June 25, 2025 • 31 mins
Embracing Grief and Finding Purpose: Exploring the Emotions and Stages of Loss | Activate God Podcast
In this heartfelt episode of Activate God podcast, host Habibat delves into the emotions and stages experienced during grief. She shares personal stories and reflections, including the loss of her former therapist, and discusses 5 phases people experience when they are grieving, including the shock, sadness, regret, and eventual acceptance that come with losing a loved one. The 5 steps/phases include: the Initial emotion; sadness and questioning; acceptance; intentionality; and Re-living: working on honoring life.
Habibat also explores how grief can drive us to live more intentionally, create a life filled with joy and purpose, and honor those who have passed. She emphasizes the importance of gratitude and support systems in navigating grief. Join Habibat for a comforting and thought-provoking discussion on loss, life, and living with purpose.
00:00 Introduction to Grief and Emotions
00:33 Welcome Back to Activate God Podcast
01:11 Exploring Grief and Loss (part 2)
03:43 Understanding the Emotional Toll of Grief
06:53 Acceptance and Intentional Living
22:47 Honoring Ancestors and Spiritual Reflections
26:44 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
29:21 Closing Prayer and Farewell
Enjoyed this episode, please like, comment, share, and subscribe. Activate God can also be found on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and Threads for daily prayers.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:00):
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome back to another episodeof Activate God podcast.
I am your host, Habibat, and Iam super, super, super excited
to be here with you today.
so it's been a while as perusual, 'cause I feel like I'm
inconsistent, but it's fine.
because one of the things thatI'm reminding myself,
particularly as I'm building upconsistency, confidence is that
(00:24):
it will take me time to build.
And then two, I just need toprioritize a little bit more.
So if you have a dream, ify'all have a goal, if you have a
desire.
Try to commit to it, but alsobe kind to yourself as you,
develop that habit and thatskill.
over the past few months, thepast episode, I was talking
about grief and what does itlook like to experience loss,
And this episode is gonna be apart two to that because there's
(00:46):
a lot to talk about,particularly when it comes to
grieving and losing someone thatyou love, So the truth is.
This episode is dedicatedtowards that and also exploring
about what different religionssay about what happens when you
die.
Because I think sometimesunderstanding what happens when
you die can sometimes give you alittle bit of peace around
losing someone, but alsounderstanding your own death and
(01:09):
understanding what mighthappen, particularly when you
are.
Transitioning and you willtransition at some point, but we
will all die.
And truthfully, if lifecontinues to life as it should,
we'll probably experience lossin some ways.
so my prayer is for one, ifyou.
If you are experiencing loss,I'm sorry.
(01:32):
I don't think there's an easyway to say it.
Whether or not you love theperson daily or whether or not
you questioned your love forthat person or whether or not
y'all had a back and forthinteresting relationship the
truth is it's hard losingsomeone.
my condolences, and once again,I'm sending healing energy,
praying energy, peaceful energyyour way As you experience
grief, that's the reality as youexperience grief.
(01:54):
the truth is one of the thingsthat I've realized, particularly
as I'm getting older, and themore I experience life, the more
I will and you will experiencegrief and loss and transitions.
And, one of the things that Ithink is super important,
particularly if you are losingsomeone.
It's for you to go through thestages of what does it look like
for you to lose someone and theemotional toll that it takes on
(02:14):
you, while also examining howdo you continue to experience
life, And how do you continue torealign yourself with God so
that you are clear in regards towhy things are happening in
your life.
And how do you use the fuel ofgrief?
The fuel of losing someone toactually allow you to really.
really thrive in this world.
And for you to really thinkabout what does it look like for
(02:35):
me to exist freely because atsome point I'm gonna die.
I do want us to think aboutthat.
but first off, before we thinkabout thriving, if you were
experiencing grief or if you'relearning about grief,
particularly through thisepisode.
I wanna talk about the emotionsthat you go through when you
are grieving someone.
So during the last episode, Ispoke about me losing my former
therapist, who I love so much,Don Real.
(02:58):
okay.
I don't wanna cry.
I might cry.
I spoke about the initialprocess of losing her, and also
losing people generally in mylife.
but I think that one hit a lotharder because of how consistent
our relationship was.
But particularly for thisepisode, I wanna talk about the
emotional toll that you gothrough when you are grieving.
And I took a few notes and Ihave my laptop here to, to
(03:18):
support with my note takingprocess and to give y'all,
really my ideas in regards towhat is it that I believe about
grief, but also what youexperience and I've done
extensive research.
so the first things that you gothrough, particularly when you
experience someone losing orsomeone that you've lost,
particularly through death, isthat initial emotion, For
(03:39):
everyone.
It looks different, and thesesteps absolutely looks different
depending on who you are.
and they may not necessarilybe, sequential.
It could be sporadic, it couldbe.
I'm saying number three, mynumber three could be your
number one.
So just know that there's a lotmore fluidity, particularly
when it comes to emotions andlogic and really the humanistic
experience.
So the first step and the firstcycle that you go through,
(04:02):
particularly when you'reexperiencing grief, is that
initial emotion, like Imentioned, So you go through the
reflection, the shock, the,some somewhat regret, somewhat
sadness, somewhat did I do mybest?
Oh my God, like what happened?
And why did it have to happen?
So I think there's a particularlevel of questioning of self.
There's a particular level ofquestioning of God that happens
during this stage as well.
(04:23):
which I think is hard, BecauseI think even if you know that
the person is transitioning,Because sometimes you have
health problems and it's acancer diagnosis and they're
like, oh, you have X amount ofmonths to live.
and you see the persondeteriorating, it's still.
Extremely difficult to watchsomeone transition and.
Truthfully.
Once again, the more weexperience life, the more we
(04:44):
realize people are gettingolder, our parents are getting
older.
If you still have parents whoare alive, our friends are
getting older, If you havefriends, our siblings are
getting older if you havesiblings.
So I think watching peoplegetting older, could be
challenging, but it really showsyou that life is happening.
And also death is alsohappening too.
And I wanna really normalize.
death.
(05:05):
I wanna really normalize whatis it like for us to talk about
it, because I think it's a topicthat we don't talk about as
much, particularly since we'reall gonna experience it at some
point.
So the first emotion is thatinitial shock, wow.
This person transitioned.
You think about everything inyour mind, many random things.
You think about their goodmemories, you think about their
bad memories, you think aboutjust so many things.
(05:27):
So it's like that, wow.
and you also question what'sthat there for that person?
As much as I could have been, Ithink there's a little bit of
regret that happens sometimes.
I know for me, I was like, Iwish I would've saw her again.
and particularly I'm talkingabout my former therapist.
and the reality is I did it.
And she probably did not wantme to.
(05:47):
And truthfully, I asked her andshe said, no, but in my mind
I'm like, I wish I would've beena lot more consistent.
So I think you, you experiencedthat initial, shock in that
initial sadness when you losesomeone, and then you start
questioning yourself.
You start questioning life.
You start questioning why youstart questioning God.
you start questioning it all.
and I think that's a part ofthe process.
That's a part of the humanisticexperience.
