#168. Healing Through Yoga: My Journey with Trauma with Nicole Byars

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith (00:01):
Are you ready to embark on a
transformative journey thatblends logic and intuition? Dr.
Joyce Anastasia, an intuitiveconsultant with a PhD in quantum
natural medicine is here toguide you. With her unique
approach. Dr. Joyce bridges thegap between the intuitive and

(00:26):
the logical, creating a paradigmshift that amplifies your impact
on the world. Through her WisdomTeachings and effective natural
processes, Dr. Joyce evokes yourgreatest strength and unlocks
transformational possibilities.
Her services include quantum andremote healing, past life

(00:49):
regression, divine intuitivesessions, Dream exploration, and
ethical manifestation fromvision to reality. Imagine
shifting from feeling oppressedand controlled to embracing
vulnerability and authenticity,transition from fear to courage,

(01:11):
from overwhelmed to peace ofmind, feel empowered to make
those formidable decisions tocreate optimal outcomes with no
harm. Dr. Joyce helps youidentify and overcome limiting
beliefs through integrativeworks that span many traditions,

(01:33):
recognising and celebrating theuniqueness in each one of us. In
a safe and confidentialenvironment, Dr. Joyce provides
support for those in high levelsof leadership and academia. With
her guidance, you can drop theneed for control, make powerful

(01:55):
decisions and to have thecourage to discover what's
possible for you. Takeresponsibility for your life and
find peace with Dr. Joyce,Anastasia. Unlock your potential
and start your journey towards amore conscious and empowered
life today. So if you're readyto drop the control file, go to

(02:19):
www.leadbywisdom.com and unlockyour full potential.
It's Marissa Lee here, and I'mso excited to be sharing today's
interview round episode withyou. In these episodes, our

(02:44):
brilliant lineup of guests willinclude healthcare
practitioners, voice educators,and other professionals who will
share their stories, knowledgeand experiences within their
specialised fields to empoweryou to live your best life.
Whether you're a member of thevoice, community, or beyond your

(03:07):
voice is your unique gift. It'stime now to share your gift with
others develop a positivemindset and become the best and
most authentic version ofyourself to create greater
impact. Ultimately, you can takecharge, it's time for you to

(03:30):
live your best life. It's timenow for a voice and beyond. So
without further ado, let's go totoday's episode.
Welcome to another inspiringepisode of a voice and beyond.

(03:51):
This week, we are honoured tohave Nicole Byers, the owner and
founder of honest yoga join us.
Nicole is not only passionateabout yoga, personal growth and
her signature backwards hats,but she also has a profound
personal journey with trauma.

(04:14):
diagnosed with Post TraumaticStress Disorder, Nicole has
navigated the complex emotionsof shame, sadness and
embarrassment, ultimatelyfinding a sense of relief and
healing through yoga. In thisepisode, Nicole shares her

(04:34):
journey of transforming paininto purpose by establishing
honest yoga, a sanctuarydesigned to help others heal
from trauma in a supportivecommunity. Her Studio is a
testament to the power of yogain fostering recovery and

(04:56):
growth, creating a safe spacewhere people can Feel a sense of
belonging. Nicola dresses commonmisconceptions about trauma,
explaining that it is oftenassociated solely with extreme
events, such as war, naturaldisasters and abuse, what she

(05:18):
refers to as big T trauma.
However, she emphasises thatlittle T traumas, which are more
everyday experiences are just assignificant and impactful.
Nicole believes that everyonehas encountered some form of
trauma, and recognising this iscrucial for healing. As part of

(05:43):
her philosophy is the importanceof feeling a sense of belonging,
and that a foundation ofcommunity is essential for
mental health and well being. Sojoin us as Nicole Byers delves
into these insights and sharesher expertise on how we can all

(06:04):
better understand and heal fromtrauma. So, without further ado,
let's go to today's episode.

(06:27):
Welcome to a voice and beyond,we have a very special guest all
the way from Minnesota. And Idon't think I've had a guest
from there before we have NicoleByars. How are you, Nicole?

Nicole Byars (06:41):
I am really good and grateful to be here. And I
love that I am your first guestfrom Minnesota. I

know.
Right? So you've setting the barreally high? You know that?
idea. So, Nicole, you're herebecause we are going to get into
your work that you do withtrauma informed yoga. So you are
the owner and founder of honestyoga. And I love that you say

(07:13):
that you are obsessed with yoga,personal growth and backwards
hats. Okay, what does that mean?
Is that like the hat way youwear it backwards? Or is that
sort of symbolic of something?
Yeah,

no, it's not symbolic of anything. It is
legit wearing my hat backwards.
You'll find me a lot if you comeinto the studio with my hat on,
and a lot of times it'sbackwards. And I don't wear a
hat when I teach yoga. But I doteach strength training classes.
And so I have that backwards haton. It almost gives me a feeling

(07:53):
of like, it's an edge. I don'tknow. And so I kind of go with
the backwards hat because itkind of gives me that little
edgy

feeling.
That's a little bit of sass.
Yeah,

a little bit of sass. So, I like my hat
backwards.

I should try that. I want more sass.
Except my only problem is Idon't wear hats because I don't
like messing my hair. And youhave beautiful hair. I could not
imagine you with this hat onlooking like a dude that

I wear I wear my hair in braids. So I'll have my
hair braids. And then I work myhat backwards. Yeah, amazing.

