God is Good: A Testament to Faith from Peter Silvas' Life Story

Episode Transcript
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(00:03):
Welcome to the Abundant LifePodcast, bringing.
You encouragement andchallenging believers to spiritual.
Change and growth by applyingbiblical principles to everyday life.
And now your hosts, SassoMendez and Ben Arellano.
Welcome, everybody, to theAbundant Life Podcast.
This is episode number 73.
I'm here with my good friendand faithful servant in the faith

(00:25):
sauce.
So, Mendez.
Hey, Ben.
What's going on?
What's up, brother?
It's like, it's been a monthor so.
It's been a little bit, butit's usually that, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Once a month.
I think it's a goal.
It's the norm.
Amicable.
Yeah.
We do have a special guest.
He had just told me right nowthat his primo JJ did not set him
up for success.
But we have JJ's cousin Peterjoining a special guest.

(00:47):
And, Peter, say hello.
How you doing?
I.
You know, I mean, thank youguys for having me.
I appreciate it, you know.
Yeah, J.D.
didn't put me up on game, man.
He just, wow, threw me out there.
And just, you know, I waslike, man, just give me a little
bit of, you know, pointers, bro.
What's up, man?
I mean, come on, man.
I mean, we had to tell jj.
Hook a brother up.
I know.

(01:07):
Jj, eat the mic.
Because JJ was far away.
It sounded like he was, like,JJ was chilling, right?
I know.
You could barely hear him.
He was living his best lifeway back here.
Get that gangster lean.
That sounds like all the way back.
And he could barely touch the petals.
That sounds like.
That sounds like.
So we like to go ahead andjust what we call this, taco talk.

(01:27):
And every guest that we have,we like to ask them what is their
favorite food or what, youknow, what.
What's.
You know, what is your palate fancy?
My wife, she.
She makes these tacos that chicharron.
Wow.
So those are my little go to.
And my sister makes these.

(01:48):
We just had them yesterdaybecause we went to a birthday party,
but some green chicken, chilienchiladas with the.
With the cream of chicken.
It's good, man.
Fire.
Well, we went to.
When I went to the hospital tosee you, your sister made you a pie
or a cake or.
What was that?
It was a cheesecake.
Cheesecake.
Yeah, it was a cheesecake.
Half cheesecake.
I know you politely offered,and we're supposed to decline, but

(02:10):
Tony did not decline, and hetook a big piece.
He'll say, oh, no, thank you, bro.
Even though he wants it.
You're supposed to say, no.
But he.
He did indulge.
That's not.
That's not shocking, bro.
No, it's not.
I would expect nothing lessthan from humans.
Garbage disposal.
Give it to Mikey.
Give it to Tony.
He's a large man.
I think he had some Carl'sJuniors or something.
Oh, yeah, it was.
That was my little.

(02:31):
Yeah, my little stand rightthere in the hospital for a little
bit while doing the radiationthere was.
They were giving.
Bring me food, you know, ithad the hospital food, but.
But my sister.
My wife was there to bring me food.
No, I didn't get none of that.
I didn't really know that, man.
But since you've been backhome, that she took you.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Like I said yesterday, went toa party and she had that.

(02:54):
The green chili enchiladas.
Yeah, Green chili from like,Hatch, New Mexico, or is it just.
Oh, no, it's just from my area.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like from Buckeye.
Okay.
Not imported.
No, I mean, has been from NewMexico, so he's kind of.
Yeah, my chili snob.
A little snobbish on the.
I love that green chili fromNew Mexico.
It's good Stu stuff, man.

(03:15):
That's what I was born.
I was born out there.
Oh, yeah?
Where at, man?
I was born in Hobbs.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, my mom, my dad, J.J. wewere both.
He.
He was born.
Yeah, we.
We just found out, me and JJ together.
Not we didn't just find out,but I just found out that he was
born out there too as well.
He lived with my.
My mom.
Well, he didn't.
But his parents lived with.

(03:35):
Okay, my parents for a timeout there.
He's from Hops too, right?
Yeah, he was born out there.
He was born out there too.
That sounded familiar.
Yeah, that DJ was right there.
All right, so fellow NewMexicans here.
Right on, bro.
I don't.
I don't.
I don't know nothing.
Honestly, I don't know nothing about.
I mean, I got family out there.
I mean, I've never lived out there.
You know, I spent all my lifeout here.

(03:57):
I was just born out there.
And I came out here to Arizonawhere my family's at.
Okay.
Where did you live here?
I grew up in Guadalupe, Arizona.
Yeah, From Guadalupe, Arizona.
And I grew up with my twosisters and two cousins.

(04:17):
My grandma raised.
Raised five of us there.
You got any good spots downthere to eat in Guadalupe?
Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean.
I mean, they got the youngis,you know, they always have.
Didn't have different littleshops in there, the little Mexican
shops, you know, or differentlittle restaurants you got.
I haven't been there in a While.
But there's some pretty good.
They had a good seafood, likea Marisco Center.

(04:39):
All right.
I'm always apprehensive aboutMariscos in Arizona because we're
so far from the ocean, youknow what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
A little nervous.
Fresh.
Fresh.
Yeah.
Put some spray on.
Some sardine spray.
Where's the ocean at thatthey're getting that from?
Yeah, I know.

(04:59):
It cannot.
It cannot park the lake withthe river.
Yeah.
Like the Simpsons or the fishwith the three eyes, you know, out
of the power plant.
You never know.
You know, you don't get thechoro from the.
From the.
Out there in the river bottom.
I know.
Yeah.
Salt river over there.
Close to.
What is it, Palo Verde or whatis it?
Not palo Verde, That's.

(05:20):
That's a power plant.
Yeah, it's a power plant.
Yeah, over there.
Peter lived by the palo Verde.
There you go.
Buckeye, right?
Find the fish of the guysthere, bro.
I know.
It's a little mission outthere, man.
Thank you for coming out here.
I mean, I remember I had acourt case over there.
I mean, when I say court case,I mean my dog got out of the gate.
It's not like, you know,anything crazy.

(05:41):
But I went to the front and Iasked the person.
I was like 45 minutes late.
I said, hey, you know, wheredo I go?
And the guy's like, hey, go to the.
There's a little small.
I mean, it's a small officewith the courtroom.
He said, go in the courtroom.
Wait for the judge.
So I wait 10 minutes and thenit's the same guy with the black
robe on.
I'm like, it's the same guythat was at the front desk and he
said, how do you plead?

(06:02):
And I mean, it was amisdemeanor for my dog, and so I
pleaded guilty, whatever.
And then he's like, go to thefront and pay the fine.
So I go to the front and I'mwaiting another 10 minutes.
The same guy with no robotsays, takes my money.
He's like, okay, thank you.
And I'm like, this thing.
Like the same dude?
Yeah, he's the police, the.
The judge, secretary, everything.
I'm like, dang.
Buckeye is a small, small place.

(06:24):
Yeah, I mean, it's pretty small.
I'm sure it's bigger now, butit's like a one horse town, as they
would say.
Pretty small.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He goes, you go through thereand you're just one.
Road 85 with Route 85 orHighway 84.
Yeah, 85 or something.
Just go straight through there.
Pretty small, but it's growingall the way out to Tonopah.
And all that area is growingpretty fast.

(06:44):
So how long take you to getout here?
About 45 minutes.
Yeah, man, probably about an hour.
Sorry, bro.
Yeah, I was kind of late, too.
I mean, I thought, you know.
We worried about you.
You know, I was gonna call JJto see if he could fill in.
If he didn't show, you know, Ithought maybe he'd fallen asleep
or something, you know, and,you know, you got.
Or whatever.

(07:04):
I know you're going through alot, so.
Yeah, still.
All right, well, we can getinto it.
Anything interesting?
You eating?
I mean, we've been to Bdubs acouple times, but.
Yeah, nothing.
Nothing special.
I mean, you know, I've hadGeorgian sons the other day.
I, like.
I know you don't care too muchfor, you know, for Asian, but I like
the.
It was pretty good.
I like it.
I mean, it's.
It's.
It's upgraded from panda, bro.

(07:26):
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it's good Asian food.
Yeah.
But for whatever reason, Idon't know, I just kind of.
I mean, I like.
Because I like rice, and Ilike, you know, noodles and, you
know, that kind of stuff.
And then, you know, they makethe chicken spicy.
I got the general Yang orsour, whatever it is.
Chicken, it's spicy, you know,and I like.
Because I like spicy general gato.

(07:51):
Sophie, come here.
Oh, man.
That's horrible.
You like Chinese food, Peter?
You know, I haven't reallybeen big.
I've never really been big onChinese food.
Not, you know, a big fan of it.
My wife, she is.
I just don't understand it.
I mean, I don't know.
She got my kids all into sushiright now, and.
Oh, boy.
And it seems like it's everywhere.

(08:11):
And I don't understand.
I just barely found out, Iguess, or just learned that that
sushi's rice.
And I didn't know that andprobably sound dumb right now because
I guess it's just rice andjust other little things that they
raw.
I mean, you can get raw fish.
You can get shark, tuna, whatever.
You can get all kinds of.
In the roll.
Yeah.
But it's pretty much justrice, right?

(08:32):
In a roll.
It's a California roll.
But then they put like.
Like raw salmon or whatever.
You know, like, the rice isthe tortilla, and then they put things
in it, you know?
But, yeah, I just.
I have expensive, too.
Yeah, it's not very flavorful.
Honestly, I've never had it.
It's just, I don't know, I.
That one, I, that I get likewhat you're saying I don't get.

(08:52):
I don't get the sushi.
Like I don't.
Yeah, it's different.
There's different.
There's different things inthere that's they're explaining to
me.
You get avocado roll.
Yeah, that's okay.
That's good.
Yeah.
But it's like 18 bucks forlike three rolls.
I'm like.
Give you garnet with 14 bucks.
But it's full of meat.
Yeah.
I could feed all four of mykids or all three of my kids with

(09:14):
one burito.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
$85 for the 1212 ounce RI atTexas Roadhouse for 20 bucks.
Like I'd rather have some34.99, bro.
Bone in.
20 ounce.
I mean.
Yeah, yeah, the bone in is good.
The 20 ounce.
Yeah.
Well, everyone went toEnsenada and they had those pools
of fish where they're likethat pool with the net is very expensive.
Yeah.

