#172. Break Boundaries and Ignite Your Intentional Life with John R. Miles

Episode Transcript
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Dr Marisa Lee Naismith (00:01):
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It's Marisa Lee here, and I'm soexcited to be sharing today's
interview round episode withyou. In these episodes, our

(02:44):
brilliant lineup of guests willinclude healthcare
practitioners, voice educators,and other professionals who will
share their stories, knowledgeand experiences within their
specialized fields to empoweryou to live your best life.
Whether you're a member of thevoice, community, or beyond your

(03:08):
voice is your unique gift. It'stime now to share your gift with
others develop a positivemindset and become the best and
most authentic version ofyourself to create greater
impact. Ultimately, you can takecharge, it's time for you to

(03:31):
live your best life. It's timenow for a voice and beyond. So
without further ado, let's go totoday's episode.
Welcome to another episode ofvoice and beyond. This week, we

(03:53):
have an incredible guest foryou, John R. Miles. John is a
keynote speaker, a combatveteran and the host of the
number one ranked alternativehealth podcast passion struck
with John miles, which hasgarnered over 17 million

(04:13):
downloads from listeners in 169countries. He is also the author
of the acclaimed book, passionstruck 12 powerful principles to
unlock your purpose and igniteyour most intentional life.
Today, John will share some ofthe inspirational work from his

(04:38):
book, which combines behavioralscience research, peak
performance strategies, and reallife narratives from industry
titans, such as Oprah, ElonMusk, Dwayne The Rock Johnson,
and astronaut Wendy Lawrencejust to name a few. Drawing from

(04:59):
his his insights, experiencesand the very essence of the
human spirit. John navigatesthrough self sabotage and doubt,
to empower you to confront andtranscend your limiting beliefs.
This ultimately paves the wayfor a life without boundaries.

(05:21):
recognized as one of the topthinkers in personal mastery,
and a premier 100 leader. Johnshares how we can break free
from the inner confines ofpersonal limits, overcome the
barriers that hold us back, andharness the transformative power

(05:42):
of intentionality. John's storyis both timely and compelling.
In an era where burnout, mentalhealth challenges and the search
for purpose are more prevalentthan ever. John's journey from
corporate success to profoundpersonal realization brings

(06:05):
hope, inspiration and actionableinsights. So if you're ready to
craft a life that truly matters,this interview with John miles
is a master Listen, tune in andget ready to be inspired. So

(06:26):
without further ado, let's go totoday's episode.
Welcome to a voice and beyond,we have a very special guest
today we have John miles. Howare you, John?

John R. Miles (06:49):
Marisa, I am doing fantastic. Thank you so
much for bringing me on yourgreat show. It's great to see
you again.

Tell us about your story. John Miles,
who is John miles? And what isthe journey that has led to you
writing this book,

Marissa, I guess you could say I've always been a
person who has taken the roadless traveled throughout my
entire life. And I think thatreally started when I was a kid.
And that five years old, wasjust playing tag in our side
yard with a bunch of otherchildren. And we kept getting

(07:25):
rougher and rougher as we wereplaying as little boys do. And
one of my neighbors justhappened to catch me in the back
right at the right time, orwrong moment. As it is and I
went flying through there landedthrough our basement window and
ended up getting a traumaticbrain injury, which ended up

(07:45):
causing a whole number of issuesfor me, including a spectrum of
speech impediment, migraineissues, cognitive issues and
finding words and using themproperly. That other vision
issues. And so even at a youngage, I was forced to have to
overcome resilience and choosewhether I was going to play the

(08:08):
victim or whether I was going todo something and find my way out
of it because I was getting sickof the kids teasing me that I
was broken in some way. So thatreally led this inner drive for
me to want to make something outof my life. And so when I came
to the time in life when I hadto choose University, I made the

(08:31):
choice again to go to the NavalAcademy instead of your typical
university. Yes, because I Ithought it was a phenomenal
place to foster leadershipskills, I wanted to follow in
the footsteps of my grandfatherand my father, before me serve
my country. And also I justfigured I'm never going to have

(08:52):
the opportunities andexperiences like I would have
from that starting my journey.
And that's exactly whathappened. I ended up graduating,
had a great time when I was inthe service working for the
National Security Agency got todeploy throughout all areas of
the world saw my time in Iraqand in the Yugoslavia conflict,

(09:12):
Northern Africa and otherthings. And the only reason I
really left the military wasbecause I had an opportunity to
join the Federal Bureau ofInvestigation as a special agent
and ended up having my Quanticoclass set up for about a week
after I got out of the military.
And unfortunately, our Congresswas having some of the same

(09:36):
inter fighting politics thatwere going on then. So they
couldn't pass a budget. And myclass ended up getting canceled
and recycled three years later.
And by the time it came about, Ihad to move to Plan B because I
had a kid at that point. Andlife had just taken a different
turn. And so I spent the nextsix, seven years in management

