Episode 21: Relationships, Money, & Mental Health

In this episode of A Way Forward, host Jessica Samuels is joined by CMHA Kelowna CEO Mike Gawliuk and Katie Bransfield, Director of Consumer Banking at Beem Credit Union, for a candid and practical conversation about how relationships, finances, and mental health intersect.

Money is one of the leading stressors for individuals and couples across Canada — yet it remains one of the hardest things to talk about. Together, the panel explores how to bring openness, safety, and teamwork into conversations about money, and why doing so can strengthen both your relationship and your mental well-being.

What We Cover in This Episode:
What is financial compatibility?

Katie explains why compatibility isn’t about equal income — it’s about aligned values, spending habits, expectations, and long-term goals. Understanding each other’s “money mindset” helps reduce conflict and build trust.

Why money conversations feel so hard?

Shame, past experiences, family teachings, and even unspoken expectations all shape how we interact with finances. Creating a safe, judgment-free space is essential.

How to talk about money with your partner

Practical guidance from Katie on:

Choosing the right moment

Starting with curiosity

Being transparent about income and debt

Discussing spending styles, lifestyle expectations, and shared financial plans

Checking in regularly as a team

Debt: Red flag or normal part of life?

Debt itself isn't the issue — secrecy is. Katie outlines how transparency and a realistic repayment plan matter more than the number itself.

Navigating income disparity

Couples don’t need to earn the same amount to be financially compatible. What matters is shared values, open communication, and agreeing on how to manage resources together.

When to seek outside support

Financial institutions and professionals can provide clarity, structure, and reassurance. Mike reinforces that reaching out for help — financial or mental health — is a sign of strength, not failure.

The mental health impact of financial stress

Mike shares insight and data on how finances affect well-being:

41% of Canadians name money as their biggest stressor

Nearly half lose sleep over financial concerns

Shame and stigma are major barriers to seeking help

He also highlights everyday mental health strategies: noticing changes in mood or sleep, staying connected socially, exercising, and reaching out for professional support when needed.

Key Takeaways:

Start the money conversation early and often.

Transparency builds trust — secrecy breaks it down.

You don’t need identical money styles, just shared understanding and a joint plan.

Financial stress impacts mental health, and mental health impacts financial decision-making.

Seeking support from financial experts or mental health professionals can make a significant difference.

Approach finances as a team: same goals, same direction, shared understanding.

Resources & Links:

For mental health resources, financial wellness tools, or past episodes, visit the A Way Forward podcast page at cmhakelowna.org.

Have questions or suggestions? Email us at [e-mail]
.

Episode Sponsor

This episode is supported by Beem Credit Union. With deep roots in BC and a commitment to your financial wellness, Beem proudly backs conversations that help build stronger, healthier communities.

Episode Transcript

Jessica Samuels (00:00):
Hello, I'm Jessica Samuels. Welcome to A

(00:02):
Way Forward presented by BeamCredit Union. I'd like to
acknowledge this podcast takesplace on the ancestral
traditional and unceded lands ofthe Okanagan Silic people.
Relationship, money and mentalhealth. That is the topic for
today's episode.
Joining CMHA Kelowna CEO MikeGullick and I is Katie
Bransfield. She's the directorof consumer banking for Beam

(00:26):
Credit Union. She's been at thisa long time. And she's got some
very good practical advice onhow to navigate these difficult
conversations if they come up inyour relationship, but also
hopefully, how you can preventthem in the first place. Bean
Credit Union is proud to sponsortoday's episode.
With deep roots in BC and acommitment to your financial

(00:49):
journey, Bean believes wellness,mental and financial starts with
support you can count on. Katie,thank you so much for being
here. Let's start off right offthe top. What is financial
compatibility in a relationship?And why is it so important?

Katie Bransfield (01:07):
Well, compatibility is less about
having the same income and moreabout having a similar approach
to money. It's the alignment ofvalues, habits and expectations
around spending, saving debt,long term goals. It means you
understand how each other thinksabout money and can make
decisions better withoutconstant conflict or confusion.

(01:27):
How important it

Jessica Samuels (01:28):
is? Yeah, it sounds like it's going to be
very important.

Katie Bransfield (01:33):
Yeah, it's extremely important. Far more
than people like to admit. Manyis one of the money is one of
the top stressors inrelationships, not because
couples don't love each other,but because they often have
unspoken or mismatchedexpectations. So when partners
are financially compatible,everything from day to day
spending to big life decisionslike buying a home, having kids

(01:55):
is just a little less stressful.Right.
And you

Jessica Samuels (01:58):
were to you went through that. And that's
such a great response. Throughthat, you know, you kind of
touched along a few things. AndI was just envisioning possible
scenarios in there, right? Eveneven like the value you said
that people place on money, alot of money to me may not be a
lot of money to somebody else.
Those things that we come intothe relationship with baggage

(02:19):
from our well, I shouldn't saybaggage, but just learnings from
our childhood, or maybe pastrelationships, or all of those
things. So I can imagine thatthese things are very important,
just like you said. So whenwe're navigating these
conversations. So the first isidea that recognizing that these
conversations are important. Howdo we manage those

(02:40):
conversations?
What are some of the key thingsto go over and what are some of
the things that we should makesure that we talk about?

