299: [Paula Sima] Breaking the Silence: Conversations on Mental Health

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Paula Sima (00:02):
But raising me. Me and him were invited
to another podcast together as a father daughter duo
to talk about relationship and depression and
even the fact that my dad also came out to me. I was like,
I also deal with depression. And I go, so
it was like, uh. And these are conversations you need to know. Like,
our parents also have mental health struggles, but we

(00:22):
look at our parents like heroes. They can't do anything, but
we need to also be there for them in their mental
struggles, just as they need to be there for us. Have
those conversations with your people. You never know who's
true.

>> Anthony Weaver (00:39):
Welcome back, everybody, to another exciting show of the
about that Water podcast. I'm your host, Anthony
Weaver, where we help the sandwich generation
build strong financial habits. One of the people that I
have on is somebody that's so energetic,
has always a great smile, and
has actually welcomed me into the podcast community.

(00:59):
And I want to thank her so much, um, by
bringing her on, um, and actually share her energy with
you all. And her name is Paula Sema. How you doing today,
Paula?

Good. Thank you so much for having
me. You can't believe
it. When you asked me to. To.
To be on your podcast was like, the highlight
of my January. So technically, you're the first
person I'm guesting in on
2025, and I plan to be very picky on the

(01:31):
podcast. I got to this year because I'm taking back
seat on podcasting, so this is exciting
for me, fresh out
of recovery.

Yeah. Because we were supposed to record before, but, you know, you're under
the weather. Actually, it's coming from. Was,
uh, what? Podfast, I believe.
Oh, yeah.

Ah. Um, kids, uh,
grown ups, kids. Whoever is listening to this,
uh, sometimes listen to your body. You're not as. As
young as you used to think, so doing things you
used to do four years ago in a conference might not
work four years later.
That's what happens when you overdo it and you come back

(02:14):
home and you get sick. And very sick.
I have been in bed for
almost two weeks now.

Jeez. And do you ever figure out, like, what.
What it was?

Well, um, first
thing, which, uh, is funny, you will find funny
what happened when I was with you in podcast movement.
I don't know. This thing about me falling, um,
should be examined.

Yes.

So, of course, I did fall twice at
Potfest, and I was with the same
teams. Why I say these every
time I'm with them. Shout out to the
mopad boys. I love y' all. But,
um, so I fell down twice, but
I'm a Person who never feels pain in the moment. Like, you
remember when I fell at focus movement, the first thing I was like, can

(03:07):
I get a beer? Like, I was just like, let's get back
to the. To the mood. Like, no hospitals, no
nothing. I hate hospitals. I hate unless I really
feel it. And I normally don't feel it until
I stop the movement because I'm always on the
go. You come back home and you're
like. And then I'm seeing all

(03:27):
these bruises, and my toes were literally,
like, popped up. Because apparently I
pinch my. Like,
looking at my body. Like, I swear if somebody had seen me,
they would think maybe I was, uh,
abused. You know, something like, you know, and
people have marks in the m and they're being abused

(03:48):
and hiding. Like, my body was
filled with marks, which I was like, what the hell
is going on? And then, um,
also drinking beer from morning to
evening is not healthy if you're not drinking water
in between. So I said,
I will pay anybody who has a picture of me about first
without holding a beer. And again, I blame the

(04:10):
moped boys for constantly having beers for me.
So there was that. I was drinking beer
constantly, and I wasn't eating
as much, even though I had access to as much food.
I would literally go get a plate and bring it to my friends, like,
hey, look what we have. And they're like, where did you get this? I'm like, don't
worry where I got it. Eat right.

(04:31):
But I am not eating myself.
And I wasn't drinking enough water. So it was
hydration. It was the sinus infection again.
Freuda was kind of cold, and we
just had the snow. We normally don't.
Freuda was like, the weather was we.
As I think, jumping into around
that time with this weather conditions. I got a

(04:53):
sinus infection. Then I had indigestion.
It's just like. And, uh,
emotion. My body was really tired.
Again, if you have met me at a conference, you know
how I am at a conference. So the body
was really exhausted until right now. My body
is still trying to find back the energy,
but the fluid is gone. The cough is going. You can tell

(05:16):
because the last voice note I sent you, I was literally coughing
more than. So I'm healing, but my
energy is still getting slowly. But it
was all those things. That's why I say
you. Just because you look young or you feel young doesn't
mean you're as young as you were before. Ah. And
I looked at Joe and Mike, and I was like, bruh.

(05:37):
Because I met them at PodFest in
2022. And we've been doing this
since then. I'm like, bruh, we can't keep doing this.
Because even the next morning,
Joe was exhausted. By the way, it was
also like Joe's birthday and Chase's birthday.
So it like, and, and this is my last
podfest because next year won't be a podfest.

(05:59):
So I was trying to do everything, like, because
to, to increase for next year that I
won't be here, uh, which may overdo it. So,
uh, it was just, yeah, a lot. I was doing a
lot.
I, I would be the first person to say I was doing a
lot. But, um, in.
In the me being me, at least, um,

(06:21):
the people who were there enjoyed it. And
hey, uh, I got promoted from mayor to governor
of podfest. I guess I was doing something right
while drinking in.

Well, it was in a long time coming because if you think
about it, you're the first person I saw on
podfest, um, promotion videos.
And I was like, who was this person with all this energy and
there's like, from Tanzania. And I was like, okay, well,
maybe I'll see her in passing. Okay, so go to
fincon. And I was like, okay, I've seen her
face before, um, but didn't

(06:56):
say anything first.
Well, we met in person and Podcast movement. Yeah,
but I've seen you in passing at other events,
at another event, I believe. And um,
it was my first time actually meeting you in
podcast movement. Um, because it was like,
you know, you know, certain people, like, you just kind of see them like,

(07:17):
okay, well this is maybe a one time deal.
They're gonna go hang out with the people that they know. And
you know, it's very, it's like a family reunion when
you go to these events. And that's the reason why I like the in person
events, uh, more so than
like how we have these conversations, but we also support each other
virtually. But when it comes to in person, it's

(07:37):
almost like, hey, I've known you for 20
years almost, it feels like, and it's such a great thing to
have.
Um, and with that being said, because it's
like you, your
podcast is talking about, you know, with
your personal battle with depression
and having those moments and seeing you're

(07:59):
happy actually helps a
lot more than what you think. I'm not sure if anybody ever
told you that yet.

Which I like that. But, uh, a lot of people come
to me and be like, are you sure you depressed?
Because I am constantly.
We all, you know, um, in the beginning,
I Used to not think I was depressed as well because of the person
I am. I'm like, I'm constantly happy and

(08:28):
trying to make people happy and cheerful. How can I be
depressed? So I understand where they're coming from with
it. Right? But. But um, that's just
me and the energy. And I can be like
that in a room of people and still be dying inside.
Ah. And that's why I put that out.
Because I want that back to fill

(08:49):
that void inside of me. And that's uh, why when I go
to these events, whether I know somebody or not,
I give them the full me that
I give to the people of non 20
plus. I mean 5, 6 plus years
to a new person. People, uh, will tell you
I, I will hang out with people and people, uh, and people will come and be

(09:09):
like, huh. I just
matter. I'm like. Because that's who I am. Like, uh,
I don't like small talks. So when I meet
people, I just go straight to that. And I like making people
be very uncomfortable because I feel like when you
make people uncomfortable, they get comfortable very easily.
So I, I go straight with a

(09:29):
perverted or weird question,
straight on into that digging in and then either it
will be like, damn, did she really say that? Wait, did you
really? Oh, you'll be like, oh my God, she m my kind of person. Because she
goes straight in. And it helps you fit. Because
if you get offended on something I
literally ask or anything that shows me, you know, my
person and that makes me not waste my time with you

(09:52):
because I don't like people get offended easily
because I offend. And my friends used to tell me, paula, just
because you say no offense and then you continue to offend us
doesn't mean I'm, um, like I'm m to
offend you, but I'm also like the.

You got to get it off your chest, you know. And sometimes it's
just like, you know, you have that thought and be like, um, hm.
I. I want to say this, but I don't want to say this, but
I feel like I'mma hurt my. I'mma feel bad for not
saying this at this moment, you know.