(09:57):
consulting when anotherunexpected turn happened. I was
working as a practice leader.
For Arthur Andersen, if peopleremember that firm, when Enron
happened, and in a matter ofweeks took the whole firm down.
So then I had to do anotherunexpected pivot, which brought
me to Australia, of all places,because I took a job working for

(10:21):
LendLease. Oh,

yes, I know. LendLease. Yes, they're
big corporate property managersor leasing managers. Yeah,

when I was with them, the company was a little
bit different. It wasn't justthe construction business. We
also owned MLC, which was soldto National Australia Bank. We
also had a real event, realestate investment trust, and a
whole myriad of different mutualfunds. So it was both a
financial services company andthe property company that it's

(10:52):
known as today. In fact, at thattime, Australia owned 50% of
IBM, Asia. Wow, I didn't knowthat. So yeah, it was a top 10
Australian Stock Exchange tradedcompany at that point in time,
lots have changed over the past20 years. But I went from there
to then Lowe's home improvement,where I ended up being the head

(11:15):
of all data, kind of what theycall a chief data officer today
by the time I left, and thatspringboard into me becoming a
CIO at Dell computers. And then,following that, I really pivoted
into private equity, and was apartner in a private equity firm
and would go and lead therebuilding of many of their

(11:35):
companies. So I ended upbecoming the CEO for three or
four of the portfolio beforeeventually finding my way into
what I'm doing now. So there

did come a point throughout that journey,
where you say that you arefeeling directionless, lonely
and bored. So why do you thinkyou started feeling that way?
Because externally, you wouldhave looked like you had a very
successful, a great life goingon. But there must have been

(12:05):
something missing intrinsically.
So when was that moment of SelfRealization? And how did you
pinpoint what was actually goingon with you?

I think I was facing what many people are
facing today, this feeling thatHenry David Thoreau, all the way
back when he wrote on Walden,that the mass of men lead lives
of quiet desperation. And that'show I actually felt I had wound
up in what I consider to be kindof a portfolio career, moving up

(12:38):
the ladder, doing differentthings to try to make more money
gained titles do all the thingspeople do in corporations. And
it was so foreign from anythingthat I even dreamt of doing.
When I was a kid. When I was akid, I kind of dreamt of being a
professional sports athlete, orbeing an FBI agent, like I

(13:03):
thought my career was gonna goor being in the military,
something where I was not justsitting behind a desk, but we
had a more action filled life.
And when the plan B was put intoeffect, I found myself on this
path that after a good 12 to 15years into it was anything but
fulfilling for me. In fact, ithad reached a point where I was

(13:28):
just waking up every single day,and just dreading to go to work.
Because once I had achievedbecoming a C level, almost all
the things that I had a passionfor doing the creative aspects
of my life being hands on, in inshaping things. All were removed
as I was dealing more and morewith politics across the

(13:52):
organization, Human Resourcesissues, and really, financial
management of a billion and ahalf dollar budget. But I wasn't
doing the things that really litme up inside. Yes. And I found
at work, it was just a myriad ofmeetings, politics, emails, and
stress upon stress, and working80 to 100 hour weeks, every

(14:18):
single week, traveling two weeksout of the month, overseas
because I had staff in 15different countries and five
continents. So it was just alife that I think on the outside
looking at the resume lookglorious, if you didn't
understand yes, what it was likeactually living it. And when

(14:39):
your life gets out of balance,like was happening with me, you
start making sacrifices alongthe way. And it's one of those
things where I'm not going towork out today because I need to
get this done. And then thatleads to it making it easier to
say that the next his time andthen yes, you start losing your

(15:00):
eating habits when you're on allthese global trips, and you're
not eating the healthy diet thatyou're supposed to. And so all
of a sudden, other areas of yourlife get completely out of
whack. Yes. And I just foundmyself in complete inner
turmoil. And when you don'tcatch yourself quickly enough,
when that's happening, you canreally go from kind of a midline

(15:23):
baseline to all of a sudden justspiraling out of control,
especially if burnout startscompounding things which it did
for me. And so I just foundmyself in a position where I
just felt, at one pointcompletely numb, and that I was
just going through the motions,and that nothing I was doing
seemed like it was reallyholding any weight or creating

(15:45):
any significance in my life. Andit's a that's a terrible place
to be. And I think that'sexactly what Henry David Thoreau
meant when he said quietdesperation, because you feel
like you were just stuck, andyou can't figure out how to
break free.

