November 10, 2023 • 27 mins
Where would we be without the unpredictability of the acting world? Tiwana Floyd shares her personal insights on the recent SAG After Strike resolution. It's been a whirlwind of emotions, transitioning back to 'normal, with a new commercial booking, after a 13-month dry spell!
The adventures don't stop there. Tiwana leaps into the world of auditions, agents, and on-set dynamics, the challenging process of commercial shooting and the significance of knowing the director you're working with. I'll also share my thoughts on the pandemic's impact, introducing an unexpected opportunity for actors to create their own content.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey, there, it's Tawanna Floyd.
Welcome to Acting LessonsLearned.
If you're new here, I share thelessons I've learned and still
learning as a working actor inHollywood and I hope my stories
help you to prosper on youractor journey.
This is Episode 134 and I'mcelebrating the SAG After A
Strike is over which I don'tknow how I feel about that just
(00:23):
yet.
It just feels I don't know, itdoesn't.
I'm not comfortable with howeasy the resolve was.
Well, actually, let me takethat back, because it wasn't
easy.
It was 118 days.
But what I speak of is justlike you just make the
announcement that the strike isover and then it's over, and so
that part is like unsettling forme.
(00:44):
I have to figure out how toprocess it.
This is my first union strike,so I don't know how we come back
into it.
But it just seems like I don'tknow.
We've been stressed out anduncertain and down and sad and
some of us even depressed for118 days, and now, all of a
(01:04):
sudden we're back to normal,kind of.
And you know the union has beentelling us don't believe
anything you hear, wait for usfirst.
But the way I found out was onthe news at five o'clock and
then at seven o'clock, I got theemail that we were no longer
striking.
So you know, maybe because thisis my first strike, I don't
(01:28):
know how to handle it, and soI'm processing those feelings.
And I know today they're goingto talk about the interim
contract that's going to beratified, so I'm not going to
deal with that part too much,but instead I'm going to talk
about the commercial that Ibooked earlier this month.
Yay, yay, I'm very happy.
(01:50):
I'm always happy when I book ajob.
But also there's a little moreperk in my happiness because
it's been 13 months since mylast commercial booking.
For the past 10 years, I'veprided myself on booking at
least three nationals a year.
Most times I hit that goal, andthen there are a few times when
I've exceeded that goal, butthree, the magic number, has
(02:13):
been the sweet spot.
That grants me enough money tolive without struggle for
another 365 days, and it fundsmy pension and health insurance,
which is also very important.
Now, for the past two years, itfeels like I've been in a work
desert.
I have experienced this beforeand I've been able to adjust by
(02:34):
identifying the cause, such asmaybe I need to take a refresher
course, or maybe it's due tothings that's not in my control,
like an increase in non-unionwork or the inequity of how
actresses of color are left outof the hiring pool.
But I gotta tell you something13 months, that's unusual for me
and it's concerning.
(02:54):
And we've gotta give a shoutout to New Media, because she's
the new queen that's changingthe advertising landscape
drastically and quickly.
New Media has made it much moredifficult for actors like
myself to continue to earn aliving solely from commercials,
and the national commercialhasn't gone away completely, but
(03:15):
the usage and the longevity arenot what they used to be.
I've been taking the temperatureof what's happening right now
because you know that's what wedo as actors, right, when we
aren't working, we ask around tolearn if it's industry-wide or
if it's just our experience.
And if it's our experience,what can we do?
But if it's industry-wide, wereally don't know what to do
(03:36):
because there really is nocontrol there.
And I've been conversing withother actresses of varying races
and ages and the consensus frommy SAG After Commercial Mom
community is that what'shappening now, this kind of
desert, this dry spell, isindustry-wide.
It's affecting us all.
Something new is definitelyunfolding and many of us don't
(04:00):
know how to prepare or tocircumvent it, or even if it's
avoidable.
But at the same time, there aresome of my peers with multiple
spots airing right now.
So there are opportunitiesthere, just not in the abundance
that it used to be Like.
I wonder what else could it be?
I mean, of course we have toinclude the writer strike that
(04:20):
preceded the actor strike.
Maybe advertisers aren'twilling to shoot commercials
without the promise of a newfall lineup and, like I said,
new media bears culpability,driving us away people at large
from watching traditional TVwhere the advertisers are.
I feel like I've gone off on atangent, but welcome to my
thoughts.
These are the things I thinkwhen I'm trying to figure out
(04:43):
this business, and the pot isalways being stirred by the
AMPTP and sometimes they're notalways sure what they're
stirring up.
I was deluded into thinkingthat I had diversified my little
entertainment portfolio, thatthose commercials past, present
and future would be enough forsustainability.
For the rest of my life themajority of my income has been
(05:06):
connected to acting orperforming in Hollywood.
So I've got to make changes,and what prompted me to really
come to this realization was inSeptember and October.
I started having sleeplessnights because I knew I was fast
approaching the finalwithdrawals of the savings I'd
been living on for the past 13months, and I'm a sound sleeper.
(05:30):
So when I start getting joltedup from my sleep with worry,
this is something for me to payattention to.
It's a scary feeling.
I was certain I'd be okayduring this time and I have been
doing well, don't get me wrong.
I've been so fortunate.
I survived the pandemic withouta worry, and that's not a
humble brag in passing, Like Ilegit thought I had a handle on
(05:53):
this disloyal industry.
It has been incredibly sobering, I think for us all.
I have a friend who does hair.
She's recognizing that sheinvested all of her energy in
entertainment.
I have another friend who's ascript supervisor, another
friend who's a director.
We've put everything intoentertainment, the dream,
(06:13):
believing that this will alwayssustain us, and it's showing us
more clearly than ever that it'snot.
And we've got to wake up orI'll speak for myself.
I'm waking up to figure outwhat's next.
And how do I be an actor butalso be outside of Hollywood,
working as well?
And I don't mean quittingbecause Hollywood is going to do
(06:34):
what it does.
I'm not going to let it run meout of town.
