March 11, 2024 • 33 mins
Anna and Sarah decide to recap the past two months, discussing how they have been doing with their priorities and focusing on God. Goals/resolutions are not always easy to have discipline with, but keeping our eyes on God's path makes self-discipline doable and more realistic.
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Episode Transcript
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Oh, am I supposed to go? Sure. Or do you go? No, you go. You're introducing us, remember?
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That's weird. What do I say? Nervous! Do you want me to introduce us? No, it's fine.
Hey guys, welcome back to our Worship Warriors podcast.
Hi friends and welcome back to the podcast. It's been a while. I got sick, then she got
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sick, and everybody's been sick, but we're back! And today we're going to be talking
about kind of, is it three months since New Year's? A couple months ago we did talk about
New Year's resolutions on the podcast, didn't we? That's the thing that happened. And so
we're going to be, I think, kind of discussing how our goals are going. And not just New
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Year's goals, like, goals in general. Well, and we kind of discussed focusing more on,
what did we say we were going to talk about today? Oh, just like with your goals and resolutions,
whether they be New Year's resolutions or just in general goals that you suddenly have,
you know, just to make sure that your eyes are staying focused on God, no matter whether
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your goal be something little or big or in between. Silly, or yeah. I think we just were
going to talk about maybe some verses that would help us personally, maybe have helped
us or that we are going to start looking at to help us stay focused on God. And then we
might talk about our resolutions. No, there's not really. Sorry if you get bored. Yeah,
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this is supposed to be really boring. Click out now. No, I'm using a wrist psychology
on them. Oh, okay. It's working. How do we do this? You intro and I start. Yeah, that's
what we've been doing. So we've been a while. Let's not break tradition. Okay, so I have
four verses. I don't remember what they all say. I'm just going to read them and the Holy
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Spirit guide us on discussion. And then Anna has a couple, I think. I didn't mean to, but
all of mine are from Psalm. So my first one for sure is a good one to help me focus on
God. Let me tell you really fast. I am somebody who, I don't know if I was always like this.
I don't remember, honestly. But now I'm very much someone who in order to like, the most
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motivated I'm going to get is with harsh truths thrown at me. Like harsh truths. When those
are thrown at me, I'm like, okay, you're right. I need to get going. And not everyone is like
that. Obviously, some people need it way more gentle. And some people need the harsh truths
like I do. And some people are kind of in between. It depends on the situation. But
I'm a very harsh truth person now. So that being said, my first verse is Psalm 14 two.
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And it says in ESV, the Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man to see if there
are any who understand who seek after God. So I read this verse not that long ago. And
well, I guess it's been kind of well, it's only March. It feels way later in the year.
That's why I was like, because of three months since the new year. Like, yeah, okay. So it
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has been somewhat recent within the past couple months. It just feels longer. And I was praying
through Psalm. And so I was reading this as I was praying. And when I read this verse,
I was thinking, oh, my gosh, the Lord is looking down from heaven at me to see if I understand
meaning to see if I'm seeking after him. And in here, my little note down here says, for
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understand, it means for those who are acting wisely. And I'm like, so the Lord is looking
down at me and Anna and everyone else. But to make it personable, like he's looking at
me and saying, is she seeking after me? Is she acting wisely? Is she like living a life
that shows that she understands the truth that I have given her and told her? And so
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when I read that, it was like one of the most convicting verses that's convicting me. And
so I like I'm like, we're laughing, but it's like, it's true. Yeah. And so to me, that
was the harsh truth that really motivated me, especially like, for a good while after
that, like not just a day or two, but for a while after that, I was like, oh my gosh,
but that verse that I prayed through the other day, like I don't remember what I said after
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that to God, but I just stopped at this first and I was like, it's like, I can't go any
further because I feel like I'm not acting wisely. And you know, and maybe, maybe I was,
I mean, I feel like when I look at myself, I think I'm just this wretched person. I am
wretched without God, but like, so I don't mean this in a high and mighty way, just hear
me out. But I feel like I think I'm not acting out what the Holy Spirit is telling me to
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do ever. But I know I am. Right. I know I am. I just know that I screw up so much inwardly
with my thoughts and you know, my mindset, my mentality that it feels like I never act
according to what the Holy Spirit tells me to do. Yeah. And I feel like it's okay and
healthy to have a mindset of I am nothing without God. It's good to have that. You should
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always be humble at the Lord's feet, but also I feel like you could also beat yourself down
a little bit too much. Right. There's a fine line. There's a fine balance. Yeah. And so
I struggle with that, but this verse really helped me like push forward with my goals
that I was having for myself in my walk with God because it was like, am I living a life
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that shows that I understand God's truth? Yeah. Actually, I'm not really sure where
to start with mine because I got some good ones that have been really speaking to me
lately. But I think the one I want to start with is actually Philippians 4, 8 through
9. And I'll just read it and I'll tell you why I chose it. Finally, brothers, whatever
is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
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whatever is commendable, if there's any excellence, if there's anything worthy of praise, think
about these things which you have learned and received and heard and seen in me practice
these things and the God of peace will be with you. And I think I had this revelation
the other day where I was like, man, I feel like in my mind, like I'm always bent or like
I'm always so quick to think bad thoughts towards people or think a bad word if like
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something goes wrong or I'm always like, I feel like my mind is full of such junk. And
when I'm not focused on the Lord, like, it's amazing how quickly I get off path the path.
And then my mind goes back to that junk every single time without fail. And like, this isn't
a revelation I've had like for the first time in my life. But it was just like I was I was
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sitting there and I was like, why am I such why am I caught up in some, like certain sin
cycles that they don't want to be caught up in anymore or whatever. And I was like, well,
it's because you're not filling your mind with good things. You're not filling your
mind and your heart with the Lord. And what the Holy Spirit wants you like you're not
filling your heart, your heart and mind with God's Word. So like you're not going to have
kind of like a reservoir of goodness to fall back on when you're going through a hard time
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or when you're tempted to sin. And so that just hit me really hard the other day, like
literally earlier this week, where I was like, I don't know, I was kind of like, man, I hate,
you know, I'm harrow myself to when I said I'm like, I hate myself. Why am I like thinking
like this? Why am I doing these things? Whatever. And I'm like, Anna, it's because you've not
been reading your Bible lately. You've not been in God's Word. You've not had any. You
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haven't been talking to them. Yeah. Yeah. And I haven't been focusing on things that
are lovely, pure, honorable, noble, you know, the whole list goes on and on. But if you
practice these things, think about these things, the God of peace will be with you and you
won't think about all this other junk. You won't be as bent towards thinking about this
other junk. The more and more time you spend with the Lord, the more you fill your heart
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and your mind with the things of God. Yeah. So. And sometimes we think things aren't junk
that we're filling our minds with because it's not really good or bad. It seems like
it's just in the middle. Right? Kind of mindless consumption. Yeah. But mindless consumption,
too much of that is going is junk because then you're just consuming that mindless,
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whatever it is. And you're doing that more than you're filling it up with God. Right.