And I learned that I rather say it and get it
out. And we be. We be. And
I am very sarcastic. So you
really have to. That's why sometimes, that's why I love this
in person events because online you can't really reach
somebody's sarcasm if you don't know them,
you know. And, um, I have this friend called

(10:45):
Junaid. I don't know if you know him. Junaid.
Junaid is the perfect person if you're trying to get into
home studio videos. Yeah. He helps
them build studios. He has a podcast called Hacks
and Obies over 500 episodes.
He has that go box where it's like a go studio. You
open the go box and it comes with everything they're about to.

(11:06):
They sell those. But, um, Junaid
has the most driest
sarcastic humor ever. If you
read his comments on Facebook, you would think
this person is writing from hate or anything
because you don't know him. But then when you sit with him
and you actually get to know him, and then when you read his,
you're like, oh, here we go. Like, you know, you get it because

(11:29):
you have been in his presence and you have actually
felt his energy and seemed like that's just how
he is. But sometimes online, when you read it and
everybody reads things in a different
perspective, right? In a different, um,
attitude. I might write it in a funny way, but somebody
coming from wherever, they might read it in a. Oh,

(11:49):
that was offensive. But I was just being
funny or sarcastic. So that's why this imperson
said, I like going there because people get to know me and
they're like, oh, that's just Paula. Like, these days when people hear
things or even when somebody goes and say that that
short girl just came and said like, oh, that's just
Paula. She didn't mean it that way. Trust me, if she
in a bad way, you would know. And I like that

(12:12):
because people get to sense who you really are,
that nothing gets taken, um, out of
context. And I am that person. Like, I am very
sarcastic and I say shit and I'm
very perverted. Like, four years going on podfest where
my badges always have perverted the end. So people
can be aware. Like, you know, I'm, um, the person

(12:33):
who. But I, I, I, I do,
um, what's
the thing called when people have sexual
harassment and they say, uh,
consent. I don't before I
sometimes get into people's personal spaces and,
um, you know, so. Because I don't want

(12:53):
to be Didi me, me too. Whatever all that
crap going on. But I am all those things.
Uh, and that's why I think I love podfest because
it's a place where as really
embraced and welcome me. Like, all of me.
My loud house. I don't know any
conference that allows me to drink from morning to

(13:14):
evening to and to still and they
still trust me to emcee and,
and host first timers and Second
timers, um, more part
to allow me to be
their ambassador and spokesman for
them with how they know, but because deep down they
know who I really am and I get

(13:37):
the job done regardless. Like, I am a person who
loves people, who loves connecting, who loves
networking. Like, I love bringing people together.
So it always comes in a good place. How
it ends up, that's all other different things. So. And
that's why I tell people, if you deal with drunk polar, go deal
with drunk polar. Don't bring drunk polar in to. So

(13:57):
cuz I don't know.

Okay, that is true. I can attest
it out. He was like, oh, uh, I don't know what
you're talking about. That was yesterday, cuz when you fell, you
was like, I totally, I totally forgot about like the next day. I was like, do
you. She was like, no, I don't know what to talk about.
But we got footage. So.

I came back for two weeks.
He was constantly texting me, yo, are you
good? Concussion, Are you good? I'm like,
bro. Ah. And
that's the thing. They. They love me so much that sometimes
I feel like smitten by them. But
it comes from a good place. But I'm, um,
not personal. Like, and that's why I don't even,

(14:39):
um, hold grudges or anything.
Like, once I let it out,
that's it. You can be mad at me, but I'm not mad.
Like, you're wasting your anger. I'm still moving,
baby. As long as that's why I like, take
putting it out there. And that's why sometimes when I have
to say for people with me, Facebook, you have seen.

(14:59):
I've had moments where I literally go off on.
And once I've already done that, like now, now
it's out there. I'm good. What's next?

Right, Exactly.
So, um, because mental health has been one of
your main things, why mental health
over any other topic that you love to talk about.

About. Well, because one, I'm a
depressed speech, and um,
two, I am Tanzanian, and in
Tanzania, we really don't
talk about mental health. And, um, not
only Tanzania, I was also around people who,
when I was
feeling certain way and I would say and I'd get

(15:41):
the same, which was, this will
pass. Oh, at least you have a roof over your
head. Oh, you're gonna be fine. Uh,
I get it. I am blessed and I'm happy that I have
this because there are people out there worse. But
my feelings still do matter. And I feel like
some people don't Speak up because

(16:01):
of that, because of people. Keep on
having this, or you should be grateful you have this,
or you should. You know, tomorrow is gonna be
a better day. Oh, blah, blah, blah. No,
right now, this is what I'm dealing with. I want to know. So I
wanted people out there to know they're not alone.
And also, again, it was

(16:22):
the misconstructions on mental. On
depression. Like, when I came out with depression, a lot
of people came to me saying they would never thought I
had depression because of how I handled myself or
I looked. And that's when I felt like it was important.
Because people assume that you
have to be in a dark room and sad

(16:42):
or dressed up in crunchy clothes to be
depressed. Like, there's no look on depressed. People can be
walking sanely and happy and
still depressed. I mean, look at Avicii. Ah, who
killed himself. It was rich, Emani, that,
um, Katie whoever. Like all these billionaire
rich people, actors, they have everything as well,

(17:04):
but they still ended up killing themselves because of their
battles with mental health. So you can have everything
and still be sad because it's a mental thing. It's
not what you have or what you don't have. It's
the feelings in your mind that you're battling with.
And that's where it was. And people needed to understand
that. Um,

(17:26):
I lost my thought, but there was something I was going to share.
Yeah. Um, there's this saying
where. And I used to be those people
who used to think surrounding yourself with people would
make you happy. Right? And then until you
realize you're in a room full of people, whether you love or
hate them, but room full of people, and you're

(17:47):
still lonely as m.
That shit is real. And that's why when people used to tell
me when I started being my own best friend and learning to. Because
I used to be a, uh, people pleaser. I wanted people constantly around
me, so I would do whatever it takes to. To have
people around me. And I was wasting my
energy, my time, my money, because

(18:07):
they really didn't want to be around me. I was just buying
their presence, you know? And I
realized it wasn't filling me. And I had to learn
how to be happy by myself. I had to learn how
to be doing things by myself, to be
okay. To be alone, which most
people fear. And my brother came to me and told me,

(18:28):
paula, uh, these days, you're so alone, make sure you're not lonely.
I'm like, you know, you can be alone and not lonely, and you can be with
People and lonely. And those are things people need
to understand. So
if that answers the question on why mental health,
that. That was why. Plus, I,
at the time when my podcast started, I was

(18:50):
battling my own mental. My
own very fucked up depression, which got.
I don't know if without, uh,
podcasting, I would have been able to get myself out of
it, because it was Covid going on.
And back in my country, um,
our president wasn't taking Covid serious. My dad
had health issues. And to top

(19:12):
off worrying about COVID and is older,
you know, so that was depressing
me. And then here, ah, there was Black Lives Matter, which
was crazy. Then there was Asian
Lives Matter. I lived in Asia for five years.
I have friends I consider family who are Asian.
So that was also. And then I was dealing

(19:32):
with my own breakup, which I kind of didn't want to deal
with. But when the world shut down, I
had nothing but time to deal with. I'm overthink. I
live in my head. So it was a lot of things
going on, and I was drinking way too much.
Now I'm a drinker and I enjoy drinking, but there's a
difference. When you're drinking to have fun and drinking to numb

(19:53):
the pain. When you're numbing the pain, you're just
constantly drinking with no stopping because you don't want to
stop. So that became
worse. So,
um, I finally dealt
with my breakup, and I went on Twitter,
and Twitter was Twitter. And I started talking shit.
And somebody was like, you should start a podcast. And I

(20:16):
sat down and I asked myself,
if I did start a podcast, what would I want it
to be? And I was like, what am I going through right now?
I need to have this conversation. So my
first episode was me opening up with all the
shit that I was dealing with. And trust me,
recording it was easy. But releasing it to the world,
that was a whole other thing. Uh, I was

(20:39):
fearing of judgment again. I'm, um, African. I come
from Tanzania. There's all these things of, oh, you're
putting too much of the business out there. People don't need to
know this. You know, all that.
Nobody talks about money, because God forbid you're
35 and broken, living paycheck to paycheck,
baby, it's a crime.