I know that's how most peoplefeel.
I think that what I'm feelingnow is probably what most people
who work in Hollywood feel, butwe're just unwilling to stop
and we're unwilling to let thistown or let the industry take
away our ability to perform, tocreate, to do the thing that we
(06:55):
came to do.
So I'm not going to stop, butwhat I am talking about is
autonomy, and I think I've beentalking about autonomy since I
started this podcast, which thisis part of my creativity.
It's IP that I created, and nowthat we have the platforms like
YouTube and Vimeo and socialmedia, I don't really have to
(07:15):
rely so heavily on Hollywood tosay yes to me.
I can continue to say yes tomyself and just really start
putting things, putting action,putting my creativity into the
world on my own, because I knowhow to print, I know how to
write, I know how to record, Iknow how to film not a
cinematographer, not a DP, butenough to enter film festivals
(07:39):
and I also know how to edit andkind of like score music.
That's not true.
I don't know how to score music.
I don't know how to do music.
You know what I mean.
Overall, what I'm saying is Iam no longer willing to wait on
this industry to affirm mytalent.
That has been the through lineof this podcast over and over
again, and I've talked about it,and now it's time for me to be
(08:01):
about it.
And so, going back to Septemberand October, when I was being
jarred out of my sleep from fear, there was one night where I
was awakened like couldn't catchmy breath.
I had a low-key panic attack inmy sleep that caused me to get
my ass out of bed and startfiguring out what was my next
move, not just for now, but forthe rest of my life.
(08:23):
And the first thing I did waslie on the floor on my back for
a deep breathing, and then Ibegan holding my breath to
regulate my body and dissipatethe fear and anxiety in my
stomach.
And I was reminded girl, you'vebeen here before, in 2007 and
2008, during the last strike,and I realized that I learned
(08:44):
something from that time and wasdoing something right, because
I wasn't in the same predicament.
This time wasn't as detrimentalas the last time.
I began to tell myself righthere, right now, tawanna.
Right here, right now,everything is okay.
Right here, right now, in thismoment, right here, everything
is okay, and I repeated it overand over like a mantra and when
(09:08):
I calmed down I received anintuitive hit that steered me to
casting networks to see ifthere was any paid jobs that I
could submit for that were notstruck companies.
I saw breakdowns for audiencework, background work for small
unstruck films and print work.
And then I saw commercialbreakdown for principles for a
role I was right for, which wasodd, because usually commercial
(09:31):
breakdowns with principle rolesgo straight to agents and if a
commercial is listed on castingnetworks looking for principles,
they're like looking for, likean amputee or someone who's
seven feet tall or maybe twinsor something like that.
But no, this commercial was aautomobile spot and they were
looking for security guards inmy age range Now, security cops,
(09:55):
detectives that's my wheelhouse.
Matter of fact, I think 75% ofmy TV credits are some form of
cop, security or authoritativerole.
So I looked at the usage andthe union affiliation.
It was SAG-AFTRA, cable SpanishNetwork, digital Streaming,
theatrical, 30-day dealer, butnot a Class A, and a Class A is
(10:16):
what makes the commercialnational.
That's when it's airing in allof the markets.
So when a national commercialairs and it starts its run.
The checks come in like everyweek and they're pretty juicy,
like they're life-changing, butwith Cable you get like a lump
sum but I think it's like every21 weeks.
Digital would be a lump sum forlike six to 12 months and
(10:38):
that's a couple of thousand, andI don't know what the Spanish
language market is like, ortheatrical 30.
I don't know those rates.
So I hesitated on whether tosubmit, because automobile spots
that run Class A can bring insubstantial residual payouts for
as long as they run Cable anddigital usage could be a
fraction of that income.
(10:59):
And if I were to book the job Iwould hold a two-year
contractual conflict, meaning Iwouldn't be able to audition for
any other automobilecommercials until this contract
was complete, which is typicallytwo years.
I considered sending thebreakdown to my agent, but it
was after hours, way after hours, and I know how agents are
funny about actors submitting.
(11:19):
But it's my back that's gettingclose to being against the wall
.
And something led me here.
I felt like, worst casescenario, I'd get an audition or
not.
But if I booked it I couldpossibly still audition for this
automobile company if a Class Aappeared in the breakdowns.
So I submitted and I added myagent's info to the notes so
(11:41):
that they would be in the mixand my small panic attack had
subsided.
I was calm.
I went back to sleep.
Over the next two weeks Ireceived several unrelated
commercial auditions from mycommercial agents.
I had a few callbacks and thenwas put on a veil for one.
Then the following week I wasreleased.
Now I didn't feel defeated thistime because I knew I had
(12:04):
offered some great choices inthat audition and the callback
and I tried to be content withthat instead of getting sad.
It was on to the next one, asthe agents always say.
And then I received a self-tapefor the automobile commercial,
but there was no mention of myagent.
I immediately forwarded theaudition to them asking how to
proceed, and if you haven'tlistened to my most recent
(12:26):
episodes, I've been with thisagent for about five months now,
so we're new, we're stilllearning each other.
They inquired if I hadself-submitted and I replied yes
.
They said that they wouldinform casting on their end and
then they requested that Irefrain from self-submitting as
it could lead to doublesubmissions and frustrate the
casting director.
Then they offered that I couldinform them of jobs that
(12:47):
interested me or let them knowof any special skills they
needed to help make moresubmissions happen.
I agreed and I want to sayreally quickly like if they were
ineffective I would have aproblem with them telling me not
to submit myself, but thus farthey have been really great with
the type of auditions they'vesubmitted me for.
So I'm not going to make wavesand I trust them and if I'm in
(13:09):
this space again I'll just askthem to submit me if they
haven't already.
Now a little side note.
I know some of my peers feelthat if they get a job without
their agent's help, the agentdoesn't deserve a commission.
And a lot of times I have a lotof friends who actually will
not tell their agents that theybooked a job or pay them
commission.
And I feel like this thinking.
