S3 E20: Alligator vs Werewolves

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Ever wondered what surprising drink discovery could become your new favorite? We kick off with a candid chat about forgotten explicit songs and stumble upon the unexpectedly delightful White Russian. We'll have you laughing as we share a sobering tale about a friend's dad's near-tragic motorcycle accident, emphasizing the importance of helmets, and the absurdities of dealing with insurance companies. Get ready for some light-hearted banter as we navigate the quirky world of ADHD, hyper-fixation, and the wild idea of trying Russian roulette in a hand simulator game.

For all the gaming enthusiasts, this episode is packed with co-op game recommendations that will have you eager to gather your friends for a session. From the epic "Ark" update featuring Power Rangers to reminiscing about our favorite D&D podcast moments, we’ve got you covered for your next game night. We don’t shy away from playful insults and personal anecdotes, making our conversation both relatable and entertaining. Plus, we tackle the serious issue of a massive data breach, offering insights on credit monitoring and dealing with data brokers.

Lastly, movie buffs will get a kick out of our review of the hilariously absurd film "Alligator" and the surprisingly good "Werewolves Within." Listen to our outrageous early blogging days of hunting for the worst films at the dollar store, and laugh along to our brainstorming session for future podcast ideas. We also recount a hilarious inappropriate Zoom meeting incident and share our thoughts on the logistics of future episodes. You won’t want to miss this episode filled with laughter, unexpected twists, and genuine camaraderie.

Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
I don't know.
I was just trying to sing therest of the song.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
What was the song?
Sorry, I missed it I don'treally remember it now.
Marky, do you remember thelyrics?

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Something about fucking Dicks.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I started the recording, by the way, oh.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Something about Dicks .
Yeah, there was dicks and moredicks.
Yeah, there was dicks and moredicks, and they were being drank
drinking dicks all themotherfucking day, yeah
something like that dickdrinkers drinking the dicks what
you got there, marky, captainCoke you know, I recently made

(00:44):
myself a white Russian and Ithought I wasn't going to like
it.

Speaker 4 (00:48):
I have this bartender app that I plug in everything
that I have.
It tells me like you can makethese drinks with what you have,
and one of the top rated drinkswas a white Russian.
I was like I've never had one.
I just know about it because ofthe big Lebowski and he
technically doesn't make a whiterussian kind of makes like a
really bastardized version of it.
But it's really simple.

(01:10):
You just have coffee liqueur,you have vodka and you have
cream.
You just mix your coffeeliqueur and your vodka together
and then you put like an ounceof cream on top and you just
slowly stir it together and justkind of tastes like spiked
coffee.
If I'm being honest, it'sreally not bad, I would try it.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
I've never had one either.

Speaker 4 (01:30):
Honestly thought I was going to hate it.
Ended up really enjoying it.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Pretty good, that's cool.
Pretty good, pretty good.
What do we do?
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
You want to tell a story about your insurance
person.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
He hasn't heard it.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
That's okay.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
No, it's because I'm like in the voice chats anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Insurance companies are stupid.
Yes, they are, insurancecompanies are stupid.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
I almost got to join a very prestigious club that
Coco was a part of, the autismclub the dead dad club.
The Dead Dad Club, the Dead DadClub.
What'd your dad almost do?
Fuck any guy hit by an old ladywhile he was on his motorcycle.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, and right about you gotfucking ejecto'd, got super
lucky.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
Please tell me he was wearing a helmet.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, really no.

Speaker 4 (02:27):
No, I hate to say it.
Anytime I see a motorcycle notwearing a helmet, the first
thing I think of is if yousurvive a motorcycle accident, I
don't know, maybe God doesexist and he's watching after
you.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
Because otherwise, I just imagine your head going
stripes on his elbow.
What?

Speaker 1 (02:42):
do you think about me ?

