March 8, 2025 • 32 mins
In this episode I interviewed Sandy, a holistic sex and intimacy coach. Sandy shares her journey from a holistic nutritionist to a sex and intimacy coach, emphasizing the importance of effective communication in relationships. She offers insights into maintaining intimacy, balancing hormones, and the benefits of sex for overall health. Sandy also addresses common issues such as the impact of aging, medications on libido, and the significance of mutual trust. Listeners will find expert advice on nurturing a healthy and satisfying intimate relationship.
What You’ll Learn:
- How overall health (nutrition, exercise, sleep) affects libido and intimacy
- Simple ways to talk honestly about your wants, limits, and what you’re missing—without upsetting each other
- Why variety, being spontaneous, and having an emotional bond can bring new life to your sex life
- How hormonal shifts, medications, and self-image issues can impact libido—and what you can do to adapt
- Simple ways to boost confidence in your body, try new things in bed, and care for each other’s needs
Click Here to read a blog related to this episode.
Be sure to check the webpage of Sandy at the Active Action Podcast Website to learn more about her work, and ways to connect with her.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I am a holistic sex and intimacy coach, and the holistic part comes from,
(00:06):
I actually have a background as a holistic nutritionist.
If you don't tell the person that you're with what it is that you want,
how are they supposed to give it to you? Health and longevity is what it's all
about. It's eating healthy, it's getting sleep,
it's moving your body, and by the way sex is a great exercise,
(00:29):
and it's so good for your health on so many levels,
because it can help balance the hormones. Sometimes quickies are great,
other times longer sessions are fantastic. It
really should be a mix, and that way you can keep the spark alive,
because if you're doing the same old same old all the time, it gets
(00:50):
boring as hell really fast. Do you want your ego stroked, or do you want to have
a satisfactory sex life and relationship?
You're tuned into the Active Action Podcast. Step into a world of engaging
(01:13):
conversations with leading experts, where every episode is your chance to
learn, grow, and stay inspired. Become our
premium supporter and get access to expert articles and strategy guides on
personal and professional development, and enjoy lots of other exclusive
features. Visit our website activeaction.fm for
more information and to explore all episodes. Don't forget to check our
(01:36):
merchandise for exciting goodies at activeaction.shop.
Stay active and take action.
Hello everyone, good evening and welcome to another episode of the
Active Action Podcast. I'm with you Dr. Nazeeb, back with again
with another episode where we inspire you to stay
(01:58):
active and take action. Like always today we have a
wonderful guest with us, but before that I just wanted to let you know about some
updates of the podcast. So recently we have announced in our
supporters program for our Active Action Podcast. So if you be a
supporter you'll get all kind of premium perks and exclusive features like
(02:18):
getting access to premium articles on personal professional
development as well as doing well in business and that
apart from that we also launched our merchandise very recently. So if you do
want to purchase some of those or want to take a look I encourage to go
to www.activeaction.shop. So without further
(02:39):
due let's dive into the topic today. Today we have with us our guest Sandy
and the topic that we are going to talk about today is the importance of
maintaining a healthy and intimate relationship. Sandy
is a holistic sex and intimacy coach at Legs Talk Sex with Sandy
and host of the Sunday Night Sex Talk. So Sandy is actually all about empowering
(03:06):
women to reclaim their sensuality and step into their most
vibrant and confident selves. As a holistic sex expert and intimacy coach
she is dedicated to helping women navigate their desires,
figuring out what truly excites them and learning
how to share those needs with their partner. So
it's a very interesting topic today and I've been waiting a lot
(03:29):
to meet with Sandy and record this episode. I hope
we'll get to learn some wonderful things especially if you are
with your partner so you might find this episode
interesting and valuable. So without further ado let's
go to Sandy. So Sandy how are you doing this evening?
Hi there I am fantastic thank you and thank you so much for having me as a
(03:53):
guest on the show and I've been very excited to do this as well so I'm
looking forward to the conversation. Thank you so much Sandy. So Sandy do
you like to introduce yourself to our audience?