I think it's bad business, Ithink it's flawed, because when
(13:32):
you think about it, agentssubmit us for jobs sometimes for
several years without earning acommission from us because we
haven't booked a job.
But they believe in us.
So they continue to keep us onthe roster because they know one
day we will book and we'll book.
Often they understand theindustry and they understand it
may take us a while to find ourstride because they've had years
(13:53):
of experience of knowing whowill one day do well.
They can pinpoint it.
That's why they bring us on andsign us.
So when we book commercials orwe get auditions, whether on our
own or from an industry friendI just think it's important to
inform your agents, because oneyou want them to negotiate the
deal.
Commercial bookings are socomplicated, there's a lot of
(14:15):
intricacies to it and yourcommercial agent knows what's
best in terms of getting thehigher amount of money, in terms
of getting less edit.
There's all types of things.
And if you don't know aboutyour conflicts and you audition
for something where you alreadyhave a conflict floor, you're
really putting yourself in a badposition to possibly be sued by
production if you book it.
But also, I want everybody towin.
(14:38):
If anybody is on my team, ifwe're working together, I want
them to have the commission forall the work they've put in on
my behalf, because I'mcontractually obligated to pay
them a commission for everycommercial I book within this
state.
So it's just anyone who's doingtheir agents dirty.
Don't be surprised if they findout, because what happens in
the dark always comes out in thelight.
(14:59):
And do you really want to risksullying the relationship or
being sued because you signed acontract, and I realize a lot of
my peers don't even know whatthey signed.
So when I have friends come tome and they say, hey, tawana,
I'm thinking about leaving myagent, the first thing I say is
well, what does your contractsay?
Can you leave now?
Have you booked something inthe past four months?
(15:20):
Is there an out clause?
And a lot of times they're likeoh, I don't know.
It's very important to payattention to these things.
I believe in doing goodbusiness and good faith and
respecting the law ofreciprocity.
I receive what I put out.
Okay, that's my TED Talk.
Thank you for coming.
I'm going to move on.
So for the automobile commercial, I submitted my self-tape and
(15:40):
after about I'd say, two weeks Ireceived a callback.
And a callback was interestingbecause they had moved the time
up.
And whenever they moved thetime up, I'm always like, oh,
did they already find the personthat they want and now they
just need to get through us andmove on?
I don't know.
There could be a whole heap ofreasons of why they moved the
time up.
I'll never know because I'm notprivy to that information, but
(16:01):
I just made sure that I didn'tgive up when I got there.
I made sure that I still wentin there and did my best work
and I booked the job.
So this was mid-September andwe were scheduled to shoot the
second week in October.
I was so happy that this13-month dry spell was over, you
know.
So I show up gracious when I'mon set.
(16:22):
I'm not the one who's trying tocozy up to the director or the
client or the agency.
I'm cordial yet professional.
I'm not one with the wittybanter or trying to crack jokes.
This is business.
Everybody is busy.
It's stressful for everyone,especially the director, because
on the day of the shoot thedirector has to manage the
(16:43):
entire set and all the peopleworking on it.
He or she or they needs to makeeverything run smoothly and
fulfill upon what they promisedto the client.
So they don't really needactors trying to be besties.
And, quite frankly, I have mybestie when I get to set.
I adapt to the energy of theset.
Every commercial shoot is unique, mainly because every director
(17:06):
has their own way of directing.
There is no telling what typeof personality I will encounter
on set, so I kind of likeprepare myself.
I take the temperature, I readthe room like a comedian does
and I follow the lead of howeveryone else is doing things.
Some directors are friendly,compassionate and collaborative.
They have excellentcommunication skills and can
(17:28):
convey their vision to actorsusing descriptive language that
we can easily understand andtranslate into action.
Unfortunately, these types ofdirectors are few and far in
between.
You've noticed that newerdirectors tend to have these
qualities or notable featurefilm directors who work with
celebrity actors, collaboratingto bring the vision to life.
They also embody these traits.
(17:50):
What I find mostly are thecommercial directors who are
kind of like curmudgeonly fussybuckets, a little rude, running
the set like a military drillsergeant who expects the actors
to read their minds, who wantseverybody to call him sir, yes,
sir.
It's a little uncomfortable forme and at first I used to get
(18:11):
defensive and match theiraggression with aggression.
I no longer do that becauseit's exhausting for me.
But I will be assertive andstand my ground.
Look them in the eye.
I don't shy away because Iwon't be bullied and I demand
respect.
I watch a lot of my actor peerstry to win these types of
directors over and it's alwaysto the actor's detriment because
(18:31):
it gives the director moreammunition to ignore us or to
mistreat us or to disrespect usor to bulldoze us or to like,
take jabs at our craft.
And I watch my peers get theirfeelings hurt and it's like I
wish we would stop doing that.
I wish we would just stand inour autonomy because we deserve
to be there.
We got the job and now come anddo our work and leave.
(18:53):
There's an old interview withGeorge Clooney I believe it was
on the actor's studio where hetalks about why he doesn't work
with directors who are assholesand how he had to call out a bad
behaving director who waspurposely trying to make an
actor's job hard in front ofGeorge.
And this is why the term theactor's director exists and why
actors, especially those likeGeorge Clooney or Denzel
(19:14):
Washington or you name any bigstar actor choose to only work
with certain directors.
On this commercial audition Igot the old school curmudgeon
guy who was just brass tacks butalso very gruff, and because I
was the only principal openingthe first scene of the day, I
discovered that director wasloud and incomprehensible and a
(19:36):
bad communicator very quicklyand I had to listen carefully to
understand him.
It was difficult at first, butI knew how to handle such
behavior Because although he wasgruff, he wasn't disrespectful
and he talked to everyone in thesame manner.
So it wasn't personal.
And besides, I was too happy tobe back on set working to be
rattled by anyone.
Nobody's going to steal my joy.
(19:57):
But one of the other principalswas feeling the pressure
because she was trying to cracklittle jokey jokes and went him
over.
And you know, I just find thatcurmudgeons.
They lose respect for those whotry to be nice.
