May 27, 2025 • 37 mins
In this episode of About That Wallet, I had the opportunity to chat with Dr. Darla Bishop, author of How to Afford Everything. We dove into the financial challenges of the Sandwich Generation, balancing support for kids and aging parents while keeping finances in check.
Dr. Bishop shares her journey to financial literacy and talks about the importance of having open, loving money conversations within families. She offers practical tips to help listeners take charge of their finances and make smart choices.
Get ready for insights on budgeting, financial planning, and how to build a healthy relationship with money. Dr. Bishop also shares personal stories that highlight the benefits of good communication about finances.
💬 Question of the Day: How do you tackle financial talks with your family? Let us know in the comments!
🔗 Connect with Dr. Darla Bishop:
Website: darlabishop.com/social
https://howtoaffordeverything.com/
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=|| 📚 Chapters ||=
(00:00) Welcome
(02:30) Starting Money Talks with Love
(10:15) Dr. Bishop's Path to Financial Literacy
(18:00) About the Book
(25:45) Family Financial Dynamics
(32:30) The Power of Open Communication
(40:00) Building a Good Relationship with Money
(48:15) Final Thoughts
(55:00) How to Connect with Dr. Bishop
🙏🏽 Thanks for listening!
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⚠️ DISCLAIMER:
This content is for educational purposes only and is not financial advice. Always consult a licensed financial professional when needed.
#AboutThatWallet #FinancialLiteracy #FamilyFinance #HowToAffordEverything #MoneyManagement #SandwichGeneration
Episode 297
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (00:00):
And it's. It's also easy. I think it's
(00:02):
easier to listen to someone who starts with love, right? I always
start with love. Instead of like, I can't believe you made
that choice. Like the books, right? The full
circle going back to the earlier in this conversation, like, instead of
me, like, I can't believe you got into credit card debt. I can't believe you took out
that kind of loan. I can't believe you chose that apartment. It's so expensive. It's like,
oh, well, why'd you choose that? Okay, what made you make that decision
(00:23):
is that is this choice hurting other things
in your life? And how do we make the adjustment? Like, starting with love,
and that makes a big difference. And people
willingness to listen.
>> Anthony (00:36):
Welcome back, everybody, to another exciting show of the about
that Wallet podcast, where we help the sandwich
generation build strong financial habits where
they can spend money, talk about money,
and even enjoy their money with confidence.
Today I have somebody who has been doing such
an amazing job, even came up with a book on how
to afford everything. And you know what, you
(00:59):
sandwich generation folks, it is very
important that you know that
it is tight with your money, dealing with your kids,
and also dealing with your parents. And the person I have
in on today is Dr. Dollar Bishop. How
you doing today?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (01:16):
I'm excellent. I'm so excited to talk with you.
You know, in the pre show, we talked about how we were at Fincon together this,
um, in 2024, and how I'm just super
thrilled to be with you today. Thank you for having me.
>> Anthony (01:28):
No problem. Are you going to fincon this year?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (01:30):
Yes, I bought my ticket. I've been watching, um,
flights, but I think it's too early to buy. Um,
I'm really trying to get a speaking gig so that way the trip can be
funded slash sponsored by somebody else.
>> Anthony (01:42):
I know, right?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (01:43):
One of the ways to afford everything. Okay, there you go.
>> Anthony (01:46):
It's, uh, it's not what they say. It's not who
me, it's not what, not how, but who
to figure out. Because I'm trying to do the same thing. And I was like,
if I become a speaker, I'm like, who is going to sponsor my slides?
Like, I want to put their. Their branding across the slides. Like,
we can make this work.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (02:02):
Yes. And like, my mama gonna be mad when I say this, but I'm
for sale. Dr. Darla Bishop is for sale.
Sponsor me.
>> Anthony (02:11):
That's how we gonna start this show off. Okay, so she's up
for sale.
Um, but one of the things so you come
up with the title, such a bold title on how
to afford everything. Uh, what was the
idea behind it, and what do you hope people to get away from it?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (02:27):
Yeah, that's exactly it. I wanted to make a bold promise to
readers because I really
wanted people who were either
scared to pick up a book about money or who
had previously been hurt by a book about money
to pick this one up. And
if you've ever worked on a big project, you know,
(02:47):
like, when it came to this book, I was waiting
for the book to tell me its title, right?
I was like, okay, we're working through the chapter. I had a great editor.
We were working through the chapters one by one. She's like, okay,
we got to start working on the COVID art. Uh, what's the title going to be? I'm
like, I'm waiting for the book to tell us. I'm waiting for the book to tell us.
And the book didn't quite tell us. She was like, well, I need you to tell
(03:08):
me, because we got to make this cover.
And so I just, like, got real quiet one day and
thought, well, what. What is the promise of this book?
What is it that I want people to see when they see the
COVID and think about.
And I thought about all the conversations I had had with
friends, family, co workers,
(03:28):
people on the street who, like, let me get in business a little
bit. And so much of what would come up is
like, I just want to know how to afford everything. Like, I just want to know how to
do. I just want to know how to. But that everything
wasn't like yachts and trips to Bali
for some. A couple people, it was. But it was like, I want to just
be able to put the bills on autopay. I want to be able to. When
(03:49):
my kid is at the store and they ask for something that I
want them to have to be able to say, yes. When my mom
or my auntie or my uncle has a small
problem that a little bit of money could solve, I want to just be able to
solve the problem. Like, I just want to be able to do everything.
And I was like, you know what? That's. That's the title.
How to afford everything. Because everything for you
(04:10):
right now might be as simple as, I just want to be able to put these bills on
auto pay.
>> Anthony (04:14):
Yeah. I mean, sometimes even just getting to that level,
it's a lot. And I like that the title is
so bold that you actually providing a way,
like, hey, you can actually do this.
Um, so you also mentioned that you read over, like, a hundred
books in finances. So
what were the, like, the major things behind that? Like, what
(04:35):
even drove you to even do that many books in
finance?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (04:38):
Yeah, so I did. I think the last count. I'm up to, like,
140something now, because it's. Now it's also just
my favorite thing to read. Um, what
really got me started is when I went to college,
I got there on a prayer and a scholarship, not because I wasn't
smart. Oh, I'm smart. Okay. Like, I have a whole doctorate to
prove, in case you ever wondered if I'm smart. But
(04:59):
we had so many family things going on that
financially, I wasn't sure I could even
physically get to school by the day I needed to be there. Although I
had a scholarship and although I had,
um, the acceptance and the dorm
assigned to me, it was like, can I even get a ride? Can I
physically get to school on the day
I'm supposed to be there? Because I don't even know if we have the money
(05:21):
for that, right? And I. And. But then I
had classmates who had parents who, during the
move in, were with us the whole week,
taking us to dinner, you know, make.
Asking us all about our lives, you know,
taking us to the big box store and like, oh, get whatever
you need. Um, and I had a classmate with a Range
(05:42):
Rover, and I was like, okay, their lives are
completely different than mine. I barely made it to
school by the day I needed to be here.
And their parents dropped them off with their Range
Rover and writing checks for tuition,
and I'm here with them. And so I
just got to learn the money part because I'm at smart,
(06:02):
possibly even smarter than these kids, because
I had to navigate a whole bunch of other stuff to get here
at this educational institution. And so I can learn the
money part. And let me tell you, as a poor kid, we spent a lot of time in the
library. So me and the library go. Go together
real bad. So I was like, there got to be a book about this. There's a book
about everything. So I went. And that campus
(06:23):
had seven libraries. Plus, because we. If you lived
on campus, you also had access to the city library.
I was like, I got access to seven, eight libraries.
So I started checking out books about
money. I think one of the first books I read was Girl, get
your credit straight. And, like, I didn't even have any credit, but I was like,
it's a black author, is a black author.
(06:44):
Michelle Singletary wrote the. You know, the comment
on the back, And I was like, she's huge. She walked. She writes money
columns for the Washington Post, a national newspaper.
Like, let me read this book. I think I read Personal Finance for
Dummies. And then Susie Orman was big at that
time. So I was like, oh, Susie Orman is my girl.
And so I just kept reading books because one,
(07:04):
every book had a slightly different
angle and a slightly different order
and a slightly different set of stories and examples.
And one of the things that drove me to read so many
is so none of them
had what I needed. So I kept looking for what I needed.