Speaker 4 (02:45):
oh well, I've seen you wear a helmet.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, I always wear a helmet.
Exactly Anytime I think aboutnot wearing a helmet, I see a
motorcycle accident and I'm likeI like to keep my brains inside
my head and that's why.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
I wear a helmet over there.
Makes sense.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah, anybody got any good games to play?
No, I'm kind of scrollingthrough steam and I'm not really
seeing anything either.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
I always play Russian roulette.
God, I want to play that so badyou can play it in hand
simulator oh god, game is soridiculous.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
It's so fucking stupid.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
I don't know.
I sent.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
Coco a fuck ton of co-op games for Game Boat
purposes, and he never repliedback to any of them.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
I just didn't do that work.
You know what you did is.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
you saw that it was a long list and you immediately
stopped caring is what happened?

Speaker 2 (03:44):
That's called ADHD.
That's called ADHD.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
You should have just sent them to me one at a time
over like a course of 10 hoursand I'd fucking look at all of
them.
I hyper fixation, wouldn'tallow it.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Well, fuck you, you dirty slut.
Just pick the games and I'llplay whatever.
I'll buy whatever for both ofus.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
What sounds good to you.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
You have better taste than I do, please come now.

Speaker 4 (04:09):
You can come for a whole land he can't take this
fucking.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
He can't take shitting on me and then me
returning back compliments tohim.
It breaks his fucking brain.
You dumb piece of shit.
Well, you're smarter than me.

Speaker 4 (04:23):
That's a fucking lie.
I went into education.
That was the dumbest thing I'veever done in my life.
Look at that baby sometimes I'msix feet from the edge and I'm
thinking, yeah, that's a kittybelly, alright.
So some of the shit that I sentCoco that he never yeah, that's

(04:45):
a kitty belly, alright.
So some of the shit that I sentCoco that he never responded to
yeah, because I'm fuckingstupid as shit.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
You're not stupid as shit.
I should play Ark.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Oh, with the Power Rangers update.
Wait, Ark has Power Rangers now.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
Yeah, Ark has Power Rangers in it.
It's the Mighty Morphin.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
I mean, I'm not really surprised.

Speaker 4 (05:12):
I'm not either.
I'm really shocked to have veryhappened sooner, uh, but some
things that I have sent him weredeath watchers, a four-player
co-op game, twelve dollars, uh,the bureau of contacts, which is
I don't know if that's justco-op see to do it says online
co-op, so I'm assuming oh, oneto four players.

(05:34):
There we go oh uh, it's whereyou have to like.
It's kind of like phasmophobia,except for you can actually
protect yourself a little bit.
It looks like.
Then there is uh, I was tryingto think of a joke to do it,

(05:57):
because it's called murky diversand I was going to call it
maybe like Jack Daniels drinkersor something, but I couldn't
think of anything creative.
It happens.
A four player co-op game whereyou're like checking out sunken
pharmaceutical labs with theirfailed experiments swimming

(06:17):
around.
There's also Pilgrim, which isa first person roguelike game
with RPG elements and horrorelements in it.
That one's $8.
Murky Dollars is the cheapestat $6.
I will send the ADHD God, Idon't know why I'm so burpy.

(06:40):
I'm sorry, boys Burpy.
And there's also wait, no know,the other one's just two player
.
I'll take that one off.
Their panic core, which issomething peachy has recommended
to me.
They said that they enjoy thatone.
Uh, here we go.
One of those doesn't come outuntil like december.

(07:02):
I just kind of put on that listto coco I'll be sending this to
the adhd boys yeah, the adhdboys adhd.
Oh yeah, there's a lot there subterror yeah, that one doesn't
come out until december, but itlooked interesting, I liked it

(07:23):
murky.
We can make a bunch of murkyjokes.
I was trying to make a murkyjoke but none of them were
coming to me and I'm like youknow what?
Murky's getting off easy withme today, like he normally does
when I send him feed packs.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Mmm, mmm, yeah, murky .

