Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
This is a world on
mad.
unknown (00:04):
This is a worldbone
mad.
SPEAKER_01 (00:09):
This is the world
gone mad.
I'm Jeff Allen Wolf, and welcometo the Friday edition.
The part of the week where lateron my podcast I bring you news
from the edge of sanity.
I try to lighten the load alittle before you head into the
weekend.
News from the edge of sanity,you know, the kind of stories
(00:29):
that make you pause mid-coffeeand say, you've got to be
kidding me.
But first, let's talk about thereal news stories from the last
48 hours, which sometimes rivalthe bizarre ones.
Okay, everyone, here we go.
Comey, Benjamin Netanyahu,Bondi, Government Shutdown,
(00:50):
Craziness, Stupidity, andMtupidity from Trump and MAGA.
You know, I'm thoroughlyconvinced, listeners, that every
day is a WTF episode, not justmy WTF Wednesdays.
Multiple lunatic rabbitsscrambling down the rabbit hole
is how I describe theRepublicans and Trump.
(01:14):
Okay.
First up, James Comey, the FBIdirector who managed to make
everyone in America hate him atsome point, is now indicted.
Federal charges.
And Donald Trump is celebratinglike he just won a lifetime
supply of Big Macs.
Trump insists this is aboutjustice.
(01:37):
Please.
Donald's definition of justiceis like Judge Judy with a
vendetta.
Okay, today it's Comey.
Tomorrow it can be judges,journalists, or maybe the kid in
your neighborhood who dared towrite democracy in a history
essay.
(01:57):
This is a president using theJustice Department like it is a
demolition derby.
The car is on fire, the crowd isscreaming, and Trump is the guy
grinning behind the wheelholding a sledgehammer.
And the hypocrisy is almost art.
(02:18):
The man who screamed witch huntfor years is now running one.
He yelled witch hunt so much in2017, you half expected Trump to
show up in Salem with apitchfork.
Now Trump is gleefully tossingnames into his own cauldron and
calling it justice.
But here's the truth Justice isnot his brand to slap on a
(02:44):
baseball cap.
Revenge is not the same as law.
Chaos is not leadership.
And the only way to stop thiscircus is not to spare its
participation.
Show up, vote, speak out, do notshrug, listeners.
(03:06):
Because nothing terrifyterrorizes Trump more than being
held accountable, not byenemies, but by ordinary people
who refuse to let Donald turndemocracy into a freak show.
Okay, Benjamin Netanyahu, whotook the stage of the United
Nations, declared that Israelmust finish the job in Gaza.
(03:30):
And as he launched into thatspeech, more than 100 diplomats
from over 50 countries stood upand walked out.
Picture that.
A global walkout mid-speech.
Not booze, not chance, just aquiet thud of chairs as the
(03:53):
world said nope.
Net Yao wanted to projectdefiance.
What he got was a mostly emptyroom.
Let's be honest.
That is not strength.
That is the internationalversion of everyone muting you
on a Zoom meeting.
(04:13):
You can keep talking, but no oneis listening.
And here's where it getsdangerous Israel is doubling
down.
Netanyahu is rejecting any talkof a Palestinian state and
insisting the military campaignmust continue.
But if your allies are alreadyheading for the door, what
(04:35):
happens when they stop walkingback in?
The symbolism here is brutal.
The United Nations is supposedto be the place where world
leaders at least pretend to getalong.
Instead, it turned into alive-action protest march
against Netanyahu.
No speeches, no fireworks, justsilence.
(04:58):
And that silence was louder thananything Netanyahu said into the
microphone.
So the image is clear to us.
Netanyahu at the podium,defiant.
Rows empty seats staring back athim.
And the world sending onemessage without saying a single
word.
We are done listening to you.
(05:22):
I just wish the rest of theworld would feel the same way
about Donald Trump.
And speaking of Donnie Boy,Donnie just slapped, here we go
again, new tariffs oneverything.
That's right.
New tariffs on everything.
(05:43):
From pharmaceuticals tofurniture, like he's Oprah
handing out free cars.
You get a tariff, you get atariff.
Everybody gets a tariff.
Except in this episode of theprice is wrong.
The prize is higher costs foryou and me.
The big one is a 100% tariff onbranded drugs.
(06:05):
Think about that.
Every pill with a shiny namefrom overseas just doubled in
price.
Unless, here we go, the companyagrees to build a factory in the
United States.
Trump calls it tough on bigpharma.
What it really means is yourprescription bill is about to
(06:26):
look like the receipt from aVegas buffet where you
accidentally ordered the lobsterfor the whole table.
It doesn't stop there.
50% on kitchen cabinets, 30% onupholstered furniture, 25% on
heavy trucks built abroad.
(06:47):
Congratulations, America.
Even your sofa is now a nationalsecurity threat.
Trump sells this as protectingAmerican jobs.
But the math says otherwise.
When you double the cost ofmedicine and you jack up the
price of furniture, you're notpunishing China.
(07:08):
You're punishing yourgrandmother, who just wants her
arthritis pills and a reclinerthat does not bankrupt her.