I was looking for a book that would tell
(07:25):
me how to contribute to my family at home
because I was contributing to my family back home. How
could I do that and secure my own future
without like, um, without
saying no to them or myself? Like, how could I do both?
And none of the books told me how to do that. The other
thing is a lot of the books talk to me bad.
(07:46):
Like I picked up, I, I took my time, I went to the far
library, I put this book on hold,
it finally became available. I get the book. I'm excited to
finally read it because I've been waiting and one of the first things you tell me
is I'm stupid, I'm dumb, I made bad choices. And I'm like, hold up,
that's not, that's actually not my reality.
I'm out here doing the work,
(08:08):
literally and figuratively to figure money out and you want to talk
bad to me? And I was like, mhm. I'm going to write a book
that has that love in it
and that celebrates wherever
it, whatever it took you to get to the point of picking up a book
or listening to this podcast because
I didn't like books made me mad. I would still read
(08:28):
it, but I would be mad as I was reading it. Like, don't talk to me like this.
Don't nobody talk to me like this.
>> Anthony (08:32):
You don't talk to me like this. You know who I am. Like
you don't know me, you don't know where I came from.
So um, but having that ah, understanding
of what the love and care for the people. Because
you know, I grew up in the Pirates neighborhood as well
and figuring things out is interesting,
uh, because we had to, you know, with the bare minimum.
(08:54):
And it's funny that I can thrive in any
environment. Like if we just say like, hey,
as a leader who, you know, when you switch
jobs, they'd be like, hey, well we're just going to throw you in this pile. We're
just going to Give you everything that we don't feel like dealing with.
I'm like, cool. I pretty it up, make it
look good, send it back, automate everything
(09:15):
because I don't feel like doing it myself. And then they
was like, well, good job paddling back,
maybe get 25 cent raise.
Okay. But I don't get upset with the raised part.
I was like, at least I learned a new skill, move
on to that next level.
And it seems as though you took a lot of
this information that you've gained
(09:37):
and try to, not try to, but you actually
did turn this into a medium that
is something that people can actually gravitate towards
and actually build from your experiences
to take themselves to the next level.
So like, how has your parents
like help with, I guess you could say
(09:58):
the, the drive for everything that
you're doing today?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (10:03):
Yeah, I mean part of it was,
I remember thinking it shouldn't take this many books.
It should not take this many books. Like, and I,
I love to read, right? Like reading and now
listening to audiobooks and listening. I love
consuming new information and learning things.
But I know it's a lot of people who, if they never had to pick up a book
(10:23):
again in their life, they would be fine. Right?
And so if it really takes you 70,
80, 100 books, are you going to learn the
skill? And so, so what drove me to
do it was really like, maybe I can save
somebody some years and some tears. Maybe if I put all
this information and put it into stories from
(10:44):
my own life. Somebody who needed stories like
this reflected to them along with
the well researched lessons
that they'll be like, oh, I get it now, I
get it now. And my parents,
what I will say is, while we might not have had money,
you know, the women in my family gave me
(11:04):
so many deep, wonderful gifts and
richness in myself.
Like, you know, some people talk about imposter syndrome. I don't even know what that
is. I can barely pronounce it. And
part of that is because from a young age,
from an early part, the, the people in
my life told me, oh baby, you can do anything you want to do.
(11:26):
Follow the rules, watch, pay attention,
be kind and gracious, and that will get you incredibly
far. And they were all right, right?
Like, and if you are. And I remember,
I can't remember what exactly happened, but there was
some situation when I was a young child, I think I, oh,
it came to me. It came to me. I won a contest, I won
(11:46):
an art contest for third graders. And
the, my art was going to be in the Detroit
Institute of Art. This is a world
renowned, um,
art institution, right? Like, it's constantly on the
list of the best art institutions in the world. And I remember
being like, nervous, like, well, why did they pick my picture? I didn't even
(12:07):
think my picture was that good. And my mom told me,
baby, anywhere in this life
that you get invited to that you
accidentally happen on, you're supposed to be there. So
go and be happy and introduce yourself.
And so I've carried that with me everywhere.
And so if we can teach people
(12:27):
at every stage in their life that like, actually if you ended up
somewhere, even if you ended up there by accident, you're supposed to
be there and take advantage. Because, you know, take advantage has two meanings.
Take advantage means to take more than maybe you should,
but it also means to be present
and fully participate in the
experience. So take advantage.
>> Anthony (12:48):
I like that because it's like how you said we
both went to fincon, but it's like, did we really
take full advantage of what they had to offer? And I
think yes, because obviously we're meeting now. Um,
we taking advantage of the network, we took advantage of
the space branding,
um, getting connections with other financial folks that
(13:09):
we didn't even know were possible or even out there.
Um, shucks. I think
without fincon, I don't think I would have gotten this far
with the podcast. Honestly, I probably would have stopped a long time
ago, but who knows? Um, and
when it comes to taking event, um, Oh, I might
call that the episode title. Like this.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (13:29):
Oh, I love it. Yay. The episode told us it's
title, right?
>> Anthony (13:33):
Uh, because it's like, how do you take advantage
of, like, what does really taking advantage
mean to you? Almost like. But I mean, you already gave me your
answer. But I'm thinking for the person that's listening right now, what does
really taking advantage? Are you really taking advantage of your work,
of your job, of
uh, your living space, of your, your car,
(13:55):
your vehicles, like whatever it is, Are you really taking full
advantage of that?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (13:59):
Yeah. Are you making full use? And
one of the things that I've been working to, a part of my
business I've been working to grow is doing financial, well,
talks and workshops at, at employment,
at companies for their employees. Because
what I figured out is even in the company I work
for, people are not taking full advantage
(14:21):
of their benefits, right? They might participate
in their, their health insurance, their life insurance,
they might be doing the, the savings accounts
for, um, you know, child care or
for health. But
many companies, especially if you work For a mid size or larger
company, you have a ton of benefits available to
(14:42):
you that could make your life work smoother,
could reduce your out of pocket costs, could
reduce your tax liability, and it's right there in the
handbook. So are you reading the handbook? Are you
checking when there's changes? Are you making sure that you're
getting the full match? Are you taking advantage of the fact
that when you have the life insurance, you can
(15:02):
get a basic will made through the life insurance company?
Are you taking advantage of the enrollee, I'm sorry, the
employee assistance program. Are you
making full use of the different programs
and discounts that your company has arranged
for you? Because if you're not, did you know you're giving yourself a pay cut that's part of
your compensation? And you not taking full advantage
(15:22):
is almost like giving yourself a pay cut. And do we do
that? I don't think we do that.
>> Anthony (15:26):
We don't do that enough, I'll say that. Because the cool
thing about the employee assistance program is that, ah,
it renews every year. So if you need
therapy, you can go to therapy that I think they give you 12
sessions. So once a month you go and
then you can just re up next year. Like at least
let me get south. Yeah.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (15:45):
And I'm a military spouse and so we move
every. Our average will go up a little bit, but we move every
2.7 years. And so that
means that I have to have all new helpers, right?
I have to get a new therapist sometimes. I have to get a
new hairdresser, I have to find a new nail shop. I have to find new
doctors for myself, for my kids. Kids.
And the amazing thing that the
(16:07):
EAP helps with every time we move is
it gives me a shortcut to a therapist. And a lot
of times I can, through the health insurance I can say, hey, our address
is changing. Could you please help me find a
new primary care doctor for my kids
so that it saves me some of the stress of doing that by
myself? Like I can ask for help. Like,
(16:28):
please give me a list of pediatricians that are in this
zip code that can help with this issue and treat
patients this age. Right. So they're saving me time.
And time, boy, is the most valuable thing we have.
>> Anthony (16:39):
Okay, yeah, that is true. And we don't have much
of it when you really think about it.
Um, because you know, tomorrow's never promised. So.
But the cool thing about it, at least while we're here, we take like
taking advantage of our time
by doing these things. And this Is awesome. I like
this.
