June 19, 2025 • 45 mins
🎙New Episode: “Inside Actor Meltdowns” — S3 E 7
Welcome back to the ACTORS! YOU ARE ENOUGH!!! podcast — where we get real about the highs and lows of the acting industry.
In this unfiltered episode, Amy Lyndon (Celebrity Acting Master Coach) and Ofelia Habelt (Talent Agent at Johnson Talent Agency) dive into the emotional struggles actors face, depression, imposter syndrome and the pressure to book.
🔍Topics We Cover:• Stop comparing yourself to other actors• Why you should keep auditions private• Tackling imposter syndrome head-on• Your pain = your power• How “not booking” builds up over time• Why action beats anxiety…and so much more.
👇Got a topic or question? Drop it in the comments — maybe we can cover it next!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hey guys, welcome back to act asYou Were enough.
This is episode 7 I. Don't.
Think we're able to stop? Everybody keeps telling us.
Keep going. Keep going, everybody.
You know who knew? Who knew?
(00:23):
It's just too much fun. Why would we stop?
It's just too fun. Guys, do us a favor, if you're
on YouTube, please hit subscribe.
And if you were listening to it on a on a podcast platform,
follow us. Like, comment, share.
(00:43):
Ophelia and I just do this 'cause we're doing it.
It's not like you make any moneyat this.
Like 0 goosey 0 + 0 = 0. Oh yes, that's right.
OK, So what are we talking abouttoday, Ophelia?
We are talking about mental health and depression for
(01:08):
actors, how that hits, how that hits actors and what we can do
about it. I think this is a really
important topic for some obviousreasons, but I think, you know,
some things a lot of actors feelreally alone in and they think
they're the only ones and they don't realize that so many
(01:29):
people, so many actors are dealing with this.
But there's this illusion that like, you know, I don't know how
much I should talk about this 'cause I, I don't know how many
other people are really dealing with this.
But honestly, you know, the industry, particularly for
actors, but I think by and largethe industry, but particularly
for actors, it is really, it really is a culture of
(01:53):
rejection. I mean, we're, this is like the
culture that we've chosen to be in that you guys have chosen to
be in. And it's it's kind of a culture
of rejection. There's a lot of comparison
drops when you're an actor instability of career,
particularly since 2020, that alone, I mean, those two years
alone for many, many people and,and we all know this, you know,
(02:18):
it, it just, it just triggered alot of depression and mental
health issues and. Yeah, I want to talk about
triggers. Yes, yes.
And how you get triggered? Like how, what?
What's triggering? Yeah, let's talk about that.
One of the biggest thing that's triggering is when you have
friends that are working OK. And so that that's because I
(02:42):
hear that a lot. They're like, oh, my friends are
working. Like why aren't I working?
Well, you've got to first look at what ethnicity are they?
I mean, are they You're tight. So you can't you can't make a
judgement of what somebody's doing in their career.
You have to run your race lane. Henry Ford once said that the
(03:06):
reason why horses have they haveshutters on there because
otherwise they're going to look at the other horses when they're
running. So I want you guys to and
they're not going to win, you know, So I want you guys to put
the put the, what is it shield. That's what is it called.
The shutter shield, I don't knowhorse race and you see them, see
(03:29):
them on the side of their head. They have it on the side of
their head. So you guys need to run the fast
race so you can run in your own lane doing your own thing and
put this on whatever it's calledand you know what it's called
Write it in the comments. OK, is I just delivered message.
I don't know some stuff you know, but that's deep put it.
(03:51):
I never thought about that. That's so that's such a good
point. You know, you, you really have
to do that. And, and that could as a, for a
person that could actually look very much like severely limiting
your social media. There's such a, there's such a,
a duality going on because as anactor, it's, it's good that
(04:11):
you're on you kind of, it's a good idea.
It's a good business tool to use.
But but it's not it's, it's not correct to look at other people
at their career. They could be in a different age
category. They could be the different
height. I mean, guys.
You. The more that you compare
(04:33):
yourself to somebody else, it causes depression and it makes
you feel less than you are. And it's and.
And most of the times it's just not true.
Yeah, like like 99.9 probably. I just made that statistic up,
but I thought. You think about it.
Unless. Unless they're exactly your
type. Yes, exactly.
(04:54):
Yeah. And the community, there's
different trends in the industry.
There's different trends with, you know, different movies that
are, you know, there's differentage groups trend, different
ethnicities trend different, youknow, hair colors trend.
Like I see, like I see my type in the movies mostly.
(05:15):
I I used to see my type on television all the time.
When I was working on television, I saw my type all
the time. But now, I mean, they're doing
like, like remember when the Cairns were in like now I saw
myself like a wig and and and and it was like like short in
the back and Bob and bobbed in the front.
(05:37):
Yeah, I mean, that's understandable.
But you know, I I might sound like a Karen or have like the
balls like a Karen, but I don't look like a Karen.
Right, so. You Karen's out there, you're
not taking my job because I don't look like a Karen.
Yeah, 100%. That is such a good point, Such
(05:59):
a good point. Absolutely.
Yeah. I mean just.
Because you can act the job doesn't mean you're, you look
like the job. So, so you guys like, let's be
specific about what you're getting triggered by.
Yeah. Another thing that triggers
people is when you have family members or a lot of times it's
(06:19):
family members or friends say, oh, so, so have you got any
auditions lately? So what have you?
What have you been in lately? Yes.
And you're like, oh. And never, never, never
understand what your business isabout.
You know, my father, God bless his soul, he used to say, I
(06:40):
don't understand. You're doing the movie.
I'm paying you. I'm like, yeah, you don't
understand. I'm doing it because I'm
getting, I'm getting tape from it.
Right. Wait a minute.
You're getting dressed up. You're going down there, you're
working for somebody and they give you no money.
(07:01):
That there it is. That's.
Driving it in, he's driving it in not realizing, not knowing
he's doing that, but you're likeas.
Much as I would spend time trying to explain it to him,
he's never going to understand. So you guys stop telling people
who don't understand that you have auditions.
(07:21):
Yeah, and this stops. Telling my mother because my
mother would go. So how did it go?
I'd be like God, mom. It's not all it works.
I just did it. OK, Well, do you think you got
the part, Mom? I don't know.
It's like the. Questions.
Those are the questions. Unanimously.
(07:43):
Unanimously. Well, you did a good job, right?
Yes, Mom, I did a great job. I don't know.
Well, how long is it going to take?
Trust me, that was the last timeI tell her.
I don't tell her anymore becauseof all the questions she's asked
me Questions. She loves me.
(08:05):
Exactly. She's a huge support person in
your life. They don't know what they're
doing. They don't know what they're
asking. But every time she asked, it's
like, I'm like, Mom, you'll be the second person to know.
I'll be the first. Yeah, 100%.
That's just so true. So true.
You can, oh, you could have beenin something really cool and
then you get triggered because you, you know, you're like, Oh
(08:29):
my gosh, am I like, I just, I just booked this imposter
syndrome. Imposter syndrome is a big, big
trigger. You walk into set and you're
like, I I bet they're going to think they made a mistake.
And that just sends you spiraling down.
And then you do the job and you've the whole time you're
like, this is probably the last job I'll ever do.
(08:49):
No one's ever going to hire me again.
You get in this weird actors getin this weird spiral.
Let's talk about imposter syndrome for a second.
I mean, let's just look at the facts, OK?
The facts are how many submissions are for, let's say
the person that has some imposter syndrome.
How many submissions do you think casting director received
(09:12):
for that job? Oh, hundreds.
Give me a number like 1000. Oh, I mean it depends on the
project, but I would what I'm hearing is now that we've gone
to self tape, I mean they can get like AI had AI heard a
casting director say within the like you, you put a project out,
put a project out and within an hour he has like 2000
(09:36):
submissions or less less. Than say let's say 2000.
OK, it's part of my point that I'm proving.
Yeah. So out of the 2000 people, they
picked you to audition now. OK, so they picked you to
audition. So they're probably only calling
in maybe 40. OK, so they have 40 people
(10:00):
auditioning and then you beat 40people.
Sorry, 39. Yeah, yeah.
I will say. Something about you?
Right. And it's also like, like
respecting what their jobs are respecting, you know, the
director, if you do book something and the director and
(10:23):
producer, they've chosen you, they've you could probably gone
through, you know, if, if it's theatrical, you've gone through
a handful of callbacks. And so it's like, it's like
respecting and trusting their choices, like.
Yeah, so that you calling them wrong like like there's
something wrong with them then? Exactly.
(10:43):
Think about what you're think about what you're saying to
yourself. Like what is when you're feeling
like, oh, they made a mistake, What are you really saying?