(20:59):
So all those things, and I was letting all of them
out, like, you know, opening a Pandora box and
just letting it fly. But then the most
surprising thing happened is people started reaching out
and telling me how they are dealing with the same,
how they're grateful I spoken up
because they they are going through it. And we
started having those conversations and, and

(21:21):
that's when I knew, you know, what I needed to create
this safe space for people to feel safe, to. To
have these conversations because we are
shown about their taboo. You can't talk about
financials, you can't talk about your mental health, you can't
talk about sex. You can't, uh. Who
said you can't?
How do we get better if we can't have these conversations?

(21:42):
How do we hear?

And it goes back to like, how is
society is able to move forward if you're afraid to even talk about
it? Because with the movement now is like
certain histories you don't talk about now. So like, how do you
deal with. Well, you're only going to tell one side of it.
Well, what about what was going on around that sub,
around that topic?

You know, if you're not
digging through. And that's why I tell people it's the same
as. And this is why people are scared about
therapy or working, working on
themselves because,
um, growth or,
uh, working on yourself, which is something I'm

(22:23):
still battling with and I've been doing.
It's a, it's a process because you have to dig.
And as soon as you think you're better, uh, you dig into
something which opens all these other wounds and you have to
go deeper into them and figure them out. And
people don't like knowing that, baby, sometimes you are
the problem. You know, people want to point

(22:43):
fingers. People want to say, it's because of
him I am broke. It's because of him. I didn't get
this. No, look into yourself.
Why are all these people doing that to you?
What is your problem? And I had to sit and
constantly look. And I realized there's one time I came
out and said, I realize I am,

(23:03):
um. I used to pride myself in thinking
I am a great, A good friend, like a great
friend. And I realized I'm not a great friend.
I'm a good person, but a great friend.
No, I was lying to myself. And people kept asking me
about. I'm like, yes, I was doing things, but I was
doing things hoping that my friends do them to me as well.

(23:24):
That's not being a good friend. You're supposed to just
do things. So there were certain things I was finding out. And
that's why maybe I was getting mad at certain friendships or
certain friendships ended. Because
even though there was no that, that condition in me,
I was putting those conditions without knowing. And.
And it takes digging deeper into why

(23:44):
the am I like this to realize certain
things. So, yeah, yeah.

So what helped you find yourself?
Like, were there books? Did you journal?
Did you go to therapy?

Um, so I, believe it or not, I
hate, I hate cell phone books.

Okay.

I hate self help books. I. And
I read, but I read a lot of crime,
um, and, um,
autobiography books. I learn a lot from
autobiographies because I like learning people's
journeys. And that's why, even when I
pivoted my podcast from mental health to creative
journeys and mental struggles, because I want to share

(24:31):
people's creative journeys. Because we always assume,
oh, somebody just got there, like, I want to be there.
But you don't know what they went through to get there.
So don't excuse your journey. Don't just think people
just went to sleep and woke up and here they were.
And you want to be there, but you're not doing the work
they did or more than they did to get

(24:52):
where you're going. And that's why I love autobiographies.
And I've always had this idea of my own autobiography in the
future. So it's kind of also like research. But, um,
so it's just, um, learning from people's, um,
journeys. I read a lot of autobiographies, but there's
also this book, um, I forgot, hold
on. Pope Francis. Um,

(25:13):
it's funny. Uh, I hate Catholic. My
parents are Catholic. Thank God I, I didn't grow up,
uh, Catholic. But
there's this very little book by
Pope, uh, Pope. Pope
Francis. Um, I'll
get the name of it.

(25:34):
I, um, don't know why I can't find it right now.
He has several books,
but there's this specific one and
I literally just found it the other day because I was,
I was getting interviewed and that was part of
the, the question. And I, and I had
it in there. But, um,

(25:55):
so that book really opened
my eyes in a different way because he
spoke in a very human
way than like
leading Christianity or Catholicism or
anything. So that, um,
helped. But also therapy. I'm, um, a firm
believer in therapy. It took me,

(26:18):
I went on and off to therapy.
And, um, I'm actually thinking
right now about going back to therapy. But again, therapy is
also exhausting because
finding the right fit, it's just like relationship, right?
You have to find the right person who gets with
you. But also, um, I journal

(26:39):
a lot. I do journal a lot. And I'm working on
a new book journal coming out.
But, um, and
one of the biggest thing was
accepting that something was wrong with me.
And I needed help. And I think once you

(27:01):
get there, even if you don't have access to
therapy or to books, you will
start digging into yourself. I'm, um, a person who
literally digs into myself. And
um, I don't know if it's healthy or not,
but that's why sometimes I don't
sleep. I will sit, I will lay at night and I'll
be like, why didn't this work out? And then

(27:23):
I'll go deep in, okay, I
did this, this, this, they did this, this, this.
What could have been done better? And
then once, uh, I figure that out, I pray, I
pray a lot. Um, I have
a very on and off relationship with God. Uh,
because growing up I was forced into

(27:45):
religion, Christianity. You know, you're woken
up every Sunday to go to church and you had to go to Sunday
school and you had to get communion and you had to
all that shit. And then I moved from home
and went to college and nobody's there to wake you up on
Sundays to force you to church. So I took a backseat.
Like God, who on Saturday we are turning up,

(28:05):
we are too late. I am waking up on Sunday to go to
church. And then when I started
battling my depression, I remember, um,
me and my mom are not close. I'm more close
to my dad. But something told me to call my
mom. And I called my mom
and I started crying telling her something is

(28:26):
wrong with me. And one thing my mom
said, she didn't dismiss it, uh, she
didn't try to understand it, which I'm grateful.
Or she told me was like, Paula, prayer.
Pray and pray and pray and God will give you the
answers. And funny
enough, I started

(28:47):
praying and my heart felt less heavier
the more I kept on praying, like something
is being lifted. So I have that Bible
app on my, on uh, my phone.
I read, uh, I look for plans
that help me with what I'm going through. And they have
mental health plans, they have
self esteem plans. They have, they have, have all the

(29:09):
plans you need and you can read them with a friend.
Like send links and share and you and your friends read
together and discuss so you can do it by yourself.
So that was one of the biggest tool I started with
that before even therapy.

Nice. Okay, so try to do it to
kind of really know yourself before you actually go in and not
waste your money for therapy.

What are you going to tell them if you haven't really look like
anchors? Whether you say or not
that one hour is, they're gonna still charge you.
So, uh, it's at least. And I
tell people, don't waste the money unless you're
really sure you wanna work on yourself.
And that's why certain people come and say, oh, therapy

(29:55):
doesn't work. No, baby, it's not that therapy doesn't
work. Did you actually do the work? Because it
requires you doing the work. It requires you
having those conversations, it requires you looking deep,
deep in and doing those exercises and following
through. And that's why I had to commit to myself
first to do it by myself. And,

(30:15):
and all those who say, oh, I have my
girlfriends, I don't need therapy, trust me, I know too. But your
girlfriends ain't gonna tell you unless your girlfriend is
Paula. Because I will tell you the truth. And some of my friends
hate me that much because I, I give it to them,
uh, as it is, with as
much love as I can. But also

(30:35):
your friends isn't the same. And that's why you,
you need to speak to a stranger because they don't have
loyalty to you. They don't care about
your past, they don't care about hurting your feelings, they
don't care about sugar coating.
You need somebody who's gonna give it to you as it
is. And that's why start with yourself looking

(30:55):
yourself in the mirror. And, and it's funny, I
haven't told anybody yet. You get to, to speak.
You get to see this first. I' project.

Okay. Uh, what's
that? It's because you got your background.
There you go.