(06:07):
And then I think at some point,once you experience that
initial shock and once youstart, once you stop questioning
as much, 'cause I don't thinkthat the questions stop.
I think the questions lessen.
but once you, once thequestioning lessens, I think
there's a particular level ofacceptance that happens because
you're like, nothing can change,nothing.
(06:28):
Literally This person is nowpermanently transitioned
physically away from me.
So I can't talk to them in thesame ways in which I used to.
I can't see them.
I can't feel them in the waysin which I used to.
I can't create new memories inthe ways in which I used to.
so physically they're no longerhere.
So I think I.
You, you experience acceptance.
And I think the acceptancestage takes a while.
(06:50):
For some people it takesmonths.
For some people it takes years.
it takes a while.
And the other thing, oh my God.
So I have a new friend, y'all,and she's phenomenal.
And.
and she was in my houseyesterday and we were talking
and she was telling me about hermother.
And she was like, my mothertransitioned like three years
ago.
and she was just sad and tookher while to get out of it.
And she was saying that thereason why she got out of it.
(07:12):
Is because she had otherproblems and we laughed about
it.
'cause we, I was like, oh wow.
that's real.
sometimes the things that helpsyou get outta something is not
because of your own individualhealing journey.
It's really because you haveother things to deal with.
So you have to put this on theback burner.
so I do think that that's apart of acceptance too, Thinking
about the other areas of yourlife that you have to deal with
as well in the midst of youdealing with your own emotions,
(07:34):
and accepting hey, nothing couldchange.
And, and we laughed about it,but it's really heavy.
And of course I saw the sadnessin our eyes.
and it's definitely hardexperiencing a parent loss,
experiencing just generally aloved one that you love and what
she was saying.
And I'm so grateful that I haveparents who are alive.
But what she was saying wasthat you never gain another
(07:54):
parent.
and that's the reality.
That is the reality.
and particularly.
The thing about loss, whetheror not it's a really close
friend, whether or not it's aformer therapist, in my case,
you can never replace thisperson.
You can never replace a person,although now, because I need a
therapist y'all,
Habibat (08:12):
what you see is the
Speaker (08:13):
joy.
What you don't see is the otherside of this.
and maybe one day I'lldefinitely share a lot more
about The things that I gothrough, and how I sustain
myself in healthy ways.
but I have a new therapistwho's also phenomenal in every
way possible.
She's been really a lifesaver.
but my old one, I could notreplace her even if I wanted to,
I would not replace her.
But I'm grateful that I have anew one who's able to still
(08:35):
guide me.
but it's definitely differentknowing that you cannot replace
a person.
You can't, no matter who theperson is, you cannot replace
that person.
so we have initial emotions,the shock, the grief, the
regret, and then the sadness,the questioning, and then you
start accepting.
And then the next step isintentionality.
I think there's a particularlevel of intentionality that you
(08:56):
have to exist in after theacceptance stage.
that makes you wanna becomemore intentional about living,
you think about wow, my owndeath.
It is nearing at some pointmine.
I see it decades from now init's decades from now.
But at some point it willhappen, So there's a particular
(09:18):
level of intentionality that youhave to think about when you
are, thinking about grief andloss and you in your own death,
just staring you in the faceand.
So I do think that theintentionality around you taking
care of yourself, theintentionality around you, being
around people who love you, theintentionality around you,
making sure that you are fineand that you have the things
(09:40):
that you need, theintentionality around creating a
life that you live.
and I think that is important.
That is important.
But once again, this might takemonths, it might take years, it
might take decades.
But I do think that it'simportant to, to be intentional
about putting the.
The support systems, theguardrails, the safeguards.
I don't know the difference.
the safeguards in place So thatyou can create life that you
(10:04):
want so that you can create agood life.
Because really, I don't thinkGod, wants us to suffer.
I think struggle is a part oflife.
Let's be clear.
Struggling is a part of thisworld, but, but suffering.
Perpetual suffering.
I don't pray that upon anyone,including myself.
So y'all, I pray that you donot suffer.
(10:26):
but I think, I don't desire forus to suffer for long.
And I think depending on whereyou are mentally, depending on
where you are emotionally,physically, I think there are
ways that we do struggle.
But I hope that we finddifferent things to help us
relieve the struggle so thatit's not suffering.
So that's not long-termsuffering.
I pray that you, find pieces ofjoy in your life that is, that
(10:47):
you can tap into whether or notthat's through people, or
through an activity.
but I pray that for you.
And then the last part, or thelast step is really reliving and
working on honoring the idea oflife, working on honoring life
itself, Because I think losingsomeone, shocking or un
shockingly, Losing someone, itmakes you evaluate your own
(11:09):
life, but it also makes you wantto really live and you should
live or, I think two things arehappening.
I think one, people either arelike, Hey, I'm gonna die at some
point, so it doesn't matter.
None of this matters.
Which is true.
And then the other part is,people believe that I can either
really create a life that Ilike.
And the part about none of itmatters is that you become less
(11:31):
connected to the smaller thingsI.
You become more intentionalabout the bigger things and you
should, And I think when you arethinking about life in terms of
none of it matters.
And if you are in that stage,there's pros and cons to it, I
hope that you think about Hey,if none of it matters, then how
about I just create the life andcreate a good life?
(11:53):
How about I do that?
How about I do that?
Create a life that I can befree and that I can give, and
that I can make a amazing legacyand impact so many beautiful
people in this world.
How about I do that, and howabout I treat myself kindly and
respectfully and intentionallyand softly and peacefully
(12:14):
because none of it matters.
So how about I do my best.
That could be the reality, Likedoing your best.
Because none of it reallymatters if that's what you are
in that phase of, but if you arenot, and if you're like me
who's Hey, because I've seendeath, I've seen someone die,
and because it's making mequestion why God, why now?
(12:38):
I'm also thinking about like,how do I create life and go back
to God and be like, Hey, God,I've done all these things and
I've impacted so many amazingpeople in this world, and I've
tended to myself.
How about I go back to God inthat way, and I hope that's what
you do too, where because ofdeath and because of
experiencing loss, youreevaluate how do I create life?
(13:01):
that's what I hope that we do.
So really the last step and thebest ways is to, is for you to
relive, is for you to recreate alife that is filled with life,
that is filled with joy, that isfilled with abundance.
so that you can go back to Godand being like, Hey, God, I did
it.
so I think the purpose of lifeis for us to continue to re
(13:25):
reevaluate life.
And reevaluate where we are,how we feel what are our dreams,
what are our hopes, so thatthis way we can really create
the life that we want and reallythe life that God ordained us
to live.
I think that's the hope, andthat's the prayer that we live a
good life and that we live alife that is filled with God's
(13:47):
blessings in every way possible.
The truth is only God knows ourtiming and only God knows why.
The person had to transitionthe ways in which they
transitioned, but also at thatpoint and why now, why that
moment that they transitioned,right?
So death is never fun.
and I've said this before, thisis me processing and thinking
(14:08):
out loud to be quite honest, ButI went to a talk the other day.
and a beautiful woman, and itwas a really intimate talk, so
I'm not sure she wants to meshare her name, so I'm not going
to.
but she was talking about hercreating an intentional life and
her manifesting the life thatshe wants.