I am a holistic sex and intimacy coach and the holistic part comes from
I actually have a background as a holistic nutritionist
(04:17):
and when I was in school to become a nutritionist they kept telling me to
find my niche and I was like oh my god I've been doing the same thing for 30
years the last thing I want to do is get stuck in a rut again and yeah
so I wanted to help everybody because that's just kind of my personality
after my second client I discovered that I needed to find a niche
(04:40):
because nutrition is so vast of a subject
and in order to become a real expert in any one field you really got a niche
down so it long story short it went from
weight loss to hormone balancing to sex and hormones and then I finally
(05:02):
realized my calling was actually helping people
helping couples really connect and part of that is
because women have so much going on I mean men do too
but women have we're just different and you know we've got hormones happening
and then all the things we need to be doing or feel
(05:23):
that we need to be doing and a lot of women have experienced
some sort of sexual trauma or
inappropriateness and it can really affect your
self-worth and your confidence and
(05:45):
that's one of the things that I love to do is to help women get more confident
tap into their internal sexiness and sexy isn't a thing it's not what you
wear it's not how you look it's not a body size
it's what comes from within it's how you feel
about you and how you project yourself to the world
(06:09):
and that sexy charisma will help you in every aspect of your life
and that's kind of a little passionate about that so
it's important yes for sure and thank you so much
sandy for talking about this I know like you know
there are individuals who are not comfortable
(06:32):
about talking about sex and intimacy but indeed we cannot deny that these are
very very integral parts of life and the more you talk the more you
discuss the more you improve it so there is no way of hiding things but
if you can definitely share some very valuable advice
to our listeners in this episode I just want to ask
(06:53):
sandy like because you know today's topic is the importance of maintaining
and healthy and intimate relationship what does
uh healthy intimate relationship mean to you
it's about connecting with your partner communication and I talk about this
all the time communication is the most important thing in a
(07:16):
relationship because if you're not communicating and
I should clarify this it's effective communication because if you're not
really speaking to your partner in a way that they understand and don't
get offended and don't get upset by what you're
(07:36):
saying that can make all the difference it's
like if so
sex is a hot topic even within a lot of relationships
because a lot of stuff happens it can be
hormonal it can be meds it can be a breakdown in the relationship itself
(07:58):
there's all kinds of reasons why one party may not be that interested
anymore in actually engaging in any kind of
sexual relationship with their partner it's really sad and it really bothers
me because it can affect your relationship and it
can affect other areas of your life as well
(08:21):
so by communicating and allowing the your partner to understand how you're
feeling and why it is that you don't want to do something whether it's sex
in general or whether it's any specific act you know
and part of the problem is that he'll be all ready to go he wants some
(08:43):
loving she's tired she's exhausted from an
extremely busy day and rather than just saying no
perhaps saying something like you know what i'm really exhausted
can we do this another night right or maybe can we pick this up in
the morning and everybody's situation is a little
(09:04):
different but it's that kind of thing where it's like you open up and you tell
the person that it's like no it's not you or if hurtner isn't
satisfying you in a way that you prefer or enjoy you've got to be able to
open up and say hey you know what can you do
(09:27):
this instead and the other person needs to but not in a not in a demeaning way
not in a put down way not in a way that says
hey you're not making me happy you know you're not satisfying
but then the other person needs to accept
that direction as opposed to criticism so that's kind of
(09:49):
a lot of where the whole communication kind of comes in
and is so important because without it there's misunderstandings there's
resentment and that's no way to that's no way to
live right exactly and how you say that sandy that it is
the communication pieces that is like the most important things and
(10:10):
open communication is like really really necessary to have that
you know that friendliness or to have that like open conversation
i just wanted to ask you really quickly do
there are couples that you know they hesitate to like tell
their desires to like one another or that share
those perspectives and you know there is like a bit of a hesitancy although
(10:32):
like they're sharing a bit they're saying together
but that hesitancy it has it's kind of like invisible there
so can you provide us with some tips or some advice on how to draw that layer
and have that open communication more yeah
so here's the thing you marry the person or you're living with the person
(10:53):
that should be your
safest most intense relationship
if you don't tell the person that you're with
what it is that you want
(11:15):
how are they supposed to give it to you so it kind of comes from both both ends
you need to feel safe enough with your partner to know that you can
say something to them and they're not going to take it
again offensively or as a complaint if you go in with the attitude
(11:38):
that i'm going to listen to what my partner says
and i'm going to allow them space and i'm going to allow them to be able to
just tell me what it is that they want so i
can serve them better and it goes both ways right
so it's not all about what the woman wants it's about what the man wants as
well and and what pleases them and we need to be able to feel safe
(12:05):
enough with our partners to be able to talk
openly and that comes with experience it comes with well if it's really
bad then you talk to somebody like me who can guide you through it but both
parties have to be open to listening as well as speaking
(12:28):
how they what it is that they want right thank you so much sandy for
that perspective i really encourage couples to have that open communication
and just you know come out to say what you want to say from your own heart
and definitely i really like the point you said that if you don't
tell someone what you need they cannot give it to you so it's very important to
(12:51):
understand that sandy i also want to ask you you know
there's a concept or there's a thing that goes into
people's mind that sex or intimacy it kind of goes away
it kind of decreases as you age as you stay together it comes
with the duration but as a holistic expert can you provide
(13:12):
some perspective or insights on that it takes work relationships take work and
the problem arises a lot when people get complacent
when they take each other for granted so making sure that you're doing those
little extra things for your partner both ways it's not all one-sided
(13:36):
the other challenge that comes up is as we age
we start and more so for women than men but
because our hormonal system is a lot more complicated than men's