Uh, so, um,
it's a new project called sh.
Come on. Shattered
Mirrors. I'm looking at myself and cracks of
mirrors breaking up. And
last um, year. October, November, I was having a very
hard time and I spoke to

(31:35):
Shout out to the High Hope Breakfast Club,
Walter Dominic and, and
Streamyard Chris recording Streamyard Chris.
And um, they were helping me figure out
what was going on with me. And um,
they said something which stuck with me. So,
um, I started working on a project where I

(31:56):
was literally picking everything
that I was dealing with. Like, okay, today I'm
feeling this. Then I would record a 20
minute episode. Why am I feeling that?
What is going on? And then I, and then I write
it in a book and then I turned it into a journal and then I
did an exercise. So that helped.

(32:17):
And that's why I said after going through this, I'm like, now I'm
ready to go back to therapy because I know exactly
where my pinpoints are and where the help
needs. So don't just jump into therapy
first. Look within yourself and
pray. I think when you pray, it does bring that
out of you. You start seeing what

(32:38):
needs to be fixed.

And I think the m. Because you pray,
it's like you're doing it in
threes. So you're already thinking about it
now that you're actually saying it it. And then you're actually
listening into it because you're actually bringing it to
light of what is actually
either a bothering you or you're thinking
about and how you actually going to navigate or the

(33:03):
logistics of this new feeling or this
remapping of your brain for something that
isn't, that wasn't there or used to be there, that isn't
there anymore. And I think that is really good,
um, way to kind of deal with that mental
health, ah, process.
Um, so I actually have a question of
about like, because we are working with the sandwich

(33:25):
generation and you
know, dealing with your parents, um,
having this discussion and letting them know
where you are as a person, as an adult,
as a young. Well, to them they are, uh, in their eyes, I'm sure
they still look at you as a little baby girl. But
like, like, how was that conversation with

(33:46):
them to kind of say, like, you know what, hey, this is
how I feel and I would appreciate you if you treat me this
way to set those barriers.

So, um, I am blessed with
incredible parents. Um,
my mom is still a typical African mom.
Um, but thank God we haven't
lived together in 10 plus,
not 20 plus years.
I haven't been in my mom's prison, so

(34:16):
she can tell me. I mean, even if she wanted to
whoop me, she couldn't, right?
But, um, so the first time when I, uh,
when I came out with depression, right, I started,
I wanted to start this thing called life with Paula.
And um, I remember when I had
the conversation with my mom about depression,

(34:38):
um, me and my mom really didn't dig
deep into it. As I said, she, she didn't try to
understand it. She didn't. She just told me to pray.
And we have never really sat down and had
a conversation again. My
mom chooses what she wants to, to be a
part of and, and you know, and me and I

(34:59):
are not close. So God forbid, if this was my
brother, it would have been a whole other thing. She would have probably
traveled to the moons to find cure for him.
But that's a whole other conversation. But as far as my
dad, um, which was a little bit more hard, um,
because I'm a government kid, right?
Government kid means my family is in the government.

(35:20):
So, um, you have to be
Kinda very,
um,
very aware with what you put out there because
they take everything and I. And attack you, especially
when it's time of political stuff back home.

(35:41):
But then again, I haven't been home a long time. And
that's why most people wondering why at one point my
Facebook name was different, my Instagram. It
was because I don't want my,
my, uh, shit to interfere with m. The
political stuff. Because one thing is
for sure, my family knew from a young

(36:01):
age that they can never. Since Apollo,
I was that rebellious kid with a loud mouth.
I am gonna say what I'm gonna say. I grew up a
tomboy. So I was not the normal typical guy you put in
the kitchen and train her to be a wife
or whatever. I was none of that. I was
loud. I, I

(36:21):
like they knew they, they just had to let me
be. But I also
am aware that the things I do put
out might affect my family
since they are in the government. So I tried
to be sensitive towards that. So when,
when I wanted to start life with Paula, when I

(36:42):
first realized about my depression, I did have to have
a conversation with my dad because our life
with Paula was starting on Instagram.
And then we ended up creating a support group
on WhatsApp. So I did have a conversation with my dad and
I was like, dad, listen, I'm, um, dealing with depression
and I feel like the only way for me to heal is to

(37:04):
start having these conversations, which means
that I will be putting my business out there,
which means that it might be used
on you guys. And I don't want
that, but I also want to do what's
best for me. And my dad was
do what you gotta do. So I'm grateful for

(37:25):
that. He was really very supportive. And the first live
I did, he was even on the comments
telling me, language, please.
Mind you, I learned to be
this language from my father.
And then now, you know, he gets older, he starts cleaning his
act and he's like, oh, you gotta clean your. I'm like, well, you

(37:46):
are 20 years ahead of me, so give me time.
But, um,
it turned out to be very good because then
when I did that first live and
people started pouring in, the WhatsApp group
had like 30 people.
And some of them were my friends. One of

(38:07):
them was my cousin who was my close friend who I
found out almost tried to kill herself. But
again, because these are things we don't talk about,
the family was hiding it. And hiding it
doesn't help because you're not getting her help. You're making her
Feel ashamed about something that she
didn't have control over instead of actually

(38:28):
allowing her to speak on it so she can get
better, help and be around people
who know how to be with her.
So in that group, all these things were coming out
and seeing some of my friends dealing with
things, and I, I missed it. Like,
I, I didn't know that was

(38:50):
one of the painfulest things. And
I went and I told my dad and my dad was like,
well, then keep doing it. You can't stop now.
And that support group was
like, when I look at all of those people right now, where they
are and what they're doing. And one time some of them came to me and they're like,
paula, because you started this, you gave us the stre

(39:12):
to go on. And it wasn't that
we did anything for each other. It was just that we had a
safe space for people to, to talk
without being told, oh, uh, it's gonna be
okay. Oh, at least you have this. Like, people really
just listened and checked in. And sometimes people,
all people want is just to be listen. I don't

(39:33):
want an advice. I don't want. I, uh, just want you to hear
me.

Just hear you. Yeah.

Yeah. So, um, I'm grateful that
I, I, My dad
gave me, um, a go ahead and was like, do what you gotta do.
And I'm grateful that my mom really doesn't give a,
like that to, to, to tell me no. But
trust me, if she does hear things, she doesn't,
she's not on my socials, unlike my dad. My dad

(39:58):
follows me everywhere sometimes. It's so annoying.
But my mom is not on socials and I doubt she
listens to my podcast, so. But I feel like if she
did hear some of the things, she would
be like a proper African man. But
my dad is cool. He has even been on my podcast to
share about raising me.

(40:19):
Me and him were invited to another podcast together as a
father, daughter, uh, duo to talk about relationship and
depression. And even the fact that my dad also came
out to me. I was like, I also deal with depression.
And I go, so it was like. And these are
conversations you need to know. Like, our
parents also have mental health struggles, but we look at

(40:39):
our parents like healers. They can't do anything, but
we need to also be there for them in their mental
struggles, just as they need to be there for us. So have
those conversations with your people. You never
know who's struggling.

That is true. Um, because like,
a lot of things, like, I don't really share, obviously, On a
show because I'm like, I don't need that kind of scrutiny
or like just people just kind of keep asking me questions about things
and I'm like, let me just be me for a moment.
I'm gonna be my hermit. I'll throw out an episode
that I pre recorded from a live show, throw it up on

(41:13):
RSS feed. I got things to do.
Um, but so having those moments,
I understand. Because, you know, podcasting is a
lot and you produce yours weekly.
Um, I do mine weekly, but I do several episodes a week
and it's.

It'S a wait when you see.
When you say several, several episodes a
week, what do you mean?

Oh, um, so I do a pre recorded show like this
one and then obviously I do the chop up with
edits and everything like that. So I throw those out for the
socials. Then I have an AI episode
that comes out after that does like. So
it's like an AI summary episode like 20 minutes or so that
comes out uh, before I release the next
episode on the next Tuesday. But then I do also

(41:58):
a live show every Thursday at 8pm Eastern.
So because of that live show.
Yeah, that's what a lot of people say. They was like,
you really don't have kids, do you? I was like, no.
But I, because of the feedback
and people who actually listen to the
show that find value. You and either

(42:21):
the topics that I'm talking about, how can I help them?
This is a reason why I do it. Um, in my live
shows is where I'm actually testing out features,
testing out things and streamlining my processes and
seeing.

