January 23, 2025 • 15 mins
Cheers for Sparking Zero's DLC! Jeers to the TikTok ban. In today's episode, I talk about navigating the tumultuous waters of fandoms can sometimes turn our greatest loves into burdens. Some highlights:
• Discussing the interplay between joy and burn-out in hyperfixations
• Reflecting on the bittersweet experience of the Hazbin Hotel fandom
• Exploring possessiveness over fictional characters and stories
• Questioning how to reconnect with loved passions after disillusionment
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Hello and welcome to another episode of A Spectrum of
Hyperfixations.
I am your host, miss T.
Today I honestly don't evenknow what the T stands for.
It is a brain scatter day whereI just I feel restless.
(00:42):
I feel like I can't focus, andthis is coming off of the high
that I had yesterday from thewebinar.
It went really really great.
I'm so thankful for the peoplewho came live.
It went really well for myfirst webinar.
There were some technical bitsand issues, things to learn from
, but otherwise super proud ofmyself.
(01:04):
I was so nervous leading up toit and then afterwards still
riding that adrenaline rush.
So today I'm kind of feelingthe crash from something very
exciting and now so don't evenknow what the T stands for today
, getting right into the cheersand jeers.
For today, getting right intothe cheers and jeers Cheers is
(01:29):
the new Dragon Ball SparkingZero superhero DLC that just
came out.
I personally don't play the game.
I'm not a big fan of 3Dfighters but oh my gosh, does
the DLC look good and get metempted to buy this game.
Dlc look good and get metempted to buy this game.
I freaking love Super Hero, theSuper Hero movie, and oh my
gosh, the Gammas look good, myboys, beast, gohan, they all
(01:56):
look so good.
Right now I even have on my TVa video of Dada Doya playing
Orange, piccolo and gosh.
It just looks so good.
But for as good as it looks,it's also very chaotic and hard
to follow all the action andthings happening.
(02:17):
At least for me, for a 3Dfighter, it's just very hard to
follow and I think that's what'sgoing to keep me from buying
the game myself, because Iwouldn't know where to follow.
And I think that's what's goingto keep me from buying the game
myself is because I wouldn'tknow where to look.
I wouldn't know how to adjustcamera things like that.
But boy does it look good.
And, um, I'm excited to seemore videos come out of the
(02:40):
superhero cast and just yeah.
So that is, that is the cheersfor the moment.
The jeers is I had jeers and andI mean it was the TikTok ban
when I was first going to recordthis, but TikTok's back up.
So I don't know, I guess itstill kind of feels like jeers
because I don't know.
(03:01):
I guess it still kind of feelslike jurors, because I don't
particularly want governmentinvolvement on the app and the
media to kind of skew it the waythat it does and every other
source of media.
I don't want it to become likeFacebook, where it is just so
(03:23):
full of ads and that iseverything that you see.
Um, so, yeah, I guess just thethe future of Tik TOK is kind of
the jeers right now.
Um, not really sure what else,but, um, I guess jeers is kind
(03:44):
of leading in today's episodecontent, because I wasn't sure
what I was going to talk abouttoday.
But it is the one yearanniversary or just about I
think it's passed since has BeenHotel landed on Amazon Prime
(04:04):
and I love that show.
It is one of my absolute hyperfixations.
You can see me posting contentor talking about it on like
TikTok and things like that.
I write fanfic for it.
I became obsessed.
But here's the jeers part of it.
I think I've ruined it formyself, and I say that because
(04:30):
the other day, as I was drivinghome on my iPod, a song from the
show came on and I almostskipped it.
That's unheard of.
I would play that soundtrack onrepeat for like months after
the show came out and I love thesongs on there, and so to think
(04:51):
that I was like about to turnthe track was like whoa, not
only that, I was listening to itand I'm thinking not only that,
I was listening to it and I'mthinking, yeah, okay, it was
like the magic had disappeared.
And as I got to thinking aboutit, I'm thinking, okay, first
(05:12):
off, some of the fans havedefinitely ruined it for me
Seeing their discourse aboutthis and that, whatever you go
into fandoms nowadays and it isso toxic, it is not anything
like what I remember thequote-unquote good old days to
be when they were on livejournal and, um, yeah, the live
(05:33):
journal days of a fandom.
There's just and I hate to sayit, but I think the younger
audience has really ruinedthings for everybody involved.
Yeah, just, very, very toxic.
And in turn, I'm veryprotective of the characters and
(05:58):
the way that I see them andinterpret them to be.