Katie Bransfield (02:47):
Yeah, the biggest key to talking about
money with a partner is creatinga really safe space that feels
safe, judgment free andintentional. Most people carry,
like you said, emotions, habitsand even a little shame around
money. So the how matters justas much as the what. Talking
about money, choosing a calmmoment, start with curiosity, be

(03:10):
transparent about income anddebt. The must have topics, I
would say, are spending habits,saving priorities and debt
lifestyle expectations and howyou'll share those costs.
You don't have to have theidentical money styles, just
open communication and a sharedgame plan.

Jessica Samuels (03:28):
Right. So even if person one has a little bit
of a different money style,person two or B or whatever you
want to say is is is has a theirown set of kind of ideas around
as long as you can come togethersomeplace in the middle and
agree to move forward. You know,something else that you said off

(03:48):
the top was interesting. It'snot like you have to make the
same amount of money. That's notwhat compatibility.
It's that middle part, right?

Katie Bransfield (03:55):
It's finding that common ground. Yeah, right.

Jessica Samuels (03:57):
Okay. Now you mentioned debt in there, and
being transparent and creating asafe space. So it's a two way
street when we're talking aboutdebt. If, if I'm entering a
relationship with a large amountof debt, or if somebody or if
your partner, you you recognizethat they have a lot of debt,

(04:17):
first of all, they shared thatwith you. What kind of approach
should we take?
And how do you navigate that?Because that can really show
disparity in how each of youapproaches money. So give us
some

Katie Bransfield (04:31):
tips about that. Well, itself isn't a red
flag. It's how the personhandles the debt that matters.
Someone having debt isn't anautomatic deal breaker. What
would be concerning is ifthey're hiding it or there's
secrecy around it or there isn'ta plan to manage it.
Plenty of responsible peoplehave debt. The key is to
transparency and the realisticrepayment plan. Debt doesn't

(04:54):
predict the success of arelationship, but secrecy around
debt does add to the stress in arelationship.

Jessica Samuels (05:01):
Right. And sometimes this is a quote from
Mike that he often says, it'snot necessarily what the thing
is. So it's not necessarily thedebt. May be it is like what it
does the behavior around it.

Katie Bransfield (05:11):
Yeah, absolutely.

Jessica Samuels (05:12):
And preparing yourself. So let's let's stop
putting it putting it to theother person. Let's say I'm
someone with a large amount ofdebt. Mean, you know, we've we
talked about shame and stigmawhen it comes to mental health
as well. How do I have thatconversation with my partner to
say, okay, let's not frame thedebt, whether it's good or bad

(05:34):
or anything like that to justsay like, this is I have this
debt, I'm going to enter thisrelationship with you with how
can we navigate this?

Katie Bransfield (05:43):
Yeah, Again, it's about that transparency and
setting up the plan. And do youagree on the plan? Setting the
budget, whatever that might bearound that. And again, checking
in all the time, whether that'sten minutes once a month as a
couple to sit down, talk aboutyour finances. It really does

(06:03):
put everything out on the tableand just allows you to discuss
through any challenges you'rehaving.

Jessica Samuels (06:09):
And so then we did talk about income disparity.
Can you tell me or give us someadvice on how to navigate income
disparity? Because that can alsobe a difficult situation, debt
aside and spending aside, itcould, it could maybe feel like
you're not on even ground whenyou're when you're going into a

(06:29):
relationship like that. So someadvice on how to navigate that?

Katie Bransfield (06:32):
Yeah, I think again, having those, you know,
open conversations, it's notnecessarily what you're bringing
into the relationship. Sotogether, you are making a plan.
It's really about those valuesand alignment on what is
important to you as a couple. Aslong as you've got that
alignment, it shouldn't reallymatter too much on who's
bringing in more or less. You'rein it together.

Jessica Samuels (06:54):
Right, right. And I'm going to say it because
I know that you're being verygracious and you won't. But I
would imagine at some point,seeking support, not necessarily
help, but support from financialinstitutions or financial
informed financial folks tomaybe help navigate that. I can
imagine that can be a way thatfolks can kind of navigate these

(07:17):
conversations.

Katie Bransfield (07:17):
Sure. People don't instinctively want
institution to get that advice,but that's exactly what they're
there for. And they're going tolisten to what's going on with
you. And they're probably goingto be able to give you some
advice that maybe you hadn'tthought of. Because we do see
all different kinds ofsituations and so can really add
that perspective thatconversation that you're having.