Uh, my mind is going now, but
(17:01):
let's go back to the family thing because,
um, when it comes to. Because a
lot of us, we either dealing with our family, we're dealing with our parents,
um, and I don't have kids, but most people,
like, people who have kids, are dealing with their kids
as well. What is it like,
um, bringing your kids up into this new
(17:22):
you when it comes to the finance side of the house?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (17:25):
Oh, we are so intentional about it, because
I know that in my own journey, I
did a lot of reflection on. Okay, what are the
messages and the beliefs that I have in my
brain about money? Which ones have served me
and continue to serve me, and which ones maybe harmed
me or kept me from doing something that would have been good
(17:46):
for me? Like what, what planted fear or
hesitation or. And so we're really
intentional about how we talk about money. And
our kids are, um, now four and six. And so we're also trying
to decide, like, how will money
work in terms of. Are we doing allowance? Is
the allowance going to be based on
certain activities they do in our home, certain activities they do
(18:09):
at school, certain activities they do in the community,
or will it be an allowance with no strings
attached in terms of how they earn it, but maybe strings
attached to how they spend it? So we're really doing a lot
of thought about that because the.
The things that we learned at 18
to 22 while we were in college and
(18:29):
beyond, we're hoping to plant the seeds of those
lessons now and make it age
appropriate and make it fun so that the
relationship that my kids grow up with, money is
one that they would say is healthy
and. And positive. Right? Like, one of the things that I
often ask people I'm working with as a coach is like, if
(18:49):
you had to describe money as a person. Right.
Personify it, how would you describe it? What's their name?
Are they your friend? Are they your friend of me? Are they your
enemy? What things do you do together? What things do
you avoid? Like how? Like, tell me about money as
a person. If they were a person in your life. And
I want my kids to be like, oh, money's my best friend. Money
(19:09):
takes me places I've never been. Money helps me solve
problems. Money helps me spend time with the people I love
most. Like, I want that to be their narrative. And
so we're planting seeds for that. And I, uh. And I think it's
working, actually. The. This morning I dropped my
daughter off for school, and she
noticed. She was like, oh, mommy, did you get new tires? Because I
(19:29):
told her I wanted to get new tires. She was like, did you get them from.
Because she's reading really good. And so she read the name of the
tire. She, oh, did you get them from the store? Because she knows we
have that store right near our neighborhood. I said, oh, actually, no.
That company has a tire store, but they also have a
tire factory, so you can buy the tires from that
tire store or from the factory at different
(19:50):
stores. And she said, oh. So I told her I got it at our
wholesale club. And I'm not saying nobody's names because I don't have
no sponsors. Right.
>> Anthony (19:58):
Not yet. So.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (20:00):
Right. So I told her, oh, I got it from our. The same place we
get our apple juice. And she said, oh, okay.
I said, because they had a coupon, and she knows what coupons
are. I said, so at the tire store. The
tire store, the tires would have cost $100,
but with my coupon, I got it for $80.
She was like, $20. Wow.
(20:20):
That's a big difference, right? And so, like,
working in these small examples
of ways that we use our money and talking about money
openly because, um. And when they ask for
stuff, you know, not to be like, we ain't got it. We don't have no
McDonald's money. We don't have this. No, you can't have it. That's
too expensive to just be, like, to say, well,
(20:40):
thank you for telling me you want that toy. That's not what we came to the
store for. Remember, we came for flash. We came for trash
bags and light bulbs. Is that a trash bag or a light
bulb? It's not. Okay, then. That's not why we're at the store today.
Right? And so how we talk about
money, we're very intentional about it because
we. We want the kids to also have language for it.
>> Anthony (21:02):
That is good that you guys are doing that, uh,
for your child and for your children, actually.
But how is that conversation happening now with your
parents? Are they, like, listening to you now or you still got
the diaper syndrome?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (21:15):
Oh, no, the. Um. Luckily, my
mom has been a pretty good
listener for, I would say, the last,
like, 15 or 20 years, she's been a pretty good
listener about money. Right? And,
um, like, we actually, when I was in
graduate school, I put her on a budget. I was
like, mom, you need to be on a budget. Like, you.
(21:38):
You are on a budget. You don't realize that, but you don't behave
that way. So we. We made a money plan for her.
And she followed it, and things
ran pretty smoothly on the plan that I made for her. And then when
my siblings got of age and went to
college and. And like, I also put. I put everybody.
Everybody's on a plan. Everybody's on the plan.
(21:58):
And I was really selfish. It was really a selfish
end. Right. 1. It was me kind of like
testing that I actually knew what I was talking about. Because, you know, you
can do stuff for yourself, but that doesn't mean you can teach other people how to do it. Right.
But also, too, is my goal was to have none of them
suckers living in my basement. They are welcome.
They are welcome. There is space.
(22:21):
If something truly happened, I, um, of course
will care for my family and help them make the
adjustments they need to make. And my goal is that they
don't ever need to pull that lever. Right. And so
luckily, my sister listened very good. My brother listened
very good. They're doing, in some ways
financially better than me because we have children, so we have a
(22:42):
lot of expenses with our children. Our childcare bill.
Our childcare bill is crazy.
>> Anthony (22:47):
If you can solve that, that's a billion dollar
industry right there.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (22:51):
If you can solve that, our childcare bill is crazy. And
so in some ways, my siblings who don't yet have children,
they are doing differently and
m. In some ways better than us financially because their
obligations are just different. And because.
Because I also caught them early as they were getting those first
jobs, as they were getting that first, you
know, student loan. Okay, how do I. How do I pay this off?
(23:13):
How do I manage it? As they were thinking about opening that first credit
card, I was there along the way to kind of be like, okay, well, think about
this. And so they made really good financial
decisions as young people. So now that they're in their
30s, it's smooth sailing.
>> Anthony (23:28):
Yeah. And that's good that they actually
listened to because it's. Sometimes
they don't want to listen because, like, uh, who you
think you are you better than me or whatever? We grew up in the same
household. Like, no, you're there to
kind of help each other out like you want to,
but they just don't listen sometimes.
(23:48):
I don't know. But I like the motivation.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (23:51):
Uh, yeah. And it's. It's also easy. I
think it's easier to listen to someone who starts with love, Right?
I always start with love. Instead of like, I can't
believe you made that choice. Like the books, right? The
going full circle, going back to earlier in this conversation,
like, instead of me, like, I Can't believe you got into credit card debt. I can't
believe you took out that kind of loan. I can't believe you chose that apartment. It's so
(24:11):
expensive. It's like, oh, well, why'd you choose that? Okay, what made you make
that decision? Is that is this choice
hurting other things in your life? And how do we make the adjustment, like
starting with love. And that makes a big difference
in people's willingness to listen to you.
>> Anthony (24:26):
Okay. That would be really helpful for people who are listening
right now to start having that conversation with their
family. Thank you for sharing that.
Um, we're going to slide over to the features a little
bit. What do you feel is
really going to help improve your life or even your
career?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (24:44):
There's a couple things I'm working on right now.
Um, and part of it is I'm seeking
good advisors. I feel
like in a lot of places and spaces in my
life, I have been the advisor. I'm
the oldest child, so I'm the oldest sister. I
am often seen as a leader at work
(25:05):
or among my friends groups or in community
groups. And so I feel like.
But I need some guidance now. And so I'm really
working to find a business coach. I'm
looking to find mentors who
are going where I think I might be going, even though it might change
by the time we talk. Right. Because I
recognize the power of having someone who's
(25:28):
a little bit ahead of you, who can just help you
see the things that you can't see from this side, but they
have already walked through it from the other side.
Um, and that will help me. That will help me
a lot. And then the other thing is,
I'm checking in on my friends at the time we're recording
this. Um, there's a ton of uncertainty
(25:49):
because there's a new federal administration
and they are reshaping the federal government.
And I work in three industries
that are going to be shaped likely. First,
I work in health insurance. I work for a Medicaid health
plan. And so government insurance programs
are likely to be reshaped pretty quickly.
(26:11):
My background. And so almost all of my colleagues, all the people
I went to graduate school with and worked with at other
places work in public health being
reshaped. And I'm a professor, so I work in education.
So between federal grant changes and changes to
the Department of Education, I'm
seeing that a lot of the people in my life are
(26:31):
experiencing, uh, one, uncertainty, but
also trying to figure out, well, what do I do? What will I
do? And so One of the things that I'm really
boiling down in the way that I'm posting
content online and talking with folks is,
okay, what do you have control over when it comes to your money?
Let's exert that control to your full
(26:52):
potential right now while things are uncertain.