Now, Nicole, we're going to get into
some serious business herebecause we have a very sensitive
topic to talk about today thatI'm really looking forward to
discussing with you. But firstup, how did you come to discover
yoga? And what was that firstexperience like for you? Because

(09:05):
most people that I speak to,they actually don't love it
straight away. So talk aboutmaybe how you discovered it and
then how it felt like for youstraight up? Yeah,

so I too, came to Yoga very resistant. It was not
something that I was interestedin. And I was actually pretty
much forced to do yoga back in2007 when I was admitted into an
eating disorder treatmentcentre, and it was outpatient

(09:38):
treatment. And part of our dailypractices was yoga. And it was a
very holistic style treatmentcentre. And like I said, I
didn't really have a choice yogawas part of the treatment and
part of the recovery. And I wasa pound the pavement

(10:01):
overachiever runner. That typeof workout was was my jam,
punishing my body, that type ofstuff. So when yoga was
introduced, I, like I said, wasvery resistant to it. But I had
to do it. And so for the firstcouple of weeks, I really didn't

(10:25):
feel much, I just had to bethere. It was like I was, my
body was there, but mentally Iwas not there. And then two
weeks into the programme, waswhen I had a shift. I had a
shift one day in practice, andwe were standing outside. It was
a beautiful summer day inMinnesota. And we were we were

(10:45):
barefoot, and we were standingin the grass, the sun was out,
the teacher was guiding us toclose our eyes. And we were just
standing there. That's all wewere doing. We were standing in
the grass, and she was teachingus mindfulness, she was guiding
us into the present moment. Andin that moment, it was the first

(11:06):
time that I actually becamepresent with myself. And felt
this and it lasted for only 10seconds about but just felt this
like deep connection and love tomyself that I had not felt for
at least a decade. And so it wasthat blimp of that short 10

(11:26):
Second feeling that I wantedmore of that I wanted to
experience more of that. And soslowly, as I continued to go
through treatment, and startedto get a little bit better, I
started to experience more ofthose moments. And not just when

(11:47):
I was in a yoga class per se, Ibegan to experience more of
those moments outside of theyoga class. And that's how my
journey started resistant. Butthen it shifted into something
that I fell in love with. Wow.

And that eating disorder. And I say this
with great empathy because I toohave had an eating disorder. I
was bulimic many years ago, andI've been in recovery now for 30
plus years. What triggered that?
And I mean, for you to go into afacility, you must have been

(12:29):
very unwell with that. Yeah.

So I was I was anorexic. And I was very unwell
I was 26. When I went in, at thetime, I thought, and this is
part of it. Part of the eatingdisorder was control. Lighting,
there was a lot of things Igraduated college, I was working

(12:56):
in corporate America, I hated myjob, you know, if you think
about it as a child, and thenmoving into college, you know,
in high school, and if youchoose to go to college, or
university, everything isplanned for you. And then once
you're done, it's just like,there you go, this is the real
world and you jump right in. AndI was feeling very lost. And

(13:19):
controlling my food was a wayfor me to find control. I had,
you know, there was some familystuff, you know, as far as my
parents and you know, justtrying to it was always like,
you have to look a certain way.
And so there's some of that.
Yes. And so that's what Ithought was the main reason for

(13:42):
the eating disorder. Well, fastforward maybe 10 years, because
the eating disorder kind ofcomes and goes. It's always
there. It's almost like ifyou're an alcoholic, yes, you
know, it's something that it'sthe voice is either quiet when
I'm feeling grounded. But thevoice can get really loud if I

(14:04):
start to feel out of control andchaotic. But now I have the
tools to help me quiet thatvoice again. But if we fast
forward a decade, that's when Ihad a memory of childhood sexual
abuse. And that memory came likea tonne of bricks at the age of

(14:25):
39. And so from there, I did alot of unpacking since I was 39.
And I learned everything in mylife, the eating disorder, the
abusive relationships, my copingmechanisms, everything makes

(14:48):
sense. Yes, I did, and engagedin those behaviours and that
self hate and those punishingbehaviours because of the sexual
abuse was when I was 12. And sothat was the true core wound of
the eating disorder that I didnot discover fully until I was

(15:12):
39. So, almost 15 years later,or 13 years later,

So had you brushed that under the like
you had blacked that out.

So there's and you know, I know we're going to talk
about trauma, but there are,there's a lot of studies out
there that especially withchildhood, Trump, sexual abuse
and trauma, kids, your brainwill protect you and will
completely you will forget, youwill forget and you will not

(15:45):
remember. And it's almost like,for me, once I hit that age, I
started to get a lot healthier.
And that's when my body and mybrain knew that I was in a place
and I'm, this might be a littlewoowoo for some of the
listeners, but that's okay,

we we do here. Okay, people, there is
nothing wrong with woowoo.
Sometimes science just takes abit of time to catch up with
woowoo. Yeah.

Well, so it's my body knew I was ready to process
that memory to process thattrauma, because trauma is held
in the body. But there are studyafter study after study that it
is not uncommon at all, I thinkit's like 33%, or 35% of men and

(16:40):
women that have experiencedchildhood sexual abuse. Don't
recall the memory until later onin life. Interesting. So it's a
real thing. Yeah,

yes.
And, you know, I'm sorry thatyou went through that. And I
just want to add here, that yousay that it happens with
children, and it happens withsexual abuse. And I just want to
just mention here, because weare going to talk about trauma
in a moment. My brother is inhis 70s, my oldest brother, and

(17:15):
he doesn't remember the death ofour father. My father died 30
something years ago. So mybrother would have been either
in Hughes, like, he would havebeen in his 40s, I would say,
early 40s, late 30s. And he wasthere beside me and my mom, when

(17:40):
my father passed away inhospital, and my brother to this
day does not remember beingthere.

The trauma, the trauma, and the pain. And that
is a that is a coping mechanism.
That is a real coping mechanism.
Yes. Where the memory isforgotten. Yes, because the pain
is too unbearable.

Yes. And interestingly enough, he doesn't
remember that happening. And myfather passed away from cancer.
He was very unwell. So it wasn'ta sudden death. It was a death
that we knew was coming. So formy brother, it triggered, he
doesn't remember it. And for me,it triggered an eating disorder.

