Porn Is Normal Now — But Does That Make It Healthy?

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Porn isn’t taboo anymore — it’s TED Talk–approved.
We’re told it’s healthy, empowering, and completely normal.
But if that’s true…
why do so many people feel emptier after watching?

In this episode of Think First, Jim Detjen unpacks the poetic truths and quiet gaslighting around modern porn culture. With calm curiosity and dry humor, we ask the questions no one wants to Google — about connection, numbness, and who really benefits from calling this progress.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
I'm Jim Detchen, and this is Think First, the daily
podcast that doesn't scream orsermonize.
We just ask better questions.
And today, we're going there.
Because statistically speaking,you've watched it.
A 2023 study from the Journal ofSex Research found that over 90%

(00:20):
of men and 60% of women reportedviewing porn in the last month.
So, yeah, this one's personal.
And if I'm in the 9% thathasn't, then either I'm an
outlier or just very carefulwith my browser history.
What happens when something iseverywhere, but no one really
talks about how it makes themfeel?

(00:41):
If porn is empowering, why doesit often feel like emotional
junk food?
Great in the moment, kind ofhollow after?
If it's normal, why is it stilltaboo to bring up in real
conversation?
Why is it easier to talk aboutyour taxes than your tab
history?
And who exactly benefits fromcalling it healthy while quietly

(01:04):
profiting from your clicks?
Somewhere along the way, pornstopped being taboo and started
being TED Talk adjacent.
It's no longer shameful.
It's sex positive.
It's not addiction.
It's self-exploration.
It's not loneliness.
It's personal agency.
And maybe some of that's true.
But also, maybe something's offwhen connection comes with an

(01:27):
algorithm and a cancellationpolicy.
You can spend hours swipingthrough digital strangers and
still feel like nobody's touchedyou in months.
And that's not judgment.
That's just reality quietlyknocking.
Look, we're being gaslit, toldthere's nothing wrong, that it's
normal, healthy, empowering.

(01:47):
And if it doesn't feel that wayto you, well, then you're the
problem.
Too repressed, too religious,too uptight.
That's how gaslighting works.
It flips the discomfort back onyou.
But maybe you're not imaginingit.
Maybe the disconnect, thenumbness, the shame, are
signals, not defects.

(02:10):
We're told this is the newnormal.
But if that's true, why do somany people feel numb, detached,
or more alone after they consumeit?
Why are relationships breakingdown not from cheating, but from
comparison?
Why are young men losinginterest in actual sex while
their dopamine's wired to ascreen?

(02:31):
And why are the people raisingconcern mocked as prudish,
regressive, or somehowanti-freedom?
When did asking questions becomethe red flag?
Call it what you want, but anyhabit that leaves you emptier
than you started probably isn'tas empowering as it claims.
If porn is just entertainment,why does it hold so much power

(02:54):
over our time, our minds and ourexpectations?
If it's just healthy, why do weconsume it like a secret?
So I'll leave you with this.
You don't need all the answers,but if you're getting them from
a search bar labeled stepmom,you might want to think again.