Apologies and Perspectives

What if mastering the art of apology could transform your relationships? I invite you to join me on my heartfelt journey from offering shallow apologies to embracing sincere ones, a transformation that took on new meaning once I became a parent. In this episode, I share personal stories that highlight the power of acknowledging specific wrongdoings and expressing genuine remorse. By understanding the expectations and emotions of others, even when you feel you've done no wrong, you can build deeper, more meaningful connections. I'll guide you through crafting apologies that truly resonate, helping you foster stronger relationships and a more compassionate understanding of the people around you.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
the views and opinions expressed on this
podcast or website are those ofthe authors and do not
necessarily reflect the officialpolicy or position of a queen's
opinion.
Any content provided by ourbloggers or authors are their
opinion and are not intended tomalign any religion, ethnic
group, club, organization,company, individual or anyone or

(00:26):
anything.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Welcome to A Queen's Opinion.
My name is Queen, my voice, myopinion and your listening ears
this episode.
We are talking about sayingsorry.
Have you ever received an emptyapology?
Yes, I sure have received a few.

(00:53):
We say we're sorry all the timeto each other, but are we
really sorry?
Have you ever received an emptyapology?
That sounds something like thisI was mad at the time, but I
didn't mean to hurt yourfeelings.
Or, girl, you know how we augursometimes.

(01:13):
I'm sorry.
In fact, we keep accepting theempty apologies with no feelings
or reasoning behind the apology.
No feelings or reasoning behindthe apology.
An empty apology is vague,unemotional and takes no
responsibility for the wrongaction or words.
I would rather for a person notto apologize to me with an

(01:38):
empty apology.
If you are actually sorry forthe things you said, if you are
actually sorry for the thingsyou said, then the apology
should state what you did orsaid that was hurtful.
You should know what you didwrong and be able to admit it in
your apology.
I was thinking about this topic.

(02:01):
I realized that I gave emptyapologies many times to friends
and family, making this samemistake of giving them an empty
apology.
It was when I had children thatI began to change this approach
to apologizing to people.
Whenever my children would sayI am sorry, mama, I would say

(02:24):
sorry for what I was teachingthe right way to give an apology
, but not practicing thebehavior.
It was.
At that point I corrected mypoor behavior and started giving
responsible, genuine apologiesto others genuine apologies to

(02:49):
others.
So I wanted to share what Itaught my children and what I
practice today.
When apologizing to others, Iensure my apology states what I
am apologizing for, when theerror happened, why I reacted in
that manner, how I will handlethe situation next time and I
end by asking for forgiveness.

(03:10):
For example, I want to start bysaying I am sorry.
I am sorry for telling yourbusiness to other people at the
party Saturday.
I was wrong and I had no rightto share your situation with
strangers who don't know you.
I got caught up in the momentand the topic of conversation at

(03:33):
the time.
I promise you it will nothappen again and if it does, I
will share my own business.
Please forgive me.
I am asking you to pleaseforgive me for my big mouth Now
that that was an example of agenuine apology with feelings,

(03:56):
one that shows true regret forthe wrong actions.
So what do you do when you're ina situation in which a person
wants you to give them anapology, but you don't think you
did anything wrong?
Oh my Well, take a minute toput yourself on the receiving

(04:19):
end of the situation.
How did the disagreement makeyou feel the situation?
How did the disagreement makeyou feel?
Then ask the person questionsto get a better understanding of
what actions or wordsspecifically offended them.
Was it a specific word you saidto them?
Was it your tone or bodylanguage?

(04:41):
Could it have been the placeand people in the room when you
brought up the topic?
Whatever the situation, rememberthe person is feeling hurt or
harmed by you.
You may need to let thesituation settle a little bit
and address it later.
If that's the case, let theperson know that you want to

(05:05):
give a genuine apology but youdon't understand what was said
or done to hurt them but youmeant no disrespect or harm to
them and ask them to give you aminute to think it over and you
will discuss it later with themto resolve.
Sometimes, a minute to cool thesituation can be helpful.

(05:30):
To cool the situation can behelpful, I feel, when
apologizing, especially whenspeaking, our tone should sound
apologetic.
Word choices should indicateour understanding of the injury
or hurt we caused the otherperson.
Giving a genuine, responsibleapology makes you look like a

(05:52):
grown person at any age.
Plus, you feel better.
To be able to apologize andtake responsibility for your
actions is grown woman shit.
So next time you receive anempty apology, ask the person a
couple of questions like sorryfor what?

(06:13):
When did this happen?
Why did you react this way?
How will you manage thesituation next time?
Are you asking me forforgiveness?
If all answers are acceptablefor you and you want to keep the
relationship?
If all answers are acceptablefor you and you want to keep the
relationship, then accept theapology and move forward with

(06:37):
making new and better memorieswith the person.
Life is too short to hold on tothe anger we all can find it
within ourselves.
To forgive but forgetting theconflict, give but forgetting

(06:59):
the conflict Well, that is awhole different topic for a new
episode here at A Queen'sOpinion.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
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(07:35):
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Thank you.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
A Queen's Opinion is a podcast that allows people,
especially women, to think outloud about life situations and
seek an opinion without beingjudged.
This podcast is supposed tolift you up, encourage you to be
the best person you can be, toinspire you to step out of your

(08:00):
comfort zone and into your queenzone.
I didn't say my opinion willsolve your problems.
I am not saying that I am right, but what I am saying is I'm
going to give you another viewof the situation from a distance
.
No more thinking or questioninga situation by yourself.

(08:22):
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Thank you for taking time outof your day.

(08:45):
I hope you join me for our nextepisode.
Until then, goodbye.