36. "Being Mean" Through a Sensory Emotional Lens

We know that the way we take in sensation impacts how we feel and, in turn, how we act and interact. We've discussed the global emotional expressions of body-based experiences - emotions like anxiety, embarrassment, surprise, confusion, needy, etc. Today, we are going to dive into social situations and a topic that's been coming up lately - kids saying things to others that are unkind or saying seemingly purposefully hurtful or mean things to others.  

Well, at least, the things being said were interpreted as purposefully mean or hurtful. It turns out the child who said what they said was NOT trying to be mean at all. They did not set out to intentionally hurt the other person with their words, and we know there are many sensory-motor reasons for that. So today, we're using a Sensory Emotional Lens, particularly through the lens of being Unaware yet Deep Thinking, to examine meanness. 

In this episode, you'll discover:

• That what you expect is correct - your child is NOT actually trying to be mean and that they actually do care about what they are saying

• Why your child says mean things 

• Why reminding them with statements like “We are not mean to our friends” and “Being mean is not kind” is not working

• Ways to understand and explain why this is happening, based on the way they are processing sensation 

• Ways to help your child in times when they find themselves ‘being mean’

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About

Michele Parkins MS, OTR/L IMH-E®

Founder & Director, Great Kids Place 

Founder, Sensory Emotional Engagement Model™

Michele is an Occupational Therapist endorsed as an Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Specialist. She specializes in working with children and families with Sensory Processing and Integration Disorders and challenges in social-emotional development. She is also a parent of two sensory kids. She works and lives sensational kids! Michele is a fellow of Dr. Lucy Jane Miller, OTR.

 

Michele is passionate about working with families and other therapists and continues to do so as a clinician and educator. She educates therapists from all over the country and world and continues to provide consultation to schools on treatment for sensory processing disorder. Michele has co-authored a chapter in the 3rd edition of Sensory Integration: Theory and Practice, the textbook for sensory evaluation and treatment, alongside world-renowned pioneers in the field, and is currently writing a parenting book and children’s books.  She hopes to help everyone - children and adults- understand their Sensory Emotional Personality™ style and ways to find strength and joy within them.