Speaker 3 (07:43):
What.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Was that you going that?

Speaker 4 (07:46):
was that was pilgrim pilgrim yeah, that one looked
really interesting to me.
Uh, first person horror game,but it's also roguelike.
I think you're called pilgrimbecause you're technically going
on like a pilgrimage with yourfriends.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Oh, yes, right.

Speaker 4 (08:09):
Right.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Of course.

Speaker 4 (08:12):
That's my assumption, though I could be entirely
wrong.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Right, I assume you are a cutie.

Speaker 4 (08:19):
I wish.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
I excuse you, boys Aw .

Speaker 4 (08:25):
But speaking of Power Rangers, no, I don't know what
it was.
I was doing some of thatlandscaping job that I've been
doing for my parents as likejust a little bit of income
because parents are willing topay me for it.
But I decided to listen topodcasts while I'm working and

(08:45):
one of them that I've beenlistening to is, uh, tales from
the stinky dragon.
It's those people that used tobe on rooster teeth.
It was like their dnd podcast,like right around the time that
rooster teeth got shut by theirparent company.
So so kind of listening to it.

(09:06):
There was a lot in there that Iwas kind of like.
You know I don't think I missmaking D&D like podcast or
anything, but some of theconcepts that they were doing
I'm like you know I could haveedited the joysticks podcast to

(09:31):
sound so much better.
And I know this was Coco wasonly in there for like one
session, but Zeno can attestthat we would just sit there for
like minutes at a time becauserules lowering kind of happen,
and we would just kind of haveto sit through and just be like
OK, here it is.
We found the official rule andthen eventually we'd get like 20

(09:53):
minutes of narration go in andthen the moment combat happened,
like, ok, well, now we got todouble check the rules because
somebody brought this up.
It's like there's nothing wrongwith rules luring if you're a
rules lawyer, I think there's atime and a place for it like if
it is absolutely detrimentalthat you follow the rules by

(10:16):
golly.
Get that dm handbook, get theplayer's handbook, make sure you
understand it from like coverto cover.
Otherwise, just, I feel like,just go with.
What the dm says is, nine timesout of ten, the best way to
just make sure your story isjust flowing well.
And if your dm truly doesn'tknow, I mean help them out, be

(10:38):
like well, it says here on myplayer sheet that this spell
does this and the DM can justtake it and run with that.
Y'all are there to have fun.
Don't try to ruin it and slowdown.
Hey yo.
Hey yo.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
Hey yo Frankie.

Speaker 4 (11:02):
It looks like Pilgrim is only two players.
I what I don't know, becauseevery time I like I'm watching
the different trailers and I'monly seeing like two players
together at a time you know whatthat means I know, this one has
you've been down too long inthe midnight sea double check

(11:25):
who wants to carry me here?
I actually have to read throughthis whole description now just
says co-op multiplayer in thedescription.
You know what?
Maybe a quick Google searchwill fix this.
How many players can playPilgrim?

(11:54):
That's got Pilgrim versus theworld.
That is not the game that Iwant.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
Four players Come on players.

Speaker 4 (12:06):
I'm pretty sure most of our audience when I was
ranting about playing tabletoplike immediately zoned out and
those who are zoning back in,welcome back.
How was your zone out session?
Do you feel better?
Sometimes I need to zone outtoo to make sure that my own
little world's okay, so I knowZeno's watching the boys lately.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
How's the boys going, Zeno?

Speaker 1 (12:35):
You know I'm on season four and I feel like
seasons one through three, everyepisode I was like this show's
really fucking good.
Now in season four I'm justlike meh, alright, it's not been
super exciting is 4.

