August 27, 2025 • 63 mins
Kristi Johnson's journey of faith is a profound testament to the strength that can be derived from Jesus, as described in the key verse of Philippians 4:13, which states, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." Throughout her life, Kristi has encountered numerous adversities that tested her resolve and faith; however, with God's unwavering support, she has emerged resilient. In this episode, we delve into the transformative experiences that have shaped Kristi's spiritual journey, particularly focusing on how her faith has served as an anchor during tumultuous periods, including her struggles with addiction and personal loss. Her narrative not only highlights the challenges faced but also emphasizes the redemptive power of faith and the importance of surrendering to God's will. As we listen to Kristi's compelling story, we are reminded of the tremendous strength that faith can provide in our own lives.
Takeaways:
- In this episode, Kristi shares her powerful testimony of overcoming addiction and how God has consistently provided her with strength throughout her life's challenges.
- The key verse, Philippians 4:13, emphasizes the profound truth that we can accomplish all things through Christ, who empowers us, as exemplified by Kristi's journey.
- Kristi recounts moments from her past where she felt lost and hopeless, yet through faith, she discovered her worth and purpose in God's plan.
- The discussion highlights the importance of community and support in recovery, illustrating how sharing one's struggles can lead to healing and transformation.
- Throughout her narrative, Kristi emphasizes that even in our darkest moments, God's grace abounds and His love remains steadfast, offering hope to those in despair.
- The episode serves as a reminder that humility and surrendering to God are crucial steps in overcoming addictions, personal battles and achieving spiritual growth.
Links referenced in this episode:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Welcome to the Abundant LifePodcast, bringing you encouragement
and challenging believers tospiritual change and growth by applying
biblical principles toeveryday life.
And now your hosts, SassoMendez and Ben Arellano.
Welcome, everybody, to theAbundant Live Podcast.
(00:24):
This is episode number seven zero.
Yeah.
70 episodes in the books.
Wow.
It's a lot.
I'm here with my good friendand faithful servant in the faith,
Sasso Mendez.
Hello.
Hello.
What's up, brother?
How you doing?
Good.
How are you?
And today we've got a specialguest with us.
Once again, I feel like thisis a trend.
We.
We're.
We're interviewing a lot ofpeople, but today we have Christy
(00:45):
with a K. Welcome.
With a K. And two eyes.
Special K. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What has two eyes and can'tsee Me?
I actually.
I wear contacts.
Oh, yeah, me too.
I don't wear them, but, yeah,I need them.
This is also, by the way.
Oh, hey.
Hey, Charles.
I thought it was Charles.
Chaso, where are you at?
(01:06):
That's Ben.
Yeah, Ben, bj, Whatever.
Besso.
Oh, man, we get confused.
Often people confuse me forhim and we're often referred to as.
Yeah, confuse you, too.
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
I know.
Ben's like 5:10.
I'm 5:5.
I'm a couple of melanin shades.
I'm pretty dark.
(01:26):
You know what I mean?
So I got a smile in the.
In the night time.
But, yeah, we typically get confused.
Yeah.
No, I think people are lazy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I might be able to.
No, I don't see it.
Sorry.
They're like, oh, it's a Mexican.
It's either Ben or sauce.
So 50.
50 chance here.
Or Charles.
And Charles isn't Mexican.
Charles, Mexican.
I think I might be a littlebit, like, darker than you.
(01:48):
Like, tan wise.
Wow.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
And I'm.
I'm not.
I'm not Mexican or Hispanic oranything like that.
Yeah.
I need to get outside more.
Yeah.
Rebecca.
No doubt.
Rebecca's like a Florencefluorescent bulb.
You know, I tell her to cover up.
Oh.
Comes in handy to be.
To glow in the dark, though.
Yeah.
I can't sleep at night.
Like, get under the sheets, please.
(02:09):
You get the little.
I can't see.
What do they call them?
The little eye cover.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Razzie sleeps with them.
A sleep mask.
A sleep mask.
Does he really?
He does.
I don't know.
It's kind of weird because he has.
He has, like, blackout.
I know it's dark in there.
It's super dark.
But he still wears them Idon't know.
He takes him on vacation.
Like, I think we.
He takes them everywhere he goes.
(02:30):
I know my house.
I want blackout.
Rebecca likes the.
Because the sun comes in, Iwake up and I prefer.
Like it to be dark.
Dark.
But she's like, no, I like thelight coming in.
Yeah, we black out too.
I. I don't like light.
I can't sleep.
Well, she sleeps on her faceand has the pillow over her.
She can't see anything anyway,so I don't know what she means when
she says I can't.
(02:50):
I like the light.
Like, I've never met anybodythat puts a pillow on top of their
head.
You sure she does?
You're not doing that, like,in the middle of the night?
No.
All right.
I. I don't know how you.
How did she breathe?
No, I don't know.
Oh, no.
That's pretty wild.
I mean, like, you know, youhave the massage beds and they have
a hole in it.
(03:10):
You know, put your face in that.
And that's actually not.
That's pretty comfortable, actually.
I. I didn't mind.
I got a massage recently andit was.
It was pretty nice.
I enjoyed it and I could breathe.
But if you're just.
Yeah, I don't know.
I would.
I'm not claustrophobic, but Iwould definitely be claustrophobic
with a pillow over my head.
I'm not claustrophobic, but I just.
I don't know.
I just feel like you're.
I prefer to put the pillowunder my head.
(03:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, like 99.9 people inthe world.
Right, Right, right, right.
She's the outlier for sure.
So.
So taco talk.
We.
We talk a little bit aboutfood and maybe some things we've
consumed this past week.
Sasa, you got any.
Anything good this week?
I did have Matt's twice,because Rebecca's not here, you know,
(03:53):
so.
Yeah, Hash browns, omelette,but cheddar cheese.
Yeah, Dude, Bacon chorizo.
Yeah, we had Matt's as well.
I think once is.
No.
Did we do twice?
No, we did once.
We had Cracker Barrel oncethis week.
Well, we had mats together.
Right.
On Friday.
Right.
Oh, so.
So since last Friday.
Yeah, we pre.
(04:13):
Meal.
Correct, Correct.
Ftl.
You know, we had to get ready.
And then Sunday.
Then Sunday.
Yeah.
And then Saturday I hadCracker Barrel.
That was pretty good too.
I like.
Would you.
And Mama's Pancakes.
Mama's pancakes.
Okay.
Yeah, it's good.
Good.
Crunchy, you know, I like thema little crispy.
You know, you can put nuts inThere too.
Did you know that?
I. I think you think?
You told me one time.
I have not done that yet.
But you can get their syrup,which is 100.
(04:35):
Well, it's not 100 maple.
I think it's cane sugar plusmaple syrup.
Okay.
But it is real maple syrup.
I'm kind of a syrup snob.
That's why I like mats.
Because it's real syrup?
Yeah, it's from the tree.
Those pancakes at MATS are pretty.
Pretty legit, though.
I shouldn't have had it, but.
Yeah, it was like, I was sofull, like.
And I took a nap.
You know, he's supposed towalk after me.
(04:55):
I just took a nap and.
Right to my hips.
It was terrible.
Yeah, we did the same thing.
Well, so.
So what?
Hyperglycemia.
Yeah, that.
That's probably what happened.
Yeah.
Thanks.
So.
So what's your.
What's your poison?
What?
What?
You know, your.
All food.
All food.
Okay.
I like food.
Okay.
Anything particular?
Like a favorite, like if.
Celebration, birthday,anniversary, you know, hey, this.
(05:18):
Is, you know, death row last meal.
That too, man.
It'd probably be steak if itwas my last meal.
Steak, potatoes.
I'm not a big sweets person.
Like, not big on cakes andcupcakes and candy and all that.
I would agree with that.
You never have.
But yeah, I'm definitely steakand potatoes or meat and potatoes
kind of person.
So where.
Where are you.
(05:39):
Where are you getting steak at?
Like, you know, whatrestaurants or, you know, is there
a special place you go to for.
Oh, okay.
So you cook your.
You make your own steak.
You grill it.
Like, what.
How are we preparing this?
I marinate it.
Okay.
And then I put it in the oven.
Okay.
So like, it's like a cliffhanger.
Okay.
I marinate it.
(05:59):
Do you oven.
So do you sear it?
Do you sear it prior to theoven or do you just straight into
the oven?
No, because I probablyshouldn't be using my grill cuz last
time I left the propane on orthe, you know, that big T. Yeah.
So that wasn't great, but.
No, I used the.
Oh, crap.
Like the broiler.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Broiler.
(06:19):
Yep.
That makes it good.
Yep.
Thank.
So what.
What's your cut?
Like what.
What's your favorite cut of meat?
Whatever's on sale.
Like, I mean, the vip, youknow, fries price like one day left,
it's gonna go bad.
Right.
Starting to look a little green.
Like.
Ah.
Yeah.
I got a lot of mouths to feed, so.
Yeah, pretty much like ribeye,but you know, you have no no limitation
(06:41):
here.
What are you.
You're going to steak 44?
Yeah.
What are you ordering?
I can picture in my head.
Can't think of the name of it.
It's the most tender cut of meat.
I've only had it once in mylife, though.
The.
Like, filet mignon.
Yes.
Thank you.
Okay.
With the bacon wrap, you know, really?
Bacon would ruin it.
I like bacon.
Like, crispy by itself, butnot on.
Not on your steak.
(07:01):
No.
They typically wrap it right.
I mean, it's.
Because it's a little.
It's a little filet, and they.
They typically.
It's pretty thick, pretty fat.
I don't care for filet mignon.
It's a little too.
There's no fat in it.
It's a little bit lean.
Yeah.
Diane used to love that, andthen I got her turned on to ribeye,
and ribeye is just.
It's like a pork steak.
I love a pork stick.
Well, it's just.
There's so much fat in it.
(07:22):
It's marbled, and so.
It's just so juicy.
It's so good.
How can you chew that?
Like, it's.
It just slimy.
I'm a texture person.
I can't do that.
It kind of just melts.
Yeah.
Rebecca cannot stand fat.
No.
She gives it to me, and I'm like.
I cut it all off.
Depends how it's prepared, too.
You know what I mean?
Like, it could be chewy fat orit just.
But if you cook it right,like, it just.
(07:42):
I feel like it's a challenge, though.
Like, I'm going to win withthe fat.
I just keep chewing andchewing it, chewing it.
Like, we'll see what's up.
Right, Right, right, right, right.
The jaws hurt.
It's still tasty.
But I always say, Texasroadhouse, for the money, you can't
beat it.
Yeah, Texas roadhouse is good.
Outback's pretty good.
It's expensive.
I'm not a big Outback person.
(08:03):
Yeah.
I think I want to say I'vebeen there maybe once, but I don't
know.
I mean, one time I went toDenny's with Matt, and I asked the
guy, like.
Cause I used to back in theday get T bone steak.
So I asked him, how's your T1C?
He goes, all these are premiercuts of meat.
Wow.
He brought me the steak, andthere's an old bone.
There was no T bone.
(08:23):
It was, like, in the shape ofan O, like this big.
It was the worst piece of meatI've ever had.
Well, you were at Denny's, Right?
Yeah, but you remember like amemory for you, and then you, you
get to be an adult or you getolder and you're just like, yeah,
well, what was I thinking atthat time?
Like, this is, you know, thisis weird.
(08:46):
Why would I wear like aquagreen, you know, whatever shorts,
you know, just.
Yeah, it was cool, but I don't know.
Yeah, that was a faux pas.
Well, Matt's the one that wantto go to Denny's.
I'll never want to go to Denny's.
Never.
But Rebecca likes this newDenny's over here and said it's good.
She said, what do you guys get?
I don't get anything because Idon't go with her.
She goes with her friend.
(09:07):
Oh, I got you.
I go to Matt's.
I mean, what is Matt's, by the way?
I've never heard Breakfast.
Matt.
Matt's Big breakfast.
Yeah, it's.
It's pretty much like allnatural, all organic.
Everything's homemade.
Like, it's really good food.
It's not like real butter,real syrup.
Yeah, like stuff cooked inolive oil, like not, you know.
(09:27):
Yeah, yeah.
So bio organic.
Do you mean like it grows inthe ground like all.
Yeah, they use local vegetables.
They.
They use local farmers herein, in Arizona.
As far as cage free eggs,which I don't, I don't.
Sorry, I don't care.
You know, whatever.
Right, yeah.
Yeah.
But talking about speakingabout eggs, I mean, you kind of got
us on the topic now.
So you.
You raise chickens and you,you have.
(09:49):
Have a lot of eggs?
I actually have some of themost spoiled chickens probably in
the state of Arizona.
Well, you bring them to ftl, so.
Yeah, that's pretty spoiled.
And I think those are the bantams.
Was it one time that you, you,you bathed your chicken like you
took them a bath?
Well, yeah, they have to.
I have.
I have this chicken.
I call her Ms.
Fuzzy Britches because of thetype of chicken that she is.
(10:12):
She looks.
She just looks like a puffball.
And she gets really messy whenshe eats watermelon.
It gets all in her watermelon.
Wow.
I'm telling you, my chickensare spoiled.
Those eggs are going to be bomb.
No wonder you're buying theVIP steak from fries.
You got to feed them chickens.
Seedless.
Please.
Chickens love.
(10:33):
What?
Wow.
Yeah.
What?
They're little cannibals.
Oh.
You know how great a chickenwould taste if all they fed was eat?
All they ate was chicken?
Like if a pig just ate pig.
Wow.
Interesting.
Phenomenal.
Never thought about that.
It's like putting bacon on aham sandwich.
Delicious.
Wow.
Wow.
Cordon bleu.
(10:55):
Interesting.
Wow.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
So one chicken dies.
You can feed them to the restof the chickens.
Oh, no.
Because I know.
Because once they're.
They die, it's usually they'relike old age or.
I'm not sure why they died, soI'm not gonna risk that.
Oh, they have a disease orsomething, maybe, or.
Yeah.
Something wrong with them.
Well, one time at ftl, we hada lot of kids at.
(11:16):
And so my son.
My wife said, you know, shepaid him to come watch the kids.
And she.
He said, I walked in there andthere's kids, a baby and chickens.
Like, what just happened right now?
Like, what's going on?
It was a hamster last time.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Super soft hamster.
Do you wash him as well?
No, he does his own littlesand baths.
(11:39):
Telling my animals are really spoiled.
Yeah.
Put them out in the rain.
You know what I mean?
Where they go in the rain,too, but then they get in the mud.
