June 30, 2024 • 57 mins
Welcome to this episode on courage, a fundamental quality that drives us to lead a life of purpose and fulfillment. Life demands the best of us, challenging us to rise out of our fears and comforts into the zones of peak performance. This conversation is deeply personal to me because I believe that within every human lies an incredible capacity to be strong, push past limits, and experience a broader range of joy, health, vitality, success, and achievement.
However, many of us make excuses about why we aren't courageous or can't have what we deserve. We often fall into a victim mindset, believing that our challenges and struggles are beyond our control. This mindset holds us back from achieving our true potential.
Courage isn't just about overcoming fear. It's about tapping into those things that push us to new levels and heights, not being defined by fear. Today, I'll share five areas to evaluate your level of courage and five strategies to improve it. Think of courage as a muscle that needs consistent exercise. By repeatedly stepping out of your comfort zone, you can strengthen your courage muscle.
The life you want to live is worth the effort. While it won't be easy initially, it is possible, so challenge yourself to explore your courage. Dedicate yourself to being a courageous person and dare to live the life you've imagined. It's time to step out of the wings and take center stage in your life because you are worth the effort. Always have been and always will be. Until next time, go out there every single day and realize you are stronger than you ever imagined.
Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey that blends logic and intuition? Dr. Joyce Anastasia, an intuitive consultant with a PhD in quantum natural medicine is here to guide you. With her unique approach. Dr. Joyce bridges the gap between the intuitive and the logical, creating a paradigm shift that amplifies your impact on the world. Visit www.leadbywisdom.com and unlock your full potential today.
Are you constantly battling with food cravings, struggling to resist temptation, and feel like you just can't break the cycle? My dear friend Dr Glenn Livingston has a transformational new book that you can read for free as a listener of A Voice and Beyond. Visit www.DefeatYourCravings.com
In This Episode
0:00 - Sponsored Ad: Lead by Wisdom with Dr Joyce Anastasia
12:56 - Fear and comfort with change
17:20 - Sponsored Ad: Free Book ‘Defeat your cravings’ by Dr. Glenn Livingston
26:51 - Developing the courage to say no and prioritize goals
40:29 - Setting bigger goals, ignoring negative opinions and finding courage
46:55 Building courage, self-awareness and supportive relationships
For more, go to drmarisaleenaismith.com/170.
Like this episode? Please leave a review here - even one sentence helps!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith (00:01):
Are you ready to embark on a
transformative journey thatblends logic and intuition? Dr.
Joyce Anastasia, an intuitiveconsultant with a PhD in quantum
natural medicine is here toguide you. With her unique
approach. Dr. Joyce bridges thegap between the intuitive and
(00:26):
the logical, creating a paradigmshift that amplifies your impact
on the world. Through her WisdomTeachings and effective natural
processes, Dr. Joyce evokes yourgreatest strength and unlocks
transformational possibilities.
Her services include quantum andremote healing, past life
(00:49):
regression, divine intuitivesessions, Dream exploration, and
ethical manifestation fromvision to reality. Imagine
shifting from feeling oppressedand controlled to embracing
vulnerability and authenticity,transition from fear to courage,
(01:11):
from overwhelmed to peace ofmind, feel empowered to make
those formidable decisions tocreate optimal outcomes with no
harm. Dr. Joyce helps youidentify and overcome limiting
beliefs through integrativeworks that span many traditions,
(01:33):
recognising and celebrating theuniqueness in each one of us. In
a safe and confidentialenvironment, Dr. Joyce provides
support for those in high levelsof leadership and academia. With
her guidance, you can drop theneed for control, make powerful
(01:55):
decisions and to have thecourage to discover what's
possible for you. Takeresponsibility for your life and
find peace with Dr. Joyce,Anastasia, unlock your potential
and start your journey towards amore conscious and empowered
life today. So if you're readyto drop the control file, go to
(02:19):
www.leadbywisdom.com. and unlockyour full potential.
It's Marissa Lee here, and I'mso excited to be sharing today
solo round episode with you.
Whether you're a member of thevoice, community, or beyond your
(02:42):
voice is your unique gift. Andmy mission, which has been
inspired by my own personal andprofessional journey is to
empower you to share your giftwith others. Now is the time for
you to discover your voice inlife, develop a positive mindset
(03:03):
and become the best and mostauthentic version of yourself to
create greater impact.
Ultimately, you can take charge,and you can become the director
of your own life. It's time foryou to live your best life. It's
(03:26):
time now for a voice and beyond.
So without further ado, let's goto today's episode.
Life demands the best of us. Itchallenges us to rise out of our
(03:47):
fears, out of our comforts, andinto the zones of our peak
performance. I love thisconversation because I believe
that in every human there is anincredible capacity to be
strong, to push past one'slimits to experience a broader
(04:08):
range of joy, health, vitality,success, and achievement.
However, most people maketerrible excuses about why
they're not courageous, why theycan't have what they deserve,
(04:29):
about why all the challenges andthe struggles in their lives are
not of their own doing and areliving in victim mode over their
struggles and all of these canend up holding us all back. I
believe that Courage isn't justa conversation about fear.
(04:54):
Courage is not just aboutovercoming fear. It's about
tapping into those things thatbroaden us, that push us to new
levels and to new heights in ourlives that are not defined by
fear. So I hope that you willenjoy this audio session on
(05:18):
courage. And I hope that youwill listen to it over and over
and over again. So, let's jumpright into it. I'm going to
share with you five areas whereyou can measure the level of
courage in your life right now.
And then I'll share with you thefive things you can do to
(05:42):
improve further in this area ofyour life. Each of these
measurements is always aboutyou, rating yourself on a scale
of one to 10. So let's get toit. Come on now.
(06:08):
Number one, expression, howoften do you feel that you're
expressing your true self to theworld? And is that with real
depth and courage andconsistency? And when I say
Express, I mean, does yourfamily and do your friends, and
(06:32):
do your peers and yourcolleagues know the real you
have you verbalise to them in nouncertain terms, what you
believe to be true? What youwant in your life, what you
need, what things you're happywithin your life, and the things
(06:56):
that you're not happy with? Doyou tell them about the life you
dream of? Have you been honestwith the people around you? Have
you express yourself in waysthat you feel is authentic? for
who you are? Have you felt likeyou're being spontaneous with
(07:19):
the people around you? I callall of that expression. And it's
how you express yourself withtrue authenticity, and
consistency and bravery. It'sabout the ways in which you
truly express yourself, or areyou on the opposite range of all
(07:44):
of that? Do you feel like yourexpression is a level one, if
it's a level one, that means youlive in silence, you're not
showing the world who you trulyare. You're not being authentic
and real with others. You feelas though you have to put this
(08:09):
mask on to fit in, to beaccepted or loved in the way you
want to be. A true measurementof lack of courage, it's when
you're not being true toyourself, and not showing up in
life as who you truly are, andnot telling others what to you
(08:32):
are truly thinking or whatyou're truly feeling when you
desire something. You are notbeing honest with yourself and
with those around you. Iunderstand, you know, I've been
there. Often, it's hard toexpress who you truly are.
(08:54):
Because perhaps you feel downand out. So you just put on a
happy face for everyone aroundyou. And you don't want to share
your real thoughts and feelings.
Yes, I have been there. When myfirst husband died. Many years
ago. I wanted people around me Ineeded people around me. I was
(09:17):
scared of being alone. So I puton a brave face to the world. I
thought that people wouldn'twant to be around someone who
was constantly sad, and feelingthat tremendous loss. I was not
truly expressing myself to theworld. So I do understand, but I
(09:40):
was not expressing myself withauthenticity. I lacked courage
to do so. Okay, so where are youright now with expression. One
means means that you don'texpress with others, and you
(10:01):
live in silence. So noexpressing who you are. Or are
you attend, which means that youare authentic, effervescent,
spontaneous, true and honest.