(09:34):
Remember that?
Yeah.
And it's like the.
Wasn't it like owned by theChinese government or something?
Like it was like othercountries that.
Like the Cheetos on it, bro.
Yeah, Mexico.
And it was like these in themiddle the ocean, right?
Yeah.
And they had like where theywere cultivating the.
These fish are probably forfish farms.
They're farms and they're highend fish that they've sold for a
lot, a lot of money.
Yeah.

(09:55):
Like one fish is likethousands of dollars or something.
Crazy.
Oh, that's crazy.
Yeah, yeah.
And they're like guarded too,like aren't they?
Like, I mean they're watched like.
Yeah.
In case try to steal.
Yeah, it's.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
And they make, they make.
After they breed them andstuff, they put them on the grill.

(10:16):
So I think what they do isthey sell them to high end restaurants
throughout the world and Ithink they're very valuable fish.
So I mean it's a expensive,that's expensive fish.
Whatever.
The fish probably like sushi.
That's the real, you know,the, the high end sushi.
Sushi.
Not the all you can eat small bucks.
Not like like the Poke bar orwhatever it's called Pocket Bar or
whatever.

(10:36):
The ones they got in RanchoMart right here.
Marisco's at Food City.
Yeah, you're not gonna seethat there.
And how to get sushi in that.
And the Rancho Marks, this is AJ.
Fish, you know, I mean this ishigh end.
Yeah, but they said they'rereally valuable, right?
I don't know.
They put a net in the middleof the ocean, and that's why it.

(10:56):
Looks like a ring justfloating on the water, but then the
net goes underneath.
But they're like fish farms orsomething like that.
Wow, that's pretty wild.
I can see fish get too fat andthey can't fit out the net.
I don't know how that works,but I don't know.
Or maybe they just, you know,string it up and throw it on the
boat and.
Yeah, you got somebody, theygot a wrangler or somewhere, somebody
go down and arrest.

(11:18):
Yeah, for real.
They're big, you know, soMexico, who knows?
But it's big business.
They sold it to the.
To the Chinese people.
So give me your fried ricerecipe and we'll let you have a net
in the water.
I don't know, some trade, somebartering, something.
Yeah.
All right, you ready?
Yeah, let's.
Let's get into it.
And before we get into thecontent, just want to remind you

(11:38):
guys to Visit us atAbundantLife FM.
You can download episodes.
You can also check us out on YouTube.
We have all of our videos.
We've been putting up somecool content.
We, you know, got some reelsand shorts now coming up.
And so we've been doing a lotof stuff with social media, so check
that out.
For sure.
See jj.

(11:58):
Yeah.
Yeah, you can check out JJ up there.
I don't know.
It's a few podcast episodesago, and we had the one with JJ and.
And his police officer buddy.
Forgive me, I can't rememberhis name.
I know.
I'm trying to think right now, anyway.
But yeah, Visit us on YouTube.
We're also on.
On meta on Facebook andInstagram and actually, we just started
Tick Tock, so, uh, we get alot of hate on Tick Tock, bro.

(12:22):
Really?
Uh, you know, we did the, uh,Charlie Kirk episode and, man, get
a lot of hate on there, bro.
But, uh, it's all good, man.
People, I'm just thinking tomyself, like, yeah, but you watched
it, bro.
So.
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, thanks for the.
I mean, we get a lot ofwatches on there.
Ye.
Yeah, we get some decent watches.
We've been getting a lot oflove on.
On the shorts on.

(12:43):
On YouTube.
Okay.
And then some of some onInstagram too.
But.
But yeah, we get most of thehate on.
On Tik Tok.
Right.
A lot of the kids, you know.
Yeah, the younger.
Yeah, for sure.
I know, right.
But you're just young.
Sorry.
And.
But do you still get like views?
You still get views?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So it's still like.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Like they're still watching it.

(13:04):
They might comment and saysomething negative or whatever, but
I'm like, yeah, but youwatched it, bro.
Yeah, like the people that saylike Anti Elon Club and they have
a Tesla, like, you stillbought the Tesla.
Yeah, and then they burn itand I'm like, bro, like, seriously,
like, you just, you know,might as well take that money and
flush it down the.
You can buy my products andburn them as much as you want.
Just keep buying them.
Yeah, so, yeah, keep giving meyour money.
Yeah, it's dumb.
I seen a guy with the CharlieCrook shirt on just right now actually

(13:26):
on the mountain, so.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, very cool.
Y.
So anyway, yeah, so visit US,Money, Life FM, YouTube, Facebook,
Instagram, and now Tik Tok.
And with that we're going toget into our verse of the day and
we'll get into some content here.
All right, Philippians 4:13.
This is a verse that Peterstated his mom used to say to him
and a special verse to him,especially now as he's going through

(13:48):
a difficult time in his life.
But first, Philippians 4:13.
The Bible says I can do allthings through Christ which strengtheneth
me.
All right, Peter, with thattransition here, what, you know,
what do you want your, your,our audience to know?
Your family, your kids as youtell your story?
What are the pieces you wantto pull out of that, of how God has

(14:11):
worked in your life in thepast and then all the way up to today?
Wow.
It's been, it's, you know, I'm43 years old, man, and.
And you know, I feel like I'velived a pretty extensive hard life,
you know what I mean?
It's been rough, you know whatI'm saying?
And I, I grew up, I grew uppretty, pretty rough, man.

(14:36):
I grew up going by Triste.
They used to call me Tristewhen I was a kid.
Triste boy, you know, my momused to call me that when I was a
kid.
And I, I grew up.
I didn't know, I didn't know.
I didn't know God.
I didn't know nothing aboutGod, you know.
And I grew up.
My mom was a heroin addict andso my dad was a block layer and my

(15:00):
mom was a stay at home mom,but she got addicted to heroin.
And so I was raised, Me and mysister were raised In Guadalupe by
my grandmother.
And so my mom was in and outof prison and her being in and out
of prison, you know, being aheroin addict herself, you know,

(15:23):
Know I went, I went, Ifollowed her into the streets basically,
cuz she was on the streets,you know.
So I followed her into the streets.
I was a mama's boy, you know,I got two, I got two sisters, a younger
one and an older one.
And she was in and out, in andout of prison and, and she was a

(15:45):
Christian, she knew the Lordand so she would always feed, feed
me, you know, I was in thestreets with her.
You know, I was at a veryyoung age, I was already doing drugs.
You know, I was running the streets.
I used to run the streetslooking for her, you know, I mean,
because she would, she was inthe streets looking for her drug.
She was chasing her.
It was crazy.
Cuz she was chasing her drugand I was chasing her.

(16:06):
Like I was chasing heraffection, the love that a mom, you
know, Because I was a littleboy, you know what I mean?
And I was a mama's boy.
So you know, I went throughall that in there and the town is
a little, it's pretty rough.
It could be rough, you know,on, on, on kids, you know, when I
was growing up, in the timethat I was growing up there, you

(16:26):
know, it was, it was prettyrough and.
But the one thing that shealways did was she, every time she
got out, she would feed theword to me.
When she would write to me,she would tell me about God, you
know, how Jesus died on thecross for me and you know what I
mean?
And I would just, okay, mom,whatever, you know, like in one year,

(16:47):
out the other, cuz of how shewas living her life, it was hard
for me to, to, to believeanything that she was telling me
about God.
So I just didn't believe it,you know.
And I, I, I started gettingarrested for, for grand theft auto.

(17:09):
Like JJ growing up, you know,we used to, we started stealing.
I was out of all of us, me, JJand my primos.
There's a lot, there's,there's quite a bit of us.
I'm one of the older ones.
So like they, they watched medo things, you know what I mean?
They learned as we weregrowing up in, as kids, you know,

(17:29):
I was, I started stealing carswhen I was like 11, 12 years old,
driving cars on the freeway.
I started driving on thefreeway when I was like 13 years
old.
And I got arrested.
I was getting arrested in andout when I was like nine Years old,
I threw a table at one of myteachers and I started getting arrested.

(17:51):
I had a real, my dad, I had areal bad anger issues.
You know, my dad had a bad temper.
He was a good man.
My dad was a good, hardworking man.
He was a block player, youknow, and he just, you know, he drank.
He was a, you know, he likedthe beer, you know, and, but he had
a temper.
Had a bad, bad temper, man.

(18:14):
And you know, his wife gotaddicted to heroin.
So, you know, it's a battle,it was a battle that he was, that
he had to face as well, you know.
Must have been hard too, youknow, for a man that's going to work
every day and then you got awife, you know, and just, it's hard.
So it just didn't work forthem, you know, it just, they grew
apart and, you know, that wasa traumatic, one of the first traumatic

(18:38):
things for me, you know, andlittle did I know that my life, you
know, like I said, my life, Igrew up being called Triste.
And my, one of my Theos, hewas a Cristiano too.
He was my mom's oldest brother.
He told me, man, why do youguys, you guys give your guys selves,

(18:59):
nicknames, man?
And you guys, your, yourparents gave you guys good names.
You got a biblical name, youknow, you know, Peter, Daniel.
That's my name.
Yeah, right, right.
And, and he goes, you know,because you guys, you guys become,
eventually you guys becomeyour name.
You guys are calling your guysyourselves, whatever you guys are

(19:20):
calling yourselves.
And it's like you guys aretaking on that identity, you know,
it's, it's creating who you are.
And I never really, he told methat when I was a kid, you know,
and I never really understoodit until, and me, I always thought,
okay, well, it's the oppositebecause I'm not sad.
I'm not.
You don't see me sad ever, youknow, in my.
And so it was like, you know,you call a big dude tiny.

(19:43):
Yeah.
So it's like that, it's likethe opposite, you know, and like
Tony Tiny.
That's funny, bro.
That's actually funny.
I was gonna take a shower, butI, you know, I said.
Teed it.
Up, but, but so, you know, it,it, it kind of did took a life of.
On my, on my life, you know.

(20:05):
So as I started growing up,you know, I got locked up when I,
when I was 14.
That's when I, I, I finallygot locked up.
When the judge finally said,you Know what?
I'm.
I'm done.
It was 4th of July, me and mybrother, I, I was gonna go touch

(20:25):
some, some chick and, and youknow, I got him with me, you know,
and my brother went with me.
He was younger, you know, he'smy primo.
But my, my, my grandmotherraised us, you know what I'm saying?
So my brother left.
He.
He went with me and we wentand I stole a car and we ended up.

(20:45):
Long story short, we ended upcoming back to Guadalupe and I'm
driving.
Well, what, what ended uphappening is that like a week before
this, my other, I call them mybrothers, but these are my primos,
you know what I mean?
We all grew up, like JJ toldyou guys, we all grew up real close,
you know, bro, and got anotherbrother named Chato.