and as we i'm post-menopausal so it's but it doesn't just because you're
ladies just because you're post-menopausal does not mean that you
(13:59):
cannot enjoy sex the cool thing is is that you don't have
any interruptions during the month and
you get to know your own body and first and this is another big issue for a lot
of women especially as we start to get as we age
as a lot of women have kids the weight starts to creep up
(14:26):
and that can have such a huge impact on how the guy doesn't care the woman
cares and the woman feels very self-conscious
and then she starts to lose her confidence
you just gotta understand that ladies men don't care near as much as we do
like they're just happy to you know have a play partner
(14:49):
to put it bluntly but the other thing is so we're going through these hormonal
changes our bodies are shifting they're a little different maybe you're not all
that enthralled with his body anymore it's so important in order like health
first and foremost health and longevity is what it's all
about it's eating healthy it's getting sleep it's
(15:12):
moving your body and by the way sex is great exercise
and it's so good for your health on so many levels
because it can help balance the hormones it's really important for men
for prostate health and that's why ladies
when the guy says that he's got to
(15:33):
be pleasured in one way or another he's not kidding it's
for his health so he's not just making it up
he's he it is a fact not to make any woman feel obligated
but they have to perform or they have to do something
i'm just saying he's not so hormonal changes for both men and
(15:59):
women stress is huge and usually with if a man is
having some challenges in the bedroom it's
usually his testosterone is too low so his diet is off
he's not working out weight training is the best thing for
to stop to boost testosterone zinc is also very important so taking a
(16:21):
moderate amount of zinc is important as well
um but being able to clear your mind for both men and women is so
important for a really good sexual experience
sometimes quickies are great other times longer sessions are
fantastic it really should be a mix and that way you can keep the spark
(16:42):
life just but because if you're doing the same old same old
all the time it gets boring as hell really fast so
keeping each other engaged is so important
and understanding that as we get older things do change
it's not inevitable it's not that oh well you know because i'm such an age or
(17:07):
because this is happening or whatever that automatically
interested in sex anymore not necessarily
you can do something about that
thank you so much for um that perspective and for the available advice
sandy i wanted to ask piggyback you actually in one of the
(17:27):
thoughts that you just mentioned it's that you say that whenever we have to
make the sex enjoyable and we have to you know enjoy and savor that moment
oftentimes there is that feeling that two people are together but they are not
enjoying things um also one reason might be that the guy
is getting nervous or the girl is not getting satisfied or not having fulfilled
(17:51):
the needs but there is this tension that goes on
between them sex would never be enjoyable at all
so what is your advice to the couples or the team
or the partners that are together how can they make their sex or intimacy
life more enjoyable
(18:13):
talk about it and that means opening up and being vulnerable and that is not
easy and it doesn't feel safe sometimes but if you're married if you're been
long-term with someone then
we need to develop a safety zone to be able to open up and express how we
(18:36):
feel express what we need without the fear of any kind of
retribution and people need to learn how to speak
to each other without it coming across sounding
like it's a criticism or that it's like well you're not doing it right
(18:56):
okay how do you do it right like provide information
because by just saying i'm not satisfied by not wanting to start
because you're not satisfied well if you're not satisfied
why what is it that your partner isn't doing or is doing
(19:20):
that's not satisfying you so i know i harp on this a lot and it's because
it's important you've got to talk and you know like sex is a very
intimate it's a very energy it's an exchange of energies
there's a spirituality to it that most people don't understand
(19:44):
and i know it sounds a little you know woo-woo and
everything but hey i'm i'm a crystal wearing card reading
intuitive aquarius so but being able to open up and really
talk to each other and if you don't know how to do that
then reach out to someone like me but it doesn't have to be me obviously
(20:08):
but just speak to someone in the business
who you feel safe with and
not a lot of men don't like that kind of third party
they're because they're guys they're supposed to know these things and it's
masculinity and the whole bit and it's like yeah but
(20:30):
do you want your ego stroke
or do you want to have a satisfactory sex life
and relationship we get so we're so distracted by so many things
going on in our lives and you know as you age you know if
you've had kids the kids are gone sometimes the parents are around now but
(20:52):
you're more likely to have alone time the problem is is that if you do not
maintain a strong intimate relationship from the
time that you get involved until you know the kids are out of
the house and all of a sudden you're sitting there and you're like
if you've put it on the back burner because the kids are around
(21:16):
then 20 say 20 years later you're kind of looking at this person
and you don't have any connection with them anymore
whether it's physical emotional mental spiritual doesn't matter
you're with a stranger and some of my clients have told me like my
male clients they will often say like she doesn't
(21:39):
even touch me anymore at all and i'm like no that's just like
why did that happen that's what i love to dig into is what's going on
in the relationship and how can we make it better
thank you so much for explaining that sandy it's a lot of food for thought
(22:01):
what is the actual problem and then you know experts like you are really really
helpful to communicate and work together and figure out those
issues i just wanted to say that health issues can cause a lot
and a lot of medications can interfere with libido
and with hormone balances that can be part
(22:23):
of what the challenge is if a couple is not like if the if the
one party and it's not always the woman sometimes it's the man
but if one party is not interested in sex anywhere and they may have a great
relationship outside of the bedroom but when it comes to that then you want
(22:44):
to look at health issues you want to look at whether there are
you on any medications and if you're not on meds
you have any kind of sometimes high blood pressure will
create problems statins taking statins is a
or diabetes medication some of the biggest killers a libido
(23:05):
out there like it's horrendous and there's natural ways of
combating that so that's just another aspect
of how health issues can really interfere with
with your sex life right thank you so much sandy for imparting
that wisdom piggybacking that i just want to ask you
(23:28):
you already mentioned that some of the things that can impact sex life like the
medication and the issues that you mentioned i know there are some