Usually, at least in anything that you place above God is an idol. Yeah. Yeah. Even if
it doesn't seem bad on the surface. Right. So I'm going to skip that. OK, yeah, this
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one is a little convicting as well for me. It's Psalm 27 for one thing have I asked of
the Lord that I will seek after that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days
of my life. Basically, this convicted me because again, a harsh truth, because I need the conviction
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in order to keep going. I thrive off. I hate conviction, but I also thrive off of it because
it's a harsh truth. That's all these verses may reflect that. I don't know. I can't remember.
But it says all the days of my life. I'm not going to be able to dwell in the house of
the Lord all the days of my life here on earth. I'm not seeking after him all the time. Like
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if my eyes are not looking at him, my heart, the eyes of my heart, the heart of my eyes,
the eyes of my heart are not seeking after him every day, then I'm not going to be.
I mean, yes, I'm still safe. I have that security. I will be going to heaven. But like the eternal
goodness that I receive here on earth and that others receive through me whenever I'm
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seeking after God. Yeah, every day I'm not going to have that. And I won't have that
the same amount of like I won't have peace all the time and joy all the time. And, you
know, so on and so forth. Like I could go into detail about it, I guess, but there's
no need. So I don't know. So that was just kind of convicting for me because it's like
I have to be seeking after him every day. Yeah, I can't look away for a moment. And
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that sounds like you. I saw that I have to look at the Lord. Right. But you should because
when you don't, your life is poop. Like, yeah, you know, it's just and it becomes quick.
Yeah. And the closer you get to God and the more freedom you experience through your relationship,
with him, you will see what we mean when we say like, you're you're you really do experience
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peace like so much peace and so much joy and so much love. And you're you know, all of
these things that you struggle with slowly because you're being transformed slowly go
away. And and so more peace and freedom come from that. And you know, or whatever, so on
and so forth. There's a lot to it. But that's what I got out of it, at least. The one this
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verse is on my mind, and it like literally popped up in my mind as I was in line getting
coffee the other day. And the lady who was checking me out was so nice. And I don't know,
it was very kind. And she made me think about this verse. But then that led me to think
about the first itself even more because a woman like brought this first mind. So anyway,
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this might seem weird to you, but that's how my brain works. The verses, Galatians six,
nine through 10, which says, And let us not grow weary of doing good for in due season,
we will reap if we do not give up. So then as we have opportunity, let us do good to
everyone, and especially to those who are the household of faith. And really, I just
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thought about like the part where because she was very good to me, and she was very
kind and just like extra nice, you know, those people are just extra nice, like go above
and beyond to like compliment you or to like, you know, tell you have a good day or whatever.
And it was literally just like a 30 second interaction while she was checking me out,
you know, from getting my coffee, right. But then like, when I got to work, I looked at
the verse really quick, because I had a minute before like some kids showed up. Oh, what
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does the verse say? And so little did I know that like later that week, that verse would
come to me more to me. And in that I kind of struggle, I had some hard times at work
where I was facing some issues, not even with my boss, it was like, just knowing that I
was doing the right thing, but not getting recognized for doing the right thing. I don't
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know how to describe it without going into too much detail. But like realizing like,
hey, I've been doing better. I've been like, you know, because there's some areas where
I was struggling, high management and stuff. But I've been doing better. And so like, I
wasn't like, and I was still getting, I don't know how to describe it. But anyway, without,
yeah, without having to give too much detail, because I really don't know how to say what
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I need to say without actually saying it. That versus way encouraging to me just to
not wait, grow weary and doing what I need to be good, which is to be the best teacher
to these children that I can be to tell them about Jesus, read them a story from the Bible
every day, express to them how much Jesus loves them, and then do my best to teach them
and educate them on like their letters and tracing their names and basic stuff like that.
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Because that's what we're all doing. It's not very exciting. But it is to them and to
you. It's right. It's true. When they have a breakthrough, oh my gosh, today, one of
my little girls wrote her name by herself for the first time. That was exciting. And
so just to know, like, like, don't grow weary and doing good. And then expanding upon that,
I like that it says, especially those who have the house of faith. And so don't grow
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weary and doing good to your fellow Christians, your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ,
because you don't know how much they might need that encouragement. Right? You don't
know what they're going through. You don't know if they're struggling with something
or whatever. And even if they aren't, just be kind to them. Don't grow weary and doing
good to them and going above and beyond to serve them. Right. Right. Whether that's
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even if you never get recognized for that goodness. Exactly. Just like that one girl
was being so nice to you for 30 seconds. Yeah. And it like made my morning. Yeah. I was like,
oh, my gosh, you know, like a domino effect impacting the rest of your week and everything.
Yeah. So yeah. And I don't even I mean, I don't know if that barista was a Christian.
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I have no idea. But she's just very kind. And I don't know. Don't just. Yeah. Makes
a big difference. All right. My last one's not as convicting. It's more encouraging than
my other ones. Thank God. Yeah, I know. Psalm 34 10 says the young lions suffer want and
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hunger, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. Oh, I like that. Yeah. This is
encouraging. And it's not like a we shouldn't be reading this and think that, oh, I won't
be poor anymore because I am seeking the Lord. No, you should be thinking good things like
eternal, eternally beneficial things. Yeah. Things that grow his kingdom and help his
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kingdom to grow stronger, not just by number of people, but stronger like. Like I'm an
individual person who's growing stronger and standing firm in the faith and Anna is too.
Yeah. So, you know, and so to me, this is encouraging because if I do seek the Lord
every day, just like I was saying, then I know that I'm not going to lack any goodness
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that God has available because he's just going to lavish his goodness on me because he's
just amazing, even though I don't deserve it. Yeah, that's so true. And there's another
verse. It's Psalm 68 something. Psalm 60 something something. I can't remember, but my mom always
quotes it to me and it's no good thing with he withhold from those who walk up rightly.
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And that makes you think of that verse. Yeah, I don't know the reference. Yeah. And so that
verse is brought to my mind actually last week as well. Funny. But no, that's so true.
Yeah. I'm not sure it's going to read. Actually, the one I want to read is in Hebrews 6, 18
through 20. And this is something that the lady like my Bible study that I like to read.
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And we talked about this last week about will say so. He was 6, 18 through 20 is the reference.