Jessica Samuels (07:39):
Right. I'm going to switch it over to Mike
now. Just kind of building offwhat Katie said, oftentimes in
mental health, what we talkabout, or whether it's you know,
navigating the health caresystem, we talk about getting
the help you need. And sometimesthe help you need is an expert.
And so financial help, expert orinstitution would be part of

(08:01):
that.
When we're talking about that,let's just go back a little bit.
The navigation of the cost ofliving, the mental health toll
on folks right now. We havetalked about that before on this
podcast. It's significant.

Mike Gawliuk (08:16):
Absolutely, it's significant. When we look at
some of the data in Canada,ultimately, forty one percent of
people highlight money as thebiggest stressor in their life,
and that's up from thirty eightpercent around the pandemic.
Forty nine percent of peoplelose sleep over the fact that

(08:42):
they're running into financialchallenges and problems and
issues. So it's definitelytaking its toll. To your point
around navigating the system,another interesting stat that I
did find is, as far as theresearch, in terms of someone's
outlook, their optimism aroundtheir financial future is

(09:04):
greater when they accesssomeone, a financial
professional.
And so in getting helpspecifically on the financial
side, it makes good sense to dothat.

Jessica Samuels (09:16):
And so much of shame and stigma would be
involved in that. First of all,have to make sure that, well, I
don't know. You'd have to makesure, but I feel like that first
part of that conversation thatKatie was mentioning of having
that transparency with yourpartner first, having that safe
space, approaching it as a teamand then going to another
individual to help you movethrough. I mean, those are some

(09:38):
difficult steps for folks totake.

Mike Gawliuk (09:40):
Oh, absolutely. I mean, some of the other data
show that when it comes to shameand stigma, it's significant
around the issue of money. It'sabout fifty six percent of
Canadians struggle with that.And again, when you talk about
what are some of the waysforward, ultimately talking

(10:01):
about it is one of those waysforward. Again, you know,
starting with your partner, thatreally nonjudgmental listening
and being able to speak aboutit, and then being able to go to
a professional is one of thethings that can help, you know,
manage finances and hopefullyhelp the relationship to be

(10:27):
stronger.

Jessica Samuels (10:28):
That's such a great point that you talk about,
you know, bringing it forward,because even the way that we're
framing this is that, you know,sometimes financial situations
are due to things that arebeyond our control. And I do
think that some individuals dohave a fair amount of shame
associated with that. And whenwe're talking about these days

(10:51):
and ages and times right now, Imean, folks are struggling
financially, and also strugglingwith their mental health. So I
think that that inward, look toyourself to say that, you know,
don't put that shame on yourselfand don't carry the mental
health burden. We've talkedabout the general things of how

(11:12):
to manage your mental health.
What are those general mentalhealth things, Mike, that can be
applicable even in thesesituations when we're talking
about financial stress?

Mike Gawliuk (11:20):
I mean, certainly is to be aware of how you're
feeling, how that stressmanifests itself physically, and
if there's any significantchange or difference in mood,
appetite, sleep, all those sortsof things. Financial stress can

(11:41):
ultimately cause anxiety anddepression. So to be aware of
that is important because inthose cases that could indicate
there's a need for further helpthrough counseling. But in terms
of taking care of yourself, interms of managing yourself in
the face of those challenges,It's things like exercise, it's

(12:05):
things like getting a goodnight's sleep, not isolating,
socializing. And as challengingas it can be, finding someone
safe to talk about it becausethe ability to have that
conversation and the connectionwith stress reduction is proven
time and again.

(12:26):
So those are all very importantways to try and manage yourself
in the face of what can be areally challenging and difficult
situation.

Jessica Samuels (12:35):
Right. Okay. Thank you both. Katie, just
before we wrap up, let's justrecap what we are encouraging
people to do. Have theconversations, be open and
honest and transparent with yourpartner.
Also try to do the same withyourself. And if you need to
seek outside advice from afinancial institution or

(12:57):
financial counseling orcounseling. Is basically what
you're saying?

Katie Bransfield (13:00):
Absolutely. And get on the same page, be a
team. Go together forward.

Jessica Samuels (13:07):
Yes. It's like be a team, right? Don't say go
together. Okay. Thank you somuch.
You know, starting thoseconversations really is the key
to managing financial stress andyour mental health. So we
appreciate Katie's advice. Andof course, our CMHA Kelowna CEO,
Mike Golic, has advice with thatas well. If you have questions

(13:27):
about this or some of theresources that are out there
through CMHA Kelowna or otherinstitutions, you can always go
to the A Way Forward podcastpage on cmhacolona.org. You can
always email us [e-mail].
Until then, please do take goodcare. This episode is supported

(13:48):
by Beam Credit Union. With deeproots in BC and a commitment to
your financial journey, Beamproudly backs mental health
conversations that help buildstronger, healthier communities.