I think they see it or read itas disingenuous and they're not
interested in it.
But also, the dude had a fullschedule.
He had over 30 backgroundperformers, three adult
(20:20):
principals and one kid.
There were cars involved beingdriven forward and reversed and
forward and reversed.
Safety, timing and getting theshots were paramount.
Commercials are hard work and Ithink people that don't work
them often don't know that ordon't realize that.
And I'm here to tell youcommercials are work.
They had a very tight scheduleand when they got to the child
(20:41):
actor it was scheduled that thechild actor would have been done
before lunch but he wasn't.
It took a long time beforelunch and a long time after
lunch.
The kid was losing energy and Iwas up after the kid.
I knew they were behindschedule and I knew they would
expect me to nail all the takesto get them back on schedule.
It's a huge responsibility andfull transparency.
(21:04):
I don't know that I nailed everytake, but I kept adjusting to
the badly communicated redirectsand saying copy that, copy, no
chit chat, no whole bunch of oh.
I was just trying to up.
Maybe you said no straight toit One time.
The director told me he didn'tbelieve me, that I looked
sluggish and I took that in fora moment, like, but I thought
(21:24):
the direction was, I wassupposed to be exhausted, so I
made a quick decision and I shotback quickly, do you mean with
conviction?
He said yeah.
So I went through anotherseries of takes and finally he
said, yeah, that was better.
I guess that was his way ofcomplimenting.
I don't know, I'm not in hishead, but I'm not going to let
it affect me.
Because after that he spokewith video village and he said
(21:46):
and they shouted new deal.
And they shouted new deal,which meant they were moving on.
Neither the director nor thefirst AD said goodbye to me or
the other actor and we werewrapped.
And there's even moments inthat where I feel away because
it's like, dude, we just workedtogether.
You can say goodbye.
But no, I have to recognize thetype of director that I'm
(22:07):
working with and expect nothingmore and keep it pushing.
And again, I was too happy thatmy 13 month dry spell was
broken, even though it was acurmudgeon director, whatever,
I'm happy.
So now I'll wait and see whatthe final looks like.
As one of my previous commercialagents would always remind us,
(22:27):
she would say you can onlyexpect the session fee.
Don't count the residuals untilthey're in the bank, because
anything can happen Outgrades,downgrades.
The commercial may never seethe light of day.
I look forward to receiving mysession fee.
It's another check that goesinto my savings that lets me
survive another day.
And one thing I know for sureis the commercial will be
(22:50):
beautifully shot.
Because what I found out after Ilooked the director up when I
got home that evening is he's acinematographer who is a
director.
But he's a cinematographerfirst because that's what his
bio said, and then it all madesense, because cinematographers
don't typically deal with talent.
So how would they possibly knowhow to really communicate with
(23:12):
us unless they actually soughtout doing that?
They don't have the bedsidemanner, and these are the things
that we should know when we'reworking with someone, so that we
don't take things so personally.
So, now that the strike is over, as I said earlier, everything
remains to be seen and we'rehoping or I'm hoping, no, we're
(23:34):
all hoping that we can get backto work soon.
I have a feeling things aregoing to be really robust, and
the one thing I heard somebodyspeak on today on Instagram I
don't know her name off the topof my head, someone shared it
with me, but she talked abouthow there are people who are
going straight back to workbecause they had jobs before the
(23:54):
strike, and then there arethose of us who will not be
going straight to work.
And so for us to be gentle withourselves, because here we were
when we were striking, we wereunified, we were together, and
now we kind of have thisseparation to deal with again.
But in all of this, between thestrike, the lockdown, the
(24:18):
pandemic, there's something herethat's birthing, that's
unfolding, that's birthing forall of us to see that it's time
for us to figure out what it isthat we truly want to do and how
to go about it withoutconstraints, without constantly
having to wait for someone torecognize us and say yes to us.
Yeah, we will do that as well.
(24:41):
Sure, because that is Hollywood.
But we are in the prime time ofcreating our own content and,
with that said, this is the lastepisode of Acting Lessons
Learned for 2023.
It will come back in 2024.
I'm thinking mid-January.
I've been wanting to start myYouTube channel for a while.
(25:03):
I initially called it ActorBusiness School, but that feels
really formal to me and it feelsacademic, and I really want to
be able to feel like I'm talkingto my peers and we're learning
together as I share informationand insights, and so I'm going
to continue to keep the name ofAct lessons learned.
It will live on YouTube.
(25:24):
You can go there now andsubscribe if you want to, if you
want to already be attached toit once I start launching
episodes or videos, and thenwhat I'll do is anything that I
find pertinent.
I will turn it into a podcastfor all of my people who listen
while driving, because then Iwant to be able to keep both
(25:44):
platforms, to be able tocontinue to create my own IP in
the video form and the audioform.
Video was really my thing.
I do good here on audio as well, I have to say for myself, but
I do like video.
So that is what's next you canlook forward to hearing from
acting lessons learned inJanuary of 2024.
(26:06):
I'm thinking the third week ofJanuary and that's going to be
on YouTube, but also I'm stillon Instagram and I've moved away
from doing my videos there fora little bit because I've just
been overwhelmed in my systems,which is like not in place.
So I'm going to take this timeto put my systems in place and
I'll be back with content,sharing all types of stories and
(26:26):
all types of knowledge that Ihope that you'll continue to
find helpful and I hope that youwill join me on in the future.
So do I wish you a happyThanksgiving and a merry
Christmas and a happy New Yearright now?
Yeah, yeah, I do.
I wish you all of those things,and you know, if you see me in
the streets, I was up, and ifnot, I'll see you soon.
(26:47):
Be well, thank you forlistening.
Acting lessons learned startedas a blog in 2014 and I wanted
to turn it into a podcast, andlast year, may of 2022, it
became a podcast, and here I ama year later, consistently
putting it out.
There have been some weekswhere I've been a little slow,
like this.
This was supposed to air lastweek, but I'm still here and I'm
(27:10):
still pushing through.