things that are not objective like lack of trust
or that romantic relationship that instill
meant of that trust and patience for one another
so i just there are so many things there are so many different key players when
(23:52):
safe and healthy sexual life goes on but to to you what are some of these
issues you know you feel that why there might be a lack of
trust or what are the other some of these issues that you think
that impacts sex lack of trust is huge
and a lot of women have major issues with men watching porn for
(24:17):
instance and if it's once in a while it's
i mean everyone's entitled to how they feel my question
to women is why do you feel
because why is that such a bad thing now if it's ours
and ours and they're not touching you that's an issue
(24:39):
that's a big issue and porn has been one of the
worst one of the biggest contributors to creating issues within relationships
they're not it's not real it's just it's
they're movies and there's outtakes and there's you know stopping and starting
in the whole bit but the problem is for the guys who are
(25:02):
watching it a lot they're getting number one it interferes
with dopamine because they're getting these dopamine hits
also becomes a dopamine addiction and that's where you know i mean even
video games can do the same thing so and yes women like
(25:23):
it is normal and it is completely understandable to
only want your partner to want you
but if they're watching it once in a while and preferably it's the two of you
watching it together because i mean ideally that would be
a great thing to do rather than only one
(25:45):
watching it so use it as a little inspiration
use it as something to help turn you on now men are very visual
women are much more emotional so that's part of the challenge as well but
lack of trust sometimes is if one party feels like the other party
(26:12):
is spending too much time talking to other people
online especially and they don't know exactly what's going on
it can create a lack of trust because it's like well why are you
talking to this person all the time why are you always having a
conversation with them understandably it can make them feel
(26:33):
like they're a second fiddle and your partner should always be the
number one person in your life i've said to yourself first you know
first you take care of you as far as other people your partner
should always come first they should always be the most important
person in your life but it's and it's doing things to
(26:55):
let your partner know that they are number one in
their life it's like when you get home you put the phone away you don't spend
all night on the phone or online like spend time with your
with your person not just watching tv but like
doing stuff together go for a walk have a nice dinner where you actually oh i
(27:16):
don't know talk
about anything about everything you know put some nice music on have a glass of
wine or glass of water it doesn't really matter
but put some sexy music on and just spontaneously cook together
dance around the house it can be a slow romantic dance where you hold each other
(27:39):
tight or it can just be something silly and fun
you know life is too serious and there's too much
crap going on in the world that it's like you can't learn what's fun together
for sure for sure thank you so much sandy i really appreciate it and i think my
audiences would also get like benefited that
(28:01):
maybe from those as well i just want to like ask you
oh we know like we're nearing our time but i just want to like ask you
really quickly you know like as a holistic sex expert and an intimacy
coach what do you actually do and how do you
actually support your clients and also like how can my
audience or any potential client who actually need this advice
(28:23):
or help from you how can they reach out to you
okay so i have a 12-week one-on-one personalized program it is specific to
your situation and i manage everything from if you're
lacking confidence if you're the big thing for women
especially is libido it's like you're just not feeling it
(28:48):
a lot of women will come and they need to figure out why they're not
you know it's like they feel bad it's like they used to like sex but now they
don't or if they get into it then they start to
but they want to figure out what the problem is
the other thing too is if they're having issues with their
(29:10):
partner they come to me and i can help them
learn to communicate better together and work on getting a really solid
intimate relationship together and because i'm a holistic it's
it's a diet it's exercise it's sleep it's nutrition it's
(29:33):
mindset it's so many different things
all wrapped up into one
and if you're just having a little and then so if that's a
kind of my 12-week course i also offer a an eight-week
email course if things are not bad but they're just getting a little stale
(29:55):
no big issue it's just you know you kind of want to spice things up a little bit
then i have a it's eight weeks it's an email a week and you get an assignment
and it's fun yeah they're fun and easy they're not big commit time
commitments but it's all geared towards spicing things up a little
(30:16):
bit and in order to contact me you can reach
me at sandy at letstalksexwithsandy.com
you can reach out to me on facebook all of my handles are
letstalksexwithsandy just to keep it easy i'm also on youtube
and all of my sunday night sex talk episodes are on there
(30:39):
thank you so much for the information sandy i just wanted to really quickly
let everyone know that if you go to our website your audience
www.activeaction.fm just find search sandy's name and you will
find her webpage in that webpage there will be her bio and all the social media
links that she's talking about so definitely you can get in touch with
(30:59):
her if you're looking to do that apart from that thank you so much
sandy i really appreciate coming on today's podcast and sharing some very
valuable advice regarding sex intimacy you know and
romantic relationship that my audience would definitely you know
i feel would find helpful dear audience thank you for listening
uh to the episode of the active action podcast so we were talking with sandy
(31:24):
and holistic sex and intimacy coach i hope you got to
learn some very important valuable information about
personal relationship sex and intimacy so if you are having any issues with
your personal intimate life or your sex life please don't hesitate to reach out
to sandy apart from that thank you so much
again for tuning in and i'm dr nazif if you like our video
(31:48):
if you find value to it don't forget to provide us a tip in
www.activeaction.fm
slash tip also i really encourage you to stay active and take action until the
next episode drops in so take care everybody
(32:11):
thank you for joining us on the active action podcast at active action dot fm
we hope today's episode gave you some entertainment fresh perspectives and a
little extra motivation to take action in your own life
don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode
and if you enjoyed the show share it with someone who might love it too
oh one more thing become our premium supporter and get access to expert
(32:33):
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take care stay active and take action
I am a holistic sex and intimacy coach, and the holistic part comes from,
(00:06):
I actually have a background as a holistic nutritionist.