Here's the absurd part.
Trump is calling this Americafirst, while America is the one
footing the bill.
The drug companies will be fine.
The cabinet makers will be fine.
(07:28):
The sofa industry will survive.
The people who will not be fineare the ones who need insulin
and a couch that does notrequire a second mortgage.
So yes, the tariffs sound tough,but tough on who?
Because if the scoreboard saysChina zero, America zero, and
(07:53):
your wallet negative$1,000, thenmaybe the game is rigged.
Hey, Donald is getting moreunhinged each and every day.
One would expect his head toexplode any moment.
Alright, the Trump White Houseis now telling federal agencies
(08:15):
to prepare for mass firings ifthe government shuts down.
Not furloughs, permanentlayoffs.
This is like saying the Czechengine light came on.
So instead of fixing it, we'rejust going to drive the car off
a cliff.
Here's the kicker.
Before the first pink slip iseven printed, Trump is already
(08:39):
blaming everyone with me, theDemocrats.
He says if workers lose theirjobs, it will be the Democrats'
fault.
That's freaking absurd.
Donald is the one shutting thedoors.
He's the one swinging the axe,but Donald wants you to believe
Democrats are sneaking in atnight with the pink slips.
(09:00):
You know, it's like tossing abanana peel on the floor,
slipping on it yourself, andthen suing the janitor.
This is not abstract budgettalk.
These are real people who keepyour food safe, your social
security checks moving, your VAhospitals running, your planes
in the air.
(09:22):
Fire them, and daily lifecollapses.
Yet Trump will stand at thepodium with a straight face and
say, look what Democrats did.
Donald lights the fuse, Donaldruns the fireworks show, and
then Donald blames the neighborsfor the explosion.
And that's his playbook,Manufacturer Chaos, then point
(09:45):
the finger.
Trump is treating the governmentlike a demolition derby where he
crashes the car, blamesDemocrats for the wreck, and
then sells tickets for thereplay.
Trump is dangling workers likeprops in a reality show
cliffhanger, just so he candeliver the line, Democrats made
(10:06):
me do it.
So, yes, this shutdown threat isserious, but the punchline is
that the chaos is Trump's.
The firings are his.
The damage to be is his.
And he's trying to build theother party for the wreckage.
That's not strength.
That's lunacy.
(10:27):
And the only way to shut it downfor good is at the ballot box.
Okay, let's get away fromstupidity and lunacy and Trump
and his world of destruction.
It's time for News from the Edgeof Sanity, where I talk about
stupidity, lunacy, and bizarre,crazy stories that actually
(10:51):
happen.
Wow, sounds uh very familiar,doesn't it?
Okay, imagine you're on a flightfrom Charlotte to Las Vegas.
You have your pretzels, yourginger ale, maybe you're
thinking about hitting a slotmachine the second you land.
And then one passenger decidestoday is audition day for
America's craziest person in thesky.
(11:13):
She is pacing the aisles,screaming at crew, threatening
flight attendants.
At one point, she actually isbragging that she once tried to
poison her father.
Okay, that is the point whereeveryone else on the plane is
looking around like, so uh who'sactually in charge here?
Because last we checked, there'sno federal marshal hiding in row
(11:38):
22.
What do you do with a passengerlike this at 30,000 feet?
You cannot exactly pull themover and let them out.
You can't throw her in theoverhead bin because there are
already too many rollerbags upthere.
You cannot lock her in thebathroom because half the plane
is already waiting in line.
(11:59):
So the crew goes full DIYjustice.
Forget law enforcement, forgetsecurity protocols, out come the
zip ties, out comes the ducttape.
And this woman is not justbuckled in, she's gift wrapped,
arms pinned, mouth muffled,strapped tighter than a mattress
(12:21):
in the back of a U-Haul.
Imagine looking across the aisleand seeing a fellow passenger
shrink wrapped to Seat 14C likea Costco sample nobody asked
for.
Flight attendants are walking bywith drink carts like nothing is
happening.
Peanuts, pretzels, diet coke.
Oh, and ignore the hostagesituation in seat 14.
(12:44):
You know it's bad when a planefull of strangers agrees that
the safest option is to tape agrown adult to upholstery.
This is where we're at at 2025.
The airlines do not just servedrinks and peanuts, they now
provide arts and crafts,seatbelt extension, vomit bag,
(13:07):
and duct tape.
Next time you board a flight,forget the safety card.
The real emergency instructionsare one roll of duct tape away.
Okay.
The State Fair of Texas hasopened its gates again.
You know what that means?
Fried everything, oversizedeverything, and food creations
(13:32):
that make cardiologists rubtheir hands together like bond
villains.
This is not just a fair.
This is where culinary restraintcomes to die.
You walk through the gates, youare hit with smells of frying
oil, sugar, bacon, and whateverbrave scientist decided to dunk
(13:53):
a Twinkie and batter.
Every year there is acompetition to see who can
create the most ridiculous dishat the fair: fried butter, fried
coke, fried bubblegum.
It is less about eating and moreabout testing how far the human
digestive system can be pushedbefore it files for bankruptcy.