And it says so that to buy tune. Oh, and prior to this, Paul is talking about the promise
that God made to Abraham and like really God promised Abraham that his descendants would
be as big as the sand on the seashore and the stars in the sky. And so anyway, that's
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like the context. And he goes on to say that so that by two unchangeable things in which
it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement
to hope fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of
the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain where Jesus has gone
as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.
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So it's also talking about how because God made these promises to Abraham, we know that
he's going to be that much more faithful to us. And then that really led me and some of
the ladies to discuss all the promises that God has given us earlier in that week at our
Tuesday night meeting of the hedge, which is the on campus ministry I attend. I guess
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a couple weeks prior Stuart, our ministry leader had preached on Romans 828, which is
we know that all good, all things work together for the good of those that love him, for those
who are called according to his purpose. And anyway, I have a friend who's currently going
through a situation where she's really, really having to wait on the Lord and his timing
as far as her job situation goes. And she was telling me that she's been feeling like
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and she's had a rough time with it lately, been feeling very discouraged. But last week
when we read this, she was saying she told us she shared with us that she also has been
reading in the book of Genesis, the story of Joseph, I almost said this, the book of
Joseph, but she's reading in the book of Genesis, the story of Joseph. And she said, I didn't
realize this before, but that from the time that Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers
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to when he rose in power to be second in command of Pharaoh was 13 years. And then like Abraham,
who never even got to see his descendants, you know, multiply like that, or like Abraham
and Sarah who waited 90 and 100 years for Isaac to be born, or the Israelites waiting
hundreds of years for the Messiah, or whatever. But God always keeps his promises. And then
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you think about all his promises and his word that he gives us, like Romans 828, we know
that he'll work things together for the good of those that love him, those who are called
according to his purpose. Or Proverbs 3, 5, and 6, which says, trust in the Lord with
all your heart and don't lean on your own understanding and all your ways acknowledge
him and he will make your path straight. Or Psalm 37, 4, which says, delight yourself
in the Lord and he'll give you the desires of your heart. Or the one you just read, or
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the one in Psalm 60 something, whatever, which is no good thing when he withholds from those
who walk up rightly. He promises these things to his children who walk with him, who seek
him. And he's in his timing, he's going to work it out for your good and his glory every
single time without fail. And it might take 13 years, it might take 30 years, it might
take 13 months, you know. Yeah, my, I'm not going to name names because I don't know who
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all watches these and listens to these. But there's a situation that someone that I know
well messaged me and a few others about literally, I think it was this morning or maybe last
night, I think it was this morning. And there were these kids praying for their dad and
they've been praying for him, they're young, they've been praying for him for at least
a year now on and off with the leaders, like the teachers at their church that they, like
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in their classes and stuff like that, for specific things in their dad's life. And like
alcoholism and then other things. And they had been praying on and off with the teachers
and the leaders in the church for at least a year. And he just recently, and now for
a month straight he's been coming to church. Like he's going back to church though to lead
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his family and I don't know, a year doesn't seem like that long, but like a year or two
little kids is a long time. Yeah, it is. But God was there the whole time. Yeah. And this
just made me think of in my family, we had a family reunion a couple of weekends ago,
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I guess it was like mid to late February, somewhere in there. I don't know, it was beginning
of February is what it was. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. In February my family had
a family reunion and one of the things we did while we were all there was like watch
old home videos. And on the video was why great, he's like my great great uncle, I'm
pretty sure like two times great uncle Dallas, whose wife Jeanette prayed for him for like
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years and years and years and years, like their whole marriage that he would get saved.
And then she died before he did and he got saved at like 92. Wow. And so she didn't even
know and I mean, it is just insane that she prayed for him for years and years and years,
like 30, 40, 50, however many years that he would get saved. And then at 92 he did after
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she was already passed. Yeah, but I don't know, just things about like that. You just
never know, you know. So don't go worrying, doing good, don't go worrying and hoping in
the Lord and seeking him because he hasn't forgotten you. That was the other big thing
we talked about is that God has not forgotten you. He sees where you are. I can't remember
where. And it also talks about in Hebrews six, how like don't think that God is not
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seeing like your good works that you're doing. You know, I literally was just watching the
YouTube video. I watched maybe a couple of minutes of it because I was listening to it.
I was doing something earlier and I couldn't watch the whole thing. So I don't know what
else she said, but in this video she was talking about how God sees your efforts and blesses
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that. Yeah. And we're humans. We can't honor, like we can't do the things that God can do.
We are not God. God can do things through us. Yes. And his power is not limited. I mean,
he is God. So if he wants you to do something crazy, then you know, and you obey him and
he's going to do something crazy through you. Yeah. But like in general, we are not capable
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of what God is capable of. But if you put your best foot forward, he's going to see
that you're being obedient to him. He's going to see that your effort is like, you're really
putting effort into obeying him. Yeah. He's going to bless that. I know you didn't say
that exactly, but you said that and I was like, I literally just watched that this morning.
It's true. Like God's not, he sees you where you are. He hasn't forgotten you. Yeah. Don't
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think that. Don't think that for a second. Oh, I got it. Me too. Okay. Well, um, so Anna,
how have you been doing on focusing on God for the past two months? It's been on and
off. Okay. I'm not going to lie to you about that, but I have been very good about coming
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back consistently and quickly if I get off track and that's through the power of the
Holy Spirit alone. That's not me. Cause otherwise it was up to me. I probably would never go
back, which sounds terrible. Well, not that you don't want to go back to God. No, no,
just like my sin nature is what I mean. Like me personally, I do be, I do be loving Jesus,
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but honestly, um, at the core of myself, you know, and, but I'm thankful that the Lord
has like, every time I've gotten off track a little bit, he's like, okay. Yeah. Oh, nope.
Here we go. Do you think that, you know, where you are now and your relationship with God
and how much, my dog is loud. I apologize. Um, what was I saying? Oh, do you think that
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you are because of where you are now and your relationship with God versus where you've
ever been before? Do you think that that could also be why you are more prone to go back
to God? Yes, for sure. Because you're stronger in your faith. Definitely. Um, the way that
the Lord's worked in my life, I mean, I can't, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I
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can't do it without him. Yeah. And, um, also just a lot, I mean, I am very hard on myself
or it used to be a lot more hard on myself though, when I would sin and I'd be like,
oh, I can't go back right away. God doesn't want me to, you know, to come back. Like,
but now every time I'm not every time, but I'm a lot better again, not through my own
power, but through the Lord working in my life. Um, that every time I mess up or whatever
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and I'm like, I can't, you know, I've, I've, it's been a week since I read my Bible and
you know, I'm doing this and this and that and like whatever, but I'm like, no, you need
to go back right when you realize that there's a problem. You know what I mean? Like getting
your Bible today and you can do it right after you've sinned too or whatever. Right. Like,
like, oh no, I shouldn't have done that. Be like, Lord, I'm sorry. Immediately. As soon
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as you catch it, like as soon as you realize or come to yourself or whatever, I don't know
how to say it, but yeah.