Okay.
They roll around.
Chickens roll around in the dirt.
They give themselves dirt baths.
So you have a pretty big lot,or your neighbors appreciate your
chickens?
They do because I share eggswith them.
Okay.
I. Yeah.
So you, You, You.
I kind of bribe them.
So you have.
You must have a rooster, Iassume, right?
(12:01):
Unfortunately, we do.
He's a bantam.
His name is Bingo.
And he.
He doesn't know what time ofday he's supposed to crow.
And he lives inside becauseI'm not.
I live in the city limits, soI can't have him outside.
Okay.
He's a nuisance.
Okay.
I love him to death, but he'sa nuisance.
2 o' clock in the morning.
He's anytime.
2 o' clock in the afternoon.
(12:21):
2 o' clock in the morning.
Peter betrayed the Lord again.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
He's going off.
Yeah, his.
His.
His internal clock's prettymessed up.
I wonder.
I wonder what happened.
It is.
And you gotta take him to theRolex shop, bro, and get that thing.
I know you gotta get reorganized.
But he's only about this big.
And this is about as big ashe's ever gonna get.
Okay.
And he thinks he is about this big.
Oh, yeah.
(12:42):
I think that's kind of the,you know, whole rooster thing, right?
I mean.
Yeah.
Yeah.
El.
I think I'm like 5, 10, 2.
But reality not.
But he's too young still.
So he doesn't make the eggs fertilized.
So that's good.
So, okay, so we have chickensand we have hamsters.
So what else do we have?
(13:02):
Rats.
Okay, so you raise rats orjust like you have pet rats?
Well, my kids already live inthe hood.
Like, I have cockroaches and Igot rats.
So we name that jump the fenceand steal stuff.
Ratatouille.
Ratatouille.
And Maryvale, we had rooferettes.
(13:24):
Not us, but the neighbors.
And they used to run around.
You could see them running onthe back fences.
Is that what a roof?
That's what.
They're huge.
They look like cats.
So the other day, citrustrees, bro.
I'm sitting in the backyardand I'm on the phone and I look up
and right across the fence, Isee something running.
It was kind of.
It was kind of dark though,and I saw something right, and run
across.
I wonder if it was a roof rat.
Could have been.
We've had squirrels before.
We have rabbits in the backyard.
(13:45):
They just come.
There's a bunch of rabbits inour neighborhood.
They love citrus trees.
I love them.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
So those.
Those are wild though.
Those aren't like you bought.
No, no.
So what happened was.
Okay, the second time.
I think I've said that already.
Good stories.
So we had snakes.
At one point we had ball pythons.
Two of them.
Okay.
And they eat rats, right?
(14:08):
Live rats.
And when they were eating the.
About the medium sized one,they got that big and they decided
they were gonna stop eating.
One of them got sick.
The other one, I don't know,she just didn't want to eat.
And we had gotten annoyinglygot a male and a female rat.
And when the snakes didn't eatthem, they were together in the box.
And then we had baby ratlets.
(14:28):
I called them ratlets.
Wow.
Yeah.
And so that's what started our.
My kids breeding of the rats.
Very white.
And bam.
There you go.
Strangers.
Yeah, my first.
I know that's very white.
Sorry.
Do not disturb.
So, okay, so.
(14:49):
So that's where I learnedabout Dumbo rats versus, like regular
rats.
Wow.
What's a Dumbo rat?
They look like Dumbo.
You know Dumbo, the old movie?
Floppy ears, big ears.
They're bigger in size andthey have big ears, but they're a
lot sweeter than the regular rats.
They don't bite.
So that's what you startedproducing, was the dumbo rats?
(15:09):
Yeah, and we got rid of thesnakes because I don't like snakes
and I don't like feeding.
You kept it, but you kept the rats?
Yeah.
Now we have, like, a wholeplantation of rats.
I don't know what you call them.
There's a ton of them.
They live in different cages.
We just had a litter that was born.
They all died.
So I felt really bad for them.
Yeah.
So I actually bought her threebaby rats that she.
(15:30):
She took in as her own, like, adopt.
So it is like ratatouille?
Yeah, pretty much.
Pretty much.
Except they don't run aroundthe house.
So you don't sell the rats?
I do.
Okay, so you sell them to,like, David.
Yeah.
Actually, he has bought a lotof our rats.
Resurrection reptiles.
Wow.
Okay.
Giving you a shot out here.
Oh, wow.
He didn't pay for a spot, though.
No, no spot.
Not kennel air.
It's all good.
It's all.
No, no, no.
(15:51):
Yeah.
Okay.
So you kind of supply him andyou're closer than where he usually
goes.
Every once in a while.
Okay.
I have too many, like, 20s and30s of rats, and I'm like, hey, David.
One is too many for me,myself, personally.
That's what my mom thinks, but.
Okay.
So we have ball pipe.
So no more ball pythons?
Nope, got rid of those.
I bartered them, actually, for chickens.
(16:13):
Okay.
That's how I got chickens tobegin with.
I bartered.
What is a snake worth?
How many chickens is that?
I ended up getting fivechickens and a giant Flemish rabbit
for two ball pythons.
So we will do Bitcoin.
We do pythons for chickens.
I like it.
(16:33):
Okay, so we got a.
Now we got a rabbit.
Okay, so what else do we have?
I have a dragon, and he haswings, so therefore I call him a
dragon.
He has a leash.
He's a bearded dragon, but hehas a leash.
And that has wings on it.
Okay.
Yeah.
He.
He's awesome.
I thought that was funny whenwe went to Mexico and there were
guys walking around with thebearded dragons.
And, like, people would walkup and they would pay for a picture
(16:56):
with the.
So do you do that?
Do you take, like, photo boothwith the bearded dragon?
No.
You gotta.
There's a business opportunity.
Just saying.
Yeah.
Tempe Town Lake.
And, hey, I could just open upa petting zoo.
Just walk around with them.
Yeah, exactly.
Have a petting zoo in my backyard.
True.
And I do have a corner lot, soit has a bigger backyard.
Okay.
The house is very prettysmall, but the backyard's a lot bigger.
(17:17):
So do you have any, Like.
I have dogs.
Oh, okay.
I was gonna say, do you haveany normal animals?
Like.
Like a dog?
Okay.
Three dogs.
Three dogs.
Okay.
No cats?
No.
They would Be dead by now.
What about just one animal ata time?
Like.
Well, we got one at a time.
I know, but you have three dogs.
Yeah, well, we had one firstLily, and then Lily needed a friend,
(17:38):
so then we got Max, and thenLily died, so then Max needed a friend
because he was sad.
And then we got Rosie, andthen there was my friend posted on
Facebook about this litter ofdogs that was going to be euthanized
by the owner, taken out andshot, basically.
And I saw how cute they were,and I was like, I'll take one.
(18:02):
I wasn't allowed to have a lotof pets as a.
As a child, and rightly so.
My.
My brother and my dad werehighly allergic, and I kept bringing
home strays because I wantedto save them.
So as an adult, I said I wasgoing to get a lot of animals.
That is a lot of animals.
It's a lot.
You know, I think I would.
If I was raising animals, Ithink I would want to raise, like,
a cow, because, you know, youcould get some beef out of that,
(18:24):
you know, make some tacos or,you know, steak, brisket.
I mean, I love brisket.
Technically, I could eat thechickens, but they all have names,
so I think there's a ruleagainst that.
You can't eat something, butthey're still.
Producing eggs, so they stillhave value.
Yeah, they're an asset.
They're an asset.
They're not alive.
That's why they do eggs,because they're like, don't kill
me.
I'm still doing it.
Wow.
I'm still giving you golden eggs.
(18:45):
And I think you said, I have amouse, too.
Oh, a mouse.
Long story.
She's a singular mouse.
She was nursing some baby micethat we got, because instead of giving
us baby rats for the mommyrat, they gave us baby mice.
And so then we needed a mom tofeed the mice, and then the mice
died, except for her.
So now we have a pet mouse.
What do you feed that?
(19:07):
They have mouse food.
Really?
I know.
Like what?
So does the mouse, like, kindof hang out with the hamster?
Do they chill like.
No.
The rats?
Do they.
Can they all intermingle, ordo they.
You got.
No.
Okay.
You separate them.
They're separated.
Would they eat each other?
The rats will eat the mice andprobably the hamster.
Wow.
The rats will eat the hamster.
Yes.
Sounds pretty big.
Wow.
All right.
(19:27):
They're.
Most of them are dumbos, sothey're huge.
Wow.
Okay, that happens.
It starts working.
I was like, prison segregation.
There's races, rats, the mice,the hamsters.
Hamsters like to be alone.
Join us Friday night at ftl.
We will have rats this Friday.
Yeah.
No, I told the kids, look at that.
There's a kitchen and there's.
They can't bring the rats.
(19:47):
They've tried.
And I was like, no, nope.
I would like.
I'd love to see Denise jump upa little bit.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
You'd be like, ratatouilleback there cooking, bro.
He's making some.
What is that?
What's the dish that he made, man?
I can't remember what it's called.
It's called ratatouille.
Oh, it's ratatouille.
That's right.
That's the dish.
That's right.
Hence the name, you know.
(20:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good times.
Yeah.
All right.
You want to get into content?
Yeah, let's.
Already not listening.
Yeah, we probably lost people.
That's okay, though.
That's okay.
Before you get into thecontent, let's just.
I want to let everybody knowwe are at AbundantLife FM.
You can find us there and youcan view our show notes, you can
see our previous episodes, andamong other things, we have food
(20:30):
recommendations there.
Although I have not updatedthose in a while.
I think I need to get downthere and update.
There might even be some thataren't even open anymore, I don't
know.
And maybe some we need to add.
Maybe some we need to remove Graziano's.
Yeah, I know.
I miss Graziano's.
Like, Like, I was pretty sadthe other day.
I was driving by because I wasat Freddy's house and, I mean, I
was just sad.
I saw, like, it's a pizzerianow, but.
Love you, Keith.
(20:50):
I don't know.
Dude added me on LinkedIn, man.
I'm funny.
It was like a nostalgic placefor us.
Did you ever go to Graziano?
Nope.
If you did, you would knowthat was good.
We're on social media.
You can find us on Facebookand Instagram and we are.
Oh, and YouTube.
And so if this episode is a.
(21:10):
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Is going to be a blessing,hopefully it's going to be a blessing
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Would you just go ahead andhit that, like, button and subscribe
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You will be notified when wedrop a new episode.
Hi, my name is Nicole Mercado,co founder of Canaloo Air.
We are a Christian familyowned H Vac and plumbing contractor
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(21:30):
And light commercial servicesfrom AC maintenance.
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We've got you covered.
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(21:54):
canalooair.com that'sC-A-N-I-L-U.com and remember to stay
cool with Canaloo.
And I think that's it.
So with that, Sasa, I thinkyou have our key verse.
So we do.
This is the old King JamesEnglish, so forgive me if you don't
roll with the King James.
But the verse tonight Christiepicked is I can do all things through
(22:15):
Christ which strengtheneth me.
Found in Philippians 4:13.
So Christy will let you havethe floor.
And why does this verse.
How.
Why is this verse so impactfulto you or meaningful to you?
Because that is basically thisstory of my life about how God has
(22:35):
given me strength and how hehas rescued me from so many different
times in my life where Ishouldn't even be here today.
But the biggest one was when Iwas in my addiction and he.
He pulled me out of addiction.
But I guess I can go back tothe beginning.
(22:56):
Okay.
Because back in the beginning.
So I was born in the mid-80s,we'll call it like it.
Biological mom was 16.
Biological dad was in hisearly 20s.
And it was a really bad situation.
I was not being taken care ofand I was passed around from family
member to family member.
(23:18):
There was abuse from mymaternal grandfather, and by the
age of two, I was put up foradoption, which was a blessing.
But, you know, I. I don't knowhow much you guys know about bonding.
When you're a child or aninfant, one of the biggest periods
of time where you need to bondwith your parents is between like
(23:41):
six months and two years old.
And I didn't have that.
Excuse me.
And I didn't realize howimportant that was until obviously
later on in life.
But my parents were amazingthat adopted me.
Okay, obviously.
And was raised in a.
In a Christian home.
I was raised with an olderbrother who was also adopted.
(24:05):
And, you know, it was churchevery Sunday, not optional.
We'd go to Awanas.
I was in Pioneer Girls too,you know, on Wednesdays.
Chums and chum.
Chums and guards or.
Yes, yes, yes, I forgot aboutthat one.
We did that one, too.
Nope.
Sparky, That's.
I mean, you know, Sparky.
Then you become a chum and youbecome a guard, and then you go into.
(24:28):
I Forgot all those names.
Sometimes I can roll a dust.
But no, I love Rolodexes.
They don't ever.
You don't ever lose power on those.
It's a roller decks.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding.
I was born in 70s, late 70s,late, very late 70s, mid to late,
late.
(24:50):
But you know, I.
Growing up, I never reallyfelt like I fit in, like I belonged.
I always had that piece of methat felt like it was missing and
it wasn't.
It wasn't Christ, because Iaccepted Christ into my life at five
day club when I was four years old.
And did you, did you know atan early age that you were adopted?
Yes.
Okay.
My parents always told me, soI always knew.
(25:12):
Okay.
And I think I.
And, and this is not.
I think it was right that theytold me 100.
I wouldn't have wanted it anyother way.
Okay.
But the, the information thatI wanted, they wanted me to wait
till I was an adult to get,and I wanted it now because, you
know, that's how I roll.
(25:33):
Right.
But we'll get to that onelater on.
But I went to, like, missionstrips when I was in middle school.
I was the epitome of a nerd.
I had braces, glasses, netgear, had like one really good friend,
which is good because I justneeded that one really good friend.
And, you know, I got made funof for that.
(25:54):
I got made fun of for being adopted.
And by the time I got intohigh school, we started going to
missions trips in Mexicoinstead of, you know, downtown Modesto,
taking graffiti off the walls.
But I always.
I always felt like I belongedwhen I was doing those missions trips.
I always felt like I fit in.
(26:15):
I didn't feel like there wasanything missing, you know, in school
where they make you write,like, stories.
All of my stories actuallyhave all of my stories that I wrote
because my mom saved them.
They are all about someone orsomething that didn't feel like they
fit in, didn't feel like they belonged.
And then by the end of thestory, they had their happy ending.
(26:35):
And it was.
It was interesting to go backand read those.
And even though I had a reallyclose relationship with my.
As close of a relationshipwith my parents as I could have,
but I didn't have that, thatinitial bonding with them.