I recognize now that this iscommon in autistic individuals
or even neurodivergent people ingeneral because I've had a
couple of my ADHD friends saythe same that they can get
possessive of their charactersas well.
(06:19):
And so combine that in plusuh-oh, phil's sneeze coming on,
excuse me, we're still recording, we're still at.
So combine all that.
(06:45):
But I realized I have become soattached to the story I'm
currently creating and writingand how the characters are in
that and what they're doing,that it's hard to go back to
canon.
It's like I've created my owncanon and now it's hard to
separate from that.
I would love to know if anybodyelse out there has experienced
this, where they kind of ruinedsomething they love for
(07:06):
themselves, where you can'tenjoy it.
It's very hard to enjoy it.
I haven't watched the showsince, I think, march or April
of last year, because now itfeels like it has to be this
whole production, this wholevery special occasion where I'm
like, okay, I'm going to watchthis and I need to set aside a
(07:30):
certain time, like it's gotta bea whole whole thing.
I can't just sit down and watchan episode and I definitely
can't sit down and watch anepisode in the middle of the
season, like it has to be startto finish.
Yeah, it's like why am I likethis?
I hate this Because I love it,I love the characters, but what
(07:55):
I don't love is the fandom, andI think you could say that for a
lot of things, but I just don'tknow how to explain it in a way
that would make sense and soundsane, because right now I feel
(08:15):
like I sound insane.
Let's be honest, I feel like Isound insane.
But yeah, I've just become tooattached to these characters and
too attached to this world.
I ruined it, ruined it formyself, can't enjoy it anymore.
(08:37):
I can still look at fan artoccasionally, but going back to
Facebook, just taking overwhatever it is that you Google
for or that it sees you likingjust one time and then it floods
your feed with more of that andI'm like no, I don't.
(08:57):
I don't want to constantly seepeople talking about their
headcanon or theirinterpretation of this scene or
this character and I don't wantto see pictures of this and that
and blah, blah, blah, blah.
So now I have to figure out howto curate my Facebook feedback
to what it was and not have allthe has-been and hell of a boss
stuff on there.
Because, speaking of hell of aboss, I have only watched season
(09:21):
one of it.
I haven't started season twoyet.
I know I'm very behind.
I was very against hell of aboss when it first came out.
I watched a'm very behind.
I was very against Tell of aBoss when it first came out.
I watched a couple episodes andI'm just like this is not for
me, because I fell in love withthe pilot of Has-Been Hotel when
it first came out on YouTube.
That was what I wanted more of.
(09:42):
And then we get this other likespinoff, and it's nothing like
the tone that was set in thehas-been pilot.
It's none of those charactersthat I really enjoyed and I'm
like I don't like this, notunderstanding like the tone and
everything that it was supposedto be going for.
And because it wasn't what Iwent like I wanted more has-been
(10:05):
and I wasn't getting it, sodidn't like it when it first
came out.
Then my friend kind of told meto give it another try, that
it's found its footing, it'sfound where it wants to go.
And if you can, yeah, separatewhat you were expecting of this
(10:26):
from that like they are twocompletely separate things you
might enjoy it better, and I did.
Like those first two episodeswere pretty rough.
I haven't gone back and watchedthose, but after that I started
really enjoying those.
Um that followed and I do wantto get back into watching it,
but this is probably going tosound so pathetic by how to stop
(10:50):
watching, because I was sodepressed and feeling so lonely
when I like finished season onethat it made me sad to watch it
because I wanted what Millie andMoxie have as a relationship.
They're so adorable, they're soin love.
I love both of them.
(11:11):
I love them as a couple andthey are like hashtag ghouls for
a relationship and I couldn'twatch anymore because it made me
so sad about my real life.
But I didn't have a Moxie or aMillie, and yeah, and then I was
(11:36):
feeling kind of sad for stolosand um, if you have no idea what
has been hotel is or hell of aboss you're, you're gonna
struggle with this episode ofthe podcast.
Let me tell you, because I'mnaming all these people and
you're probably like who thehell is that?
Uh, what is she talking about?
But if you know, you know andum, so season two is definitely
something I want to get backinto, especially with all of the
um, the chatter and stuff thatI saw with the.
(11:56):
What was that called themastermind episode, where we got
a little sneak peek of um, whatlucifer would be doing had he,
like, picked up hisresponsibilities as the king of
hell.
Um, and just seeing them allcome together was pretty cool,
just from the pictures I saw.