It was good.
Like for me, I don't know. I asked this and I hadn't thought about it, but um, I feel
like it's only been two months, but it feels so long. Um, it feels way longer than it's
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been two, than two months. Yeah. Um, I think I did, I'm just being transparent. I think
I did fairly well at keeping my eyes on God for most of it until literally the past two
to three weeks. And yes, there were things that were legitimately happening to detour
our whole entire life, like our daily things, but I still should not detour you from focusing
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on God. Um, it doesn't matter how sick you are or what you're going through, but this,
the past, um, two or three weeks have been really hard. What is this week? I think it's
been two full weeks almost. It's been like two and a half weeks. Not very long, I guess.
It just feels like a long time. Um, I got my whole household, we got the flu, the little
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boy I watch and his family, everyone, but his mom somehow got the flu. Like everyone
was just down and it, we weren't like throwing up all the time, but we were had really bad.
I'm some of the worst body aches I've ever had. Um, headaches galore. Like I was having
a headache every day and it was sometimes it wasn't quite a migraine, but it was just
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so annoying. And, um, the pain as like I was in legitimate pain on my shoulders, my head,
my jaw from my headache, my hips, everything was hurting and we felt exhausted and weak.
And so like it was legitimate things happening. But, um, so like honestly, the first couple
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days of not, like I was still talking to God, so that's good, but I don't think I read my
Bible for like a week straight. And I'm not saying you have to read your Bible every day,
but you should very much prioritize Bible study because that is God's word. And so,
and I felt it. And so that just kind of was like a spiral effect from that point on. Like
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I got, because I wasn't prioritizing God, well, one, I was sick and I physically wasn't
capable of doing certain things. Like I was literally sitting on the floor talking to
my son and playing with him and I fell asleep sitting up on the floor. So like that makes
sense as to why I got behind on housework and stuff and ministry stuff. But then once
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I was physically fine, because I wasn't prioritizing God, like I had been before, I didn't have
the motivation nor the self discipline and self control to get caught up on ministry
stuff, to get caught up on housework, to get caught up in everything that I was behind
on. And so then because I wasn't getting caught up on it, it just kept piling. The laundry
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kept piling, the ministry work kept piling, the dishes were a hit or miss because when
it gets full enough, you have to do the dishes to do anything. But in general, like everything
was just piling up and then I was just overwhelmed. And then after I was overwhelmed, you know,
I'm just going to be very transparent because maybe someone needs to hear this. I started
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to focus on God more because I saw, I was like, I know why it's because I'm not prioritizing
the right things. And now all of this tangible clutter is getting in the way of my relationship
with God. And I've allowed it to get in the way of my relationship with God. And so there
was all this stuff happening. Years ago, really quickly, I was very depressed. And this was
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like a long time ago, though, like it's been a long time. God brought me out of that pit
and I have not been in that pit for a long time. Like I can't even remember when the
last time that I was legitimately depressed was. Last week, my husband said something
to me and it wasn't necessarily what he said to me was wrong. And maybe he wasn't the wrong
(29:23):
for part of it. I'm not, that's not important for this discussion. But part of the reason
it hit me so hard was because of where I was mentally, because I hadn't been prioritizing
God. I had been sick, all of these things. And for a day, this sounds so dramatic to
someone who's been depressed for years, but legitimately hear me out for a whole 48 hours,
(29:43):
but really the first day I was legitimately and hardcore in a very depressive state for
the first time in so long. And I was like, where is this coming from? Because to me,
it felt so random. Yeah. And it started, the trigger was when my husband was talking to
me the night before. And again, not necessarily his fault. It was everything else around the
(30:07):
situation that partially was my fault or partially not. And so I don't know. And then it was
like that day, my husband going home from work and I was sitting in the recliner and
I had been crying on and off all day for no apparent reason. Like no reason. I felt so
awful about myself, about everything around me. I was just staring at all the things that
(30:31):
needed to be done, but I couldn't, I physically couldn't do anything because I was so depressed.
It was like this whole spiral effect of like started with the flu and then I didn't prioritize
God because I had been sick and then yada yada yada. And to some people that might look
like, well, Sarah, I mean, that's logical to not do this, this, this and this, but no,
(30:51):
if I had just stayed focused on God the whole time, even when I was sick, I felt like I
wouldn't have even had those two days of my depressive state. Like I'm not saying my life
would have been easy because obviously I was still behind on things for logical reasons
of being sick, but like never would I probably ever experienced those two days. Yeah. But
(31:16):
I don't know. So that was kind of a tangent, but I felt like God was pressing me to just
tell you about my little experience last week. But also I will say a good thing about that
is because God has really strengthened me in my faith the past few years or past couple
years really, I'm like Anna now also where I am more inclined to run back to God fairly
(31:41):
quickly compared to what I used to. And so, um, and that's why I can honestly say that
whatever went on recently was only two to three weeks at most. And that is a very short
amount of time compared to old Sarah. Yeah. Um, and so that day where I was really depressed,
(32:02):
really having a hard day mentally, God really showed me, um, what I needed to do to better
my life. And I'm not saying he gave me like a blueprint step by step. This is, these are
the tasks you have to do. But like he gave me a vision. He gave me, he, he, he had, he's
already given me the tools within me and through his word to be able to execute this vision.
(32:27):
And um, obviously along with his guidance mostly. And ever since that day I've been
getting better and I'm not depressed right now. It was literally just a couple of days
because I was in this pit that I had drug myself in. So I don't know who needed to hear
that, but if you are struggling with anything, whether it be depression or something else,
(32:49):
like it could be anything, whatever pit you're in, it's not easy, but you got to get out
of that. Yeah. You got to get out of it and you can't do it alone. But honestly, the most
practical thing you could do to start getting out of that pit is to open your word right
now and read it and talk to God about what you're reading and do that every day. Yeah.
(33:11):
And start with that and he'll guide you along the way for the other things you need to do.
Well, do you have anything else? Nope. I think that was, I mean we talked, but like that
was the easiest, one of the easiest podcasts. Explode. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks for
(33:31):
listening. Bye friends.
Oh, am I supposed to go? Sure. Or do you go? No, you go. You're introducing us, remember?
(00:06):
That's weird. What do I say? Nervous! Do you want me to introduce us? No, it's fine.
Hey guys, welcome back to our Worship Warriors podcast.