(21:05):
He, he's a little bit older.
He's a year older than me, youknow, we're the same age and we grew
up with each other as well,you know.
And a week before, he hadwanted to turn himself in to, to
go back to Adobe Mountainbecause that's where we would go.
And, and I went with him andwe were, it was a week prior to this

(21:27):
and, and we went and knockedon the sheriff's office and he goes
and wants to turn himself in.
And we're 14, we're 13, 14years old, you know, and it's like
2 o' clock in the morning andhe wants to turn himself in.
And the, the, the cops like,nah, man, dude, what are you talking
about?
I can't.
You guys, you gotta go home.
There's no warrant here foryour arrest, so I can't just lock

(21:48):
you up, you know, so I gottatake you back home.
While that same officer.
Fast forward to when me andLouis stole, when I went, when I
stole this car, I'm drivinginto Guadalupe and this off the officer
that had seen me a week priorto this, he's driving into Guadalupe
and I'm driving out ofGuadalupe and he sees me.

(22:08):
So he sees, hey, I just seenthis little kid a week ago, how he's.
Now he's driving, you know, soit must have probably looked crazy,
you know, I mean, like, youknow what I mean?
Like now I sit back and Ithink about it.
I'm like, how can I, I see a13 year old kid.
I'm like, man, I can't seemyself driving, man.
But that's what it was.
I mean, I was, we're, we'rereally driving cars like that.

(22:30):
And so that's how he seen me.
And, and he flipped.
He flipped it and he turnedhis lights on.
He got behind us and the judgehad already was tired and she was
like, you know, you're goingto Adobe Mountain for a year.
And So I was 14 years old andI went to Adobe Mountain for a year.
And, and that's where my life changed.

(22:51):
It had a.
And you know, I really want tospeak on this too, is that, you know,
the youth, like in myneighborhood, you know, I want to.
I would like to go back inthere and maybe try to speak to the
youth because, you know, Iwent to Adobe Mountain and, And you
know, that was supposed to besomething for youth, a youth like

(23:14):
prison rehabilitation typething, right?
But when I was growing up, youknow, that was basically just, you
go there and you learn morecrime, you learn, you go and get
educated.
Yeah, it's Adobe Mountain School.
You're going to go over thereand get educated, but it's not the
education that, you know, sothat's what happened to me.

(23:34):
I went there and I just goteducated on all kinds of dumb stuff,
just.
And, but you go there and, youknow, you have.
It's a battle zone.
You're having to fight, you'rehaving to, you know what I mean,
defend yourself and, you know,people wouldn't bully you and all
that.
So you go there and it's,it's, it's rough, you know, and there's

(23:55):
little kids there where it'sall to double balance the kid thing,
you know.
So I'm, I'm.
She sentenced me there for a year.
I had to go there for a year.
This was 96, I was 14 years old.
And so I went there and I'mthere for a year.
And you know, my brother Chatwas there, Lefty's there, you know,
I think Jade or JJ pulled up there.

(24:15):
He was in the cottage rightnext to me at one time.
And.
Well, I was in a cottage andthere was this dude, man, and he
used to get bullied a lot.
He was always getting bullied,you know what I mean?
And, and, and, and he, me, Iwas a Travieso.
So my name was always outthere, you know.

(24:37):
But mine, my, my Primo, mybrothers, all of us were always Travieso.
So our names were always upthere with the directors and they
were always, were always.
I was always getting introuble, you know what I mean?
And there was some littlewhite dude that always getting bullied
in that cottage.
And he, he, he went and hetold the.

(24:57):
An officer that I had tried tostick a Shampoo bottle up his.
And so they went and they getit went.
And they sent me.
They sent me to the hole.
I had to go to the hole.
They sent me the hole.
And.
And for like, three days, hesaid that he made up this story because
he wanted to get moved out the cottage.

(25:17):
He was getting bullied, youknow what I mean?
And me being the travo, it waseasy to go ahead and say, oh, yeah.
I mean, it's more believable.
This dude's always getting introuble, you know what I'm saying?
So.
So what ended up happening,though, is that they moved me.
I get moved to the other cot,another cottage.
I had already been there ayear, and.

(25:39):
And I went to my parole boardand they denied it, you know what
I mean?
So I got mad.
I was.
I was already been there for a year.
I got mad because they movedme from 1, 2, like, now I'm not going
home or what.
Like, you know, so I went toanother cottage and they.
They were like, well, get your levels.

(26:00):
And you know, and I was like,nah, they moved my brother in there
to try to, you know what I'msaying, make us do good.
And I started doing good therefor a little bit.
But when I went to my paroleboard and he denied me, I got mad.
I got really upset.
So I came back and there was this.
This other kid.
There was.
And he came in.
He was working in the kitchen.
He came in and he was wearingsome new shoes.

(26:21):
Nikes?
No.
So I was like, hey, let me seeyour shoes.
And I tried them on.
They didn't fit me.
So I took the shoelaces off,and I'm angry, I'm mad, you know,
And.
And.
And.
And so I was like, hey, man,you got Jack.
You know, the shoes didn't fitme, but my.
My primo JJ had just pulled upinto the next.
Into the next cottage.
So I was like, they're gonnafit him, you know what I mean?

(26:42):
He got the little small foot,you know?
But long story short, man, youknow, it was just part of.
Of the environment of what wasgoing on there in adobe, you know
what I'm saying?
And.
And I.
He said some disrespectfulthings and.
And about his shoes, you know,because I told him, you got Jack,

(27:03):
you know what I'm saying?
And so I went in there and I.I beat him up, you know, and then
there was a shoelace hangingout my pocket, and I got it, and
I started choking him.
And like I said, I Was a, Iwas an angry kid, man.
I was pretty angry, man.
And I choked him.
I was choking him.
I was just angry foreverything, like everything that
I had been through in my life,you know, and just, it was just a

(27:25):
whole bunch of stuff, man.
And, and, and that was theturning point right there.
They came and the officers Dme and you know, they pulled me off.
Anyways, long story short,they ended up sending me to the,
my from Adobe Mountain.
They sent me to Madison, whichwas at the time the jail here, you

(27:49):
know, downtown in Arizona.
You know, it was a jail, butthey had juveniles there as well,
you know, so when you getcharged as an adult from Adobe Mountain,
they would, they would sendyou over there.
So they sent me to, to, toMadison as a, as a juvenile.
And so now we're, you know,I'm being charged as an adult.

(28:10):
They wanted first to charge mefor attempted whatever because they
said that I tried to attempt, supposedly.
No, just the shot.
Oh, gotcha.
But then, then they hit mewith attempt.
They could have hit me forattempted murder because the guy
could have said, well, I waschoking them, that, you know, I said
I was gonna kill him.
But they got me for aggravatedassault with the deadly weapon.

(28:31):
I was 15 years old.
Now I'm 15 years old.
My mom's in the county jail, okay?
I don't have an adult guardianthere representing me or telling
me, you know, what, you know,don't sign that plea bargain as a
minor.
You know, at that time, atthat, you know, in 90, what was like
97, 98, you know, I was only15 years old.

(28:53):
What am I going to know abouta plea bargain?
You know, like you're puttingthis plea bargain right here.
This is my life.
And you're telling me to signsomething that I don't.
I'm 15 years old, you knowwhat I'm saying?
You ask.
I think about it now, like, Ilook, I'm like, But the kids nowadays,
like if you get a 15 year oldkid and you put a plea bargain in
front of him, that has to dowith his life, man.

(29:15):
Like, he's not gonnaunderstand it.
And me, I'm trying to get outof there.
I'm getting tired of being in,in jail.
You know, the food is nasty,they treat you bad.
You know, I think that's thewhole part of the system, you know,
and so it's just in and out.
I want to sign this plea bargain.
So I signed a plea bargainfive years for, for aggravate aggravated

(29:36):
assault with the deadly weapon.
And they gave Me probation for.
For the attempted whatever, the.
The shampoo whatever, youknow, and that's the whole thing.
Like, I just.
They were just wanting to inand out, like, you know, instead
of, you know, really doing aninvestigation and, and me not knowing
what I was signing.
I didn't know what I was signing.

(29:57):
I was signing something thatwas gonna, you know, pretty much
had a. I had a hard lifebecause of all that, you know what
I mean?
Like, I. I went to prison forfive years, man.
You know, from now I'm 15years old, going to prison, you know,
for five years, and I go toRincon Miners and I'm in Rincon Minors

(30:20):
there, man.
And, you know, one thing thatI didn't tell you.
Well, I didn't start off by taught.
I should have.
Like, growing up in myneighborhood, I had uncles that were.
Well, I had, you know, I haduncles that been to the prison.
So I, you know, I had peoplethat were well known in prison, you
know, and.

(30:40):
And so.
And my mom, she had a lot of friends.
So me, unbeknownst to me thatI was being kind of trained or raised
to be a part of the lifestyle that.
That.
That prison.
That prison lifestyle type,you know, I guess somebody's seen
it that I, you know, I wasgoing to be in prison later on in
life, and they wanted tostart, you know, grooming me, you

(31:04):
know, for that.
For that life.
And I ended up getting caughtup in a lot of that.
And.
And.
But at the same time, like Isaid, my mom was in and out, and
so she was always throwing thepalau at me, you know, and.
And it would stick.
Some of it would stick, youknow, and I was.
I was in prison.
She was being.
And out of prison.

(31:24):
She.
She finally got out in 90.
In.
In 99, she got out of jail and.
Excuse me.
She started doing good, man.
And I was proud of her, youknow, in 99, I was.
I was 17 years old.
I was proud of her, man.
And she was going to church.

(31:45):
A body of breakthrough church.
I don't know if you guysremember, they had a radio station.
It was.
It was a Christian oldiesradio station.
Yeah, back in the days.
And.
And so she.
She was into that, you know,she go to church and.
And, um, she started visitingme, you know, and.
And I started seeing a littlebit of change in her, you know, she

(32:07):
was doing good.
And, um, there was oneThursday there that.
That I called home and Iremember I called home and she was
gonna come visit me.
She had bought a 69 Impala andshe drove it all the way from Guadalupe
to Tucson to go visit me, youknow, it was all beat up, but she
was proud of it, you know,like, yeah, you know, she had her

(32:28):
little lowrider, you know, andit became.
It was my favorite.
That was my.
The year.
That's my favorite car, you know.
And my nana is Tamiam.
She has bricks.
Went to go grocery shoppingand I didn't even have no room in
the trunk because she hascinder blocks in the trunk.
But, like, she wanted to lowerit, you know what I mean?