So it was a little morestrange than I feel like it would
have been if I was born from them.
(26:57):
I don't know if that makes sense.
And I started working in highschool, like two jobs while going
to school and I was in, youknow, track and cross country and
I always wanted to be out ofthe house.
I wanted to be independent by myself.
I didn't feel like I fit in,but yet I wanted to be alone.
(27:17):
Yeah, just didn't make sense.
And then I had a prettytraumatic thing happen to me when
I was 17.
So growing up in a Christianhome, there's like three things,
three major rules.
One is you don't have sexbefore marriage.
The second one is you don'tget divorced.
And the third one is you don'tdo drugs.
Those are like the three main,main ones.
(27:38):
And I had planned on, youknow, being, saving myself till marriage.
We had that true love weights thing.
I had a, a ring.
And that was taken from me,that, that choice was taken from
me.
And the guilt and shame that Icarried from that was unreal.
And I didn't tell anybodybecause I didn't want them to think
(28:02):
differently of me.
And it ended up where I fellin love with the guy and I didn't
want to ruin his life bysaying anything because I knew if
I said something, my parentswould have filed charges.
He was in his early 20s and Iwas 17.
And so I did my best to run.
(28:25):
I became an EMT at 18, startedworking EMS.
We had a really bad call wheretwo of the firefighters in our town
were killed or one was killed,the other one was severely injured.
And I held a lot of guilt fromthat too.
So I'm 17, 18 years old,holding on to all of his guilt and
shame and not wanting to talkabout it and thinking that people
(28:51):
aren't going to understand.
So I ended up joining themilitary to get out of our town.
I joined the Navy first.
And that didn't work out.
So I got sent back home and.
And it wasn't because Icouldn't hack it.
It was long story.
But I ended up joining thearmy afterwards after working at
(29:13):
the fire department.
But I had such a low selfesteem of my.
I had such a low self esteem,I hated myself.
I had such guilt and shamethat I became this person that I
didn't even recognize in thesense of any guy that showed me attention.
I was all for it.
And most of the time it wasreally bad attention.
It was negative and it was, Iwas being used because I was so naive
(29:36):
still that I didn't understand.
And I was running from God tooat this time because I figured he
would be ashamed of me toobecause, you know, I, I, you know,
wasn't married when, when Ihad sex for the first Time, and I
wouldn't call it that, but I met.
(29:59):
Well, when I got to my dutystation when I was in the army, they
send you through reception andthere is this person who's a sergeant
first class that you'resupposed to talk with and he's supposed
to show you around and he'ssupposed to be somebody that you
can trust, right?
Yeah, he wasn't.
And I wasn't going to letsomebody get away with it a second
(30:24):
time.
So I, I said something that time.
And it turned out that womenfrom past the statute of limitations
were coming forward.
After I came forward on that.
One problem was had to gothrough a court martial.
And that was worse than theincident itself, having to testify
against him.
But there was five of us, andthat was kind of like the downward
(30:49):
spiral of my military career.
I ended up getting pregnantand I married the guy as my first
ex husband and he got deployed.
I was taking care of ourdaughter and we grew apart.
Things happened.
(31:09):
I moved us out here to Arizonabecause we were both in.
Stationed in upstate New Yorkand we had a son and I had back problems
from being in the military.
Oh, let me go back to being inthe military.
That's where I started myalcohol addiction big time.
(31:30):
Because I was trying to coverup my, my guilt and my shame.
And so I didn't drink to have fun.
I drank to blackout.
I drank to not remember,because if I didn't remember, then
it didn't happen.
And I couldn't feel guilt andshame for something that I couldn't
remember.
So I quit drinking, obviously,with the kids, and moved out here.
(31:55):
And I had a doctor that wasprescribing me Percocetin, like candy.
That was back in the day whenthey were doing that.
And that's when I discoveredthat that medication made me feel
nothing too.
And I didn't have a hangover.
I didn't get the physical addictions.
I mean, I liked it and Iwanted it and I took it too much.
But when I stopped, I didn'thave the withdrawal.
(32:18):
And I would start and stopthat because the doctor quit the
practice anyway.
I ended up getting divorced.
So now I've kind of broken twoof the rules already.
And my mom actually took hisside because he had told her some
untruths about the divorce.
And I finally came clean withher about that.
(32:40):
And so I felt like I hadsomebody on my side.
But in the marriage, I feltlike I belonged.
I felt like I had purpose.
But my.
My relationship with Godwasn't strong.
I started Drinking again.
After that divorce, it wasreally tough trying to get on my
feet and take care of the kidsby myself and basically starting
(33:04):
over from scratch.
And I ended up having anotherkid in between because I'm still
looking for love in all thewrong places.
And let's see, it was actually before.
Before I had her, I wasdrugged and raped.
And then I met her dad and hada third kid.
(33:28):
And during the time I waspregnant with her, I met my second
ex husband.
I went from bad to worse in mymarriages because I was not.
My relationship with God wasnot there at all at this point.
And I was still doing the.
(33:49):
Any guy that gave me showed meattention, here I am.
Okay, you showed me attention.
That makes me like me.
And I was still very immature,I guess, when it came to two men.
And I was going to hold on tothis marriage because I didn't want
it to fail.
(34:10):
But he introduced me to theworld of hard drugs.
I started a meth addiction, Istarted a heroin addiction, fentanyl,
anything I could get my hands on.
Because I discovered that Ididn't feel and I didn't care that
I didn't feel.
And I didn't have thosefeelings of guilt and shame and hating
(34:33):
myself.
At first that came, but therelationship was abusive mentally,
emotionally, physically.
It's the first time in my lifeI've had a gun put in my face, finger
on the trigger.
And it's funny, my life didn'tflash before my eyes.
(34:53):
My kids lives did.
And I was pregnant at the time.
And he said, I hope youmiscarry, it's the neighbor's baby.
And I ended up miscarrying anda lot of other really not great things
happen.
And I ended up taking him backbecause that cycle of abuse, you
(35:16):
know, you get the honeymoonphase and then they tell you everything's
gonna be different.
And they seem like it's gonnabe different.
And it's never different.
And it took me two kids later.
Well, I was on my second pregnancy.
So when I was pregnant with myyoungest daughter, I finally had
the courage to leave.
He was already on his nextrelationship, or he at least was
(35:41):
thinking about it.
And then I was on my own again.
And once again I've hadanother failed marriage.
Now I have a drug addictionthat's on and off.
And I spent all of 2018destroying my life.
I had gone to nursing school,I'd graduated nursing school.
(36:02):
I had five kids at this point.
And I was throwing my life away.
My dad was dying and my momand my dad moved out here.
And I found out that what mydad had wasn't what he was diagnosed
with.
He ended up having autoimmuneencephalitis instead of early onset
(36:22):
dementia, which is curable ifyou catch it in time.
And I couldn't handle my ownlife, much less watching my dad die.
And I was a terrible daughterat the time.
I was not helpful to my mother.
I was not taking care ofmyself, not taking care of my kids.
(36:45):
And I couldn't handle watchingmy dad go.
And by the end of 2018, all mykids were removed from my custody.
And rightly so.
Rightly so.
But that was what started meon the path to my rock bottom.
Because that wasn't quite myrock bottom, but it was my, hey,
pay attention.
Things are getting bad.
(37:07):
And I tried at that point,when my kids were removed, I tried
really hard, really hard to quit.
I'd go.
I was suicidal.
I would go into.
To detox.
And I detox for a coupleweeks, get out, and start right back
on it.
Because I couldn't see my lifebeing sober.
I could not picture whatsobriety was anymore.
(37:28):
And I couldn't.
My.
My brain, Satan, was tellingme, you can't live without this,
and you can't live with it,but you can't live without it.
And I finally, you know, fellflat on my face.
I was like, God, you gottatake this from me somehow.
This is not what you want formy life.
Like, nobody.
(37:49):
Nobody's life should be likethat, you know?
And I was lying about my drug use.
So I was misdiagnosed as bipolar.
One of those things thatyou're not supposed to be diagnosed
with any new mental healthillnesses unless you're like a year
clean.
But I lied to them and waslying to everybody and telling them
(38:09):
I didn't have a drug addiction.
So my dad passed away threedays before my birthday in 2019.
I was high at his funeral,falling asleep in the front row with
my mom and I. I got theopportunity to hold my dad's hand
(38:30):
when he passed away.
But then the guilt and shamecame from not being there for him,
from not for not being therefor my mom, for not being a better
daughter, a better person,better mom.
And in this May 14, 2019, Isaid, all right, God, I'm done.
(38:50):
I can't do this anymore.
But I overdosed myself on theway to the hospital, and I was Narcan,
and they saved my life.
Unfortunately, I was awake forit, but, you know, I kind of.
That helped me remember whereI didn't want to be.
And I spent the next severaldays puking every 15 minutes like
(39:13):
clockwork.
I was in an adult diaper and Iwanted to remember every minute of
it because I didn't want to doit again.
Because I knew that when Ididn't remember, I would go back
to it.
And I went to rehab at the VA.
I did a 90 day program in 30 days.
When I said, when I want to dosomething, I don't do it halfway,
(39:38):
especially when I've asked Godto help me do it, It's I'm all in.
And the one thing that I askedGod when I was in rehab, sorry, I
asked if he got me through it.
I asked him to, to let meshare my testimony, to help other
(39:59):
people that are in the samesituation as me.
Because at this point, inrehab, I'm facing losing my kids
permanently.
I am facing homelessnessbecause I don't have an income.
I spent took a year off ofwork so that I wouldn't get in trouble
that didn't work.
And I knew that when I got outof rehab, which once I did, I had
(40:20):
a huge pile of shenanigansthat I needed to get out of or work
my way out of.
And by shenanigans I meanconsequences for my sin.
Because yes, God loves me andyes, he is so merciful and faithful,
but I also have consequencesbecause he is a good father and he
(40:42):
disciplines those he loves.
And so I had to deal withthose consequences.
And there was a lot of them.
Are you looking to apply God'struth in a practical way to your
everyday life?
Stay in the Fight is a weekdaydevotional written by Sasso Mendez.
This short 3 minute read looks at.
A verse of scripture andapplies it.
To life in a very real andtransparent way.
(41:05):
Sasa's blog style writing ishumorous, relatable, and a great
way to align your thoughtswith God's word.
Visit StayInTheFight onlineand subscribe to get notified by
email when it releases each weekday.
Stay in the Fight is a greatway to keep God in your focus and
it's easy to share with others.
(41:25):
That's StayInTheFight online.
And at one point, let's see,2020, I was facing severance.
My my first ex husband wasfiling for severance of my rights.
Okay, I might cry during thistime and it's not crying because
(41:45):
I'm sad, but crying becauseGod is so good and faithful.
So February 10th of 2020,which is actually my birthday, I
tried to kill myself because Ididn't think I could do it anymore.
And I took 90, lithium, 60,suboxone, and all the propranolol
I had in my house.
(42:06):
And I drank alcohol with itbecause I wanted it to work.
And I said goodbye to mybrother who lives in New York.
And he saved my life becausehe called my mom and told her that
she needed to either come overto my house or call 911 or whatever.
And that saved my life.
I woke up in the ICU four dayslater and I almost died.
(42:32):
I had to have multiple roundsof dialysis.
My lithium level was over 6.
I had been saving up the medsbecause the VA kept sending them
to me and I wasn't bipolar andthey'd send me three months worth
of lithium.
So as soon as I got that,that's when I took it all.
(42:53):
And I had a guy from the VA come.
This guy didn't know me from Adam.
And he's like, you know what?
What is wrong with you?
I said, what do you mean,what's wrong with me?
He's like, you only get oneshot at this life.
What are you doing?
You still have your kids.
You keep pulling stunts likethis, you're not going to have them.
(43:13):
And it was at that point thatI realized, oh, yeah, I'm still messing
up.
It may not be the same messups I'm still messing up.
And my ex would tell me,people don't get off those drugs,
yeah, you're doing okay rightnow, but you're never gonna get off
of it.
Multiple times he told me thatfamily court said that I could work
(43:36):
my relationship back with my kids.
My son, my oldest son.
He agreed to do therapy with me.
My oldest daughter did notwant to.
She wanted nothing to do withme at the time.
And she actually wrote aletter to the judge that I read.
And it was heartbreaking, butit was honest and I appreciated that.
And I had.
I wasn't mad at her at all.
(43:56):
It opened my eyes to how,like, I had made her feel.
And I kept doing the nextright thing, trying to asking God
to guide my steps.
And I was still holding on tosmoking at this point too.
But I told God I could do onething at a time because I was so
(44:19):
overwhelmed.
Told my mom that too.
She's been harp.
She was harping on me for along time about smoking.
But I was at therapy with myson and it was the week of the severance.
And the therapist was like,okay, so I'll see you on Thursday.
I said, no, that's the.
That's the day of the Severance.
(44:42):
She goes, okay, I'll see you Thursday.
I said, no, I have court.
He dropped the severance theweek of it, because I was doing the
right thing and I was doingthe therapy that I needed to do.
And I was, you know, God was.
God was doing.
It wasn't me.
(45:03):
Tell you what, if it was me,I'd be back using again.
But my daughter wanted nothingto do with it.
She wanted to be adopted byher stepmom.
And God was there.
And God held me when I madethe decision, after lots of therapy
and prayer, to voluntarilysign my rights away, because that
(45:25):
was what she needed.
So for the first time in mylife, I made a truly selfless decision
for somebody else.
And it was the hardestdecision I ever had to make.
But God held me when I wassobbing when I was signing those
papers, thinking I was nevergonna have a relationship with her
(45:46):
again.
God has mended therelationship with all my children.
Amen.
And she approached me, and wehave a great relationship.
In fact, I've been able tohelp her through a situation that
she went through that was muchlike mine.
But I wouldn't have been ableto do that had I not followed what
(46:08):
God wanted me to and give herthat freedom that.
That.
That she needed from.
From feeling like she wouldhave to live with me if her dad died.
And I went through three yearsof the program with the Board of
nursing.
I was drug testing.
It felt like I was drugtesting every other day, but I kept
(46:31):
doing it.
In fact, I was testing morefrequently than I had to because
I wanted to prove that I wasdoing the right thing and I wasn't
going to use again.
And God has just reallyblessed my life, and he's always
been there, and he.
I have had major, like, we'll see.
(46:52):
One, two, three, three or fourmajor surgeries in the last two years.
And I made sure that I was atmy mom's house and she had my meds.