And Now ask yourself, why? Whydid I give myself that number?
(10:27):
And how could I improve on it?
And allow yourself to say, Don'tI deserve to improve that
number? Isn't life about showingup as who I truly am? Aren't I
good enough, just as I am, tellyourself no more hiding, no more
(10:47):
fearing, it's time for me toshow up, and to show people who
I truly am. And to express whatI truly want. You deserve that.
It's the main motivation ofhumankind, to be free in who we
really are, and to pursue freelywhat we truly desire. And if
(11:12):
we're not doing those things, wewill lose our motivation in
life. Number two is awareness.
You have to be aware of yourfears. So the second area I want
you to measure is your awarenessof what it is you actually doubt
(11:36):
and fear. This means reallyknowing what's holding you back.
The thing is, if you'recompletely oblivious to watch
you're afraid of, then you'renever going to be able to push
past what you're afraid of. Ifyou don't know where you're
(11:57):
doubting yourself or delaying inlife, then you don't know where
the handbrake is being appliedto your life. So think about it.
What do you fear? What do youdoubt? Where do you delay? And
(12:18):
if you don't know, then perhapsyou're just not self aware. It's
important that we all know thethings that bring us anxiety,
the things that make us a littlescared, or those things that
make us doubt ourselves, or holdus back. This makes total sense.
(12:42):
How can you overcome your fears,if you don't know what they are.
And if we don't know what thoseare, then we have not done the
work of reflecting on our lives.
Because let's face it, everyhuman being has fear, whether
they want to admit it or not.
(13:04):
Very rarely does a person nothave fear. You know, I remember
one of my fears used to be assilly as I used to have a fear
of making a big career shift. Iam going to go from being a full
time performer to a full timeteacher, a mentor and a coach. I
(13:29):
told myself, that's going totake me away from my art and my
creativity and my talents, I'mgoing to lose my identity. And
that was a real fear. And I hadto be aware of that, as I was
transitioning across careers, ifI didn't understand fear, and
(13:52):
that it's a normal thing tofeel, I would have kept limiting
my personal and professionalgrowth. But once I became aware
of that fear, and I normalisedthat fear, I would just look at
it, accept it for what it wasnot judge myself for it. But
(14:13):
most importantly, not let itstop me. I would check in with
that consistently. Because I wasaware that fear was my automatic
response. And my automaticresponse would be me in flight
mode.
But I didn't run away, proudly.
I've gone on to have a highlysuccessful teaching career that
(14:37):
has led to so many amazingthings. So do you feel like
you're aware of the things thatare holding you back? Let's
raise your awareness. If you'recompletely oblivious, that's a
one. And if you're absolutelysure of all The things that are
(14:59):
holding you back, and you knowwhy you have those fears, and
where they've come from? Andwhat's making you doubt
yourself? Or what's making youdelay, then you are a 10. And
don't forget to ask yourself,why you've scored yourself this
way? Why did I give myself thatnumber? And even more
(15:22):
importantly, how can I improveon it, you might find that if
you take the time to acknowledgeyour fear, and understand why
it's there, that you will findways to overcome it, or dare I
say, be courageous in spite ofit. Number three, this third
(15:43):
category is change. Let me askyou, How comfortable are you
with change. Some people simplydon't deal with change at all,
while others get bored, and theyneed that kind of stimulation
one gets from change, and theyfeel us in this area of their
(16:06):
lives. So how do you rate yourcomfort level with change? One
is not comfortable at all, or 10is like no problems. I make
changes in my life, like Ichange my underwear. This means
it's easy for you, it's noproblem. You're very adaptable,
(16:30):
you're very flexible, you'revery open to going with the
flow. Perhaps you've beenthrough a lot. And you realise
that in life, there is ebb andflow. You understand that life
throws challenges at us so wecan learn and grow. And with
that comes change. when lifethrows you a bunch of
(16:56):
challenges, you understand that?
This is life, boss tracking yourgrowth. This makes you resilient
to change. But the more yougrow, the more and more comfort
you feel, and the more and morecertainty you feel around
(17:17):
change.
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(19:28):
those who lack courage are oftenmost fearful of change. And
those go hand in hand. Much ofcourage is really about just
moving forward in life. So whereare you with this? A one or a
10? And so why do you rateyourself the way you do around
(19:54):
your ability to change hasSomething happened in the past
where something dramaticallychanged in your life, or you
suffered loss, or there washardship or disappointment that
came with that. And being awareof those things, it allows us
(20:15):
now to look at change from adifferent perspective. Perhaps
you don't fear change at all.
Perhaps you even thrive onchange. And I know people like
this. Your attitude is, well,what if I do change? I learned
(20:37):
something from it. And I enjoyedthe process of change. I don't
hate it. And I don't fear it.
And things do turn out betterfor me, because I've got good
intention around it. I have avision for my future. And I
pursue it with dedication andpersistence. So you travel
(20:58):
through life with the courage tochange the things you need to
change. But if you need tochange direction in your life,
have you gotten busy with thetask of looking at what it is
you truly want to do? Or lookingfor that new job?
(21:19):
What about the career change youso badly? Want? Isn't it time
you made that move? Isn't ittime you say yes to change?
Number four? Trying again, whenyou fail? Do you pick yourself
(21:41):
up? Dust yourself off? And tryagain? Do you get back on the
horse? Do you look for adifferent way of approaching
things? Are you flexible andadaptive to dealing with the
same problem? Or are you one ofthose people who starts avoiding
(22:03):
that problem? Just because thefirst time you tried, it didn't
work? So now, the thing thatdidn't work out for the first
time, that thing you really wantto do in life so badly is on the
backburner and you avoid it. Ifyou're someone who absolutely
(22:24):
will not try again, when youfail, you get a one in this
rating. However, if you keep atit, you try hard at it, you
persist, you're resilient, thenit's a 10 I think it's a really
important thing to understandwhen it comes to courage is that
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willingness to try again, evenwhen you do fail, you can say to
yourself, well, things didn't goso well. They didn't go as
planned. And hey, it's okay.
Let's try again. Yep. Let's tryagain. It's amazing what you can
achieve when you try again, andyou stick with it. Let's use my
(23:11):
social reels as an example.
Those are now all one takewonders. But I remember the
first time I had to shoot a oneminute video. It took me three
hours, three hours to shoot aone minute video. It was awful.
(23:35):
I sounded awful. It was like analien talking. That's crazy. I
was so embarrassed. I couldn'tget the words out and I was
trying to memorise things I hadscripted. And that didn't work
either. So then I tried to readthe script directly. I was so
(23:59):
awkward in front of the camera,and I had no clue what I was
doing. So I tried again. And Itried again. And I tried again.
And you know, my videos havegotten better gradually over
time. By trying again. They justgot a little better, a little
(24:24):
better, and a little better. Andnow it's all done in one take no
script, no perfection here atall. But there's something I can
be proud of. That's because Ikept trying again. And it took a
level of courage and dedicationto do that. I suppose it's
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difficult to be vulnerable andto know that you're not doing a
good job and to say, no matterwhat, I'm going to stick with
it. It takes courage. and ittakes not giving up. So in the
trying again department, how doyou rate? One means you don't
(25:11):
ever try again? Or are you that10? Because you don't ever quit?
Ask yourself, why do you quit?