(32:49):
Like, well, that's stillghetto, but like, I mean, she was
proud of it, you know, it wassomething that she was working for,
you know, and she was doing sogood, man.
I was proud of her.
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Well, one Thursday I call homeand she's like, yeah, me, I'm gonna
go see you on, on Sunday, youknow, I'll be there.
And I was like, all right, Mom.
And, and okay, Saturday, itwas a Saturday night, I think.

(33:56):
And I had just got back toRincon Miners because that Ringcon
Miners, it's a little step upfrom Adobe, you know.
Now, you know, you're in thebig, kind of.
Not bigger, you're in thebigger leagues, you know, and.
And it's still little gangs,you know, but just like I said, I,
I was being trained.
Like, I was already writingto, like, people.

(34:18):
I was already in contact withindividuals that were up there in,
in the prison organizationsand lifestyles, you know, and from
the miners unit, you know,and, and so, so I was trying to run
the miners unit like an adult,you know, like adult prison, you
know, And I got in trouble.
And they had sent me to, to.

(34:39):
They had sent me to Florenceand they had an smu.
They had a little area for teenagers.
But my mom had got back.
Sorry if I'm all over theplace, you know, I mean, sometimes
that's how I am.
Like sometimes my story's allover, but it all connects.
And what ended up happening isthat I ended up coming back to Ring
Con Miners and my mom wasvisiting me and she was gonna come

(35:01):
visit me that Sunday.
Well, honest, on thatSaturday, you know, it was like maybe
7, 8, gonna be count close tocount time.
And, and, and I was gonnasmoke a cigarette.
We're gonna let a cigarettebean travies.
Because I was a little kid,you know, my door pops and I look

(35:22):
and I thought, oh man, what I,you know, he goes, hey, the sergeant
wants to talk to you.
I'm like, you know, I mean,what do you mean?
I start thinking like, whatdid I do this time?
You know, And I went, and Isee the sergeant and the, the officer
standing right there and he'snervous, man.
The sergeant's walking likehe's pacing like he's nervous, you
know, and, and I'm looking athim like, man, and now I start thinking,

(35:42):
man, what did I do?
Like, this dude, you know, helooks like I probably did something
bad, you know.
So I'm sitting here thinkingI'm in trouble or something, you
know, and he's like, I don'tknow, I don't know how to tag this.
I'm like, what do you mean?
What are you talking about?
And he goes, well, I just, Ijust got off the phone and your mom
has passed.
Your mom has passed away.

(36:03):
And I got up, I jumped up, youknow, I was, you know, that's how
I had a bad temper, man.
I was really an aggressive,really, really bad temper.
Aggressive, juvenile, you know.
And I got mad and I jumped upand I, you know, because he tell
me my mom's dead, you knowwhat I mean?
And the other officer grabbedme and sat me down.
He's like, calm down, youknow, And I, I just, I was like,

(36:25):
I want to call home, you know,like, yes, go ahead, you call.
You're going to call your sister.
And I called home and thefirst thing my sister told me, my,
my baby sister, she's a year younger.
She was like, brother, pleasedon't do nothing, don't do nothing
dumb, bro.
Please, please don't.
Promise me, you know, like.
And we cried it out, man.
It was hard, you know, tell a17 year old kid that, you know, his

(36:48):
mom's gone while he's lockedup, you know, now, now what do I
do?
You know, who do I, who do I,who do I chase?
Who do I Chase into thestreets or.
Like, it was.
It was pretty rough, man.
I, you know, my addictions,you know, because, you know that

(37:14):
that's where it stand, becauseI, you know, I was.
I was raised by an addict, youknow, so my drug of choice was.
Was crystal met, you know,real young.
I, like, JJ told you guys, youknow, we used to smoke real young,
you know, driving cars and.
And the heroin.
I never messed with it, man,because it killed my mom.
Like, I was 17 years old, man.

(37:35):
I hated that drug.
I hated it.
I hated it with a passion,man, and.
And I never missed with it,you know, it wasn't my.
My drug of choice, you know, I.
In 2002, I get out.
I'm 19 years old, man, and Iget out for the first time.
Now I'm out.
After all these years thatI've done as a child, I finally get

(37:55):
out into this world that Idon't know how to live.
My mom's gone, you know, I'vebeen locked up as a kid.
Now I'm 19 years old, comingout into the world.
Like, they didn't teach menothing in there, you know what I
mean?
Like, what am I supposed to do?
And it was crazy because I wasonly out for, like a month and a
half.
I ended up meeting some girlat my dad's.

(38:18):
And.
And the reason I, Like I'mbringing this up is because I've
been married.
I've been married three times.
But it's.
It's a very big part of mylife, man.
My first wife, like, I was young.
I was a kid, you know, I wasstill getting in trouble.

(38:38):
Like, we didn't.
It was like puppy love, like,so we just, you know.
Yeah, I was in prison.
I went to prison.
And.
And I got four and a halfyears while I was still.
Okay.
So in 2002, I got out, and Iwas still being a Travieso, and I
ended up meeting some girl.
I get locked up.

(38:59):
I get four and a half yearsfor a stolen car because I was out
there stealing cars and stilldoing dumb stuff.
And.
And she marries me in prison.
I marry her behind the glass,you know, in 2003 or four, I get
locked up, and they give mefour and a half years, and she wants

(39:21):
to marry me.
So my nana.
My nana and her mom drive upthere to Florence, where I was at,
and I was 19 years old, youknow, and we're behind glass, you
know, and we got to see ourVowels and all that.
It was kind of.
It was kind of.
It was a.
It was an experience, and itwas kind of weird, you know what
I mean, to get married behind glass.
But, I mean, I was a kid.

(39:43):
I didn't know what I was doing.
But, you know, we.
We ended up.
She ended up divorcing.
She wanted to go.
We're young, so I didn't.
You know, I didn't take it toomuch to heart.
We kind of did break my heart,tell you.
I can't lie.
You know, I was heartbrokenbecause that was my first love, you

(40:03):
know, puppy love or whatever,you know, and she leaves me in there.
So then I'm in there bymyself, and.
And I get out in 2007.
I get out, and now I get outin 2007.
I don't have.
I don't have.
You know, she divorced me, okay?

(40:24):
Now it's 2007.
I'm living at my nanas, all right?
And.
And at my nanas, you know, Istart working.
I'm working block, and they'repaying me $400 every Friday.
And so my primos, they're fromthe west side.
I got cousins that live outhere on the west side.
And every Friday, he wouldcome pick me up to take me out of

(40:49):
Guadalupe, you know what I'm saying?
Just to.
He seen that I was doing good,you know, I'm making money, you know,
I'm working.
I got a job, you know?
So every Friday, he would comeand he would take me out of Guadalupe,
and he was showing me different.
We'd go to clubs because I hadnever been to a club, you know what
I'm saying?
I'd never been to.
I had never done a lot ofstuff that teenagers did, and you

(41:09):
know what adults do, you know,Because I've been locked up pretty
much all my life, so there wasthings that he would take me out
here to come out here toexperience, you know what I'm saying?
Go to pool halls or clubs,dancing or whatever.
And so I was doing that every Friday.
Well, one day he was like,hey, you want to go to a Pop Warner

(41:30):
game?
You know, my.
My brother's sons and the papa.
I was like, yeah.
So we go.
Long story short, we're comingback home, and we pull up at the
stoplight, and there's a towelpulls up, and there's this girl,
and she looks at me, and Ilook at her, and we just.
We lock eyes, you know, And Ijust threw my hands up, you know?

(41:52):
And me being.
I'm.
I'm shy, you know, I don't.
I don't have that macaronilike that Mac, you know.
You know, I don't have that,you know, I. I don't have the gift
for gab, you know, I'm.
I'm.
And so I just threw my hands,and I was kind of, like, nervous,
and my.
Was like, just ask her for hernumber, you know, So I just go like
that, you know, and then she'slike, you know, she does like this.

(42:15):
So I pull in and.
And I'm like, what?
I tell her, you know, I'mtelling my.
What.
What?
I tell her.
Just ask her for her number,you know, like, all right, tell her
your name.
You know, I was like, hey, all right.
So I go, hey, my name is say,you know, like, what's up?
I get your number, and shegave me her number.
She said her name was Angela,you know, And I was like, all right,
Angela.
I. I'll give you a call, youknow, so we.

(42:38):
We left, and I ended uptalking to her, and we hit it off
pretty good, man.
And we got to know each other,and she came into this relationship
with two children.
One of them was six months,and Aiden was six months old.

(43:02):
AJ Was like four or five yearsold, you know, and so she had kids,
you know, And.
And.
And so I. I didn't have kids.
I haven't had kids, you know,and she came to this.
This relationship with twoboys, you know, so we hit it off,
you know, right off the rip.
And our first date.
I could remember that I hadtold my sister to.

(43:23):
To make us some enchiladas,some of those enchiladas, you know
what I'm saying?
And.
And if she can babysit, well,you know, and that's what she did.
She had a little table likethis right here, and she made it
like a little restaurant, youknow what I mean?
And we had a little date, meand her.
And I was still being aTravieso, though, you know, I didn't

(43:43):
know how to.
I was still working.
She was working.
She was.
She had just moved from Oklahoma.
I'm being a Travieso still,you know.
Okay, so it's 2007.
I get locked.
I get locked up, I get out.
I kill my number.
I finally kill my number.

(44:03):
2007.
I killed my number in 2007.
And me and her went.
We just spontaneously.
It was.
It was 2000.
At the end of 2007, inDecember, December 31, we just said,

(44:25):
let's go to Vegas and get married.
You know, I had never beenoutside of Arizona, been locked up
on my life.
You know, it's just.
And so, just spontaneouslywe're like, hey, okay, let's go.
So my primo James and mysister Sonia, we took them to be
our witnesses to Vegas.
We went on New year's Eve in 2007.

(44:46):
So we went up there and justbought a little cheap hotel outside
of the Strip.
And we went there with littlemoney and.
And we were just like, we'rejust for the experience, you know,
let's just go down and, youknow, try to gamble at each casino,
you know, just for the experience.
It was.
It was pretty.
Pretty nice, you know, and weended up getting married out there
in 2007.
We got to see the New Year.

(45:07):
We brought in the New Year'sof 2007.
And, you know, what shebrought to.
To the relationship issomething that I've always wanted,
you know, I wanted.
I've always wanted to be a dad.
I've always wanted to be a husband.
And she brought that.
I was.
I was given that, you know,and, well, I was.