I would imagine there'd be a lot of
people listening to what you'resaying, right now, they may not
be in a corporate job, but wouldbe feeling what you're
describing. Because so manypeople go through the motions
every day, they're in jobs thatthey absolutely do not want to
get out of bed for. And I theword congruent, was coming to

(16:29):
mind. You weren't living acongruent life to who you were
meant to be and the things thatyou wanted to aspire to do in
your life. Most people staystuck in that. But how did you
get yourself out of that? Imean, that would have taken a
lot of courage to leave such ahigh paying job where, obviously

(16:52):
you had no financial problems.
And as you say, on paper andobserving your life from the
outside would have been Wow,this guy's got it all travel
money. A fantastic job. So howdid you overcome those
challenges? And what steps didyou take to make change in your

(17:12):
life? Well,

Marissa, I don't care. If you're making millions
of dollars, or you're making$80,000, no matter where you're
at, it seems extremely difficultto do something different when
you're so accustomed to livingthe life that you are. Yes. And

(17:38):
I just want to put a figure outthere, I'm in Gallup, in the
past years, has shown that thereare over 900 million people in
142 countries who feelunfulfilled. Oh, about what they
do in life. And when they say900 million, they're measuring
that against the 1.2 billionfull time workers, which means

(18:01):
900 million out of 1.2 billionfeel unfulfilled. So this is a
really pervasive issue.

Yes.
Wow. That's an incrediblefigure. Yeah. And

so for me, it was really coming down to
understanding that I wasn'tliving authentically. And I came
to the stark realization thatthe quest for authentic living
was completely on the otherspectrum of the life I was
leading because it's not aboutthe superficial pursuit of

(18:35):
monetary pleasures. It's notabout the status symbols that we
get. To me, it became a deeperrebellion against societal norms
that dictate so many of ourlives, and, for me became a
refusal to settle for a lifethat was being defined by
someone else's standards. It wasreally breaking away from quiet

(18:58):
desperation, and reclaiming thepower to author my own story and
to create the life that Iwanted. And I got here because
when I was at this period ofbrokenness, I started doing some
of the most crucial work aroundmindfulness and self awareness,

(19:20):
and really relearning who I was,and what brought me joy, and
fulfillment in my life, I had toget back to the basics of
understanding what made meunique, and how do I exploit
that and serving others, I hadstarted to hear this inner voice
that was telling me that I wassupposed to start helping, the

(19:43):
beaten, the battered, thebroken, the lonely, the
hopeless, the board of theworld, but I had no idea what
that meant, nor how does aperson who's a business
executive start doing that, likewhat am I supposed to be
offering who are even thesepeople And so I really started

(20:04):
to go down this journey of whatI talked about in the book is
crafting a new life for myself.
And I use the analogy which manypeople in Australia will
understand of being an angler, Icall it the mission angler.
Because when I go fishing, andsome of the best fishermen I

(20:24):
know, they treat it as a trueart form. And they are extremely
intentional about it from Yes,waking up early, pre planning
their days ahead, doing theresearch on currents on moon
phases, where the fish are goingto be located, how far they need
to go out in the ocean to findthe most plentiful, when are the

(20:47):
fish going to be biting? I mean,all these different things that
they're intentional about yet,how many of us are that
intentional about the life we'retrying to create for ourselves?
Very few. And so that's what itreally became, for me is this
exercise of I had my actualself, I had found myself living

(21:09):
as my odd self, meaning who Ithought I should be, because of
all the obligations I felt wereon my shoulders, but it's then
how do you start bridging thatgap between the odd self that
you've become and the ideal selfthat you aspire to be? And to
me, this really, is the wholebook exploration of then how do

(21:32):
you build yourself into thatfulfilling life that you aspire
to have? Yes. And it all reallystarts and ends with, you've got
to find what your uniqueness is.
And the problem that you werecalled to solve that only you

(21:53):
have the uniqueness to solve?
Hmm,

there were a couple of things that
were coming to mind as he wasspeaking, and you were sharing
your orange journey. And yousaid that there was an inner
voice that was speaking to you,in order to hear an inner voice,
you have to stop and listen. Andmost of us today, are just

(22:17):
chasing after a result. And youtalked about the fisherman and
you were talking aboutintention, but that the word
process was coming to me also,that those fishermen, I bet you,
it's not just about catching thefish, it's about every one of
those steps and enjoying theprocess of getting to that stage

(22:43):
of fishing and actually havingthe fish on the end of the hook.
And people today seem to just beafter results. They after the
result, they don't stop andenjoy the process along the way.
They're not intentional in theway they live their lives. But
they don't stop and listen,either. They don't celebrate

(23:06):
things. I mean, we really areliving in a society where
everyone's just on this madrush. And there's burnout,
there's stress, there's anxiety,and, you know, good on you for
taking that step and removingyourself out of that situation.