That's why I wanted to do this logic exercise.
Logically, the the road that you're going down doesn't make
(11:04):
sense. Right.
Yeah. So just stop.
Just stop the, you know, get offthe horse, Yeah.
Or, you know, or maybe you need to go into therapy for a while.
Yes, that is work. On that is too.
I think that's a really good solution.
Therapy is not a bad word. I mean, I've been in and out of
(11:26):
therapy since I'm 14 years old and you see how adjusted I am.
How far you've come. Seriously, I've been in and I
started, I remember the first time I went into therapy, I was
getting panic attacks in college.
I don't know what was going on. Scared the you know what out of
me. I don't know what they were that
then and thought I was dying. Like I kept thinking I'm I'm
(11:48):
dying and found out it was anxiety attacks.
And, you know, there's a lot of reasons that can come up, but
therapy is so helpful, you know,and PS side note, I have a list
of therapists that work specifically with people in in
the entertainment industry. So this and you need a referral.
(12:11):
You can, yeah, I will send it toyou.
You can. And you guys, hypnotherapy is
really great. I remember when I first came out
of here, I had, I had a big issue of not having a voice.
Now I just won't shut up. So she did this as this
hypnotherapy exercise of taking a rope off my neck and it
(12:34):
changed everything. Oh, that's amazing.
I that's crazy. I was like. 21 years old.
Wow, that is really fascinating.Yeah, therapy is.
It can be a really powerful tool.
Seriously. Support groups.
Same thing. Support.
(12:54):
Groups gestalt therapy is great.My my aunt used to be a gestalt
therapist. I I went and she she was from
Woodstock, NY. I mean, she was like a massive
hippie. Yes.
Full blown hippie. Her boyfriend built their house
in the woods, OK. She was a dancer, amazing.
(13:16):
She was a dancer. She at Juilliard.
She's she graduated from Juilliard and her teacher was
Martha Graham. Oh my gosh, that is wild stuff.
Yeah, she was a modern, modern dancer.
But I mean, Martha Graham created modern dance.
(13:37):
But she ended up in Woodstock and I went to visit her and she
showed me her office and she hada tennis racket on the bed.
I'm like, what the heck is that?And she says, oh, well, I have
my people. They pick up the racket and they
just hit the pillow and they go.So who are you feeling bad about
today? My mother, my mother, my mother,
(13:58):
my mother. And And so they get it out using
the tennis racket, hitting a pillow.
I, I mean, I can, I can see that.
I can see that being having somekind of effectiveness, yeah.
It was effectiveness, you know? And get it out.
She went to a lot of tennis rackets.
What's that? She said she went through a lot
(14:20):
of tennis rackets. She must have yeah, there's just
a lot of stuff that we are carrying that we are, you know,
there like we've talked about this so many times.
This is why you started doing the actors you are enough thing
because actors come into the industry real pretty broken.
You guys, You you've you're, if you don't already know this
(14:41):
about yourself, you're probably some brokenness there.
And it's just it's in there and it has to be processed.
It has to. You also need to know that your
brokenness is what what where you're telling us.
Yes, it's. Just you have to just get it up.
Magic of it, right? Yeah, the more broken you are,
the more interesting you're going to be to watch.
(15:02):
It's just that how do you, how do you not take things
personally when it's coming at you, you know?
Yep. And then when it's being under.
Control. Exactly.
And then and then like what whenit's not managed and, and you
you're not able to direct it andit turns into something like
depression. You know how let's talk about, I
(15:24):
want to talk about like, how does, how does depression
manifest itself uniquely to actors?
Like what? What are some things you ways
that you've seen? I mean, some things are standard
across the board for anyone, butI'll tell.
You this is, this is really bad.The more auditions you get, the
more you spiral out. So you're actually bringing the
(15:49):
previous audition into your nextaudition.
And so by the time you get to like audition #10 and you still
haven't booked anything, you're,you're not even the same actor
anymore. Wow.
Whoa, that's so, so crazy. Yeah, which is why you have to
realize that every audition has its own uniqueness and it
(16:12):
doesn't belong with the next one.
Yeah, and. That if you have a team of
people that are or you feel thatthey're going to drop you, that
shouldn't even be going into your audition either.
Because what happens is that youchip away and chip away and chip
away. And by the time you get to like
the 10th audition, you're like ashell of of a person.
(16:35):
Wow. That's when you could really
feel depressed and anxiety. You're not doing it for you
anymore. Right, right.
There's generalized anxiety and then there's situational anxiety
and a lot of people, you know, they, some people have the
generalized that some people really struggle with anxiety
because they get intense anxietywith auditions.
(16:56):
And then if they're, if it's if it's that process you're talking
about, it just keeps growing with with each audition, right
anxiety. So I mean, what used to happen
when I was at the theater, agents used to send the people
over to for me to fix them, right?
That was not my favorite studentbecause they would come all
desperate and needy. You know, they're like, all my
(17:16):
agent's going to draw on me. I've had 15 auditions or 20
auditions or 30 auditions. I'll be like, and you're coming
to me now. You know, that wasn't my
favorite time because you can't.You can't book when you're
feeling needy. Yes.
So, so much of each audition needs to be kept with each
(17:41):
audition. And if you're feeling like like
they're going to drop you, then you're not with the right Rep.
Wow. Where are your reps?
Where your reps said drop because you're not doing
anything about it. Right.
That's really an amazing, amazing point for sure, for
(18:03):
sure. Yeah, I think, I think, you
know, some of the things to likelook out for like some people I
think like they know they're like awful somehow, but they
don't really want to address it in themselves.
And so these, you know, one of the the things objectively that
you can look at, you know, to identify, Oh my gosh, am I
(18:23):
struggling with depression? But I haven't realized because I
keep masking. It is like high risk behavior.
You know, a lot of actors find themselves go entering into high
risk behavior, excessive drinking, you know, drug abuse,
drug abuse. Like late night, some over
indulgence of sexual activity that's literally that has a
(18:47):
place. I'm not saying that.
I mean saying don't mask it withit.
Yeah, yeah, you. You, it's like you, you want to
just, if you're getting like offthe little off the rails and
that and that you might be in a community that that's really
just normal. But you have to recognize that
just because something's normal doesn't mean it's healthy and
(19:09):
doesn't mean it's going to help you.
And, and you don't want to trainwreck.
You know you don't want to before you've even fulfilled
your destiny as an actor. You don't want to train wreck.
Yeah, and it and it becomes cumulative too, because I had a
very long stretch of period of my life where I was doing that
long stretch, but I was working a lot too.
(19:32):
But the work started tapering off because I wasn't showing up
because I was hungover. Yeah, yeah, I.
Wasn't on my game. You know, you got us just, I
mean, you got to again, just just be the ball, guys.
Be the ball. Do some meditation.
Yeah, yes, mindfulness. Yeah, there's a great app called
(19:54):
Insight Timer got like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and
hundreds of meditations on there.
Yeah, there's people from all over the world teaching or I do
guided meditations, but like hundreds of people like.
(20:17):
And, and I didn't, I didn't buy,but you could purchase for a pro
account where you could courses.They literally have stress
management courses. They have depression caught of
course anxiety caught courses, panic attack courses.
They're very. Sleep.
Sleep if you're actually I had. That long, long ago, yeah, the
(20:40):
and the yeah, those are those can be so helpful.
Abide. You're reminding me Abide is
another app, meditation app. It's called Abide A/B IDE.
It's that one is a faith-based one.
It, it's also important to know that if you don't have a faith
developing that research has shown that that is a huge, that
(21:03):
is a very effective way to, you know, deal with depression,
anxiety, mental health issues. It's the 12 step program that's
a fundamental part of it. You know, recognizing your
higher power, developing your faith and prayer life is huge in
dealing with depression, anxiety, mental health.
Yeah, I think 'cause so much of it is 'cause you're around like
(21:24):
minded people and and you're creating community and you don't
feel like you're alone. That's that's definitely, that's
definitely a huge part of it forsure, yeah.
Yeah, when you go to church, what I'm saying is like when you
go to church or temple or wherever you want to go, you're
with a group of people that thatare all are all about getting to
(21:49):
a higher level. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
And you know, when there's recognition that there's
something power higher than ourselves, then we're not.
We don't have to do things in our own strength.
You know that that is can be really overwhelming.
Sometimes a trigger is just being overwhelmed by life and
then cycle right grounding. To go to one of those places you
(22:13):
know. Yeah, you have another source of
strength and ability, ability toget through things and 'cause
then, then otherwise it's like acycle.
Like you, you know, you feel overwhelmed and then that caught
that, you know, contributed to depression.
When you're depressed, everything makes you feel more
overwhelmed. Same with anxiety.