How I like those live
shows. I try to catch them as much as I can.

I, um, appreciate it, you know, because it's one of the
things that just like, you know, it's Thursday
night, Friday Eve, whatever you want to call it,
you know, let's end the week out strong, have a good
Friday, um, and just kind of get people in
positive mood before the, the weekend starts. And that's really
my goal.

Yeah, you should start bringing back the, the round
tables again. I enjoy the round
tables when you had different people
on the uh, on ah, a conversation. You know,
I feel like,
uh, because I'm thinking about putting talk show with Pete to bed
and trust me, I've gotten a lot of hate from

(43:19):
that and PodFest everybody. Because
one thing, um, PodFest was
my last picking gig. I don't want to speak again.
Not this year.
And then, uh, I was talking about putting Talk show
with P2B and not coming to Podfest next

(43:39):
year. And people are like, paula, we are tired of this. What is going
on with this Last. Last final. Final. Like
this. We're not doing this.
But I feel like if
I ever bring it back or something,
uh, it will be like round tables. I like having
different perspective in one table and

(44:00):
different objections and learning from people at the same
time. But it also, it.
What sucks about it is people
don't get as much time because if you have.
You're trying to put it under and now or something, but you also want
everybody to have a pointer. Uh, it should be like
either one question or two question. But. But however much you

(44:22):
prepare, people don't understand about conversations.
I. I normally have questions. Right.
Just so that I can remember in case we.
We sidetracked. Because you get sidetracked. And I
have those must ask questions and those questions just
in case there's still time. And
then sometimes you just go

(44:42):
into different segments and you're like, you know what? This is
much more better than the questions I had. And
then the next thing you know, time is gone and you really
haven't hit in other spots. So imagine when you have
the round table and everybody's kind of like,
that's the only bad part I hate about roundtables, but
I really love them.

Yeah. And I guess you could say, because it's
a difference between being a guest and being a host.
Because hosting them, um, I'm like, yo, I got like eight
questions and I, um, maybe get through five.
That's it. Because, uh, everything goes off the rails. And this.
Which is good. But also it depends on how big the round table
is. And sometimes an hour is not long

(45:22):
enough. Yeah.
So if you're gonna bring one, let me.

One guest. And the conversation is so good. One hour can feel
like 30 minutes. And then you have that. Guess where
you have to pull everything where 30 minutes feel like
an hour.
I'm kind of putting my podcast, uh, uh, like
I am gonna finish season nine. I'm not gonna promote it
as much. I'm gonna dump all the lives

(45:53):
episodes. I've already picked out yesterday.
The lives that I did. I want to bring them to ISS feed.
I want to end Talk show with you with 10 season.
The plan was to record, uh, the.
The season 10 a podfest, but boy, did I not
even have time to record. I always tell myself I record
live when I'm, um, conferences. But I'm always doing

(46:13):
too much. Ah. I do way too
much m. That I do not have a time
to do anything. So I Wasn't able to. To do that.
But, uh, maybe I might do the season 10
in. In round tables, but like,
instead of four or five people, like two, three.
That way it goes. But also, I've realized I enjoy

(46:35):
being a guest more than being a host.

Yes, it's a lot. I, uh, trust me, I
understand. I, uh, I get it.

Because unless I have a
team, if I just show up and be a host and record
and then the team does everything, I can be a
host, but the host also does everything
that
I get how exhausting podcasting
is. People think only it's so much fun, all

(47:05):
these things. But the back end, the editing, the
marketing, the promoting, the. The
getting it out there on time,
um, the design, the consistency,
like, it is a lot. And, and that's just a person
who's just doing one show a week. You.
You have all this other as well.

(47:26):
Like.

I mean, I. What else I do. I mean,
yeah, so I do help people on the side, um, who are
beginner podcasters. Um, I help people with
their finances. Uh, so, yeah, I
build out the cycles and schedule everything. I mean, that's the only thing.
If I didn't have a scheduler, a lot of this stuff wouldn't happen.
Um, because I tried before.

How do you use, like, what
m. I use calendly.

Yeah, they don't have a referral code,
so I'm like, hey, whatever, just get it. Um,
and I highly recommend them.

Emailing them. You never know. You know, sometimes I tell people
all it takes is a, uh, conversation. Just because
you. You don't see doesn't mean they don't have it. Or if
you might be the one who makes them bring it. Cause a
conversation. I always tell people, shoot your
shirt. Like knocking there. Just send an email. Hey, I'm
using this a lot. By any chance do you guys have. You never

(48:24):
know. Even if they say no, you're already on a nose, so
what's there to lose?

Yeah, that is true.
Um, because I didn't realize, like, you know, have you ever
got people that say, like, yeah, I'm so afraid to ask you. I've been afraid to
ask you to be on your show or something like that because,
like, how as much as that you
do. And it was like, oh, I didn't even know. Or
have you ever had it happen?

Oh, no. I get too many people wanting to come talk with me.
I think my, uh, the thing with me
is because my podcast is called Talk
with Peace. So, uh, everybody, when they hear the name,
the first thing is I want to talk shit.
Okay. But it's not really a, ah, kind of like just come in
and talk kind of po. Uh, so I get

(49:09):
that. And, and that's one thing
I used to fear when I started podcasting. I was like, where will
I get the guest from? And now I have too many
guests, too many people. They're like,
ah, people constantly want to be on my show.
Because the structure of my show used to be,
um, I would take a break like, like December, uh,

(49:29):
to January I'll be on a break, right? Because
Christmas I put up the last episode,
um, December, closer to Christmas. And then I'll take that, the
remainder like that time off in January because I
always know there's spot first. I'm never
coming back in January. So that episode started in February,
but I start recording in January.

(49:49):
So what, what I normally do in my break,
I always take two months break. The one month
is for me to just really relax and worry about
podcasting and just do other things that I need
to get together for my podcast. And then the second
month I do, I uh, I do my
recordings because in that one month of relaxing, I
researched what theme I want for this season,

(50:12):
what type of guest I want. I've already reached out to the
guests and they have scheduled and all that.
So then second month, because I, I, I record.
I know every season I have 15 guests
I record. So when I come back, the episodes are already
ready. I do not have no recordings. All
I have to do is every Wednesday make sure. Uh, but also

(50:33):
I hate editing. So sometimes I know
episode is supposed to come out on Wednesday morning. I'm
um, editing like on Thursday late night,
sitting up at 2 3am to make sure,
sit at my 5am because I suck. So
kudos to people who record and edit right after
recording. I want to be like you guys when I grow up.
But I me, as soon as I finish recording, I'm like, peace

(50:56):
out until next time. Like, I forget about it.
So, um, so when the seasons, when the
episodes are going and then people are coming to me, I want to be on your
podcast. I'm like, you gotta wait until the next season. But then
the next season, if I have a theme that you don't
fit in, I'm not gonna have you. So
I, I had a problem of too many people wanting

(51:17):
to come talk. And even now, like when
I've said it's ending, a lot of people like,
oh, no, I haven't talked with you yet. You can't end
it. You can't end It. I'm like, well, on
season 10, guys, I'm sorry. And I do have a lot of
people who I want to bring home, but I'm like, I also don't want to kind
of prolong. I want to end Talk shit with pin season

(51:37):
10.
And then maybe I have a plan
to rebrand it. Like how decision
decisions did from horrible decision to decision
decision. But I'm gonna
rebrand it very different. But that's uh, a whole other
maybe in 27. We're in
2025 next year. 2027,

(51:58):
like, because next year I do not want to do
podcasting at all for a while.

M. Yeah, I mean, it's one of the things
about podcasting is like
this. It's almost like I, I want
to stop, but I don't want to stop. Mostly because
it's like I enjoy meeting new people and
some people haven't had a chance to really sit down. And
this is really the longest setup we ever got
to sit down because when we in, in real life

(52:26):
events, there's so many people
asking for either your attention or ask for my attention.
And then we get turned away and it was like, like, all right, cool, I'll see you
tomorrow. Like, that's how bad it is in these
events. So, um, having those moments,
I think it's, it's really good. And I appreciate you coming
through today, uh, to kind of share that, um,

(52:46):
because we have a lot of things to.
That we've went over.
Um, but one of the things I do, there's still two
more segments of the show. So this third segment is talking
about your features. So like,
what skills or habits that you feel is going to take you to the next
level?