(45:30):
God blessed me with.
Blessed me with that, youknow, and, you know, I was still
being a Travia.
So I got it together, though,after, you know, I killed my number
2007.
That means I don't have.
This is the first time in allmy life that I don't have no probation
or nothing.
I'm doing.
I'm working.
We have our house, you know,and in 2008, she gets pregnant and

(45:55):
she gives birth to my firstson, which was the most.
Most life changing experiencethat I've ever had in my life.
You know, watching my son beborn, it was such that.
God, it was a blessing, youknow, I was just.
It's something that you cannever forget, you know, like when
you see your first child be born.
It was just.
It was.

(46:15):
It's amazing, you know, it'sjust crazy.
But she gave birth to my son, man.
And that was 08.
And then in 09, she gave birthto my second son.
My first son was Angelo.
We named him Angelo.
And then in 09, she gave birthto my second son, Alonzo.

(46:42):
That was in 09.
And in 2010, we were doinggood, you know, she was working for
the bank, bank of America.
And I was working for another company.
We had a house.
I was working for a steel company.
And we're doing good.
You know, I'm not, You know,here and there, my Primo would come
and I'd go Drink with him.

(47:02):
I wasn't missing with drugshere and there.
Maybe I would deal withdabble, you know, but I wasn't.
I was doing the family thing.
I was learning how to paybills, you know, all the.
All the stresses of the world,you know, that I didn't know how
to get accustomed to, youknow, and she was helping me.
She.
She was.
You know, she was.
She was.
God said, you know, in 2010,we were in.

(47:26):
In Phoenix at my tia's house,because we had a house on the south
side in Southside, 35th, andmy DIA lived on 59th in Thomas.
And we're at a birthday partyover there, and we had a suburban
one.
It was like a 95.
It was like one of them old suburbans.
And we had, well, four of my children.

(47:47):
And we're at my tia's house,and we were going back.
We're leaving.
We're leaving my tia's house,and we got on 55th and Thomas, and
I was going east, and we're arguing.
Me and her were having an argument.
And I turn.
I turn on.
On Thomas, and I start pickingup speed, and me and her.

(48:10):
And I don't see that there'sthis car stalled out.
There's a car that stalled outright there.
And she.
See.
I guess she sees it and sheyanks on the steering column.
I try to get a hold of it, andI can't.
It just.
It's hard.
It's a big.
It's a big Suburban, you know,and it just gets out of hand, and

(48:30):
we hit a brick wall, and it flips.
I guess the wheels were in theair, you know, she died on impact.
And me, I. I got.
If you can see us, the.
Oh, yeah, the scar.
I cracked my.
I cracked my whole head.

(48:50):
You know, I walked out, I gotout of the vehicle, I crawled out
the vehicle, and one of myPrimos was.
Was right there.
One of my Primos was right there.
And he said that I said somewords, and I just fell back out,
passed back out, you know, AndI remember waking up in the.

(49:14):
In the hospital, and my dadright there, my sister, you know,
and I, I.
The first thing I remember wasjust getting wheeled into.
And my sister's telling methat I'm going into emerging surgery,
you know, because my brain was hemorrhaging.
You know, I had blood in my brain.
And so my sister said thatthey're rushing me to emergency surgery.

(49:37):
And I just passed out againafter that.
And I was there for, you know,For a couple days.
And then I guess I woke upagain and I started asking questions
like, where's.
Where's.
Where's Angela?
Her name's Angela.
And I was like, where's Angela?
Where's.
You know, and they don't.
Nobody says nothing.
Where my kids at?

(49:57):
You know, all the kids are fine.
And, you know, and finallythey finally.
They came and told me that shehad passed away, you know, and.
And I just.
I lost it.
You know, it's.
Because it's.
It's like, you know, when you.
When you go through so much asa young child in life and you finally

(50:18):
get to.
To where you feel like, okay,this is where, you know, I'm supposed
to be, you know, and thensomething just hits you like that,
you know, you're like, oh, man.
You know, like, that's.
It's.
You know, it's pretty, youknow, And I.
And.
And, you know, when I tell mystory, you know, sometimes people
are like, man, how can you.

(50:39):
How do you.
How do you.
How do you get through that?
Like, it's.
It's.
It's hard.
It was.
It was a tough one, man, like,you know, to.
Because we.
She.
She taught me so much aboutlife, you know what I mean?
Like, I got like, You know, she.

(51:03):
She was an angel.
Her name's Angela.
She.
She was.
You know, and.
And it just.
It's crazy because God.
God is good, man.
Like, I.
So I'm blessed, bro.
Like, even.
Even.
Even with the.
With the hardships that I gotgoing on right now, you know, I.
I still feel blessed, man,because you know what?

(51:26):
You know, I get locked up in2010, man.
You know, they didn't.
They don't in Tokyo.
So I lived in.
In Southside 35th.
And in 2010, that's when Ilived there.
And I don't know if you guysremember, man.
There was this.
It's when that big old falloutwhere, like, I think there was a.

(51:48):
An African American, like acongressman that had got roughed
up by the South.
By the South Mountain Precinct.
There was like, aninvestigation on.
On that precinct at that time,you know, And.
Well, at that time, I wasliving in that area, you know, and
after I lost her, man, I just.
I. I had a nervous breakdown, man.
I. I didn't know how to live.

(52:09):
Like, I. I wasn't evensupposed to get out the hospital.
I took myself because I wantedto go to the.
To the Velo.
To.
When they buried her, youknow, and so I was There, but I wasn't
all, I wasn't all there in thehead, you know, I, I, I wasn't at
all, you know, I had just lostsomebody that was the most important

(52:30):
person in my life, you know,like, my kids just lost their mom,
you know, Like, I just, it washard, you know, and, and I didn't
know how to, like, how to dealwith it, you know.
And so, you know, my family,they didn't know how to deal with
me either because it was dueto them, you know, and so they were
trying, they were trying to be helpful.
They would go and stay with me.
They would go and help melike, be food, clean house.

(52:52):
Well, one day my nana and mysister went over there and you know,
I wasn't being too nice to them.
They left.
My burglar alarm starts going off.
I don't know if, you know,like, you know, when you leave your
door open, the burger alarm,it'll go off.
So it starts going off like,like seven officers came from, from
that precinct with their gunsdrawn to my house.

(53:13):
I'm sitting out in front of myyard in a wheelchair because I have
broke my pelvis.
I had the brain hemorrhage.
So I was pretty banged up, youknow, I ripped the lining of my urethra.
I was, yeah, it was a prettybad, bad accident that I'm still
kind of dealing with some ofthe, the, the injuries from that

(53:36):
accident.
But they come with their guns drawn.
And me, I start like, what doyou guys, you know, I start talking
kind of crap, you know, like,well, you guys never seen a Mexican
in the house that has afireplace or you know, like, cuz
it had a fireplace.
It's a pretty nice house, youknow, and, and you know, I was, I
was proud of it, you know, itwas one of those things that, you
know, just those little thingsthat, that I was proud of, you know,

(53:57):
like I didn't have that inGuadalupe, you know what I'm saying?
Like, not those type of firefireplaces, you know, maybe little
trash can on or something.
But you know, so with that,like when they came and they just,
they arrested me, they, they,I started talking crap to them, you

(54:18):
know, and, and they got me andthey arrested me.
They got me for seven countsof aggravated assault on seven officers
and they got me for sevencounts of threatening, intimidating
officers with gang becausesupposedly I'm, you know, because
I'm from eastside Guadalupeand our connections to the Mexican

(54:41):
mafia are, you know, that's,supposedly, you know, I'm connected
or whatever.
That's what they're, you know,the judge and the prosecutor saying
so.
And it just made me look bad.
And I'm like, man.
And the prosecutor's like,well, I'm gonna offer you six years.
You could either take it orleave it.

(55:02):
And at that time, I'm fightingfor my children because CPS got involved,
because I had an inactivemetabolite of weed in my system.
So, like, if you smoke weed,like a week ago, it'll still be in
your system for a month.
So it's an inactive.
It was inactive in my system.
So when.
When the car accidenthappened, they found that inactive

(55:24):
metabolite in my system, sothey got involved.
So I had to start going tocourt for my children.
So I'm fine.
I was fighting for them.
And even when they arrestedme, I was still going to the courts
to fight for them.
Unbeknownst to me, I didn'tknow that.
That by me signing this pleabargain, that they were going to
sever my rights to my children.

(55:44):
And I signed, okay, my son, A.J.
i signed his birth certificate.
So I was his son legally.
I was his dad, legally.
And my two boys that werebiologically mine, those are the
ones that I was.
I had to fight for, you know,Aiden, I couldn't fight for because
his dad, he's from Oklahoma,you know, so he has.

(56:06):
He has a father, you know?
And so I was just.
I had to fight for the boys,but I didn't know that by me signing
this plea bargain, they'regoing to sever my rights.
And that's what happened.
So they severed my rights, andall my boys got spit up.
These.
These.
Okay, so these.
These years, since 2010, sinceafter the car accident, they got

(56:28):
spit up, all four of them, theboys got sp.
But, you know, my.
My two of my b.
My biologically boys are together.
A.J.
he's already older.
He's.
And it's.
It's crazy, you know, he's.
We just got in touch, and he'sa good.
Very good boy, you know, Agood man.
He's a good man.
I'm proud of him.

(56:49):
I'm Rebecca Mendez withLamplight Ministries, where I serve
the Lord by loving others.
Through biblical counselingand workshops, every day we're reminded
of our fallen world throughdisappointment, grief, fear, despair.
We need a Savior.
And in Jesus Christ, we havethat Savior.

(57:09):
He came to rescue us, offering his.
Spirit to guide us and his word.
To comfort, correct and lead us.
If you're a follower ofChrist, eager to grow in him.
I'd be honored to walk thisjourney with you through one on one
biblical counseling.
Together we'll explore God'sword, find encouragement.
And pursue faithful obedienceto our Savior.

(57:32):
Please Visit me atlamplightministries.com to book your
appointment today.
Okay, so I get locked up in2010, I go to prison and right away
they, their, the, thedepartment of Corrections is viewing

(57:59):
me, they're trying to make apacket on, on me being affiliated
with the.
So I signed that plea bargainfor six years.
So I'm going to prison for sixyears in 2010.
So I go to prison and I'm overthere in Florence and they started
a STG packet on me, an STG packet.
And I just got back to prison,you know, and what an STG packet

(58:22):
it is basically, you know,that they, they make you and tell
you the drift of an affiliatedmember of whatever, you know, whatever
prison gang.
And so that's what they were,they were affiliating me with.
And I, you know, you know, Ijust, at that time, like I had just
lost my wife, so it wasn't, Iwasn't really.