Or if you're a 10? How did youdevelop that practice of trying
again? What was it in your lifethat has triggered either
(25:31):
response? Awareness is alwaysthe first step to courage, but
it's also the first step towardstaking centre stage in your
life. Number five, this lastmeasurement of courage, is how
long are you willing to endurehardship and struggle? You know,
(25:53):
endurance is a big measurementof courage, because it's so easy
to quit. It's easy to let go ofdiscomfort, it's easy to say,
You know what, this is not goingwell. I'm out of here. And I'm
just not trying again. In life,it's about endurance. We talk
(26:16):
about honouring the strugglewhen it's not going so well.
There can be hardship in thejourney. So how long will you
endure the hardship? It's a partof courage to be able to push
through those things that bringus discomfort, or struggle, or
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hardship, and keep at it overand over again, until we develop
mastery over it. This is soimportant. Now, some people,
they endure the struggleforever. But they endure the
struggle in silence. They neverasked for help. They don't ask
(27:01):
for that support. They mayendure a struggle, but they're
doing the wrong thing. Orthey're going about things in
the wrong way. But they don'tadjust or adapt their behaviour.
They don't try again, they don'tchange. They don't know what's
(27:22):
holding them back. They don'texpress their hardship, and walk
through life trying to portraythemselves as some kind of hero.
But when I say enduring thestruggle, I mean, being okay
with discomfort andvulnerability, long enough to
(27:44):
reach your dreams. So let's rateyou on this. If you won't endure
the struggle, you're a one. Thatmeans you're just not
comfortable with discomfort.
You're 10. If you're consistent,and you're vibrant, even through
(28:07):
the struggle, you recognise itfor what it is, and you honour
it as part of the process.
So with those five categories,the maximum number of points
possible is 50. That would meanyour 10 in all those categories,
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self expression, awareness ofyour fear or doubts or delays,
your comfort and willingness tochange, your ability to try
again and again, and yourendurance to struggle. If you
didn't get a 50 We have to getyou up into that higher range.
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Don't despair. This is alifetime journey. It's not easy.
It's challenging. We all have towork on these things, and have
the courage to make change,right? Life is difficult, and
it's difficult during all stagesof life. It takes a lot of
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courage to get up again. Sohonour that journey. And let's
begin. What could you do toimprove the level of courage in
your life? I'm going to help youhere. First thing is, number
one, start saying no more often.
The number one failed point ofcourage is our inability to say
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no to others, saying no todistraction, saying no to
opportunities that may appear tobe good on the surface. And
they're positive, but they'renot truly aligned with where You
need to be in your life as youmove forward. It's being able to
say no to people who treatothers poorly. This is a vital,
(30:07):
vital area of life. I think ourability to say no is ultimately
one of the most importanttrades. We need to take our
lives to the next level. Believeit or not, we must be able to
say no. And I mean no todistraction. Saying no to
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distraction has also been a hugelearning curve in my life. I
have lots of distractions in mylife. And I've had to teach
myself that my first response tonew opportunities must be a no.
And then I must be able toconvince myself why it must be a
(30:55):
yes. For many of us, we want tosay yes, and accept everything
that comes our way, as we vieweverything that comes our way as
an opportunity. But that's whatgets us in trouble, especially
because high achievers tend tobe talented at everything. They
(31:16):
tend to work hard, and theysucceed at everything. So they
say yes, and they'll do great.
But then they spread themselvestoo thin. They burn out, and
they find themselves doing 10million things, but only three
(31:39):
of them really well. So I teachmy clients to say no to
everything. First up, and that'sstep one, say no to everything.
Step two is make the case forwhy you should say yes. Is this
task, important to your abilityto reach your goals? Is this
(32:04):
going to improve your life? doesit align with your core values
and where you see yourself inthe next five years? But that
case has to be solid? Step threeis really evaluate that case?
Are you really keepingperspective on this? Are you
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taking a real passionate andemotional view? Or a practical
one? What are the repercussionsand the consequences of taking
this thing on? And that's alldifficult work? And it takes
courage to say no. But those whodo and do it well, and do it
(32:52):
consistently. This allows themto say yes, more to the things
that are right for them. Thethings that are important to
them. Now is the time to learnto ask. Ask for the things that
you need. If you've ever beenafraid to ask for help, because
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of fear that you may seem weak.
You're not the only one. I thinkthis is kind of human nature.
It's a sad irony that it'sduring the times we need most
help, that we don't have thecourage to ask for it. Usually,
when we're in serious need ofhelp, we are living a fear based
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life. We often have little or noconfidence in ourselves, and
we're afraid of how others willperceive us. Most of us will not
have the courage to open up andfeel even more vulnerable to ask
for help when it's needed.
(34:02):
We all need to learn that it'sokay to need help and to ask for
it. Even Good leaders know thatby asking for help. This is not
a sign of weakness, but rather asign of courage. In fact, when
leaders can't admit they needhelp, that lack of humility
(34:26):
actually becomes an obstaclethat hinders progress, and
success outcomes. Every goodleader has their tribe.
Sometimes we're ashamed to seekhelp. We're afraid of hearing
those crushing words. You know,you made your bed now you lie in
(34:48):
it. Or I told you so. Or evenworse when people say Serves you
right. So we'd rather not speakup The possibility of seeming
needy or even being rejected.
And to reach out to ask for helpwhen we need it takes so much
courage. But then look at itthis way, by asking others for
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help. When times are tough,gives others the opportunity to
ask for help themselves if theyever needed in the future. Those
that you seek help from may needit themselves one day, think
about it, so everyone is betteroff. So whether you need someone
(35:35):
to lend you a hand, or you justneed to borrow an ear, consider
this. By having the courage toask for help. You're not putting
others out, you're pulling themup. The important thing here is
that none of us have to do lifealone. Once you find your tribe,
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and those people you connectwith in life, your life is much
richer for it. Cultivate yournetwork and your relationships.
Serve surround yourself withrole models of quietly
courageous people. Work atbuilding those relationships,
(36:19):
invest time and energy intoothers, and they will do the
same for you. There will betimes in your life, when you
will need to confide in someoneyou trust. Give yourself
permission to ask for help. Askfor what you really need and
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become more consistent withthis. It's time to unlock the
journey of courage. Numberthree, set bigger goals. Have
the courage to set those biggergoals. Your courage is really
reflected in your goals. This isan unknown truth. If I talk with
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someone, and they have no goals,I'm sorry to say they have no
courage. They probably have onceand desires. But they never set
a goal that is beyondthemselves. And so that part of
their coverage is not beingamplified. Look, I do put myself
out there. And sometimes I askedmyself, What the hell were you
(37:33):
thinking? But that's meant thatI've set some big ticket goals.
And I've had to amp up mycourage at times 100 fold.
There's been times before I'vehad to get up and give a
presentation at an internationalconference or release a new
(37:55):
product that I think to myself,were you crazy to put yourself
up for this? And then when itall goes well, I think Well, now
that I know I can do that thing.
It will be easier next time. Andthen I also ask, well, what's
(38:18):
the next level for me? Becauseif I can do this, I can do
anything I put my mind to. Andthat's how you feel when you
achieve something that's on agrand scale. It really empowers
you. It really helps you step upin terms of courage to achieve
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the next biggest thing in yourlife. Some of you may say, Ah,
everybody is on this treadmillfor wanting more. And they're
always wanting more and more andmore. What a terrible way to
live. Isn't that horrible? And Isay no to that. What a great way
(39:04):
to live. Of course we all wantmore. It may be you want to
deepen your love and yourrelationship with your wife,
your husband, your kids, yourcommunity, your present moment.
But more here is not the enemyclearly. You may want to have
(39:27):
more connection with thispresent moment more than before.
That's not a negative ambition.
More is a good thing. When itcomes at a cost or a compromise
in your other goals you want toachieve or at the cost of your
health. That is the problem.