But now I'm going to take sometime off to put some systems in
place and, plus, we might beworking soon, I hope.
Yeah, we're going to be working.
I'm going to claim that we'regoing to be working.
You, I'm talking to you.
You're going to be working Allright, so take care and until
next time, bye.
Hey, there, it's Tawanna Floyd.
Welcome to Acting LessonsLearned.
If you're new here, I share thelessons I've learned and still
learning as a working actor inHollywood and I hope my stories
help you to prosper on youractor journey.
This is Episode 134 and I'mcelebrating the SAG After A
Strike is over which I don'tknow how I feel about that just
(00:23):
yet.
It just feels I don't know, itdoesn't.
I'm not comfortable with howeasy the resolve was.
Well, actually, let me takethat back, because it wasn't
easy.
It was 118 days.
But what I speak of is justlike you just make the
announcement that the strike isover and then it's over, and so
that part is like unsettling forme.
(00:44):
I have to figure out how toprocess it.
This is my first union strike,so I don't know how we come back
into it.
But it just seems like I don'tknow.
We've been stressed out anduncertain and down and sad and
some of us even depressed for118 days, and now, all of a
(01:04):
sudden we're back to normal,kind of.
And you know the union has beentelling us don't believe
anything you hear, wait for usfirst.
But the way I found out was onthe news at five o'clock and
then at seven o'clock, I got theemail that we were no longer
striking.
So you know, maybe because thisis my first strike, I don't
(01:28):
know how to handle it, and soI'm processing those feelings.
And I know today they're goingto talk about the interim
contract that's going to beratified, so I'm not going to
deal with that part too much,but instead I'm going to talk
about the commercial that Ibooked earlier this month.
Yay, yay, I'm very happy.
(01:50):
I'm always happy when I book ajob.
But also there's a little moreperk in my happiness because
it's been 13 months since mylast commercial booking.
For the past 10 years, I'veprided myself on booking at
least three nationals a year.
Most times I hit that goal, andthen there are a few times when
I've exceeded that goal, butthree, the magic number, has
(02:13):
been the sweet spot.
That grants me enough money tolive without struggle for
another 365 days, and it fundsmy pension and health insurance,
which is also very important.
Now, for the past two years, itfeels like I've been in a work
desert.
I have experienced this beforeand I've been able to adjust by
(02:34):
identifying the cause, such asmaybe I need to take a refresher
course, or maybe it's due tothings that's not in my control,
like an increase in non-unionwork or the inequity of how
actresses of color are left outof the hiring pool.
But I gotta tell you something13 months, that's unusual for me
and it's concerning.
(02:54):
And we've gotta give a shoutout to New Media, because she's
the new queen that's changingthe advertising landscape
drastically and quickly.
New Media has made it much moredifficult for actors like
myself to continue to earn aliving solely from commercials,
and the national commercialhasn't gone away completely, but
(03:15):
the usage and the longevity arenot what they used to be.
I've been taking the temperatureof what's happening right now
because you know that's what wedo as actors, right, when we
aren't working, we ask around tolearn if it's industry-wide or
if it's just our experience.
And if it's our experience,what can we do?
But if it's industry-wide, wereally don't know what to do
(03:36):
because there really is nocontrol there.
And I've been conversing withother actresses of varying races
and ages and the consensus frommy SAG After Commercial Mom
community is that what'shappening now, this kind of
desert, this dry spell, isindustry-wide.
It's affecting us all.
Something new is definitelyunfolding and many of us don't
(04:00):
know how to prepare or tocircumvent it, or even if it's
avoidable.
But at the same time, there aresome of my peers with multiple
spots airing right now.
So there are opportunitiesthere, just not in the abundance
that it used to be Like.
I wonder what else could it be?
I mean, of course we have toinclude the writer strike that
(04:20):
preceded the actor strike.
Maybe advertisers aren'twilling to shoot commercials
without the promise of a newfall lineup and, like I said,
new media bears culpability,driving us away people at large
from watching traditional TVwhere the advertisers are.
I feel like I've gone off on atangent, but welcome to my
thoughts.
These are the things I thinkwhen I'm trying to figure out
(04:43):
this business, and the pot isalways being stirred by the
AMPTP and sometimes they're notalways sure what they're
stirring up.
I was deluded into thinkingthat I had diversified my little
entertainment portfolio, thatthose commercials past, present
and future would be enough forsustainability.
For the rest of my life themajority of my income has been
(05:06):
connected to acting orperforming in Hollywood.
So I've got to make changes,and what prompted me to really
come to this realization was inSeptember and October.
I started having sleeplessnights because I knew I was fast
approaching the finalwithdrawals of the savings I'd
been living on for the past 13months, and I'm a sound sleeper.
(05:30):
So when I start getting joltedup from my sleep with worry,
this is something for me to payattention to.
It's a scary feeling.
I was certain I'd be okayduring this time and I have been
doing well, don't get me wrong.
I've been so fortunate.
I survived the pandemic withouta worry, and that's not a
humble brag in passing, Like Ilegit thought I had a handle on
(05:53):
this disloyal industry.
It has been incredibly sobering, I think for us all.
I have a friend who does hair.
She's recognizing that sheinvested all of her energy in
entertainment.
I have another friend who's ascript supervisor, another
friend who's a director.
We've put everything intoentertainment, the dream,
(06:13):
believing that this will alwayssustain us, and it's showing us
more clearly than ever that it'snot.
And we've got to wake up orI'll speak for myself.
I'm waking up to figure outwhat's next.
And how do I be an actor butalso be outside of Hollywood,
working as well?
And I don't mean quittingbecause Hollywood is going to do
(06:34):
what it does.
I'm not going to let it run meout of town.
I know that's how most peoplefeel.
I think that what I'm feelingnow is probably what most people
who work in Hollywood feel, butwe're just unwilling to stop
and we're unwilling to let thistown or let the industry take
away our ability to perform, tocreate, to do the thing that we
(06:55):
came to do.