Hi friends and welcome back to the podcast. It's been a while. I got sick, then she got
(00:26):
sick, and everybody's been sick, but we're back! And today we're going to be talking
about kind of, is it three months since New Year's? A couple months ago we did talk about
New Year's resolutions on the podcast, didn't we? That's the thing that happened. And so
we're going to be, I think, kind of discussing how our goals are going. And not just New
(00:51):
Year's goals, like, goals in general. Well, and we kind of discussed focusing more on,
what did we say we were going to talk about today? Oh, just like with your goals and resolutions,
whether they be New Year's resolutions or just in general goals that you suddenly have,
you know, just to make sure that your eyes are staying focused on God, no matter whether
(01:14):
your goal be something little or big or in between. Silly, or yeah. I think we just were
going to talk about maybe some verses that would help us personally, maybe have helped
us or that we are going to start looking at to help us stay focused on God. And then we
might talk about our resolutions. No, there's not really. Sorry if you get bored. Yeah,
(01:36):
this is supposed to be really boring. Click out now. No, I'm using a wrist psychology
on them. Oh, okay. It's working. How do we do this? You intro and I start. Yeah, that's
what we've been doing. So we've been a while. Let's not break tradition. Okay, so I have
four verses. I don't remember what they all say. I'm just going to read them and the Holy
(02:02):
Spirit guide us on discussion. And then Anna has a couple, I think. I didn't mean to, but
all of mine are from Psalm. So my first one for sure is a good one to help me focus on
God. Let me tell you really fast. I am somebody who, I don't know if I was always like this.
I don't remember, honestly. But now I'm very much someone who in order to like, the most
(02:28):
motivated I'm going to get is with harsh truths thrown at me. Like harsh truths. When those
are thrown at me, I'm like, okay, you're right. I need to get going. And not everyone is like
that. Obviously, some people need it way more gentle. And some people need the harsh truths
like I do. And some people are kind of in between. It depends on the situation. But
I'm a very harsh truth person now. So that being said, my first verse is Psalm 14 two.
(02:54):
And it says in ESV, the Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man to see if there
are any who understand who seek after God. So I read this verse not that long ago. And
well, I guess it's been kind of well, it's only March. It feels way later in the year.
That's why I was like, because of three months since the new year. Like, yeah, okay. So it
(03:16):
has been somewhat recent within the past couple months. It just feels longer. And I was praying
through Psalm. And so I was reading this as I was praying. And when I read this verse,
I was thinking, oh, my gosh, the Lord is looking down from heaven at me to see if I understand
meaning to see if I'm seeking after him. And in here, my little note down here says, for
(03:41):
understand, it means for those who are acting wisely. And I'm like, so the Lord is looking
down at me and Anna and everyone else. But to make it personable, like he's looking at
me and saying, is she seeking after me? Is she acting wisely? Is she like living a life
that shows that she understands the truth that I have given her and told her? And so
(04:04):
when I read that, it was like one of the most convicting verses that's convicting me. And
so I like I'm like, we're laughing, but it's like, it's true. Yeah. And so to me, that
was the harsh truth that really motivated me, especially like, for a good while after
that, like not just a day or two, but for a while after that, I was like, oh my gosh,
but that verse that I prayed through the other day, like I don't remember what I said after
(04:27):
that to God, but I just stopped at this first and I was like, it's like, I can't go any
further because I feel like I'm not acting wisely. And you know, and maybe, maybe I was,
I mean, I feel like when I look at myself, I think I'm just this wretched person. I am
wretched without God, but like, so I don't mean this in a high and mighty way, just hear
me out. But I feel like I think I'm not acting out what the Holy Spirit is telling me to
(04:54):
do ever. But I know I am. Right. I know I am. I just know that I screw up so much inwardly
with my thoughts and you know, my mindset, my mentality that it feels like I never act
according to what the Holy Spirit tells me to do. Yeah. And I feel like it's okay and
healthy to have a mindset of I am nothing without God. It's good to have that. You should
(05:19):
always be humble at the Lord's feet, but also I feel like you could also beat yourself down
a little bit too much. Right. There's a fine line. There's a fine balance. Yeah. And so
I struggle with that, but this verse really helped me like push forward with my goals
that I was having for myself in my walk with God because it was like, am I living a life
(05:43):
that shows that I understand God's truth? Yeah. Actually, I'm not really sure where
to start with mine because I got some good ones that have been really speaking to me
lately. But I think the one I want to start with is actually Philippians 4, 8 through
9. And I'll just read it and I'll tell you why I chose it. Finally, brothers, whatever
is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
(06:06):
whatever is commendable, if there's any excellence, if there's anything worthy of praise, think
about these things which you have learned and received and heard and seen in me practice
these things and the God of peace will be with you. And I think I had this revelation
the other day where I was like, man, I feel like in my mind, like I'm always bent or like
I'm always so quick to think bad thoughts towards people or think a bad word if like
(06:31):
something goes wrong or I'm always like, I feel like my mind is full of such junk. And
when I'm not focused on the Lord, like, it's amazing how quickly I get off path the path.
And then my mind goes back to that junk every single time without fail. And like, this isn't
a revelation I've had like for the first time in my life. But it was just like I was I was
(06:52):
sitting there and I was like, why am I such why am I caught up in some, like certain sin
cycles that they don't want to be caught up in anymore or whatever. And I was like, well,
it's because you're not filling your mind with good things. You're not filling your
mind and your heart with the Lord. And what the Holy Spirit wants you like you're not
filling your heart, your heart and mind with God's Word. So like you're not going to have
kind of like a reservoir of goodness to fall back on when you're going through a hard time
(07:20):
or when you're tempted to sin. And so that just hit me really hard the other day, like
literally earlier this week, where I was like, I don't know, I was kind of like, man, I hate,
you know, I'm harrow myself to when I said I'm like, I hate myself. Why am I like thinking
like this? Why am I doing these things? Whatever. And I'm like, Anna, it's because you've not
been reading your Bible lately. You've not been in God's Word. You've not had any. You
(07:42):
haven't been talking to them. Yeah. Yeah. And I haven't been focusing on things that
are lovely, pure, honorable, noble, you know, the whole list goes on and on. But if you
practice these things, think about these things, the God of peace will be with you and you
won't think about all this other junk. You won't be as bent towards thinking about this
other junk. The more and more time you spend with the Lord, the more you fill your heart
(08:05):
and your mind with the things of God. Yeah. So. And sometimes we think things aren't junk
that we're filling our minds with because it's not really good or bad. It seems like
it's just in the middle. Right? Kind of mindless consumption. Yeah. But mindless consumption,
too much of that is going is junk because then you're just consuming that mindless,
(08:27):
whatever it is. And you're doing that more than you're filling it up with God. Right.