If you don't tell the person that you're with what it is that you want,
how are they supposed to give it to you? Health and longevity is what it's all
about. It's eating healthy, it's getting sleep,
it's moving your body, and by the way sex is a great exercise,
(00:29):
and it's so good for your health on so many levels,
because it can help balance the hormones. Sometimes quickies are great,
other times longer sessions are fantastic. It
really should be a mix, and that way you can keep the spark alive,
because if you're doing the same old same old all the time, it gets
(00:50):
boring as hell really fast. Do you want your ego stroked, or do you want to have
a satisfactory sex life and relationship?
You're tuned into the Active Action Podcast. Step into a world of engaging
(01:13):
conversations with leading experts, where every episode is your chance to
learn, grow, and stay inspired. Become our
premium supporter and get access to expert articles and strategy guides on
personal and professional development, and enjoy lots of other exclusive
features. Visit our website activeaction.fm for
more information and to explore all episodes. Don't forget to check our
(01:36):
merchandise for exciting goodies at activeaction.shop.
Stay active and take action.
Hello everyone, good evening and welcome to another episode of the
Active Action Podcast. I'm with you Dr. Nazeeb, back with again
with another episode where we inspire you to stay
(01:58):
active and take action. Like always today we have a
wonderful guest with us, but before that I just wanted to let you know about some
updates of the podcast. So recently we have announced in our
supporters program for our Active Action Podcast. So if you be a
supporter you'll get all kind of premium perks and exclusive features like
(02:18):
getting access to premium articles on personal professional
development as well as doing well in business and that
apart from that we also launched our merchandise very recently. So if you do
want to purchase some of those or want to take a look I encourage to go
to www.activeaction.shop. So without further
(02:39):
due let's dive into the topic today. Today we have with us our guest Sandy
and the topic that we are going to talk about today is the importance of
maintaining a healthy and intimate relationship. Sandy
is a holistic sex and intimacy coach at Legs Talk Sex with Sandy
and host of the Sunday Night Sex Talk. So Sandy is actually all about empowering
(03:06):
women to reclaim their sensuality and step into their most
vibrant and confident selves. As a holistic sex expert and intimacy coach
she is dedicated to helping women navigate their desires,
figuring out what truly excites them and learning
how to share those needs with their partner. So
it's a very interesting topic today and I've been waiting a lot
(03:29):
to meet with Sandy and record this episode. I hope
we'll get to learn some wonderful things especially if you are
with your partner so you might find this episode
interesting and valuable. So without further ado let's
go to Sandy. So Sandy how are you doing this evening?
Hi there I am fantastic thank you and thank you so much for having me as a
(03:53):
guest on the show and I've been very excited to do this as well so I'm
looking forward to the conversation. Thank you so much Sandy. So Sandy do
you like to introduce yourself to our audience?
I am a holistic sex and intimacy coach and the holistic part comes from
I actually have a background as a holistic nutritionist
(04:17):
and when I was in school to become a nutritionist they kept telling me to
find my niche and I was like oh my god I've been doing the same thing for 30
years the last thing I want to do is get stuck in a rut again and yeah
so I wanted to help everybody because that's just kind of my personality
after my second client I discovered that I needed to find a niche
(04:40):
because nutrition is so vast of a subject
and in order to become a real expert in any one field you really got a niche
down so it long story short it went from
weight loss to hormone balancing to sex and hormones and then I finally
(05:02):
realized my calling was actually helping people
helping couples really connect and part of that is
because women have so much going on I mean men do too
but women have we're just different and you know we've got hormones happening
and then all the things we need to be doing or feel
(05:23):
that we need to be doing and a lot of women have experienced
some sort of sexual trauma or
inappropriateness and it can really affect your
self-worth and your confidence and
(05:45):
that's one of the things that I love to do is to help women get more confident
tap into their internal sexiness and sexy isn't a thing it's not what you
wear it's not how you look it's not a body size
it's what comes from within it's how you feel
about you and how you project yourself to the world
(06:09):
and that sexy charisma will help you in every aspect of your life
and that's kind of a little passionate about that so
it's important yes for sure and thank you so much
sandy for talking about this I know like you know
there are individuals who are not comfortable
(06:32):
about talking about sex and intimacy but indeed we cannot deny that these are
very very integral parts of life and the more you talk the more you
discuss the more you improve it so there is no way of hiding things but
if you can definitely share some very valuable advice
to our listeners in this episode I just want to ask
(06:53):
sandy like because you know today's topic is the importance of maintaining
and healthy and intimate relationship what does
uh healthy intimate relationship mean to you
it's about connecting with your partner communication and I talk about this
all the time communication is the most important thing in a
(07:16):
relationship because if you're not communicating and
I should clarify this it's effective communication because if you're not
really speaking to your partner in a way that they understand and don't
get offended and don't get upset by what you're
(07:36):
saying that can make all the difference it's
like if so
sex is a hot topic even within a lot of relationships
because a lot of stuff happens it can be
hormonal it can be meds it can be a breakdown in the relationship itself
(07:58):
there's all kinds of reasons why one party may not be that interested
anymore in actually engaging in any kind of
sexual relationship with their partner it's really sad and it really bothers