Speaker 4 (12:50):
The most recent season, yes, I've heard the most
recent season was just okay sofar.
Like I heard, it started goodand then it just kind of tapered
off yeah, I would agree, it'sjust kind of alright,
unfortunately.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
I know I'm like it just kind of tapered off.
Yeah, I would agree, it's justkind of all right, unfortunately
.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
I know I'm like behind on shows, like majorly,
because I just don't reallywatch shows.
But I started watching DoomPatrol.
Yeah, a DC Comics one withBrendan Fraser comics one with,

(13:31):
uh, brendan frazier.
It's more like a superhero soapopera where occasionally they
kind of remember oh wait, theseguys are supposed to be
superheroes, let's have asuperhero fight like, uh,
there's this one episode whereI'm still in season one.
So spoilers for anyone whohasn't watched season one to
doom patrol after like fouryears, cause I think it came out
around the pandemic.

(13:52):
But it is crazy, jane, anegative man and robot man get
teleported down to Paraguay,cause that is a clue of where
their chief is at, because thebig thing for season one, their
chief got taken.
Nobody knows where he's at all.

(14:13):
They know is Mr Negative hashim or Mr Nobody.
Sorry, mr Nobody has him.
So you have Negative man, youhave Mr Nobody and for some
reason that keeps messing me up.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
So I have to refer to Negative man as Larry Larry,
larry Larry.

Speaker 4 (14:35):
But in that episode one of my favorite episodes they
teleport down there.
They find out that the guywho's running this clinic that
they go into is a nazi and thenazi's still alive and he has
this power to, like, controlother people with his mind.

(14:57):
So he doesn't really have mind,but but he's just a Nazi that
can control people with his mind.
And there's this scene whereRobot man gets cornered in a
hallway and Robot man is playedby Brendan Fraser.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Is Robot, man a robot .

Speaker 4 (15:14):
Yes, the only thing human about him is his brain,
that's it.
Everything else is robot.
So he's like, oh, you want tofuck with me?
Let's fucking do this.
So he runs up and he startsfighting these people, but he
does not hold back.
Like the moment his handtouches this one dude to push
him on the ground, he splatterslike a watermelon on the ground.

(15:36):
It's just blood everywhere.
So robot man is just on thismurder spree in this hallway, oh
god.
And what's surprising to me islike, yeah, they showed blood in
some of the previous episodes,but it wasn't that bad.
The moment they got to thatepisode, it was just everywhere.
Like throats got cut open.
There's blood everywhere.

(15:56):
It's just, it's gross.
But like the last episode thatI watched, uh, they like forced
each other into a therapysession with each other because
they're all like, yeah, we'reall a little fucked up and uh,
maybe we got to talk about that.
So I've been calling it kind oflike my personal soaps.

(16:21):
Hmm, because, like murky hashouse of dragon right now, those
are his soaps, brrrrrrrr, yeah,I know, it's that motorcycle or
bad truck, whatever it is thatcomes around this time.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
I come around this time too.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (16:41):
Hey, yo, hey yo you know what I'm saying?
Hey yo, hey yo, hey yo.
You know this is a bad episodeof ADHD After Dark, when he's
the one talking primarily.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
I was just busy locking down my credit.
What are you?

Speaker 4 (16:55):
doing with your credit.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
So there was a data breach by a company called
National Public Data.
You know one of them, sitesthat just kind of brokers data
for you know other sites to likesearch you up and background
checks and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Right.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Well, it turns out that they had a leak of about
2.9 billion records, oh,containing a fun fact that I
found out how far back it goes.
It has my dad's email address,combined with the house I lived
at when I was fucking six yearsold and haven't been there since
, so well, now I'm paranoid, souh, I would recommend everybody,

(17:39):
uh, look at that and make sure.
But they're selling the datafor apparently $3.5 billion on
the dark web.

Speaker 4 (17:49):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
And you know I got a bunch of emails from all of my
credit cards that have like thefree monitoring.
They're like hey, fyi, yoursocial security number and your
address and date of birth, andlike the last like four houses
you lived at is on the dark webnow and I'm like cool.

(18:12):
So everything that you ask toverify that I am me, so have fun
with that everybody.