And, and in the talk she wastalking about, she lost her
father, but it was a relativelyyoung-ish age that she lost her
(14:29):
father.
And she was like, because Ilost my father.
And my father really wanted meto be a lawyer, and once he
transitioned, I had to stopliving in that shadow and Really
create the life that I want.
and I'm saying this reallybecause, I think it explains
life a little bit more to me.
And once again, I don't prayfor us to experience death in
(14:50):
any ways.
Let's be clear.
I'd rather, if I was her, I'drather be, I don't know what, if
I was her, let me say that.
If I was her, I'd rather havemy life.
I'd rather have my life myfather.
And for me to figure out a wayfor me to exist outside of being
a lawyer, but I do think thatfor her, it explained why it had
to happen.
And I think the reason I'msaying this is because I think
(15:10):
sometimes in life we may notnecessarily be able to
understand why a thing had tohappen.
But I think after a while, ifyou look closely, you might find
the reason.
You might find the reason, andher reason was my father had to
transition, because she knewthat being a lawyer was not the
route that God had for her.
(15:31):
It was.
Her life that she's created,that she's showing up to be,
that she's sharing with theworld is really inspirational
and is filled with joy.
It was filled with joy and sheis doing her thing And of
course, she, she was talkingabout she's of course sad that
she lost her father, but thelife that she's also
(15:52):
experiencing now.
Is worth it.
So once again, I say that notto say that I pray that you lose
your loved ones.
No.
But I pray that you create alife that you want regardless of
whether or not your loved oneis around or not.
That's what I want for you, andI pray that if you are losing a
loved one, or when you lose aloved one, that your loved one,
(16:13):
is able to teach you how to liveand create a life that you
want.
Past their death, that's what Iwant for you.
the reality is, learning todisappoint our loved ones, to
glorify God is important.
Generally, when we're talkingabout creating a life and
creating a life that's filledwith joy and abundance,
sometimes we have to disappointpeople.
(16:34):
Sometimes we have to disappointpeople.
but my bigger, my biggestprayer because I think sometimes
people be out here living, I'mgonna live a life that I want
and I don't, it doesn't matter.
I think for one, before youstart doing that, I think it's
important to have discernment.
I think it's important to havewisdom.
Hello.
I think it's important to havehumility in the midst of it.
(16:55):
but I think it's superimportant to be intentional,
discernment as in gettingconnected with God so that you
know exactly what life God wantsyou to live.
and then wisdom in a sense ofyou being able to ask people for
advice and support, because Ithink God speaks to us through
people too.
Oftentimes people are oh myGod, God told me this thing, but
God often uses other people totalk to us.
(17:17):
Tap in, use God, use the peoplethrough God, use God through
people.
I don't know.
you get what I'm saying?
make sure that you do that.
The other thing is,particularly as I am
experiencing grief and as you,if you are experiencing grief,
(17:37):
is I want you to look at theoverflow.
I want you to look at theoverflow.
I want you to look at thebeauty of life, and I want you
to exist within the gratitudesof life in the midst of grief.
I want you to do that because,it's important because it is
stabilizes you.
(17:57):
It really does because I thinkwhen you lose someone you lose
sight of the beauty of life youdo.
You do sometimes if that's you.
and I think existing within thegratitude and existing within
the overflow rebalances you fromthe heaviness of it all and
brings you back to thelightness.
I.
And one of my mentors shout outto Queen mother.
(18:19):
She's phenomenal and I love herin every way possible.
She like, every time Icomplain, she's you need to
exist in gratitude.
And I'm like, I am.
I'm so grateful of all thesethings.
But no, she's right though.
in sense of I think theintentionality around existing
and gratitude is important.
The intentionality aroundexisting and gratitude is
important.
The intentionality aroundslowing down to existing
gratitude is super important.
(18:41):
So I want you to do that.
I want you to be intentionalabout existing in gratitude,
even in the small things.
I know for me right now, I'vebeen thinking about like how
much I love water and how much Ilove drinking from a wine glass
with water in it 'cause I don'tdrink.
and it's been fill, filling mewith joy.
And, my gratitude is that Ihave this one glass that my
(19:03):
sister-in-law gave me, for free.
God.
God is so good.
Thank you.
God.
If folks don't know whatAlhamdulillah mean, thank you,
God.
I have this wine glass, and Ifell in love with drinking water
from a wine glass, and that'sbeen my thing lately, So I'm
grateful that I have the abilityto, for one, have water, two,
(19:24):
have a wine glass, and thenthree, use my hands to drink it.
And then four, my body isconsuming the water healthily.
It be the small things.
It is a small things in lifethat we need to just really
appreciate.
And then the bigger things thathey, I'm good.
And of course things are notperfect.
And of course I am activelyfighting for things that I want
(19:47):
and then I sometimes I docomplain, I also.
Try to combat that with,gratitude.
but I think particularly whenwe are losing someone, when
we've lost someone, I think it'simportant to really think about
the gratitudes of life.
And being grateful in the midstof the grief and being grateful
of your experience with them.
being grateful for.
(20:08):
For further life and beinggrateful that you have life and
being grateful that you haveother loved ones as well, and
being grateful that you cancontinue to create the life that
you want.
and being more intentional.
So let's do that.
let's be grateful.
And the last part, or the lasttwo parts that I wanna talk
about is the body and thespirit, of course are two
(20:29):
different things, I went to afuneral the other day.
Shout out to Miss Jackie.
she was lovely.
I met her a few times.
This was, one of my siblings,one of my brothers
non-biological brothers, motherwho transitioned and I went to
her funeral a few days ago andjust watching life.
Ooh.
And I went to another funeral,to be quite honest, maybe a few
weeks ago.
and being in a space of thebody just allows you to
(20:53):
experience that.
hey, this body's temporary.
Our spirit, our being is beyondthis body.
and I think two things arehappening.
One, I think it makes youevaluate and appreciate the body
because this is a temporaryvessel.
And then two, I think it makesyou.
Think about who am Ispiritually and how do I exist
(21:15):
within my mind, my body, myspirit, in it all And how do I
exude lightness so that myspirit can be light?
because the body is the shell,I.
To, to your spirit.
But it's not the only thingbecause I think we exist beyond
our bodies.
I think sometimes when we stepinto a room, our energy shows
up, our spirit shows up evensometimes before we do.
(21:36):
and then sometimes when weleave, our energy continues to
impact the people around us andleave a lasting impression.
I want you to think about themind, body and the spirit, the
separation between those thingsand the heart.
and lastly, I wanna say thatwhen you are losing someone or
when you've lost someone, youcan't replace them.
Like I mentioned, they'reirreplaceable.
(21:57):
That's the reality.
They're irreplaceable.
And I think it's okay to findpeace with honoring them.
The other thing that I wannatalk a little bit more about, I
feel like this is a three partepisode, to be quite honest.
'cause I have more to say.
I do, I do.
Look, your girl is talking.
Um, is that, I think that thereis so particularly, so I'm
(22:19):
Muslim.
I'm Muslim and I have a lot offriends who are Buddhist.
I have a lot of friends who areChristian.
I have a lot of friends whopractice iffa.