(39:49):
That's a huge problem. When itbecomes a conflict of interest,
or a challenge, or causes youproblems in other areas. of your
life, that is a bad thing forsure. But for most people, they
truly need to set bigger goals.
This would require them toanalyse what they really want,
(40:12):
and to evaluate what is rightfor them and dare to dream
again, to access that greatervision and the strength that
they need to get inspired.
That's a positive thing. Solet's set bigger goals. What do
(40:32):
you say? And you know what,there are so many areas of your
life where you can set biggergoals. Are you ready to scale
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(42:01):
global audience. Because yourvoice deserves to be heard
everywhere.
So what are your big ticketgoals? It does take courage to
do something big. Can youimagine the courage it took for
JFK to say we're going to landon the moon? That was a big
(42:27):
goal, an absolute almostimpossible goal, but they made
it happen. And what about ElonMusk, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and
the things that they've achievedthat were massive goals. And I
know you have made a lot ofgoals happen in your life. Even
if it wasn't putting a man onthe moon. It's not about that.
(42:49):
It's just that sometimesreaching that higher level of
performance, that biggermilestone, accessing that state
of getting excited, like reallyexcited about something changes
our perspective about life.
Again, this requires a newchallenge. So go and set that
(43:09):
for yourself. Give yourself thegift of new challenges, the gift
of bigger goals, it's time foryou to give yourself that push
again. It's okay. That push is apart of courage. And it's time
to start flexing your muscles interms of courage, the more you
(43:33):
push, the stronger those musclesbecome. And number four, stop
living your life to the standardof others. We talked about
having the courage to say no.
And in order to do that, youmust stop living your life to
(43:57):
the standard of others. Everyonehas an opinion, oh my gosh,
don't they want. And at timespeople may have your best
interest at heart. But thenthere are times they don't. Even
those who do have your bestinterest at heart may not truly
understand what makes you happyand fulfilled in your life. So
(44:21):
you have to have the courage notto listen to others and stop
trying to live to theirexpectations. I'm here to tell
you that the opinions of otherpeople don't matter. Unless it's
coming from someone you trulylove, or highly respect or
someone who is your mentor orsomeone who is very successful
(44:45):
and is achieving the very thingyou're aspiring to do in your
future. Why would you listen tothose who live in the cheap
seats? Who were throwing cheapshots at you? Listen, if they're
doing this to you They're doingit to others. Yes, this may
sound a little harsh. Butsometimes those people you find
(45:08):
the most intimidating, areusually full of huff and puff.
It's usually a smokescreen fortheir own insecurities. They
like to bring others down tobuild themselves up. I know many
people like this, they'veprobably never done what you're
(45:30):
doing themselves. And they'rethe ones who are making the most
noise about it. If that's thecase, they have no right to do
that. They're nothing butschoolyard bullies living in the
cheap seats of life, it's mostlikely, they have never had the
courage themselves to ventureout in the true arena of life.
(45:55):
And until they do, they have notearned the right to pass
judgement. So don't allow othersto make you fearful of
expressing your true self to theworld. Some people may even be
jealous of you. And theythemselves are afraid of your
(46:15):
success, and more than happy tooffer you the wrong advice. So
don't pay attention to thosetypes of people. And don't even
worry about proving them wrong,because that's creating a
negative energy. It's nothelping you step up your
courage. So don't spend all yourtime trying to make everyone
(46:38):
happy, because it's simply notpossible. It's a reminder that
it's simply not possible toplease everyone. And the sooner
you realise that, the sooner youwill have the courage to do
whatever you believe is right.
And whatever you believe isfair. It's time to focus on you
and what you want. I understandall about this, because as a
(47:04):
child, and a woman growing up inthe Italian community, I came to
the realisation that I couldn'tlive my life to the standards of
that culture. I realised that tobe my true self. And to live my
most authentic life. I neededlike minded people around me who
(47:26):
honoured the same values.
Creating those communities givesus the support to face
challenges and to face fear. Itis so much easier to be
courageous when we have support.
To apply this in our own lives,we must examine our
(47:47):
relationships, and distinguishbetween those that are toxic
from those people who sharesimilar values. Those courageous
values such as kindness,vulnerability, optimism, and
empathy. It's time to startinviting those like minded
(48:08):
people into your life. Thiscould be a compassionate family
member, a friend, a coach, or atherapist who provides the
support and perspective you needto persevere during difficult
times. Sometimes, just havingsomeone listened to you helps
(48:29):
immeasurably. So make an effortto spend time with these types
of people. A relationship with apositive, caring person is one
of the best ways to reduce fearand build courage. Stick with
those who build you up and nottear you down. And then number
(48:53):
five, is have the courage inevaluating yourself. This is a
great one to finish up on, is toget you to rate yourself, right?
A lot of people lack the courageto do a self analysis because
they don't want to see the badstuff. They want to look at
(49:15):
themselves through a smokescreen and don't want to look at
themselves as they truly are.
They don't want to admit whenthey feel shame about their
actions and they don't want tolook at themselves when they've
failed and analyse why it'shappened. Because what they try
(49:36):
to do is to distract themselvesfrom having that tough
conversation with themselves.
They're not being honest. Whenthey ask themselves, how am I
really going? How am I reallydoing here? You know, I'm so
lucky to work with many verytalented performers and
(49:59):
creatives. And you know, theones that I see getting ahead
are the ones who are reallycurious about their own
thoughts, their own emotions andtheir own behaviours. Their
curiosity in these areas areequal to the curiosity they have
about their bank balances, ortheir audience reviews or their
(50:23):
last performance. They'recomfortable getting feedback
from other people, which I know.
And, you know, really kind ofsucks at times. Sometimes
getting that honest feedbackfrom other people is not such a
(50:43):
feel good situation. But realself courage is having the
ability to look at oneself, andto be able to say, Yeah, I was
not a good person in thatsituation, I should have done
better, I could do better. It'sallowing yourself to be the
(51:06):
observer in your life. It's notabout hating yourself, or
getting down on yourself. It'snot to beat yourself up. But
when you evaluate yourself, it'sto help you institute a new
thought, a new emotion, orperhaps a new behaviour. What
(51:30):
areas can you do better in anddoing it without self hatred or
self pity or blaming others?
It's just about using theevaluation process to challenge
yourself to do better. That'sthe kind of courage I'm talking
about, to evaluate oneselfopenly with love. You know, I
(51:53):
laugh when I suck on video. Ilaugh when I make a mistake on
stage.
I laugh when I don't do good,it's challenging. But I've
learned to laugh at off. Ievaluate myself constantly. I'm
(52:15):
always evaluating my level ofenergy and performance in life
every day. And that's important.
It's made me who I am today. AsI'm doing this audio, I'm
evaluating myself. Not in waysthat limit me, but in ways that
I just check in. How's thisfeeling? What am I saying what's
(52:38):
going on here? You know, thisparticular section has been hard
for me because my voice isacting out. I've been speaking
so much, that my voice is alittle fatigued and doesn't have
the energy I wanted to have. SoI don't feel like I'm speaking
the way I would usually, as muchas I would like this not to be
(53:02):
happening. I don't beat myselfup for it. I'm just aware of it.
So it allows me to perform alittle better. It gives me that
courage to say, you know, I'mnot doing as well as I want to.
But let's set the challenge formyself here.