(12:17):
So I think that would be aninteresting episode to see.
Um, so, yeah, that's on my listto go back to, but, um, yeah,
this is kind of a this kind ofagain an episode all over the
place, but that's what we getRandom rabbit holes.
And yeah, speaking of HasbinHotel, I finally got my
(12:40):
autographed print from AmirTalai I'm not sure if I'm
pronouncing his last namecorrectly and Jeremy Jordan, the
voice actors of alistair andlucifer, respectively.
Um, I pre-ordered this, I think, back in august.
Amir signed it in september andthen took freaking forever to
(13:01):
go to new york, wait for jeremyjordan to sign it and then come
back to me.
But it is finally here and itis up on my wall.
I need need to get a pictureframe for it.
Um is very, very, uh pretty andum, yeah, it was.
It was well worth the wait toknow that I have something that
(13:22):
both of them touched.
Huh, fangirl moment for that.
So I will wrap up this episode,because I feel like I could
just ramble on and on, and Iwould like to keep it a little
bit cohesive, yeah.
So, question of the day questionthat I leave you with is have
you ever ruined something foryourself that you loved, and how
(13:47):
, if, were you able to get backinto it?
How were you able to get backinto love with it?
Enjoy it again.
I would love to know, do yourelate to becoming so possessive
(14:07):
of characters or canon material?
This and that it's just veryweird, because in the fandoms
I've been in it's not always athing where I feel this
possessive of the characters.
I don't really remember thatbeing so strong when I was
writing for Dragon Ball, becauseit was mostly my hyper fixation
was on Perfect Cell and Gohan,and I think people for the most
(14:32):
part were pretty well aligned inwhat they, how they interpreted
both the characters, becauseDragon Ball is pretty um, in
comparison to a lot of other ummedia and stuff.
The characters are pretty um,straightforward and um, even if
you interpret them, it's still,I think, true to who they really
(14:56):
are, whereas this one it justpeople are.
People have gone nuts, peoplehave really gone nuts is what it
feels like.
Um and uh.
They're just very rapid.
It's a different um age skewed.
I think Um, yeah, now I'm justrambling at this point and uh,
so I will end it here and uh,I'm considering maybe moving
(15:21):
this to a bi-weekly thing, butwe'll see I'll feel into it.
So thank you again for joiningme on this episode.
And how did I end it last time?
Oh my gosh, this is horrible.
I don't even remember how Iended it.
You are loved, you matter.
(15:42):
Bye.
Hello and welcome to another episode of A Spectrum of
Hyperfixations.
I am your host, miss T.
Today I honestly don't evenknow what the T stands for.
It is a brain scatter day whereI just I feel restless.
(00:42):
I feel like I can't focus, andthis is coming off of the high
that I had yesterday from thewebinar.
It went really really great.
I'm so thankful for the peoplewho came live.
It went really well for myfirst webinar.
There were some technical bitsand issues, things to learn from
, but otherwise super proud ofmyself.
(01:04):
I was so nervous leading up toit and then afterwards still
riding that adrenaline rush.
So today I'm kind of feelingthe crash from something very
exciting and now so don't evenknow what the T stands for today
, getting right into the cheersand jeers.
For today, getting right intothe cheers and jeers Cheers is
(01:29):
the new Dragon Ball SparkingZero superhero DLC that just
came out.
I personally don't play the game.
I'm not a big fan of 3Dfighters but oh my gosh, does
the DLC look good and get metempted to buy this game.
Dlc look good and get metempted to buy this game.
I freaking love Super Hero, theSuper Hero movie, and oh my
gosh, the Gammas look good, myboys, beast, gohan, they all
(01:56):
look so good.
Right now I even have on my TVa video of Dada Doya playing
Orange, piccolo and gosh.
It just looks so good.
But for as good as it looks,it's also very chaotic and hard
to follow all the action andthings happening.
(02:17):
At least for me, for a 3Dfighter, it's just very hard to
follow and I think that's what'sgoing to keep me from buying
the game myself, because Iwouldn't know where to follow.
And I think that's what's goingto keep me from buying the game
myself is because I wouldn'tknow where to look.
I wouldn't know how to adjustcamera things like that.
But boy does it look good.
And, um, I'm excited to seemore videos come out of the
(02:40):
superhero cast and just yeah.
So that is, that is the cheersfor the moment.
The jeers is I had jeers and andI mean it was the TikTok ban
when I was first going to recordthis, but TikTok's back up.