So if you have like a, you know,the this power outside of
(22:36):
yourself to get through and to walk through, that changes
everything. Yeah, it's a big deal.
I I cry wherever I'm in. And I don't know if you noticed
when you took me to that church one time, I was sobbing.
Did you notice? I I saw you.
I was kind of enveloped in the song and cut, you know, I was
(22:58):
like, I remember, like I looked over in point and and I'm like,
oh, she's emotional. Wow, that something must be
hitting her. Something's hitting her.
You know, whenever I even when Ieven when I went to temple, a
friend of mine's husband passed away and they thought I was the
one who lost the husband. That's how hard I was crying.
Oh my good. Nobody even went like this to
(23:18):
me, you know, like stop, they like elbowed, like stop it.
I just was just feeling the power of Spirit, you know, so
hard. You know, it's just something
about it. And it doesn't matter where I am
and what place of worship. I know that God's there.
(23:40):
So, but God's everywhere, guys. God is everywhere.
So it doesn't matter where because wherever you are, there
it is. So I want to I want to talk
about making lists. Yeah.
Making lists and approaching things and the reason why I'm
saying that what, what, what? Is I'm intrigued.
(24:02):
Let's hear about this. I have, I have three types of
lists. I have the daily list, weekly
list, actually four types, the monthly list, and then my bucket
list, you know, and so when you write something on a list and
you check it off, it makes you feel good.
It makes you feel like you're accomplishing something.
A lot of times depression comes from that.
(24:24):
You're not move in movement. Yes.
Yeah, and, and action always relieves anxiety.
Always. And you can just make yourself,
even if you wrote that you're doing laundry today, that you do
all the loads, fold it, put it away.
(24:45):
There's something about the completion of it that makes you
feel good. It does, it changes your brain
chemistry and and that's the thing you have to like, if
you're laying in bed and you're like, I, I just, I feel so too
depressed to get out of bed. You have to kind of like get to
a point where like I don't, I don't, you can't even think of
(25:05):
what you want to do or what you should do.
Like you just nothing seems likeI want to do this.
If you just start moving like Mel Robbins, she has the five
minute, the 5 second rule or that book that it came.
She was in a severe depression and she couldn't get out of bed.
She tried setting her alarm and she would just push snooze.
(25:26):
She tried all these different things and then finally it she
it something came to her. I think it was divine
inspiration, but she just said she just picture like this
rocket and in five seconds it's going to take off and she's
going to pop out of bed. So she just went, she just
started one morning. She's like OK 5 4.
(25:47):
And it's great. 21 and she just about like a rocket and then she
just started she's like, I'm just going to she just started,
you know, I'm going to walk downto my kitchen like the most
simple thing, I'm going to get coffee.
She just did it and she's like, Oh my gosh, I just got that done
and it started changing her brain chemistry.
And I mean literally. Yeah, I'm telling you, let me
(26:09):
show you my book, OK? OK, now you might think this is
a little chaotic, but look at that.
Hey, can you see it? Oh, what is happening there?
Is that your list? Oh, it's back marks daily.
These are daily. Things that I got done.
Oh you should. You should take a picture of
(26:31):
that and post it. It's like Frog and Toad.
Do you remember Frog and Toad and and his frog's list?
Frogger, one of them, they made a list and it was like tie my
shoe. It's like literally you can put
anything on. There.
Oh, oh, yeah. I have little things like that
on here too. I have bigger things.
I have little things, yeah. Absolutely.
(26:54):
I have laundry on there. Yeah, right, right.
Eat breakfast. You know, you need to empty your
mind. And this, that's what these
lists do for me. I mean, even, like, by wrapping
paper, you know, or if I ran outof detergent.
By detergent. Yeah.
Like, you don't want anything inyour brain.
(27:16):
You want your brain cleared. Yeah.
So if it takes like sometimes I'm like, I'm an idiot.
I'll, I'll write a text to myself, OK.
And then within 3 seconds I'll get a text and I'll be like, oh,
forget, you know where I'm goingwith this.
I'll be like. You know, with emails.
I got a text. So I saw that e-mail, copied
(27:36):
myself on it Ding and I oh, and I go to to open it.
I'm like, Oh my gosh, you literally know.
I said I know that. I sent that to myself and I so.
It's every dumb. I'm like, oh, I got attacked and
my God damn it, it's my. I just learned I just learned
how to this is true confessions.It's so embarrassing, but I just
(28:00):
like 2 weeks ago learned that you could mark a text as unread
did not know that you could do that that that was something you
could do now. And I was lamenting to a friend,
why don't this day and age they have a way to do that.
She's like, but they do. I'm like, this is good to know.
And so as we started, I started doing that.
I started marking it save to read and, you know, save for
(28:23):
later. And then I look, you know, I put
my phone down, look at it like literally 10 seconds later.
Oh, I have a text, just saved itfor myself.
Yeah. So anyways but.
Yeah, why the why? Mark it on read.
Because I can't, if I can't get back to them right when I read
it, which often I can't. And then I it's like that way I
(28:43):
can read. It's like emails like Mark.
That's interesting. Yeah, am I thinking you
something new too? No, that's interesting because
people, we're talking about the psychology of a person who sends
a text and somebody doesn't textback.
That's a trigger. That's actually another trigger
for people They say feel they think they're being ghosted.
(29:04):
They feel rejected. Well then I should send back.
Somebody sent me a good morning text and I never wrote back.
It would be like good evening bythe time I get back to them.
You know what, they might feel rejected.
You should probably say something.
On the other hand, we also can'tbe making decisions just on
like, oh, how is, you know, is somebody going to be?
(29:27):
Yeah, like, that's another trap,too.
It's another mental health trap.Yeah, but but I you also don't
want to be like stuck feeling responsible all the time.
Exactly. It's really, you know, so that's
why sometimes I just don't answer.
If you can't answer, you don't answer.
(29:49):
It's not because I don't want to, it's because I have so many
other things to do. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, personal. And, you know, someone was
talking to me about this the other day that like someone
they've been trying to get together with, with a friend of
theirs and they, they keep, you know, I'm so busy and they, she
(30:14):
knows they're busy. They're in school and they're
doing working and this and that and this, that.
But then she'll like get social media, she'll look at, you know,
Instagram and like, wait, they're hanging out with these
other people. I thought they were too busy
and, you know, and then you start going into this death
spiral. Yeah, it.
Could have been from last week. It it didn't necessarily it.
(30:38):
Could have been from it wasn't necessarily that day, but then
also another thing that she was sharing that she had learned in
therapy or or read it or something is proximity.
So these friends, they went to the same school.
This person didn't go to the same school as them.
They'd lived in not super close to each other, but close enough
(30:59):
to get together. But not it's not the same as
like, you know, if you're like your neighbors on your street,
if you maybe you're too busy to make this all these arrangements
to, you know, see someone over there in that town, but you it's
easier to get a pizza. With somebody next?
Yeah, yeah. So proximity is huge.
So we we people need should be always keeping that in mind
(31:21):
like. Yeah, that's interesting.
Well, live. Close to them.
Do they, you know, do they go tothe same church and they just
decided to go get lunch after church and, you know, yeah.
So I think everybody is like, they take everything personally,
but you can't help it because we're all, I think all of us are
very sensitive right now. I mean, not not that you should
(31:43):
go around having a hard skin, but there's always a reason.
Yeah. Don't, don't be jumping on
somebody, right? Jumping on them, hey.
Shoot, no, I think that I think that that that is super
important. But then also like, maybe
there's going to be this occasional person that they
(32:05):
really are kind of douchey and like treat you bad.
And so at that point, it's like,you know what, I there's a there
is, there's still a reason. The reason is like, I don't like
that I'm, you know, I'm being protected from this person.
Like God, maybe I don't like. I'm glad to see this about Let's
talk. About let's segue into the
(32:26):
people that you surround yourself with.
That's. So good, let's do that are.
You are you guys sitting around a coffee shop talking about
awful things that are happening.Wouldn't it be better to sit
around a coffee shop and talk about a project you could do
together and, and maybe write something together or do a skit
(32:47):
together? Because a lot of these TikTok
skits or these skits on on YouTube are really short.
They're not very long and you guys can just get together and
just have fun together. Yes.
You don't sit around bitching and complaining with people.
Yes, bitching and complaining toyou.
(33:09):
If it's a great friend, that's understandable, you want to be
there for them. But if it's constant.
Right. You might need to re evaluate
the friendship. 100% if there's negative, if you find yourself
like mostly speaking negatively about things or people.
And it's not about being in denial.
I mean, there's some crazy stuff, painful, sad stuff going
(33:30):
on in LA right now. So it's, it's important to
acknowledge that and, and express like, Oh, I'm, you know,
I'm this is making me feel this way, this way.