Speaker 4 (18:27):
I won't have fun with that.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
I'm not going to have fun with that.
Everybody, I won't have funwith that.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
No, I'm not gonna have fun with that either I'm
exclusively not gonna have fun.
Yeah, I'm gonna steal youridentity.
I've been looking for you guys.
Yeah, fucking this company thatI never even know existed.
The thing that pisses me off isthere's this company that I
didn't even know existed thatgot my information sold to it by
like insurance companies,fucking the government, like

(18:49):
people I do my taxes throughpeople.
I was just like I would ratherthem not share my fucking social
security number, you know.
And then, uh, this company I'venever heard of is like oh yeah,
by way, all of your shit's outthere on the internet now.
So, fuck you, get fucked, cunt,get fucked cunt Well, discovery
or Discover who I go throughDiscover, should tell you if

(19:13):
your stuff's been out there ontheir fraud alerts.

Speaker 4 (19:17):
My fraud alerts is saying I'm good.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yeah, they probably dumped a small set of the data
to prove that it was real, andmine was probably part of the
small set of data that theydumped.
You'll have to just keep an eyeout on it.

Speaker 4 (19:34):
Lovely.
I mean, what do they want withan unemployed former teacher or
anything?
Let's be honest, To be fair,anybody can open up a credit
account.
I mean, what do they want?

Speaker 2 (19:43):
with an unemployed former teacher's anything.
Let's be honest, to be fair,anybody can open up a credit
account and then run up thething and then ruin your credit.

Speaker 4 (19:54):
I mean, it's not that hard to do, even if it's like a
thousand dollars and then itfucks you over and it takes
forever for it to like recover.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
Yeah, so have fun with that, guys.

Speaker 4 (20:02):
Alright, so another 13th reason.
Okay anyways, Murky, how's yourday?

Speaker 3 (20:09):
You mean 14th reason.

Speaker 4 (20:10):
Well, let's be honest , that's probably 34th reason.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
Rule 34th reason no Oof, oof.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
Bad day at the office .
It's really hot and humid today, ian it is.

Speaker 4 (20:24):
I am sweating in this office.
I actually need to probablyplug in one of these fans
actually yeah, take your pantsoff, coward.
Yeah, and your shirt who saysmy pants already aren't off are
they?

Speaker 2 (20:36):
prove it, bitch, stand up, you are.

Speaker 4 (20:39):
I mean, I'm wearing shorts, I'm not wearing pants I
mean, your pants are still on.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
Take that off, yeah take those off right now take it
off right now.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Xeno does not want to see that it's because xeno's a
pussy but coco does, and I wasdoing it for coco, the fuck coco
wants to see all the homiesnaked yeah, I mean, I don't have
to fucking see Zeno naked.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
His fucking clothing outlines enough for me to
imagine it.
I just don't know if his dickis misshapen or not what's up,
zeno?

Speaker 1 (21:14):
I just pulled a Mach Knight in a pack and Beyond
Light in what in the online?
Shadowverse game.
I pulled Mach Knight.
I thought you said Beyond Light.
And In what?
In the online Shadowverse game?
I pulled.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
I thought you said Beyond Light.
I was very confused.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
I just pulled a Hammer Dragon Ute Cool and
another.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
Mug Night, Mug Night man.
I haven't launched Shadowverse,the card game, in so long.

Speaker 4 (21:38):
I uninstalled it.
I'm going to be honest.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
I would have if I needed the space, but I didn't,
so I just left it up.
And now I'm like I haven'tplayed this game in a while.
I'm gonna check it out see whatit's all about.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
You mean the thing that got you into the actual
playing card game no, I startedplaying the actual card game.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah, I would say.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
Zeno and I started with the actual thing.
We got our starter deckstogether.
But then you went the actualcard game.
Yeah, I would say, zeno and Istarted with the actual thing,
we got our starter deckstogether.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
But then you went to the card game online, which then
hooked everybody else, but youplayed more of that before you
actually played the regular one.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Correct.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
E.
So how many more of those gamerule things do you have ready
for us to go?