And I said, okay, you need tohide them from me.
Make sure I can't find them.
Not because I thought I wasgoing to start taking them too much,
(47:14):
but because I didn't want totempt myself.
And I just kept feeling likeGod was like, you still have stuff
you need to give me.
God has freed me from sexual immorality.
He has freed me from smoking.
He freed me from smoking cold turkey.
Because I was like, I triedfor the better part of 10 years to
(47:34):
quit, and I finally just fellon my face and said, God, I need
you to take this from me,because I can't do it.
And then I found twocigarettes in my backpack.
I said, oh, no.
And I smashed them up and Ithrew them away.
And I. I am more happy today.
And I feel like I belong.
(47:56):
I don't have that.
That feeling of like, I'mmissing out on something or I'm missing
a part of me, and I don't needto date.
I've been in the Word so much more.
And I started doing servicework and getting out of myself and.
(48:20):
And helping other people andsharing the gospel with other people,
sharing my testimony withother people.
And it.
And it's been amazing just tosee how God works and.
And how, looking back, howmany times he truly saved my life.
Wow.
Oh.
(48:40):
Going back to when I was 18 or the.
The adoption paperwork.
I was allowed to get it when Iwas 18, but I snuck through my dad's
drawer when I was doing choresone day, and my parents warned me
that I probably wouldn't.
Probably wouldn't be a goodthing if I found my.
My adopted family.
(49:01):
I am the oldest of five girlson both sides, and I have a relationship
with one.
And the other ones, they justfell away.
So your mom.
Did you ever contact yourbiological mom or.
Yeah, and they did the.
I met my biological father anda biological half sister, and that
(49:24):
was.
After that, they fell off everything.
They don't talk to me.
We were friends on Facebookfor a while, and I was like, yeah,
not worth it.
I am still friends with twohalf sisters and my biological mother
on Facebook, but biologicalmom doesn't talk to me.
She is homeless, though, in.
(49:45):
In Texas.
So that's.
It would have been.
Had I not been adopted out, Iprobably would not have survived
past 18.
Wow.
So they're living a lifestyle,like, pretty much how you were living
at one point.
Yep.
Okay.
But she's in a tent on the street.
Wow.
And the only reason I wasn'thomeless was because my parents helped
(50:06):
me out.
Wow.
And I just feel like the.
The people we interview, howGod throws out lifelines, even in
our greatest trials andadversity and even when you're just
two years old, to have youadopted, knowing that he had plans
for your life.
And we don't always go thestraight way.
Right.
To the path he has for us.
(50:28):
Yeah.
But I think that's the beautyof Christianity, of being born again,
is that God, just the momentthat he got off the cross and he
was resurrected, he not gotoff the cross, but he was buried,
raised again.
That he sought out Peter, thevery man that betrayed him.
Right.
He Didn't.
There was no grudges.
There was no.
(50:49):
He welcomed him back.
And that's one of the greateststories ever told as a prodigal son,
because that's what we are.
We're.
The moment we leave, we feellike, well, God's left me, or God
doesn't want a relationshipwith me.
And he's like, I've never left.
I've been here the whole timewaiting for you to come back.
And I'll treat you just.
There's consequences.
Right?
Because that's what we look atlove like.
(51:09):
Love is, you know, I love you,but sometimes love is a spanking.
Right.
Sometimes love is, you know,don't do that again.
Like, just like he would breakthe lamb's leg so they didn't.
And he would put them on theirshoulders so they would grow close,
and then the lamb would healand then they would, you know, there
was a growth process of, youknow, being broken, to be, you know,
made whole again in him.
(51:30):
So.
Wow.
That's pretty powerful.
Yeah.
You know, I think of adoptionand we've had an episode about adoption,
and it was a brother fromchurch that was adopted.
But I think of, you know, Imean, obviously, I don't know what
it's like to be adopted.
I was, you know, I'm.
I'm biological.
My sister says I am, but Idon't think that's true.
(51:51):
But I just.
I think of the fact that weare adopted into God's family, like,
but it's by choice.
And.
Which makes it almost all themore special because they made the
choice.
God made the choice.
Jesus made the choice to adoptme into his family.
Your parents made that choiceto adopt you.
And I think that's just.
There's something specialabout that adoption, you know, when
(52:12):
we can call God Abba Father.
And it's just.
It's.
It's an amazing thought whenyou think of it, because, I mean,
I think of the things I'vedone in my life and a lot of things
I'm not proud of and sin I'veengaged in and.
But he still loves me.
And that's just.
It's mind blowing because we.
We're conditional people.
I mean, that's just how we are.
(52:33):
We're.
We're conditional.
But he's unconditional.
He has this love that's perfect.
And I don't.
I don't quite understand, butit's amazing.
You know, when kids, Kids usedto make fun of me for being adopted,
my comeback was, you know,your parents got stuck with You.
My parents picked me.
Exactly right.
Exactly 100.
(52:53):
And I think that, you know,Jesus died on the cross for my sins.
He picked me knowing that Iwas going to do all of these things.
And he still said, I love youand I choose you.
And I chose him and adopted twice.
So when.
So I know you said you.
You were brought up in churchand basically the doors were open.
(53:14):
You were there, but do youremember a time when you, you know,
you.
You put your trust in the Lord?
I mean, the.
You know, the.
The moment of salvation.
Do you remember?
First time, four years old, wewere in our old house in Modesto.
Okay.
I'm not going to say theaddress, but I still remember the
address.
I was sitting behind this old,like, 80s.
I was actually on my knees,like, bent forward, like, like with
(53:36):
my hands and face on the ground.
And that was the first time Iwas born.
I distinctly remember that.
I don't have any memoriesother than that, like, at that young
of an age.
And then multiple times inmiddle school, I re.
Asked Jesus into my heart justin case it didn't stick the first
time.
Right, right.
Or second time.
Yes, Right, right, right.
I can kind of relate to that.
I mean, I was five years old.
(53:57):
And so you.
When you get into sin andstuff, when you get into high school
and you doubt.
Yeah.
And I don't.
We were in this crazy windyroad going up to camp, and we took
the wrong road, and it was onelane each way, and there's crosses
littering this highway.
I mean, it was sketch to be to.
To say the least.
(54:17):
And I was just praying becauseI was driving and all the kids were
like, we're going to die.
You know, teenagers have notact whatsoever.
And I'm like, you keeptalking, you know that's going to
come sooner than later.
And I just feel like it's soweird when, you know, when I got
back, I was so thankful thatGod got us through that.
And I feel like at that timehe gave me clarity to say, yeah,
you were saved when you werefive years old.
(54:39):
And just that conviction thatcomes when you do wrong.
And sometimes you go throughperiods where you're sinning and
you feel nothing.
And then there's other timeswhen you're like, wow, like, I've
gone really far further than Iever thought I ever would.
Like, I can't believe I'm in this.
And he brings the thought toyour mind, like, hey, what are you
doing?
Like, you're still my childand, you know, come back.
(55:02):
So just powerful testimony.
I've never heard it before.
And I know you started comingto Freedom that last at the times
when we didn't have it.
And we have it 52 times a year.
And the first time you came,there was a women's conference.
And I know I took you overthere and you saw all these women.
And you're, like, way too intimidating.
Yeah.
All these smiling women who,like, had their arms open wanting
(55:23):
to hug.
That was scary.
That's right.
My.
My wife's similar.
She's like.
She's a bunch of women.
She's like, I'm good.
I'm not a hugger, you know?
No, no, my b.
Knows.
I'm working on it.
I'm a hugger.
That's just.
That's just me.
But, you know, so is Tony.
He hugs everybody at Freedomto last, pretty much.
Oh, yeah, not me.
No shame.
I have the rusty and scaryface, so, like, I think I scare away
(55:44):
people from.
From hugging me.
Except Rebecca.
She don't care.
No, she hugs everybody.
Like she has a.
A compassionate heart.
Yeah.
Like, she truly, while sheloved me, so just loves people.
She says you have mean face.
Yeah, she says I have a meanface, which is a nice way to say
you're ugly.
She's like, you just have amean face.
(56:04):
Your face is mean.
I'm like, you know, just like,you go to the park to pass all tracks
and, like, we don't want no trouble.
I'm like, I don't want trouble either.
I'm just trying to bite you to freedom.
I just want to give you awater, bro.
I want to give you water inthe track.
That's it.
Well, thank you for sharingand being vulnerable.
And I think there's, you know,there's a brother that came to Freedom
the last.
A year ago that is battlingaddiction, and, you know, it was
(56:28):
alcohol, and now it's, youknow, turned into a meth addiction.
And that's kind of what he says.
Like, I. I know I need tostop, and I. I'm ready to come on
Friday, and then I give in,and then I don't feel like I'm, you
know, right to come and.
Well, that's the thing, right?
I mean, you.
You.
You don't, you know, you don'tclean yourself up before you jump
(56:48):
in the shower.
I mean, you just.
You come as you are.
I mean, you have to, because there's.
There's no other way.
You're not going to cleanyourself up.
You can't clean yourself up.
You need God's help.
It's impossible.
It's impossible to cleanyourself up.
We can't.
Yeah.
And his strength is madeperfect in our weakness.
And those are the times wherewhen I came naked and dirty and gross
(57:08):
before God and just fell on myface and begged him to free these,
these addictions from me.
That was when he.
He wore his work was.
I can't think the words.
But that's when he really,really helped me out.
Well, it's, it's that humility.
Right?
You come, you're humbled, right.
You come in humility.
And I think that's plays off that.
Verse to the humble.
(57:30):
That.
And I can do all things toChrist because he's talking about,
you know, having, being, being humble.
He knows how to be, you know,abundant and not, you know, and,
and, and, but it's thathumility and, and that's how you
have strength.
Because you, you come to theLord humbly and he gives you that
strength.
It's not done in your own power.
And that verse is misconstruedwildly through.
Like Tim Tebow, you know,through sports.
(57:51):
It's written through a 60 yard spiral.
Yeah, yeah, that's.
I'll never do that.
I won't even try.
No, no.
But he, he gives you, he yougives, gives you strength abundantly.
Not physically, but spiritually.
When I think of that verse, Ithink he gives us things abundantly
to do.
Right.
Yeah, right.
That he gives us the strengthto do what he's called us to do.
(58:12):
That even though we live inthis world where there's temptation
everywhere.
Yeah.
It's not beyond his help, hisdivine help to help us like we learned
in freedom the last coupleweeks ago.
Divine help to help us.
Like, I'll give you whateveryou need to.
Greater is he that is in youthan he that is in the world.
You know, we're.
Send it abound.
Grace did much more abound.
(58:32):
I'm giving you that grace thatexceeds the sin level.
Just put your feet down andtrust in me.
And I think so many times weflail and I'll tell you this story
because I like to tellstories, but we were at Golfland
back in the day and you know,I wasn't a great swimmer, but I could
swim.
And we came down the slidesand my buddy was drowning and I was
(58:54):
like, he was really like, hewas going under and I just got so
mad at him.
I'm like, stand up, stand up.
And so he stood up and he'slike coughing everywhere.
And I didn't realize it was,it was, it wasn't that Deep.
I'm like, you're an idiot.
So I could have died.
I said, well, then stand up.
Like, what's wrong with you?
And many times that's where,you know, like this picture we have
(59:15):
here, that God's reaching outto us and we're trying to do it on
our own and we're just failing.
And he just says, just comeunto me, right, all you that labor
and heavy laden, and I willgive you rest, you know, take my
yoke upon you.
Just powerful verses.
And I'm just so grateful thathe is a loving God and that he's
restored you.
I love.
I love what you said about dothe next right thing.
(59:39):
I love that because it's.
It's a.
It's that life of obedienceand it's, you know, it's one step
at a time.
And got the word says, youknow, God blesses you with new mercies
every morning.
And he.
He has that a grace that'sabounding, but it's that next step,
that next right step.
What do you.
What's next, the next right step?
Because it can be overwhelmingsometimes, you know, trying to have
(01:00:01):
it all together.
And, you know, I know when Iwent to.
When I first started going to.
To the church, you know, and.
And you know, I looked at allthese people and, you know, they're
dressed really nice, they havereally nice smiles, you know, just
a bunch of pretty people.
And I'm thinking to myself,man, I'm the only sinner in this
room.
Like.
And I'm not kidding.
That's literally what I was thinking.
You know, I was like, man, I'mjust like, dirty center.
(01:00:22):
And look at all these nice people.
And you soon find out that,you know, they're just as dirty as
you are, but, yeah, dirtier.
Thank God.
Yeah.
So.
But it's just that those newmercies every day that God meets
you with, and it's.
It's amazing how he does that.
He meets.
He meets you, you right whereyou are.
You just have to come humblyto him.
You just surrender to him.
And that's all it is.
(01:00:42):
And the Lord looks at the heart.
Thank God.
Amen.
Right?
Yep.
Well, it's also says peoplejudge our outside.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
Yeah.
Sorry about the face.
That's what you gave me.
I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.
So don't.
Don't blame me.
Praise the Lord.
I had nothing to do with this.
Amen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So any partying?
Go ahead, Ben.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
Any parting wisdom if there'ssomebody out there, some.
(01:01:04):
If you could talk to yourself,you know, looking back and say, give
yourself some wisdom.
When you were, you know, 18,17, what would be like, what would
you say?
What would you.
What would you tell yourself?
God works all things togetherfor the good of those who.
Who love him and are calledaccording to his purpose and to Not.
To not give up, because Goddoesn't give up on you and that you
(01:01:27):
are worth it.
You are unique, and you doonly get one shot at this life.
And God's gonna be there foryou no matter what.
You just turn to him and youfollow after him and you can get
through it.
It's gonna be hard.
Yep.
It's gonna be very hard at times.
Yeah.
And that's okay.
He promises that we're gonnahave tribulation.
(01:01:47):
Yeah.
But he also promises that ifhe's gonna give us a way of escape,
like when we are tempted.
Right.
Amen.
Amen.
For a short moment, right?
Yeah.
100.
This, too shall pass.
Yeah.
Amen.
Amen.
I'm already gonna be 50.
I'm not quite there yet.
I'm.
I'm trailing.
(01:02:07):
It's mid-70s over here.
Yeah, mid-70s over here.
Sorry.
All right.
Well, we really appreciate youcoming on the show, Christy, and.
And sharing that.
That was.
That was pretty heavy.
But, you know, I really thinkthat God's going to use this to.
Amen.