But if you're just like speakingnegatively and cursing this
person and that person, no matter who it's you're cursing
what, what, how you feel about wherever you're coming from.
If you're just, you know, it's just negative, like that's good
(33:53):
that that also changes your brain chemistry and it's kind
of. It perpetuates itself.
It's it'll, it'll roll out and keep rolling out and it won't
stop exactly. You know when they say stop the
madness, that's exactly what they need.
Just stop the madness A. 100% it's not.
That's different than talking about this is making me feel
(34:15):
this way. Just like anger is just spewing
out all the time. Like that's not going to help
you. It's not good for you.
It's not good for your your biochemistry.
And yeah, I'm being raged enraged online too.
I've unfriended probably 25 people on Facebook within the
last month and a half because I don't want to read their rage.
(34:38):
Yes, you didn't want that energy.
No, I want to be peaceful. Yeah.
I want to write another list. Right.
Take another thing off, right? I want to hang out with people
that that bring me joy and make me feel like I'm 14 again.
Oh, I love that. I like that.
(35:00):
It's like a standard, a measurement.
That's my new measurement. Do I feel like I'm 14 when I'm
with this club? Yes to them.
Yeah, I mean, if you remember when you were 14, right, like.
Are some of the best memory. I mean even in the midst of
being such a turbulent like crazy, you know anxiety
(35:21):
provoking. There's also like I laughed
harder. I think I peed literally like
literally peed my pants more that year than like life I went
through it's. Really true, though it's.
Just peed my pants like laughingso hard.
You know, and I used to my when my parents used to punishment
send me to my room, I was thrilled because I got to create
(35:44):
dances. You know what I mean?
I would. I would paint, I would listen to
music, I would my. God.
And then I would have friends over and we would do dances
together and. Yes, totally.
I remember listening to Loverboymaking up dances.
But yes, with my my other friendwould come over and we'd like
(36:06):
listen to the radio and like when the police would come on
record, push record like that, you know, making our mixtapes.
And I mean, it's like the best, like the like, you wanna feel
that way? Yeah.
Get each other in paint, guys. Maybe, maybe, maybe make like a
dream board, you know? Yes.
Oh, that's so good. Nobody would be judging you on
(36:30):
it because it's your creativity and, you know, collecting like,
like magazines. So you could pull things out and
yeah, and start collecting like little things that you could
maybe put on it. That's I love that.
Yeah. Dream boards.
Dream boards. We should do a.
(36:50):
Bunch of things we should get together and make a dream board
we. Should we?
Should I? Gosh, but I've done a few of
those. It's been a long time, but I
remember like, you know, a year to to five years later, I pull
it out once and I'm like, Oh my gosh, that actually happened.
Like it was just the cool. That's so.
Cool. Yeah, super, super fun.
Super fun. Yeah, yeah, I have.
(37:14):
I have an old dream board and I have a a brand new one.
Yeah, I mean the but the other one had an Academy Award on it.
So that's still, that's still inthe works.
That's still in the works. It has.
But it's on it. No, it's not.
It. And on keep it on with all the
(37:34):
stuff. OK, So what else do I have on my
list? I take your list.
And actually I I covered everything that was on my list.
What do you have on your list? We, I, we kind of did cover it.
We kind of went, we kind of do it.
I wonder like, would you be goodto hear like questions for
people like what has been reallyhelpful when you've gone through
(37:58):
depression or anxiety? What has been?
What are things that have been the most helpful for you?
I do have an acting exercise that they can do that we could
leave them with. Oh yeah.
OK, so the acting exercise, since you were walking, talking,
emotional vehicle for the writer, then why not the next
time that you feel something andyou're triggered by something,
(38:21):
then write down what the triggeris.
All of you should have an emotional journal because you
are an emotional being. So why don't you use this time
that you're feeling emotional toyour benefit because you're
going to need to be able to get to every single emotion in your
(38:42):
body. So start writing it down or pick
an emotion a week. That's so good.
Thank you. Let's say you pick I, I like
paranoia or fear, you know, and then and then I want you guys to
do the, the Rite Aid, CVS bonds,whatever store you want to go
(39:06):
into exercise. And this is how the exercise
works. OK, you're going to start in
your car and you've got to buildit up.
Like you're about to break down and cry, but you're going to
hold it. Then you're going to go into
like CVS and buy like 3 things. And you're going to go up to the
counter, have a conversation with the cashier, buy it, go to
your car, close the door and break down.
(39:30):
And if you can't do that, then you're not at the top of your
juicy emotional vehicle. Oh my gosh, that's so good.
Yeah, I called it the Rite Aid exercise, but I should change it
to CVS because I don't even knowif Rite Aid's even out anymore.
But it's a really good exercise to do because you should have a
(39:51):
discipline in in your crying vehicle because you never know
when they're going to pick you to to go and and shoot because
they're always going to shoot the series regulars and the
other people that are ahead of you.
And that means that you're goingto need to hold onto it for a
long period of time. Oh, my gosh, That's so, so good.
(40:13):
Yeah. And that is very, very true.
One of my actors was in this last fall, was in.
He's in the opening scene of a amajor horror franchise that's
coming out this fall. Yeah.
And he has to. He had to, it was an extremely
(40:34):
emotional scene. I won't go into the details
about it, but it was very emotional.
And he said it was he, he took like a few days to recover
because even though it's a very short scene, it's very intense.
But he, there was like, you know, the day that they did it,
it was they, they did it, you know, for a large part of the
(40:55):
day. And he, you know, he'd get to
that part and then they'd have to stop because of the, oh,
wait, the sound's not quite right.
Oh, wait, the lighting's not quite right.
And it'd be like, OK, wait, no, you're at the wrong angle.
And so you'd have to stop, do all this technical stuff, and
then boom back into like this super gnarly, intense crying
scene. Yes.
That is a real, real thing. That is, that is a skill that
(41:17):
has got to be developed if you're if you have goals to go
far and what. Yeah, you have to be able to to
pull it out. You know, I mean, I remember I
had booked, what was it, NYPD Blue back in the day?
Yes, Yeah, I remember that show.He was with Dennis Franz.
(41:39):
He was. He smelled so good.
But anyway I segue. Smell.
He, Oh my God, he. I was like, what are you
wearing? Right.
Anyway, so the scene was very heavy, but I'm thinking we're
just about to shoot it and then they call lunch.
Oh. My gosh, you're all geared up.
(42:02):
You got to start back over because they have to redo your
makeup. There's lunch for an hour and an
hour to redo your makeup and air.
So that's two hours you got to start back up again.
Oh. My God.
One really great scene, my neighbor was dead and I talked
about my neighbor. It was a great scene, but I was
(42:22):
crying. I was supposed to cry through
the scene. My goodness.
I know they break a lot. Wow, did you find that like
doing exercises like that beforeyou even audition for this?
Like it was your you had gotten yourself ready to be able to do
something like that. Well.
Just generally speaking, you have to be a juicy vehicle.
(42:44):
So that's why, you know, there'ssome people that that are in
shape. Yeah.
Some people aren't, so that's why I'm saying while you're
already in an emotional state, use it to your benefit.
Yeah, so good, so good. Love that.
Use it. OK guys, listen again.
(43:07):
If you really love what we're doing, congratulate us by
following us, commenting, sharing, subscribing.
Do something. And also, I just found out about
this today. You don't even know about this
yet, but the end of August, Clark Sowers, who is the CEO of
(43:33):
Expert Effect that we just had on our podcast, just a couple
episodes, episode 4, he is goingto be running and I'm I'm
helping him coordinate a a mastermind, a mental health
mastermind. Wow.
Going to be somewhere we don't have the dates will be coming
(43:55):
out with all the information thedate in place soon.
But if you have any interest in this at all, it's a mastermind.
Meaning this is really the cool super cool part about it.
One of the cool parts about it is that there's there's no
specific pre decided topic that everyone's coming together and
everyone is going to begin to share what it is that they're
(44:18):
dealing with and most want help with.
And so as it becomes discussed, it's going to be kept to 15
people. So it's going to fill up super
fast. So if you're interested, go
ahead and put your, you know, right in the comments or message
us directly that you can messageme directly that you're
interested in the mastermind expert effect mastermind.
(44:39):
Just put them the notes Expert Effect Mastermind or not Notes
in comments. Really cool.
And you guys want to know Clark is just go back a couple of
episodes and you'll yeah, it literally is 2 episodes back and
it was, it was called stress management.
In the field and in a long time and.
(45:00):
Stress resiliency. Stress resilience.
Exactly. And this is specifically for
actors, and it's going to be awesome.