me because it can affect your relationship and it
can affect other areas of your life as well
(08:21):
so by communicating and allowing the your partner to understand how you're
feeling and why it is that you don't want to do something whether it's sex
in general or whether it's any specific act you know
and part of the problem is that he'll be all ready to go he wants some
(08:43):
loving she's tired she's exhausted from an
extremely busy day and rather than just saying no
perhaps saying something like you know what i'm really exhausted
can we do this another night right or maybe can we pick this up in
the morning and everybody's situation is a little
(09:04):
different but it's that kind of thing where it's like you open up and you tell
the person that it's like no it's not you or if hurtner isn't
satisfying you in a way that you prefer or enjoy you've got to be able to
open up and say hey you know what can you do
(09:27):
this instead and the other person needs to but not in a not in a demeaning way
not in a put down way not in a way that says
hey you're not making me happy you know you're not satisfying
but then the other person needs to accept
that direction as opposed to criticism so that's kind of
(09:49):
a lot of where the whole communication kind of comes in
and is so important because without it there's misunderstandings there's
resentment and that's no way to that's no way to
live right exactly and how you say that sandy that it is
the communication pieces that is like the most important things and
(10:10):
open communication is like really really necessary to have that
you know that friendliness or to have that like open conversation
i just wanted to ask you really quickly do
there are couples that you know they hesitate to like tell
their desires to like one another or that share
those perspectives and you know there is like a bit of a hesitancy although
(10:32):
like they're sharing a bit they're saying together
but that hesitancy it has it's kind of like invisible there
so can you provide us with some tips or some advice on how to draw that layer
and have that open communication more yeah
so here's the thing you marry the person or you're living with the person
(10:53):
that should be your
safest most intense relationship
if you don't tell the person that you're with
what it is that you want
(11:15):
how are they supposed to give it to you so it kind of comes from both both ends
you need to feel safe enough with your partner to know that you can
say something to them and they're not going to take it
again offensively or as a complaint if you go in with the attitude
(11:38):
that i'm going to listen to what my partner says
and i'm going to allow them space and i'm going to allow them to be able to
just tell me what it is that they want so i
can serve them better and it goes both ways right
so it's not all about what the woman wants it's about what the man wants as
well and and what pleases them and we need to be able to feel safe
(12:05):
enough with our partners to be able to talk
openly and that comes with experience it comes with well if it's really
bad then you talk to somebody like me who can guide you through it but both
parties have to be open to listening as well as speaking
(12:28):
how they what it is that they want right thank you so much sandy for
that perspective i really encourage couples to have that open communication
and just you know come out to say what you want to say from your own heart
and definitely i really like the point you said that if you don't
tell someone what you need they cannot give it to you so it's very important to
(12:51):
understand that sandy i also want to ask you you know
there's a concept or there's a thing that goes into
people's mind that sex or intimacy it kind of goes away
it kind of decreases as you age as you stay together it comes
with the duration but as a holistic expert can you provide
(13:12):
some perspective or insights on that it takes work relationships take work and
the problem arises a lot when people get complacent
when they take each other for granted so making sure that you're doing those
little extra things for your partner both ways it's not all one-sided
(13:36):
the other challenge that comes up is as we age
we start and more so for women than men but
because our hormonal system is a lot more complicated than men's
and as we i'm post-menopausal so it's but it doesn't just because you're
ladies just because you're post-menopausal does not mean that you
(13:59):
cannot enjoy sex the cool thing is is that you don't have
any interruptions during the month and
you get to know your own body and first and this is another big issue for a lot
of women especially as we start to get as we age
as a lot of women have kids the weight starts to creep up
(14:26):
and that can have such a huge impact on how the guy doesn't care the woman
cares and the woman feels very self-conscious
and then she starts to lose her confidence
you just gotta understand that ladies men don't care near as much as we do
like they're just happy to you know have a play partner
(14:49):
to put it bluntly but the other thing is so we're going through these hormonal
changes our bodies are shifting they're a little different maybe you're not all
that enthralled with his body anymore it's so important in order like health
first and foremost health and longevity is what it's all
about it's eating healthy it's getting sleep it's
(15:12):
moving your body and by the way sex is great exercise
and it's so good for your health on so many levels
because it can help balance the hormones it's really important for men
for prostate health and that's why ladies
when the guy says that he's got to
(15:33):
be pleasured in one way or another he's not kidding it's
for his health so he's not just making it up
he's he it is a fact not to make any woman feel obligated
but they have to perform or they have to do something
i'm just saying he's not so hormonal changes for both men and
(15:59):
women stress is huge and usually with if a man is
having some challenges in the bedroom it's
usually his testosterone is too low so his diet is off
he's not working out weight training is the best thing for
to stop to boost testosterone zinc is also very important so taking a
(16:21):
moderate amount of zinc is important as well
um but being able to clear your mind for both men and women is so
important for a really good sexual experience