To reach somebody that's maybehaving some similar experiences that
you are ready to give up andto give hope, because that's really
what it comes down to.
(01:02:27):
I had a. I've talked aboutthis on the show before.
I had a business partner fellinto alcoholism, and without going
into the whole story, he endedup committing suicide because he
lost that hope.
And it's just.
It's.
It's so sad.
But I hope that this.
This podcast episode will.
Will help somebody that's outthere or if you're listening and,
you know, somebody that's, youknow, dealing with some of these
(01:02:48):
types of issues and.
And, you know, just feelinghopeless, like, share this.
Share this message with them.
That's kind of the whole.
Whole reason we're doing this podcast.
It's the purpose of it.
We're definitely not in it forthe money because, you know, we're
definitely not Joe Rogan.
But.
But please share it out there.
And.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you for having me, andthank you, everybody.
Please subscribe and we'll seeyou in the next episode.
(01:03:10):
Bye for now.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Thank you for listening to theAbundant Life Podcast.
We pray you were blessed bytoday, today's episode.
Please visit us online atAbundantLife FM.
Until next time.
May God bless you.
Welcome to the Abundant LifePodcast, bringing you encouragement
and challenging believers tospiritual change and growth by applying
biblical principles toeveryday life.
And now your hosts, SassoMendez and Ben Arellano.
Welcome, everybody, to theAbundant Live Podcast.
(00:24):
This is episode number seven zero.
Yeah.
70 episodes in the books.
Wow.
It's a lot.
I'm here with my good friendand faithful servant in the faith,
Sasso Mendez.
Hello.
Hello.
What's up, brother?
How you doing?
Good.
How are you?
And today we've got a specialguest with us.
Once again, I feel like thisis a trend.
We.
We're.
We're interviewing a lot ofpeople, but today we have Christy
(00:45):
with a K. Welcome.
With a K. And two eyes.
Special K. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What has two eyes and can'tsee Me?
I actually.
I wear contacts.
Oh, yeah, me too.
I don't wear them, but, yeah,I need them.
This is also, by the way.
Oh, hey.
Hey, Charles.
I thought it was Charles.
Chaso, where are you at?
(01:06):
That's Ben.
Yeah, Ben, bj, Whatever.
Besso.
Oh, man, we get confused.
Often people confuse me forhim and we're often referred to as.
Yeah, confuse you, too.
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
I know.
Ben's like 5:10.
I'm 5:5.
I'm a couple of melanin shades.
I'm pretty dark.
(01:26):
You know what I mean?
So I got a smile in the.
In the night time.
But, yeah, we typically get confused.
Yeah.
No, I think people are lazy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I might be able to.
No, I don't see it.
Sorry.
They're like, oh, it's a Mexican.
It's either Ben or sauce.
So 50.
50 chance here.
Or Charles.
And Charles isn't Mexican.
Charles, Mexican.
I think I might be a littlebit, like, darker than you.
(01:48):
Like, tan wise.
Wow.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
And I'm.
I'm not.
I'm not Mexican or Hispanic oranything like that.
Yeah.
I need to get outside more.
Yeah.
Rebecca.
No doubt.
Rebecca's like a Florencefluorescent bulb.
You know, I tell her to cover up.
Oh.
Comes in handy to be.
To glow in the dark, though.
Yeah.
I can't sleep at night.
Like, get under the sheets, please.
(02:09):
You get the little.
I can't see.
What do they call them?
The little eye cover.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Razzie sleeps with them.
A sleep mask.
A sleep mask.
Does he really?
He does.
I don't know.
It's kind of weird because he has.
He has, like, blackout.
I know it's dark in there.
It's super dark.
But he still wears them Idon't know.
He takes him on vacation.
Like, I think we.
He takes them everywhere he goes.
(02:30):
I know my house.
I want blackout.
Rebecca likes the.
Because the sun comes in, Iwake up and I prefer.
Like it to be dark.
Dark.
But she's like, no, I like thelight coming in.
Yeah, we black out too.
I. I don't like light.
I can't sleep.
Well, she sleeps on her faceand has the pillow over her.
She can't see anything anyway,so I don't know what she means when
she says I can't.
(02:50):
I like the light.
Like, I've never met anybodythat puts a pillow on top of their
head.
You sure she does?
You're not doing that, like,in the middle of the night?
No.
All right.
I. I don't know how you.
How did she breathe?
No, I don't know.
Oh, no.
That's pretty wild.
I mean, like, you know, youhave the massage beds and they have
a hole in it.
(03:10):
You know, put your face in that.
And that's actually not.
That's pretty comfortable, actually.
I. I didn't mind.
I got a massage recently andit was.
It was pretty nice.
I enjoyed it and I could breathe.
But if you're just.
Yeah, I don't know.
I would.
I'm not claustrophobic, but Iwould definitely be claustrophobic
with a pillow over my head.
I'm not claustrophobic, but I just.
I don't know.
I just feel like you're.
I prefer to put the pillowunder my head.
(03:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, like 99.9 people inthe world.
Right, Right, right, right.
She's the outlier for sure.
So.
So taco talk.
We.
We talk a little bit aboutfood and maybe some things we've
consumed this past week.
Sasa, you got any.
Anything good this week?
I did have Matt's twice,because Rebecca's not here, you know,
(03:53):
so.
Yeah, Hash browns, omelette,but cheddar cheese.
Yeah, Dude, Bacon chorizo.
Yeah, we had Matt's as well.
I think once is.
No.
Did we do twice?
No, we did once.
We had Cracker Barrel oncethis week.
Well, we had mats together.
Right.
On Friday.
Right.
Oh, so.
So since last Friday.
Yeah, we pre.
(04:13):
Meal.
Correct, Correct.
Ftl.
You know, we had to get ready.
And then Sunday.
Then Sunday.
Yeah.
And then Saturday I hadCracker Barrel.
That was pretty good too.
I like.
Would you.
And Mama's Pancakes.
Mama's pancakes.
Okay.
Yeah, it's good.
Good.
Crunchy, you know, I like thema little crispy.
You know, you can put nuts inThere too.
Did you know that?
I. I think you think?
You told me one time.
I have not done that yet.
But you can get their syrup,which is 100.
(04:35):
Well, it's not 100 maple.
I think it's cane sugar plusmaple syrup.
Okay.
But it is real maple syrup.
I'm kind of a syrup snob.
That's why I like mats.
Because it's real syrup?
Yeah, it's from the tree.
Those pancakes at MATS are pretty.
Pretty legit, though.
I shouldn't have had it, but.
Yeah, it was like, I was sofull, like.
And I took a nap.
You know, he's supposed towalk after me.
(04:55):
I just took a nap and.
Right to my hips.
It was terrible.
Yeah, we did the same thing.
Well, so.
So what?
Hyperglycemia.
Yeah, that.
That's probably what happened.
Yeah.
Thanks.
So.
So what's your.
What's your poison?
What?
What?
You know, your.
All food.
All food.
Okay.
I like food.
Okay.
Anything particular?
Like a favorite, like if.
Celebration, birthday,anniversary, you know, hey, this.
(05:18):
Is, you know, death row last meal.
That too, man.
It'd probably be steak if itwas my last meal.
Steak, potatoes.
I'm not a big sweets person.
Like, not big on cakes andcupcakes and candy and all that.
I would agree with that.
You never have.
But yeah, I'm definitely steakand potatoes or meat and potatoes
kind of person.
So where.
Where are you.
(05:39):
Where are you getting steak at?
Like, you know, whatrestaurants or, you know, is there
a special place you go to for.
Oh, okay.
So you cook your.
You make your own steak.
You grill it.
Like, what.
How are we preparing this?
I marinate it.
Okay.
And then I put it in the oven.
Okay.
So like, it's like a cliffhanger.
Okay.
I marinate it.
(05:59):
Do you oven.
So do you sear it?
Do you sear it prior to theoven or do you just straight into
the oven?
No, because I probablyshouldn't be using my grill cuz last
time I left the propane on orthe, you know, that big T. Yeah.
So that wasn't great, but.
No, I used the.
Oh, crap.
Like the broiler.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Broiler.
(06:19):
Yep.
That makes it good.
Yep.
Thank.
So what.
What's your cut?
Like what.
What's your favorite cut of meat?
Whatever's on sale.
Like, I mean, the vip, youknow, fries price like one day left,
it's gonna go bad.
Right.
Starting to look a little green.
Like.
Ah.
Yeah.
I got a lot of mouths to feed, so.
Yeah, pretty much like ribeye,but you know, you have no no limitation
(06:41):
here.
What are you.
You're going to steak 44?
Yeah.
What are you ordering?
I can picture in my head.
Can't think of the name of it.
It's the most tender cut of meat.
I've only had it once in mylife, though.
The.
Like, filet mignon.
Yes.
Thank you.
Okay.
With the bacon wrap, you know, really?
Bacon would ruin it.
I like bacon.
Like, crispy by itself, butnot on.
Not on your steak.
(07:01):
No.
They typically wrap it right.
I mean, it's.
Because it's a little.
It's a little filet, and they.
They typically.
It's pretty thick, pretty fat.
I don't care for filet mignon.
It's a little too.
There's no fat in it.
It's a little bit lean.
Yeah.
Diane used to love that, andthen I got her turned on to ribeye,
and ribeye is just.
It's like a pork steak.
I love a pork stick.
Well, it's just.
There's so much fat in it.
(07:22):
It's marbled, and so.
It's just so juicy.
It's so good.
How can you chew that?
Like, it's.
It just slimy.
I'm a texture person.
I can't do that.
It kind of just melts.
Yeah.
Rebecca cannot stand fat.
No.
She gives it to me, and I'm like.
I cut it all off.
Depends how it's prepared, too.
You know what I mean?
Like, it could be chewy fat orit just.
But if you cook it right,like, it just.
(07:42):
I feel like it's a challenge, though.
Like, I'm going to win withthe fat.
I just keep chewing andchewing it, chewing it.
Like, we'll see what's up.
Right, Right, right, right, right.
The jaws hurt.
It's still tasty.
But I always say, Texasroadhouse, for the money, you can't
beat it.
Yeah, Texas roadhouse is good.
Outback's pretty good.
It's expensive.
I'm not a big Outback person.
(08:03):
Yeah.
I think I want to say I'vebeen there maybe once, but I don't
know.
I mean, one time I went toDenny's with Matt, and I asked the
guy, like.
Cause I used to back in theday get T bone steak.
So I asked him, how's your T1C?
He goes, all these are premiercuts of meat.
Wow.
He brought me the steak, andthere's an old bone.
There was no T bone.
(08:23):
It was, like, in the shape ofan O, like this big.
It was the worst piece of meatI've ever had.
Well, you were at Denny's, Right?
Yeah, but you remember like amemory for you, and then you, you
get to be an adult or you getolder and you're just like, yeah,
well, what was I thinking atthat time?
Like, this is, you know, thisis weird.
(08:46):
Why would I wear like aquagreen, you know, whatever shorts,
you know, just.
Yeah, it was cool, but I don't know.
Yeah, that was a faux pas.
Well, Matt's the one that wantto go to Denny's.
I'll never want to go to Denny's.
Never.
But Rebecca likes this newDenny's over here and said it's good.
She said, what do you guys get?
I don't get anything because Idon't go with her.
She goes with her friend.
(09:07):
Oh, I got you.
I go to Matt's.
I mean, what is Matt's, by the way?
I've never heard Breakfast.
Matt.
Matt's Big breakfast.
Yeah, it's.
It's pretty much like allnatural, all organic.
Everything's homemade.
Like, it's really good food.
It's not like real butter,real syrup.
Yeah, like stuff cooked inolive oil, like not, you know.
(09:27):
Yeah, yeah.
So bio organic.
Do you mean like it grows inthe ground like all.
Yeah, they use local vegetables.
They.
They use local farmers herein, in Arizona.
As far as cage free eggs,which I don't, I don't.
Sorry, I don't care.
You know, whatever.
Right, yeah.
Yeah.
But talking about speakingabout eggs, I mean, you kind of got
us on the topic now.
So you.
You raise chickens and you,you have.
(09:49):
Have a lot of eggs?
I actually have some of themost spoiled chickens probably in
the state of Arizona.
Well, you bring them to ftl, so.
Yeah, that's pretty spoiled.
And I think those are the bantams.
Was it one time that you, you,you bathed your chicken like you
took them a bath?
Well, yeah, they have to.
I have.
I have this chicken.
I call her Ms.
Fuzzy Britches because of thetype of chicken that she is.
(10:12):
She looks.
She just looks like a puffball.
And she gets really messy whenshe eats watermelon.
It gets all in her watermelon.
Wow.
I'm telling you, my chickensare spoiled.
Those eggs are going to be bomb.
No wonder you're buying theVIP steak from fries.
You got to feed them chickens.
Seedless.
Please.
Chickens love.
(10:33):
What?
Wow.
Yeah.
What?
They're little cannibals.
Oh.
You know how great a chickenwould taste if all they fed was eat?
All they ate was chicken?
Like if a pig just ate pig.
Wow.
Interesting.
Phenomenal.
Never thought about that.
It's like putting bacon on aham sandwich.
Delicious.
Wow.
Wow.
Cordon bleu.
(10:55):
Interesting.
Wow.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
So one chicken dies.
You can feed them to the restof the chickens.
Oh, no.
Because I know.
Because once they're.
They die, it's usually they'relike old age or.
I'm not sure why they died, soI'm not gonna risk that.
Oh, they have a disease orsomething, maybe, or.
Yeah.
Something wrong with them.
Well, one time at ftl, we hada lot of kids at.
(11:16):
And so my son.
My wife said, you know, shepaid him to come watch the kids.
And she.
He said, I walked in there andthere's kids, a baby and chickens.
Like, what just happened right now?
Like, what's going on?
It was a hamster last time.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Super soft hamster.
Do you wash him as well?
No, he does his own littlesand baths.
(11:39):
Telling my animals are really spoiled.
Yeah.
Put them out in the rain.
You know what I mean?
Where they go in the rain,too, but then they get in the mud.
Okay.
They roll around.
Chickens roll around in the dirt.
They give themselves dirt baths.
So you have a pretty big lot,or your neighbors appreciate your
chickens?
They do because I share eggswith them.
Okay.
I. Yeah.
So you, You, You.
I kind of bribe them.
So you have.
You must have a rooster, Iassume, right?
(12:01):
Unfortunately, we do.
He's a bantam.
His name is Bingo.
And he.
He doesn't know what time ofday he's supposed to crow.
And he lives inside becauseI'm not.