(14:15):
And this year, they unveiled themasterpiece.
It's called the UFO SmashBurger.
Already that sounds like a stunshow, not lunch.
I should get my friend Bill fromTales from South Florida podcast
to review this dish.
Picture a flying saucer-shapedsandwich stacked with beef,
(14:39):
chicken, steak, and vegetables.
But the real twist is how youeat it.
Alongside the burger, they handyou plastic syringes filled with
sauces.
Yes, syringes.
You're not dipping fries orsqueezing a packet.
You are literally injecting yourdinner like it is insulin.
(15:03):
So now you're standing at thefair surrounded by screaming
kids and Ferris wheels whilejabbing barbecue sauce into a
UFO burger like you're giving ita flu shot.
Somewhere a doctor is weepinginto his clipboard.
This is not food.
This is performance art.
It's half snack, half medicalprocedure.
(15:26):
Forget blue ribbon pies.
The State Fair of Texas nowgives you the chance to pretend
you are a burger surgeon.
Scalpel, syringe, ketchup,mustard.
Close them up, nurse.
Patient did not survive, but atleast it was delicious.
(15:47):
In Texas, the police still ridehorses, not just for parades,
not just for photo ops, but foractual patrols.
So picture this the sun beatingdown, the clop of hooves on the
pavement, and an officertowering over you on horseback
asking questions.
(16:09):
Already that feels likesomething out of a Western
reboot.
Now the officer is talking to aman during a routine check.
Nothing dramatic yet, justcasual conversation, and then
the cop decides to crack a joke.
He looks at this man and says,and I quote, I have a
narcotics-smelling horse righthere.
(16:32):
Now most of us would laugh.
Some might raise an eyebrow.
Maybe even ask, wait, horses cando that?
But this guy that the cop saidthis comment to, I have a
narcotics-smelling horse righthere.
This guy does not stop to askanything.
He does not chuckle.
(16:52):
He does not call the officercrazy.
He does not even think for asecond.
He goes straight to panic mode.
And in that split second, theman takes off running, sprinting
away like the horse really issome kind of giant drug-sniffing
bloodhound in cowboy boots.
Forget reason, forget logic, theman is gone.
(17:13):
The body cam footage catches itall.
The horse just stands therechewing, the officer is half
stunned, half amused, and thesuspect is sprinting like he has
just been caught by a psychicpony with X-ray vision.
Spoiler alert, the man does notmake it far.
He is chased down and arrested.
(17:34):
And the best part is thepunchline never changes.
Somewhere in the official reportis a line about a
narcotic-smelling horse and asuspect who bolted because he
believed it.
This is not law enforcement.
This is sketch comedy.
Picture Key West, the IslandVibe.
(17:59):
Tourists with pina coladas,chickens crossing the road,
scooters buzzing by.
It is paradise with a JimmyBuffett soundtrack.
Now, drop a little chaos intothe mix.
Police get a call about a womanin a white SUV waving a gun and
shouting about a stolen phone.
(18:21):
People scatter.
Imagine trying to enjoy yourfrozen margarita while somebody
is pacing the street claimingthieves are everywhere.
The Florida Keys are accustomedto weird, but this is next
level.
Officers arrive, and the lady isfurious, pointing, yelling,
insisting, her phone has beenstolen.
(18:42):
To her, this is a full-scaleheist.
She is the victim.
She is ready for war over it.
You can almost hear hershouting, find my phone or else.
Now, this is the moment wherenormal person might stop and
think.
Maybe retrace a few steps, notthis lady.
(19:03):
She goes straight to brandishinga firearm, threatening people in
broad daylight, like she isstarring in the world's worst
remake of CSI, Key West.
And then comes the reveal.
And after all the drama, afterthe police presence, after the
neighbors terrified, where wasthe missing phone?
(19:27):
Sitting quietly on the floor matof her own car.
She was arrested on multiplecharges.
Her phone was returned to itsrightful owner, which in case
anyone forgot, was her.
And somewhere, Jimmy Buffett islooking down thinking, this is
(19:47):
not wasting away inMargaritaville.
This is just wasting everybody'stime.
That was your news from The Edgeof Sanity, now a regular segment
on My Fridays.
A friendly reminder that whilethe headlines were terrifying,
the sidelines are completelyunhinged.
I'm not saying reality is upsidedown, but I just watched Common
(20:11):
Sense use Google Maps, MysteryExits, and crash through a
Waffle House.
Now, usually this is the placewhere I give out the email or
phone number, but the truth isnot many of you, the listeners,
are using it, and that's fine.
The show is still here, so am I,if you ever wanted to reach me.
(20:33):
This has been a World Gone Man.
I'm Jeff Allen Wolf.
I'll be back Monday becausesomeone has to say the shit that
no one else will.
And apparently, that job's mine.
Until then, Wolfpack listeners,stay skeptical, stay focused,
and most of all, stay hopeful.
SPEAKER_00 (20:53):
There is chaos in
the world.
And we need to stand up andfreezer a democracy.
(21:14):
This is a world,