(18:34):
And that's when I became bulimicwas the day that my father
passed away. So it's interestinghow a trauma can trigger so many
different reactions, based onhow we need to cope. Yeah.

Because the eating disorder too, is a numbing
mechanism. It's a way for you toto not feel, yeah, some of those
hard and awful emotions. And sothen what do we do? We go to
restriction we go to throwing upwe go to the things that will
just take us out of that awful,hard feeling. And so those are

(19:12):
numbing and coping mechanisms.
For

me, I was eating all this. I was binge
eating, because I was trying tofit to fill a void that I felt
that I had in the pit of mystomach. There was an emptiness
there that I needed to feel. Andthat's why I turned to food. And

(19:36):
then I would eat so much and Iwould be so uncomfortable. And I
would feel so guilty that Iwould then purge. Yeah, and this
is something that I did for manyyears. We won't go into that but
I just sharing this because Icompletely understand everything
that you're saying and whatpeople don't realise with

(19:57):
something like an eatingdisorder. For many, they believe
that it's to do with body image.
But it's so not it is aboutcontrol. For me, it was about
filling an emptiness. And in mystomach, I felt that emptiness
in my stomach, and thatloneliness and that grief. So

(20:17):
you know that there's more to aneating disorder than just
vanity? I'm sorry to say,Absolutely.

And I will. I do remember when I was really sick.
And this is no shame on my dad,I think men have a harder time
kind of understanding, sometimesan eating disorder. I'm not
saying all men, just the men inmy life at that time. And I
remember he took my arm and he'slike, You have to snap out of
this. And I was just like, Youhave no idea. Like, if I if I,

(20:52):
if I could just snap out ofthis, I would do that in a
heartbeat. Because it's how tobe in this place. But you're
sick. You're very sick andunwell. Like you said,

Yes. And it's very painful. Going through
that experience is reallypainful. Unlike alcohol. Unlike
gambling. Unlike being aworkaholic, you need to eat.
Yeah. So it's and so then youhave to learn to re eat again,

(21:29):
like a normal person would eatand coming to terms with the
fact that you need to put thatinto your mouth.

Yeah, yeah, you can't. Yeah, you're right. You
have to learn how to eat. Yes.
Develop a healthy relationshipwith food, which to be honest
with you. It's a it's an everevolving process for me.

Yes, yeah. I'm doing really well. But
yeah, there are times theremight be little habits that
emerge that you think, Well, youknow, I'm so routined and
structured with food, and I feelthat is my safe space. With
food. It's still controlling toa certain degree, but that's

(22:13):
okay. That's alright to be likethat. But how did yoga actually
get into that? That mindset,like, what was it about it? That
actually really started to healyou? And you realise that this
is the thing that's going tosave me?

I think that there were, you know, there's, there's
a handful of things that helpedin the process. Yoga was part of
it. I think yoga, played thebiggest part in the healing
process. It It wasn't about thephysical practice. It wasn't
about the warrior twos, or thedown dogs that really helped me

(22:59):
move through the eatingdisorder, that very dark time in
my life. It was as simple asreconnection. I reconnected with
myself again. Yes, for so manyyears, I was, again, just so
much hate towards myself, whichmakes sense now, knowing the

(23:23):
childhood trauma and hatetowards my body, that yoga
helped me feel again, itreminded me that I was alive,
that I wasn't this, you know,especially people that have gone
through trauma, you you can walkthrough life, robotically, so

(23:46):
robotically, and you get reallygood at either numbing, or
dissociating, meaning kind of,not like on attaching Yes, from
your body, and not reallyfeeling. And I did that for so
long. And so yoga reminded methat it's so simple, but that I

(24:10):
have a body have a body thatthat wants to work with me, I
have a body that loves me that Iwant to love back. And so just
that simple exercise, you know,that opened me up to so much of
like, just standing in thegrass, like realising that I
have feet like it's as simple aslike even looking down at my

(24:32):
needs, and noticing my toes. Andjust, it was it was like the
very end and people with traumaand complex trauma like that is
a big, big deal. When you startto connect back not with your
physical body, when you noticeyour body when you can feel your
body and yoga. Yoga did that forme. And so the more I began to

(24:58):
feel, the more I began to Likeactually notice that I have
sensations in my body, that Ihave a beating heart, that I can
feel warmth on my skin when I'mfeeling warm, or sometimes I
feel cold, like I can feel that,that started this journey of
then also. Okay, so I have thisbody, but I also have a soul.

(25:20):
Like I have a heart, I have asoul. And I personally believe
that each and every one of us,we have an inner child, a little
girl that is inside of thatgirl, that 12 year old for me,
she's still there, and I need totake care of her. And so just
kind of that reconnection toself. And, again, it's been such

(25:45):
a journey. But it really startedwith just my body. Yes, and
connecting with my body. Andthen it, it took me from there.
And then to be honest with younow that I have been teaching
for over 10 years, Yoga hasbecome very therapeutic for me
too, as a teacher, because I'malso as a teacher, I'm very
present when I teach verypresent with my students. And so

(26:08):
that's been in a way can be verytherapeutic as well.

Are you constantly battling with food
cravings, struggling to resisttemptation, and feel like you
just can't break the cycle?
Well, I have some fantastic newsfor you. Introducing defeat your
cravings by Dr. Glen Livingston.