(58:44):
I was mad, I was mad at God,you know, I was, I was mad at God
for, for a good little while,you know, I, I, I didn't know how
to deal with, you know, losingher and losing my kids, you know.
Well, one day I'm sittingthere and a letter slides under my
door.
A letter slides under my doorand you know, me, me being, you know,

(59:06):
the way I was raised in there,like, you know, if it's not mine,
you don't get somebody else's mail.
You know, I'm not expecting no mail.
And I'm looking at the name onit doesn't even the, the, the address
on top where they write their name.
And I'm sender.
Yeah, the center.
There you go.
I'm not recognizing it, so I'mlike, right, But I see my name on
it.
So I pick it up and it's a letter.

(59:28):
And she's, she's like, hey,hey, my name's, my name's Pasa.
You know, and she's like, I'm21 years old, I have no kids.
You know, I'm, I just got out.
But I gave my Palavra, shegave her word to my tia that she
would write to me, that shehad, she had heard about, you know,
everything I've been through.
And she just wants to be myfriend and you know, you know, I

(59:54):
really dug that because, youknow, my tia, one of my tias, rest
in peace, she's already passed.
She's passed away.
But she was a loca too.
But she would always, youknow, send chicks to rap me, you
know, when I was in prison,she would always try to, you know,
and some they would write,some would fall off, you know, and
it was just one of thosethings, you know, and, well, she

(01:00:15):
actually wrote, you know, soto me, you know, I said a lot about
her character, you know, that she.
She was able to keep her word.
And so I wrote her back and Iwas like, you know, I'm not looking
for no relationship ornothing, you know, but, you know,
I appreciate that you keptyour word to my ti.
That says a lot about you, andI appreciate that.
I'm not looking for norelationship, but we can be friends,

(01:00:35):
you know?
And so in.
In, in.
And we wrote.
We wrote.
We wrote each other all thiswhole time throughout from 2011.
And then we became, little bylittle, we were friends.
We started off as friends andwe wrote.
I would get like maybe 10, 15letters a week.
Like, wow, the dedication a lot.

(01:00:58):
And the one thing that we didwas every.
Every letter we asked each.
We asked five questions, youknow, so we got to know each other
real, real in depth.
And she was my friend.
She became my best friend, youknow, her name is Viviana.
Vivian, who is my wife.
You better.
And.
And.
And that's where.

(01:01:18):
Where, you know, I feel likeGod, like he.
If.
If I look back on my life and.
And I just see how it allplayed out and how it's played out
up until this point, you know,I can see that his hand has been
in every.
Every part of.
Of my life, you know, and myfaith has grown tremendously, you

(01:01:43):
know, in.
In.
In him and what he.
What he did.
He died on the cross for me,you know, So a lot of the stuff that
I.
What.
What I.
What I didn't mention earlieris that, you know, I come from a
pretty big family, and my nanahad 12 kids.
Her.
My t. Had 12 kids.
My mom's mom and dad, they had12 kids.

(01:02:05):
And my nana, before she passedaway, she just.
She passed away just recently.
And.
But she.
Before she passed away, shehad buried eight of her own children.
And so my family has beenthrough that, you know, and so it's.
It's.

(01:02:26):
But I always look to her for.
Whenever I was going throughsomething in my life, I always look
to her for, like, forstrength, you know what I mean?
Because you think about, youknow, how can you, how can that woman
be so strong to, to haveburied eight of her children, you
know what I mean?
Oh, I'm just going throughthis little thing.
So then it, it, now that, youknow, my life has taken another turn,

(01:02:48):
you know, I'm starting torealize that, you know what?
But Jesus, Jesus went througha lot more for, for me, you know,
and for us, you know, like, sothat's how.
And now that's why, I mean, Ilook to that, you know, I, I, I believe,
I believe that he, you know,he endured so much for, for my sins,
you know, and, and the painand the things that I've gone through

(01:03:09):
in my life were just a part ofwhat he wanted for me, you know,
or what my life paid.
And I always tell this topeople, man, is that, you know, we're
all, you know, I've talked,talk to you about this too, how I,
how I feel like, you know,God, he's made us all unique in our

(01:03:32):
own unique way.
Like, nobody can say thatthey've been through everything you've
been through in your life, youknow what I'm saying?
Nobody can say that.
Nobody can say that they havethe same fingerprint as you.
You are your own person, like,but you're created in his image,
so it's just you and him, youknow what I'm saying?

(01:03:53):
And I feel like that's wherehe wanted us as brothers and sisters
and neighbors.
To love our neighbors is toshare your story because you're,
you're, we're, we're.
Okay.
So for me, I'm a livingtestimony of, of how he's been in

(01:04:14):
my life, you know, and, youknow, I feel, you know, we're all
family, you know, And I don'tknow, it's just, it's, you know,
I, I just, I went to prison again.
Okay, so let me get back tothis story.

(01:04:34):
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
So I ended up where I was at, okay?
So 2015, I get out, you know,in 2015, okay?
So I ended up getting STG.
That means that when you get STG.
I got STG in 2010.
So you get slammed down andyou go to SMU2, which is like a security

(01:04:56):
lockdown.
Like, we're locked down 24hours every other day, you know,
and being locked down 24, 24hours every other day in the cell
by yourself, you know, itcould take a toll on your mind, man.
And, and, and I've been doingthat all you know, all these years
that I've done in.
I've probably done.
I'm not proud of it whatsoever.

(01:05:18):
I do not.
And I want.
I want to put everybody toknow anything that I've.
I've talked about as far as,you know, all the ugliness.
I don't, I don't.
I don't praise any of that.
I don't condone any of that.
Like, you know, God, you know,he's changed so much about the way
I look at life.
And.

(01:05:38):
Yeah, so I got out in 2015 andI married her, man.
I married.
I married the girl that wasriding me.
Never her name me as that.
But yeah, she probablyappreciates her.
Her name is for sure.

(01:05:59):
And, and, hi, baby, I love you.
And no, but like, you know, she.
And that's another blessing.
Like, that's.
That's how, you know, that's.
They say that you don't.
You don't get, you know,another chance at stuff like that,
or you don't get love twice,you know, or.

(01:06:20):
It doesn't come like that, man.
But God, I gotta tell you,man, that it does.
You know, he.
He's blessed me so much.
And she's such a beautifulperson, man.
She's such a beautiful person.
And it's crazy how, like, youknow, like when you meet somebody
and.
And, you know, you get to knowthem, you know, it's just, just.

(01:06:40):
And you understand why God,like, put.
You put you guys together, youknow, like things that you have to
work out with each other, youknow, like, it's.
It's pretty.
It's pretty, pretty beautiful,you know.
And so I got out in 2015,married her.
She didn't think she couldhave kids, you know, when we first
started writing, writing toeach other, we're friends at first,

(01:07:02):
and so I used to, like, tellher I would give her advice about
some of the guys that she wastalking to out there, you know, like,
yeah, that dude sounds like ascrub, man.
Don't.
Don't mess with that dude, youknow what I mean?
Or you know what?
That dude sounds pretty too,you know, he sounds like.
He's pretty cool, you knowwhat I'm saying?
Maybe you should test him out,you know what I mean?

(01:07:23):
Or take him, you know, havehim take you to dinner somewhere.
Well, she ended up gettingknocked up, like, pregnant, you know,
and the dude left her, youknow, and so we had already been
writing to each other for agood amount of time, and I was like,
you know what?
Don't even worry about it.
I'm getting out.
I'll help you raise those kids.
And I told her that, and Imeant it, you know what I'm saying?

(01:07:44):
Because I. I don't.
You know, I. I said, I'll helpyou raise him, you know, and she
just.
She just took a liking to that.
You know, we.
We had already startedconnecting, you know, we had already
started catching feelings.
And so I got out and I marriedher in 2015.
But, okay, so she lost those babies.
She lost those.
Those twin babies.

(01:08:06):
And so she didn't think thatshe could have kids, you know, and
so when she lost those babies,you know, like, I helped her get
through.
Through that, and she helpedme get through.
Through the death of Angela,you know, the more my morning process
and.
And we're there for eachother, you know, that's.
That's what made our bond so strong.

(01:08:27):
And so she ended up gettingpregnant in 2015.
And in 2016, I was out.
She gave birth.
I seen my daughter, my first girl.
My daughter Delia, I namedafter my mom.
So it's my first girl, you know.

(01:08:50):
And in 2000, we had her.
In 2016, I get locked.
I get locked up.
In 2017, I'm out, and I'm doing.
I'm still doing kind of good,you know, I'm not getting in trouble,

(01:09:11):
but, you know, I'm out there,and I ended up getting hit by a truck
getting off the bus.
Okay, so in 2017, I get hit bya truck.
She's pregnant.
She's five months pregnant.
We already have Dahlia, soshe's five months pregnant now with
twins in 2017.
So I get hit by a truckgetting off the bus, a city bus.

(01:09:35):
And they put me on medication,and they put me on, like, all the
pain medications.
And so I started taking thosepain medications, and I started getting
addicted to the medication,you know, and when I.
When I ran out the.
You know, I went and tried togo buy some more pills from the streets,

(01:09:57):
you know, and somebody waslike, I think I had, like, 30 bucks.
And somebody was like, what doyou think you can get with 30 bucks?
Like, you're.
You only get one pill, youknow, that's crazy.
I just.
I rather just go to myneighborhood, go spend the 30 bucks
on something that's gonnahelp, you know, And I went.
And that was the dumbestthing, one of the dumbest choices

(01:10:19):
that I made at that time.
And I went and I got heroin,you know, and I started my little
adventure on that, you know,and it was.
And, like, I said earlier,like that's, that's the drug that,
that took my mom.
You know, I'm.
But for some reason, like Ijust feel like, God, like I had to

(01:10:40):
go through this experience.
I had to go through theexperience of, I don't know, I guess
being addicted and then seeingwhat the, what the love of that drug
was that had my mom soinvested in the streets and away
from her kids that, you know,she couldn't be with, with her children.

(01:11:00):
And for me, I mean that's notwhy I did it.
I mean I just started doing itcuz I was, I got addicted to it,
you know.
But I got add to heroin and,and I ended up going back.
I get locked up for 9re.
I got locked up for.
Okay, so I get addicted to heroin.