So I'm not going to stop, butwhat I am talking about is
autonomy, and I think I've beentalking about autonomy since I
started this podcast, which thisis part of my creativity.
It's IP that I created, and nowthat we have the platforms like
YouTube and Vimeo and socialmedia, I don't really have to
(07:15):
rely so heavily on Hollywood tosay yes to me.
I can continue to say yes tomyself and just really start
putting things, putting action,putting my creativity into the
world on my own, because I knowhow to print, I know how to
write, I know how to record, Iknow how to film not a
cinematographer, not a DP, butenough to enter film festivals
(07:39):
and I also know how to edit andkind of like score music.
That's not true.
I don't know how to score music.
I don't know how to do music.
You know what I mean.
Overall, what I'm saying is Iam no longer willing to wait on
this industry to affirm mytalent.
That has been the through lineof this podcast over and over
again, and I've talked about it,and now it's time for me to be
(08:01):
about it.
And so, going back to Septemberand October, when I was being
jarred out of my sleep from fear, there was one night where I
was awakened like couldn't catchmy breath.
I had a low-key panic attack inmy sleep that caused me to get
my ass out of bed and startfiguring out what was my next
move, not just for now, but forthe rest of my life.
(08:23):
And the first thing I did waslie on the floor on my back for
a deep breathing, and then Ibegan holding my breath to
regulate my body and dissipatethe fear and anxiety in my
stomach.
And I was reminded girl, you'vebeen here before, in 2007 and
2008, during the last strike,and I realized that I learned
(08:44):
something from that time and wasdoing something right, because
I wasn't in the same predicament.
This time wasn't as detrimentalas the last time.
I began to tell myself righthere, right now, tawanna.
Right here, right now,everything is okay.
Right here, right now, in thismoment, right here, everything
is okay, and I repeated it overand over like a mantra and when
(09:08):
I calmed down I received anintuitive hit that steered me to
casting networks to see ifthere was any paid jobs that I
could submit for that were notstruck companies.
I saw breakdowns for audiencework, background work for small
unstruck films and print work.
And then I saw commercialbreakdown for principles for a
role I was right for, which wasodd, because usually commercial
(09:31):
breakdowns with principle rolesgo straight to agents and if a
commercial is listed on castingnetworks looking for principles,
they're like looking for, likean amputee or someone who's
seven feet tall or maybe twinsor something like that.
But no, this commercial was aautomobile spot and they were
looking for security guards inmy age range Now, security cops,
(09:55):
detectives that's my wheelhouse.
Matter of fact, I think 75% ofmy TV credits are some form of
cop, security or authoritativerole.
So I looked at the usage andthe union affiliation.
It was SAG-AFTRA, cable SpanishNetwork, digital Streaming,
theatrical, 30-day dealer, butnot a Class A, and a Class A is
(10:16):
what makes the commercialnational.
That's when it's airing in allof the markets.
So when a national commercialairs and it starts its run.
The checks come in like everyweek and they're pretty juicy,
like they're life-changing, butwith Cable you get like a lump
sum but I think it's like every21 weeks.
Digital would be a lump sum forlike six to 12 months and
(10:38):
that's a couple of thousand, andI don't know what the Spanish
language market is like, ortheatrical 30.
I don't know those rates.
So I hesitated on whether tosubmit, because automobile spots
that run Class A can bring insubstantial residual payouts for
as long as they run Cable anddigital usage could be a
fraction of that income.
(10:59):
And if I were to book the job Iwould hold a two-year
contractual conflict, meaning Iwouldn't be able to audition for
any other automobilecommercials until this contract
was complete, which is typicallytwo years.
I considered sending thebreakdown to my agent, but it
was after hours, way after hours, and I know how agents are
funny about actors submitting.
(11:19):
But it's my back that's gettingclose to being against the wall
.
And something led me here.
I felt like, worst casescenario, I'd get an audition or
not.
But if I booked it I couldpossibly still audition for this
automobile company if a Class Aappeared in the breakdowns.
So I submitted and I added myagent's info to the notes so
(11:41):
that they would be in the mixand my small panic attack had
subsided.
I was calm.
I went back to sleep.
Over the next two weeks Ireceived several unrelated
commercial auditions from mycommercial agents.
I had a few callbacks and thenwas put on a veil for one.
Then the following week I wasreleased.
Now I didn't feel defeated thistime because I knew I had
(12:04):
offered some great choices inthat audition and the callback
and I tried to be content withthat instead of getting sad.
It was on to the next one, asthe agents always say.
And then I received a self-tapefor the automobile commercial,
but there was no mention of myagent.
I immediately forwarded theaudition to them asking how to
proceed, and if you haven'tlistened to my most recent
(12:26):
episodes, I've been with thisagent for about five months now,
so we're new, we're stilllearning each other.
They inquired if I hadself-submitted and I replied yes
.
They said that they wouldinform casting on their end and
then they requested that Irefrain from self-submitting as
it could lead to doublesubmissions and frustrate the
casting director.
Then they offered that I couldinform them of jobs that
(12:47):
interested me or let them knowof any special skills they
needed to help make moresubmissions happen.
I agreed and I want to sayreally quickly like if they were
ineffective I would have aproblem with them telling me not
to submit myself, but thus farthey have been really great with
the type of auditions they'vesubmitted me for.
So I'm not going to make wavesand I trust them and if I'm in
(13:09):
this space again I'll just askthem to submit me if they
haven't already.
Now a little side note.
I know some of my peers feelthat if they get a job without
their agent's help, the agentdoesn't deserve a commission.
And a lot of times I have a lotof friends who actually will
not tell their agents that theybooked a job or pay them
commission.
And I feel like this thinking.
I think it's bad business, Ithink it's flawed, because when
(13:32):
you think about it, agentssubmit us for jobs sometimes for
several years without earning acommission from us because we
haven't booked a job.
But they believe in us.
So they continue to keep us onthe roster because they know one
day we will book and we'll book.