I live in the city limits, soI can't have him outside.
Okay.
He's a nuisance.
Okay.
I love him to death, but he'sa nuisance.
2 o' clock in the morning.
He's anytime.
2 o' clock in the afternoon.
(12:21):
2 o' clock in the morning.
Peter betrayed the Lord again.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
He's going off.
Yeah, his.
His.
His internal clock's prettymessed up.
I wonder.
I wonder what happened.
It is.
And you gotta take him to theRolex shop, bro, and get that thing.
I know you gotta get reorganized.
But he's only about this big.
And this is about as big ashe's ever gonna get.
Okay.
And he thinks he is about this big.
Oh, yeah.
(12:42):
I think that's kind of the,you know, whole rooster thing, right?
I mean.
Yeah.
Yeah.
El.
I think I'm like 5, 10, 2.
But reality not.
But he's too young still.
So he doesn't make the eggs fertilized.
So that's good.
So, okay, so we have chickensand we have hamsters.
So what else do we have?
(13:02):
Rats.
Okay, so you raise rats orjust like you have pet rats?
Well, my kids already live inthe hood.
Like, I have cockroaches and Igot rats.
So we name that jump the fenceand steal stuff.
Ratatouille.
Ratatouille.
And Maryvale, we had rooferettes.
(13:24):
Not us, but the neighbors.
And they used to run around.
You could see them running onthe back fences.
Is that what a roof?
That's what.
They're huge.
They look like cats.
So the other day, citrustrees, bro.
I'm sitting in the backyardand I'm on the phone and I look up
and right across the fence, Isee something running.
It was kind of.
It was kind of dark though,and I saw something right, and run
across.
I wonder if it was a roof rat.
Could have been.
We've had squirrels before.
We have rabbits in the backyard.
(13:45):
They just come.
There's a bunch of rabbits inour neighborhood.
They love citrus trees.
I love them.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
So those.
Those are wild though.
Those aren't like you bought.
No, no.
So what happened was.
Okay, the second time.
I think I've said that already.
Good stories.
So we had snakes.
At one point we had ball pythons.
Two of them.
Okay.
And they eat rats, right?
(14:08):
Live rats.
And when they were eating the.
About the medium sized one,they got that big and they decided
they were gonna stop eating.
One of them got sick.
The other one, I don't know,she just didn't want to eat.
And we had gotten annoyinglygot a male and a female rat.
And when the snakes didn't eatthem, they were together in the box.
And then we had baby ratlets.
(14:28):
I called them ratlets.
Wow.
Yeah.
And so that's what started our.
My kids breeding of the rats.
Very white.
And bam.
There you go.
Strangers.
Yeah, my first.
I know that's very white.
Sorry.
Do not disturb.
So, okay, so.
(14:49):
So that's where I learnedabout Dumbo rats versus, like regular
rats.
Wow.
What's a Dumbo rat?
They look like Dumbo.
You know Dumbo, the old movie?
Floppy ears, big ears.
They're bigger in size andthey have big ears, but they're a
lot sweeter than the regular rats.
They don't bite.
So that's what you startedproducing, was the dumbo rats?
(15:09):
Yeah, and we got rid of thesnakes because I don't like snakes
and I don't like feeding.
You kept it, but you kept the rats?
Yeah.
Now we have, like, a wholeplantation of rats.
I don't know what you call them.
There's a ton of them.
They live in different cages.
We just had a litter that was born.
They all died.
So I felt really bad for them.
Yeah.
So I actually bought her threebaby rats that she.
(15:30):
She took in as her own, like, adopt.
So it is like ratatouille?
Yeah, pretty much.
Pretty much.
Except they don't run aroundthe house.
So you don't sell the rats?
I do.
Okay, so you sell them to,like, David.
Yeah.
Actually, he has bought a lotof our rats.
Resurrection reptiles.
Wow.
Okay.
Giving you a shot out here.
Oh, wow.
He didn't pay for a spot, though.
No, no spot.
Not kennel air.
It's all good.
It's all.
No, no, no.
(15:51):
Yeah.
Okay.
So you kind of supply him andyou're closer than where he usually
goes.
Every once in a while.
Okay.
I have too many, like, 20s and30s of rats, and I'm like, hey, David.
One is too many for me,myself, personally.
That's what my mom thinks, but.
Okay.
So we have ball pipe.
So no more ball pythons?
Nope, got rid of those.
I bartered them, actually, for chickens.
(16:13):
Okay.
That's how I got chickens tobegin with.
I bartered.
What is a snake worth?
How many chickens is that?
I ended up getting fivechickens and a giant Flemish rabbit
for two ball pythons.
So we will do Bitcoin.
We do pythons for chickens.
I like it.
(16:33):
Okay, so we got a.
Now we got a rabbit.
Okay, so what else do we have?
I have a dragon, and he haswings, so therefore I call him a
dragon.
He has a leash.
He's a bearded dragon, but hehas a leash.
And that has wings on it.
Okay.
Yeah.
He.
He's awesome.
I thought that was funny whenwe went to Mexico and there were
guys walking around with thebearded dragons.
And, like, people would walkup and they would pay for a picture
(16:56):
with the.
So do you do that?
Do you take, like, photo boothwith the bearded dragon?
No.
You gotta.
There's a business opportunity.
Just saying.
Yeah.
Tempe Town Lake.
And, hey, I could just open upa petting zoo.
Just walk around with them.
Yeah, exactly.
Have a petting zoo in my backyard.
True.
And I do have a corner lot, soit has a bigger backyard.
Okay.
The house is very prettysmall, but the backyard's a lot bigger.
(17:17):
So do you have any, Like.
I have dogs.
Oh, okay.
I was gonna say, do you haveany normal animals?
Like.
Like a dog?
Okay.
Three dogs.
Three dogs.
Okay.
No cats?
No.
They would Be dead by now.
What about just one animal ata time?
Like.
Well, we got one at a time.
I know, but you have three dogs.
Yeah, well, we had one firstLily, and then Lily needed a friend,
(17:38):
so then we got Max, and thenLily died, so then Max needed a friend
because he was sad.
And then we got Rosie, andthen there was my friend posted on
Facebook about this litter ofdogs that was going to be euthanized
by the owner, taken out andshot, basically.
And I saw how cute they were,and I was like, I'll take one.
(18:02):
I wasn't allowed to have a lotof pets as a.
As a child, and rightly so.
My.
My brother and my dad werehighly allergic, and I kept bringing
home strays because I wantedto save them.
So as an adult, I said I wasgoing to get a lot of animals.
That is a lot of animals.
It's a lot.
You know, I think I would.
If I was raising animals, Ithink I would want to raise, like,
a cow, because, you know, youcould get some beef out of that,
(18:24):
you know, make some tacos or,you know, steak, brisket.
I mean, I love brisket.
Technically, I could eat thechickens, but they all have names,
so I think there's a ruleagainst that.
You can't eat something, butthey're still.
Producing eggs, so they stillhave value.
Yeah, they're an asset.
They're an asset.
They're not alive.
That's why they do eggs,because they're like, don't kill
me.
I'm still doing it.
Wow.
I'm still giving you golden eggs.
(18:45):
And I think you said, I have amouse, too.
Oh, a mouse.
Long story.
She's a singular mouse.
She was nursing some baby micethat we got, because instead of giving
us baby rats for the mommyrat, they gave us baby mice.
And so then we needed a mom tofeed the mice, and then the mice
died, except for her.
So now we have a pet mouse.
What do you feed that?
(19:07):
They have mouse food.
Really?
I know.
Like what?
So does the mouse, like, kindof hang out with the hamster?
Do they chill like.
No.
The rats?
Do they.
Can they all intermingle, ordo they.
You got.
No.
Okay.
You separate them.
They're separated.
Would they eat each other?
The rats will eat the mice andprobably the hamster.
Wow.
The rats will eat the hamster.
Yes.
Sounds pretty big.
Wow.
All right.
(19:27):
They're.
Most of them are dumbos, sothey're huge.
Wow.
Okay, that happens.
It starts working.
I was like, prison segregation.
There's races, rats, the mice,the hamsters.
Hamsters like to be alone.
Join us Friday night at ftl.
We will have rats this Friday.
Yeah.
No, I told the kids, look at that.
There's a kitchen and there's.
They can't bring the rats.
(19:47):
They've tried.
And I was like, no, nope.
I would like.
I'd love to see Denise jump upa little bit.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
You'd be like, ratatouilleback there cooking, bro.
He's making some.
What is that?
What's the dish that he made, man?
I can't remember what it's called.
It's called ratatouille.
Oh, it's ratatouille.
That's right.
That's the dish.
That's right.
Hence the name, you know.
(20:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good times.
Yeah.
All right.
You want to get into content?
Yeah, let's.
Already not listening.
Yeah, we probably lost people.
That's okay, though.
That's okay.
Before you get into thecontent, let's just.
I want to let everybody knowwe are at AbundantLife FM.
You can find us there and youcan view our show notes, you can
see our previous episodes, andamong other things, we have food
(20:30):
recommendations there.
Although I have not updatedthose in a while.
I think I need to get downthere and update.
There might even be some thataren't even open anymore, I don't
know.
And maybe some we need to add.
Maybe some we need to remove Graziano's.
Yeah, I know.
I miss Graziano's.
Like, Like, I was pretty sadthe other day.
I was driving by because I wasat Freddy's house and, I mean, I
was just sad.
I saw, like, it's a pizzerianow, but.
Love you, Keith.
(20:50):
I don't know.
Dude added me on LinkedIn, man.
I'm funny.
It was like a nostalgic placefor us.
Did you ever go to Graziano?
Nope.
If you did, you would knowthat was good.
We're on social media.
You can find us on Facebookand Instagram and we are.
Oh, and YouTube.
And so if this episode is a.
(21:10):
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Is going to be a blessing,hopefully it's going to be a blessing
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Would you just go ahead andhit that, like, button and subscribe
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And I think that's it.
So with that, Sasa, I thinkyou have our key verse.
So we do.
This is the old King JamesEnglish, so forgive me if you don't
roll with the King James.
But the verse tonight Christiepicked is I can do all things through
(22:15):
Christ which strengtheneth me.
Found in Philippians 4:13.
So Christy will let you havethe floor.
And why does this verse.
How.
Why is this verse so impactfulto you or meaningful to you?
Because that is basically thisstory of my life about how God has
(22:35):
given me strength and how hehas rescued me from so many different
times in my life where Ishouldn't even be here today.
But the biggest one was when Iwas in my addiction and he.
He pulled me out of addiction.
But I guess I can go back tothe beginning.
(22:56):
Okay.
Because back in the beginning.
So I was born in the mid-80s,we'll call it like it.
Biological mom was 16.
Biological dad was in hisearly 20s.
And it was a really bad situation.
I was not being taken care ofand I was passed around from family
member to family member.
(23:18):
There was abuse from mymaternal grandfather, and by the
age of two, I was put up foradoption, which was a blessing.
But, you know, I. I don't knowhow much you guys know about bonding.
When you're a child or aninfant, one of the biggest periods
of time where you need to bondwith your parents is between like
(23:41):
six months and two years old.
And I didn't have that.
Excuse me.
And I didn't realize howimportant that was until obviously
later on in life.
But my parents were amazingthat adopted me.
Okay, obviously.
And was raised in a.
In a Christian home.
I was raised with an olderbrother who was also adopted.
(24:05):
And, you know, it was churchevery Sunday, not optional.
We'd go to Awanas.
I was in Pioneer Girls too,you know, on Wednesdays.
Chums and chum.
Chums and guards or.
Yes, yes, yes, I forgot aboutthat one.
We did that one, too.
Nope.
Sparky, That's.
I mean, you know, Sparky.
Then you become a chum and youbecome a guard, and then you go into.
(24:28):
I Forgot all those names.
Sometimes I can roll a dust.
But no, I love Rolodexes.
They don't ever.
You don't ever lose power on those.
It's a roller decks.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding.
I was born in 70s, late 70s,late, very late 70s, mid to late,
late.
(24:50):
But you know, I.
Growing up, I never reallyfelt like I fit in, like I belonged.
I always had that piece of methat felt like it was missing and
it wasn't.
It wasn't Christ, because Iaccepted Christ into my life at five
day club when I was four years old.
And did you, did you know atan early age that you were adopted?
Yes.
Okay.
My parents always told me, soI always knew.
(25:12):
Okay.
And I think I.
And, and this is not.
I think it was right that theytold me 100.
I wouldn't have wanted it anyother way.
Okay.
But the, the information thatI wanted, they wanted me to wait
till I was an adult to get,and I wanted it now because, you
know, that's how I roll.
(25:33):
Right.
But we'll get to that onelater on.
But I went to, like, missionstrips when I was in middle school.
I was the epitome of a nerd.
I had braces, glasses, netgear, had like one really good friend,
which is good because I justneeded that one really good friend.
And, you know, I got made funof for that.
(25:54):
I got made fun of for being adopted.
And by the time I got intohigh school, we started going to
missions trips in Mexicoinstead of, you know, downtown Modesto,
taking graffiti off the walls.
But I always.
I always felt like I belongedwhen I was doing those missions trips.
I always felt like I fit in.
(26:15):
I didn't feel like there wasanything missing, you know, in school
where they make you write,like, stories.
All of my stories actuallyhave all of my stories that I wrote
because my mom saved them.
They are all about someone orsomething that didn't feel like they
fit in, didn't feel like they belonged.
And then by the end of thestory, they had their happy ending.
(26:35):
And it was.
It was interesting to go backand read those.
And even though I had a reallyclose relationship with my.
As close of a relationshipwith my parents as I could have,
but I didn't have that, thatinitial bonding with them.
So it was a little morestrange than I feel like it would
have been if I was born from them.
(26:57):
I don't know if that makes sense.
And I started working in highschool, like two jobs while going
to school and I was in, youknow, track and cross country and
I always wanted to be out ofthe house.
I wanted to be independent by myself.
I didn't feel like I fit in,but yet I wanted to be alone.
(27:17):
Yeah, just didn't make sense.
And then I had a prettytraumatic thing happen to me when
I was 17.
So growing up in a Christianhome, there's like three things,
three major rules.
One is you don't have sexbefore marriage.
The second one is you don'tget divorced.
And the third one is you don'tdo drugs.
Those are like the three main,main ones.
(27:38):
And I had planned on, youknow, being, saving myself till marriage.
We had that true love weights thing.
I had a, a ring.
And that was taken from me,that, that choice was taken from
me.