(01:11:22):
After I got hit by the truckin 2017, 18, I go, I go to prison,
okay?
Cuz they got me, they caughtme for, they got me with the grandma
heroin and they gave me nine years.
They wrote me, they put me inthe repeat offender program.
I have never been caught withdrugs in my life.

(01:11:42):
You know, I've never beenarrested for drugs.
They could have been like, youknow what, let's, let's help this
dude out.
Let's put them in a rehab or something.
They didn't do that.
They wanted.
My wife's five monthspregnant, you know, and all.
They could have just sent meto rehab.
They.
And they didn't give me nine years.
She's like.
And my wife, she's the onethat told me to sign the plea bargain.

(01:12:05):
I wasn't going to sign it, youknow what I mean?
Because it's, that's a lot of time.
And so I, I signed it.
But.
So I signed the plea bargainand they gave me nine years and,
and in 2017, so I went to prison.

(01:12:26):
I got to finally got to prisonin 18 and I went in there with a
habit.
And I gotta tell you man, thatin where I was at in Buckeye, man,
the, the yards are justinfested with drugs, man.
Days.
It's like, you're on.
It's like worse in the streets.
Like it's just so, so ugly inthere, man.
It's so bad.

(01:12:47):
Like the devil just has a hold.
He has a very strong hold onthose yards, you know.
But I like, I started doing, Ifound it like maybe about two, three
years into my sentence becauseI was, I was addicted in there.

(01:13:10):
I got real bad in there.
You see my arms are real bad.
You know, I, I Got really,really bad.
One day I'm out at Wreck and.
And there's this homie right there.
And he's like, hey, he's from.
From Flagstaff.
And he's like, hey, can I pray?
Can I pray for you, man?

(01:13:31):
I was like, you know, yeah,you want to pray for me?
He goes, yeah, just somethingtelling me I want pray for you, man.
I said, yeah, homie, you canpray for me.
He goes, I said, I don't mindkneeling, you know what I mean?
I'll kneel.
So I kneeled and we prayed, man.
And.
And something just came overme, man.
We prayed and he helped methrough the prayer, you know, giving
my life to.
To.

(01:13:51):
To God, you know, and, youknow, something just grabbed me.
It was the Holy Spirit.
It was the first time I'veever felt the Holy Spirit in my life.
I've never felt it up untilthat time, you know, and.
Oh, well, there was anothertime too.
But, you know, that, thattime, like, I just.

(01:14:11):
I knew it was.
It was God, you know, like,and all my life he's.
He's been there, you know, Iknow he's been there.
You know, I've read.
I read the Bible.
There's always been Bibles inthe joy, in the jails or everywhere
I was going, you know, and, and.
But when I gave my life to Godthat day with, with, with.

(01:14:34):
With the homie, you know, itkind of changed me, you know, so
in there, in prison, whereeverybody got to know triste and
how triste was, I. I made a.
There, you know, I went toprison and, and, and, And I'm not
proud of that.
I'm not proud of that at all.
You know, I. I hate that Imade a name for myself in there,

(01:14:56):
but that's what it was.
That's what happened.
That was.
That's, you know, myexperience, you know, and.
But I know that God, you know, he's.
He has something more for my life.
And I believe that, you know,now that I have, you know, I. I have

(01:15:18):
stage four cancer, Prostate cancer.
Long story short, again, youknow, A mixture fell on my leg.
I went to the hospital and formy leg, you know, because it was.
Was dead, like when they.

(01:15:38):
And I was just having problems.
So we went and I had told themabout blood being in my store as
well, you know, and they ransome tests and they came back and
they said that they found alarge mass in my prostate and that.
That I have.
That I'm stage four.

(01:15:59):
I have stage four cancer.
I mean, you know, it's it'sall through my spine, you know, and,
you know, the doctors, like mywife and my sister, you know, they're.
They're all.
Everybody's kind of taking ithard, and I'm just like, why, you
guys?
What's God?
God.
You guys have to believe thatGod is his hands and all this.

(01:16:22):
Like, why.
Why fear?
You know what?
I'm not fearing nothing.
I. I know that he's got me,you know, and I believe that.
That's part of my testimony,you know, that.
Because the doctor's tellingher five years, you know, okay, watch.
When the 15th year comesaround and I'm still all viejito

(01:16:43):
and all right there, you knowwhat I'm saying?
Like, I could turn around, youknow, I want to be able to turn around
and say, you know what?
That's God, you know, God.
God still had his hand in mylife all this time, you know what
I'm saying?
And I never lost that faith.
I'm not going to lose it.
It's just building.
I'm just getting stronger, youknow, and it did.
It started off as a mustardseed in my life, you know, I'm not

(01:17:05):
one of these dudes that.
That, you know, I'm not like aholy roller.
Like, I don't.
I'm not big, like, on,because, I don't know, like, verses
by heart or, like, you know, I just.
I just know the spirit.
I just feel the spirit.
And, you know, I just thankGod that, that.
That, you know, he's given melife today, you know, that I was

(01:17:28):
able to wake up this morningand enjoy today.
You know, that's how I'mlooking at, you know, day for day.
I'm taking it day by day.
I forgot to mention my twins.
How can I do that?
Because she got pregnant andshe got pregnant with twins.
And so.
Excuse me.

(01:17:50):
She.
She was pregnant with twins, aboy and a girl.
And so when I got locked up,she was five months pregnant.
So they ended up giving menine years.
I ended up doing seven years.
I just got released, like,maybe two and a half months ago,
maybe three months ago.
And like I said, I just.
We just barely found out.
I got cancer, but I got twins.

(01:18:12):
I got a little boy.
His name's Peter Emigano.
Peter and Italia.
Lisa.
And they're.
It's a boy and a girl, youknow, and they're.
They're seven years old.
They've been locked up.
I mean, I was locked up thewhole time.
They were.
Well, she had Them when I was.
When I had got locked up.
So I was in there the whole.
Their whole.

(01:18:32):
I've been in their whole time.
So this is the first year thatI'm actually going to be out for
their.
Their birthday.
They're going to turn eight.
Their birthday's on Thanksgiving.
This year, it falls on Thanksgiving.
So we're going to get to makea big Thanksgiving, you know, and,
And.
And, you know, we're going tobe able to make a good little meal,

(01:18:53):
you know, make a good turkeyand a birthday.
I want to fry a turkey, man.
I. I had fried turkey one time.
And never tried it before.
Always wanted to, but I scaredto burn down my house.
Never went back.
You.
You eat fried turkey, you'llnever go back to baked turkey.
I don't.
I don't know.
It's just my opinion.
You have fried turkey, Ben?
I have what you like.

(01:19:13):
What are your thoughts?
I overcooked it.
So you made it yourself?
Yeah, I tried it.
I tried it.
Was it peanut oil or something?
I left it in there too,because I didn't want it to be raw.
I left it a little bit longerand it was a little too crunchy.
But now I smoke the turkeysand that.
That's pretty legit, bro.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
Did you do it for a day or twoor something or just.

(01:19:34):
No, it's like slow cooking it.
Yeah.
Six, seven hours.
It's like a slow cook.
Okay.
Yeah.
Smoking it.
Smoke.
It's good, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
I don't know how to do that.
To do a Jen Saki.
Circling back, do you feellike when you were in prison and
you said you knelt down there,do you feel like that's the time
that you got saved, that youhad that personal relationship with

(01:19:54):
Jesus Christ?
Well, no, because.
Because I got this.
I gotta say, maybe about fouryears ago.
Okay.
Four years ago, like, I justhad enough.
I was in there strung out.
My wife was so, like, she was just.
I was.
I was so struck out in there, man.
I was.
It was ugly.

(01:20:15):
It was ugly.
And.
And she had to be the one outhere take raising my children, you
know what I'm saying?
Like, she.
That's why I say that.
God just.
Bless you.
Yeah, he.
There's.
There's a hand in my life.
He's had a hand in my life.
And, you know, she.

(01:20:35):
She's been.
She's been a writer, man.
She's.
She stuck it out and she now,like, you know, I'm.
We got a house and My kids,you know, and so it's just.
Now it's different, you know, us.
Sorry, I just forgot where Iwas going with it.
But you're talking about four years.
You had got.
You felt like you got savedfour years ago.

(01:20:55):
Oh, okay.
Okay, okay.
Yeah.
So.
So I was still strung out inthere and.
And I was.
I was like.
She was having to pay billsand do all kinds of stuff.
Like, not all kinds of crazystuff, but just like, I just hold
it down right by herself outhere, you know?
And me, I'm in there being aTonto, being.
Being an idiot, you know,doing dumb in there.

(01:21:16):
And I'm telling you, man,like, you guys seen like, all the
stuff when they show it on TVabout how.
How wild it was in there.
I was in there when indoorswere open like that.
Guys were walking out of theircells 12 o' clock at night, going
to other buildings, walkingaround like there's just nothing.
Like it's a dorm and it's prison.
Like, doors are supposed to belocked, you know, 12 o', clock, midnight.

(01:21:38):
It's not supposed to be.
And that's how it was.
It was really like that, man.
It was crazy.
It was.
It was like, you're out in thepark and you got your homes.
There's like 10 dudes in one cell.
Everybody around doing.
Yeah, doing drugs, walking,just living, partying.
That's all it was, you know?
And so when I.
For, like about four yearsago, I just had enough.
I was just so burnt out, and Ijust felt like, you know what?

(01:22:01):
Okay, now I understand what.
What this is about.
Like, God, you know what?
I'm done.
I completely surrendered mylife to you.
I'm done.
I'm completely done.
I no longer want to think ordo or say anything that had to do
with my old self.

(01:22:21):
I'm giving you the keys to my car.
Of my life.
It's all in your hands.
I got down on my knees and I just.
I just prayed.
And then I asked him, father,come into my life.
You know, I accept you as my.
My Lord and Savior.
You know, I know you died onthe cross for my sins.
I know that, that.
That you suffered for.
For me, you know, And I thankyou and I'm sorry that you had to

(01:22:44):
go through all that, you know,because I'm sure it hurt, you know,
like, and.
But I thank him, you know,like, he.
He endured so much, like, foreverybody, you know, and I thank
him, you know, like, I just so.
I gave my life to him that day.