(26:36):
His groundbreaking book is yourticket to finally overcoming
those relentless food urges,once and for all. And guess
what? It is absolutely free. Dr.
Livingston is a trusted friendof mine who has been on my
podcast multiple times, becauseof his wealth of knowledge in

(26:57):
this space. And for this reason,I'm especially excited that you
can access the book for free.
defeat your cravings isn't justa quick fix. Inside, you'll
delve into the science behindcravings. Learn how to
dramatically reduce giving intothose cravings by 85% or more

(27:23):
and discover powerful strategiesto think less about food and
more about life. With over 1million readers and rave reviews
from 20,000 Plus satisfiedcustomers, Dr. Livingston's
proven techniques aretransforming lives every single

(27:44):
day. Forget invasive surgeries,risky medications, or endless
therapy sessions. With defeatyour cravings. You'll develop
unwavering confidence in yourability to conquer your cravings
and achieve your ideal weightwithout the torture of dieting.

(28:06):
So why wait, don't miss out onthis life changing opportunity.
Just go to www dot defeat yourcravings.com forward slash
beyond and unlock a happier,healthier you right now. So how

(28:28):
would you describe yoga becausepeople have a lot of
misconceptions about it. That isa spiritual practice and go goes
against their religious beliefs.
There's also the misconceptionsaround you have to be flexible
and fit that you have to be somekind of tree hugger, too. So how
do you describe what yoga is?

Okay, so this is how I describe it. And this is,
this is what I believe we'vewesternised, especially like
where I'm where I live, and I'msure you guys are too. Yes, no
yoga was created 1000s of yearsago, 1000s of years ago, and it
was never a physical practice.
It was never a physicalpractice. It did not become a
physical practice until the1970s. And so it was really

(29:19):
early yoga with Yes, wow. Yogawas seated. It was paying
attention to your breath, livingin the present moment, being in
the present moment. It waslearning about yoga philosophy.
So to me, I always tell mystudents, yoga is now and what I

(29:40):
mean by that is, yoga literallyjust means being in the present
moment. So if you're riding yourbike, and you have your feet on
the pedals and you're noticingyourself riding the bike, you're
noticing your hands on thehandle Are you noticing what's
around you, the trees, all thatstuff? That's doing yoga? Sure,

(30:03):
can you do a warrior two andyou're very present in a word,
or two, and you feel your feetand your arms are out, and
you're present that's doingyoga, sitting here and talking
to you, and being really presentwith where I am and our
conversation. That's doing yoga.

(30:26):
So I get asked to me is, that'syoga, its present moment
experience. So,

would you describe that then as
mindfulness? Yeah,

I think you know, mindfulness. Yes, I would. Okay,

well, that then makes it far more
accessible for people. And ittakes the woowoo out. Yeah.
Because people think that theyhave to put on their, you know,
their active wear, go down to astudio, and, you know, go into

(31:06):
all these crazy posers to dothat. But then just that simple
idea of, okay, you you're on awalk, you're taking in your
surroundings, you'reacknowledging the things that
you're seeing, you're taking amoment to appreciate what those
things are. Yeah, taking a pauseon life. That shirt is

(31:30):
beautiful.

Yeah, and for people that want to, you know,
as far as like moving theirbody, and if they want to
experience a yoga class and andwork on, you know, yes, there's
some great like, stretches thatyou can do in yoga, there's some
great movement that you can doin yoga. So they can, you know,
you can explore that. But Ialways tell my students that I

(31:53):
teach in my yoga class, like,you could be here in my class,
doing all the poses that I'minstructing to do. But if you're
not present, then you're notdoing yoga. But let's say you
decided in my class that youjust weren't feeling great. And
all you wanted to do duringclass, as I taught up here, was

(32:15):
lay on your back and just be inShavasana. That's what we call
that final pose in yoga. If youwant to be laying on your back
the entire time. And you'rethere and you're present with
your breath. You're doing yoga.
So you decide what feels mostsupportive for you. Yes.

So listen to your body. Yes,
absolutely. Now you have astudio. And it's honest yoga
studio. Why the name honestyoga, because I see that
everywhere in your marketing,honest yoga. So yeah. Why why

(32:54):
that name? It's so unusual.

So I'm gonna just means just honest to the
practice, honest to what yoga islike we keep yoga authentic. At
our studio, we keep it honest,we keep the community that way.
You know, I think just the waythat we teach yoga, I think

(33:22):
there's an integrity to yogathat is important to uphold, in
my opinion, yes. And, and theway that we conduct our classes
at our studio, I believe that weuphold that integrity of what
yoga was created to be. Yes,there is physic. There's the

(33:43):
physical practice, because Imean, we're a yoga studio. But
we really weave in a lot ofphilosophy in the classes,
because that's a big part ofyoga, and how do we live yoga
off of our mat? Or how do welive mindfully? And so it's
really it's like, super simple,but just it's about just staying

(34:07):
truthful and honest with thepractice and what it was created
to be.

What style of yoga do you teach?
Because I know there's differentstyles. What philosophy do you
follow with your yoga studio?

Yeah, so we teach a variety of classes, we have
gentle we have restorative,that's where you just kind of
lay in these very supportivepastures. That's where my
practice is right now. I lovethat class. Very slow moving. We
do have a Vinyasa flow that's alittle bit quicker. You move

(34:44):
more like one breath to onemovement. We have Hatha Yoga
where you kind of hold poses fora little bit longer period of
time. And some of our classesare heated and some of our
classes are non heated.

Okay, because I know that he did yoga
is a big fed over here? What'sthe benefit of the heat? Because
I'm thinking, I don't like that.
I don't want to be lying thereall sweaty, when I'm already
struggling to hold a proposal gointo a pose. Yeah.