Usually, at least in anything that you place above God is an idol. Yeah. Yeah. Even if
it doesn't seem bad on the surface. Right. So I'm going to skip that. OK, yeah, this
(08:48):
one is a little convicting as well for me. It's Psalm 27 for one thing have I asked of
the Lord that I will seek after that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days
of my life. Basically, this convicted me because again, a harsh truth, because I need the conviction
(09:16):
in order to keep going. I thrive off. I hate conviction, but I also thrive off of it because
it's a harsh truth. That's all these verses may reflect that. I don't know. I can't remember.
But it says all the days of my life. I'm not going to be able to dwell in the house of
the Lord all the days of my life here on earth. I'm not seeking after him all the time. Like
(09:37):
if my eyes are not looking at him, my heart, the eyes of my heart, the heart of my eyes,
the eyes of my heart are not seeking after him every day, then I'm not going to be.
I mean, yes, I'm still safe. I have that security. I will be going to heaven. But like the eternal
goodness that I receive here on earth and that others receive through me whenever I'm
(10:01):
seeking after God. Yeah, every day I'm not going to have that. And I won't have that
the same amount of like I won't have peace all the time and joy all the time. And, you
know, so on and so forth. Like I could go into detail about it, I guess, but there's
no need. So I don't know. So that was just kind of convicting for me because it's like
I have to be seeking after him every day. Yeah, I can't look away for a moment. And
(10:24):
that sounds like you. I saw that I have to look at the Lord. Right. But you should because
when you don't, your life is poop. Like, yeah, you know, it's just and it becomes quick.
Yeah. And the closer you get to God and the more freedom you experience through your relationship,
with him, you will see what we mean when we say like, you're you're you really do experience
(10:48):
peace like so much peace and so much joy and so much love. And you're you know, all of
these things that you struggle with slowly because you're being transformed slowly go
away. And and so more peace and freedom come from that. And you know, or whatever, so on
and so forth. There's a lot to it. But that's what I got out of it, at least. The one this
(11:10):
verse is on my mind, and it like literally popped up in my mind as I was in line getting
coffee the other day. And the lady who was checking me out was so nice. And I don't know,
it was very kind. And she made me think about this verse. But then that led me to think
about the first itself even more because a woman like brought this first mind. So anyway,
(11:30):
this might seem weird to you, but that's how my brain works. The verses, Galatians six,
nine through 10, which says, And let us not grow weary of doing good for in due season,
we will reap if we do not give up. So then as we have opportunity, let us do good to
everyone, and especially to those who are the household of faith. And really, I just
(11:51):
thought about like the part where because she was very good to me, and she was very
kind and just like extra nice, you know, those people are just extra nice, like go above
and beyond to like compliment you or to like, you know, tell you have a good day or whatever.
And it was literally just like a 30 second interaction while she was checking me out,
you know, from getting my coffee, right. But then like, when I got to work, I looked at
the verse really quick, because I had a minute before like some kids showed up. Oh, what
(12:15):
does the verse say? And so little did I know that like later that week, that verse would
come to me more to me. And in that I kind of struggle, I had some hard times at work
where I was facing some issues, not even with my boss, it was like, just knowing that I
was doing the right thing, but not getting recognized for doing the right thing. I don't
(12:38):
know how to describe it without going into too much detail. But like realizing like,
hey, I've been doing better. I've been like, you know, because there's some areas where
I was struggling, high management and stuff. But I've been doing better. And so like, I
wasn't like, and I was still getting, I don't know how to describe it. But anyway, without,
yeah, without having to give too much detail, because I really don't know how to say what
(13:01):
I need to say without actually saying it. That versus way encouraging to me just to
not wait, grow weary and doing what I need to be good, which is to be the best teacher
to these children that I can be to tell them about Jesus, read them a story from the Bible
every day, express to them how much Jesus loves them, and then do my best to teach them
and educate them on like their letters and tracing their names and basic stuff like that.
(13:24):
Because that's what we're all doing. It's not very exciting. But it is to them and to
you. It's right. It's true. When they have a breakthrough, oh my gosh, today, one of
my little girls wrote her name by herself for the first time. That was exciting. And
so just to know, like, like, don't grow weary and doing good. And then expanding upon that,
I like that it says, especially those who have the house of faith. And so don't grow
(13:46):
weary and doing good to your fellow Christians, your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ,
because you don't know how much they might need that encouragement. Right? You don't
know what they're going through. You don't know if they're struggling with something
or whatever. And even if they aren't, just be kind to them. Don't grow weary and doing
good to them and going above and beyond to serve them. Right. Right. Whether that's
(14:06):
even if you never get recognized for that goodness. Exactly. Just like that one girl
was being so nice to you for 30 seconds. Yeah. And it like made my morning. Yeah. I was like,
oh, my gosh, you know, like a domino effect impacting the rest of your week and everything.
Yeah. So yeah. And I don't even I mean, I don't know if that barista was a Christian.
(14:26):
I have no idea. But she's just very kind. And I don't know. Don't just. Yeah. Makes
a big difference. All right. My last one's not as convicting. It's more encouraging than
my other ones. Thank God. Yeah, I know. Psalm 34 10 says the young lions suffer want and
(14:48):
hunger, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. Oh, I like that. Yeah. This is
encouraging. And it's not like a we shouldn't be reading this and think that, oh, I won't
be poor anymore because I am seeking the Lord. No, you should be thinking good things like
eternal, eternally beneficial things. Yeah. Things that grow his kingdom and help his
(15:13):
kingdom to grow stronger, not just by number of people, but stronger like. Like I'm an
individual person who's growing stronger and standing firm in the faith and Anna is too.
Yeah. So, you know, and so to me, this is encouraging because if I do seek the Lord
every day, just like I was saying, then I know that I'm not going to lack any goodness
(15:38):
that God has available because he's just going to lavish his goodness on me because he's
just amazing, even though I don't deserve it. Yeah, that's so true. And there's another
verse. It's Psalm 68 something. Psalm 60 something something. I can't remember, but my mom always
quotes it to me and it's no good thing with he withhold from those who walk up rightly.
(16:01):
And that makes you think of that verse. Yeah, I don't know the reference. Yeah. And so that
verse is brought to my mind actually last week as well. Funny. But no, that's so true.
Yeah. I'm not sure it's going to read. Actually, the one I want to read is in Hebrews 6, 18
through 20. And this is something that the lady like my Bible study that I like to read.
(16:25):
And we talked about this last week about will say so. He was 6, 18 through 20 is the reference.