I have a lot of friends who,are spiritually open and fluid
and, use crystals.
I have a lot of different, avariety of friends.
And one of the things that Ifind most fascinating,
particularly when we, when itcomes to religious spaces, is
(22:40):
the idea of honoring ancestors.
and let me define ancestors,and I'm talking about ancestors
as in someone who transitionedto the other realm.
no longer physically with us,so someone who's passed away.
And I think that's somethingthat we don't talk about as
much, the idea of honoringancestors, and particularly in
religious spaces, we talk abouthow bad it is, to honor your
ancestors so we talk about makesure that you're, you don't
(23:03):
believe that God is yourancestor.
that type of equivalence.
One of the things that I'mbecoming more at peace with has
become me thinking about how doI honor the folks who have
transitioned while also honoringGod, And honor God so that I am
honoring the people whotransitioned?
And I think particularly whenit comes to honoring of
ancestors versus veneration, Ithink these are two different
(23:23):
things.
I think when it comes tohonoring of ancestors, I think
there's a way to do it.
And I think it's innatelywithin our culture, to be quite
honest.
so a few things that I thinkthat we honor, I.
When it comes to ancestors,there's sometimes they're names,
sometimes they're pictures.
We post pictures on the walls.
Sometimes we use their names ont-shirts.
(23:44):
sometimes we put their names inbooks.
Sometimes we, we name buildingsafter them, street names after
them.
So there are definitelydifferent, ways that.
In our society, we've embeddedhonoring of our ancestors, that
we are not necessarily consciousof.
And I don't think there'sanything wrong with that.
the idea of honoring someonewho has made a lasting a
(24:06):
positive, beautiful impressiononto the world.
But I find it interesting when,particularly in many religious
spaces when we're like, youshould not be talking to your
ancestors.
I think there's a way to honoryour ancestors without you
feeling you're going againstyour religion.
If your religion is like,ancestors are bad, It's okay to
honor the loved one who haspassed away.
That is okay.
(24:27):
That is okay.
And I think there's aparticular level of peace that
you get when you remember them,because I think that's a way of
honoring too remembrance ishonor.
you talking about them is honoryou.
Writing a book and dedicatingthe book with their names is
honor you creating a lifebecause you know that's what
they wanted you to do is honor.
(24:48):
you lighting a candle on theirbirthday is honoring 'cause I
think if I were to, when I losemore people and God don't let it
happen anytime soon, pleasedon't.
But when it does happen at somepoint, what I would, they want
me to forget them?
The answer is no.
The answer is no.
(25:10):
And the people who havepositively impacted what I want
them to forget me.
No, remember me.
Remember me to be the personwho was Hey, y'all, live a life.
Create a good life.
Create a divinely good life.
Create a life filled withpurpose.
Create that, do that.
That's the least you could do.
Remember that?
Remember I said that and createa life that you're filled with
joy and peace and purpose.
(25:32):
create that.
I would like people who.
When I do transition for themto remember me and for them to
honor me.
So definitely make sure thatyou are thinking about how are
you feeling, particularly whenit comes to what you believe
religiously, spiritually, andalso what you find peace with in
the midst of, you losing aloved one.
So initially I said that I wasgonna talk about what different
(25:52):
religions say.
But I realized that we're about30 ish minutes in and I don't
think that I have the time to dothat.
so during the next episode,we're gonna be talking about
what different religions say andjust my other ideas about
losing someone in grief, andgoing through those phases.
but once again, thank you somuch for watching this episode.
(26:14):
I really, really, really,really, really appreciate your
support.
and I pray that you also arethinking about what dreams you
have.
And taking the steps, the smallsteps to pursue those dreams.
'cause my dream is for me to dothis and although I'm
inconsistent, hello God, what Iam committed to is showing up
(26:35):
regardless of how inconsistent Iam.
And I hope the same for you, Ipray that particularly if you're
developing a habit, I pray thatyou, start small.
And then you develop the habitand then expand and be
consistent.
One day I'll be more consistentin posting.
And y'all will see this threemonths, six months
inconsistency, ain't it?
Oh, and last piece.
And this is, I'm talking aboutthe three months, six months of
(26:58):
me posting.
'cause that's what it's beenlately.
is I've celebrated one year ofthis podcast, to be quite
honest.
I uploaded my first episode, Ithink, I think June 19th or June
20th.
So that's when I started.
so it's been a year and I havefive episodes in and wow.
as I'm thinking about myinconsistencies around posting
an episode and filming anepisode, I think about girl,
(27:22):
it's been a year and you madefive episodes more than you did
last year.
Y'all, let's celebrate that.
Let's celebrate the small wins.
I could have been like, oh myGod, I did not post it
consistently and I had I wasplanning on doing it at least
every month.
Really my goal is for me to doit every week, but girl.
So rather than me complainingand thinking about oh my God,
and me downplaying my, my, myaccomplishments and looking at
(27:44):
the inconsistencies I'm gonnacelebrate while I continue to
become more consistent.
so I, I hope that y'all do thattoo.
as you continue to become moreconsistent, that you celebrate
the inconsistencies and that youcontinue to do your best and
for you to be kind to yourselfas you are inconsistent so that
you can build the consistency,habit, and pattern and.
and muscle.
(28:04):
So once again, thank you.
So what I want you to do forthis episode is for you to
comment, what you, what yourthoughts are about, losing
someone.
what's your thoughts?
what are your thoughtsgenerally?
I want you to share thisepisode with someone who might
need watch it with a friend.
I wanna hear what you think, So
Habibat (28:21):
on
Speaker (28:21):
every episode I end off with a prayer, so if you don't
already know, activate God is, apodcast, a space, a community
where we talk about, God one,it's an interfaith multifaith
space where I post daily prayerson social media.
I also have a podcast and talkgenerally about life.
And I definitely wanna expandaccordingly to these things.
(28:42):
But one of the things that I'mconsistent in and desire to
continue supporting peoplethrough is through prayer.
now.
We are going to pray.
so assume a posture, reverence,creator.
God, we thank you for yetanother day.
We thank you for the fact thatyou put air in our lungs.
our heart is working.
We thank you.
We thank you for all that youare doing all that you've done
(29:05):
and all that you will do in ourlife.
God.
I know this episode we weretalking about grief.
We were talking about losing aloved ones.
We were talking about what doesit look like for us to create a
life that we want?
But I'm asking that youcontinue to send protection to
those who have lost anyone.
and also anyone who'sexperiencing grief in any form.
(29:26):
So God, please be with them.
Please protect them.
Please give them peace.
Please give them harmony.
Please allow them to experiencethe emotions while also
supporting them in creating thelife that they were meant to
live in.
Help them create a good life.
God, we also ask that youcontinue to allow us to live
(29:47):
life with purpose.
With peace and with yourblessings.
We ask that we do not feardeath, but rather we fear living
without living the life thatyou've called us to live.
God, please help us create thelife that you called us to live.
We hope that we get toexperience the best steps in
(30:13):
this life.
We pray that anyone who isexperiencing grief in any forms,
that they find peace, that theyhave people around them who are
supporting them, that they havesigns and symbols, and your
glory tapped around, coveringthem, hovering all over them.