(23:29):
And having that foresight to doit. You know, we're in a compare
and despair society here. And alot of that is through social
media, where people are lookingat the way other people are
living their lives, and wantingto live that same life, and not

(23:49):
being true to who they are, andnot being congruent. I mean,
there's so many things we cantalk about here. But I really
want to move on to your book. Soyou're offering us some of the
things that you use some of thetools and the tips that you use
to get yourself back on thatlife of living congruent. So

(24:13):
your book passion struck 12powerful principles to unlock
your purpose and ignite yourmost intentional life. So as I
said earlier, the book wasreleased in February. It
combines behavior science,research and peak performance
strategies. So we clearly knowthe inspiration of the book. So

(24:35):
tell us about the book itself,how its arranged and what the 12
principles are that you talkabout through the book.

The book is really arranged around something
that I call the passion struckmodel, and it's made up of four
components. So section, one ofthe book is all based on six
principles that all orientaround mindset shifts and the
minds Set shifts are extremelyimportant because it is your

(25:03):
mindset that really dictates thewhy that you end up taking the
actions that you do. And itinfluences the how the second
section of the book goes intobehavior shifts. And the
behavior shifts also equate tosix principles. And they build
upon the mindset shifts. Andthis is really the what you're

(25:28):
taking action against, and howyou're doing it. And then the
last section of the book I callthe psychology of progress. But
it's really about the interplayof taking deliberate action, and
the important fuel of intrinsicmotivation. So that is how you
put these 12 principles into themicro choices that make up your

(25:51):
daily life. So it's how allthose things come together, and
especially how intrinsicmotivation is the fuel that
brings all of it into this fluidcycle. And all of it overarching
underpins our sense ofmattering, and a feeling of
significance that we have in theworld. So with that as the

(26:14):
backdrop, each one of theprinciples, I go through kind of
a short, almost parable, ormetaphor, describing it, I then
go into kind of the behaviorscience or psychology behind the
principle, I then introduce apersonal story of how it's

(26:35):
impacted my life. And then I gointo two examples in each
chapter, some actual have morethan that, of how some well
known people, such as Dwayne TheRock Johnson, or Oprah Winfrey,
and other less well known peoplehave implemented this in their
lives because I didn't wantpeople to think that you had to
be that star power to put theseprinciples into action. And so I

(27:00):
have people like that toemphasize the points, but I also
have what I call everyday heroesthroughout the book as well, to
show how regular peopletransform their lives using the
principles.

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beyond and unlock a happier,healthier you right now. So you
start off by talking about thewhy. So when you talk about the

(29:29):
why is that our purpose? Whywe're wanting to implement
change? What is important to us?
Is that the why that gets us upout of bed every morning. Yeah,

the first six principles are really all about
personal reinvention. And itstarts with becoming the mission
angler that I was talking about,which is all really the art of
life crafting and then at theend of it, I've got some Chapter
exercises that lead you down thepath for how do you discover
your purpose? How do you igniteit with passion? How do you go

(30:09):
about finding your ideal self?
How do you explore youruniquenesses and then I provide
QR codes as well, that you cango to additional assets that I
have available for even moreinformation. And then from
there, I really then go intothis next chapter on what it
means to become a brand reinventher and why. As I examined over

(30:29):
750, different luminaries acrossall aspects of academia, to
CEOs, to war heroes toastronauts, the one thing I
found consistent in addition tothem following these 12
principles was that they allconstantly reinvent themselves.

(30:50):
And a lot of times, we feel likewe're going to reach a point in
life. And then we stay stagnantthere. These people don't do
that they constantly arereinventing themselves. So once
they reach a plateau, and theycross it, they set out their
next plateau, learn more andtake on that next phase in life.

(31:10):
And then it leads you into otherthings that you need to learn,
such as how to put up properboundaries to avoid toxic people
and environments, how toovercome self doubt, how to use
your perspective as a weapon,and why it's so important to
learn the importance of dreamingyour dream, and not trying to

(31:32):
dream someone else's. That is

all really powerful stuff. So
powerful. And I absolutelyrelate to so much of what you
just talking about, then, one ofthe things about that
reinvention, that's reallyinteresting, because you think
that people that have made it ina certain area of their lives,
that they would be happy andfulfilled to stay there. But you

(31:58):
say that they keep reinventingthemselves. So is that because
they're trying to seek newpurpose through live?

Well, I think it's, some of that is there, but
I think it's more that theyunderstand that to stay on top
and to be at the top of theirgame and to continually living a
life that's passionate struck,because becoming passionate
struck isn't an end state, it'san ever evolving version of

(32:28):
yourself, that's constantlystriving to improve. So it's a
focus on reinventing, to improveevery area of yourself. And so
it's this never ending processwhere you're constantly trying
to learn to become better,because we all have ebbs and
flows in our lives. And so it'srecognizing those, and when

(32:51):
you're hitting them, and maybewhen you're not finding that you
have that motivation, or thatyou need a new challenge, and
doing the things that you needto do to reinvent yourself, to
reposition yourself to, as yousaid, potentially follow a new
purpose or to double down on theone you have, but doing it in
different ways. So

with this book, what would you say is
the greatest message that you'rewanting to deliver?