(01:23:05):
And I gotta say, man, that.
Remember I told you about whenI felt the Holy Spirit, like, I tell
it to my people, jj.
And he kind of laughed at mebecause I feel like, okay, I was
laying there.
Excuse me.
When I gave.
I, I, you know, I prayed andI, I was laying there and I just

(01:23:25):
felt like, okay, you rememberthe Ghostbusters and you remember
Slimer?
How he should just be able togo to the.
So I felt like.
I just felt something likethat go like into my pants, up from
the side, like frills, like, it's.
It was just, it was weird.
I can't explain.
And I just, you know, I, Imean, I didn't.
It was nothing crazy afterthat, but I just, like, I started

(01:23:48):
just, just being so invested.
I just stayed away.
I got away from a lot of dudesthat I was hanging around with because
a lot of guys are in prisonover there where I was at.
You know, that's like everyold retirement.
You, you go to retire overthere, you know, and so a lot of
the dudes there, I knew, buteverybody's so addicted.
Everybody is just.
They're just crazy over there.

(01:24:08):
It's just nuts.
And it's.
So when I would go out towreck, I would go.
I would take my Bible and Iwould go out there by myself.
I started by myself, you know,and there was this one dude that
I knew from when I was a kidin Adobe Mountain.
You know, I seen him and hecame and he was like, hey, can I
read the Bible?
Yeah, man, come on.
So me and him would just goout there and read the Bible together.

(01:24:30):
We would have Bible study.
We'd have wrecked every other day.
So I'll go out there andeverybody would be in their little.
Doing their own things, butit's basically just everybody around
tables doing drugs, you know,So I had to just separate myself
from that and, and I wouldtake my Bible out there and I would
have.
I would have Bible study.
And it started to grow alittle bit, you know, I mean, guys

(01:24:52):
started to come little by little.
And so that was like the lastsix months that I did here.
Just like the last six months.
And you know, there was a fewguys that got saved.
Like, they, they came, theycame to Christ, you know, we're able
to bring a couple dudes to, tothe Lord.
Our little prayer group gotpretty big, you know, and, and you

(01:25:13):
know, I just pray over themguys, man, that, that are struggling
there with, with that stuff, man.
Cuz it's, it's ugly, you know,and it's sad that, you know, they
just.
The way I was just listeningto something on.
On.
On YouTube or something aboutwhat they were talking about how
DLC changed their name from,yeah, a Doc Rehabilitation.

(01:25:36):
And they put different wordsin there.
I just saw my.
My friend yesterday.
He's over there in Kingman, Arizona.
So he's in the private prisonDre or something.
But he said, yeah, theychanged the name and they put rehabilitation.
And he's like, there's nothingin there to rehabilitate you.
There's no tools.
And that's.
And that's where.
That's what kind of sucks,man, because it's re Entry rehabilitation,

(01:25:59):
reentry.
Yeah.
And, you know, like I said, Ijust got out.
I got out June.
June 23rd or July 23rd orsomething, but I've only been out,
like three months maybe, youknow, and when I get.
When you get out, they'resupposed to, like, help you be set
up with, like, food stamps orwhatever you need help with.

(01:26:23):
And they didn't give me noneof that.
So it's just like, what do you.
What do you real.
It was just.
And it.
It sucks, man.
It sucks because, you know,taxpayers are paying for.
For, you know, people to begetting rehabilitated, man.
But, you know, I've alwayssaid this all my life, is that, you
know, I had to reallyrehabilitate myself, you know, with

(01:26:43):
God's help, you know, and Ihad to find a way.
I had to ride it out, grind itout, you know, and.
And I think I. I kind offinally got it, you know, maybe not
fully yet, you know, but Godis still working on me.
He still has his hand in mylife, and that's what.
What's all I got.

(01:27:04):
You know, I. I can only hopethat, you know, there's somebody
out there that.
That, you know, going throughit or feeling like, you know what
I mean?
They can't get through it, bro.
She can get through it, youknow, I mean, like, you seek God,
man, and just give it all tohim, and, you know what I mean?

(01:27:24):
He got, you know, it's.
It's just keeping that faith,you know.
So as you shared this with ourlisteners, right, And I really appreciate
you, you know, pouring yourheart out and, you know, telling
your story, and you're reallysaying this to.
By your kids, your family,your wife, you know, your.
Your primos, even J.J. youknow, will include him as well.
You know, what would you.
As a final point, what wouldyou want to.

(01:27:46):
What would you want to conveyto, you know, the listeners of this
podcast.
You know, no, just.
Just to add, you know, what Ijust said, you know, that, you know,
in life, man, sometimes, youknow, like, we hit.
We hit.

(01:28:07):
We hit areas in your life, youknow, we hit areas in our lives that.
That we may not understand,you know, like.
Or situations that happen tous, you know, like.
Or things that happen in life,you know, there's a purpose for that,
you know, like, and.
And a lot of it is.
Is just God.
God.
God's work, what.
He's.
What he has, you know, and,you know, I just.

(01:28:32):
I just want the people toknow, you know, that God is real.
You know, Jesus Christ is forreals, you know, and he's.
He's there, man.
You know, he's not.
He doesn't forsake us, youknow, he really doesn't.
You know, He's.
He's so good and loving, youknow, I just.

(01:28:53):
I don't know.
I guess that's it, you know?
And I mean, so just to kind of.
I think it'll help, you know,reiterate the point of what you're
saying and how you said allthrough your life, you saw God working.
And I remember when I was akid, I was maybe 6 or 7, and I heard
a preacher talk, preach.

(01:29:15):
And I don't know why thisstuck with me for all these years.
I mean.
I mean, I'm 49 now, so about42 years ago, I heard this.
And because my mom, sometimes,I don't know if she, you know, crocheted,
I don't know what they callit, but it's like.
It's like a wood frame, andthey put cloth over it and it has,
like, dots and they sewthrough it, right?
And the preacher talked about,like, when he was a little boy, he

(01:29:36):
would see that, and he wouldbe laying on his mom's lap, and he
would look up and you see this.
The threads going through andall kind of threads, and it looks
ugly.
And, you know, in our.
In our eyesight that we cansee, we look up at that, we're like.
He would say, mom, that looksso ugly.
Like.
Like he thought his mom wasterrible at what she was doing, and
she finished it and she showedit to him, and he's like, wow.

(01:29:59):
Like, it looked beautiful.
It was a house, a stream, abeautiful picture, right?
But what he saw was very uglybecause he just saw the.
The knots and the ends of the bottom.
The bottom of the threads.
Yeah.
And I think that's.
That's our life, right?
And God Sees the big pictureand even the hardships, even our
sin, right.
Our consequences, he uses themin our life and paints a beautiful

(01:30:22):
picture that only he could paint.
Right?
And I just.
I get that image, too.
I just see in your life, asyou look up, you're like, man, you
know, there are a lot ofmistakes, right?
And all of us have made mistakes.
And we look at it and we'relike, how could God do anything with
that?
But he does.
I mean, you sharing yourstory, I. I believe will help others.
And we may see just the knotsand the threads and just the ugliness

(01:30:44):
of it, but God sees abeautiful picture.
And each one of us, as yousaid, right.
Has a unique picture that hepaints in our lives based upon the
things he's allowed in ourlives, the trials and the tribulation,
especially what you're goingthrough right now.
And.
And I encourage our listenersto pray for.
For Peter and, you know, justwhat he's going through and just
the awesomeness of reunitingwith your family your first Christmas.

(01:31:07):
Right.
With your kids, first Thanksgiving.
And there's going to be a lotof first.
And I pray that God gives youmany more years first with your family.
But we appreciate you comingon our podcast and sharing your testimony.
It's very powerful.
Yeah, just say thank you, bro.
It's encouraging.
I was.
I was thinking of a verseright now, just kind of what you
guys are talking about.
And.
And, yeah, I mean, that, youknow, everybody's got the.

(01:31:30):
The ebbs and flows of life,and some have it worse than I think.
You know, me and my wife talkabout this all the time, that, you
know, there's always somebodyout there that's hurting worse than
you are, and there's alwayssomebody that's, you know, broken
or there's a lot of brokenness.
You know, look, even in thechurch, like you, there's people
in the church, and there'sjust a lot of people that are broken.
There's just a lot of trialsand tribulations people go through.

(01:31:51):
But the verse I was thinkingabout was Romans 8, 28.
I mean, it's one of myfavorite verses of the Bible.
And we know that all.
All those who love God, allthings work together for good, for
those who are called accordingto his purpose.
And I think that's what it islike God.
God can take evil and makegood out of it.
He can take.
He can take a broken and fix it.

(01:32:12):
Right?
I mean, he's just.
That's what he's in thebusiness of doing.
And I think, like you said, too.
You said, you know, kind oflike we're a work in progress, right?
We're not there yet, but we're.
And we all are, bro.
Like, all of us are working progress.
But it's encouraging to see, Imean, where God has taken you from.
I mean, we started out ingrowing up in Guadalupe and, And
now you.
I mean, you are in.
In a trial right now, bro.

(01:32:32):
But, but you're looking backand saying, man, God had his hand
in my life at every step ofthe way, and he still has his hand
on my life even in yourcurrent situation.
And it's encouraging to me asa believer, as a brother, you know,
I mean, we're part of thefamily of God, right?
Praise God.
Amen.
Yeah, it's, man, it's abeautiful thing to see God working
in somebody's life, bro.
So thank you for sharing thatstory, bro.

(01:32:55):
It's.
It's heavy, bro, but it's.
But it's.
It's awesome to see how God's working.
In your life, bro.
Yeah.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you guys for having me, man.
I appreciate that, you know, I do.
I. I hope that, that my storycan help somebody, you know what
I mean?
And, and like I said, I don't.
I don't praise any of thenegative stuff that I talked about
in my story, you know, and,you know, I just hope that, you know,

(01:33:18):
somebody can find some.
Some type of encouraging, youknow, encouragement.
That's all I got.
You know, I mean, that's.
That's what, that's what PeterDaniel got.
So thank you guys for havingme, man.
Thanks for.
Thanks for coming on the show, bro.
Appreciate you, bro.
Thank you, man.
All right, From Buckeye.
All the way from Buckeye.

(01:33:39):
Well, and we just want tothank you guys for joining us for
this episode.
And just be sure to.
Be sure to like this, this video.
If it's been a blessing toyou, if this episode, this story,
this awesome testimonial hasbeen a blessing to you, please subscribe
to the channel.
Give it a, like, give it athumbs up, and we'll see you guys
in the.
In the next episode.
Yes, sir.
Next time.

(01:33:59):
Bye for now.
Thank you for listening to theAbundant Life podcast.
We pray you were blessed bytoday's episode.
Please visit us online atAbundantLife FM.
Until next time.
May God bless Sam.

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