So is it going to be on in person?
It's gonna be in person. Yep.
LA in LA, probably. We're looking at a place in
(45:21):
Studio City. It's indoors.
Right near me. Very close to you and so, but we
will have more of the details about that coming.
That's exciting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Love you guys. We're great rest of your day or
night, whenever you're watching this, remember that you are
(45:42):
enough. You are.
Enough. Enough bye guys.
Hey guys, welcome back to act asYou Were enough.
This is episode 7 I. Don't.
Think we're able to stop? Everybody keeps telling us.
Keep going. Keep going, everybody.
You know who knew? Who knew?
(00:23):
It's just too much fun. Why would we stop?
It's just too fun. Guys, do us a favor, if you're
on YouTube, please hit subscribe.
And if you were listening to it on a on a podcast platform,
follow us. Like, comment, share.
(00:43):
Ophelia and I just do this 'cause we're doing it.
It's not like you make any moneyat this.
Like 0 goosey 0 + 0 = 0. Oh yes, that's right.
OK, So what are we talking abouttoday, Ophelia?
We are talking about mental health and depression for
(01:08):
actors, how that hits, how that hits actors and what we can do
about it. I think this is a really
important topic for some obviousreasons, but I think, you know,
some things a lot of actors feelreally alone in and they think
they're the only ones and they don't realize that so many
(01:29):
people, so many actors are dealing with this.
But there's this illusion that like, you know, I don't know how
much I should talk about this 'cause I, I don't know how many
other people are really dealing with this.
But honestly, you know, the industry, particularly for
actors, but I think by and largethe industry, but particularly
for actors, it is really, it really is a culture of
(01:53):
rejection. I mean, we're, this is like the
culture that we've chosen to be in that you guys have chosen to
be in. And it's it's kind of a culture
of rejection. There's a lot of comparison
drops when you're an actor instability of career,
particularly since 2020, that alone, I mean, those two years
alone for many, many people and,and we all know this, you know,
(02:18):
it, it just, it just triggered alot of depression and mental
health issues and. Yeah, I want to talk about
triggers. Yes, yes.
And how you get triggered? Like how, what?
What's triggering? Yeah, let's talk about that.
One of the biggest thing that's triggering is when you have
friends that are working OK. And so that that's because I
(02:42):
hear that a lot. They're like, oh, my friends are
working. Like why aren't I working?
Well, you've got to first look at what ethnicity are they?
I mean, are they You're tight. So you can't you can't make a
judgement of what somebody's doing in their career.
You have to run your race lane. Henry Ford once said that the
(03:06):
reason why horses have they haveshutters on there because
otherwise they're going to look at the other horses when they're
running. So I want you guys to and
they're not going to win, you know, So I want you guys to put
the put the, what is it shield. That's what is it called.
The shutter shield, I don't knowhorse race and you see them, see
(03:29):
them on the side of their head. They have it on the side of
their head. So you guys need to run the fast
race so you can run in your own lane doing your own thing and
put this on whatever it's calledand you know what it's called
Write it in the comments. OK, is I just delivered message.
I don't know some stuff you know, but that's deep put it.
(03:51):
I never thought about that. That's so that's such a good
point. You know, you, you really have
to do that. And, and that could as a, for a
person that could actually look very much like severely limiting
your social media. There's such a, there's such a,
a duality going on because as anactor, it's, it's good that
(04:11):
you're on you kind of, it's a good idea.
It's a good business tool to use.
But but it's not it's, it's not correct to look at other people
at their career. They could be in a different age
category. They could be the different
height. I mean, guys.
You. The more that you compare
(04:33):
yourself to somebody else, it causes depression and it makes
you feel less than you are. And it's and.
And most of the times it's just not true.
Yeah, like like 99.9 probably. I just made that statistic up,
but I thought. You think about it.
Unless. Unless they're exactly your
type. Yes, exactly.
(04:54):
Yeah. And the community, there's
different trends in the industry.
There's different trends with, you know, different movies that
are, you know, there's differentage groups trend, different
ethnicities trend different, youknow, hair colors trend.
Like I see, like I see my type in the movies mostly.
(05:15):
I I used to see my type on television all the time.
When I was working on television, I saw my type all
the time. But now, I mean, they're doing
like, like remember when the Cairns were in like now I saw
myself like a wig and and and and it was like like short in
the back and Bob and bobbed in the front.
(05:37):
Yeah, I mean, that's understandable.
But you know, I I might sound like a Karen or have like the
balls like a Karen, but I don't look like a Karen.
Right, so. You Karen's out there, you're
not taking my job because I don't look like a Karen.
Yeah, 100%. That is such a good point, Such
(05:59):
a good point. Absolutely.
Yeah. I mean just.
Because you can act the job doesn't mean you're, you look
like the job. So, so you guys like, let's be
specific about what you're getting triggered by.
Yeah. Another thing that triggers
people is when you have family members or a lot of times it's
(06:19):
family members or friends say, oh, so, so have you got any
auditions lately? So what have you?
What have you been in lately? Yes.
And you're like, oh. And never, never, never
understand what your business isabout.
You know, my father, God bless his soul, he used to say, I
(06:40):
don't understand. You're doing the movie.
I'm paying you. I'm like, yeah, you don't
understand. I'm doing it because I'm
getting, I'm getting tape from it.
Right. Wait a minute.
You're getting dressed up. You're going down there, you're
working for somebody and they give you no money.
(07:01):
That there it is. That's.
Driving it in, he's driving it in not realizing, not knowing
he's doing that, but you're likeas.
Much as I would spend time trying to explain it to him,
he's never going to understand. So you guys stop telling people
who don't understand that you have auditions.
(07:21):
Yeah, and this stops. Telling my mother because my
mother would go. So how did it go?
I'd be like God, mom. It's not all it works.
I just did it. OK, Well, do you think you got
the part, Mom? I don't know.
It's like the. Questions.
Those are the questions. Unanimously.
(07:43):
Unanimously. Well, you did a good job, right?
Yes, Mom, I did a great job. I don't know.
Well, how long is it going to take?
Trust me, that was the last timeI tell her.
I don't tell her anymore becauseof all the questions she's asked
me Questions. She loves me.
(08:05):
Exactly. She's a huge support person in
your life. They don't know what they're
doing. They don't know what they're
asking. But every time she asked, it's
like, I'm like, Mom, you'll be the second person to know.
I'll be the first. Yeah, 100%.
That's just so true. So true.
You can, oh, you could have beenin something really cool and
then you get triggered because you, you know, you're like, Oh
(08:29):
my gosh, am I like, I just, I just booked this imposter
syndrome. Imposter syndrome is a big, big
trigger. You walk into set and you're
like, I I bet they're going to think they made a mistake.
And that just sends you spiraling down.
And then you do the job and you've the whole time you're
like, this is probably the last job I'll ever do.
(08:49):
No one's ever going to hire me again.
You get in this weird actors getin this weird spiral.
Let's talk about imposter syndrome for a second.
I mean, let's just look at the facts, OK?
The facts are how many submissions are for, let's say
the person that has some imposter syndrome.
How many submissions do you think casting director received
(09:12):
for that job? Oh, hundreds.
Give me a number like 1000. Oh, I mean it depends on the
project, but I would what I'm hearing is now that we've gone
to self tape, I mean they can get like AI had AI heard a
casting director say within the like you, you put a project out,
put a project out and within an hour he has like 2000
(09:36):
submissions or less less. Than say let's say 2000.
OK, it's part of my point that I'm proving.
Yeah. So out of the 2000 people, they
picked you to audition now. OK, so they picked you to
audition. So they're probably only calling
in maybe 40. OK, so they have 40 people
(10:00):
auditioning and then you beat 40people.
Sorry, 39. Yeah, yeah.
I will say. Something about you?
Right. And it's also like, like
respecting what their jobs are respecting, you know, the
director, if you do book something and the director and
(10:23):
producer, they've chosen you, they've you could probably gone
through, you know, if, if it's theatrical, you've gone through
a handful of callbacks. And so it's like, it's like
respecting and trusting their choices, like.
Yeah, so that you calling them wrong like like there's
something wrong with them then? Exactly.
(10:43):
Think about what you're think about what you're saying to
yourself. Like what is when you're feeling
like, oh, they made a mistake, What are you really saying?
That's why I wanted to do this logic exercise.
Logically, the the road that you're going down doesn't make
(11:04):
sense. Right.
Yeah. So just stop.
Just stop the, you know, get offthe horse, Yeah.
Or, you know, or maybe you need to go into therapy for a while.
Yes, that is work. On that is too.
I think that's a really good solution.
Therapy is not a bad word. I mean, I've been in and out of
(11:26):
therapy since I'm 14 years old and you see how adjusted I am.