I think the greatest message is that we
don't have to put limits on howwe perceive we have to live our
life. And it all starts and endswith if you want a 10x version
of yourself, you have to startbecoming that 10x version that

(33:40):
you strive to be. And so a bigarea of the book then becomes
how do you lessen the activationenergy that it takes to do just
that. And if you think aboutthis on a chart, or one side is
energy, and the other side isintentional action, just think
of the metaphor of a personwho's having to roll their car

(34:05):
up the hill. And as they'redoing it and pushing it up the
hill, that activation energy isextremely robust, because you
have this huge force that'shitting you and you're trying to
push it uphill. But if you thinkthat then you've got the apex of
the hill and then you've got adownhill after it. Once you get

(34:26):
that momentum going, youractivation energy lowers. So one
of the key things is then how doyou figure out on the actions
that you need to take to pursuethe life that you want that you
lower the activation energythat's required to fuel those
actions, because actions buildupon themselves actions, create

(34:49):
other actions, and that's whatbuilds the foundation. So it's
really learning how do youreduce that activation energy so
that you lessen the friction?
for you to take continuingaction to build that foundation
upon which you can then takeyour life to wherever you want
it. So it's built,

it's creating a momentum. It's like
being that train that'sunstoppable in your life being
that you have this lifeforce,and you're just propelling
yourself forward and with theleast amount of energy as
possible.

I mean, that's part of it. And I think it's
also you need a measurementsystem. But you've got to put
the right measurement system inplace. Benjamin Hardy, who's a
psychologist wrote a great booka couple of years ago called the
gap in the game. And so many ofus when we're measuring
ourselves, we measure ourselvesin the gap, meaning, the
incremental progress that wemake, we're constantly comparing

(35:52):
ourselves to others around us.
And so it would be as eventhough I'm a successful
podcaster, who would be metrying to compare myself to Tim
Ferriss, or Joe Rogan, or evenJay Shetty, I've been doing it
much longer than I have, who'vehad much greater success. And if
I keep comparing myself to theirachievements, I'm constantly

(36:14):
going to be in the gap, when wereally need to realize is that
we need to compare ourselves inthe gains. And this is when you
look back at prior versions ofyourself, and you look at the
progress that you've madeincrementally along your growth
pattern. And those are the gainsthat you've made. And I think
it's a natural tendency to wantto compare, but it's a huge

(36:38):
mistake, because the only personyou should be comparing yourself
to are the leaps that you'vemade. Yes, where you once were
to where you want to become.
Exactly,

exactly.
And this book is backed byscience. Tell us about that. You
said that you research do youhad a lot of people contribute
to the book, how did you conductthat kind of research. So

really started out with me working for a
different company, where I wasthe associate publisher for a
publication they were doing, andI came up with this idea that I
wanted to start spa spotlightingleaders in the business world.
And so I started going down thispath of creating these eight to

(37:28):
10 different components thatmade a person a bold leader. And
as I started to look at this,and we started finding
similarities in these eight to10, attributes, I started to
naturally want to understandwhere they also successful in

(37:48):
their personal life, and whatset that apart. And so it really
led me down this journey ofstarting to start understanding
what were these differentcharacteristics that made people
feel fulfilled in life and allowthem to get over self doubt, to

(38:10):
put up the boundaries that theyneeded to to understand the
power of being alone in ourthoughts? Because we're
completely immersed in thevalues that we have, and we're
not allow, and we don't allowourselves to teeter from them.
Like, what were these thingsthat made people so strong, and

(38:32):
I ended up coming up initiallywith about a list of 30. And as
I started studying more and moreindividuals, the list ended up
getting up to about 750, I found12 That seemed to resonate more
and more on a repetitive basisacross the board. And those made
up the principles in the book. Ikind of did it backwards,

(38:52):
because at this point, I wasreally looking at neuroscience,
primarily as psychology.
Secondarily, when about fouryears ago, I got really
introduced to behavior scienceand realize that neuroscience is
fantastic. But neurosciencereally explains a longer term
eventuality of our behaviorwhere behavior science can allow

(39:17):
a person to take quicker actionto fulfill the direction they
wanted. And so I started to godown this path of just absorbing
myself and as much behaviorscience as I could, which led me
to want to start interviewingevery renowned behavior
scientist or psychologist whowas in that field that I could

(39:39):
and so I ended up interviewingabout 50 or 60, behavior
scientist along the way. And itjust so happened that every
single chapter is backed bybehavior signs, and I was able
to incorporate those interviewsinto the book.

Well, so that's really quite rigorous.
there, and you recruited peoplelike Oprah, the rock, how would
the Hey, how did you finddealing with those people?

Or some of these mask

as well?
Yeah.