sometimes quickies are great other times longer sessions are
fantastic it really should be a mix and that way you can keep the spark
(16:42):
life just but because if you're doing the same old same old
all the time it gets boring as hell really fast so
keeping each other engaged is so important
and understanding that as we get older things do change
it's not inevitable it's not that oh well you know because i'm such an age or
(17:07):
because this is happening or whatever that automatically
interested in sex anymore not necessarily
you can do something about that
thank you so much for um that perspective and for the available advice
sandy i wanted to ask piggyback you actually in one of the
(17:27):
thoughts that you just mentioned it's that you say that whenever we have to
make the sex enjoyable and we have to you know enjoy and savor that moment
oftentimes there is that feeling that two people are together but they are not
enjoying things um also one reason might be that the guy
is getting nervous or the girl is not getting satisfied or not having fulfilled
(17:51):
the needs but there is this tension that goes on
between them sex would never be enjoyable at all
so what is your advice to the couples or the team
or the partners that are together how can they make their sex or intimacy
life more enjoyable
(18:13):
talk about it and that means opening up and being vulnerable and that is not
easy and it doesn't feel safe sometimes but if you're married if you're been
long-term with someone then
we need to develop a safety zone to be able to open up and express how we
(18:36):
feel express what we need without the fear of any kind of
retribution and people need to learn how to speak
to each other without it coming across sounding
like it's a criticism or that it's like well you're not doing it right
(18:56):
okay how do you do it right like provide information
because by just saying i'm not satisfied by not wanting to start
because you're not satisfied well if you're not satisfied
why what is it that your partner isn't doing or is doing
(19:20):
that's not satisfying you so i know i harp on this a lot and it's because
it's important you've got to talk and you know like sex is a very
intimate it's a very energy it's an exchange of energies
there's a spirituality to it that most people don't understand
(19:44):
and i know it sounds a little you know woo-woo and
everything but hey i'm i'm a crystal wearing card reading
intuitive aquarius so but being able to open up and really
talk to each other and if you don't know how to do that
then reach out to someone like me but it doesn't have to be me obviously
(20:08):
but just speak to someone in the business
who you feel safe with and
not a lot of men don't like that kind of third party
they're because they're guys they're supposed to know these things and it's
masculinity and the whole bit and it's like yeah but
(20:30):
do you want your ego stroke
or do you want to have a satisfactory sex life
and relationship we get so we're so distracted by so many things
going on in our lives and you know as you age you know if
you've had kids the kids are gone sometimes the parents are around now but
(20:52):
you're more likely to have alone time the problem is is that if you do not
maintain a strong intimate relationship from the
time that you get involved until you know the kids are out of
the house and all of a sudden you're sitting there and you're like
if you've put it on the back burner because the kids are around
(21:16):
then 20 say 20 years later you're kind of looking at this person
and you don't have any connection with them anymore
whether it's physical emotional mental spiritual doesn't matter
you're with a stranger and some of my clients have told me like my
male clients they will often say like she doesn't
(21:39):
even touch me anymore at all and i'm like no that's just like
why did that happen that's what i love to dig into is what's going on
in the relationship and how can we make it better
thank you so much for explaining that sandy it's a lot of food for thought
(22:01):
what is the actual problem and then you know experts like you are really really
helpful to communicate and work together and figure out those
issues i just wanted to say that health issues can cause a lot
and a lot of medications can interfere with libido
and with hormone balances that can be part
(22:23):
of what the challenge is if a couple is not like if the if the
one party and it's not always the woman sometimes it's the man
but if one party is not interested in sex anywhere and they may have a great
relationship outside of the bedroom but when it comes to that then you want
(22:44):
to look at health issues you want to look at whether there are
you on any medications and if you're not on meds
you have any kind of sometimes high blood pressure will
create problems statins taking statins is a
or diabetes medication some of the biggest killers a libido
(23:05):
out there like it's horrendous and there's natural ways of
combating that so that's just another aspect
of how health issues can really interfere with
with your sex life right thank you so much sandy for imparting
that wisdom piggybacking that i just want to ask you
(23:28):
you already mentioned that some of the things that can impact sex life like the
medication and the issues that you mentioned i know there are some
things that are not objective like lack of trust
or that romantic relationship that instill
meant of that trust and patience for one another
so i just there are so many things there are so many different key players when
(23:52):
safe and healthy sexual life goes on but to to you what are some of these
issues you know you feel that why there might be a lack of
trust or what are the other some of these issues that you think
that impacts sex lack of trust is huge
and a lot of women have major issues with men watching porn for
(24:17):
instance and if it's once in a while it's
i mean everyone's entitled to how they feel my question
to women is why do you feel
because why is that such a bad thing now if it's ours
and ours and they're not touching you that's an issue
(24:39):
that's a big issue and porn has been one of the
worst one of the biggest contributors to creating issues within relationships
they're not it's not real it's just it's
they're movies and there's outtakes and there's you know stopping and starting
in the whole bit but the problem is for the guys who are