Often they understand theindustry and they understand it
may take us a while to find ourstride because they've had years
(13:53):
of experience of knowing whowill one day do well.
They can pinpoint it.
That's why they bring us on andsign us.
So when we book commercials orwe get auditions, whether on our
own or from an industry friendI just think it's important to
inform your agents, because oneyou want them to negotiate the
deal.
Commercial bookings are socomplicated, there's a lot of
(14:15):
intricacies to it and yourcommercial agent knows what's
best in terms of getting thehigher amount of money, in terms
of getting less edit.
There's all types of things.
And if you don't know aboutyour conflicts and you audition
for something where you alreadyhave a conflict floor, you're
really putting yourself in a badposition to possibly be sued by
production if you book it.
But also, I want everybody towin.
(14:38):
If anybody is on my team, ifwe're working together, I want
them to have the commission forall the work they've put in on
my behalf, because I'mcontractually obligated to pay
them a commission for everycommercial I book within this
state.
So it's just anyone who's doingtheir agents dirty.
Don't be surprised if they findout, because what happens in
the dark always comes out in thelight.
(14:59):
And do you really want to risksullying the relationship or
being sued because you signed acontract, and I realize a lot of
my peers don't even know whatthey signed.
So when I have friends come tome and they say, hey, tawana,
I'm thinking about leaving myagent, the first thing I say is
well, what does your contractsay?
Can you leave now?
Have you booked something inthe past four months?
(15:20):
Is there an out clause?
And a lot of times they're likeoh, I don't know.
It's very important to payattention to these things.
I believe in doing goodbusiness and good faith and
respecting the law ofreciprocity.
I receive what I put out.
Okay, that's my TED Talk.
Thank you for coming.
I'm going to move on.
So for the automobile commercial, I submitted my self-tape and
(15:40):
after about I'd say, two weeks Ireceived a callback.
And a callback was interestingbecause they had moved the time
up.
And whenever they moved thetime up, I'm always like, oh,
did they already find the personthat they want and now they
just need to get through us andmove on?
I don't know.
There could be a whole heap ofreasons of why they moved the
time up.
I'll never know because I'm notprivy to that information, but
(16:01):
I just made sure that I didn'tgive up when I got there.
I made sure that I still wentin there and did my best work
and I booked the job.
So this was mid-September andwe were scheduled to shoot the
second week in October.
I was so happy that this13-month dry spell was over, you
know.
So I show up gracious when I'mon set.
(16:22):
I'm not the one who's trying tocozy up to the director or the
client or the agency.
I'm cordial yet professional.
I'm not one with the wittybanter or trying to crack jokes.
This is business.
Everybody is busy.
It's stressful for everyone,especially the director, because
on the day of the shoot thedirector has to manage the
(16:43):
entire set and all the peopleworking on it.
He or she or they needs to makeeverything run smoothly and
fulfill upon what they promisedto the client.
So they don't really needactors trying to be besties.
And, quite frankly, I have mybestie when I get to set.
I adapt to the energy of theset.
Every commercial shoot is unique, mainly because every director
(17:06):
has their own way of directing.
There is no telling what typeof personality I will encounter
on set, so I kind of likeprepare myself.
I take the temperature, I readthe room like a comedian does
and I follow the lead of howeveryone else is doing things.
Some directors are friendly,compassionate and collaborative.
They have excellentcommunication skills and can
(17:28):
convey their vision to actorsusing descriptive language that
we can easily understand andtranslate into action.
Unfortunately, these types ofdirectors are few and far in
between.
You've noticed that newerdirectors tend to have these
qualities or notable featurefilm directors who work with
celebrity actors, collaboratingto bring the vision to life.
They also embody these traits.
(17:50):
What I find mostly are thecommercial directors who are
kind of like curmudgeonly fussybuckets, a little rude, running
the set like a military drillsergeant who expects the actors
to read their minds, who wantseverybody to call him sir, yes,
sir.
It's a little uncomfortable forme and at first I used to get
(18:11):
defensive and match theiraggression with aggression.
I no longer do that becauseit's exhausting for me.
But I will be assertive andstand my ground.
Look them in the eye.
I don't shy away because Iwon't be bullied and I demand
respect.
I watch a lot of my actor peerstry to win these types of
directors over and it's alwaysto the actor's detriment because
(18:31):
it gives the director moreammunition to ignore us or to
mistreat us or to disrespect usor to bulldoze us or to like,
take jabs at our craft.
And I watch my peers get theirfeelings hurt and it's like I
wish we would stop doing that.
I wish we would just stand inour autonomy because we deserve
to be there.
We got the job and now come anddo our work and leave.
(18:53):
There's an old interview withGeorge Clooney I believe it was
on the actor's studio where hetalks about why he doesn't work
with directors who are assholesand how he had to call out a bad
behaving director who waspurposely trying to make an
actor's job hard in front ofGeorge.
And this is why the term theactor's director exists and why
actors, especially those likeGeorge Clooney or Denzel
(19:14):
Washington or you name any bigstar actor choose to only work
with certain directors.
On this commercial audition Igot the old school curmudgeon
guy who was just brass tacks butalso very gruff, and because I
was the only principal openingthe first scene of the day, I
discovered that director wasloud and incomprehensible and a
(19:36):
bad communicator very quicklyand I had to listen carefully to
understand him.
It was difficult at first, butI knew how to handle such
behavior Because although he wasgruff, he wasn't disrespectful
and he talked to everyone in thesame manner.
So it wasn't personal.
And besides, I was too happy tobe back on set working to be
rattled by anyone.
Nobody's going to steal my joy.
(19:57):
But one of the other principalswas feeling the pressure
because she was trying to cracklittle jokey jokes and went him
over.
And you know, I just find thatcurmudgeons.
They lose respect for those whotry to be nice.
I think they see it or read itas disingenuous and they're not
interested in it.
But also, the dude had a fullschedule.
He had over 30 backgroundperformers, three adult
(20:20):
principals and one kid.
There were cars involved beingdriven forward and reversed and
forward and reversed.
