Changing Mindset, Not Circumstances: Stories of Hope with Rick Henkin

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Your loved one's behavior isn't the source of your stress—your reaction to it is." This powerful insight forms the foundation of Rick Henkin's transformative approach to dementia caregiving, which he shares in this deeply moving episode.

When Rick's wife Sonia was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at 65, their world shifted dramatically. From her developing Capgras syndrome (believing Rick was an imposter) to the heartbreak of seeing her relationship with their granddaughters deteriorate, Rick faced the crushing weight that so many caregivers experience. The turning point came not from changing his circumstances, but from changing his mindset.

Rick takes us through his journey of discovery—how he went from anger and frustration to finding what he calls his "heaven on earth" state of peace and acceptance. He shares candid stories that will resonate with anyone who's cared for someone with dementia, from Sonia putting toothpaste in her hair to "borrowing" pancakes from strangers in restaurants. Rather than sources of stress, these moments became cherished memories through Rick's transformed perspective.

Most powerfully, Rick reveals how his relationship with Sonia evolved to where spending time with her became his source of respite rather than stress. "Caregivers have the ability to make the rest of their loved one's life miserable or joyful," he notes—a profound responsibility and opportunity.

Whether you're caring for someone with dementia or facing any caregiving challenges, Rick's practical wisdom offers a path forward. By focusing on what you can control—your own thoughts and reactions—rather than what you can't, you'll discover how to lift the burden of caregiving stress while providing better care for both your loved one and yourself.