306: [Doug Lynam] Ai Review

We're diving deep into the fascinating world of money management today, and the big takeaway is all about recognizing your "money monsters." These clever little critters are those unconscious patterns and fears that shape how we handle our finances—think of them as the gremlins of your budget! Our guest, Doug Lenham, a former Marine turned Benedictine monk and now a successful money manager, shares his unique journey and insights on how our childhood experiences can create these monsters. He uses the Enneagram personality system to help us identify our financial behaviors, whether we're earners, savers, or, dare I say, "blingers!" Plus, we tackle some practical advice for those of us in the sandwich generation juggling kids and aging parents—hint: remember to pay yourself first! So grab your headphones, and let’s get ready to tackle those money monsters together!

Takeaways:

• This podcast episode dives into financial habits, focusing on how to talk about money in a way that feels natural and enjoyable.
• Doug Lenham, a former Marine and monk, shares powerful insights about transforming your relationship with money after facing bankruptcy.
• Understanding your 'money monsters' through the Enneagram helps identify childhood trauma that affects financial behaviors.
• The episode emphasizes the importance of being financially literate and taking responsibility for your own financial future, no one cares more than you!
• For the sandwich generation, it's crucial to set boundaries and prioritize your own financial health while caring for others.
• Teaching kids about money early, like giving allowances, can help them understand saving and long-term growth through smart investing.

💬 Question of the Day: What money traumas have you faced, and how have they influenced your financial decisions? Share your thoughts in the comments!

🔗 Connect with Doug Lynam:

Website: https://www.douglynam.com/

⚠️ DISCLAIMER:

This content is for educational purposes only and is not financial advice. Always consult a licensed financial professional when needed.

#AboutThatWallet #MoneyTrauma #FinancialLiteracy #Enneagram #SelfCare

Episode 306 (bonus)

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the Deep Dive. Ourmission is simple. Take the sources,
pull out the key knowledge,and help you get well informed fast.
And today we're digging intothe about that Wallet podcast.
That's right. Specifically foranyone new to it. Or maybe part of
the sandwich generation.
Exactly. Those folksbalancing, you know, kids and aging
parents financially. Thepodcast aims to build habits so you

(00:22):
can actually talk about, spendand importantly, enjoy your money.
Okay, so let's get into it.Their guest, Doug Lenham. Sounds
fascinating. His backgroundisn't typical finance, is it?
Not at all. He's a formerMarine, then a Benedictine monk for
20 years.
Twenty years?
Yeah. And now he's asuccessful money manager and author.

(00:43):
The book's called Taming yougMoney Monster.
Quite the journey. How did heeven get into finance from a monastery?
Well, that's the kicker. Themonastery actually went bankrupt
just three years after he joined.
Seriously?
Yeah. And it. It forced him toface his own feelings about money,
which he'd largely avoided. Hehad this realization that money,
if you use it right, isn'tbad. It could be a tool for, like,

(01:04):
love and service.
Coming from someone who livedwithout it, that's powerful.
Definitely shifts your perspective.
So he talks about moneytraumas. What does he mean by that?
It sounds intense.
It often goes back tochildhood. He says for him, it was
his parents divorce when hewas 7. Money became sort of a weapon
in their fights.
Ah, okay. So that createdanxiety for them.
Right. And money avoidance inhim. He connects this to what he

(01:29):
calls money monsters.
Okay, money monsters. How doeshe help people identify those?
He uses the Enneagram. It's apersonality system. But he focuses
on how our childhood stufflike anger, sadness, fear, shapes
our defenses around money.These defenses are the money monsters.
They're unconscious patterns.
Does he give examples like his own?

(01:49):
He does. He's a type three,the achiever. His core fear being
worthless.
Ooh, heavy.
Yeah. And for him, that showedup as two monsters. The barrier.
That's avoiding looking at thenumbers because low net worth felt
like low self worth.
I think many people can relateto that one totally.
And the other was the Blingerusing flashy stuff to get approval.

(02:10):
Kind of like his dad did.
So these patterns affecteverything. Earning, saving.
Exactly. The four pillars. Hecalls them. Earning, saving, investing,
and giving. You can be anxiousor avoidant in any of those areas.
So this is fascinating forself discovery, but let's bring it
back to the sandwichgeneration listener. They're juggling
so much. How does knowing yourmonster help practically?

(02:32):
Well, it's huge for them.Because discipline and priorities
are non negotiable. When yourmoney is stretched thin, Doug really
hammers home. Paying yourself first.
Meaning don't sacrifice yourown retirement or savings completely
for kids and parents.
Precisely. You can't martyryour own financial future. Awareness
of your patterns helps you setthose boundaries.

(02:52):
But those conversations.Talking money with family can be
so difficult. Any advice there?
Openness, transparency. Healso suggests understanding your
partner's enneagram. Typetheir core fears. It helps you communicate
with empathy, not justthrowing numbers around.
Makes sense. Talk theirlanguage. Essentially.
You got it.
What about that radicalresponsibility idea from the monastery?

(03:14):
How does that apply financially?
It means, look, you can hire atax pro, you can get an investment
advisor, delegate tasks, okay?But you can never delegate the ultimate
responsibility for your money.You have to stay financially literate.
No one cares more about yourmoney than you do. It's about ownership.
Got it? So stay engaged. Evenif you get help. And for teaching

(03:34):
kids start young.
Allowances are key, but guidethem. Put some here for saving, maybe
an emergency bit. And. Andlook, put a little in a simple index
fund.
Ah, to show them long term growth.
Yeah, let them see compoundingwork. Even on a small scale. It makes
it real.
One last monster, the giver.Often a type too, right?

(03:54):
The person who might give toomuch. Maybe out of a fear of not
being loved. If they don't.Doug's point is that true generosity
comes from feeling worthy andloved inside, not from trying to
buy it externally. It's adifferent driver.
So wrapping up, we've taken adive into about that Wallet, explored
Doug Laneham's ideas on moneymonsters, the Enneagram and radical

(04:16):
responsibility. All superrelevant for the sandwich generation.
And it really leaves you withsomething to think about. Which of
those money monsters maybe thebarrier? The Blinger? The giver?
Which one might be whisperingin your ear?
And how could just recognizingthat pattern start to change your
relationship with money? It'sa powerful question. If you found
this deep dive valuable,please do leave a review or comment

(04:38):
wherever you're listening andcheck out the.
Monthly newsletter for moreinsights. That's at about that wallet.com
newsletter.