Because one, having that control will help
you feel better as all this stuff happens around
you. And two, by exerting the control
you do have, it may mean you can weather the
storms that are coming a little bit
more smoothly or perhaps even longer because you
(27:12):
took stock of what money you
had, what money you didn't, what things could be
shifted, delayed, cut, um,
what things needed to be increased to make, make
it just run smoothly, what things could come
or go, what order to do things. And doing
that work at the very
beginning, when you have a big change or slightly before,
(27:35):
if you anticipate a change to your income is coming,
can just make you feel better.
>> Anthony (27:42):
I like that.
Is there anything that you want to leave the audience with before we
dive into the final four questions?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (27:50):
No. I'm so excited for these questions.
>> Anthony (27:54):
Awesome. Alrighty.
Question number one. What does wealth
mean to you?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (28:08):
Wealth means I have choices. It
means that if a problem arises,
if there's something I want to do, that I have
choices for solving that problem or
doing the thing that I want to do. Wealth is
choices.
>> Anthony (28:24):
Number two, what was your worst money
mistake?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (28:30):
So when I, you know,
it's about to be good. So this is so. So buckle up.
So when I was in graduate school the second time, when I was working on
my doctorate, I was in graduate school for eight years.
Eight years. Okay. And I had a small student
loan balance from my master's degree, something
really like 10 or
(28:51):
$12,000. And because I was
always registered for classes, my
loans were deferred. So for eight years my
loans were deferred and I should have just been making payments on
them because then my student loans would have been gone and
my payments on that 10 or $12,000 of debt
were like 150amonth. So why I
(29:11):
didn't continue making my student loan payments while I was in
graduate school, I still have no idea
why I didn't. And I'm still
mad at myself because those loans could have been gone.
Gone. Yeah.
>> Anthony (29:29):
That's a whole nother episode. Okay.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (29:30):
Yeah. But it's okay. I did, I did do
that. Eight years. And George Washington University
had let me leave with a degree, but I left
with zero new debt.
>> Anthony (29:41):
That's, uh, so.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (29:44):
So that's how I redeemed Myself a little bit is that I got that
doctorate with zero new debt, even though I
foolishly did not continue making the payments on
the little bit of debt I had for my master's degree.
Mad. Still mad. As you see, I'm still mad. You heard
that at the beginning.
>> Anthony (30:00):
Yes.
With you.
Uh, number three, is there a
book that inspired your journey or changed your
perspective?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (30:12):
Uh, well, we're going to talk about how to afford
everything.
>> Anthony (30:17):
You know, eyebrows. Eyebrows. Okay.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (30:19):
Right, Right. You know, the, um. The.
The journey to writing this book was
10 years in the making. You know, like, after
I read, like, 20 books, I was like, I could probably write a book.
After I read 40 books, I was like, I definitely can write a book.
Books. I was like, why haven't I write a book? And one day, my
husband. I had just finished yet another personal finance book, and we were
(30:41):
sitting on the couch, and he noticed I'd finished. I think I was listening to one.
He noticed I finished it. He's like, oh, how'd you like that? I was like, man, I could have
wrote this book. He was like, you know, you've been saying that for a few years.
Um, you're done with school. I think we have our childcare set
up really solid right now. What. What would it take for you to
write a book? And I was like, I think I need an editor because I have too
many ideas in my brain. I need
(31:02):
somebody to help me kind of untangle them, because it's
probably two or three books in my br. But you can't write one
book that's really two or three. You'll lose people. So I need somebody to help
me, like, untie what's book one
and what's book two and what's book three so that people can get
something from it. He was like, okay, go find an editor. So I find an
editor. I interviewed, I think eight.
And, you know, in the one or two that I like
(31:25):
the best, I said, you know, could I buy an hour of your time? And we
do a sample work session. I just want to make sure we'll be working well together,
because this project has been on my heart for a decade. And
so I need it to go well because I'm finally, like, committing to
doing it. And so the
editor I ended up going with, we
outlined all 10 chapters
(31:46):
in 37 minutes. And she was like, okay,
so we. We didn't use the whole hour.
What are you thinking? How do you want to use the last, uh, 20
minutes of our call? And I was like, actually, I think I'M good. Thank
you for the outline. She was like, so are you thinking you're gonna move forward? I was
like, I am. Please send me the contract and the agreement. And.
And I'll pay from the time I paid
(32:06):
my deposit for her fees to
the time I was holding. And this is the actual one, the first
one I took out of the box. This is my emotional support copy of how to
afford everything was
127 days. That's, uh,
quick, because between the
outline and having the path,
it poured out of me. And so
(32:29):
this. This is why. That's the book that changed everything.
>> Anthony (32:32):
Got you.
Um, I do have a question, because it's. One of the
listeners actually is looking to write a book, but she is
like, you have so many ideas. Is it best to get an
editor after you wrote your thoughts out, or is it best
to get one early on just to get the outline and then you can hire them
back when you're ready to write the rest of it?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (32:50):
Yeah, so there's a different. There's different types of editors. So you can look
for something called a developmental elevator. I'm
sorry, a, uh, developmental editor. And this is an editor
who specializes in helping you develop the story
and develop the path. And so this could
be someone who you might have a couple hours of sessions
with. So it might not be a huge expense because you're
(33:10):
just. Just talking through what you've been thinking. And they help. They ask
you, they guide you through how to put that in a
way that makes sense. So that might just be a couple hours of
sessions and may not be a huge expense. And
frankly, once you have that, you might be ready to just write.
And then you get the editor, a different type of editor,
someone who's going to check for grammar and for flow
(33:31):
later once the project is done. And so you can get
editors for different types of support. And if, you
know, you only need help with this. This component, you
can. You know, you can do that at a lower cost
than hiring an editor for the whole project when you're not fully
in the project yet.
>> Anthony (33:46):
That makes sense. Okay. Thank you for that.
I was asking for myself, really, but thanks.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (33:52):
Great. Hey, I think that's. That's the.
The privilege of having a podcast, right? You get people on your
show you want to talk to because you got problems you working through.
You want solutions? Heck, yeah. Take Advantage.
>> Anthony (34:03):
All right? Take.
This is the show. Take Advantage. I love it.
Uh, number four,
what is your favorite.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (34:14):
Dish to make m.
Okay, so my kids are in their picky
food stage, so I haven't been cooking,
um, the flavorful things that I usually like.
But a couple months ago, I had this
hankering for something Indian. And where we're living right now
are. The Indian restaurants are not that great. Great. They're just. They're just not.
(34:34):
And that's okay. It's okay. We're gonna move. We're
gonna move soon, and we'll be in a place where the Indian restaurant is better.
And so. And the okra at the grocery store just looks
so beautiful. Like, you ever go to the grocery store and some
vegetable just looks like, I don't know what I'm gonna do with it, but
I'm buying that vegetable and I'm gonna do something with. The okra was just
gorgeous. So I bought, like, two big
(34:54):
handfuls of okra. I cut it up, and I made
bendi masala, which is so simple.
It's just okra, onion,
tomato, and then all of the seasonings.
And the tomato makes this little soft
kind of sauce that comes in with
all the seasonings. And I put that on top of some rice,
and it. It hit so hard. Like, the okra
(35:17):
was perfect. It was seasoned so good. Like,
I'm gonna make it again. I just been waiting for the okra to look as good.
The last few times I went to the grocery store, the okra has not looked as
beautiful as it did that day. Day.
>> Anthony (35:28):
Okay, so what kind of rice we looking at? Like,
basmati.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (35:31):
So that day I had jasmine. Basmati would have
been better, but I had Jasmine is what I had. So I made
it work. I made it work.
>> Anthony (35:39):
Okay. All right, well, we gotta catch back up and let
you know. I need to see a picture because it sounds so good
and simple ingredients. You know, I'll text.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (35:47):
I. I have the picture because I told everybody. I told. I have some.
I have some Indian friends who are always impressed when I tell
them I can cook a little bit of Indian food. And so I said. I said, look
at this bindi masala. And they were like, oh, that looks really good. I was like, see,
I told you. Okay, so I can send you the
picture.
>> Anthony (36:02):
Yeah, yeah, please send that thing.