And the guilt and shame that Icarried from that was unreal.
And I didn't tell anybodybecause I didn't want them to think
(28:02):
differently of me.
And it ended up where I fellin love with the guy and I didn't
want to ruin his life bysaying anything because I knew if
I said something, my parentswould have filed charges.
He was in his early 20s and Iwas 17.
And so I did my best to run.
(28:25):
I became an EMT at 18, startedworking EMS.
We had a really bad call wheretwo of the firefighters in our town
were killed or one was killed,the other one was severely injured.
And I held a lot of guilt fromthat too.
So I'm 17, 18 years old,holding on to all of his guilt and
shame and not wanting to talkabout it and thinking that people
(28:51):
aren't going to understand.
So I ended up joining themilitary to get out of our town.
I joined the Navy first.
And that didn't work out.
So I got sent back home and.
And it wasn't because Icouldn't hack it.
It was long story.
But I ended up joining thearmy afterwards after working at
(29:13):
the fire department.
But I had such a low selfesteem of my.
I had such a low self esteem,I hated myself.
I had such guilt and shamethat I became this person that I
didn't even recognize in thesense of any guy that showed me attention.
I was all for it.
And most of the time it wasreally bad attention.
It was negative and it was, Iwas being used because I was so naive
(29:36):
still that I didn't understand.
And I was running from God tooat this time because I figured he
would be ashamed of me toobecause, you know, I, I, you know,
wasn't married when, when Ihad sex for the first Time, and I
wouldn't call it that, but I met.
(29:59):
Well, when I got to my dutystation when I was in the army, they
send you through reception andthere is this person who's a sergeant
first class that you'resupposed to talk with and he's supposed
to show you around and he'ssupposed to be somebody that you
can trust, right?
Yeah, he wasn't.
And I wasn't going to letsomebody get away with it a second
(30:24):
time.
So I, I said something that time.
And it turned out that womenfrom past the statute of limitations
were coming forward.
After I came forward on that.
One problem was had to gothrough a court martial.
And that was worse than theincident itself, having to testify
against him.
But there was five of us, andthat was kind of like the downward
(30:49):
spiral of my military career.
I ended up getting pregnantand I married the guy as my first
ex husband and he got deployed.
I was taking care of ourdaughter and we grew apart.
Things happened.
(31:09):
I moved us out here to Arizonabecause we were both in.
Stationed in upstate New Yorkand we had a son and I had back problems
from being in the military.
Oh, let me go back to being inthe military.
That's where I started myalcohol addiction big time.
(31:30):
Because I was trying to coverup my, my guilt and my shame.
And so I didn't drink to have fun.
I drank to blackout.
I drank to not remember,because if I didn't remember, then
it didn't happen.
And I couldn't feel guilt andshame for something that I couldn't
remember.
So I quit drinking, obviously,with the kids, and moved out here.
(31:55):
And I had a doctor that wasprescribing me Percocetin, like candy.
That was back in the day whenthey were doing that.
And that's when I discoveredthat that medication made me feel
nothing too.
And I didn't have a hangover.
I didn't get the physical addictions.
I mean, I liked it and Iwanted it and I took it too much.
But when I stopped, I didn'thave the withdrawal.
(32:18):
And I would start and stopthat because the doctor quit the
practice anyway.
I ended up getting divorced.
So now I've kind of broken twoof the rules already.
And my mom actually took hisside because he had told her some
untruths about the divorce.
And I finally came clean withher about that.
(32:40):
And so I felt like I hadsomebody on my side.
But in the marriage, I feltlike I belonged.
I felt like I had purpose.
But my.
My relationship with Godwasn't strong.
I started Drinking again.
After that divorce, it wasreally tough trying to get on my
feet and take care of the kidsby myself and basically starting
(33:04):
over from scratch.
And I ended up having anotherkid in between because I'm still
looking for love in all thewrong places.
And let's see, it was actually before.
Before I had her, I wasdrugged and raped.
And then I met her dad and hada third kid.
(33:28):
And during the time I waspregnant with her, I met my second
ex husband.
I went from bad to worse in mymarriages because I was not.
My relationship with God wasnot there at all at this point.
And I was still doing the.
(33:49):
Any guy that gave me showed meattention, here I am.
Okay, you showed me attention.
That makes me like me.
And I was still very immature,I guess, when it came to two men.
And I was going to hold on tothis marriage because I didn't want
it to fail.
(34:10):
But he introduced me to theworld of hard drugs.
I started a meth addiction, Istarted a heroin addiction, fentanyl,
anything I could get my hands on.
Because I discovered that Ididn't feel and I didn't care that
I didn't feel.
And I didn't have thosefeelings of guilt and shame and hating
(34:33):
myself.
At first that came, but therelationship was abusive mentally,
emotionally, physically.
It's the first time in my lifeI've had a gun put in my face, finger
on the trigger.
And it's funny, my life didn'tflash before my eyes.
(34:53):
My kids lives did.
And I was pregnant at the time.
And he said, I hope youmiscarry, it's the neighbor's baby.
And I ended up miscarrying anda lot of other really not great things
happen.
And I ended up taking him backbecause that cycle of abuse, you
(35:16):
know, you get the honeymoonphase and then they tell you everything's
gonna be different.
And they seem like it's gonnabe different.
And it's never different.
And it took me two kids later.
Well, I was on my second pregnancy.
So when I was pregnant with myyoungest daughter, I finally had
the courage to leave.
He was already on his nextrelationship, or he at least was
(35:41):
thinking about it.
And then I was on my own again.
And once again I've hadanother failed marriage.
Now I have a drug addictionthat's on and off.
And I spent all of 2018destroying my life.
I had gone to nursing school,I'd graduated nursing school.
(36:02):
I had five kids at this point.
And I was throwing my life away.
My dad was dying and my momand my dad moved out here.
And I found out that what mydad had wasn't what he was diagnosed
with.
He ended up having autoimmuneencephalitis instead of early onset
(36:22):
dementia, which is curable ifyou catch it in time.
And I couldn't handle my ownlife, much less watching my dad die.
And I was a terrible daughterat the time.
I was not helpful to my mother.
I was not taking care ofmyself, not taking care of my kids.
(36:45):
And I couldn't handle watchingmy dad go.
And by the end of 2018, all mykids were removed from my custody.
And rightly so.
Rightly so.
But that was what started meon the path to my rock bottom.
Because that wasn't quite myrock bottom, but it was my, hey,
pay attention.
Things are getting bad.
(37:07):
And I tried at that point,when my kids were removed, I tried
really hard, really hard to quit.
I'd go.
I was suicidal.
I would go into.
To detox.
And I detox for a coupleweeks, get out, and start right back
on it.
Because I couldn't see my lifebeing sober.
I could not picture whatsobriety was anymore.
(37:28):
And I couldn't.
My.
My brain, Satan, was tellingme, you can't live without this,
and you can't live with it,but you can't live without it.
And I finally, you know, fellflat on my face.
I was like, God, you gottatake this from me somehow.
This is not what you want formy life.
Like, nobody.
(37:49):
Nobody's life should be likethat, you know?
And I was lying about my drug use.
So I was misdiagnosed as bipolar.
One of those things thatyou're not supposed to be diagnosed
with any new mental healthillnesses unless you're like a year
clean.
But I lied to them and waslying to everybody and telling them
(38:09):
I didn't have a drug addiction.
So my dad passed away threedays before my birthday in 2019.
I was high at his funeral,falling asleep in the front row with
my mom and I. I got theopportunity to hold my dad's hand
(38:30):
when he passed away.
But then the guilt and shamecame from not being there for him,
from not for not being therefor my mom, for not being a better
daughter, a better person,better mom.
And in this May 14, 2019, Isaid, all right, God, I'm done.
(38:50):
I can't do this anymore.
But I overdosed myself on theway to the hospital, and I was Narcan,
and they saved my life.
Unfortunately, I was awake forit, but, you know, I kind of.
That helped me remember whereI didn't want to be.
And I spent the next severaldays puking every 15 minutes like
(39:13):
clockwork.
I was in an adult diaper and Iwanted to remember every minute of
it because I didn't want to doit again.
Because I knew that when Ididn't remember, I would go back
to it.
And I went to rehab at the VA.
I did a 90 day program in 30 days.
When I said, when I want to dosomething, I don't do it halfway,
(39:38):
especially when I've asked Godto help me do it, It's I'm all in.
And the one thing that I askedGod when I was in rehab, sorry, I
asked if he got me through it.
I asked him to, to let meshare my testimony, to help other
(39:59):
people that are in the samesituation as me.
Because at this point, inrehab, I'm facing losing my kids
permanently.
I am facing homelessnessbecause I don't have an income.
I spent took a year off ofwork so that I wouldn't get in trouble
that didn't work.
And I knew that when I got outof rehab, which once I did, I had
(40:20):
a huge pile of shenanigansthat I needed to get out of or work
my way out of.
And by shenanigans I meanconsequences for my sin.
Because yes, God loves me andyes, he is so merciful and faithful,
but I also have consequencesbecause he is a good father and he
(40:42):
disciplines those he loves.
And so I had to deal withthose consequences.
And there was a lot of them.
Are you looking to apply God'struth in a practical way to your
everyday life?
Stay in the Fight is a weekdaydevotional written by Sasso Mendez.
This short 3 minute read looks at.
A verse of scripture andapplies it.
To life in a very real andtransparent way.
(41:05):
Sasa's blog style writing ishumorous, relatable, and a great
way to align your thoughtswith God's word.
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(41:25):
That's StayInTheFight online.
And at one point, let's see,2020, I was facing severance.
My my first ex husband wasfiling for severance of my rights.
Okay, I might cry during thistime and it's not crying because
(41:45):
I'm sad, but crying becauseGod is so good and faithful.
So February 10th of 2020,which is actually my birthday, I
tried to kill myself because Ididn't think I could do it anymore.
And I took 90, lithium, 60,suboxone, and all the propranolol
I had in my house.
(42:06):
And I drank alcohol with itbecause I wanted it to work.
And I said goodbye to mybrother who lives in New York.
And he saved my life becausehe called my mom and told her that
she needed to either come overto my house or call 911 or whatever.
And that saved my life.
I woke up in the ICU four dayslater and I almost died.
(42:32):
I had to have multiple roundsof dialysis.
My lithium level was over 6.
I had been saving up the medsbecause the VA kept sending them
to me and I wasn't bipolar andthey'd send me three months worth
of lithium.
So as soon as I got that,that's when I took it all.
(42:53):
And I had a guy from the VA come.
This guy didn't know me from Adam.
And he's like, you know what?
What is wrong with you?
I said, what do you mean,what's wrong with me?
He's like, you only get oneshot at this life.
What are you doing?
You still have your kids.
You keep pulling stunts likethis, you're not going to have them.
(43:13):
And it was at that point thatI realized, oh, yeah, I'm still messing
up.
It may not be the same messups I'm still messing up.
And my ex would tell me,people don't get off those drugs,
yeah, you're doing okay rightnow, but you're never gonna get off
of it.
Multiple times he told me thatfamily court said that I could work
(43:36):
my relationship back with my kids.
My son, my oldest son.
He agreed to do therapy with me.
My oldest daughter did notwant to.
She wanted nothing to do withme at the time.
And she actually wrote aletter to the judge that I read.
And it was heartbreaking, butit was honest and I appreciated that.
And I had.
I wasn't mad at her at all.
(43:56):
It opened my eyes to how,like, I had made her feel.
And I kept doing the nextright thing, trying to asking God
to guide my steps.
And I was still holding on tosmoking at this point too.
But I told God I could do onething at a time because I was so
(44:19):
overwhelmed.
Told my mom that too.
She's been harp.
She was harping on me for along time about smoking.
But I was at therapy with myson and it was the week of the severance.
And the therapist was like,okay, so I'll see you on Thursday.
I said, no, that's the.
That's the day of the Severance.
(44:42):
She goes, okay, I'll see you Thursday.
I said, no, I have court.
He dropped the severance theweek of it, because I was doing the
right thing and I was doingthe therapy that I needed to do.
And I was, you know, God was.
God was doing.
It wasn't me.
(45:03):
Tell you what, if it was me,I'd be back using again.
But my daughter wanted nothingto do with it.
She wanted to be adopted byher stepmom.
And God was there.
And God held me when I madethe decision, after lots of therapy
and prayer, to voluntarilysign my rights away, because that
(45:25):
was what she needed.
So for the first time in mylife, I made a truly selfless decision
for somebody else.
And it was the hardestdecision I ever had to make.
But God held me when I wassobbing when I was signing those
papers, thinking I was nevergonna have a relationship with her
(45:46):
again.
God has mended therelationship with all my children.
Amen.
And she approached me, and wehave a great relationship.
In fact, I've been able tohelp her through a situation that
she went through that was muchlike mine.
But I wouldn't have been ableto do that had I not followed what
(46:08):
God wanted me to and give herthat freedom that.
That.
That she needed from.
From feeling like she wouldhave to live with me if her dad died.
And I went through three yearsof the program with the Board of
nursing.
I was drug testing.
It felt like I was drugtesting every other day, but I kept
(46:31):
doing it.
In fact, I was testing morefrequently than I had to because
I wanted to prove that I wasdoing the right thing and I wasn't
going to use again.
And God has just reallyblessed my life, and he's always
been there, and he.
I have had major, like, we'll see.
(46:52):
One, two, three, three or fourmajor surgeries in the last two years.
And I made sure that I was atmy mom's house and she had my meds.
And I said, okay, you need tohide them from me.
Make sure I can't find them.
Not because I thought I wasgoing to start taking them too much,
(47:14):
but because I didn't want totempt myself.
And I just kept feeling likeGod was like, you still have stuff
you need to give me.
God has freed me from sexual immorality.
He has freed me from smoking.
He freed me from smoking cold turkey.
Because I was like, I triedfor the better part of 10 years to
(47:34):
quit, and I finally just fellon my face and said, God, I need
you to take this from me,because I can't do it.
And then I found twocigarettes in my backpack.
I said, oh, no.
And I smashed them up and Ithrew them away.
And I. I am more happy today.
And I feel like I belong.
(47:56):
I don't have that.
That feeling of like, I'mmissing out on something or I'm missing
a part of me, and I don't needto date.
I've been in the Word so much more.
And I started doing servicework and getting out of myself and.
(48:20):
And helping other people andsharing the gospel with other people,
sharing my testimony withother people.
And it.
And it's been amazing just tosee how God works and.
