What if grandparenting is less about quick hugs and holiday photos and more about steady presence, honest love, and real support? We dive into the heart of what grandchildren truly remember—time spent, lessons modeled, and the comfort of knowing someone always shows up. Moving beyond clichés, we unpack why “spoil and send back” sells everyone short, and how grandparents can embrace a meaningful role that strengthens kids and relieves parents.
We start by confronting a hard truth: many parenting habits are inherited, for better or worse. By owning past mistakes and modeling growth, grandparents can break unhelpful cycles and build trust across generations. From there, we offer five practical guidelines that turn intention into action: hands-on caregiving for the little years; being a calm, listening ear as kids grow; speaking truth with clarity and compassion; showing unconditional love even when boundaries are tested; and showing up—consistently—for practices, lessons, and everyday moments that stitch a family together.
These choices cost time, not money. Presence beats presents, and small rituals—calls after school, pushing a swing, cheering from the bleachers—become the memories that define a childhood. We also celebrate Grandparents’ Day as a reminder, not a substitute, for year-round involvement. By embracing a co-supporter role rather than a bystander one, grandparents offer stability, perspective, and joy that children carry for life.
If this sparks a rethink of your role, we’d love to hear your story. Subscribe for more thoughtful takes, share this episode with a friend who needs the nudge, and leave a review telling us the one moment with a grandparent you’ll never forget.
Episode Transcript
The views and opinions expressed on this
podcast or website are those ofthe authors and do not
necessarily reflect the officialpolicy or position of a Queen's
opinion.
Any content provided by ourbloggers or authors are of their
opinion and are not intended tomalign any religion, ethnic
group, club, organization,company, individual, or anyone
(00:26):
or anything?
SPEAKER_01 (00:32):
Welcome to a Queen's Opinion.
My name is my opinion and yourlistening ears.
Do grandparents have a dutyregarding their grandchildren?
Do grandparents have anyresponsibility for the care of
(00:54):
their grandchildren?
Some people say no or might say,I raise my children.
I was an example to my childrenon how to raise children, and
that's the extent of their dutyto their grandchildren.
These uncommitted grandparentsonly see their grandchildren for
(01:17):
a short period of time.
For example, their child stoppedby the house to pick up
something, and they happen tohave the grandchildren with
them.
And this is considered a visitwith the grandparents.
The grandparents are fine withthis time with their
grandchildren because they haveseen them and hugged them and
(01:41):
all seems well.
These uncommitted grandparentsdon't want any alone time with
their grandchildren.
Just a hey and buy moment meetstheir needs.
They get enough time to snap apicture with their grandkids so
they can share it with theirfriends, but they don't want to
(02:04):
take on any responsibility fortheir grandchildren, not even
preparing a snack or meal.
I agree with this idea to somedegree.
Parents are an example to theirown children about how to raise
children.
We teach our children the goodthings and the bad things,
(02:25):
whether we intend to teach thembad parenting or not.
They pick up on the behaviorthat was in their environment.
The behaviors and environment weexpose our children to will
impact the grandchildren.
If their parents were exposed topoor parenting behavior and have
carried that over to theirparenting skills, it is only
(02:49):
right for the grandparents totell the parents this was a
mistake and take responsibilityfor decisions made in their
childhood.
Grandparents need to let theirchildren know that they have
changed and don't want to makethe same mistakes with their
grandchildren.
(03:11):
That said, however, I don'tagree that grandparents should
not have any responsibility inraising the grandchildren,
though.
They definitely need someresponsibility for their
grandchildren.
Grandparents get a secondopportunity to correct the poor
(03:32):
behavior that they may havedisplayed with their own
children.
They get to correct it withtheir grandchildren.
It allows them to show their ownchildren how they have grown as
adults and acknowledge anymistakes that may have been
made.
But the only way this can beaccomplished is if grandparents
(03:55):
spend significant time withtheir grandchildren.
It's never too late to teach anold dog new tricks, generally
speaking.
As we all know, times havechanged, and raising children is
quite different from what peopleover the age of 40 already know.
But we as grandparents can stilltake the time to show our
(04:19):
children through ourgrandchildren that we have grown
and evolved.
Most grandparents that I knowsay, stick to the plan.
I'll spend a few good times withmy grandchildren, a day,
weekend, or holiday, but sendthem back to their parents.
I am here to treat mygrandchildren to a little fun,
(04:44):
but I am not trying to teachthem any lessons.
That's on their parents.
If this is what mostgrandparents truly think, then
what should theirresponsibilities be?
Well, there are no nationalguidelines.
But here is my take on thequestion.
(05:07):
One, be a caregiver for thelittle ones.
Changing diapers, washingclothes, feeding, night shift
caregiving, babysitting.