So I don't know, I guess itstill kind of feels like jeers
because I don't know.
(03:01):
I guess it still kind of feelslike jurors, because I don't
particularly want governmentinvolvement on the app and the
media to kind of skew it the waythat it does and every other
source of media.
I don't want it to become likeFacebook, where it is just so
(03:23):
full of ads and that iseverything that you see.
Um, so, yeah, I guess just thethe future of Tik TOK is kind of
the jeers right now.
Um, not really sure what else,but, um, I guess jeers is kind
(03:44):
of leading in today's episodecontent, because I wasn't sure
what I was going to talk abouttoday.
But it is the one yearanniversary or just about I
think it's passed since has BeenHotel landed on Amazon Prime
(04:04):
and I love that show.
It is one of my absolute hyperfixations.
You can see me posting contentor talking about it on like
TikTok and things like that.
I write fanfic for it.
I became obsessed.
But here's the jeers part of it.
I think I've ruined it formyself, and I say that because
(04:30):
the other day, as I was drivinghome on my iPod, a song from the
show came on and I almostskipped it.
That's unheard of.
I would play that soundtrack onrepeat for like months after
the show came out and I love thesongs on there, and so to think
(04:51):
that I was like about to turnthe track was like whoa, not
only that, I was listening to itand I'm thinking not only that,
I was listening to it and I'mthinking, yeah, okay, it was
like the magic had disappeared.
And as I got to thinking aboutit, I'm thinking, okay, first
(05:12):
off, some of the fans havedefinitely ruined it for me
Seeing their discourse aboutthis and that, whatever you go
into fandoms nowadays and it isso toxic, it is not anything
like what I remember thequote-unquote good old days to
be when they were on livejournal and, um, yeah, the live
(05:33):
journal days of a fandom.
There's just and I hate to sayit, but I think the younger
audience has really ruinedthings for everybody involved.
Yeah, just, very, very toxic.
And in turn, I'm veryprotective of the characters and
(05:58):
the way that I see them andinterpret them to be.
I recognize now that this iscommon in autistic individuals
or even neurodivergent people ingeneral because I've had a
couple of my ADHD friends saythe same that they can get
possessive of their charactersas well.
(06:19):
And so combine that in plusuh-oh, phil's sneeze coming on,
excuse me, we're still recording, we're still at.
So combine all that.
(06:45):
But I realized I have become soattached to the story I'm
currently creating and writingand how the characters are in
that and what they're doing,that it's hard to go back to
canon.
It's like I've created my owncanon and now it's hard to
separate from that.
I would love to know if anybodyelse out there has experienced
this, where they kind of ruinedsomething they love for
(07:06):
themselves, where you can'tenjoy it.
It's very hard to enjoy it.
I haven't watched the showsince, I think, march or April
of last year, because now itfeels like it has to be this
whole production, this wholevery special occasion where I'm
like, okay, I'm going to watchthis and I need to set aside a
(07:30):
certain time, like it's gotta bea whole whole thing.
I can't just sit down and watchan episode and I definitely
can't sit down and watch anepisode in the middle of the
season, like it has to be startto finish.
Yeah, it's like why am I likethis?
I hate this Because I love it,I love the characters, but what
(07:55):
I don't love is the fandom, andI think you could say that for a
lot of things, but I just don'tknow how to explain it in a way
that would make sense and soundsane, because right now I feel
(08:15):
like I sound insane.
Let's be honest, I feel like Isound insane.
But yeah, I've just become tooattached to these characters and
too attached to this world.
I ruined it, ruined it formyself, can't enjoy it anymore.
(08:37):
I can still look at fan artoccasionally, but going back to
Facebook, just taking overwhatever it is that you Google
for or that it sees you likingjust one time and then it floods
your feed with more of that andI'm like no, I don't.
(08:57):
I don't want to constantly seepeople talking about their
headcanon or theirinterpretation of this scene or
this character and I don't wantto see pictures of this and that
and blah, blah, blah, blah.
So now I have to figure out howto curate my Facebook feedback
to what it was and not have allthe has-been and hell of a boss
stuff on there.
Because, speaking of hell of aboss, I have only watched season
(09:21):
one of it.
I haven't started season twoyet.
I know I'm very behind.
I was very against hell of aboss when it first came out.
I watched a'm very behind.
I was very against Tell of aBoss when it first came out.
I watched a couple episodes andI'm just like this is not for
me, because I fell in love withthe pilot of Has-Been Hotel when
it first came out on YouTube.