And how, looking back, howmany times he truly saved my life.
Wow.
Oh.
(48:40):
Going back to when I was 18 or the.
The adoption paperwork.
I was allowed to get it when Iwas 18, but I snuck through my dad's
drawer when I was doing choresone day, and my parents warned me
that I probably wouldn't.
Probably wouldn't be a goodthing if I found my.
My adopted family.
(49:01):
I am the oldest of five girlson both sides, and I have a relationship
with one.
And the other ones, they justfell away.
So your mom.
Did you ever contact yourbiological mom or.
Yeah, and they did the.
I met my biological father anda biological half sister, and that
(49:24):
was.
After that, they fell off everything.
They don't talk to me.
We were friends on Facebookfor a while, and I was like, yeah,
not worth it.
I am still friends with twohalf sisters and my biological mother
on Facebook, but biologicalmom doesn't talk to me.
She is homeless, though, in.
(49:45):
In Texas.
So that's.
It would have been.
Had I not been adopted out, Iprobably would not have survived
past 18.
Wow.
So they're living a lifestyle,like, pretty much how you were living
at one point.
Yep.
Okay.
But she's in a tent on the street.
Wow.
And the only reason I wasn'thomeless was because my parents helped
(50:06):
me out.
Wow.
And I just feel like the.
The people we interview, howGod throws out lifelines, even in
our greatest trials andadversity and even when you're just
two years old, to have youadopted, knowing that he had plans
for your life.
And we don't always go thestraight way.
Right.
To the path he has for us.
(50:28):
Yeah.
But I think that's the beautyof Christianity, of being born again,
is that God, just the momentthat he got off the cross and he
was resurrected, he not gotoff the cross, but he was buried,
raised again.
That he sought out Peter, thevery man that betrayed him.
Right.
He Didn't.
There was no grudges.
There was no.
(50:49):
He welcomed him back.
And that's one of the greateststories ever told as a prodigal son,
because that's what we are.
We're.
The moment we leave, we feellike, well, God's left me, or God
doesn't want a relationshipwith me.
And he's like, I've never left.
I've been here the whole timewaiting for you to come back.
And I'll treat you just.
There's consequences.
Right?
Because that's what we look atlove like.
(51:09):
Love is, you know, I love you,but sometimes love is a spanking.
Right.
Sometimes love is, you know,don't do that again.
Like, just like he would breakthe lamb's leg so they didn't.
And he would put them on theirshoulders so they would grow close,
and then the lamb would healand then they would, you know, there
was a growth process of, youknow, being broken, to be, you know,
made whole again in him.
(51:30):
So.
Wow.
That's pretty powerful.
Yeah.
You know, I think of adoptionand we've had an episode about adoption,
and it was a brother fromchurch that was adopted.
But I think of, you know, Imean, obviously, I don't know what
it's like to be adopted.
I was, you know, I'm.
I'm biological.
My sister says I am, but Idon't think that's true.
(51:51):
But I just.
I think of the fact that weare adopted into God's family, like,
but it's by choice.
And.
Which makes it almost all themore special because they made the
choice.
God made the choice.
Jesus made the choice to adoptme into his family.
Your parents made that choiceto adopt you.
And I think that's just.
There's something specialabout that adoption, you know, when
(52:12):
we can call God Abba Father.
And it's just.
It's.
It's an amazing thought whenyou think of it, because, I mean,
I think of the things I'vedone in my life and a lot of things
I'm not proud of and sin I'veengaged in and.
But he still loves me.
And that's just.
It's mind blowing because we.
We're conditional people.
I mean, that's just how we are.
(52:33):
We're.
We're conditional.
But he's unconditional.
He has this love that's perfect.
And I don't.
I don't quite understand, butit's amazing.
You know, when kids, Kids usedto make fun of me for being adopted,
my comeback was, you know,your parents got stuck with You.
My parents picked me.
Exactly right.
Exactly 100.
(52:53):
And I think that, you know,Jesus died on the cross for my sins.
He picked me knowing that Iwas going to do all of these things.
And he still said, I love youand I choose you.
And I chose him and adopted twice.
So when.
So I know you said you.
You were brought up in churchand basically the doors were open.
(53:14):
You were there, but do youremember a time when you, you know,
you.
You put your trust in the Lord?
I mean, the.
You know, the.
The moment of salvation.
Do you remember?
First time, four years old, wewere in our old house in Modesto.
Okay.
I'm not going to say theaddress, but I still remember the
address.
I was sitting behind this old,like, 80s.
I was actually on my knees,like, bent forward, like, like with
(53:36):
my hands and face on the ground.
And that was the first time Iwas born.
I distinctly remember that.
I don't have any memoriesother than that, like, at that young
of an age.
And then multiple times inmiddle school, I re.
Asked Jesus into my heart justin case it didn't stick the first
time.
Right, right.
Or second time.
Yes, Right, right, right.
I can kind of relate to that.
I mean, I was five years old.
(53:57):
And so you.
When you get into sin andstuff, when you get into high school
and you doubt.
Yeah.
And I don't.
We were in this crazy windyroad going up to camp, and we took
the wrong road, and it was onelane each way, and there's crosses
littering this highway.
I mean, it was sketch to be to.
To say the least.
(54:17):
And I was just praying becauseI was driving and all the kids were
like, we're going to die.
You know, teenagers have notact whatsoever.
And I'm like, you keeptalking, you know that's going to
come sooner than later.
And I just feel like it's soweird when, you know, when I got
back, I was so thankful thatGod got us through that.
And I feel like at that timehe gave me clarity to say, yeah,
you were saved when you werefive years old.
(54:39):
And just that conviction thatcomes when you do wrong.
And sometimes you go throughperiods where you're sinning and
you feel nothing.
And then there's other timeswhen you're like, wow, like, I've
gone really far further than Iever thought I ever would.
Like, I can't believe I'm in this.
And he brings the thought toyour mind, like, hey, what are you
doing?
Like, you're still my childand, you know, come back.
(55:02):
So just powerful testimony.
I've never heard it before.
And I know you started comingto Freedom that last at the times
when we didn't have it.
And we have it 52 times a year.
And the first time you came,there was a women's conference.
And I know I took you overthere and you saw all these women.
And you're, like, way too intimidating.
Yeah.
All these smiling women who,like, had their arms open wanting
(55:23):
to hug.
That was scary.
That's right.
My.
My wife's similar.
She's like.
She's a bunch of women.
She's like, I'm good.
I'm not a hugger, you know?
No, no, my b.
Knows.
I'm working on it.
I'm a hugger.
That's just.
That's just me.
But, you know, so is Tony.
He hugs everybody at Freedomto last, pretty much.
Oh, yeah, not me.
No shame.
I have the rusty and scaryface, so, like, I think I scare away
(55:44):
people from.
From hugging me.
Except Rebecca.
She don't care.
No, she hugs everybody.
Like she has a.
A compassionate heart.
Yeah.
Like, she truly, while sheloved me, so just loves people.
She says you have mean face.
Yeah, she says I have a meanface, which is a nice way to say
you're ugly.
She's like, you just have amean face.
(56:04):
Your face is mean.
I'm like, you know, just like,you go to the park to pass all tracks
and, like, we don't want no trouble.
I'm like, I don't want trouble either.
I'm just trying to bite you to freedom.
I just want to give you awater, bro.
I want to give you water inthe track.
That's it.
Well, thank you for sharingand being vulnerable.
And I think there's, you know,there's a brother that came to Freedom
the last.
A year ago that is battlingaddiction, and, you know, it was
(56:28):
alcohol, and now it's, youknow, turned into a meth addiction.
And that's kind of what he says.
Like, I. I know I need tostop, and I. I'm ready to come on
Friday, and then I give in,and then I don't feel like I'm, you
know, right to come and.
Well, that's the thing, right?
I mean, you.
You.
You don't, you know, you don'tclean yourself up before you jump
(56:48):
in the shower.
I mean, you just.
You come as you are.
I mean, you have to, because there's.
There's no other way.
You're not going to cleanyourself up.
You can't clean yourself up.
You need God's help.
It's impossible.
It's impossible to cleanyourself up.
We can't.
Yeah.
And his strength is madeperfect in our weakness.
And those are the times wherewhen I came naked and dirty and gross
(57:08):
before God and just fell on myface and begged him to free these,
these addictions from me.
That was when he.
He wore his work was.
I can't think the words.
But that's when he really,really helped me out.
Well, it's, it's that humility.
Right?
You come, you're humbled, right.
You come in humility.
And I think that's plays off that.
Verse to the humble.
(57:30):
That.
And I can do all things toChrist because he's talking about,
you know, having, being, being humble.
He knows how to be, you know,abundant and not, you know, and,
and, and, but it's thathumility and, and that's how you
have strength.
Because you, you come to theLord humbly and he gives you that
strength.
It's not done in your own power.
And that verse is misconstruedwildly through.
Like Tim Tebow, you know,through sports.
(57:51):
It's written through a 60 yard spiral.
Yeah, yeah, that's.
I'll never do that.
I won't even try.
No, no.
But he, he gives you, he yougives, gives you strength abundantly.
Not physically, but spiritually.
When I think of that verse, Ithink he gives us things abundantly
to do.
Right.
Yeah, right.
That he gives us the strengthto do what he's called us to do.
(58:12):
That even though we live inthis world where there's temptation
everywhere.
Yeah.
It's not beyond his help, hisdivine help to help us like we learned
in freedom the last coupleweeks ago.
Divine help to help us.
Like, I'll give you whateveryou need to.
Greater is he that is in youthan he that is in the world.
You know, we're.
Send it abound.
Grace did much more abound.
(58:32):
I'm giving you that grace thatexceeds the sin level.
Just put your feet down andtrust in me.
And I think so many times weflail and I'll tell you this story
because I like to tellstories, but we were at Golfland
back in the day and you know,I wasn't a great swimmer, but I could
swim.
And we came down the slidesand my buddy was drowning and I was
(58:54):
like, he was really like, hewas going under and I just got so
mad at him.
I'm like, stand up, stand up.
And so he stood up and he'slike coughing everywhere.
And I didn't realize it was,it was, it wasn't that Deep.
I'm like, you're an idiot.
So I could have died.
I said, well, then stand up.
Like, what's wrong with you?
And many times that's where,you know, like this picture we have
(59:15):
here, that God's reaching outto us and we're trying to do it on
our own and we're just failing.
And he just says, just comeunto me, right, all you that labor
and heavy laden, and I willgive you rest, you know, take my
yoke upon you.
Just powerful verses.
And I'm just so grateful thathe is a loving God and that he's
restored you.
I love.
I love what you said about dothe next right thing.
(59:39):
I love that because it's.
It's a.
It's that life of obedienceand it's, you know, it's one step
at a time.
And got the word says, youknow, God blesses you with new mercies
every morning.
And he.
He has that a grace that'sabounding, but it's that next step,
that next right step.
What do you.
What's next, the next right step?
Because it can be overwhelmingsometimes, you know, trying to have
(01:00:01):
it all together.
And, you know, I know when Iwent to.
When I first started going to.
To the church, you know, and.
And you know, I looked at allthese people and, you know, they're
dressed really nice, they havereally nice smiles, you know, just
a bunch of pretty people.
And I'm thinking to myself,man, I'm the only sinner in this
room.
Like.
And I'm not kidding.
That's literally what I was thinking.
You know, I was like, man, I'mjust like, dirty center.
(01:00:22):
And look at all these nice people.
And you soon find out that,you know, they're just as dirty as
you are, but, yeah, dirtier.
Thank God.
Yeah.
So.
But it's just that those newmercies every day that God meets
you with, and it's.
It's amazing how he does that.
He meets.
He meets you, you right whereyou are.
You just have to come humblyto him.
You just surrender to him.
And that's all it is.
(01:00:42):
And the Lord looks at the heart.
Thank God.
Amen.
Right?
Yep.
Well, it's also says peoplejudge our outside.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
Yeah.
Sorry about the face.
That's what you gave me.
I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.
So don't.
Don't blame me.
Praise the Lord.
I had nothing to do with this.
Amen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So any partying?
Go ahead, Ben.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
Any parting wisdom if there'ssomebody out there, some.
(01:01:04):
If you could talk to yourself,you know, looking back and say, give
yourself some wisdom.
When you were, you know, 18,17, what would be like, what would
you say?
What would you.
What would you tell yourself?
God works all things togetherfor the good of those who.
Who love him and are calledaccording to his purpose and to Not.
To not give up, because Goddoesn't give up on you and that you
(01:01:27):
are worth it.
You are unique, and you doonly get one shot at this life.
And God's gonna be there foryou no matter what.
You just turn to him and youfollow after him and you can get
through it.
It's gonna be hard.
Yep.
It's gonna be very hard at times.
Yeah.
And that's okay.
He promises that we're gonnahave tribulation.
(01:01:47):
Yeah.
But he also promises that ifhe's gonna give us a way of escape,
like when we are tempted.
Right.
Amen.
Amen.
For a short moment, right?
Yeah.
100.
This, too shall pass.
Yeah.
Amen.
Amen.
I'm already gonna be 50.
I'm not quite there yet.
I'm.
I'm trailing.
(01:02:07):
It's mid-70s over here.
Yeah, mid-70s over here.
Sorry.
All right.
Well, we really appreciate youcoming on the show, Christy, and.
And sharing that.
That was.
That was pretty heavy.
But, you know, I really thinkthat God's going to use this to.
Amen.
To reach somebody that's maybehaving some similar experiences that
you are ready to give up andto give hope, because that's really
what it comes down to.
(01:02:27):
I had a. I've talked aboutthis on the show before.
I had a business partner fellinto alcoholism, and without going
into the whole story, he endedup committing suicide because he
lost that hope.
And it's just.
It's.
It's so sad.
But I hope that this.
This podcast episode will.
Will help somebody that's outthere or if you're listening and,
you know, somebody that's, youknow, dealing with some of these
(01:02:48):
types of issues and.
And, you know, just feelinghopeless, like, share this.
Share this message with them.
That's kind of the whole.
Whole reason we're doing this podcast.
It's the purpose of it.
We're definitely not in it forthe money because, you know, we're
definitely not Joe Rogan.
But.
But please share it out there.
And.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you for having me, andthank you, everybody.
Please subscribe and we'll seeyou in the next episode.
(01:03:10):
Bye for now.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Thank you for listening to theAbundant Life Podcast.
We pray you were blessed bytoday, today's episode.
Please visit us online atAbundantLife FM.
Until next time.
May God bless you.
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