Um, this is the last question of the show,
which is where could people find out more
about you?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (36:12):
Oh, please come find
me@darlabishop.com
Social. And the reason I have, I have a
specific landing page, so that way you can just find all the things
you could ever find without having to look for me. So all the social. Socials are
there. Um, the links to the different freebies I
have. So darlabishop.com social
alrighty.
>> Anthony (36:33):
Well, thank you Darla, for so
much information about really taking
advantage of, uh, everything that you
have, whether it's you're coming from poverty or
coming from, you know, your silver spoon
background, you have to take advantage of
those opportunities and actually put your own spin on
it, put your own stink on it. Some with some say
(36:55):
this is your opportunity. You have what it takes, everybody.
And please make sure that if you made it this far,
just want to say thank you so much for sticking with us
this long. And you all
have a wonderful day. Yacht
peace.
And it's. It's also easy. I think it's
(00:02):
easier to listen to someone who starts with love, right? I always
start with love. Instead of like, I can't believe you made
that choice. Like the books, right? The full
circle going back to the earlier in this conversation, like, instead of
me, like, I can't believe you got into credit card debt. I can't believe you took out
that kind of loan. I can't believe you chose that apartment. It's so expensive. It's like,
oh, well, why'd you choose that? Okay, what made you make that decision
(00:23):
is that is this choice hurting other things
in your life? And how do we make the adjustment? Like, starting with love,
and that makes a big difference. And people
willingness to listen.
>> Anthony (00:36):
Welcome back, everybody, to another exciting show of the about
that Wallet podcast, where we help the sandwich
generation build strong financial habits where
they can spend money, talk about money,
and even enjoy their money with confidence.
Today I have somebody who has been doing such
an amazing job, even came up with a book on how
to afford everything. And you know what, you
(00:59):
sandwich generation folks, it is very
important that you know that
it is tight with your money, dealing with your kids,
and also dealing with your parents. And the person I have
in on today is Dr. Dollar Bishop. How
you doing today?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (01:16):
I'm excellent. I'm so excited to talk with you.
You know, in the pre show, we talked about how we were at Fincon together this,
um, in 2024, and how I'm just super
thrilled to be with you today. Thank you for having me.
>> Anthony (01:28):
No problem. Are you going to fincon this year?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (01:30):
Yes, I bought my ticket. I've been watching, um,
flights, but I think it's too early to buy. Um,
I'm really trying to get a speaking gig so that way the trip can be
funded slash sponsored by somebody else.
>> Anthony (01:42):
I know, right?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (01:43):
One of the ways to afford everything. Okay, there you go.
>> Anthony (01:46):
It's, uh, it's not what they say. It's not who
me, it's not what, not how, but who
to figure out. Because I'm trying to do the same thing. And I was like,
if I become a speaker, I'm like, who is going to sponsor my slides?
Like, I want to put their. Their branding across the slides. Like,
we can make this work.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (02:02):
Yes. And like, my mama gonna be mad when I say this, but I'm
for sale. Dr. Darla Bishop is for sale.
Sponsor me.
>> Anthony (02:11):
That's how we gonna start this show off. Okay, so she's up
for sale.
Um, but one of the things so you come
up with the title, such a bold title on how
to afford everything. Uh, what was the
idea behind it, and what do you hope people to get away from it?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (02:27):
Yeah, that's exactly it. I wanted to make a bold promise to
readers because I really
wanted people who were either
scared to pick up a book about money or who
had previously been hurt by a book about money
to pick this one up. And
if you've ever worked on a big project, you know,
(02:47):
like, when it came to this book, I was waiting
for the book to tell me its title, right?
I was like, okay, we're working through the chapter. I had a great editor.
We were working through the chapters one by one. She's like, okay,
we got to start working on the COVID art. Uh, what's the title going to be? I'm
like, I'm waiting for the book to tell us. I'm waiting for the book to tell us.
And the book didn't quite tell us. She was like, well, I need you to tell
(03:08):
me, because we got to make this cover.
And so I just, like, got real quiet one day and
thought, well, what. What is the promise of this book?
What is it that I want people to see when they see the
COVID and think about.
And I thought about all the conversations I had had with
friends, family, co workers,
(03:28):
people on the street who, like, let me get in business a little
bit. And so much of what would come up is
like, I just want to know how to afford everything. Like, I just want to know how to
do. I just want to know how to. But that everything
wasn't like yachts and trips to Bali
for some. A couple people, it was. But it was like, I want to just
be able to put the bills on autopay. I want to be able to. When
(03:49):
my kid is at the store and they ask for something that I
want them to have to be able to say, yes. When my mom
or my auntie or my uncle has a small
problem that a little bit of money could solve, I want to just be able to
solve the problem. Like, I just want to be able to do everything.
And I was like, you know what? That's. That's the title.
How to afford everything. Because everything for you
(04:10):
right now might be as simple as, I just want to be able to put these bills on
auto pay.
>> Anthony (04:14):
Yeah. I mean, sometimes even just getting to that level,
it's a lot. And I like that the title is
so bold that you actually providing a way,
like, hey, you can actually do this.
Um, so you also mentioned that you read over, like, a hundred
books in finances. So
what were the, like, the major things behind that? Like, what
(04:35):
even drove you to even do that many books in
finance?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (04:38):
Yeah, so I did. I think the last count. I'm up to, like,
140something now, because it's. Now it's also just
my favorite thing to read. Um, what
really got me started is when I went to college,
I got there on a prayer and a scholarship, not because I wasn't
smart. Oh, I'm smart. Okay. Like, I have a whole doctorate to
prove, in case you ever wondered if I'm smart. But
(04:59):
we had so many family things going on that
financially, I wasn't sure I could even
physically get to school by the day I needed to be there. Although I
had a scholarship and although I had,
um, the acceptance and the dorm
assigned to me, it was like, can I even get a ride? Can I
physically get to school on the day
I'm supposed to be there? Because I don't even know if we have the money
(05:21):
for that, right? And I. And. But then I
had classmates who had parents who, during the
move in, were with us the whole week,
taking us to dinner, you know, make.
Asking us all about our lives, you know,
taking us to the big box store and like, oh, get whatever
you need. Um, and I had a classmate with a Range
(05:42):
Rover, and I was like, okay, their lives are
completely different than mine. I barely made it to
school by the day I needed to be here.
And their parents dropped them off with their Range
Rover and writing checks for tuition,
and I'm here with them. And so I
just got to learn the money part because I'm at smart,
(06:02):
possibly even smarter than these kids, because
I had to navigate a whole bunch of other stuff to get here
at this educational institution. And so I can learn the
money part. And let me tell you, as a poor kid, we spent a lot of time in the
library. So me and the library go. Go together
real bad. So I was like, there got to be a book about this. There's a book
about everything. So I went. And that campus
(06:23):
had seven libraries. Plus, because we. If you lived
on campus, you also had access to the city library.
I was like, I got access to seven, eight libraries.
So I started checking out books about
money. I think one of the first books I read was Girl, get
your credit straight. And, like, I didn't even have any credit, but I was like,
it's a black author, is a black author.
(06:44):
Michelle Singletary wrote the. You know, the comment
on the back, And I was like, she's huge. She walked. She writes money
columns for the Washington Post, a national newspaper.
Like, let me read this book. I think I read Personal Finance for
Dummies. And then Susie Orman was big at that
time. So I was like, oh, Susie Orman is my girl.
And so I just kept reading books because one,
(07:04):
every book had a slightly different
angle and a slightly different order
and a slightly different set of stories and examples.
And one of the things that drove me to read so many
is so none of them
had what I needed. So I kept looking for what I needed.
I was looking for a book that would tell
(07:25):
me how to contribute to my family at home
because I was contributing to my family back home. How
could I do that and secure my own future
without like, um, without
saying no to them or myself? Like, how could I do both?
And none of the books told me how to do that. The other
thing is a lot of the books talk to me bad.
(07:46):
Like I picked up, I, I took my time, I went to the far
library, I put this book on hold,
it finally became available. I get the book. I'm excited to
finally read it because I've been waiting and one of the first things you tell me
is I'm stupid, I'm dumb, I made bad choices. And I'm like, hold up,
that's not, that's actually not my reality.