How far you've come. Seriously, I've been in and I
started, I remember the first time I went into therapy, I was
getting panic attacks in college.
I don't know what was going on. Scared the you know what out of
me. I don't know what they were that
then and thought I was dying. Like I kept thinking I'm I'm
(11:48):
dying and found out it was anxiety attacks.
And, you know, there's a lot of reasons that can come up, but
therapy is so helpful, you know,and PS side note, I have a list
of therapists that work specifically with people in in
the entertainment industry. So this and you need a referral.
(12:11):
You can, yeah, I will send it toyou.
You can. And you guys, hypnotherapy is
really great. I remember when I first came out
of here, I had, I had a big issue of not having a voice.
Now I just won't shut up. So she did this as this
hypnotherapy exercise of taking a rope off my neck and it
(12:34):
changed everything. Oh, that's amazing.
I that's crazy. I was like. 21 years old.
Wow, that is really fascinating.Yeah, therapy is.
It can be a really powerful tool.
Seriously. Support groups.
Same thing. Support.
(12:54):
Groups gestalt therapy is great.My my aunt used to be a gestalt
therapist. I I went and she she was from
Woodstock, NY. I mean, she was like a massive
hippie. Yes.
Full blown hippie. Her boyfriend built their house
in the woods, OK. She was a dancer, amazing.
(13:16):
She was a dancer. She at Juilliard.
She's she graduated from Juilliard and her teacher was
Martha Graham. Oh my gosh, that is wild stuff.
Yeah, she was a modern, modern dancer.
But I mean, Martha Graham created modern dance.
(13:37):
But she ended up in Woodstock and I went to visit her and she
showed me her office and she hada tennis racket on the bed.
I'm like, what the heck is that?And she says, oh, well, I have
my people. They pick up the racket and they
just hit the pillow and they go.So who are you feeling bad about
today? My mother, my mother, my mother,
(13:58):
my mother. And And so they get it out using
the tennis racket, hitting a pillow.
I, I mean, I can, I can see that.
I can see that being having somekind of effectiveness, yeah.
It was effectiveness, you know? And get it out.
She went to a lot of tennis rackets.
What's that? She said she went through a lot
(14:20):
of tennis rackets. She must have yeah, there's just
a lot of stuff that we are carrying that we are, you know,
there like we've talked about this so many times.
This is why you started doing the actors you are enough thing
because actors come into the industry real pretty broken.
You guys, You you've you're, if you don't already know this
(14:41):
about yourself, you're probably some brokenness there.
And it's just it's in there and it has to be processed.
It has to. You also need to know that your
brokenness is what what where you're telling us.
Yes, it's. Just you have to just get it up.
Magic of it, right? Yeah, the more broken you are,
the more interesting you're going to be to watch.
(15:02):
It's just that how do you, how do you not take things
personally when it's coming at you, you know?
Yep. And then when it's being under.
Control. Exactly.
And then and then like what whenit's not managed and, and you
you're not able to direct it andit turns into something like
depression. You know how let's talk about, I
(15:24):
want to talk about like, how does, how does depression
manifest itself uniquely to actors?
Like what? What are some things you ways
that you've seen? I mean, some things are standard
across the board for anyone, butI'll tell.
You this is, this is really bad.The more auditions you get, the
more you spiral out. So you're actually bringing the
(15:49):
previous audition into your nextaudition.
And so by the time you get to like audition #10 and you still
haven't booked anything, you're,you're not even the same actor
anymore. Wow.
Whoa, that's so, so crazy. Yeah, which is why you have to
realize that every audition has its own uniqueness and it
(16:12):
doesn't belong with the next one.
Yeah, and. That if you have a team of
people that are or you feel thatthey're going to drop you, that
shouldn't even be going into your audition either.
Because what happens is that youchip away and chip away and chip
away. And by the time you get to like
the 10th audition, you're like ashell of of a person.
(16:35):
Wow. That's when you could really
feel depressed and anxiety. You're not doing it for you
anymore. Right, right.
There's generalized anxiety and then there's situational anxiety
and a lot of people, you know, they, some people have the
generalized that some people really struggle with anxiety
because they get intense anxietywith auditions.
(16:56):
And then if they're, if it's if it's that process you're talking
about, it just keeps growing with with each audition, right
anxiety. So I mean, what used to happen
when I was at the theater, agents used to send the people
over to for me to fix them, right?
That was not my favorite studentbecause they would come all
desperate and needy. You know, they're like, all my
(17:16):
agent's going to draw on me. I've had 15 auditions or 20
auditions or 30 auditions. I'll be like, and you're coming
to me now. You know, that wasn't my
favorite time because you can't.You can't book when you're
feeling needy. Yes.
So, so much of each audition needs to be kept with each
(17:41):
audition. And if you're feeling like like
they're going to drop you, then you're not with the right Rep.
Wow. Where are your reps?
Where your reps said drop because you're not doing
anything about it. Right.
That's really an amazing, amazing point for sure, for
(18:03):
sure. Yeah, I think, I think, you
know, some of the things to likelook out for like some people I
think like they know they're like awful somehow, but they
don't really want to address it in themselves.
And so these, you know, one of the the things objectively that
you can look at, you know, to identify, Oh my gosh, am I
(18:23):
struggling with depression? But I haven't realized because I
keep masking. It is like high risk behavior.
You know, a lot of actors find themselves go entering into high
risk behavior, excessive drinking, you know, drug abuse,
drug abuse. Like late night, some over
indulgence of sexual activity that's literally that has a
(18:47):
place. I'm not saying that.
I mean saying don't mask it withit.
Yeah, yeah, you. You, it's like you, you want to
just, if you're getting like offthe little off the rails and
that and that you might be in a community that that's really
just normal. But you have to recognize that
just because something's normal doesn't mean it's healthy and
(19:09):
doesn't mean it's going to help you.
And, and you don't want to trainwreck.
You know you don't want to before you've even fulfilled
your destiny as an actor. You don't want to train wreck.
Yeah, and it and it becomes cumulative too, because I had a
very long stretch of period of my life where I was doing that
long stretch, but I was working a lot too.
(19:32):
But the work started tapering off because I wasn't showing up
because I was hungover. Yeah, yeah, I.
Wasn't on my game. You know, you got us just, I
mean, you got to again, just just be the ball, guys.
Be the ball. Do some meditation.
Yeah, yes, mindfulness. Yeah, there's a great app called
(19:54):
Insight Timer got like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and
hundreds of meditations on there.
Yeah, there's people from all over the world teaching or I do
guided meditations, but like hundreds of people like.
(20:17):
And, and I didn't, I didn't buy,but you could purchase for a pro
account where you could courses.They literally have stress
management courses. They have depression caught of
course anxiety caught courses, panic attack courses.
They're very. Sleep.
Sleep if you're actually I had. That long, long ago, yeah, the
(20:40):
and the yeah, those are those can be so helpful.
Abide. You're reminding me Abide is
another app, meditation app. It's called Abide A/B IDE.
It's that one is a faith-based one.
It, it's also important to know that if you don't have a faith
developing that research has shown that that is a huge, that
(21:03):
is a very effective way to, you know, deal with depression,
anxiety, mental health issues. It's the 12 step program that's
a fundamental part of it. You know, recognizing your
higher power, developing your faith and prayer life is huge in
dealing with depression, anxiety, mental health.
Yeah, I think 'cause so much of it is 'cause you're around like
(21:24):
minded people and and you're creating community and you don't
feel like you're alone. That's that's definitely, that's
definitely a huge part of it forsure, yeah.
Yeah, when you go to church, what I'm saying is like when you
go to church or temple or wherever you want to go, you're
with a group of people that thatare all are all about getting to
(21:49):
a higher level. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
And you know, when there's recognition that there's
something power higher than ourselves, then we're not.
We don't have to do things in our own strength.
You know that that is can be really overwhelming.
Sometimes a trigger is just being overwhelmed by life and
then cycle right grounding. To go to one of those places you
(22:13):
know. Yeah, you have another source of
strength and ability, ability toget through things and 'cause
then, then otherwise it's like acycle.
Like you, you know, you feel overwhelmed and then that caught
that, you know, contributed to depression.
When you're depressed, everything makes you feel more
overwhelmed. Same with anxiety.
So if you have like a, you know,the this power outside of
(22:36):
yourself to get through and to walk through, that changes
everything. Yeah, it's a big deal.
I I cry wherever I'm in. And I don't know if you noticed
when you took me to that church one time, I was sobbing.
Did you notice? I I saw you.
I was kind of enveloped in the song and cut, you know, I was
(22:58):
like, I remember, like I looked over in point and and I'm like,
oh, she's emotional. Wow, that something must be
hitting her. Something's hitting her.