(30:33):
God, we ask that you continueto really support us.
Help us.
And for us to just breathe.
We ask that you continue toallow us to exist.
Exist in a good life.
God, we thank you.
Thank you.
Ameen.
(30:55):
Amen.
And Ase...! So y'all, thank youso much once again for watching
this episode.
I really, really, reallyappreciate it.
So if you have not already,please definitely comment, like,
share, and let's continue tohaving these conversations and I
hope that, amongst your lovedones, y'all can continue having
these conversations about death,and life.
and once again, your support isgreatly appreciated.
(31:17):
So thank you for watching.
Have a great day.
Bye.
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome back to another episodeof Activate God podcast.
I am your host, Habibat, and Iam super, super, super excited
to be here with you today.
so it's been a while as perusual, 'cause I feel like I'm
inconsistent, but it's fine.
because one of the things thatI'm reminding myself,
particularly as I'm building upconsistency, confidence is that
(00:24):
it will take me time to build.
And then two, I just need toprioritize a little bit more.
So if you have a dream, ify'all have a goal, if you have a
desire.
Try to commit to it, but alsobe kind to yourself as you,
develop that habit and thatskill.
over the past few months, thepast episode, I was talking
about grief and what does itlook like to experience loss,
And this episode is gonna be apart two to that because there's
(00:46):
a lot to talk about,particularly when it comes to
grieving and losing someone thatyou love, So the truth is.
This episode is dedicatedtowards that and also exploring
about what different religionssay about what happens when you
die.
Because I think sometimesunderstanding what happens when
you die can sometimes give you alittle bit of peace around
losing someone, but alsounderstanding your own death and
(01:09):
understanding what mighthappen, particularly when you
are.
Transitioning and you willtransition at some point, but we
will all die.
And truthfully, if lifecontinues to life as it should,
we'll probably experience lossin some ways.
so my prayer is for one, ifyou.
If you are experiencing loss,I'm sorry.
(01:32):
I don't think there's an easyway to say it.
Whether or not you love theperson daily or whether or not
you questioned your love forthat person or whether or not
y'all had a back and forthinteresting relationship the
truth is it's hard losingsomeone.
my condolences, and once again,I'm sending healing energy,
praying energy, peaceful energyyour way As you experience
grief, that's the reality as youexperience grief.
(01:54):
the truth is one of the thingsthat I've realized, particularly
as I'm getting older, and themore I experience life, the more
I will and you will experiencegrief and loss and transitions.
And, one of the things that Ithink is super important,
particularly if you are losingsomeone.
It's for you to go through thestages of what does it look like
for you to lose someone and theemotional toll that it takes on
(02:14):
you, while also examining howdo you continue to experience
life, And how do you continue torealign yourself with God so
that you are clear in regards towhy things are happening in
your life.
And how do you use the fuel ofgrief?
The fuel of losing someone toactually allow you to really.
really thrive in this world.
And for you to really thinkabout what does it look like for
(02:35):
me to exist freely because atsome point I'm gonna die.
I do want us to think aboutthat.
but first off, before we thinkabout thriving, if you were
experiencing grief or if you'relearning about grief,
particularly through thisepisode.
I wanna talk about the emotionsthat you go through when you
are grieving someone.
So during the last episode, Ispoke about me losing my former
therapist, who I love so much,Don Real.
(02:58):
okay.
I don't wanna cry.
I might cry.
I spoke about the initialprocess of losing her, and also
losing people generally in mylife.
but I think that one hit a lotharder because of how consistent
our relationship was.
But particularly for thisepisode, I wanna talk about the
emotional toll that you gothrough when you are grieving.
And I took a few notes and Ihave my laptop here to, to
(03:18):
support with my note takingprocess and to give y'all,
really my ideas in regards towhat is it that I believe about
grief, but also what youexperience and I've done
extensive research.
so the first things that you gothrough, particularly when you
experience someone losing orsomeone that you've lost,
particularly through death, isthat initial emotion, For
(03:39):
everyone.
It looks different, and thesesteps absolutely looks different
depending on who you are.
and they may not necessarilybe, sequential.
It could be sporadic, it couldbe.
I'm saying number three, mynumber three could be your
number one.
So just know that there's a lotmore fluidity, particularly
when it comes to emotions andlogic and really the humanistic
experience.
So the first step and the firstcycle that you go through,
(04:02):
particularly when you'reexperiencing grief, is that
initial emotion, like Imentioned, So you go through the
reflection, the shock, the,some somewhat regret, somewhat
sadness, somewhat did I do mybest?
Oh my God, like what happened?
And why did it have to happen?
So I think there's a particularlevel of questioning of self.
There's a particular level ofquestioning of God that happens
during this stage as well.
(04:23):
which I think is hard, BecauseI think even if you know that
the person is transitioning,Because sometimes you have
health problems and it's acancer diagnosis and they're
like, oh, you have X amount ofmonths to live.
and you see the persondeteriorating, it's still.
Extremely difficult to watchsomeone transition and.
Truthfully.
Once again, the more weexperience life, the more we
(04:44):
realize people are gettingolder, our parents are getting
older.
If you still have parents whoare alive, our friends are
getting older, If you havefriends, our siblings are
getting older if you havesiblings.
So I think watching peoplegetting older, could be
challenging, but it really showsyou that life is happening.
And also death is alsohappening too.
And I wanna really normalize.
death.
(05:05):
I wanna really normalize whatis it like for us to talk about
it, because I think it's a topicthat we don't talk about as
much, particularly since we'reall gonna experience it at some
point.
So the first emotion is thatinitial shock, wow.
This person transitioned.
You think about everything inyour mind, many random things.
You think about their goodmemories, you think about their
bad memories, you think aboutjust so many things.
(05:27):
So it's like that, wow.
and you also question what'sthat there for that person?
As much as I could have been, Ithink there's a little bit of
regret that happens sometimes.
I know for me, I was like, Iwish I would've saw her again.
and particularly I'm talkingabout my former therapist.
and the reality is I did it.
And she probably did not wantme to.
(05:47):
And truthfully, I asked her andshe said, no, but in my mind
I'm like, I wish I would've beena lot more consistent.
So I think you, you experiencedthat initial, shock in that
initial sadness when you losesomeone, and then you start
questioning yourself.
You start questioning life.
You start questioning why youstart questioning God.
you start questioning it all.
and I think that's a part ofthe process.
That's a part of the humanisticexperience.
(06:07):
And then I think at some point,once you experience that
initial shock and once youstart, once you stop questioning
as much, 'cause I don't thinkthat the questions stop.
I think the questions lessen.
but once you, once thequestioning lessens, I think
there's a particular level ofacceptance that happens because
you're like, nothing can change,nothing.
(06:28):
Literally This person is nowpermanently transitioned
physically away from me.
So I can't talk to them in thesame ways in which I used to.
I can't see them.
I can't feel them in the waysin which I used to.
I can't create new memories inthe ways in which I used to.
so physically they're no longerhere.
So I think I.
You, you experience acceptance.
And I think the acceptancestage takes a while.
(06:50):
For some people it takesmonths.