And it says so that to buy tune. Oh, and prior to this, Paul is talking about the promise
that God made to Abraham and like really God promised Abraham that his descendants would
be as big as the sand on the seashore and the stars in the sky. And so anyway, that's
(16:48):
like the context. And he goes on to say that so that by two unchangeable things in which
it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement
to hope fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of
the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain where Jesus has gone
as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.
(17:12):
So it's also talking about how because God made these promises to Abraham, we know that
he's going to be that much more faithful to us. And then that really led me and some of
the ladies to discuss all the promises that God has given us earlier in that week at our
Tuesday night meeting of the hedge, which is the on campus ministry I attend. I guess
(17:34):
a couple weeks prior Stuart, our ministry leader had preached on Romans 828, which is
we know that all good, all things work together for the good of those that love him, for those
who are called according to his purpose. And anyway, I have a friend who's currently going
through a situation where she's really, really having to wait on the Lord and his timing
as far as her job situation goes. And she was telling me that she's been feeling like
(17:58):
and she's had a rough time with it lately, been feeling very discouraged. But last week
when we read this, she was saying she told us she shared with us that she also has been
reading in the book of Genesis, the story of Joseph, I almost said this, the book of
Joseph, but she's reading in the book of Genesis, the story of Joseph. And she said, I didn't
realize this before, but that from the time that Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers
(18:23):
to when he rose in power to be second in command of Pharaoh was 13 years. And then like Abraham,
who never even got to see his descendants, you know, multiply like that, or like Abraham
and Sarah who waited 90 and 100 years for Isaac to be born, or the Israelites waiting
hundreds of years for the Messiah, or whatever. But God always keeps his promises. And then
(18:44):
you think about all his promises and his word that he gives us, like Romans 828, we know
that he'll work things together for the good of those that love him, those who are called
according to his purpose. Or Proverbs 3, 5, and 6, which says, trust in the Lord with
all your heart and don't lean on your own understanding and all your ways acknowledge
him and he will make your path straight. Or Psalm 37, 4, which says, delight yourself
in the Lord and he'll give you the desires of your heart. Or the one you just read, or
(19:08):
the one in Psalm 60 something, whatever, which is no good thing when he withholds from those
who walk up rightly. He promises these things to his children who walk with him, who seek
him. And he's in his timing, he's going to work it out for your good and his glory every
single time without fail. And it might take 13 years, it might take 30 years, it might
take 13 months, you know. Yeah, my, I'm not going to name names because I don't know who
(19:33):
all watches these and listens to these. But there's a situation that someone that I know
well messaged me and a few others about literally, I think it was this morning or maybe last
night, I think it was this morning. And there were these kids praying for their dad and
they've been praying for him, they're young, they've been praying for him for at least
a year now on and off with the leaders, like the teachers at their church that they, like
(19:59):
in their classes and stuff like that, for specific things in their dad's life. And like
alcoholism and then other things. And they had been praying on and off with the teachers
and the leaders in the church for at least a year. And he just recently, and now for
a month straight he's been coming to church. Like he's going back to church though to lead
(20:19):
his family and I don't know, a year doesn't seem like that long, but like a year or two
little kids is a long time. Yeah, it is. But God was there the whole time. Yeah. And this
just made me think of in my family, we had a family reunion a couple of weekends ago,
(20:41):
I guess it was like mid to late February, somewhere in there. I don't know, it was beginning
of February is what it was. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. In February my family had
a family reunion and one of the things we did while we were all there was like watch
old home videos. And on the video was why great, he's like my great great uncle, I'm
pretty sure like two times great uncle Dallas, whose wife Jeanette prayed for him for like
(21:06):
years and years and years and years, like their whole marriage that he would get saved.
And then she died before he did and he got saved at like 92. Wow. And so she didn't even
know and I mean, it is just insane that she prayed for him for years and years and years,
like 30, 40, 50, however many years that he would get saved. And then at 92 he did after
(21:27):
she was already passed. Yeah, but I don't know, just things about like that. You just
never know, you know. So don't go worrying, doing good, don't go worrying and hoping in
the Lord and seeking him because he hasn't forgotten you. That was the other big thing
we talked about is that God has not forgotten you. He sees where you are. I can't remember
where. And it also talks about in Hebrews six, how like don't think that God is not
(21:50):
seeing like your good works that you're doing. You know, I literally was just watching the
YouTube video. I watched maybe a couple of minutes of it because I was listening to it.
I was doing something earlier and I couldn't watch the whole thing. So I don't know what
else she said, but in this video she was talking about how God sees your efforts and blesses
(22:11):
that. Yeah. And we're humans. We can't honor, like we can't do the things that God can do.
We are not God. God can do things through us. Yes. And his power is not limited. I mean,
he is God. So if he wants you to do something crazy, then you know, and you obey him and
he's going to do something crazy through you. Yeah. But like in general, we are not capable
(22:34):
of what God is capable of. But if you put your best foot forward, he's going to see
that you're being obedient to him. He's going to see that your effort is like, you're really
putting effort into obeying him. Yeah. He's going to bless that. I know you didn't say
that exactly, but you said that and I was like, I literally just watched that this morning.
It's true. Like God's not, he sees you where you are. He hasn't forgotten you. Yeah. Don't
(22:57):
think that. Don't think that for a second. Oh, I got it. Me too. Okay. Well, um, so Anna,
how have you been doing on focusing on God for the past two months? It's been on and
off. Okay. I'm not going to lie to you about that, but I have been very good about coming
(23:21):
back consistently and quickly if I get off track and that's through the power of the
Holy Spirit alone. That's not me. Cause otherwise it was up to me. I probably would never go
back, which sounds terrible. Well, not that you don't want to go back to God. No, no,
just like my sin nature is what I mean. Like me personally, I do be, I do be loving Jesus,
(23:42):
but honestly, um, at the core of myself, you know, and, but I'm thankful that the Lord
has like, every time I've gotten off track a little bit, he's like, okay. Yeah. Oh, nope.
Here we go. Do you think that, you know, where you are now and your relationship with God
and how much, my dog is loud. I apologize. Um, what was I saying? Oh, do you think that
(24:07):
you are because of where you are now and your relationship with God versus where you've
ever been before? Do you think that that could also be why you are more prone to go back
to God? Yes, for sure. Because you're stronger in your faith. Definitely. Um, the way that
the Lord's worked in my life, I mean, I can't, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I
(24:27):
can't do it without him. Yeah. And, um, also just a lot, I mean, I am very hard on myself
or it used to be a lot more hard on myself though, when I would sin and I'd be like,
oh, I can't go back right away. God doesn't want me to, you know, to come back. Like,
but now every time I'm not every time, but I'm a lot better again, not through my own
power, but through the Lord working in my life. Um, that every time I mess up or whatever
(24:50):
and I'm like, I can't, you know, I've, I've, it's been a week since I read my Bible and
you know, I'm doing this and this and that and like whatever, but I'm like, no, you need
to go back right when you realize that there's a problem. You know what I mean? Like getting
your Bible today and you can do it right after you've sinned too or whatever. Right. Like,
like, oh no, I shouldn't have done that. Be like, Lord, I'm sorry. Immediately. As soon
(25:11):
as you catch it, like as soon as you realize or come to yourself or whatever, I don't know
how to say it, but yeah.