So you know, the heat. I think there's a couple
of myths around the heat. Butthere's people that love it. And
they're very loyal to theirheated practice. And a lot of
people like how it opens uptheir body, it opens up their
body more when you're in theheat. So you become more
flexible in the heat than inlike a non heated room. Okay. A

(35:38):
lot of people think that they'resweating out all these toxins.
That's a myth. Because 70% ofthe toxins that are released
from your body are releasedthrough your breath. Only 2%
Wow, are released through sweat.
And that's a study. That is thatis a that is a fact. So people

(35:58):
think that you know, and hey, ifthat works for you, and in your
mind, you're like, No, this iswhat I'm doing. I sweat out my
toxins. And you feel like thatworks for you then go with it,
by all means. But really, therelease of the toxins is through
breath. So intentional breath,work, meaning breathing in
through the nose, breathing outthrough the nose, or the mouth,

(36:21):
even if you did that, like forthree to five minutes. That's a
great way to release toxins inyour body.

So very interesting. I'll share
something with you here. And thelast few months, there's been a
lot going on in my life. AndI've been stuck in a highly
anxious mode. And I've startedto do hypnotherapy, which is
been amazing. I don't rememberthe last time I felt so calm. I

(36:55):
was in this state of calm that Ididn't even want to come back.
It was so beautiful. That'samazing. However, you're talking
about the toxins in thebreathing because there is a lot
of breath, work involved. Andtwice now, over the last couple

(37:16):
of weeks, I've had thesephysical, what would you call
them? Like these physicalreactions? Where I've had 24
hour episodes where I've beenunwell. Yeah. Yeah. And my
hypnotherapist celebrated that,like one time, I had a massive

(37:40):
headache. I felt someone hadclubbed me at the back of my
neck with a baseball bat. I wasvomiting, shivering cold, felt
that my blood pressureplummeted, and it lasted 24
hours, not as intense as thatthe whole time. And then a few
days ago, I had another 24 hourepisode where I was unwell

(38:04):
again. And it's all that stuff,or I feel like I'm having these
massive releases. So you'resharing your woowoo stuff? Well,
I think I just out woowoo

know that that's a real thing. And yes, there's
trauma, the emotions that wedon't feel or if we haven't
released the trauma in the body.
When you start to do that typeof work. It is not uncommon at
all to for people to feel worsebefore they feel better. I see
why your hypnotherapist wascelebrating that and you

(38:42):
probably were like, Oh God, Ijust not feeling good that I
don't want to celebrate this.
But yes, I did. It is it's agood thing.

What do you believe constitutes trauma
because some people just gothrough a difficult time. And
other people go, Oh, I was sotraumatised by that. But what is
trauma? Trauma

can be it can be two different things. And I do
like to describe it as there'sthe little T trauma and the big
T trauma. Big T trauma istypically it's a terrible event.
And it creates an emotionalresponse. So maybe it's a car
accident, it is the death ofsomebody it is a veteran, you
know in combat or just somebodyin war at war, just you know,

(39:29):
any horrific event that somebodyhas been through that would be
big T trauma. Yes. Now little Ttrauma. That is and I also want
to say I'm sorry, just goingback to just trauma. It doesn't
just even have to be one eventfor a lot of people it is
something that happens over aperiod of time. So for a child

(39:51):
you know if it's with a parentor dealing with an alcoholic mom
or dad, you know, there is acoping method Isn't that a child
will have to do just to survivein that environment. And so
these traumatic, there can be atraumatic event, but they're
also going to be trauma thathappens over a long period of

(40:12):
time. So it's longitudinal. Anda lot of times its relationship
is it's the trauma that'shappening over a long period of
time is usually with somebody inyour circle that you should be
able to trust. So let's thinkabout abuse, you know, or

(40:33):
emotional neglect, or somebodythat is in an abusive
relationship with a narcissistwith a narcissist, exactly. It's
somebody that should be treatingyou or somebody you should be
able to trust. And it happensover a period of time. So
there's so there's that trauma,and then the little T trauma, it

(40:54):
can be anything that affectsyour emotional response. So
trauma shows up as anxiety,prolonged anxiety, depression,
prolonged depression, panicattacks, fear, anger, OCD,

(41:15):
numbing, all of that those areall symptoms of trauma. And
we've all experienced some sortof trauma in our life. I

100% agree with you, Nicole, we can
sweep things under the rug, andpretend they haven't happened.
And I always like to say you canrun but you can't hide. And
sometimes there may be somethingthat happens in a day to day
where your response and yourreaction is so over the top, and

(41:51):
so doesn't match the incident.
And to me, I think that is oneof the signs of trauma. And
that's something that I havejust discovered recently about
myself too. And I had comeacross this little T big T way
of describing trauma not so longago. And this idea that we've

(42:13):
all been through trauma, and soit made me reflect upon my own
life. Yeah. And I started backto what I could remember, as a
child, and when you start to dothat work, there is so much to
unpack, there is so much tounpack, and we don't realise do

(42:34):
we until we start to come tothat point where we feel safe
enough to invite those memoriesback in. So then we can start
dealing with it. And I thinkthat's been part of my anxiety,
because there's things that havecome back that I totally forgot
about that were big T thingsthat I've just gone. Well, this

(43:01):
is a lot.

Yeah. And what I want to just point out here that
the work that you're doing thework, it is hard work. Yes. And
it takes somebody that isstrong, and somebody that is
brave, that is able to to workthrough those things. There's a

(43:28):
lot of people that can't,because it's hard. Yes. However,
you know, I've heard there's astigma out there. You know,
like, if you need a therapistthat you know, it's a sign of
weakness, and I always say, MyGod, if you're seeing a
therapist, it is it is a sign ofstrength, doing the
hypnotherapy, doing the traumawork. All of this if you if you

(43:52):
are going to sign up for thiswork, it is going to be hard.
But it takes strength, it takesbravery and it is so worth it.
On the other side.