For some people it takes years.
it takes a while.
And the other thing, oh my God.
So I have a new friend, y'all,and she's phenomenal.
And.
and she was in my houseyesterday and we were talking
and she was telling me about hermother.
And she was like, my mothertransitioned like three years
ago.
and she was just sad and tookher while to get out of it.
And she was saying that thereason why she got out of it.
(07:12):
Is because she had otherproblems and we laughed about
it.
'cause we, I was like, oh wow.
that's real.
sometimes the things that helpsyou get outta something is not
because of your own individualhealing journey.
It's really because you haveother things to deal with.
So you have to put this on theback burner.
so I do think that that's apart of acceptance too, Thinking
about the other areas of yourlife that you have to deal with
as well in the midst of youdealing with your own emotions,
(07:34):
and accepting hey, nothing couldchange.
And, and we laughed about it,but it's really heavy.
And of course I saw the sadnessin our eyes.
and it's definitely hardexperiencing a parent loss,
experiencing just generally aloved one that you love and what
she was saying.
And I'm so grateful that I haveparents who are alive.
But what she was saying wasthat you never gain another
(07:54):
parent.
and that's the reality.
That is the reality.
and particularly.
The thing about loss, whetheror not it's a really close
friend, whether or not it's aformer therapist, in my case,
you can never replace thisperson.
You can never replace a person,although now, because I need a
therapist y'all,
Habibat (08:12):
what you see is the
Speaker (08:13):
joy.
What you don't see is the otherside of this.
and maybe one day I'lldefinitely share a lot more
about The things that I gothrough, and how I sustain
myself in healthy ways.
but I have a new therapistwho's also phenomenal in every
way possible.
She's been really a lifesaver.
but my old one, I could notreplace her even if I wanted to,
I would not replace her.
But I'm grateful that I have anew one who's able to still
(08:35):
guide me.
but it's definitely differentknowing that you cannot replace
a person.
You can't, no matter who theperson is, you cannot replace
that person.
so we have initial emotions,the shock, the grief, the
regret, and then the sadness,the questioning, and then you
start accepting.
And then the next step isintentionality.
I think there's a particularlevel of intentionality that you
(08:56):
have to exist in after theacceptance stage.
that makes you wanna becomemore intentional about living,
you think about wow, my owndeath.
It is nearing at some pointmine.
I see it decades from now init's decades from now.
But at some point it willhappen, So there's a particular
(09:18):
level of intentionality that youhave to think about when you
are, thinking about grief andloss and you in your own death,
just staring you in the faceand.
So I do think that theintentionality around you taking
care of yourself, theintentionality around you, being
around people who love you, theintentionality around you,
making sure that you are fineand that you have the things
(09:40):
that you need, theintentionality around creating a
life that you live.
and I think that is important.
That is important.
But once again, this might takemonths, it might take years, it
might take decades.
But I do think that it'simportant to, to be intentional
about putting the.
The support systems, theguardrails, the safeguards.
I don't know the difference.
the safeguards in place So thatyou can create life that you
(10:04):
want so that you can create agood life.
Because really, I don't thinkGod, wants us to suffer.
I think struggle is a part oflife.
Let's be clear.
Struggling is a part of thisworld, but, but suffering.
Perpetual suffering.
I don't pray that upon anyone,including myself.
So y'all, I pray that you donot suffer.
(10:26):
but I think, I don't desire forus to suffer for long.
And I think depending on whereyou are mentally, depending on
where you are emotionally,physically, I think there are
ways that we do struggle.
But I hope that we finddifferent things to help us
relieve the struggle so thatit's not suffering.
So that's not long-termsuffering.
I pray that you, find pieces ofjoy in your life that is, that
(10:47):
you can tap into whether or notthat's through people, or
through an activity.
but I pray that for you.
And then the last part, or thelast step is really reliving and
working on honoring the idea oflife, working on honoring life
itself, Because I think losingsomeone, shocking or un
shockingly, Losing someone, itmakes you evaluate your own
(11:09):
life, but it also makes you wantto really live and you should
live or, I think two things arehappening.
I think one, people either arelike, Hey, I'm gonna die at some
point, so it doesn't matter.
None of this matters.
Which is true.
And then the other part is,people believe that I can either
really create a life that Ilike.
And the part about none of itmatters is that you become less
(11:31):
connected to the smaller thingsI.
You become more intentionalabout the bigger things and you
should, And I think when you arethinking about life in terms of
none of it matters.
And if you are in that stage,there's pros and cons to it, I
hope that you think about Hey,if none of it matters, then how
about I just create the life andcreate a good life?
(11:53):
How about I do that?
How about I do that?
Create a life that I can befree and that I can give, and
that I can make a amazing legacyand impact so many beautiful
people in this world.
How about I do that, and howabout I treat myself kindly and
respectfully and intentionallyand softly and peacefully
(12:14):
because none of it matters.
So how about I do my best.
That could be the reality, Likedoing your best.
Because none of it reallymatters if that's what you are
in that phase of, but if you arenot, and if you're like me
who's Hey, because I've seendeath, I've seen someone die,
and because it's making mequestion why God, why now?
(12:38):
I'm also thinking about like,how do I create life and go back
to God and be like, Hey, God,I've done all these things and
I've impacted so many amazingpeople in this world, and I've
tended to myself.
How about I go back to God inthat way, and I hope that's what
you do too, where because ofdeath and because of
experiencing loss, youreevaluate how do I create life?
(13:01):
that's what I hope that we do.
So really the last step and thebest ways is to, is for you to
relive, is for you to recreate alife that is filled with life,
that is filled with joy, that isfilled with abundance.
so that you can go back to Godand being like, Hey, God, I did
it.
so I think the purpose of lifeis for us to continue to re
(13:25):
reevaluate life.
And reevaluate where we are,how we feel what are our dreams,
what are our hopes, so thatthis way we can really create
the life that we want and reallythe life that God ordained us
to live.
I think that's the hope, andthat's the prayer that we live a
good life and that we live alife that is filled with God's
(13:47):
blessings in every way possible.
The truth is only God knows ourtiming and only God knows why.
The person had to transitionthe ways in which they
transitioned, but also at thatpoint and why now, why that
moment that they transitioned,right?
So death is never fun.
and I've said this before, thisis me processing and thinking
(14:08):
out loud to be quite honest, ButI went to a talk the other day.
and a beautiful woman, and itwas a really intimate talk, so
I'm not sure she wants to meshare her name, so I'm not going
to.
but she was talking about hercreating an intentional life and
her manifesting the life thatshe wants.
And, and in the talk she wastalking about, she lost her
father, but it was a relativelyyoung-ish age that she lost her
(14:29):
father.
And she was like, because Ilost my father.
And my father really wanted meto be a lawyer, and once he
transitioned, I had to stopliving in that shadow and Really
create the life that I want.
and I'm saying this reallybecause, I think it explains
life a little bit more to me.
And once again, I don't prayfor us to experience death in
(14:50):
any ways.
Let's be clear.
I'd rather, if I was her, I'drather be, I don't know what, if
I was her, let me say that.
If I was her, I'd rather havemy life.
I'd rather have my life myfather.