I'm out here doing the work,
(08:08):
literally and figuratively to figure money out and you want to talk
bad to me? And I was like, mhm. I'm going to write a book
that has that love in it
and that celebrates wherever
it, whatever it took you to get to the point of picking up a book
or listening to this podcast because
I didn't like books made me mad. I would still read
(08:28):
it, but I would be mad as I was reading it. Like, don't talk to me like this.
Don't nobody talk to me like this.
>> Anthony (08:32):
You don't talk to me like this. You know who I am. Like
you don't know me, you don't know where I came from.
So um, but having that ah, understanding
of what the love and care for the people. Because
you know, I grew up in the Pirates neighborhood as well
and figuring things out is interesting,
uh, because we had to, you know, with the bare minimum.
(08:54):
And it's funny that I can thrive in any
environment. Like if we just say like, hey,
as a leader who, you know, when you switch
jobs, they'd be like, hey, well we're just going to throw you in this pile. We're
just going to Give you everything that we don't feel like dealing with.
I'm like, cool. I pretty it up, make it
look good, send it back, automate everything
(09:15):
because I don't feel like doing it myself. And then they
was like, well, good job paddling back,
maybe get 25 cent raise.
Okay. But I don't get upset with the raised part.
I was like, at least I learned a new skill, move
on to that next level.
And it seems as though you took a lot of
this information that you've gained
(09:37):
and try to, not try to, but you actually
did turn this into a medium that
is something that people can actually gravitate towards
and actually build from your experiences
to take themselves to the next level.
So like, how has your parents
like help with, I guess you could say
(09:58):
the, the drive for everything that
you're doing today?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (10:03):
Yeah, I mean part of it was,
I remember thinking it shouldn't take this many books.
It should not take this many books. Like, and I,
I love to read, right? Like reading and now
listening to audiobooks and listening. I love
consuming new information and learning things.
But I know it's a lot of people who, if they never had to pick up a book
(10:23):
again in their life, they would be fine. Right?
And so if it really takes you 70,
80, 100 books, are you going to learn the
skill? And so, so what drove me to
do it was really like, maybe I can save
somebody some years and some tears. Maybe if I put all
this information and put it into stories from
(10:44):
my own life. Somebody who needed stories like
this reflected to them along with
the well researched lessons
that they'll be like, oh, I get it now, I
get it now. And my parents,
what I will say is, while we might not have had money,
you know, the women in my family gave me
(11:04):
so many deep, wonderful gifts and
richness in myself.
Like, you know, some people talk about imposter syndrome. I don't even know what that
is. I can barely pronounce it. And
part of that is because from a young age,
from an early part, the, the people in
my life told me, oh baby, you can do anything you want to do.
(11:26):
Follow the rules, watch, pay attention,
be kind and gracious, and that will get you incredibly
far. And they were all right, right?
Like, and if you are. And I remember,
I can't remember what exactly happened, but there was
some situation when I was a young child, I think I, oh,
it came to me. It came to me. I won a contest, I won
(11:46):
an art contest for third graders. And
the, my art was going to be in the Detroit
Institute of Art. This is a world
renowned, um,
art institution, right? Like, it's constantly on the
list of the best art institutions in the world. And I remember
being like, nervous, like, well, why did they pick my picture? I didn't even
(12:07):
think my picture was that good. And my mom told me,
baby, anywhere in this life
that you get invited to that you
accidentally happen on, you're supposed to be there. So
go and be happy and introduce yourself.
And so I've carried that with me everywhere.
And so if we can teach people
(12:27):
at every stage in their life that like, actually if you ended up
somewhere, even if you ended up there by accident, you're supposed to
be there and take advantage. Because, you know, take advantage has two meanings.
Take advantage means to take more than maybe you should,
but it also means to be present
and fully participate in the
experience. So take advantage.
>> Anthony (12:48):
I like that because it's like how you said we
both went to fincon, but it's like, did we really
take full advantage of what they had to offer? And I
think yes, because obviously we're meeting now. Um,
we taking advantage of the network, we took advantage of
the space branding,
um, getting connections with other financial folks that
(13:09):
we didn't even know were possible or even out there.
Um, shucks. I think
without fincon, I don't think I would have gotten this far
with the podcast. Honestly, I probably would have stopped a long time
ago, but who knows? Um, and
when it comes to taking event, um, Oh, I might
call that the episode title. Like this.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (13:29):
Oh, I love it. Yay. The episode told us it's
title, right?
>> Anthony (13:33):
Uh, because it's like, how do you take advantage
of, like, what does really taking advantage
mean to you? Almost like. But I mean, you already gave me your
answer. But I'm thinking for the person that's listening right now, what does
really taking advantage? Are you really taking advantage of your work,
of your job, of
uh, your living space, of your, your car,
(13:55):
your vehicles, like whatever it is, Are you really taking full
advantage of that?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (13:59):
Yeah. Are you making full use? And
one of the things that I've been working to, a part of my
business I've been working to grow is doing financial, well,
talks and workshops at, at employment,
at companies for their employees. Because
what I figured out is even in the company I work
for, people are not taking full advantage
(14:21):
of their benefits, right? They might participate
in their, their health insurance, their life insurance,
they might be doing the, the savings accounts
for, um, you know, child care or
for health. But
many companies, especially if you work For a mid size or larger
company, you have a ton of benefits available to
(14:42):
you that could make your life work smoother,
could reduce your out of pocket costs, could
reduce your tax liability, and it's right there in the
handbook. So are you reading the handbook? Are you
checking when there's changes? Are you making sure that you're
getting the full match? Are you taking advantage of the fact
that when you have the life insurance, you can
(15:02):
get a basic will made through the life insurance company?
Are you taking advantage of the enrollee, I'm sorry, the
employee assistance program. Are you
making full use of the different programs
and discounts that your company has arranged
for you? Because if you're not, did you know you're giving yourself a pay cut that's part of
your compensation? And you not taking full advantage
(15:22):
is almost like giving yourself a pay cut. And do we do
that? I don't think we do that.
>> Anthony (15:26):
We don't do that enough, I'll say that. Because the cool
thing about the employee assistance program is that, ah,
it renews every year. So if you need
therapy, you can go to therapy that I think they give you 12
sessions. So once a month you go and
then you can just re up next year. Like at least
let me get south. Yeah.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (15:45):
And I'm a military spouse and so we move
every. Our average will go up a little bit, but we move every
2.7 years. And so that
means that I have to have all new helpers, right?
I have to get a new therapist sometimes. I have to get a
new hairdresser, I have to find a new nail shop. I have to find new
doctors for myself, for my kids. Kids.
And the amazing thing that the
(16:07):
EAP helps with every time we move is
it gives me a shortcut to a therapist. And a lot
of times I can, through the health insurance I can say, hey, our address
is changing. Could you please help me find a
new primary care doctor for my kids
so that it saves me some of the stress of doing that by
myself? Like I can ask for help. Like,
(16:28):
please give me a list of pediatricians that are in this
zip code that can help with this issue and treat
patients this age. Right. So they're saving me time.
And time, boy, is the most valuable thing we have.
>> Anthony (16:39):
Okay, yeah, that is true. And we don't have much
of it when you really think about it.
Um, because you know, tomorrow's never promised. So.
But the cool thing about it, at least while we're here, we take like
taking advantage of our time
by doing these things. And this Is awesome. I like
this.
Uh, my mind is going now, but
(17:01):
let's go back to the family thing because,
um, when it comes to. Because a
lot of us, we either dealing with our family, we're dealing with our parents,
um, and I don't have kids, but most people,
like, people who have kids, are dealing with their kids
as well. What is it like,
um, bringing your kids up into this new
(17:22):
you when it comes to the finance side of the house?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (17:25):
Oh, we are so intentional about it, because
I know that in my own journey, I
did a lot of reflection on. Okay, what are the
messages and the beliefs that I have in my
brain about money? Which ones have served me
and continue to serve me, and which ones maybe harmed
me or kept me from doing something that would have been good
(17:46):
for me? Like what, what planted fear or
hesitation or. And so we're really
intentional about how we talk about money. And
our kids are, um, now four and six. And so we're also trying
to decide, like, how will money
work in terms of. Are we doing allowance? Is
the allowance going to be based on
certain activities they do in our home, certain activities they do
(18:09):
at school, certain activities they do in the community,
or will it be an allowance with no strings
attached in terms of how they earn it, but maybe strings
attached to how they spend it? So we're really doing a lot
of thought about that because the.
