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March 27, 2022 8 mins

This episode offers a paced breathing guided meditation to help reduce emotional pain quickly and allow you to get through a difficult moment without making the situation worse.

When emotional arousal is high the body goes into fight or flight mode. The adrenaline pumps and blood flows to the extremities to prepare the body to face danger. This process works well if you're in real danger, but it's uncomfortable and can lead to problems when you're not.  Paced breathing is a Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skill that rapidly sends a message to your mind and body to stop the fight or flight process and move into rest and digest by triggering your parasympathetic nervous system. This skill is DBT TIPP Skill and used as a first line of defense when emotional intensity is at it's highest. Other skills in the category are 

Temperature — By placing icepacks on your face and neck or dunking your face in a bowl of ice (not lower than 50 degrees), you can rapidly lessen emotional intensity. Hold your breath and put your face in the ice-water for 30-60 seconds. This skill shouldn't be attempted if you have a heart condition.

Intense exercise – Intense cardio exercise for 15-20 minutes can decrease intense emotions for up to an hour. Go for a run or run in place, punch a punching bag or pillow, or do a You Tube workout.  Here are a couple to try: 20 minute Home HIIT Workout and The Fitness Marshall (Short fun dance workouts, do 2-3  for optimal effect).

Paced breathing – This breathing exercise triggers the parasympathetic nervous system by slowing the breath and making the inhale shorter than the exhale.  In this meditation, we breathed in for 4 and out for 6.

Paired muscle relaxation – In this exercise you tense and relax one muscle group at a time.  When you first tense muscles before relaxing them, your muscles release more deeply than with relaxing alone. This was demonstrated on a previous episode of A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice.

TIPP Skills work quickly and easily to reduce emotional intensity. However, the effects are not often long lasting. If you are not read to face your day after completing your TIPP Skill, try another, or try another skills. Self-soothe by triggering the 5 senses. I recommend creating a crisis survival kit for this purpose. You can also distract with activity: playing video games, doing a puzzle, walking your dog, calling a friend, watching TV or YouTube, listening to music, baking a cake, taking a shower, going for a drive. Do not engage with the source of your emotional intensity until you're in a wise mind place.


Thanks so much for your support of A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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