That was what I wanted more of.
(09:42):
And then we get this other likespinoff, and it's nothing like
the tone that was set in thehas-been pilot.
It's none of those charactersthat I really enjoyed and I'm
like I don't like this, notunderstanding like the tone and
everything that it was supposedto be going for.
And because it wasn't what Iwent like I wanted more has-been
(10:05):
and I wasn't getting it, sodidn't like it when it first
came out.
Then my friend kind of told meto give it another try, that
it's found its footing, it'sfound where it wants to go.
And if you can, yeah, separatewhat you were expecting of this
(10:26):
from that like they are twocompletely separate things you
might enjoy it better, and I did.
Like those first two episodeswere pretty rough.
I haven't gone back and watchedthose, but after that I started
really enjoying those.
Um that followed and I do wantto get back into watching it,
but this is probably going tosound so pathetic by how to stop
(10:50):
watching, because I was sodepressed and feeling so lonely
when I like finished season onethat it made me sad to watch it
because I wanted what Millie andMoxie have as a relationship.
They're so adorable, they're soin love.
I love both of them.
(11:11):
I love them as a couple andthey are like hashtag ghouls for
a relationship and I couldn'twatch anymore because it made me
so sad about my real life.
But I didn't have a Moxie or aMillie, and yeah, and then I was
(11:36):
feeling kind of sad for stolosand um, if you have no idea what
has been hotel is or hell of aboss you're, you're gonna
struggle with this episode ofthe podcast.
Let me tell you, because I'mnaming all these people and
you're probably like who thehell is that?
Uh, what is she talking about?
But if you know, you know andum, so season two is definitely
something I want to get backinto, especially with all of the
um, the chatter and stuff thatI saw with the.
(11:56):
What was that called themastermind episode, where we got
a little sneak peek of um, whatlucifer would be doing had he,
like, picked up hisresponsibilities as the king of
hell.
Um, and just seeing them allcome together was pretty cool,
just from the pictures I saw.
(12:17):
So I think that would be aninteresting episode to see.
Um, so, yeah, that's on my listto go back to, but, um, yeah,
this is kind of a this kind ofagain an episode all over the
place, but that's what we getRandom rabbit holes.
And yeah, speaking of HasbinHotel, I finally got my
(12:40):
autographed print from AmirTalai I'm not sure if I'm
pronouncing his last namecorrectly and Jeremy Jordan, the
voice actors of alistair andlucifer, respectively.
Um, I pre-ordered this, I think, back in august.
Amir signed it in september andthen took freaking forever to
(13:01):
go to new york, wait for jeremyjordan to sign it and then come
back to me.
But it is finally here and itis up on my wall.
I need need to get a pictureframe for it.
Um is very, very, uh pretty andum, yeah, it was.
It was well worth the wait toknow that I have something that
(13:22):
both of them touched.
Huh, fangirl moment for that.
So I will wrap up this episode,because I feel like I could
just ramble on and on, and Iwould like to keep it a little
bit cohesive, yeah.
So, question of the day questionthat I leave you with is have
you ever ruined something foryourself that you loved, and how
(13:47):
, if, were you able to get backinto it?
How were you able to get backinto love with it?
Enjoy it again.
I would love to know, do yourelate to becoming so possessive
(14:07):
of characters or canon material?
This and that it's just veryweird, because in the fandoms
I've been in it's not always athing where I feel this
possessive of the characters.
I don't really remember thatbeing so strong when I was
writing for Dragon Ball, becauseit was mostly my hyper fixation
was on Perfect Cell and Gohan,and I think people for the most
(14:32):
part were pretty well aligned inwhat they, how they interpreted
both the characters, becauseDragon Ball is pretty um, in
comparison to a lot of other ummedia and stuff.
The characters are pretty um,straightforward and um, even if
you interpret them, it's still,I think, true to who they really
(14:56):
are, whereas this one it justpeople are.
People have gone nuts, peoplehave really gone nuts is what it
feels like.
Um and uh.
They're just very rapid.
It's a different um age skewed.
I think Um, yeah, now I'm justrambling at this point and uh,
so I will end it here and uh,I'm considering maybe moving
(15:21):
this to a bi-weekly thing, butwe'll see I'll feel into it.
So thank you again for joiningme on this episode.
And how did I end it last time?
Oh my gosh, this is horrible.
I don't even remember how Iended it.
You are loved, you matter.
(15:42):
Bye.
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