The things that we learned at 18
to 22 while we were in college and
(18:29):
beyond, we're hoping to plant the seeds of those
lessons now and make it age
appropriate and make it fun so that the
relationship that my kids grow up with, money is
one that they would say is healthy
and. And positive. Right? Like, one of the things that I
often ask people I'm working with as a coach is like, if
(18:49):
you had to describe money as a person. Right.
Personify it, how would you describe it? What's their name?
Are they your friend? Are they your friend of me? Are they your
enemy? What things do you do together? What things do
you avoid? Like how? Like, tell me about money as
a person. If they were a person in your life. And
I want my kids to be like, oh, money's my best friend. Money
(19:09):
takes me places I've never been. Money helps me solve
problems. Money helps me spend time with the people I love
most. Like, I want that to be their narrative. And
so we're planting seeds for that. And I, uh. And I think it's
working, actually. The. This morning I dropped my
daughter off for school, and she
noticed. She was like, oh, mommy, did you get new tires? Because I
(19:29):
told her I wanted to get new tires. She was like, did you get them from.
Because she's reading really good. And so she read the name of the
tire. She, oh, did you get them from the store? Because she knows we
have that store right near our neighborhood. I said, oh, actually, no.
That company has a tire store, but they also have a
tire factory, so you can buy the tires from that
tire store or from the factory at different
(19:50):
stores. And she said, oh. So I told her I got it at our
wholesale club. And I'm not saying nobody's names because I don't have
no sponsors. Right.
>> Anthony (19:58):
Not yet. So.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (20:00):
Right. So I told her, oh, I got it from our. The same place we
get our apple juice. And she said, oh, okay.
I said, because they had a coupon, and she knows what coupons
are. I said, so at the tire store. The
tire store, the tires would have cost $100,
but with my coupon, I got it for $80.
She was like, $20. Wow.
(20:20):
That's a big difference, right? And so, like,
working in these small examples
of ways that we use our money and talking about money
openly because, um. And when they ask for
stuff, you know, not to be like, we ain't got it. We don't have no
McDonald's money. We don't have this. No, you can't have it. That's
too expensive to just be, like, to say, well,
(20:40):
thank you for telling me you want that toy. That's not what we came to the
store for. Remember, we came for flash. We came for trash
bags and light bulbs. Is that a trash bag or a light
bulb? It's not. Okay, then. That's not why we're at the store today.
Right? And so how we talk about
money, we're very intentional about it because
we. We want the kids to also have language for it.
>> Anthony (21:02):
That is good that you guys are doing that, uh,
for your child and for your children, actually.
But how is that conversation happening now with your
parents? Are they, like, listening to you now or you still got
the diaper syndrome?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (21:15):
Oh, no, the. Um. Luckily, my
mom has been a pretty good
listener for, I would say, the last,
like, 15 or 20 years, she's been a pretty good
listener about money. Right? And,
um, like, we actually, when I was in
graduate school, I put her on a budget. I was
like, mom, you need to be on a budget. Like, you.
(21:38):
You are on a budget. You don't realize that, but you don't behave
that way. So we. We made a money plan for her.
And she followed it, and things
ran pretty smoothly on the plan that I made for her. And then when
my siblings got of age and went to
college and. And like, I also put. I put everybody.
Everybody's on a plan. Everybody's on the plan.
(21:58):
And I was really selfish. It was really a selfish
end. Right. 1. It was me kind of like
testing that I actually knew what I was talking about. Because, you know, you
can do stuff for yourself, but that doesn't mean you can teach other people how to do it. Right.
But also, too, is my goal was to have none of them
suckers living in my basement. They are welcome.
They are welcome. There is space.
(22:21):
If something truly happened, I, um, of course
will care for my family and help them make the
adjustments they need to make. And my goal is that they
don't ever need to pull that lever. Right. And so
luckily, my sister listened very good. My brother listened
very good. They're doing, in some ways
financially better than me because we have children, so we have a
(22:42):
lot of expenses with our children. Our childcare bill.
Our childcare bill is crazy.
>> Anthony (22:47):
If you can solve that, that's a billion dollar
industry right there.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (22:51):
If you can solve that, our childcare bill is crazy. And
so in some ways, my siblings who don't yet have children,
they are doing differently and
m. In some ways better than us financially because their
obligations are just different. And because.
Because I also caught them early as they were getting those first
jobs, as they were getting that first, you
know, student loan. Okay, how do I. How do I pay this off?
(23:13):
How do I manage it? As they were thinking about opening that first credit
card, I was there along the way to kind of be like, okay, well, think about
this. And so they made really good financial
decisions as young people. So now that they're in their
30s, it's smooth sailing.
>> Anthony (23:28):
Yeah. And that's good that they actually
listened to because it's. Sometimes
they don't want to listen because, like, uh, who you
think you are you better than me or whatever? We grew up in the same
household. Like, no, you're there to
kind of help each other out like you want to,
but they just don't listen sometimes.
(23:48):
I don't know. But I like the motivation.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (23:51):
Uh, yeah. And it's. It's also easy. I
think it's easier to listen to someone who starts with love, Right?
I always start with love. Instead of like, I can't
believe you made that choice. Like the books, right? The
going full circle, going back to earlier in this conversation,
like, instead of me, like, I Can't believe you got into credit card debt. I can't
believe you took out that kind of loan. I can't believe you chose that apartment. It's so
(24:11):
expensive. It's like, oh, well, why'd you choose that? Okay, what made you make
that decision? Is that is this choice
hurting other things in your life? And how do we make the adjustment, like
starting with love. And that makes a big difference
in people's willingness to listen to you.
>> Anthony (24:26):
Okay. That would be really helpful for people who are listening
right now to start having that conversation with their
family. Thank you for sharing that.
Um, we're going to slide over to the features a little
bit. What do you feel is
really going to help improve your life or even your
career?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (24:44):
There's a couple things I'm working on right now.
Um, and part of it is I'm seeking
good advisors. I feel
like in a lot of places and spaces in my
life, I have been the advisor. I'm
the oldest child, so I'm the oldest sister. I
am often seen as a leader at work
(25:05):
or among my friends groups or in community
groups. And so I feel like.
But I need some guidance now. And so I'm really
working to find a business coach. I'm
looking to find mentors who
are going where I think I might be going, even though it might change
by the time we talk. Right. Because I
recognize the power of having someone who's
(25:28):
a little bit ahead of you, who can just help you
see the things that you can't see from this side, but they
have already walked through it from the other side.
Um, and that will help me. That will help me
a lot. And then the other thing is,
I'm checking in on my friends at the time we're recording
this. Um, there's a ton of uncertainty
(25:49):
because there's a new federal administration
and they are reshaping the federal government.
And I work in three industries
that are going to be shaped likely. First,
I work in health insurance. I work for a Medicaid health
plan. And so government insurance programs
are likely to be reshaped pretty quickly.
(26:11):
My background. And so almost all of my colleagues, all the people
I went to graduate school with and worked with at other
places work in public health being
reshaped. And I'm a professor, so I work in education.
So between federal grant changes and changes to
the Department of Education, I'm
seeing that a lot of the people in my life are
(26:31):
experiencing, uh, one, uncertainty, but
also trying to figure out, well, what do I do? What will I
do? And so One of the things that I'm really
boiling down in the way that I'm posting
content online and talking with folks is,
okay, what do you have control over when it comes to your money?
Let's exert that control to your full
(26:52):
potential right now while things are uncertain.
Because one, having that control will help
you feel better as all this stuff happens around
you. And two, by exerting the control
you do have, it may mean you can weather the
storms that are coming a little bit
more smoothly or perhaps even longer because you
(27:12):
took stock of what money you
had, what money you didn't, what things could be
shifted, delayed, cut, um,
what things needed to be increased to make, make
it just run smoothly, what things could come
or go, what order to do things. And doing
that work at the very
beginning, when you have a big change or slightly before,
(27:35):
if you anticipate a change to your income is coming,
can just make you feel better.
>> Anthony (27:42):
I like that.
Is there anything that you want to leave the audience with before we
dive into the final four questions?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (27:50):
No. I'm so excited for these questions.
>> Anthony (27:54):
Awesome. Alrighty.