Well, believe, um, it or not,
my loud ass talking mouth.
Because one, um, thing,
uh, a lot of people keep telling me how
funny I am, right? And I was like, you know, there's a difference
between being funny with your friends
because you're just talking and they just find it
funny and than going on the stage and,

(53:27):
ah, making people actually laugh. But for
some reason, even though I tell them don't show up
to mine, they always show up to my talk and literally
they will enter. So even
this, when I was doing my last talk at
Podfest, right, um,
the mike literally texted me
9:20, right? And it was richly 9:15 at

(53:50):
that time. And I was getting ready to get on the stage, I was like,
yes, but no, like Iraq.
And as I was getting on the stage, I
see them walking with their humble,
their breakfast because it was 9 o' clock in the
morning and sit at the back. And I'm like, oh, God, why are
you here? And then Joe was like, you

(54:11):
know we don't go to talks, right? But for you, we have to come. I'm like, why are
you wasting your five precious minutes? You know, you
don't need to. They're like, no, Paula, I don't know why you're scared
to speak, but you. You were actually good. I was like,
like, cool. So then the. The comedy was on
Saturday and like, we're coming to the comedy. I was like, please don't
come. Please don't come. They're like, paula, this is your

(54:31):
first time doing a comedy show. We are coming.
Enjoy looking at me like, paula,
I'mma laugh so loud because you're my girl
whether you're funny or not. But if you're funny, as soon
as you get off the stage, I'mma tell you, don't quit your
job. Okay? Don't. Don't ever do
this and don't ever put us to this again.

(54:51):
I'm like, cool, just as long as you laugh while
I'm on stage. So I. I
was nervous as. Because where, uh, I
did not practice at all. I wrote it up,
but I did not practice. And I started
practicing an hour before. And I was. Me and
this girl, we were practicing together. And as I
was timing myself because you have three minutes, I

(55:14):
kept on ending at one minute because I was talking too
fast. Like, I still had one minute. And I was like, like,
damn, how is this gonna
work? So I started getting like, man, it.
I'm a cancer. I'm not gonna show up by m. My head. Um, I'm like, Joe and
Mike are gonna kill me.
And everybody was coming there. Oh, Paula is

(55:34):
doing comedy. We are coming to see Paula. So
people literally come. I'm like, I can't do
this. And last year, because I was supposed to
do it last year, but, um, I was
late to pick a number because I was getting
awarded and Mike hated me because we stayed
through the end of it because Mike thought I was still doing
it and was like, I was here for. I was waiting for you to go

(55:56):
on stage. I'm like, oh, my bad. So I was like, I'm not going to do that
again to them. So I got on the
stage and
I ended up pivoting because the person who got
off the stage was Kim and was talking about
Gangnam Styles. So I was like, oh, this is a nice
entryway with me being Tanzania.

(56:17):
I'm like, yeah, people Ask me, are you from Africa? No. Africa
is a continent, not a country, people. And I do not know
that friend of yours from West Africa, because I'm from East
Africa. We don't all know each other just because we're
African. So I started with that. So in my head, um, I'm
thinking, oh, now that. Because you remember. Because I couldn't
do it, for one, I was still left to. I mean, I'm like, since I

(56:37):
added this, which wasn't part of it, I will. But,
boy, wasn't I able to finish my set, because the three minutes
you like, they rolled up first, but I was still able to.
I watched and I closed it out, but I missed
a few things. But when I got out, um, because we
had comedians also who came. Because the night before there
was an actual comedy show. So the

(56:58):
comedians were there. Jacob was there, who even used
me as part of his closing line. I was
like, okay, so, um,
everybody was like, yo, Paula, that was
amazing. You were
funny. Like, we really, like, enjoyed even just
like, yeah,

(57:18):
let's get you into comedy now. So,
okay, um. Shout out to Steve.
Shout out to Jeff Drosky was helping me.
Even Steve was like, paula, now I can take you as a client.
I'm like, now I can even pay you.
I wanted to make sure first I know if I'm, um, I
can actually do this before starting paying people. People too.

(57:38):
But now, even if y' all are telling me I am good,
even Jacob was like, you just gotta learn
how to speak slower because you have an accent
and people need, in order to understand, you kind
of need to slow down. You speak very fast. I was
like, ah, I get that. Maybe that's why the three.
The three minutes when I was timing myself was going
fast. So I guess my future is

(58:01):
in comedy. And that's why I'm kind of really
ready to. To. To. To let go of podcasting.
Even though, as you say, you know, podcasting was.
I, I, I love the people you meet and the
conversations you have. You don't have these normal
conversations you have on podcast, on, On.
In real life, on street. Like, sometimes you get

(58:22):
lucky.
Yes. But when you're
interviewing somebody or getting interviewed,
you have a different type of connection
conversation that just goes deeper than
you. You expect. And I feel like comedy is kind of
the same way because you get to connect with people
even though you're talking. And literally, I was talking about dating

(58:42):
apps and, like, I was talking about, you know,
but you still connect to people because there
is somebody out there who really Feels what you're
going through, and. And it just connects. So
anything that brings connection. I'm, um. I'm a sucker for
connection. And I feel like that's the
void I have. And that's why these days, the people

(59:02):
who are in my life have to mean something. Like, I don't care if
we've known each other for long if there's not that
connection, if we are not healing each
other's soul. You gotta go, baby. I'm
sorry. So, um, anything.
My future is consisted of comedy and,
um, just connecting with
people. As I said, I'm planning on leaving America this

(59:24):
year, and, um, uh, I
feel like my life is just about to
start. Like, the future is unknown, and I kind
of like it like that, but I know comedy is part of my future.

Nice. Well, I appreciate you
taking time out, you know, to come through the show, to really
share that, because sometimes we don't
know what we don't know until we try. And that's why
I always laugh when they say, oh, this person is the best in
the world. I was like, did everybody get a ticket chance?
Did everybody try? Like, no.

By what circumstances?
Questioning the norms when they say, oh, you can't do
this. Who said I can't do this? Why can't I do this?
Like, we need to question more, and if we
stop worrying about what people say or anything,
do the damn thing. And I feel like, um,
a lot of people, even the. This goes out to any

(01:00:17):
podcast out there was being frustrated or things like.
Podcasting is supposed to be the.
The get rich scam. You can get rich
in, uh, with podcasting in different ways, which
is connections, opportunities,
the doors that it opens you into.
Like, the relationship I have with the Mopad boys,

(01:00:37):
it. It wouldn't have happened without,
uh, podcasting. Like, those
boys have become part of my family in ways that
I can't even explain,
like, legit when I'm sick.
Like right now. They've constantly been bothering me,
all three of them, in different levels. One is

(01:00:58):
messaging on Instagram, one on Facebook, one on.
On group chat. It's like, okay, I get it.
Y' all love me, but leave me alone. But
it's the people come into your life and the opportunities
that bring. So podcasting itself might not bring
you money, but it might also open doors. Like,
people figure out the. They. They prefer being speakers, and

(01:01:18):
some get paid to speak. And it all started because of
podcasting. People like me, I'm getting into
comedy. I wouldn't, uh, have if it wasn't for
Podcasting. So there's all these ways
than just one of being successful with your
podcast. Can I say my podcast is successful.
It not because it has brought me money, not because

(01:01:38):
of the downloads I have, but all the
opportunities. Yeah, I won an award at
Potfest. I became a governor at
portfolio to the extent where Chris literally tells me,
paula, do whatever the you want as long as we don't get in trouble.
Like this is the guy who runs the.

>> Anthony Weaver (01:01:55):
That's awesome.