Speaker 4 (22:21):
Oh, the game breaker thing?
None, if I'm being honest.
Rule things.
Do you have ready for us to go?
Oh, the game breaker thing.
None, if I'm being honest.
No, I do have some ideas.
I just have not had the time toactually just sit down and do
something with that.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
You have enough time to shit talk me all day.
You should have enough time todo that.

Speaker 4 (22:40):
I always make time specifically to shit talk to you
.
It's the only thing that makesme feel better about myself.
Uh, unfortunate.
Yeah, welcome to my life.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Uh oh, jesus.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
I'm out of skills to talk about this we can't.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
We can't say that stuff on the podcast.
Does he listen to this?
I haven't heard him.

Speaker 4 (23:05):
Yeah, he totally listens who listens to what now?
I don't know he probably does.
I don't know, I really don'tknow.
I don't really talk to him thatoften this is a great episode,
guys.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
I have no idea what to talk about you never know,
could just turn around last fiveminutes be super amazing that
happened once.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
I don't think we can do it again.
Xeno, did you listen to any oflast week's podcasts since you
weren't here?
Absolutely not, oh my god.
You have to listen to at leastlike the.
What is it like?
10 minutes from 10 minutes tolike 60 minutes?
You have to listen to thatbecause I was watching I'm not
gonna make e describe the movieagain, because it took us 50

(23:50):
minutes to describe this shittymovie that he watched I watched
another shitty movie oh, do youhave another?
is it?
Is it even worse than the otherone?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
oh, I would actually say it's a little better.
Sheriff was the killer.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
No, the one where, the one that.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
No, the sheriff was the drug dealer.

Speaker 4 (24:09):
Oh you're thinking Thanksgiving.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
The one that he talked about last week, zeno,
was called what Crabs, crabs?
Yeah, it was Crabs, and it wasjust.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Dusty, she's so excited, it's so cute Fucking
Christ.

Speaker 4 (24:27):
Oh, the drinking team , Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
Requirement you must be an alcoholic Beer Olympics.

Speaker 4 (24:34):
Beer Olympics, that's right, that's right.
I am currently drinking adouble IPA, which is a gumball
head variant.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
I have Smirnoff, red White and Berry, because America
, america, Summary for you, zeno.

Speaker 2 (24:48):
The movie was about like horseshoe crabs taking over
the world.
Mutants Horseshoe crabs, we'llcall them horseshoe crabs.
They didn't have CGI.
No, we're not going to gothrough this whole thing again.
Zeno, you can just listen tothe last, last week's podcast.
But here's the, here's thehighlights.

(25:09):
Uh, mutant crabs, japan, andthey're everywhere.
Japan blows up from nuclearexplosion in like the first
minute.
Uh, cut to america where peopleare having sex on a beach, then
get eaten by horseshoe crab.
Then cut to random priestflipping off kids.
Then cut to like a whole plotline about the school play and

(25:33):
some foreign exchange student,that prom, that's fucking way
older than everybody else, radu.
And then cut to, they getjumped and Radu comes back and
tells everybody that horseshoecrabs are attacking and

(25:54):
everybody thinks he's high.

Speaker 4 (25:55):
No, that they're badgers, that they're badgers
nobody knows what a horseshoecrab is in this movie.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
Yeah, and then and then cut to I don't know what a
horseshoe crab is in this movie.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yeah, and then nobody and then cut to.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
I don't know what a horseshoe crab is you would know
if you saw it and then cut tofucking.
Everybody starts gettingattacked by the horseshoe crabs
and they start taking overpeople's minds like zombies and
then like think alien, but doggystyle yeah, doggy style, yeah,
doggy style.
And then, like, cut to thepriest that was flipping off

(26:25):
people getting killed byhorseshoe crab Giant big foot
and then cut to fucking Gundammech battle against giant
fucking horseshoe crab mutant.
Then cut to.
They passed out and present daywhere they're fighting in Japan
With the giant shark, with thegiant shark, with the giant

(26:51):
shark back.

