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December 5, 2025 • 30 mins

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In this episode of ABC's Parenting Adult Children podcast, host James Moffitt welcomes back Dr. David Marcus, a clinical psychologist specializing in families under stress. Dr. Marcus discusses the concept of a 'soothing presence' and the process of 'emptying out' emotions, emphasizing the importance of understanding emotional communication with children. He explains the three levels of emotional intensity: the logical here-and-now, the history level, and the tapped-into level, and how these need to be addressed for effective communication. The conversation also touches on the cultural and familial influences on emotional intelligence and the importance of validating feelings in relationships.

Keywords

parenting, emotional communication, soothing presence, emptying out, emotional intelligence, family stress, Dr. David Marcus, James Moffitt, podcast, relationships

Takeaways

  • A soothing presence is someone who is okay when you're not.
  • Emotional communication involves understanding three levels: logical, history, and tapped-into.
  • Emptying out emotions requires addressing all three levels for effective communication.
  • Cultural and familial influences shape emotional intelligence.
  • Validating feelings is crucial in relationships.
  • Men often struggle with emotional expression due to cultural norms.
  • Parents should avoid trying to 'make' children feel better, instead allowing them to express emotions.
  • Children learn emotional resilience by observing adult interactions.
  • Opposites attract in relationships, allowing partners to soothe each other.
  • Effective communication involves both partners feeling heard and understood.

Sound bites

  • A soothing presence is key.
  • Emptying out emotions is essential.
  • Validate feelings for better relationships.
  • Men struggle with emotional expression.
  • Children learn from adult interactions.
  • Opposites attract in soothing relationships.
  • Cultural norms shape emotional intelligence.
  • Effective communication needs understanding.
  • Parents shouldn't force emotions.
  • Emotional resilience starts young.

Chapters

  • 00:00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
  • 00:00:00 Understanding Soothing Presence
  • 00:00:00 Emptying Out Process
  • 00:00:00 Cultural and Familial Influences
  • 00:00:01 Validating Feelings in Relationships
  • 00:00:01 Conclusion and Book Promotion

Want to be a guest on ABCs of Parenting Adult Children? Send James Moffitt a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/parentingadultchildren

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