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August 21, 2025 27 mins

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What happens when a self-described "overachiever" and "fixer" faces the uncontrollable challenges of caring for multiple loved ones with serious illnesses? Jackie Freeman's powerful story reveals the beautiful transformation that can occur when we release our grip on control and embrace faithful presence instead.

Jackie grew up believing she could handle anything life threw her way. As she puts it, she was raised during the height of the feminist movement with the message that she could "bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan" – essentially managing everything through sheer determination and competence. This mindset met its match when her husband was diagnosed with brain cancer (surviving seven years beyond his six-month prognosis) while she simultaneously supported her father through Alzheimer's disease.

Through raw honesty and surprising humor, Jackie shares the profound shift from believing "everything was mine to do" to recognizing her limitations and finding strength in surrender. One of her most beautiful insights comes from what caregivers at her father's memory care facility called "Perry's Time" – the practice of giving her father space to process information at his own pace rather than rushing him. This approach transformed not just her father's care but Jackie's entire philosophy of caregiving.

The conversation explores practical wisdom for the overwhelmed caregiver: creating a medical notebook, finding small moments for spiritual renewal, accepting help from others, and discovering unexpected blessings even in loss. Jackie's perspective on hospice care is particularly enlightening, framing it not as "giving up" but as embracing support that allows both patient and family to live fully in whatever time remains.

Most movingly, Jackie reveals how caregiving ironically healed her marriage by reversing their love languages – her husband, whose love language had been acts of service, was now receiving service, while Jackie, who valued quality time, was now giving service. This role reversal created deeper understanding between them and opened space for meaningful connection even amid tremendous challenges.

Whether you're currently caregiving or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers hope that even in our most difficult seasons, we can find purpose, connection, and unexpected grace. Connect with Jackie's resources and books at JackieFreemanAuthor.com.

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