Safety, timing and getting theshots were paramount.
Commercials are hard work and Ithink people that don't work
them often don't know that ordon't realize that.
And I'm here to tell youcommercials are work.
They had a very tight scheduleand when they got to the child
(20:41):
actor it was scheduled that thechild actor would have been done
before lunch but he wasn't.
It took a long time beforelunch and a long time after
lunch.
The kid was losing energy and Iwas up after the kid.
I knew they were behindschedule and I knew they would
expect me to nail all the takesto get them back on schedule.
It's a huge responsibility andfull transparency.
(21:04):
I don't know that I nailed everytake, but I kept adjusting to
the badly communicated redirectsand saying copy that, copy, no
chit chat, no whole bunch of oh.
I was just trying to up.
Maybe you said no straight toit One time.
The director told me he didn'tbelieve me, that I looked
sluggish and I took that in fora moment, like, but I thought
(21:24):
the direction was, I wassupposed to be exhausted, so I
made a quick decision and I shotback quickly, do you mean with
conviction?
He said yeah.
So I went through anotherseries of takes and finally he
said, yeah, that was better.
I guess that was his way ofcomplimenting.
I don't know, I'm not in hishead, but I'm not going to let
it affect me.
Because after that he spokewith video village and he said
(21:46):
and they shouted new deal.
And they shouted new deal,which meant they were moving on.
Neither the director nor thefirst AD said goodbye to me or
the other actor and we werewrapped.
And there's even moments inthat where I feel away because
it's like, dude, we just workedtogether.
You can say goodbye.
But no, I have to recognize thetype of director that I'm
(22:07):
working with and expect nothingmore and keep it pushing.
And again, I was too happy thatmy 13 month dry spell was
broken, even though it was acurmudgeon director, whatever,
I'm happy.
So now I'll wait and see whatthe final looks like.
As one of my previous commercialagents would always remind us,
(22:27):
she would say you can onlyexpect the session fee.
Don't count the residuals untilthey're in the bank, because
anything can happen Outgrades,downgrades.
The commercial may never seethe light of day.
I look forward to receiving mysession fee.
It's another check that goesinto my savings that lets me
survive another day.
And one thing I know for sureis the commercial will be
(22:50):
beautifully shot.
Because what I found out after Ilooked the director up when I
got home that evening is he's acinematographer who is a
director.
But he's a cinematographerfirst because that's what his
bio said, and then it all madesense, because cinematographers
don't typically deal with talent.
So how would they possibly knowhow to really communicate with
(23:12):
us unless they actually soughtout doing that?
They don't have the bedsidemanner, and these are the things
that we should know when we'reworking with someone, so that we
don't take things so personally.
So, now that the strike is over, as I said earlier, everything
remains to be seen and we'rehoping or I'm hoping, no, we're
(23:34):
all hoping that we can get backto work soon.
I have a feeling things aregoing to be really robust, and
the one thing I heard somebodyspeak on today on Instagram I
don't know her name off the topof my head, someone shared it
with me, but she talked abouthow there are people who are
going straight back to workbecause they had jobs before the
(23:54):
strike, and then there arethose of us who will not be
going straight to work.
And so for us to be gentle withourselves, because here we were
when we were striking, we wereunified, we were together, and
now we kind of have thisseparation to deal with again.
But in all of this, between thestrike, the lockdown, the
(24:18):
pandemic, there's something herethat's birthing, that's
unfolding, that's birthing forall of us to see that it's time
for us to figure out what it isthat we truly want to do and how
to go about it withoutconstraints, without constantly
having to wait for someone torecognize us and say yes to us.
Yeah, we will do that as well.
(24:41):
Sure, because that is Hollywood.
But we are in the prime time ofcreating our own content and,
with that said, this is the lastepisode of Acting Lessons
Learned for 2023.
It will come back in 2024.
I'm thinking mid-January.
I've been wanting to start myYouTube channel for a while.
(25:03):
I initially called it ActorBusiness School, but that feels
really formal to me and it feelsacademic, and I really want to
be able to feel like I'm talkingto my peers and we're learning
together as I share informationand insights, and so I'm going
to continue to keep the name ofAct lessons learned.
It will live on YouTube.
(25:24):
You can go there now andsubscribe if you want to, if you
want to already be attached toit once I start launching
episodes or videos, and thenwhat I'll do is anything that I
find pertinent.
I will turn it into a podcastfor all of my people who listen
while driving, because then Iwant to be able to keep both
(25:44):
platforms, to be able tocontinue to create my own IP in
the video form and the audioform.
Video was really my thing.
I do good here on audio as well, I have to say for myself, but
I do like video.
So that is what's next you canlook forward to hearing from
acting lessons learned inJanuary of 2024.
(26:06):
I'm thinking the third week ofJanuary and that's going to be
on YouTube, but also I'm stillon Instagram and I've moved away
from doing my videos there fora little bit because I've just
been overwhelmed in my systems,which is like not in place.
So I'm going to take this timeto put my systems in place and
I'll be back with content,sharing all types of stories and
(26:26):
all types of knowledge that Ihope that you'll continue to
find helpful and I hope that youwill join me on in the future.
So do I wish you a happyThanksgiving and a merry
Christmas and a happy New Yearright now?
Yeah, yeah, I do.
I wish you all of those things,and you know, if you see me in
the streets, I was up, and ifnot, I'll see you soon.
(26:47):
Be well, thank you forlistening.
Acting lessons learned startedas a blog in 2014 and I wanted
to turn it into a podcast, andlast year, may of 2022, it
became a podcast, and here I ama year later, consistently
putting it out.
There have been some weekswhere I've been a little slow,
like this.
This was supposed to air lastweek, but I'm still here and I'm
(27:10):
still pushing through.
But now I'm going to take sometime off to put some systems in
place and, plus, we might beworking soon, I hope.
Yeah, we're going to be working.
I'm going to claim that we'regoing to be working.
You, I'm talking to you.
You're going to be working Allright, so take care and until
next time, bye.
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