Question number one. What does wealth
mean to you?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (28:08):
Wealth means I have choices. It
means that if a problem arises,
if there's something I want to do, that I have
choices for solving that problem or
doing the thing that I want to do. Wealth is
choices.
>> Anthony (28:24):
Number two, what was your worst money
mistake?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (28:30):
So when I, you know,
it's about to be good. So this is so. So buckle up.
So when I was in graduate school the second time, when I was working on
my doctorate, I was in graduate school for eight years.
Eight years. Okay. And I had a small student
loan balance from my master's degree, something
really like 10 or
(28:51):
$12,000. And because I was
always registered for classes, my
loans were deferred. So for eight years my
loans were deferred and I should have just been making payments on
them because then my student loans would have been gone and
my payments on that 10 or $12,000 of debt
were like 150amonth. So why I
(29:11):
didn't continue making my student loan payments while I was in
graduate school, I still have no idea
why I didn't. And I'm still
mad at myself because those loans could have been gone.
Gone. Yeah.
>> Anthony (29:29):
That's a whole nother episode. Okay.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (29:30):
Yeah. But it's okay. I did, I did do
that. Eight years. And George Washington University
had let me leave with a degree, but I left
with zero new debt.
>> Anthony (29:41):
That's, uh, so.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (29:44):
So that's how I redeemed Myself a little bit is that I got that
doctorate with zero new debt, even though I
foolishly did not continue making the payments on
the little bit of debt I had for my master's degree.
Mad. Still mad. As you see, I'm still mad. You heard
that at the beginning.
>> Anthony (30:00):
Yes.
With you.
Uh, number three, is there a
book that inspired your journey or changed your
perspective?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (30:12):
Uh, well, we're going to talk about how to afford
everything.
>> Anthony (30:17):
You know, eyebrows. Eyebrows. Okay.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (30:19):
Right, Right. You know, the, um. The.
The journey to writing this book was
10 years in the making. You know, like, after
I read, like, 20 books, I was like, I could probably write a book.
After I read 40 books, I was like, I definitely can write a book.
Books. I was like, why haven't I write a book? And one day, my
husband. I had just finished yet another personal finance book, and we were
(30:41):
sitting on the couch, and he noticed I'd finished. I think I was listening to one.
He noticed I finished it. He's like, oh, how'd you like that? I was like, man, I could have
wrote this book. He was like, you know, you've been saying that for a few years.
Um, you're done with school. I think we have our childcare set
up really solid right now. What. What would it take for you to
write a book? And I was like, I think I need an editor because I have too
many ideas in my brain. I need
(31:02):
somebody to help me kind of untangle them, because it's
probably two or three books in my br. But you can't write one
book that's really two or three. You'll lose people. So I need somebody to help
me, like, untie what's book one
and what's book two and what's book three so that people can get
something from it. He was like, okay, go find an editor. So I find an
editor. I interviewed, I think eight.
And, you know, in the one or two that I like
(31:25):
the best, I said, you know, could I buy an hour of your time? And we
do a sample work session. I just want to make sure we'll be working well together,
because this project has been on my heart for a decade. And
so I need it to go well because I'm finally, like, committing to
doing it. And so the
editor I ended up going with, we
outlined all 10 chapters
(31:46):
in 37 minutes. And she was like, okay,
so we. We didn't use the whole hour.
What are you thinking? How do you want to use the last, uh, 20
minutes of our call? And I was like, actually, I think I'M good. Thank
you for the outline. She was like, so are you thinking you're gonna move forward? I was
like, I am. Please send me the contract and the agreement. And.
And I'll pay from the time I paid
(32:06):
my deposit for her fees to
the time I was holding. And this is the actual one, the first
one I took out of the box. This is my emotional support copy of how to
afford everything was
127 days. That's, uh,
quick, because between the
outline and having the path,
it poured out of me. And so
(32:29):
this. This is why. That's the book that changed everything.
>> Anthony (32:32):
Got you.
Um, I do have a question, because it's. One of the
listeners actually is looking to write a book, but she is
like, you have so many ideas. Is it best to get an
editor after you wrote your thoughts out, or is it best
to get one early on just to get the outline and then you can hire them
back when you're ready to write the rest of it?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (32:50):
Yeah, so there's a different. There's different types of editors. So you can look
for something called a developmental elevator. I'm
sorry, a, uh, developmental editor. And this is an editor
who specializes in helping you develop the story
and develop the path. And so this could
be someone who you might have a couple hours of sessions
with. So it might not be a huge expense because you're
(33:10):
just. Just talking through what you've been thinking. And they help. They ask
you, they guide you through how to put that in a
way that makes sense. So that might just be a couple hours of
sessions and may not be a huge expense. And
frankly, once you have that, you might be ready to just write.
And then you get the editor, a different type of editor,
someone who's going to check for grammar and for flow
(33:31):
later once the project is done. And so you can get
editors for different types of support. And if, you
know, you only need help with this. This component, you
can. You know, you can do that at a lower cost
than hiring an editor for the whole project when you're not fully
in the project yet.
>> Anthony (33:46):
That makes sense. Okay. Thank you for that.
I was asking for myself, really, but thanks.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (33:52):
Great. Hey, I think that's. That's the.
The privilege of having a podcast, right? You get people on your
show you want to talk to because you got problems you working through.
You want solutions? Heck, yeah. Take Advantage.
>> Anthony (34:03):
All right? Take.
This is the show. Take Advantage. I love it.
Uh, number four,
what is your favorite.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (34:14):
Dish to make m.
Okay, so my kids are in their picky
food stage, so I haven't been cooking,
um, the flavorful things that I usually like.
But a couple months ago, I had this
hankering for something Indian. And where we're living right now
are. The Indian restaurants are not that great. Great. They're just. They're just not.
(34:34):
And that's okay. It's okay. We're gonna move. We're
gonna move soon, and we'll be in a place where the Indian restaurant is better.
And so. And the okra at the grocery store just looks
so beautiful. Like, you ever go to the grocery store and some
vegetable just looks like, I don't know what I'm gonna do with it, but
I'm buying that vegetable and I'm gonna do something with. The okra was just
gorgeous. So I bought, like, two big
(34:54):
handfuls of okra. I cut it up, and I made
bendi masala, which is so simple.
It's just okra, onion,
tomato, and then all of the seasonings.
And the tomato makes this little soft
kind of sauce that comes in with
all the seasonings. And I put that on top of some rice,
and it. It hit so hard. Like, the okra
(35:17):
was perfect. It was seasoned so good. Like,
I'm gonna make it again. I just been waiting for the okra to look as good.
The last few times I went to the grocery store, the okra has not looked as
beautiful as it did that day. Day.
>> Anthony (35:28):
Okay, so what kind of rice we looking at? Like,
basmati.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (35:31):
So that day I had jasmine. Basmati would have
been better, but I had Jasmine is what I had. So I made
it work. I made it work.
>> Anthony (35:39):
Okay. All right, well, we gotta catch back up and let
you know. I need to see a picture because it sounds so good
and simple ingredients. You know, I'll text.
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (35:47):
I. I have the picture because I told everybody. I told. I have some.
I have some Indian friends who are always impressed when I tell
them I can cook a little bit of Indian food. And so I said. I said, look
at this bindi masala. And they were like, oh, that looks really good. I was like, see,
I told you. Okay, so I can send you the
picture.
>> Anthony (36:02):
Yeah, yeah, please send that thing.
Um, this is the last question of the show,
which is where could people find out more
about you?
>> Dr. Darla Bishop (36:12):
Oh, please come find
me@darlabishop.com
Social. And the reason I have, I have a
specific landing page, so that way you can just find all the things
you could ever find without having to look for me. So all the social. Socials are
there. Um, the links to the different freebies I
have. So darlabishop.com social
alrighty.
>> Anthony (36:33):
Well, thank you Darla, for so
much information about really taking
advantage of, uh, everything that you
have, whether it's you're coming from poverty or
coming from, you know, your silver spoon
background, you have to take advantage of
those opportunities and actually put your own spin on
it, put your own stink on it. Some with some say
(36:55):
this is your opportunity. You have what it takes, everybody.
And please make sure that if you made it this far,
just want to say thank you so much for sticking with us
this long. And you all
have a wonderful day. Yacht
peace.
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