Speaker 4 (26:52):
That was made iron man style out of fucking.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
Uh, metal scraps, metal scraps fucking leftover 10
gauge wire, rubber band andfucking piece of cardboard.
And we're not going to talkabout the whole movie again,
because we spent 50 minutes onthis the last episode, zito.
So just listen to the podcastand you'll have everything you
know about that movie.

(27:14):
Okay, it sounds awful.
It was pretty bad.
He watched it sober.
We questioned why your newshitty movie?
What is this?
One Sounds awful.
It was pretty bad.
E watched it sober.
We questioned why your newshitty movie?

Speaker 4 (27:26):
What is this one E?
So let me start off with andI'll try to keep it as brief as
possible, because even mygirlfriend who listens to this
podcast, was like, hun, youdidn't do a summary, you just
did a fucking play by play.
And I'm like, okay, you'reright, you're right.
So we'll try to keep these alot shorter.
Let's start with a good movie.
That, I was pleasantlysurprised, was a good movie and,

(27:47):
in my opinion, is the bestvideo game adaptation movie out
there, like I've never seen theMario Brothers movie.
So this one right now is likemy number one best video game
adaptation.
It's called Werewolves Within.

(28:09):
Everybody in here has playedAmong us, right?
Yeah, ultimate werewolf, or onenight ultimate werewolf.
I know you two losers have Idon't know if murky has yeah, so
it's like that.
But the original is a vr game.
We're all just sitting in withvr headsets.
One of you is the werewolf.
You're trying to figure out whoit is.
Everybody has, like a job toplay.
It's just that in vr.

(28:31):
So the movie version just takesthat concept and they create
their own original characterswith that and you're following
this like park ranger who'sgetting assigned to this one
town because they're trying toput in an oil pipeline and his
job is to basically like makesure that nothing kind of goes

(28:55):
catastrophically wrong to theforest that's there and because
of this oil pipeline getting putin, it's bringing up the
tension with everybody.
So you already got the guythat's trying to put it in.
You already got this woman whoruns like the only bed and
breakfast there.
You got this male person, malecarrier.

(29:19):
You got this very conservativecouple like they come out the
get go, basically being trumpsupporters.
There's no offense or buts aboutit.
Uh, we love that.
Then you have this very overlyflamboyant gay couple which are
at odds with the conservativepeople no shit.

(29:40):
Then you have this absolutelyfucking crazy couple.
Like we're talking, thesepeople would stop you in the
middle of a Walmart and be likedoes my aunt, my wife's ass look
flat to you?
I'm trying to tell her it lookscurvy and you're just standing
there like what the fuck do I do?

Speaker 2 (30:00):
It's like that kind of awkward level of whenever you
just just go, he's lying to youand then walk away so don't
give an answer uh, I'm justgonna cut through a lot of this.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
A lot of attention is built up because that oil
pipeline.
Then they start to believe thatthere is a wolf out there
because something ate theconservative woman's dog and the
power goes out because theyhave a really bad lizard which,
like, has a landslide or a snowslide, whatever you want to call

(30:40):
it.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
That kind of covers up the road takes away was this
in the winter and it was a snowslide.
Yes, yeah, it's called anavalanche, right avalanche.