And for me to figure out a wayfor me to exist outside of being
a lawyer, but I do think thatfor her, it explained why it had
to happen.
And I think the reason I'msaying this is because I think
(15:10):
sometimes in life we may notnecessarily be able to
understand why a thing had tohappen.
But I think after a while, ifyou look closely, you might find
the reason.
You might find the reason, andher reason was my father had to
transition, because she knewthat being a lawyer was not the
route that God had for her.
(15:31):
It was.
Her life that she's created,that she's showing up to be,
that she's sharing with theworld is really inspirational
and is filled with joy.
It was filled with joy and sheis doing her thing And of
course, she, she was talkingabout she's of course sad that
she lost her father, but thelife that she's also
(15:52):
experiencing now.
Is worth it.
So once again, I say that notto say that I pray that you lose
your loved ones.
No.
But I pray that you create alife that you want regardless of
whether or not your loved oneis around or not.
That's what I want for you, andI pray that if you are losing a
loved one, or when you lose aloved one, that your loved one,
(16:13):
is able to teach you how to liveand create a life that you
want.
Past their death, that's what Iwant for you.
the reality is, learning todisappoint our loved ones, to
glorify God is important.
Generally, when we're talkingabout creating a life and
creating a life that's filledwith joy and abundance,
sometimes we have to disappointpeople.
(16:34):
Sometimes we have to disappointpeople.
but my bigger, my biggestprayer because I think sometimes
people be out here living, I'mgonna live a life that I want
and I don't, it doesn't matter.
I think for one, before youstart doing that, I think it's
important to have discernment.
I think it's important to havewisdom.
Hello.
I think it's important to havehumility in the midst of it.
(16:55):
but I think it's superimportant to be intentional,
discernment as in gettingconnected with God so that you
know exactly what life God wantsyou to live.
and then wisdom in a sense ofyou being able to ask people for
advice and support, because Ithink God speaks to us through
people too.
Oftentimes people are oh myGod, God told me this thing, but
God often uses other people totalk to us.
(17:17):
Tap in, use God, use the peoplethrough God, use God through
people.
I don't know.
you get what I'm saying?
make sure that you do that.
The other thing is,particularly as I am
experiencing grief and as you,if you are experiencing grief,
(17:37):
is I want you to look at theoverflow.
I want you to look at theoverflow.
I want you to look at thebeauty of life, and I want you
to exist within the gratitudesof life in the midst of grief.
I want you to do that because,it's important because it is
stabilizes you.
(17:57):
It really does because I thinkwhen you lose someone you lose
sight of the beauty of life youdo.
You do sometimes if that's you.
and I think existing within thegratitude and existing within
the overflow rebalances you fromthe heaviness of it all and
brings you back to thelightness.
I.
And one of my mentors shout outto Queen mother.
(18:19):
She's phenomenal and I love herin every way possible.
She like, every time Icomplain, she's you need to
exist in gratitude.
And I'm like, I am.
I'm so grateful of all thesethings.
But no, she's right though.
in sense of I think theintentionality around existing
and gratitude is important.
The intentionality aroundexisting and gratitude is
important.
The intentionality aroundslowing down to existing
gratitude is super important.
(18:41):
So I want you to do that.
I want you to be intentionalabout existing in gratitude,
even in the small things.
I know for me right now, I'vebeen thinking about like how
much I love water and how much Ilove drinking from a wine glass
with water in it 'cause I don'tdrink.
and it's been fill, filling mewith joy.
And, my gratitude is that Ihave this one glass that my
(19:03):
sister-in-law gave me, for free.
God.
God is so good.
Thank you.
God.
If folks don't know whatAlhamdulillah mean, thank you,
God.
I have this wine glass, and Ifell in love with drinking water
from a wine glass, and that'sbeen my thing lately, So I'm
grateful that I have the abilityto, for one, have water, two,
(19:24):
have a wine glass, and thenthree, use my hands to drink it.
And then four, my body isconsuming the water healthily.
It be the small things.
It is a small things in lifethat we need to just really
appreciate.
And then the bigger things thathey, I'm good.
And of course things are notperfect.
And of course I am activelyfighting for things that I want
(19:47):
and then I sometimes I docomplain, I also.
Try to combat that with,gratitude.
but I think particularly whenwe are losing someone, when
we've lost someone, I think it'simportant to really think about
the gratitudes of life.
And being grateful in the midstof the grief and being grateful
of your experience with them.
being grateful for.
(20:08):
For further life and beinggrateful that you have life and
being grateful that you haveother loved ones as well, and
being grateful that you cancontinue to create the life that
you want.
and being more intentional.
So let's do that.
let's be grateful.
And the last part, or the lasttwo parts that I wanna talk
about is the body and thespirit, of course are two
(20:29):
different things, I went to afuneral the other day.
Shout out to Miss Jackie.
she was lovely.
I met her a few times.
This was, one of my siblings,one of my brothers
non-biological brothers, motherwho transitioned and I went to
her funeral a few days ago andjust watching life.
Ooh.
And I went to another funeral,to be quite honest, maybe a few
weeks ago.
and being in a space of thebody just allows you to
(20:53):
experience that.
hey, this body's temporary.
Our spirit, our being is beyondthis body.
and I think two things arehappening.
One, I think it makes youevaluate and appreciate the body
because this is a temporaryvessel.
And then two, I think it makesyou.
Think about who am Ispiritually and how do I exist
(21:15):
within my mind, my body, myspirit, in it all And how do I
exude lightness so that myspirit can be light?
because the body is the shell,I.
To, to your spirit.
But it's not the only thingbecause I think we exist beyond
our bodies.
I think sometimes when we stepinto a room, our energy shows
up, our spirit shows up evensometimes before we do.
(21:36):
and then sometimes when weleave, our energy continues to
impact the people around us andleave a lasting impression.
I want you to think about themind, body and the spirit, the
separation between those thingsand the heart.
and lastly, I wanna say thatwhen you are losing someone or
when you've lost someone, youcan't replace them.
Like I mentioned, they'reirreplaceable.
(21:57):
That's the reality.
They're irreplaceable.
And I think it's okay to findpeace with honoring them.
The other thing that I wannatalk a little bit more about, I
feel like this is a three partepisode, to be quite honest.
'cause I have more to say.
I do, I do.
Look, your girl is talking.
Um, is that, I think that thereis so particularly, so I'm
(22:19):
Muslim.
I'm Muslim and I have a lot offriends who are Buddhist.
I have a lot of friends who areChristian.
I have a lot of friends whopractice iffa.
I have a lot of friends who,are spiritually open and fluid
and, use crystals.
I have a lot of different, avariety of friends.
And one of the things that Ifind most fascinating,
particularly when we, when itcomes to religious spaces, is
(22:40):
the idea of honoring ancestors.
and let me define ancestors,and I'm talking about ancestors
as in someone who transitionedto the other realm.
no longer physically with us,so someone who's passed away.
And I think that's somethingthat we don't talk about as
much, the idea of honoringancestors, and particularly in
religious spaces, we talk abouthow bad it is, to honor your
ancestors so we talk about makesure that you're, you don't
(23:03):
believe that God is yourancestor.
that type of equivalence.