You know, whenever I even when Ieven when I went to temple, a
friend of mine's husband passed away and they thought I was the
one who lost the husband. That's how hard I was crying.
Oh my good. Nobody even went like this to
(23:18):
me, you know, like stop, they like elbowed, like stop it.
I just was just feeling the power of Spirit, you know, so
hard. You know, it's just something
about it. And it doesn't matter where I am
and what place of worship. I know that God's there.
(23:40):
So, but God's everywhere, guys. God is everywhere.
So it doesn't matter where because wherever you are, there
it is. So I want to I want to talk
about making lists. Yeah.
Making lists and approaching things and the reason why I'm
saying that what, what, what? Is I'm intrigued.
(24:02):
Let's hear about this. I have, I have three types of
lists. I have the daily list, weekly
list, actually four types, the monthly list, and then my bucket
list, you know, and so when you write something on a list and
you check it off, it makes you feel good.
It makes you feel like you're accomplishing something.
A lot of times depression comes from that.
(24:24):
You're not move in movement. Yes.
Yeah, and, and action always relieves anxiety.
Always. And you can just make yourself,
even if you wrote that you're doing laundry today, that you do
all the loads, fold it, put it away.
(24:45):
There's something about the completion of it that makes you
feel good. It does, it changes your brain
chemistry and and that's the thing you have to like, if
you're laying in bed and you're like, I, I just, I feel so too
depressed to get out of bed. You have to kind of like get to
a point where like I don't, I don't, you can't even think of
(25:05):
what you want to do or what you should do.
Like you just nothing seems likeI want to do this.
If you just start moving like Mel Robbins, she has the five
minute, the 5 second rule or that book that it came.
She was in a severe depression and she couldn't get out of bed.
She tried setting her alarm and she would just push snooze.
(25:26):
She tried all these different things and then finally it she
it something came to her. I think it was divine
inspiration, but she just said she just picture like this
rocket and in five seconds it's going to take off and she's
going to pop out of bed. So she just went, she just
started one morning. She's like OK 5 4.
(25:47):
And it's great. 21 and she just about like a rocket and then she
just started she's like, I'm just going to she just started,
you know, I'm going to walk downto my kitchen like the most
simple thing, I'm going to get coffee.
She just did it and she's like, Oh my gosh, I just got that done
and it started changing her brain chemistry.
And I mean literally. Yeah, I'm telling you, let me
(26:09):
show you my book, OK? OK, now you might think this is
a little chaotic, but look at that.
Hey, can you see it? Oh, what is happening there?
Is that your list? Oh, it's back marks daily.
These are daily. Things that I got done.
Oh you should. You should take a picture of
(26:31):
that and post it. It's like Frog and Toad.
Do you remember Frog and Toad and and his frog's list?
Frogger, one of them, they made a list and it was like tie my
shoe. It's like literally you can put
anything on. There.
Oh, oh, yeah. I have little things like that
on here too. I have bigger things.
I have little things, yeah. Absolutely.
(26:54):
I have laundry on there. Yeah, right, right.
Eat breakfast. You know, you need to empty your
mind. And this, that's what these
lists do for me. I mean, even, like, by wrapping
paper, you know, or if I ran outof detergent.
By detergent. Yeah.
Like, you don't want anything inyour brain.
(27:16):
You want your brain cleared. Yeah.
So if it takes like sometimes I'm like, I'm an idiot.
I'll, I'll write a text to myself, OK.
And then within 3 seconds I'll get a text and I'll be like, oh,
forget, you know where I'm goingwith this.
I'll be like. You know, with emails.
I got a text. So I saw that e-mail, copied
(27:36):
myself on it Ding and I oh, and I go to to open it.
I'm like, Oh my gosh, you literally know.
I said I know that. I sent that to myself and I so.
It's every dumb. I'm like, oh, I got attacked and
my God damn it, it's my. I just learned I just learned
how to this is true confessions.It's so embarrassing, but I just
(28:00):
like 2 weeks ago learned that you could mark a text as unread
did not know that you could do that that that was something you
could do now. And I was lamenting to a friend,
why don't this day and age they have a way to do that.
She's like, but they do. I'm like, this is good to know.
And so as we started, I started doing that.
I started marking it save to read and, you know, save for
(28:23):
later. And then I look, you know, I put
my phone down, look at it like literally 10 seconds later.
Oh, I have a text, just saved itfor myself.
Yeah. So anyways but.
Yeah, why the why? Mark it on read.
Because I can't, if I can't get back to them right when I read
it, which often I can't. And then I it's like that way I
(28:43):
can read. It's like emails like Mark.
That's interesting. Yeah, am I thinking you
something new too? No, that's interesting because
people, we're talking about the psychology of a person who sends
a text and somebody doesn't textback.
That's a trigger. That's actually another trigger
for people They say feel they think they're being ghosted.
(29:04):
They feel rejected. Well then I should send back.
Somebody sent me a good morning text and I never wrote back.
It would be like good evening bythe time I get back to them.
You know what, they might feel rejected.
You should probably say something.
On the other hand, we also can'tbe making decisions just on
like, oh, how is, you know, is somebody going to be?
(29:27):
Yeah, like, that's another trap,too.
It's another mental health trap.Yeah, but but I you also don't
want to be like stuck feeling responsible all the time.
Exactly. It's really, you know, so that's
why sometimes I just don't answer.
If you can't answer, you don't answer.
(29:49):
It's not because I don't want to, it's because I have so many
other things to do. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, personal. And, you know, someone was
talking to me about this the other day that like someone
they've been trying to get together with, with a friend of
theirs and they, they keep, you know, I'm so busy and they, she
(30:14):
knows they're busy. They're in school and they're
doing working and this and that and this, that.
But then she'll like get social media, she'll look at, you know,
Instagram and like, wait, they're hanging out with these
other people. I thought they were too busy
and, you know, and then you start going into this death
spiral. Yeah, it.
Could have been from last week. It it didn't necessarily it.
(30:38):
Could have been from it wasn't necessarily that day, but then
also another thing that she was sharing that she had learned in
therapy or or read it or something is proximity.
So these friends, they went to the same school.
This person didn't go to the same school as them.
They'd lived in not super close to each other, but close enough
(30:59):
to get together. But not it's not the same as
like, you know, if you're like your neighbors on your street,
if you maybe you're too busy to make this all these arrangements
to, you know, see someone over there in that town, but you it's
easier to get a pizza. With somebody next?
Yeah, yeah. So proximity is huge.
So we we people need should be always keeping that in mind
(31:21):
like. Yeah, that's interesting.
Well, live. Close to them.
Do they, you know, do they go tothe same church and they just
decided to go get lunch after church and, you know, yeah.
So I think everybody is like, they take everything personally,
but you can't help it because we're all, I think all of us are
very sensitive right now. I mean, not not that you should
(31:43):
go around having a hard skin, but there's always a reason.
Yeah. Don't, don't be jumping on
somebody, right? Jumping on them, hey.
Shoot, no, I think that I think that that that is super
important. But then also like, maybe
there's going to be this occasional person that they
(32:05):
really are kind of douchey and like treat you bad.
And so at that point, it's like,you know what, I there's a there
is, there's still a reason. The reason is like, I don't like
that I'm, you know, I'm being protected from this person.
Like God, maybe I don't like. I'm glad to see this about Let's
talk. About let's segue into the
(32:26):
people that you surround yourself with.
That's. So good, let's do that are.
You are you guys sitting around a coffee shop talking about
awful things that are happening.Wouldn't it be better to sit
around a coffee shop and talk about a project you could do
together and, and maybe write something together or do a skit
(32:47):
together? Because a lot of these TikTok
skits or these skits on on YouTube are really short.
They're not very long and you guys can just get together and
just have fun together. Yes.
You don't sit around bitching and complaining with people.
Yes, bitching and complaining toyou.
(33:09):
If it's a great friend, that's understandable, you want to be
there for them. But if it's constant.
Right. You might need to re evaluate
the friendship. 100% if there's negative, if you find yourself
like mostly speaking negatively about things or people.
And it's not about being in denial.
I mean, there's some crazy stuff, painful, sad stuff going
(33:30):
on in LA right now. So it's, it's important to
acknowledge that and, and express like, Oh, I'm, you know,
I'm this is making me feel this way, this way.
But if you're just like speakingnegatively and cursing this
person and that person, no matter who it's you're cursing
what, what, how you feel about wherever you're coming from.
If you're just, you know, it's just negative, like that's good
(33:53):
that that also changes your brain chemistry and it's kind
of. It perpetuates itself.