Yeah. So some of these people i i candidly
interviewed some of them Ididn't. So for instance, I did
not get an opportunity tointerview. Oprah. I did
interview Elon Musk. I didinterview General McChrystal,
Keith crotch Jim McKelvey, whostarted square and a whole bunch
of others, but there were some Itried to get access to, but I

(40:40):
couldn't. So I learnedeverything I could about them,
and then use them in the book.
Right.

Dr Marisa Lee Naism (40:47):
Incredible.
Was there one of them that youthought, Well, I wasn't
expecting that response, orsomeone who really inspired you
through their responses?

Yeah. I think Jim McKelvey is a great example of
that. Jim, is the founder, as Isaid, of square, the payment
system with Jack Dorsey. And Ithink what was really remarkable
about Jim, is just how learnedhe is in understanding how
successful people operate andwhat makes successful

(41:23):
entrepreneurs and non successfulentrepreneurs. And it really
comes down to finding thisburning problem that you were
kind of born to solve. Butthat's not enough. Because what
ends up happening is oftentimeswe find that problem. But over
time, as other things come up inour lives, we lose focus on it.

(41:46):
So it was really this immensefocus and dedication that you
have to have to it. Even whenthings don't seem like they're
going well. And they might becompletely off the rails. You
don't give up on it, you doubledown and you keep pushing
forward. And it was thatdiscipline that he had used on

(42:10):
numerous startups that wasreally enlightening to me.

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(44:54):
A lot of people would belistening to this and thinking
you know you're talking aboutAstro notes and you're talking
about all these highlysuccessful people. But I'm just
someone who works in a store orlike me, I'm a singing teacher,
and they have a little podcaston the side, you know, how does

(45:14):
this relate to my life? And alot of people would be going
through the motions every day intheir lives and not having that
self realization that, you know,they could be doing more they
could be achieving more. So howdo people go from where they're
at? And how would the bookbenefit them.

So I think a lot of this comes down to self love,
honestly. Because if you don'tlove the person who you are,
you're never going to have theconfidence to expand the
horizons of what you think ispossible. Because you need to
have that confidence inyourself, that you can do

(45:59):
whatever it's going to take toachieve your goal. And even
though I highlight people likethese astronauts, I mean, a
great example of this is one ofthem. My profile in the book is
Chris Cassidy. And Chris has aremarkable resume, Navy Seal,
Bronze Star with valur, selectedas an astronaut becomes the

(46:20):
chief astronaut, is known ashaving more spacewalks than any
other astronaut, but maybe fiveor six other living ones. And
he's now the head of the Medalof Honor Museum in the United
States. But when I first metChris, he was 17 years old. And

(46:40):
we were doing push ups next toeach other in goose poop at
three o'clock in the morning, inthe military together, and oh.
And when I talked to Chris evennow, and I look at what has
allowed him to live the life hehas, it's because of the self

(47:01):
love that he emulates, and hegave himself permission to take
the chances that ended upresulting in where he is right
now. And part of that was makingdifficult choices, such as when
he was in seals that when he wasat Budds, basic underwater

(47:22):
demolition school that he mightget kicked out for a medical
issue, he might get kicked out.
Because he can't pass itacademically, but he is not
going to drop out. Becausementally he's not strong enough.
It was him as he was a seal,charting the path that if he
even wanted a chance to becomean astronaut, what were the

(47:44):
things that he needed to do toput himself in best position to
do that, which for him meant heneeded, he needed to get an
advanced degree. And he wantedto get into MIT. So it was then
doing whatever he needed to doto get accepted. And then even
when he was there, it was thenunderstanding how do you put the

(48:05):
application process and tobecome the astronaut. And then
even when he became it, it wasthe desire that he wanted. He
wanted to spacewalk. So he knew,in order to do that, he had to
become the best at it that hepossibly could. So it was just
this intentional drive the wholeway through his life, to

(48:25):
understand what he needed to do,and to lower that activation
energy that I was talking about,so that he had the self
confidence to take that momentumforward, take the actions that
he needed to, to build uponitself to evangelize what he
wanted to become. And I mean,that's an extreme example, but

(48:47):
it's the same thing that we needto do. And I think what people
don't realize, and you mentionedmusic, I'm right now starting
down the path of trying to teachmyself again, how to play
guitar. And I was listening toTim Ferriss talk about this,
because he's trying to teachhimself how to play drums, I
already know how to play drums.

(49:09):
But what he said, and it'sabsolutely true, is that if you
do something 15 minutes a day,throughout the year, and you're
consistent with it, you're goingto be better at that activity
than 97% of the rest of theworld. And just 15 minutes a
day, every single day.