(53:32):
I hope that all of these areasfrom saying no, to asking for
what you really want and havingthe courage to ask for support,
to setting bigger goals toevaluating yourself. Don't bring
you discomfort or fear. Think ofcourage as a muscle. As I said
(53:54):
earlier, and keep working onbuilding your courage muscle,
you build muscle by doing thesame action repetitively. So
when it comes to courage, it'sall about you pushing yourself
to step outside of your comfortzone consistently. You only have
(54:16):
one chance at this life, so it'sworth it. With that question the
Life You Want To Live is worththe effort. It is possible but
it won't be easy initially toachieve. But I know you're
willing to fight for it. Witheach action of courage, standing
(54:37):
up for what you value, speakingout for those who don't have a
voice taking action when toomany people are afraid to step
in and help. You are not onlycreating a better life for
yourself and for those who lovebut others you may not even know
about in your community as youbegin to live more religiously
(55:00):
in your life. Know that youractions speak volumes. Now is
the time more than ever to stepup your courage. Challenge
yourself to look at your lifeand explore your own courage.
Until next time, go out thereevery single day of your life,
(55:23):
realise you are stronger thanyou ever imagined. Dedicate
yourself to being a courageousperson. And as always, dare to
live the life you imagined. It'stime to step out of those wings
and take centre stage in yourlife. Because you are worthy,
(55:47):
you are worth the effort. Alwayshave been and always will be.
Thank you so much for listeningto this episode of a voice and
beyond. I hope you enjoyed it asnow is an important time for you
to invest in your own self care,personal growth and education.
(56:12):
Use every day as an opportunityto learn and to grow so you can
show up feeling empowered andready to live your best life. If
you know someone who will alsobe inspired by this episode,
please be sure to copy and pastethe link and share it with them.
Or share it on social media anduse the hashtag a voice and
(56:36):
beyond. I promise you I amcommitted to bringing you more
inspiration and conversationsjust like this one every week.
And if you would like to help meplease rate and review this
podcast and cheer me on byclicking the subscribe button on
Apple podcast right now. I wouldalso love to know what it is
(56:59):
that you most enjoyed about thisepisode and what was your
biggest takeaway? Please takecare and I look forward to your
company next time on the nextepisode of a voice and beyond.
Are you ready to embark on a
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It's Marissa Lee here, and I'mso excited to be sharing today
solo round episode with you.
Whether you're a member of thevoice, community, or beyond your
(02:42):
voice is your unique gift. Andmy mission, which has been
inspired by my own personal andprofessional journey is to
empower you to share your giftwith others. Now is the time for
you to discover your voice inlife, develop a positive mindset
(03:03):
and become the best and mostauthentic version of yourself to
create greater impact.
Ultimately, you can take charge,and you can become the director
of your own life. It's time foryou to live your best life. It's
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time now for a voice and beyond.
So without further ado, let's goto today's episode.
Life demands the best of us. Itchallenges us to rise out of our
(03:47):
fears, out of our comforts, andinto the zones of our peak
performance. I love thisconversation because I believe
that in every human there is anincredible capacity to be
strong, to push past one'slimits to experience a broader
(04:08):
range of joy, health, vitality,success, and achievement.
However, most people maketerrible excuses about why
they're not courageous, why theycan't have what they deserve,
(04:29):
about why all the challenges andthe struggles in their lives are
not of their own doing and areliving in victim mode over their
struggles and all of these canend up holding us all back. I
believe that Courage isn't justa conversation about fear.
(04:54):
Courage is not just aboutovercoming fear. It's about
tapping into those things thatbroaden us, that push us to new
levels and to new heights in ourlives that are not defined by
fear. So I hope that you willenjoy this audio session on
(05:18):
courage. And I hope that youwill listen to it over and over
and over again. So, let's jumpright into it. I'm going to
share with you five areas whereyou can measure the level of
courage in your life right now.
And then I'll share with you thefive things you can do to
(05:42):
improve further in this area ofyour life. Each of these
measurements is always aboutyou, rating yourself on a scale
of one to 10. So let's get toit. Come on now.
(06:08):
Number one, expression, howoften do you feel that you're
expressing your true self to theworld? And is that with real
depth and courage andconsistency? And when I say
Express, I mean, does yourfamily and do your friends, and
(06:32):
do your peers and yourcolleagues know the real you
have you verbalise to them in nouncertain terms, what you
believe to be true? What youwant in your life, what you
need, what things you're happywithin your life, and the things
(06:56):
that you're not happy with? Doyou tell them about the life you
dream of? Have you been honestwith the people around you? Have
you express yourself in waysthat you feel is authentic? for
who you are? Have you felt likeyou're being spontaneous with
(07:19):
the people around you? I callall of that expression. And it's
how you express yourself withtrue authenticity, and
consistency and bravery. It'sabout the ways in which you
truly express yourself, or areyou on the opposite range of all
(07:44):
of that? Do you feel like yourexpression is a level one, if
it's a level one, that means youlive in silence, you're not
showing the world who you trulyare. You're not being authentic
and real with others. You feelas though you have to put this
(08:09):
mask on to fit in, to beaccepted or loved in the way you
want to be. A true measurementof lack of courage, it's when
you're not being true toyourself, and not showing up in
life as who you truly are, andnot telling others what to you
(08:32):
are truly thinking or whatyou're truly feeling when you
desire something. You are notbeing honest with yourself and
with those around you. Iunderstand, you know, I've been
there. Often, it's hard toexpress who you truly are.
(08:54):
Because perhaps you feel downand out. So you just put on a
happy face for everyone aroundyou. And you don't want to share
your real thoughts and feelings.
Yes, I have been there. When myfirst husband died. Many years
ago. I wanted people around me Ineeded people around me. I was
(09:17):
scared of being alone. So I puton a brave face to the world. I
thought that people wouldn'twant to be around someone who
was constantly sad, and feelingthat tremendous loss. I was not
truly expressing myself to theworld. So I do understand, but I
(09:40):
was not expressing myself withauthenticity. I lacked courage
to do so. Okay, so where are youright now with expression. One
means means that you don'texpress with others, and you
(10:01):
live in silence. So noexpressing who you are. Or are
you attend, which means that youare authentic, effervescent,
spontaneous, true and honest.
And Now ask yourself, why? Whydid I give myself that number?
(10:27):
And how could I improve on it?
And allow yourself to say, Don'tI deserve to improve that
number? Isn't life about showingup as who I truly am? Aren't I
good enough, just as I am, tellyourself no more hiding, no more
(10:47):
fearing, it's time for me toshow up, and to show people who
I truly am. And to express whatI truly want. You deserve that.
It's the main motivation ofhumankind, to be free in who we
really are, and to pursue freelywhat we truly desire. And if
(11:12):
we're not doing those things, wewill lose our motivation in
life. Number two is awareness.
You have to be aware of yourfears. So the second area I want
you to measure is your awarenessof what it is you actually doubt
(11:36):
and fear. This means reallyknowing what's holding you back.
The thing is, if you'recompletely oblivious to watch
you're afraid of, then you'renever going to be able to push
past what you're afraid of. Ifyou don't know where you're
(11:57):
doubting yourself or delaying inlife, then you don't know where
the handbrake is being appliedto your life. So think about it.
What do you fear? What do youdoubt? Where do you delay? And
(12:18):
if you don't know, then perhapsyou're just not self aware. It's
important that we all know thethings that bring us anxiety,
the things that make us a littlescared, or those things that
make us doubt ourselves, or holdus back. This makes total sense.
(12:42):
How can you overcome your fears,if you don't know what they are.
And if we don't know what thoseare, then we have not done the
work of reflecting on our lives.
Because let's face it, everyhuman being has fear, whether
they want to admit it or not.