(25:02):
watching it a lot they're getting number one it interferes
with dopamine because they're getting these dopamine hits
also becomes a dopamine addiction and that's where you know i mean even
video games can do the same thing so and yes women like
(25:23):
it is normal and it is completely understandable to
only want your partner to want you
but if they're watching it once in a while and preferably it's the two of you
watching it together because i mean ideally that would be
a great thing to do rather than only one
(25:45):
watching it so use it as a little inspiration
use it as something to help turn you on now men are very visual
women are much more emotional so that's part of the challenge as well but
lack of trust sometimes is if one party feels like the other party
(26:12):
is spending too much time talking to other people
online especially and they don't know exactly what's going on
it can create a lack of trust because it's like well why are you
talking to this person all the time why are you always having a
conversation with them understandably it can make them feel
(26:33):
like they're a second fiddle and your partner should always be the
number one person in your life i've said to yourself first you know
first you take care of you as far as other people your partner
should always come first they should always be the most important
person in your life but it's and it's doing things to
(26:55):
let your partner know that they are number one in
their life it's like when you get home you put the phone away you don't spend
all night on the phone or online like spend time with your
with your person not just watching tv but like
doing stuff together go for a walk have a nice dinner where you actually oh i
(27:16):
don't know talk
about anything about everything you know put some nice music on have a glass of
wine or glass of water it doesn't really matter
but put some sexy music on and just spontaneously cook together
dance around the house it can be a slow romantic dance where you hold each other
(27:39):
tight or it can just be something silly and fun
you know life is too serious and there's too much
crap going on in the world that it's like you can't learn what's fun together
for sure for sure thank you so much sandy i really appreciate it and i think my
audiences would also get like benefited that
(28:01):
maybe from those as well i just want to like ask you
oh we know like we're nearing our time but i just want to like ask you
really quickly you know like as a holistic sex expert and an intimacy
coach what do you actually do and how do you
actually support your clients and also like how can my
audience or any potential client who actually need this advice
(28:23):
or help from you how can they reach out to you
okay so i have a 12-week one-on-one personalized program it is specific to
your situation and i manage everything from if you're
lacking confidence if you're the big thing for women
especially is libido it's like you're just not feeling it
(28:48):
a lot of women will come and they need to figure out why they're not
you know it's like they feel bad it's like they used to like sex but now they
don't or if they get into it then they start to
but they want to figure out what the problem is
the other thing too is if they're having issues with their
(29:10):
partner they come to me and i can help them
learn to communicate better together and work on getting a really solid
intimate relationship together and because i'm a holistic it's
it's a diet it's exercise it's sleep it's nutrition it's
(29:33):
mindset it's so many different things
all wrapped up into one
and if you're just having a little and then so if that's a
kind of my 12-week course i also offer a an eight-week
email course if things are not bad but they're just getting a little stale
(29:55):
no big issue it's just you know you kind of want to spice things up a little bit
then i have a it's eight weeks it's an email a week and you get an assignment
and it's fun yeah they're fun and easy they're not big commit time
commitments but it's all geared towards spicing things up a little
(30:16):
bit and in order to contact me you can reach
me at sandy at letstalksexwithsandy.com
you can reach out to me on facebook all of my handles are
letstalksexwithsandy just to keep it easy i'm also on youtube
and all of my sunday night sex talk episodes are on there
(30:39):
thank you so much for the information sandy i just wanted to really quickly
let everyone know that if you go to our website your audience
www.activeaction.fm just find search sandy's name and you will
find her webpage in that webpage there will be her bio and all the social media
links that she's talking about so definitely you can get in touch with
(30:59):
her if you're looking to do that apart from that thank you so much
sandy i really appreciate coming on today's podcast and sharing some very
valuable advice regarding sex intimacy you know and
romantic relationship that my audience would definitely you know
i feel would find helpful dear audience thank you for listening
uh to the episode of the active action podcast so we were talking with sandy
(31:24):
and holistic sex and intimacy coach i hope you got to
learn some very important valuable information about
personal relationship sex and intimacy so if you are having any issues with
your personal intimate life or your sex life please don't hesitate to reach out
to sandy apart from that thank you so much
again for tuning in and i'm dr nazif if you like our video
(31:48):
if you find value to it don't forget to provide us a tip in
www.activeaction.fm
slash tip also i really encourage you to stay active and take action until the
next episode drops in so take care everybody
(32:11):
thank you for joining us on the active action podcast at active action dot fm
we hope today's episode gave you some entertainment fresh perspectives and a
little extra motivation to take action in your own life
don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode
and if you enjoyed the show share it with someone who might love it too
oh one more thing become our premium supporter and get access to expert
(32:33):
articles and strategy guides on personal and professional development
and enjoy lots of other exclusive features visit our website
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take care stay active and take action
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