Well, it's kind of like, Okay, you go
through the pain barrier, butout the other side, you you're
releasing all these shackles,you feel lighter. You do
sometimes though, the collateraldamage along the way can be the
relationships you're in. Andyeah, like right now my husband

(44:26):
is struggling with some of theways that I'm reacting to some
of his behaviour, that prior tome doing this work, I accepted.
And now I'm going this I have aboundary there. Now this is no
longer acceptable. The personthat was hanging on to that
trauma may have thought it wasokay because it was easy to

(44:49):
pretend it wasn't happening. Butnow as I release, I'm sorry,
this doesn't work for me anylonger. It's so sometimes when
you do that work, it's not onreally hard for you? And it's
also hard for the people aroundyou. Absolutely.

Because you're changing, in a sense, you know,
like setting boundaries, yourhusband is not used to that. And
so there there will absolutelywas certain people in your life
be resistant to some of thatchange. Yes. But you are
stepping into your own powerinto your own self worth and

(45:26):
saying, you know, I'm just Ihave boundaries. And that's so,
so important.

Are you ready to scale and share your
products or services globally?
Well, introducing a voice andbeyond the podcast that reaches
listeners in 99 countries across2185 cities, ranked in the top
point 5% of podcasts globally, avoice and beyond is offering you

(45:59):
an exclusive opportunity toconnect with an international
audience. This isn't just aboutadvertising. It's an exclusive
and unique chance for businessesand individuals to amplify their
message worldwide. So whetheryou're a member of the voice

(46:21):
community, a health careprofessional, and author, a
budding entrepreneur, or anestablished brand, seize the
moment to be heard where itmatters most, you can email me
on info at Dr. Marisa Leenaismith.com, or visit the link
in the show notes to learn moreabout this extraordinary

(46:44):
opportunity. Whatever you do,don't miss out on reaching our
global audience. Because yourvoice deserves to be heard
everywhere. And in your studio?
How do you create a safe spacefor the people that come in that

(47:08):
have suffered trauma themselves?
How do you do they speak up andtalk about their trauma? Or do
they know that it's a traumainformed yoga studio? How do you
create that environment forthem? Yeah,

so we don't I think most people that do have
trauma? They don't, they don'tlike to necessarily talk about
it. And or do they even knowthat they have experienced that
type of trauma or whatever it isfor them. So the way that we
create a really safe space is inour classes is it is in the way

(47:49):
that we facilitate the classesit is in how we use we're very
intentional with the languagethat we use. So the language
that we use is it's veryInvitational, so maybe you do
this, I invite you to do this.
Apps, you try this. So forsomebody that is experienced,

(48:13):
especially complex trauma orPTSD, which by the way, there's
a lot more people out there thanprobably you think that have
experienced that do have complextrauma or PTSD, a trigger for
them as having it wouldn't becoming into a yoga studio, per
se. And having a teacher tellingthem what they need to do.
Because it's again, it's it'ssomebody's in control in this

(48:36):
room, and they're telling youwhat to do. So for a lot of
people that have PTSD or complextrauma, that is a trigger. And
so they come to yoga in hopes toheal. But in turn, they're being
triggered by the language that'sbeing used in the yoga
classroom. So we really invitewe use very intentional,

(48:58):
Invitational language. And thenwe also are very big on we offer
choices. So if you think ofsomebody that has experienced
trauma, a lot of people feelstuck. Yes, feel like you don't
have a choice. And we want tomake sure that the students in
our class feel empowered to makechoices that feel supportive in

(49:22):
their body. So we do that byreminding them that they have a
body, like I was kind of talkingabout, you know how I
reconnected with my body. So weare always reminding people to
notice where their feet are.
Notice maybe can you relax yourshoulders a little bit more? Do
you feel a warmth on your body?
And that's what's calledinteroception is bringing people

(49:44):
into the present moment byencouraging them to notice their
body notice sensations in theirbody. And then based on that,
make a decision make a choice.
Remember that you have a choiceand that you're never You're
stuck. And you make that choicethat feels most supportive in

(50:05):
your body. So you're empowering,you're creating this like,
personal agency in theclassroom.

So what you are doing, I get the feeling
is that you are guiding peopletowards that choice of unlocking
what they have been throughunlocking some of that trauma,
and the language that you'reusing, essentially, in the way

(50:32):
that you're saying, how about wetry, perhaps you might like to,
as an instructor you are takingyou are not making it about you?
Yeah. Because that is kind ofthe language that I use as a
singing teacher. Because when Isay I would like you to try, I

(50:53):
want you to your make making itabout yourself, and you're not
making it about the personthat's there in front of you.
Very true. And allowing it to beabout them. Yeah. You talked
about PTSD, and complex trauma,what's the difference with those

(51:13):
and say, little t, big T? Wheredoes all that fit into those
categories?

So PTSD, is actually it's kind of complex,
but PTSD is in the DSM. So it'sin the medical book that doctors
have, right? As like a, I don'tknow, what do you I don't know
what you would call it, but aslike a an illness or an illness

(51:39):
or something. So it's Pete, itis in the DSM Doctor manual.
Yes. So when somebody comes infor you know, you kind of check
the boxes, if you will, in adoctor's office, you know, do
you have this? Do you have this?
How often do you have nightterrors. And so if you get a
certain score on this test, thentypically, you know, they'll

(52:02):
diagnose you with PTSD. And thenthere's certain services that
you could qualify for, andthings like that in the US. And
I'm not sure exactly how itworks in Australia, but I'm not
sure. So they kind of put you ina box, I guess, in a sense, it's
like a diagnosis if thediagnosis and then it's like,
okay, well, here's what you do.

(52:23):
complex trauma is not in theDSM, it was in the DSM, I
believe, for like a year or two.
And in our world, that wasreally exciting, because then
that also opened up moreservices and funding for people
that had complex trauma, becauseit was in the DSM, and then they
decided to take it out. Socomplex trauma is either you

(52:44):
experienced traumatic event, oryou've experienced longitude and
also meaning you've experiencedsome sort of trauma, abuse,
whatever it is over a longperiod of time with somebody
that is in your close innercircle, right. So complex trauma
is, in my opinion, like PTSD,but complex trauma just isn't in

(53:10):
the DSM manual. Right.