(13:04):
Very rarely does a person nothave fear. You know, I remember
one of my fears used to be assilly as I used to have a fear
of making a big career shift. Iam going to go from being a full
time performer to a full timeteacher, a mentor and a coach. I
(13:29):
told myself, that's going totake me away from my art and my
creativity and my talents, I'mgoing to lose my identity. And
that was a real fear. And I hadto be aware of that, as I was
transitioning across careers, ifI didn't understand fear, and
(13:52):
that it's a normal thing tofeel, I would have kept limiting
my personal and professionalgrowth. But once I became aware
of that fear, and I normalisedthat fear, I would just look at
it, accept it for what it wasnot judge myself for it. But
(14:13):
most importantly, not let itstop me. I would check in with
that consistently. Because I wasaware that fear was my automatic
response. And my automaticresponse would be me in flight
mode.
But I didn't run away, proudly.
I've gone on to have a highlysuccessful teaching career that
(14:37):
has led to so many amazingthings. So do you feel like
you're aware of the things thatare holding you back? Let's
raise your awareness. If you'recompletely oblivious, that's a
one. And if you're absolutelysure of all The things that are
(14:59):
holding you back, and you knowwhy you have those fears, and
where they've come from? Andwhat's making you doubt
yourself? Or what's making youdelay, then you are a 10. And
don't forget to ask yourself,why you've scored yourself this
way? Why did I give myself thatnumber? And even more
(15:22):
importantly, how can I improveon it, you might find that if
you take the time to acknowledgeyour fear, and understand why
it's there, that you will findways to overcome it, or dare I
say, be courageous in spite ofit. Number three, this third
(15:43):
category is change. Let me askyou, How comfortable are you
with change. Some people simplydon't deal with change at all,
while others get bored, and theyneed that kind of stimulation
one gets from change, and theyfeel us in this area of their
(16:06):
lives. So how do you rate yourcomfort level with change? One
is not comfortable at all, or 10is like no problems. I make
changes in my life, like Ichange my underwear. This means
it's easy for you, it's noproblem. You're very adaptable,
(16:30):
you're very flexible, you'revery open to going with the
flow. Perhaps you've beenthrough a lot. And you realise
that in life, there is ebb andflow. You understand that life
throws challenges at us so wecan learn and grow. And with
that comes change. when lifethrows you a bunch of
(16:56):
challenges, you understand that?
This is life, boss tracking yourgrowth. This makes you resilient
to change. But the more yougrow, the more and more comfort
you feel, and the more and morecertainty you feel around
(17:17):
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those who lack courage are oftenmost fearful of change. And
those go hand in hand. Much ofcourage is really about just
moving forward in life. So whereare you with this? A one or a
10? And so why do you rateyourself the way you do around
(19:54):
your ability to change hasSomething happened in the past
where something dramaticallychanged in your life, or you
suffered loss, or there washardship or disappointment that
came with that. And being awareof those things, it allows us
(20:15):
now to look at change from adifferent perspective. Perhaps
you don't fear change at all.
Perhaps you even thrive onchange. And I know people like
this. Your attitude is, well,what if I do change? I learned
(20:37):
something from it. And I enjoyedthe process of change. I don't
hate it. And I don't fear it.
And things do turn out betterfor me, because I've got good
intention around it. I have avision for my future. And I
pursue it with dedication andpersistence. So you travel
(20:58):
through life with the courage tochange the things you need to
change. But if you need tochange direction in your life,
have you gotten busy with thetask of looking at what it is
you truly want to do? Or lookingfor that new job?
(21:19):
What about the career change youso badly? Want? Isn't it time
you made that move? Isn't ittime you say yes to change?
Number four? Trying again, whenyou fail? Do you pick yourself
(21:41):
up? Dust yourself off? And tryagain? Do you get back on the
horse? Do you look for adifferent way of approaching
things? Are you flexible andadaptive to dealing with the
same problem? Or are you one ofthose people who starts avoiding
(22:03):
that problem? Just because thefirst time you tried, it didn't
work? So now, the thing thatdidn't work out for the first
time, that thing you really wantto do in life so badly is on the
backburner and you avoid it. Ifyou're someone who absolutely
(22:24):
will not try again, when youfail, you get a one in this
rating. However, if you keep atit, you try hard at it, you
persist, you're resilient, thenit's a 10 I think it's a really
important thing to understandwhen it comes to courage is that
(22:47):
willingness to try again, evenwhen you do fail, you can say to
yourself, well, things didn't goso well. They didn't go as
planned. And hey, it's okay.
Let's try again. Yep. Let's tryagain. It's amazing what you can
achieve when you try again, andyou stick with it. Let's use my
(23:11):
social reels as an example.
Those are now all one takewonders. But I remember the
first time I had to shoot a oneminute video. It took me three
hours, three hours to shoot aone minute video. It was awful.
(23:35):
I sounded awful. It was like analien talking. That's crazy. I
was so embarrassed. I couldn'tget the words out and I was
trying to memorise things I hadscripted. And that didn't work
either. So then I tried to readthe script directly. I was so
(23:59):
awkward in front of the camera,and I had no clue what I was
doing. So I tried again. And Itried again. And I tried again.
And you know, my videos havegotten better gradually over
time. By trying again. They justgot a little better, a little
(24:24):
better, and a little better. Andnow it's all done in one take no
script, no perfection here atall. But there's something I can
be proud of. That's because Ikept trying again. And it took a
level of courage and dedicationto do that. I suppose it's
(24:48):
difficult to be vulnerable andto know that you're not doing a
good job and to say, no matterwhat, I'm going to stick with
it. It takes courage. and ittakes not giving up. So in the
trying again department, how doyou rate? One means you don't
(25:11):
ever try again? Or are you that10? Because you don't ever quit?
Ask yourself, why do you quit?
Or if you're a 10? How did youdevelop that practice of trying
again? What was it in your lifethat has triggered either
(25:31):
response? Awareness is alwaysthe first step to courage, but
it's also the first step towardstaking centre stage in your
life. Number five, this lastmeasurement of courage, is how
long are you willing to endurehardship and struggle? You know,
(25:53):
endurance is a big measurementof courage, because it's so easy
to quit. It's easy to let go ofdiscomfort, it's easy to say,
You know what, this is not goingwell. I'm out of here. And I'm
just not trying again. In life,it's about endurance. We talk
(26:16):
about honouring the strugglewhen it's not going so well.
There can be hardship in thejourney. So how long will you
endure the hardship? It's a partof courage to be able to push
through those things that bringus discomfort, or struggle, or
(26:37):
hardship, and keep at it overand over again, until we develop
mastery over it. This is soimportant. Now, some people,
they endure the struggleforever. But they endure the
struggle in silence. They neverasked for help. They don't ask
(27:01):
for that support. They mayendure a struggle, but they're
doing the wrong thing. Orthey're going about things in
the wrong way. But they don'tadjust or adapt their behaviour.
They don't try again, they don'tchange. They don't know what's
(27:22):
holding them back. They don'texpress their hardship, and walk
through life trying to portraythemselves as some kind of hero.
But when I say enduring thestruggle, I mean, being okay
with discomfort andvulnerability, long enough to
(27:44):
reach your dreams. So let's rateyou on this. If you won't endure
the struggle, you're a one. Thatmeans you're just not
comfortable with discomfort.
You're 10. If you're consistent,and you're vibrant, even through
(28:07):
the struggle, you recognise itfor what it is, and you honour
it as part of the process.
So with those five categories,the maximum number of points
possible is 50. That would meanyour 10 in all those categories,
(28:34):
self expression, awareness ofyour fear or doubts or delays,
your comfort and willingness tochange, your ability to try
again and again, and yourendurance to struggle. If you
didn't get a 50 We have to getyou up into that higher range.
(28:58):
Don't despair. This is alifetime journey. It's not easy.