It was good.
Like for me, I don't know. I asked this and I hadn't thought about it, but um, I feel
like it's only been two months, but it feels so long. Um, it feels way longer than it's
(25:33):
been two, than two months. Yeah. Um, I think I did, I'm just being transparent. I think
I did fairly well at keeping my eyes on God for most of it until literally the past two
to three weeks. And yes, there were things that were legitimately happening to detour
our whole entire life, like our daily things, but I still should not detour you from focusing
(25:59):
on God. Um, it doesn't matter how sick you are or what you're going through, but this,
the past, um, two or three weeks have been really hard. What is this week? I think it's
been two full weeks almost. It's been like two and a half weeks. Not very long, I guess.
It just feels like a long time. Um, I got my whole household, we got the flu, the little
(26:23):
boy I watch and his family, everyone, but his mom somehow got the flu. Like everyone
was just down and it, we weren't like throwing up all the time, but we were had really bad.
I'm some of the worst body aches I've ever had. Um, headaches galore. Like I was having
a headache every day and it was sometimes it wasn't quite a migraine, but it was just
(26:43):
so annoying. And, um, the pain as like I was in legitimate pain on my shoulders, my head,
my jaw from my headache, my hips, everything was hurting and we felt exhausted and weak.
And so like it was legitimate things happening. But, um, so like honestly, the first couple
(27:10):
days of not, like I was still talking to God, so that's good, but I don't think I read my
Bible for like a week straight. And I'm not saying you have to read your Bible every day,
but you should very much prioritize Bible study because that is God's word. And so,
and I felt it. And so that just kind of was like a spiral effect from that point on. Like
(27:31):
I got, because I wasn't prioritizing God, well, one, I was sick and I physically wasn't
capable of doing certain things. Like I was literally sitting on the floor talking to
my son and playing with him and I fell asleep sitting up on the floor. So like that makes
sense as to why I got behind on housework and stuff and ministry stuff. But then once
(27:52):
I was physically fine, because I wasn't prioritizing God, like I had been before, I didn't have
the motivation nor the self discipline and self control to get caught up on ministry
stuff, to get caught up on housework, to get caught up in everything that I was behind
on. And so then because I wasn't getting caught up on it, it just kept piling. The laundry
(28:13):
kept piling, the ministry work kept piling, the dishes were a hit or miss because when
it gets full enough, you have to do the dishes to do anything. But in general, like everything
was just piling up and then I was just overwhelmed. And then after I was overwhelmed, you know,
I'm just going to be very transparent because maybe someone needs to hear this. I started
(28:38):
to focus on God more because I saw, I was like, I know why it's because I'm not prioritizing
the right things. And now all of this tangible clutter is getting in the way of my relationship
with God. And I've allowed it to get in the way of my relationship with God. And so there
was all this stuff happening. Years ago, really quickly, I was very depressed. And this was
(29:00):
like a long time ago, though, like it's been a long time. God brought me out of that pit
and I have not been in that pit for a long time. Like I can't even remember when the
last time that I was legitimately depressed was. Last week, my husband said something
to me and it wasn't necessarily what he said to me was wrong. And maybe he wasn't the wrong
(29:23):
for part of it. I'm not, that's not important for this discussion. But part of the reason
it hit me so hard was because of where I was mentally, because I hadn't been prioritizing
God. I had been sick, all of these things. And for a day, this sounds so dramatic to
someone who's been depressed for years, but legitimately hear me out for a whole 48 hours,
(29:43):
but really the first day I was legitimately and hardcore in a very depressive state for
the first time in so long. And I was like, where is this coming from? Because to me,
it felt so random. Yeah. And it started, the trigger was when my husband was talking to
me the night before. And again, not necessarily his fault. It was everything else around the
(30:07):
situation that partially was my fault or partially not. And so I don't know. And then it was
like that day, my husband going home from work and I was sitting in the recliner and
I had been crying on and off all day for no apparent reason. Like no reason. I felt so
awful about myself, about everything around me. I was just staring at all the things that
(30:31):
needed to be done, but I couldn't, I physically couldn't do anything because I was so depressed.
It was like this whole spiral effect of like started with the flu and then I didn't prioritize
God because I had been sick and then yada yada yada. And to some people that might look
like, well, Sarah, I mean, that's logical to not do this, this, this and this, but no,
(30:51):
if I had just stayed focused on God the whole time, even when I was sick, I felt like I
wouldn't have even had those two days of my depressive state. Like I'm not saying my life
would have been easy because obviously I was still behind on things for logical reasons
of being sick, but like never would I probably ever experienced those two days. Yeah. But
(31:16):
I don't know. So that was kind of a tangent, but I felt like God was pressing me to just
tell you about my little experience last week. But also I will say a good thing about that
is because God has really strengthened me in my faith the past few years or past couple
years really, I'm like Anna now also where I am more inclined to run back to God fairly
(31:41):
quickly compared to what I used to. And so, um, and that's why I can honestly say that
whatever went on recently was only two to three weeks at most. And that is a very short
amount of time compared to old Sarah. Yeah. Um, and so that day where I was really depressed,
(32:02):
really having a hard day mentally, God really showed me, um, what I needed to do to better
my life. And I'm not saying he gave me like a blueprint step by step. This is, these are
the tasks you have to do. But like he gave me a vision. He gave me, he, he, he had, he's
already given me the tools within me and through his word to be able to execute this vision.
(32:27):
And um, obviously along with his guidance mostly. And ever since that day I've been
getting better and I'm not depressed right now. It was literally just a couple of days
because I was in this pit that I had drug myself in. So I don't know who needed to hear
that, but if you are struggling with anything, whether it be depression or something else,
(32:49):
like it could be anything, whatever pit you're in, it's not easy, but you got to get out
of that. Yeah. You got to get out of it and you can't do it alone. But honestly, the most
practical thing you could do to start getting out of that pit is to open your word right
now and read it and talk to God about what you're reading and do that every day. Yeah.
(33:11):
And start with that and he'll guide you along the way for the other things you need to do.
Well, do you have anything else? Nope. I think that was, I mean we talked, but like that
was the easiest, one of the easiest podcasts. Explode. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks for
(33:31):
listening. Bye friends.
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