And that is achievable. You everyone can
find 15 minutes a day. They canyou know really, they

can so it's it's just how you're utilizing your
time. So I mean, you could beusing 15 minutes a day to listen
to babble if you want to learnhow to speak Spanish, and it's
the consistency of doing that ona regular basis that makes all
the differences in the world.
There's this isn't rocketScience, if you want to have

(50:00):
better health, it's beingconsistent about the food that
you're putting in your body, thenutrients that you're putting in
the exercise that you'regetting. It's the same thing in
Chris's story. Except herealized that in order to reach
where he needed to reach, heneeded to be mentally strong,
and he needed to be physicallystrong, he had to constantly
learn. And it's just realizingthat you have to do all these

(50:23):
things and be consistent intheir application. Yeah,

I find with my students say that I
teach at a university level. Andthe greatest obstacle that my
students deal with, is limitingbelief is breaking down those
limiting beliefs is thatsomething that you find is also

(50:50):
a problem within our societythat we do walk around with
these limiting beliefs that holdus back from living the life
that we truly want to live orachieving those things that we
want to achieve? Yeah, I

believe we all become our own visionary
arsonist. And a visionaryarsonist, I love bet is someone
who with the best of intentionsfor personal growth and
achievement inadvertentlyundermines their own progress.
And I think what happens is weset these big ambitions, these
high ambitions, we dream big,but then we end up engaging in

(51:27):
behaviors that arecounterproductive to the goals.
It's similar to programming adestination into your GPS, but
then repeatedly taking detoursthat lead you farther away.
Yeah. And it's not due to a lackof desire, or ability. It's the
result of unconscious behaviorsthat are misaligned with our
intended objectives. Hmm. Yeah.
And, to me, a great example ofthis is if you have someone

(51:50):
who's listening to this, andthey want to improve their
fitness, but then they engage inprocrastination, or negative
self talk, that demotivates themdespite their genuine desire to
live healthier, their actionsare driven by fear, or
unexamined habits that lead themaway from the gym routine, or
healthy eating plan. Whatever itis, because there are sending

(52:13):
the very things that they wantto achieve in life. So signs
that you're actually a visionaryarsonist include perfectionism,
setting unrealistic goals,procrastination, negative self
talk, avoidant behaviors, it'swhen your actions consistently
contradict your personalaspirations, leading to

(52:34):
frustration, and then a sense ofbeing stuck.

And a lot of that, too, comes from
lack of self love to exactly,there's that, you know, your
self worth, also thrown into themix there. So we're gonna start
winding this up. This has beenincredible. And I'm really
inspired. I'm going to go andget your book, John. So what is

(53:04):
your legacy here?

So I wrote this for a wide group of people,
because I wanted this to informmany different camps. So I
actually dedicate the book to mykids who at the time that I
wrote it, my daughter was 17.
And my son at the time was 23.
They're now 20, and 26. But Iwanted it to be a guidebook for

(53:29):
this generation that's coming upin a world that is far different
from anything that ourgeneration faced. I mean, the
worries that they have about AIand digital changes, and how
quickly they're going to have toadapt or like nothing that we
have seen in our lifetime. Yeah.
However, what I tried to tell mykids is that when I was growing

(53:53):
up, I had huge fears myself,there are different fears. But I
went into life thinking, I'mnever going to be able to live
the dream life that I saw myparents live, I'm never going to
be able to buy the house thatthey had. And if you live in
that mode, you're never going todo it. So it's how do you create
a different mindset of howyou're approaching your life.

(54:17):
And so that's what this bookreally does for that group of
people as it helps give them thekeys to how do they approach
their life and build it in a waythat's going to make them
resistant to the hardships thatare coming their way and teach
them how to become a ConstantLearner. If you're someone who's
stuck, it will teach you how togo from being stuck like I was

(54:39):
to becoming passion struck. Howdo you what is the formula from
going and feeling like you're inquiet desperation to breaking
free from it. If you're a highachiever, you can look at the
principles and figure out whereyou sit by taking the passion
for our quiz, and then use it asa tool. set to take you to the

(54:59):
next level you want to achieve.
So it can fit. I wrote it so itwould fit multiple groups on
their journey.

What did you learn about yourself through
this process? Was theresomething that you thought, wow,
you know, I didn't realize thisabout myself. All these years, I
thought I was John miles. Andthis is the person that I
thought I was. But wow, I'vediscovered this through this

(55:30):
journey of writing the book.

But one of the things that I discovered is that
real growth is actually likefarming. It's not instant
gratification. And it requiresyou to have consistent effort
and practice, leading toexponential returns over time.
And what I have learned from allthe science that I've studied

(55:53):
and seeing what works anddoesn't is you have to be
intentional about how you alignyour actions with your
ambitions, and your long termaspirations. And to start seeing
that the lols and the plateaus,on the way to achieving those
ambitions, and then aspirationsare not failures, but stages for

(56:15):
future growth. But the mostimportant thing is the power of
choice. And it's not the bigchoices I have found in life
that end up defining us. It'sthe myriad of micro choices that
we make on a daily basis, thateither lead to a tsunami of
greatness or a valley ofdespair, because we end up being

(56:37):
consistent and making the wrongchoices, or we become
consistent, and making choiceslike I talked about with Chris
Cassidy that build upon eachother. So it's really learning
how to start lessening thatactivation energy so that you're
making more and more of thesemicro choices that build upon
each other become easier overtime, and become more windfall

(57:00):
than a headwind.