It's challenging. We all have towork on these things, and have
the courage to make change,right? Life is difficult, and
it's difficult during all stagesof life. It takes a lot of
(29:20):
courage to get up again. Sohonour that journey. And let's
begin. What could you do toimprove the level of courage in
your life? I'm going to help youhere. First thing is, number
one, start saying no more often.
The number one failed point ofcourage is our inability to say
(29:42):
no to others, saying no todistraction, saying no to
opportunities that may appear tobe good on the surface. And
they're positive, but they'renot truly aligned with where You
need to be in your life as youmove forward. It's being able to
say no to people who treatothers poorly. This is a vital,
(30:07):
vital area of life. I think ourability to say no is ultimately
one of the most importanttrades. We need to take our
lives to the next level. Believeit or not, we must be able to
say no. And I mean no todistraction. Saying no to
(30:31):
distraction has also been a hugelearning curve in my life. I
have lots of distractions in mylife. And I've had to teach
myself that my first response tonew opportunities must be a no.
And then I must be able toconvince myself why it must be a
(30:55):
yes. For many of us, we want tosay yes, and accept everything
that comes our way, as we vieweverything that comes our way as
an opportunity. But that's whatgets us in trouble, especially
because high achievers tend tobe talented at everything. They
(31:16):
tend to work hard, and theysucceed at everything. So they
say yes, and they'll do great.
But then they spread themselvestoo thin. They burn out, and
they find themselves doing 10million things, but only three
(31:39):
of them really well. So I teachmy clients to say no to
everything. First up, and that'sstep one, say no to everything.
Step two is make the case forwhy you should say yes. Is this
task, important to your abilityto reach your goals? Is this
(32:04):
going to improve your life? doesit align with your core values
and where you see yourself inthe next five years? But that
case has to be solid? Step threeis really evaluate that case?
Are you really keepingperspective on this? Are you
(32:29):
taking a real passionate andemotional view? Or a practical
one? What are the repercussionsand the consequences of taking
this thing on? And that's alldifficult work? And it takes
courage to say no. But those whodo and do it well, and do it
(32:52):
consistently. This allows themto say yes, more to the things
that are right for them. Thethings that are important to
them. Now is the time to learnto ask. Ask for the things that
you need. If you've ever beenafraid to ask for help, because
(33:17):
of fear that you may seem weak.
You're not the only one. I thinkthis is kind of human nature.
It's a sad irony that it'sduring the times we need most
help, that we don't have thecourage to ask for it. Usually,
when we're in serious need ofhelp, we are living a fear based
(33:39):
life. We often have little or noconfidence in ourselves, and
we're afraid of how others willperceive us. Most of us will not
have the courage to open up andfeel even more vulnerable to ask
for help when it's needed.
(34:02):
We all need to learn that it'sokay to need help and to ask for
it. Even Good leaders know thatby asking for help. This is not
a sign of weakness, but rather asign of courage. In fact, when
leaders can't admit they needhelp, that lack of humility
(34:26):
actually becomes an obstaclethat hinders progress, and
success outcomes. Every goodleader has their tribe.
Sometimes we're ashamed to seekhelp. We're afraid of hearing
those crushing words. You know,you made your bed now you lie in
(34:48):
it. Or I told you so. Or evenworse when people say Serves you
right. So we'd rather not speakup The possibility of seeming
needy or even being rejected.
And to reach out to ask for helpwhen we need it takes so much
courage. But then look at itthis way, by asking others for
(35:13):
help. When times are tough,gives others the opportunity to
ask for help themselves if theyever needed in the future. Those
that you seek help from may needit themselves one day, think
about it, so everyone is betteroff. So whether you need someone
(35:35):
to lend you a hand, or you justneed to borrow an ear, consider
this. By having the courage toask for help. You're not putting
others out, you're pulling themup. The important thing here is
that none of us have to do lifealone. Once you find your tribe,
(35:58):
and those people you connectwith in life, your life is much
richer for it. Cultivate yournetwork and your relationships.
Serve surround yourself withrole models of quietly
courageous people. Work atbuilding those relationships,
(36:19):
invest time and energy intoothers, and they will do the
same for you. There will betimes in your life, when you
will need to confide in someoneyou trust. Give yourself
permission to ask for help. Askfor what you really need and
(36:40):
become more consistent withthis. It's time to unlock the
journey of courage. Numberthree, set bigger goals. Have
the courage to set those biggergoals. Your courage is really
reflected in your goals. This isan unknown truth. If I talk with
(37:06):
someone, and they have no goals,I'm sorry to say they have no
courage. They probably have onceand desires. But they never set
a goal that is beyondthemselves. And so that part of
their coverage is not beingamplified. Look, I do put myself
out there. And sometimes I askedmyself, What the hell were you
(37:33):
thinking? But that's meant thatI've set some big ticket goals.
And I've had to amp up mycourage at times 100 fold.
There's been times before I'vehad to get up and give a
presentation at an internationalconference or release a new
(37:55):
product that I think to myself,were you crazy to put yourself
up for this? And then when itall goes well, I think Well, now
that I know I can do that thing.
It will be easier next time. Andthen I also ask, well, what's
(38:18):
the next level for me? Becauseif I can do this, I can do
anything I put my mind to. Andthat's how you feel when you
achieve something that's on agrand scale. It really empowers
you. It really helps you step upin terms of courage to achieve
(38:42):
the next biggest thing in yourlife. Some of you may say, Ah,
everybody is on this treadmillfor wanting more. And they're
always wanting more and more andmore. What a terrible way to
live. Isn't that horrible? And Isay no to that. What a great way
(39:04):
to live. Of course we all wantmore. It may be you want to
deepen your love and yourrelationship with your wife,
your husband, your kids, yourcommunity, your present moment.
But more here is not the enemyclearly. You may want to have
(39:27):
more connection with thispresent moment more than before.
That's not a negative ambition.
More is a good thing. When itcomes at a cost or a compromise
in your other goals you want toachieve or at the cost of your
health. That is the problem.
(39:49):
That's a huge problem. When itbecomes a conflict of interest,
or a challenge, or causes youproblems in other areas. of your
life, that is a bad thing forsure. But for most people, they
truly need to set bigger goals.
This would require them toanalyse what they really want,
(40:12):
and to evaluate what is rightfor them and dare to dream
again, to access that greatervision and the strength that
they need to get inspired.
That's a positive thing. Solet's set bigger goals. What do
(40:32):
you say? And you know what,there are so many areas of your
life where you can set biggergoals. Are you ready to scale
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So what are your big ticketgoals? It does take courage to
do something big. Can youimagine the courage it took for
JFK to say we're going to landon the moon? That was a big
(42:27):
goal, an absolute almostimpossible goal, but they made
it happen. And what about ElonMusk, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and
the things that they've achievedthat were massive goals. And I
know you have made a lot ofgoals happen in your life. Even
if it wasn't putting a man onthe moon. It's not about that.
(42:49):
It's just that sometimesreaching that higher level of
performance, that biggermilestone, accessing that state
of getting excited, like reallyexcited about something changes
our perspective about life.
Again, this requires a newchallenge. So go and set that
(43:09):
for yourself. Give yourself thegift of new challenges, the gift
of bigger goals, it's time foryou to give yourself that push
again. It's okay. That push is apart of courage. And it's time
to start flexing your muscles interms of courage, the more you
(43:33):
push, the stronger those musclesbecome. And number four, stop
living your life to the standardof others. We talked about
having the courage to say no.