It's it'll, it'll roll out and keep rolling out and it won't
stop exactly. You know when they say stop the
madness, that's exactly what they need.
Just stop the madness A. 100% it's not.
That's different than talking about this is making me feel
(34:15):
this way. Just like anger is just spewing
out all the time. Like that's not going to help
you. It's not good for you.
It's not good for your your biochemistry.
And yeah, I'm being raged enraged online too.
I've unfriended probably 25 people on Facebook within the
last month and a half because I don't want to read their rage.
(34:38):
Yes, you didn't want that energy.
No, I want to be peaceful. Yeah.
I want to write another list. Right.
Take another thing off, right? I want to hang out with people
that that bring me joy and make me feel like I'm 14 again.
Oh, I love that. I like that.
(35:00):
It's like a standard, a measurement.
That's my new measurement. Do I feel like I'm 14 when I'm
with this club? Yes to them.
Yeah, I mean, if you remember when you were 14, right, like.
Are some of the best memory. I mean even in the midst of
being such a turbulent like crazy, you know anxiety
(35:21):
provoking. There's also like I laughed
harder. I think I peed literally like
literally peed my pants more that year than like life I went
through it's. Really true, though it's.
Just peed my pants like laughingso hard.
You know, and I used to my when my parents used to punishment
send me to my room, I was thrilled because I got to create
(35:44):
dances. You know what I mean?
I would. I would paint, I would listen to
music, I would my. God.
And then I would have friends over and we would do dances
together and. Yes, totally.
I remember listening to Loverboymaking up dances.
But yes, with my my other friendwould come over and we'd like
(36:06):
listen to the radio and like when the police would come on
record, push record like that, you know, making our mixtapes.
And I mean, it's like the best, like the like, you wanna feel
that way? Yeah.
Get each other in paint, guys. Maybe, maybe, maybe make like a
dream board, you know? Yes.
Oh, that's so good. Nobody would be judging you on
(36:30):
it because it's your creativity and, you know, collecting like,
like magazines. So you could pull things out and
yeah, and start collecting like little things that you could
maybe put on it. That's I love that.
Yeah. Dream boards.
Dream boards. We should do a.
(36:50):
Bunch of things we should get together and make a dream board
we. Should we?
Should I? Gosh, but I've done a few of
those. It's been a long time, but I
remember like, you know, a year to to five years later, I pull
it out once and I'm like, Oh my gosh, that actually happened.
Like it was just the cool. That's so.
Cool. Yeah, super, super fun.
Super fun. Yeah, yeah, I have.
(37:14):
I have an old dream board and I have a a brand new one.
Yeah, I mean the but the other one had an Academy Award on it.
So that's still, that's still inthe works.
That's still in the works. It has.
But it's on it. No, it's not.
It. And on keep it on with all the
(37:34):
stuff. OK, So what else do I have on my
list? I take your list.
And actually I I covered everything that was on my list.
What do you have on your list? We, I, we kind of did cover it.
We kind of went, we kind of do it.
I wonder like, would you be goodto hear like questions for
people like what has been reallyhelpful when you've gone through
(37:58):
depression or anxiety? What has been?
What are things that have been the most helpful for you?
I do have an acting exercise that they can do that we could
leave them with. Oh yeah.
OK, so the acting exercise, since you were walking, talking,
emotional vehicle for the writer, then why not the next
time that you feel something andyou're triggered by something,
(38:21):
then write down what the triggeris.
All of you should have an emotional journal because you
are an emotional being. So why don't you use this time
that you're feeling emotional toyour benefit because you're
going to need to be able to get to every single emotion in your
(38:42):
body. So start writing it down or pick
an emotion a week. That's so good.
Thank you. Let's say you pick I, I like
paranoia or fear, you know, and then and then I want you guys to
do the, the Rite Aid, CVS bonds,whatever store you want to go
(39:06):
into exercise. And this is how the exercise
works. OK, you're going to start in
your car and you've got to buildit up.
Like you're about to break down and cry, but you're going to
hold it. Then you're going to go into
like CVS and buy like 3 things. And you're going to go up to the
counter, have a conversation with the cashier, buy it, go to
your car, close the door and break down.
(39:30):
And if you can't do that, then you're not at the top of your
juicy emotional vehicle. Oh my gosh, that's so good.
Yeah, I called it the Rite Aid exercise, but I should change it
to CVS because I don't even knowif Rite Aid's even out anymore.
But it's a really good exercise to do because you should have a
(39:51):
discipline in in your crying vehicle because you never know
when they're going to pick you to to go and and shoot because
they're always going to shoot the series regulars and the
other people that are ahead of you.
And that means that you're goingto need to hold onto it for a
long period of time. Oh, my gosh, That's so, so good.
(40:13):
Yeah. And that is very, very true.
One of my actors was in this last fall, was in.
He's in the opening scene of a amajor horror franchise that's
coming out this fall. Yeah.
And he has to. He had to, it was an extremely
(40:34):
emotional scene. I won't go into the details
about it, but it was very emotional.
And he said it was he, he took like a few days to recover
because even though it's a very short scene, it's very intense.
But he, there was like, you know, the day that they did it,
it was they, they did it, you know, for a large part of the
(40:55):
day. And he, you know, he'd get to
that part and then they'd have to stop because of the, oh,
wait, the sound's not quite right.
Oh, wait, the lighting's not quite right.
And it'd be like, OK, wait, no, you're at the wrong angle.
And so you'd have to stop, do all this technical stuff, and
then boom back into like this super gnarly, intense crying
scene. Yes.
That is a real, real thing. That is, that is a skill that
(41:17):
has got to be developed if you're if you have goals to go
far and what. Yeah, you have to be able to to
pull it out. You know, I mean, I remember I
had booked, what was it, NYPD Blue back in the day?
Yes, Yeah, I remember that show.He was with Dennis Franz.
(41:39):
He was. He smelled so good.
But anyway I segue. Smell.
He, Oh my God, he. I was like, what are you
wearing? Right.
Anyway, so the scene was very heavy, but I'm thinking we're
just about to shoot it and then they call lunch.
Oh. My gosh, you're all geared up.
(42:02):
You got to start back over because they have to redo your
makeup. There's lunch for an hour and an
hour to redo your makeup and air.
So that's two hours you got to start back up again.
Oh. My God.
One really great scene, my neighbor was dead and I talked
about my neighbor. It was a great scene, but I was
(42:22):
crying. I was supposed to cry through
the scene. My goodness.
I know they break a lot. Wow, did you find that like
doing exercises like that beforeyou even audition for this?
Like it was your you had gotten yourself ready to be able to do
something like that. Well.
Just generally speaking, you have to be a juicy vehicle.
(42:44):
So that's why, you know, there'ssome people that that are in
shape. Yeah.
Some people aren't, so that's why I'm saying while you're
already in an emotional state, use it to your benefit.
Yeah, so good, so good. Love that.
Use it. OK guys, listen again.
(43:07):
If you really love what we're doing, congratulate us by
following us, commenting, sharing, subscribing.
Do something. And also, I just found out about
this today. You don't even know about this
yet, but the end of August, Clark Sowers, who is the CEO of
(43:33):
Expert Effect that we just had on our podcast, just a couple
episodes, episode 4, he is goingto be running and I'm I'm
helping him coordinate a a mastermind, a mental health
mastermind. Wow.
Going to be somewhere we don't have the dates will be coming
(43:55):
out with all the information thedate in place soon.
But if you have any interest in this at all, it's a mastermind.
Meaning this is really the cool super cool part about it.
One of the cool parts about it is that there's there's no
specific pre decided topic that everyone's coming together and
everyone is going to begin to share what it is that they're
(44:18):
dealing with and most want help with.
And so as it becomes discussed, it's going to be kept to 15
people. So it's going to fill up super
fast. So if you're interested, go
ahead and put your, you know, right in the comments or message
us directly that you can messageme directly that you're
interested in the mastermind expert effect mastermind.
(44:39):
Just put them the notes Expert Effect Mastermind or not Notes
in comments. Really cool.
And you guys want to know Clark is just go back a couple of
episodes and you'll yeah, it literally is 2 episodes back and
it was, it was called stress management.
In the field and in a long time and.
(45:00):
Stress resiliency. Stress resilience.
Exactly. And this is specifically for
actors, and it's going to be awesome.
So is it going to be on in person?
It's gonna be in person. Yep.
LA in LA, probably. We're looking at a place in
(45:21):
Studio City. It's indoors.
Right near me. Very close to you and so, but we
will have more of the details about that coming.
That's exciting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Love you guys. We're great rest of your day or
night, whenever you're watching this, remember that you are
(45:42):
enough. You are.
Enough. Enough bye guys.
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