Is there anything else that you wanted to
add to this interview thatperhaps we haven't touched on
and you feel is important thatyou'd like to contribute? Or
that you feel our listenersshould know about?

Yeah, one of the favorite chapters that I have in
the book was on something that Icall the conscious engager. And
we often hear people say, I'mliving my life on autopilot. And
I think some people are, but Ithink for the vast majority of
us, it's the wrong metaphor.
Because I've spent a lot of timeover the past couple of weeks on

(57:38):
airplanes, and I guarantee thepilots who are flying it
probably 90% of the time,they're on autopilot. And when I
think of autopilot, yes, you'regoing through the motions, but
you're typically heading in apositive direction. I think the
better analogy, which I definein this chapter for how so many
of us are living our lives, isas if we're a pinball. We were

(57:59):
living a pinball life. We're asif we are that unintentional
pinball in the game. That isjust bouncing off everything
that's around us. And thedigital apparatus that has come
over the past decade, the socialmedia tools, everything is just
making this pinball life easierand easier to fall into that

(58:23):
trap. Yes. And so really whatlife then the better analogy is,
instead of letting the game playyou, because the game of life is
similar to pinball? I mean, itreally is. Yes,

because we're kind of like bouncing off
all these different, we'rehitting obstacles, aren't we in
life,

right. So the critical thing that that I found
was that ultimately, what Idiscovered when I was at that
low point in my career was I hadbecome extremely fantastic at
making other people's dreamscome true. And being the pinball
bouncing around other people'sgames, but I wasn't being

(59:11):
intentional about taking controlof the pinball and playing it
intentionally in the way that Iwanted to meaning. I was so good
at making other people's dreamscome true. I wasn't making my
own dreams come true. And thatis really the whole purpose of
our whole discussion today inthis book, is how do you

(59:31):
intentionally become the playerof the game of pinball to
influence winning the game andplaying it on your terms?

I love that. I love that because people
don't realize that they're beinginfluenced by other people,
whether it is something onsocial media, whether it's the
people around them, whether it'sin their job, there's all the
He's external influences. And wehave to really be true to who we

(01:00:04):
are and what our mission andwhat our own purpose is in life.
John, thank you so much. We aregoing to share the links to your
book to you, if people want tolearn more, what are you up to
next.

John R. Miles (01:00:19):
So, right now I am working on trying to get a
book tour underway, which I hopecould become a global book tour
been trying to really hone mykeynote apparatus. So I can
start doing those, again, on amuch larger basis. I'm currently

(01:00:40):
working on what I call thepassionate struck University,
which is taking the principlesthat are in the book and turning
them into an app and onlinecourses that people can utilize
to augment that book even more.
And I've been really fortunate Iwas recently picked up as part
of the Sirius XM network. And soI'm looking at expanding the

(01:01:01):
podcasts that I'm doing now,with the passion start podcast
and bringing on some additionalpodcasts under that umbrella.

Dr Marisa Lee Naismith (01:01:11):
Amazing well done to you. I wish you all
the very best. And I doappreciate your time. And people
go out and buy John's book. I'mgonna go and buy it. It sounds
amazing. And I resonate with somuch of what you were speaking
about on the show today. All thevery best. John, thank you very

(01:01:34):
much for your time.

John R. Miles (01:01:36):
Yeah. Marissa, thank you so much for having me.
And I really appreciate theAustralian audience. I loved my
time when I was there in Sydney,one of the best places and best
countries in the whole world. Soyes, thank you for having me on.

Dr Marisa Lee Naismith (01:01:52):
Thank you. Take care, John. Thank you
so much for listening to thisepisode of a voice and beyond. I
hope you enjoyed it as now is animportant time for you to invest
in your own self care, personalgrowth, and education. Use every
day as an opportunity to learnand to grow, so you can show up

(01:02:16):
feeling empowered and ready tolive your best life. If you know
someone who will also beinspired by this episode, please
be sure to copy and paste thelink and share it with them. Or
share it on social media and usethe hashtag a voice and beyond.
I promise you I am committed tobringing you more inspiration

(01:02:39):
and conversations just like thisone every week. And if you would
like to help me please rate andreview this podcast and cheer me
on by clicking the subscribebutton on Apple podcast right
now. I would also love to knowwhat it is that you most enjoyed
about this episode and what wasyour biggest takeaway? Please

(01:03:04):
take care and I look forward toyour company next time on the
next episode of a voice andbeyond.

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#172. Break Boundaries and Ignite Your Intentional Life with John R. Miles

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