And in order to do that, youmust stop living your life to
(43:57):
the standard of others. Everyonehas an opinion, oh my gosh,
don't they want. And at timespeople may have your best
interest at heart. But thenthere are times they don't. Even
those who do have your bestinterest at heart may not truly
understand what makes you happyand fulfilled in your life. So
(44:21):
you have to have the courage notto listen to others and stop
trying to live to theirexpectations. I'm here to tell
you that the opinions of otherpeople don't matter. Unless it's
coming from someone you trulylove, or highly respect or
someone who is your mentor orsomeone who is very successful
(44:45):
and is achieving the very thingyou're aspiring to do in your
future. Why would you listen tothose who live in the cheap
seats? Who were throwing cheapshots at you? Listen, if they're
doing this to you They're doingit to others. Yes, this may
sound a little harsh. Butsometimes those people you find
(45:08):
the most intimidating, areusually full of huff and puff.
It's usually a smokescreen fortheir own insecurities. They
like to bring others down tobuild themselves up. I know many
people like this, they'veprobably never done what you're
(45:30):
doing themselves. And they'rethe ones who are making the most
noise about it. If that's thecase, they have no right to do
that. They're nothing butschoolyard bullies living in the
cheap seats of life, it's mostlikely, they have never had the
courage themselves to ventureout in the true arena of life.
(45:55):
And until they do, they have notearned the right to pass
judgement. So don't allow othersto make you fearful of
expressing your true self to theworld. Some people may even be
jealous of you. And theythemselves are afraid of your
(46:15):
success, and more than happy tooffer you the wrong advice. So
don't pay attention to thosetypes of people. And don't even
worry about proving them wrong,because that's creating a
negative energy. It's nothelping you step up your
courage. So don't spend all yourtime trying to make everyone
(46:38):
happy, because it's simply notpossible. It's a reminder that
it's simply not possible toplease everyone. And the sooner
you realise that, the sooner youwill have the courage to do
whatever you believe is right.
And whatever you believe isfair. It's time to focus on you
and what you want. I understandall about this, because as a
(47:04):
child, and a woman growing up inthe Italian community, I came to
the realisation that I couldn'tlive my life to the standards of
that culture. I realised that tobe my true self. And to live my
most authentic life. I neededlike minded people around me who
(47:26):
honoured the same values.
Creating those communities givesus the support to face
challenges and to face fear. Itis so much easier to be
courageous when we have support.
To apply this in our own lives,we must examine our
(47:47):
relationships, and distinguishbetween those that are toxic
from those people who sharesimilar values. Those courageous
values such as kindness,vulnerability, optimism, and
empathy. It's time to startinviting those like minded
(48:08):
people into your life. Thiscould be a compassionate family
member, a friend, a coach, or atherapist who provides the
support and perspective you needto persevere during difficult
times. Sometimes, just havingsomeone listened to you helps
(48:29):
immeasurably. So make an effortto spend time with these types
of people. A relationship with apositive, caring person is one
of the best ways to reduce fearand build courage. Stick with
those who build you up and nottear you down. And then number
(48:53):
five, is have the courage inevaluating yourself. This is a
great one to finish up on, is toget you to rate yourself, right?
A lot of people lack the courageto do a self analysis because
they don't want to see the badstuff. They want to look at
(49:15):
themselves through a smokescreen and don't want to look at
themselves as they truly are.
They don't want to admit whenthey feel shame about their
actions and they don't want tolook at themselves when they've
failed and analyse why it'shappened. Because what they try
(49:36):
to do is to distract themselvesfrom having that tough
conversation with themselves.
They're not being honest. Whenthey ask themselves, how am I
really going? How am I reallydoing here? You know, I'm so
lucky to work with many verytalented performers and
(49:59):
creatives. And you know, theones that I see getting ahead
are the ones who are reallycurious about their own
thoughts, their own emotions andtheir own behaviours. Their
curiosity in these areas areequal to the curiosity they have
about their bank balances, ortheir audience reviews or their
(50:23):
last performance. They'recomfortable getting feedback
from other people, which I know.
And, you know, really kind ofsucks at times. Sometimes
getting that honest feedbackfrom other people is not such a
(50:43):
feel good situation. But realself courage is having the
ability to look at oneself, andto be able to say, Yeah, I was
not a good person in thatsituation, I should have done
better, I could do better. It'sallowing yourself to be the
(51:06):
observer in your life. It's notabout hating yourself, or
getting down on yourself. It'snot to beat yourself up. But
when you evaluate yourself, it'sto help you institute a new
thought, a new emotion, orperhaps a new behaviour. What
(51:30):
areas can you do better in anddoing it without self hatred or
self pity or blaming others?
It's just about using theevaluation process to challenge
yourself to do better. That'sthe kind of courage I'm talking
about, to evaluate oneselfopenly with love. You know, I
(51:53):
laugh when I suck on video. Ilaugh when I make a mistake on
stage.
I laugh when I don't do good,it's challenging. But I've
learned to laugh at off. Ievaluate myself constantly. I'm
(52:15):
always evaluating my level ofenergy and performance in life
every day. And that's important.
It's made me who I am today. AsI'm doing this audio, I'm
evaluating myself. Not in waysthat limit me, but in ways that
I just check in. How's thisfeeling? What am I saying what's
(52:38):
going on here? You know, thisparticular section has been hard
for me because my voice isacting out. I've been speaking
so much, that my voice is alittle fatigued and doesn't have
the energy I wanted to have. SoI don't feel like I'm speaking
the way I would usually, as muchas I would like this not to be
(53:02):
happening. I don't beat myselfup for it. I'm just aware of it.
So it allows me to perform alittle better. It gives me that
courage to say, you know, I'mnot doing as well as I want to.
But let's set the challenge formyself here.
(53:32):
I hope that all of these areasfrom saying no, to asking for
what you really want and havingthe courage to ask for support,
to setting bigger goals toevaluating yourself. Don't bring
you discomfort or fear. Think ofcourage as a muscle. As I said
(53:54):
earlier, and keep working onbuilding your courage muscle,
you build muscle by doing thesame action repetitively. So
when it comes to courage, it'sall about you pushing yourself
to step outside of your comfortzone consistently. You only have
(54:16):
one chance at this life, so it'sworth it. With that question the
Life You Want To Live is worththe effort. It is possible but
it won't be easy initially toachieve. But I know you're
willing to fight for it. Witheach action of courage, standing
(54:37):
up for what you value, speakingout for those who don't have a
voice taking action when toomany people are afraid to step
in and help. You are not onlycreating a better life for
yourself and for those who lovebut others you may not even know
about in your community as youbegin to live more religiously
(55:00):
in your life. Know that youractions speak volumes. Now is
the time more than ever to stepup your courage. Challenge
yourself to look at your lifeand explore your own courage.
Until next time, go out thereevery single day of your life,
(55:23):
realise you are stronger thanyou ever imagined. Dedicate
yourself to being a courageousperson. And as always, dare to
live the life you imagined. It'stime to step out of those wings
and take centre stage in yourlife. Because you are worthy,
(55:47):
you are worth the effort. Alwayshave been and always will be.
Thank you so much for listeningto this episode of a voice and
beyond. I hope you enjoyed it asnow is an important time for you
to invest in your own self care,personal growth and education.
(56:12):
Use every day as an opportunityto learn and to grow so you can
show up feeling empowered andready to live your best life. If
you know someone who will alsobe inspired by this episode,
please be sure to copy and pastethe link and share it with them.
Or share it on social media anduse the hashtag a voice and
(56:36):
beyond. I promise you I amcommitted to bringing you more
inspiration and conversationsjust like this one every week.
And if you would like to help meplease rate and review this
podcast and cheer me on byclicking the subscribe button on
Apple podcast right now. I wouldalso love to know what it is
(56:59):
that you most enjoyed about thisepisode and what was your
biggest takeaway? Please takecare and I look forward to your
company next time on the nextepisode of a voice and beyond.
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