>> Paula Sima (01:01:57):
You know, to trust me like that,
uh, Mopad boy.
At one point, the amount of credit they gave
me for Mopada was
myself, like, like, are you kidding me?
Like this. So there's
yesterday. The other day I got a message from somebody who

(01:02:18):
I've known, a professor. And they're like, I'm extending my team. Would you,
uh, are you interested for a talk? And I'm like,
sure, let's talk. I got a job
from a person who I met, a
portfolio. So there's all
these other, all these
amazing things that, that my podcast has brought to
me more than money could ever do. So.

Yeah, that's amazing.

>> Paula Sima (01:02:43):
Question. When you, you know that question of, uh,
when you think about wealth, ask me that question.

Okay, well, that's actually the first question.
So. Ready? So you have
anything before we dive into the final four?

>> Paula Sima (01:02:56):
Yeah, I, I felt like I was going in that direction.

It's okay.

>> Paula Sima (01:03:01):
I'm taking over the job.

I know, right? Take over my whole show. Like, you don't even
need to be. Just run the whole show, Paula. Just. You got
this. Okay. Apparently. Uh, so
anyway, you have anything before we dive into the final
four questions of the show?

>> Paula Sima (01:03:19):
Um. Damn, that was
loud. Excuse me.
Um, go subscribe to talk show
with me. Because I'm the best. Because
I said I'm the best.
Hey, no, I want to say, um,
um, you know, earlier you talked about how

(01:03:41):
you kind of met me, so I wanna, I wanna give you your
pros as well. Um, uh, I've seen you
do your thing, you know, um,
I've watched you at
a podcast movement. I've watched you at,
um, Afros. I've watched you at, um,
think on them. We were everywhere last year.

Last year was a lot. It was a lot.

>> Paula Sima (01:04:05):
I don't even know how we did that.
Um, what I can say is
don't let nobody dim your
light because in this industry, um,
the so called gurus have a way of
making people seem less
because of their so called

(01:04:27):
glowness. But, um,
you, me, by watching you, I
admire your work ethic. How you move, how you
run your podcast, and how you stand up
for your. So keep doing your. I am, um,
proud of you. And, um, I
mean, I wouldn't be jumping into your

(01:04:48):
lives every now and then if I really didn't. Like, I'm
sorry, I don't, I don't listen even to podcasts. Let me tell
you something. Like, I don't. I, I, I,
I'm a, I am a podcaster who
hates listening to podcasts. Like,
and that's why once a month, I'll do a post on, on.
On Facebook and be like, drop your favorite

(01:05:08):
episode, let me go listen to it, and leave you a review.
Because otherwise, baby,
unless. Unless it is,
um,
the blessed word, shout out to Dominic and
Kendra, who do amazing job with that. Ah, that
became appeal because it was kind of like a
therapy podcast for me. And lately

(01:05:30):
also Jenna's, uh, episode,
uh, podcast, Big Lush Energy. I just love how
she talks and shares.
Ah, unraw truth. I still
miss certain episodes, but, um,
apart from really those, I, I don't be
even. No offense. Mopad will tell you I don't listen to
their Friday night karaoke, but when they are live on

(01:05:53):
Facebook, I will jump and watch and support and
I will share. And then my bo And I love
them. Sometimes they'll even be like, well, have you listened to this
episode? I'm like, no. Why go listen to it? I'm like, why
go listen? They'll have my glasses with my. I'm
m. Like, oh, my God, thank you so much. I
should have listened to you before y' all tell me.

(01:06:14):
But, um, I suck at that. But I find
ways to still support in the ways I know,
and that's why I tell people. Even, Even if you
don't listen to podcasts, there's different ways you can support your, Your,
your podcasters. You can share it. Just because you
don't listen to it doesn't mean the people in your circle
won't listen to it. You can like it.

(01:06:35):
You can go review it, at least. I try to listen at
least one episode of somebody and go live a review. That's all it
takes. Like, you know, so it's not always
about money or constantly listening. It's all
these other ways. So I just want to tell you, keep doing
your thing. I'm proud of you. And, you know, you.
You're the. Damn, you're the best.

Appreciate you, papa. I, um, mean,
you've. Yes, you have really
lit a fire up under me on, like, you know, just kind of be
excited about what you do
versus, like, yes, I get to do this, but
you actually help me understand
on why I do this and to

(01:07:19):
actually get excited about it again. Um, because,
you know, this does drain on you a bit. You know,
sometimes you're like, man, if you start looking at the analytics, it will kill
your joy. Um, but I'm
excited about every episode that I put out. So it's like, this
is it.

>> Paula Sima (01:07:34):
Um, comparison is a thief. Like, when
you comp. Sometimes I, I used to do it and I
stopped. I'd look like, oh, you've only been
podcasting for a year and you have 10k. And I've been podcasting
for four years and I'm only on this. So when you
think about that, it does, does kill you
and might make you

(01:07:55):
question, um, yourself. But then one thing I
learned also is to be like,
even if you have 50
downloads on an episode, that's 50,
people are listening. Even if you have one, that's one person
who took time out to listen.
And, um, and that's why it's always good to
remember your why. Like, when you know why

(01:08:18):
you're doing it. The numbers shouldn't matter. None of
that should matter. Keep following your why
and eventually it will come. I am a firm
believer in as long as you keep
making yourself great, like you can compare
to others. If you just want to be great like people
who you admire and you're like, I want to be as good

(01:08:38):
as them and just to learn
to get yourself better, that's fine. But if you're comparing
why they're doing it and this, no, because
you end up losing yourself because you're constantly be
copying them instead of learning from them.
There's a difference between copying somebody and
then failing or learning from them. Just,
uh, uh, uh. Because just because that worked for them

(01:09:00):
doesn't mean it's going to work for your podcast. But you can
learn to implement how it can work for your
podcast and that's where we need to be. And I always
remember my why. So most of the
time when I really want to give up. And I've had so many times where
I've wanted to give up on, um, podcasting and everything.
And then I'll drive get that one review

(01:09:20):
or one inbox. Thank you for, for this. You
really helped me this thank you for. And I remember this
is the reason I'm doing it. But also my
podcast has been also therapeutic for me. The
conversations I've had have helped me heal,
have helped me learn to be a better me or
realize My growth.
Because sometimes I'll be listening to somebody. I'm like, damn,

(01:09:43):
I would have hanged up on you right now. But because
I'm a better me right now, I'm a listen, and
I just agree to disagree. Because it's okay to
agree to disagree. You don't all have to be on the same page
because just because it worked for them and you don't believe it
doesn't mean it doesn't work.

Yeah.

>> Paula Sima (01:10:00):
So I think sometimes we get into that
mindset, and it's all about changing your mindset, which I'm,
um, constantly learning. It's not an easy
thing, because
once you're like that, trust me, sometimes I really want to go off.
And I'm like, paula, uh, if you go off,
you're going five times behind of the growth
of you've been

(01:10:23):
doing. Is it better? And sometimes when I
go off, that means I'm disrupting my peace. I'm
very much these days into being at peace
and creating a peaceful space for me. So I
just be blind to that. And. And that's okay.

Yeah.
All right, so ready for the final four?

>> Paula Sima (01:10:42):
Yeah, baby.

All righty. All righty. Number one,
what does wealth mean to you?

>> Paula Sima (01:10:57):
Ah. So to me, wealth means peace.
Believe it or not, um,
I. I don't want to be rich, but I do
want to be, uh, financial.
What's the word? Financial.

Independent.

>> Paula Sima (01:11:14):
Yeah. I want to be able to
live a simple life. I'm not a
person who likes designer or anything, but I love traveling
and experiencing new things and enjoying the world
and eating good food and drinking good
alcohol and being in good restaurants. That's my thing.
Like, uh, you give me 10,000 to go buy,

(01:11:34):
uh, a Louis Vuitton bag, I'm, um, gonna go
spend it in different restaurants and eat good food.
Like my. My m. Uber bills. My uber bill
knows every time I get a paycheck, I have to order
myself a good ass meal from that Uber, and then the
rest goes everywhere else. So, um,
for me, wealth is peace. I feel like when you have peace,

(01:11:56):
you have wealth because people
assume that you can be re.
Wealth is being so rich. But then if you don't
have peace, what's the point?