One of the things that I'mbecoming more at peace with has
become me thinking about how doI honor the folks who have
transitioned while also honoringGod, And honor God so that I am
honoring the people whotransitioned?
And I think particularly whenit comes to honoring of
ancestors versus veneration, Ithink these are two different
(23:23):
things.
I think when it comes tohonoring of ancestors, I think
there's a way to do it.
And I think it's innatelywithin our culture, to be quite
honest.
so a few things that I thinkthat we honor, I.
When it comes to ancestors,there's sometimes they're names,
sometimes they're pictures.
We post pictures on the walls.
Sometimes we use their names ont-shirts.
(23:44):
sometimes we put their names inbooks.
Sometimes we, we name buildingsafter them, street names after
them.
So there are definitelydifferent, ways that.
In our society, we've embeddedhonoring of our ancestors, that
we are not necessarily consciousof.
And I don't think there'sanything wrong with that.
the idea of honoring someonewho has made a lasting a
(24:06):
positive, beautiful impressiononto the world.
But I find it interesting when,particularly in many religious
spaces when we're like, youshould not be talking to your
ancestors.
I think there's a way to honoryour ancestors without you
feeling you're going againstyour religion.
If your religion is like,ancestors are bad, It's okay to
honor the loved one who haspassed away.
That is okay.
(24:27):
That is okay.
And I think there's aparticular level of peace that
you get when you remember them,because I think that's a way of
honoring too remembrance ishonor.
you talking about them is honoryou.
Writing a book and dedicatingthe book with their names is
honor you creating a lifebecause you know that's what
they wanted you to do is honor.
(24:48):
you lighting a candle on theirbirthday is honoring 'cause I
think if I were to, when I losemore people and God don't let it
happen anytime soon, pleasedon't.
But when it does happen at somepoint, what I would, they want
me to forget them?
The answer is no.
The answer is no.
(25:10):
And the people who havepositively impacted what I want
them to forget me.
No, remember me.
Remember me to be the personwho was Hey, y'all, live a life.
Create a good life.
Create a divinely good life.
Create a life filled withpurpose.
Create that, do that.
That's the least you could do.
Remember that?
Remember I said that and createa life that you're filled with
joy and peace and purpose.
(25:32):
create that.
I would like people who.
When I do transition for themto remember me and for them to
honor me.
So definitely make sure thatyou are thinking about how are
you feeling, particularly whenit comes to what you believe
religiously, spiritually, andalso what you find peace with in
the midst of, you losing aloved one.
So initially I said that I wasgonna talk about what different
(25:52):
religions say.
But I realized that we're about30 ish minutes in and I don't
think that I have the time to dothat.
so during the next episode,we're gonna be talking about
what different religions say andjust my other ideas about
losing someone in grief, andgoing through those phases.
but once again, thank you somuch for watching this episode.
(26:14):
I really, really, really,really, really appreciate your
support.
and I pray that you also arethinking about what dreams you
have.
And taking the steps, the smallsteps to pursue those dreams.
'cause my dream is for me to dothis and although I'm
inconsistent, hello God, what Iam committed to is showing up
(26:35):
regardless of how inconsistent Iam.
And I hope the same for you, Ipray that particularly if you're
developing a habit, I pray thatyou, start small.
And then you develop the habitand then expand and be
consistent.
One day I'll be more consistentin posting.
And y'all will see this threemonths, six months
inconsistency, ain't it?
Oh, and last piece.
And this is, I'm talking aboutthe three months, six months of
(26:58):
me posting.
'cause that's what it's beenlately.
is I've celebrated one year ofthis podcast, to be quite
honest.
I uploaded my first episode, Ithink, I think June 19th or June
20th.
So that's when I started.
so it's been a year and I havefive episodes in and wow.
as I'm thinking about myinconsistencies around posting
an episode and filming anepisode, I think about girl,
(27:22):
it's been a year and you madefive episodes more than you did
last year.
Y'all, let's celebrate that.
Let's celebrate the small wins.
I could have been like, oh myGod, I did not post it
consistently and I had I wasplanning on doing it at least
every month.
Really my goal is for me to doit every week, but girl.
So rather than me complainingand thinking about oh my God,
and me downplaying my, my, myaccomplishments and looking at
(27:44):
the inconsistencies I'm gonnacelebrate while I continue to
become more consistent.
so I, I hope that y'all do thattoo.
as you continue to become moreconsistent, that you celebrate
the inconsistencies and that youcontinue to do your best and
for you to be kind to yourselfas you are inconsistent so that
you can build the consistency,habit, and pattern and.
and muscle.
(28:04):
So once again, thank you.
So what I want you to do forthis episode is for you to
comment, what you, what yourthoughts are about, losing
someone.
what's your thoughts?
what are your thoughtsgenerally?
I want you to share thisepisode with someone who might
need watch it with a friend.
I wanna hear what you think, So
Habibat (28:21):
on
Speaker (28:21):
every episode I end off with a prayer, so if you don't
already know, activate God is, apodcast, a space, a community
where we talk about, God one,it's an interfaith multifaith
space where I post daily prayerson social media.
I also have a podcast and talkgenerally about life.
And I definitely wanna expandaccordingly to these things.
(28:42):
But one of the things that I'mconsistent in and desire to
continue supporting peoplethrough is through prayer.
now.
We are going to pray.
so assume a posture, reverence,creator.
God, we thank you for yetanother day.
We thank you for the fact thatyou put air in our lungs.
our heart is working.
We thank you.
We thank you for all that youare doing all that you've done
(29:05):
and all that you will do in ourlife.
God.
I know this episode we weretalking about grief.
We were talking about losing aloved ones.
We were talking about what doesit look like for us to create a
life that we want?
But I'm asking that youcontinue to send protection to
those who have lost anyone.
and also anyone who'sexperiencing grief in any form.
(29:26):
So God, please be with them.
Please protect them.
Please give them peace.
Please give them harmony.
Please allow them to experiencethe emotions while also
supporting them in creating thelife that they were meant to
live in.
Help them create a good life.
God, we also ask that youcontinue to allow us to live
(29:47):
life with purpose.
With peace and with yourblessings.
We ask that we do not feardeath, but rather we fear living
without living the life thatyou've called us to live.
God, please help us create thelife that you called us to live.
We hope that we get toexperience the best steps in
(30:13):
this life.
We pray that anyone who isexperiencing grief in any forms,
that they find peace, that theyhave people around them who are
supporting them, that they havesigns and symbols, and your
glory tapped around, coveringthem, hovering all over them.
(30:33):
God, we ask that you continueto really support us.
Help us.
And for us to just breathe.
We ask that you continue toallow us to exist.
Exist in a good life.
God, we thank you.
Thank you.
Ameen.
(30:55):
Amen.
And Ase...! So y'all, thank youso much once again for watching
this episode.
I really, really, reallyappreciate it.
So if you have not already,please definitely comment, like,
share, and let's continue tohaving these conversations and I
hope that, amongst your lovedones, y'all can continue having
these conversations about death,and life.
and once again, your support isgreatly appreciated.
(31:17):
So thank you for watching.
Have a great day.
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.