Whatever the baby needs at thisage, we should be there to
support them and their parents.
Two, be a listening ear forgrandkids, a person of reason
(05:31):
and direction.
Kids need someone to listen tothem and feel the concerns they
have about what is going on intheir life.
It may sound trivial to you, butit is important from their
viewpoint.
We should offer them advice anddirection on how to manage the
(05:51):
crisis and provide opportunitiesfor them to figure it out
themselves.
Three, be a person who speakstruth.
When the child has made a poordecision, we need to be honest
with them and explain why thisis not the way to deal with the
problem.
(06:12):
Be honest.
Show them how they went wrong inthe situation and how they can
turn it around and get back onthe right track.
Remind them that telling thetruth will set them free and
they won't have to carry thelie.
Four, be a person who providesunconditional love regardless of
(06:35):
the situation or behavior.
Tell them you love them everyopportunity you get, even when
they do something you may notapprove of in their lives.
We should be there to dry thetears and help them turn it
around.
Let them know that no matterwhat, you will love them through
(06:57):
the confusion, laughter, joy,and pain.
We are family in life and death.
Five, be a person of support inall matters.
Show them you support theirdreams.
Show up for football games,dance lessons, swim lessons,
(07:18):
piano lessons, art class,basketball, whatever event they
need you and want you to attend.
We should show up no matter theday or time.
Grandchildren first.
If we follow these grandparentguidelines, we are also
(07:38):
supporting our children bytaking these five simple steps.
Following the guidelinesregarding our grandchildren
shows our children that we areinvested in their families'
lives.
These things cost you nofinancial support.
The only thing it costs you istime.
(08:00):
We as grandparents should begiving our time to our
grandkids.
Spending time with the grandkidsis so important.
We don't want to make the samemistakes again with these little
ones that we undoubtedly madewith our own children.
Not to scare anyone, but as weget older, our days become more
(08:24):
valuable.
Our time is valuable, so weshould cherish our time with the
people we love in our lives.
Your grandchildren will rememberyou and the time you spent with
them.
Yes, they may remember thosecute little gifts you bought for
them during birthdays andChristmases, but what they will
(08:48):
remember most of all is if youspent time with them.
Did you invest in their life?
They're going to remember if youbothered to come to their
practices, special events.
Did you call to check on themjust to see what kind of day
they had?
They're going to remember if youtook time to play with them.
(09:13):
Did grandma and papa have anyone-on-one time with them?
Did we play outside?
Did they push me on the swing?
Did they take me out torestaurants or the mall?
Did they come over to my houseand spend time with me?
(09:33):
These are the thingsgrandchildren will remember
forever.
Don't you want to be in thememories of your grandchildren?
If you are not putting the timein with these grandbabies, this
episode is a wake-up call.
Wake up and call yourgrandchildren, regardless of
(09:55):
their age.
Tell them how much you lovethem, miss them, and can't wait
to see them again.
As a grandparent myself, I wantto be there for all the first
experiences in their littlelives.
The first bath, first birthday,first haircut, first swimming
(10:16):
lesson, first day of school,first boyfriend, first
heartbreak, first day ofcollege, first degree, first
job, first car, first house, andany and everything for my
grandbabies.
Being a grandparent is soimportant that the United States
(10:37):
government made a nationalholiday just for us.
An important holiday onSeptember the 13th, our official
grandparents' day in thecountry.
We should be taking out ourgrandkids for the day and
allowing them to see, feel, andhear our love that we give them
(10:58):
every day of their lives allyear long.
This day is also a time ourchildren give us our flowers,
the forget me not flowers, whichreminds the children and the
grandchildren to never forgettheir parents or grandparents.
(11:19):
Grandparents will live foreverin their hearts and minds.
Do grandparents have a dutyregarding the grandchildren?
Yes.
We are the co-parents,godparents, grandparents, best
friends, and so much more.
We should be whatever is neededin our grandchildren's lives.
(11:46):
A Queen's Opinion is a podcastthat allows people, especially
women, to think out loud aboutlife situations and seek an
opinion without being judged.
This podcast is supposed to liftyou up, encourage you to be the
best person you can be, toinspire you to step out of your
(12:08):
comfort zone and into your queenzone.
I didn't say my opinion willsolve your problems.
I am not saying that I am right.
But what I am saying is I'mgoing to give you another view
of the situation from adistance.
No more thinking or questioninga situation by yourself.
(12:31):
Ask the queen.
Go to our website,www.aqueensopinion.com.
And click on get in touch toleave your feedback.
Leave a question for the queen.
Don't forget to like us whereveryou get your podcast.
Thank you for taking time out ofyour day.
(12:53):
I hope you join me for my nextepisode.
Until then,
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