I like that.
All right, number two, what was your worst money
mistake?

>> Paula Sima (01:12:13):
Oh, baby, how many times? There's
no one. We write a whole book
of follows money.
But I feel like the biggest one should be, um,
when I first came to America and I didn't know, uh, about
credit score and all these credit cards decided
to give me credit Cards. And, uh,

(01:12:34):
I had like four or five with different. And
in the beginning, I was doing good. You know, I was new, I was
decorating, I was traveling. And then eventually
I got lazy into paying back that, you know,
and then they just piled up. And then now you
learn all your credit score goes down or now you can't get anything
on credit. And so I think that was.

(01:12:55):
And ever since then, I have not had a credit
card. And I've lived in this. This space where
if I can't afford it by cash with my
debit, I can't afford it. We will
work hard and find it. Like, I literally
got a credit card last
week. I don't know why they sent it to me.

Did you apply for it? I mean.

>> Paula Sima (01:13:21):
I don't know. Fidelity. Fidelity,
please answer me. Why
investment? Why did y' all send. And especially
since I, uh, I cashed out my
401k and then they sent me a credit card. So I don't know
what was going on. Which I
also not sure if I did the right thing cashing out my
401k. But I also don't really give a.

(01:13:43):
Right now with my financial situation. Everything
is just like. But, um, that was
probably the biggest mistake. And I thought.
And which started pissing me off with
my friends because they would make plans on
expensive places or anything, like, you know,
and I would say, I'm not going. They'll be like, why put it in your credit

(01:14:05):
card? I'm like, that's the point. I don't have a credit card. And I. Even
if I did, I'm not putting on something on my credit card for your
amusement. So. No. And. And
I've stood by that. Even with this credit card,
I'm very strategic with, um,
has come in time where, as I said, I'm getting ready to
leave and stuff up with, uh, moving

(01:14:25):
or whatever. But I. Yeah,
credit cards.

Okay, number three,
is there a book that inspired your journey or
changed your perspective?

>> Paula Sima (01:14:39):
Oh, my God, yes. And I can't find that book.
Pope Francis, what's the name of that book?
Maybe I should go find the email that I
responded to. Okay, let's go to the
last one and then I'll come back to this.

All right, let me talk about
some edits
I got you, though.

>> Paula Sima (01:15:00):
You got this?

Yeah. Yeah. All right, are you ready for number
four then?

>> Paula Sima (01:15:05):
Yes.

Okay, number four,
what is your favorite dish to make.

>> Paula Sima (01:15:14):
Any type of. Type of pasta.
Like, I am a pasta. Ah,
freak. Like, I love pasta.
Pasta and potatoes are my go to food.
My Soul food. But um,
I like playing because pasta you can play
around with different like you know,
Alfredo or

(01:15:36):
uh, just add up and make
it something, you know, like
whichever spaghetti. And it doesn't just necessarily have to be
pasta. Like it can be those elbows, whatever,
like the spaghetti corner, the entire
it. I just love playing around with it and
especially with seafood. So I create

(01:15:56):
my own recipes. Sometimes I look online and
see, oh, this. But I'm a tiny this way.
So anything pasta.

Okay, sounds good.
Alrighty. Well, you know, as we come
through the very last question of the show,
which is where could people find out more about
you?

>> Paula Sima (01:16:19):
All right, so you can find me
anywhere and everywhere at Talk Shit
with P. Um, I'm very active
on Instagram.
I, um, will respond to Instagram DM than an email.
But also in the few months,
uh, I, uh, I really do want to disappear out of

(01:16:41):
social media. So,
uh, I might be a little bit quiet
in the coming few months on social media, but you can
find me anywhere at Talk Shippy.

Okay.
I still tell you looking for the book.

>> Paula Sima (01:17:00):
Oh, give me one second.

No, no, no, you can.

>> Paula Sima (01:17:04):
You know that we are done. Oh my God.

Well, I mean once you get that, I just gotta do my closeout stuff
and then if you want I can just do a close out right now.
And then when you find.

>> Paula Sima (01:17:15):
Because you can just edit this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Paula Sima (01:17:18):
I'm gonna mute myself.

Okay.

>> Paula Sima (01:17:19):
That way I find.

All right, well,
hopefully you got something out of this particular episode. We had an
awesome opportunity to talk. Talk with Paula,
um, talk shit with P. Definitely check
out her podcast. And she has so many great
value out of it. Now if you're one of the people
who are actually dealing with ah,

(01:17:41):
depression and you feel as though, uh, this is
something that you might just need some help, uh, some
immediate help, you can just dial 988-
um- so that you can go ahead on and get that help today.
But one of the things I just want to let you know, like, hey,
if you ever need somebody to talk to or if
you, if there's a topic that you want me to kind of go through,

(01:18:02):
just go ahead on and shoot me a DM at
about that wallet on
Instagram. That's where I'm most active. Uh,
or even just respond to one of the episodes on,
or actually respond to this episode in the show notes, let me
know because one of the things that I am curious about is like,
how can we help you build, build a better relationship with

(01:18:23):
yourself and also with your money.
So with that everybody, I wish Y' all the best. We out.
Peace.

>> Paula Sima (01:18:32):
All right. Ask me that question about the book again. I found it.

Okay. Ah, well, make sure I got
my. Because, you know, I got my little. My
little notes.
Okay. Number, um,
three. Is there a book that inspired
your journey or change your perspective?

>> Paula Sima (01:18:52):
Yes, that will be, um, the Name of
God is Mercy by Pope Francis. That
was a very good read. It stays with me
until today. And I might just order another. The.
The. The book. The copy right now on Amazon because I
might need to read it again.

Yeah, it'll be probably good for your journey, I guess.

>> Paula Sima (01:19:13):
It is indeed.

Yeah. All right.
For my edits. But
I know what to edit.

>> Paula Sima (01:19:24):
All right.

Um, cool.

>> Paula Sima (01:19:27):
Oh, wow. We spoke for one and a half hour.

Oh, dude. I know it's been recording that long,
but, um, I'm sure we only. Yeah, it's been about that
long. All right,
it's back.

>> Paula Sima (01:19:39):
It's been recording that wrong, but that's how long we've
been talking.

Yeah, I mean, I'mma keep it. I'mma try to keep it
as raw as possible, obviously at the end, move
some things around. But, um, my
audience do enjoy the long episodes because they do have
long drives where they listen to the show when they going on
flights and stuff like that. So. But like I said, I
do have an AI episode that would do a summary of all of

(01:20:03):
this for like 10 minutes.

>> Paula Sima (01:20:05):
So the air comes out and this
one comes out. And I will make sure to
shade promote it. Is there anything you need from my end?

Um, no. If you haven't already subscribed to the
show on, uh, Spotify, like, do you listen to
Spotify? Uh, Apple.

>> Paula Sima (01:20:22):
What if I up. Even though I have.
I mean, I just enjoying Spotify, but I normally
go live reviews on Apple, but. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, if you can just leave a review that'll be helpful for me.

>> Paula Sima (01:20:34):
I. Every time I. I always
wait until the episode comes out and then I listen to
it and then I write a review.
Because whenever I guess I write a review as
being a guest, but also as you
being the host.

Ah, I like that. Okay, I need to go back to some of mine that
I've been. I
like that. Um, so yeah, if you ever need
me to. Well, that's right. You're already locked in and you're probably
not doing any more anytime soon. You're more than welcome to
come on a live panel.

>> Paula Sima (01:21:06):
Yeah, when I figure out what I'm
doing. Season 10. Because these episodes,
um, I'm putting them up from. They're gonna start
going out from next week, and by March they'll
be done. So I feel like season 10,
because I want to end it this year. So I feel like I
will work on

(01:21:26):
that and
start it maybe around,
uh. Because the project I'm working on right now.
Let me see. Let me.

You gotta remove the filter. That's all.

>> Paula Sima (01:21:40):
Yeah. Let me remove my background.

Oh, let me stop the recording. Hold on.
That recording.

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299: [Paula Sima] Breaking the Silence: Conversations on Mental Health

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