So there's maybe one box that's
missing. Yeah. And so doctorsdecide that that doesn't belong
in the family of Yeah, PTSD. Arethere certain poses, then that
you do in yoga, that eitherintentionally you incorporate
them because you feel thatthey're going to help someone

(53:36):
release a certain emotion? Or dojust allow the flow of yoga to
be what it is, and just alloweveryone's experience to be as
it's meant to be? at their ownpace? Yeah, so

that's a great question. I mean, you know,
typically, when I don't thinkI'm not knowledgeable enough
about what our emotions we'recertain emotions could be held
and how to necessarily releasethem with certain poses. But I
do when I teach a class, I havean intention of either, we're
going to work on opening up thehips today, and we're going to

(54:13):
do certain poses that supportopening up the hips. And so I
will structure a class based ondifferent parts of the body that
we want to be opening up, andthen whatever is opened up, or
whatever happens, I always say,the beginning of class, just
kind of I am open to receivetoday, whatever it is that I

(54:36):
need to receive in this class,trust that I'm receiving what I
need to receive and I amreleasing what I need to release
because for every person, it'sgoing to be different because
every person comes on to theirmat comes to their mat with a
different story, the differentbackground with all that so just
kind of let it be whatever itis, and

you'll also be gone creating a sense of
immunity. And I know that forhuman beings, we, it is a need
for us to have that. And infact, I was watching a
documentary, not so long agoabout the blue zones where

(55:18):
there's particular places in theworld where they had the most
number of centenarians. And oneof the common things, all these
countries where they had allthese people that lived well
into their hundreds, one of thethings they all had in common
was they had community, therehad a sense of community and

(55:39):
connection. So how do you createthat within your studio? And how
important do you believe thatis,

I think that is, it is so important, we are the
loneliest that we've ever beenin this world. I agree. And
what, especially from after thepandemic, to connection with
people, and scientifically and Idon't know, all the but you

(56:07):
know, there are endorphins orhormones like serotonin, I
believe it is I'm not sure ifit's dopamine, I can't remember,
like, authentic connection withanother person does create that
feel good release. And we allneed that. And so I at my
studio, I believe it's about theenergy that we put out, again, a

(56:33):
little woowoo into ourcommunity, the way that kind of
the teachers that I bring in ourteam of teachers, I believe it
starts with us. And we have areally strong bond as a group.
And the way that we teachclasses, there is an empathy,
there's a compassion, there is atrue welcome and love that comes

(56:55):
from not just me, it's it's afull blown, we got, you know, 14
people that create that, andwhat starts there, and then that
kind of trickles down, and Ileave a tract, I believe a lot
of really amazing people thatare there for very, there are a
lot of like minded people thatare there for very different,

(57:18):
different reasons, but they'reall there for kind of the same
thing. And that's just toconnect to not only connect with
themselves, but to connect withthe people around them. And is a
lot of power in community andhabit, I don't know, it's just
an amazing group.

Yes, and the world has changed, we are
lonely, because now with socialmedia now with texting rather
than when when I was growing up,you wanted to speak to someone,
you had to call them on thehouse phone, you had to go knock
on their door, there was noother way to connect with

(57:59):
anyone. So there was a lot morehuman connection. And people
would create opportunities, suchas going out as a family, things
that we don't do anymore. Yeah.
And I love that you said thatyou set the intention. When you
step into that yoga studio as aninstructor as to the way you

(58:21):
want that environment to be likeand what you're bringing, as the
person that's leading thatclass, I do something very
similar the days that I teach, Iwrite an intention of how I want
my classes to go. And if there'sa student that, for example, may

(58:43):
be a little difficult. Maybethere's, they're being a little
challenging for whatever reason,it is in that moment in time, I
set the intention that I'm goingto create a space of love. And
then I'm going to listen. AndI'm going to allow them to be

(59:05):
and I'm not going to responduntil I take a breath. And then
allow the words to come through.
Yeah. And oh my gosh, there'spower in that because it always
ends up being a great lessonwith that person. So that it's

(59:26):
not woowoo. And, you know, Iwish other people would believe
in this stuff. There's so muchpower and there is now science
behind setting intentions to andvisualisation, all of that.
Yeah.

And what I would like to add is if anybody, if
any of this is like, Oh, this isor if you don't believe in it,
or if you find yourself kind oflike, oh, this is stupid or
whatever. I would just encourageyou to lean into that. Where's
that coming from? Try it. Youknow, and I know for me there's
for a long time I just I didn'tnecessarily I I thought a lot of

(01:00:01):
different things were gooey. Anda lot of that came from my
parents and I grew up in a verystrict Catholic family. And and
I, you know, so so it was,that's where that came from. And
so I would just encourage you todig a little deeper, you know?
And where is that resistancecoming from? Yes.

Dr Marisa Lee Naismith (01:00:20):
And I would say, I'll take this a
little bit further, and I'mgoing to be really cheeky here.
Stop living in the black andwhite. There is so much fun in
all the different shades ofgrey. Try leaving in the Shades
of Grey and see I love thatsound good. So, just in wrapping

(01:00:46):
up, is there anything else thatyou'd like to add any other work
that you're doing a presentanything you'd like to promote?
Other than your fabulous studio?
Well,

Nicole Byars (01:00:56):
yeah, so I do have a book. That is yes, that is
coming out on December 1, it iscalled Living yoga, beyond the
mat. And it can be found onAmazon. And really, that book is
all about. It's an it's amemoir, slash personal
development. So it talks about Italk about very real and

(01:01:22):
vulnerable stories about me andmy life and the lessons that I
learned and, and how did I applysome of yoga philosophy that any
person if you're a human being,would want to learn how to apply
it to their life? And so Italked a little bit about that
in the book. And then there'sbreathwork, and there's
affirmations and somemeditations in the book. So

(01:01:44):
it's, it's a great guide forlearning how to be your own
source of love and support.

Wow, what was the inspiration for the
book?

You know, I, because I've always owned a yoga
studio. I've been a yoga teacherfor so many years, I wanted to
talk more about living yoga offthe mat. How do we do that? And
so that's where this inspirationcame from. And also in hopes of
reaching more people outside ofmy little bubble in Minneapolis.

(01:02:16):
Yes. To hopefully reach a lotmore people to spread this this
message. And

in you sharing your stories. Did you
find healing in that?

I did, I did until the book was published. I I had
so much vulnerability around thebook being published. And these
stories, I mean, some of themare about me drinking and
partying and sex. And I mean, Ididn't realise I was frozen for

(01:02:49):
a couple of weeks, like nottelling anybody that it was out
just like the vulnerability andthe fear of being judged was so
real. Really? Yeah.

This sounds like there was a little
bit of shame in there as well.

Yes, yes. And so I had to go through what I needed
to feel it all I needed to writeit all out, I needed to
experience all of it, and thenrelease it. And the hope is
that, you know, if you can takea little piece of wisdom, or

(01:03:24):
parts of it resonate. I justhope that, you know, I think us
women, a lot of the stories inhere, too, that I think a lot of
women will relate to. And it'salmost sometimes validating,
like, I'm not the only one, yes,thinks this or feels this way.
And so I'm hopeful that it willresonate with a lot of people.

(01:03:45):
It's

so true.
I mean, since I've been creatingthis podcast, and the things
that I've shared with people onthis platform, I would never
have thought that I would dothis in a million years. And
once you start sharing a littlebit, it makes it so much easier
to share the next little bit.

(01:04:10):
And then to the point, you'refinally Gobel I really don't
care. You know what, this is meflaws and all. I'm not going to
hide the truth here anymore. Andmy husband and my children have
found things out about me thatthey have. Yeah, yes. And that's
okay. And that, okay. And thebeautiful part about this is,

(01:04:35):
Nicole, is that I've had peoplecome to me, or write to me and
say, You know what, I can'tbelieve I've known you all this
time, even students of mine.
They've said I've known you allthis time and the way you hold
yourself in life, I would neverhave believed that you went

(01:04:57):
through all that I'm currentlygoing through this myself and
you give me hope.

Oh, so beautiful.
I know, right?

I cry for some of these messages.
Because when you do this work,it is isolating. I'm here in my
house. I have my cat here,Charlie. But if she would die,
yeah, we don't know who'slistening. And we don't know the
impact of our words. So keepdoing what you drew. And I truly
appreciate the vulnerability andyour willingness to share your

(01:05:34):
story today. It's been trulyinspiring for me, I'm so proud
of you. And I'm so happy thatyou're doing this incredible
work. Are there any final wordsor a piece of advice that you
would like to share with thelisteners in wrapping this up?
Well,

thank you for your kind words. And I have to share
this final quote from Brene.
Brown, because I think itreally, yeah, I mean, it just
was what we were talking about.
And I it's in my book, and Ijust turn to the page, because I
have to share it. So I want toend with just kind of here this
Brene Brown says, if you putshame in a petri dish, it needs

(01:06:13):
three things to growexponentially, secrecy, silence
and judgement. If you put thesame amount of shame in a petri
dish and douse it with empathy,it can't survive.

That's it. You know, Brene Brown is
amazing. Yeah, I totally relateto her. So much of the things
she talks about, totally relatewith her. And one thing that was
really interesting about her isin an interview somewhere she
shared about how lonely she isand how she travels through life

(01:06:53):
alone, because a lot of peopledon't understand. Yeah, what she
does, and when she opens upabout who she is, and the work
that she's involved in, peoplewalk away. Hmm. Very
interesting. So very, yes. Butlook, thank you so much for
sharing that, Nicole, and thankyou for your time. In this

(01:07:16):
interview, I truly appreciateyou. I'm so glad that our paths
met, even in the most random ofways, but you are you meant to
be. And thank you, too, forbeing my very first guest from
Minnesota.

Well, like I said, Thank you for having me. It was
such a fun conversation, seriousconversation, but it was real.
It was honest. So thank you.

Yes. And if ever I'm there, I'm coming to
your yoga studio.

Yes, you got to come to the yoga studio.
Absolutely.

Take care, my friend. Thank you, you
too. Thank you so much forlistening to this episode of a
voice and beyond. I hope youenjoyed it as now is an
important time for you to investin your own self care, personal
growth, and education. Use everyday as an opportunity to learn

(01:08:11):
and to grow, so you can show upfeeling empowered and ready to
live your best life. If you knowsomeone who will also be
inspired by this episode, pleasebe sure to copy and paste the
link and share it with them. Orshare it on social media and use
the hashtag a voice and beyond.
I promise you I am committed tobringing you more inspiration

(01:08:35):
and conversations just like thisone every week. And if you would
like to help me please rate andreview this podcast and cheer me
on by clicking the subscribebutton on Apple podcast right
now. I would also love to knowwhat it is that you most enjoyed
about this episode and what wasyour biggest takeaway? Please

(01:08:59):
take care and I look forward toyour company next time on the
next episode of a voice andbeyond.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

The Joe Rogan Experience

24/7 News: The Latest

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#168. Healing Through Yoga: My Journey with Trauma with Nicole Byars

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Stuff You Should Know

The Joe Rogan Experience

24/7 News: The Latest

All Episodes

#168. Healing Through Yoga: My Journey with Trauma with Nicole Byars

Stuff You Should Know