Speaker 4 (30:52):
Yeah, I quit teaching .
I quit english and english leftmy brain.
Okay, be happy.
I can barely function as ahuman being, so.
So Even the generators get cutlike somebody slashed all the
generators.
A lot of the tensions get high.
A lot of people start pointingfingers at other people.
In the conservative couple, thehusband gets very handsy with

(31:16):
the women.
You also learn that he sleptwith the crazy woman and the
crazy couple, like you know, hadan affair.
So how dare you?
typical conservative man yeaheverybody is pointing fingers at
everybody in this movie becausethey all just hate each other.
They think that somebody's outto ruin something for somebody

(31:39):
else and as the tensions arebuilding, you're trying to
figure out like, oh, who'sreally the werewolf?
Is there really a werewolf?
I mean it's based on a fuckingvr game that has werewolf, so
obviously there is a werewolf.
Uh, and the villagers in thelast like 20, 30 minutes of the

(32:00):
movie is when it really startsgetting good, like it was good
before that, but everybody juststarts fucking killing each
other.
At the end it just goes fuckingballs to the wall.
Like the conservative womanlike stabs one of the gay men in
the neck with like a maple tapto like drain his blood out.
She also shoots the woman whohad an affair with her husband

(32:22):
right in the neck with like amaple tap to like drain his
blood out.
She also shoots the woman whohad an affair with her husband
right in the head and you justsee her brain splatter over a
truck.
It gets nuts.
But I will say, in like thefirst 20 minutes of the movie,
shannon looked over at me andshe was like, oh, do you have
any like suspicions?
Who's the werewolf.

(32:42):
I just randomly picked a me andshe was like oh, do you have
any suspicions?
Who's the werewolf?
I just randomly picked a personand I was right.
I just was like I don't knowthat guy, that person.
They were the wolf.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
I'm very clearly not going to watch this movie.
So who was it?

Speaker 4 (32:56):
It was the male person, they were the werewolf.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
Nobody suspected them .

Speaker 4 (33:02):
Nobody suspected them .
So they were the werewolf.
Hmm, nobody suspected them.
Nobody suspected them.
So what had like the werewolvesplan was they went from like
town to town and like huntedevery single full moon, and they
wanted a job there so that, youknow, they could sustain
themselves until the next fullmoon.
So they had to kill theoriginal male person, because
there was only like one personwho ran the entire post there in

(33:26):
this very small town, which wasthe husband of the woman who
ran the bed and breakfast.
So she did this, so she can getintel on everybody and slowly,
like when she knew it was timeto hunt, bring that pressure up
so that everybody would takecare of each other.
The one thing she didn't expect,though, was the nature ranger

(33:47):
to show up, cause the parkranger was the nicest guy on the
planet Like he only drops likemaybe two F bombs in the whole
movie, but he has to like stopand correct himself and go.
No, I'm an F, I'm an F.
Like he's supposed to be agoody, goody, two shoes to the
very end.
But good movie.
I would recommend WerewolvesWithin.
The shitty movie that I saw,which I was very surprised

(34:10):
critics enjoyed on RottenTomatoes, is a movie called
Alligator from 1980.
What's up with?

Speaker 2 (34:17):
you and finding movies.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
It sounds like it's going to be bad.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
What's up with you and finding movies that are just
about animals?

Speaker 4 (34:22):
I don't know man, uh, I mean eat, interact.
When I started off as a blog, Iused to remove goodness.
I used to review the shittiestmovies I could find at the
dollar tree.
I would go into the dollar tree, I would go to their, like,
blu-ray, dvd section and justtry to find the shittiest movies
possible and just review them.

(34:43):
So I just have a thing for,like that's.
My enjoyment is to watchterrible movies.
But Alligator, it takes placein Missouri.
Of all places, which you know,the Missouri Alligators are
really something.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
Gotta watch out out there.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
Gotta watch out for them.
Alligators in the middle of thecountry so long story short for
alligator.

Speaker 4 (35:13):
The only reason the alligator is there is it starts
with a flashback this littlegirl, her grandparents, get her
a pet alligator at an alligatorlike ranch or whatever they're
called down in Florida alligatorfarm yeah, one of those where
they show like gator wrestling.

Speaker 3 (35:34):
I'd wrestle.

Speaker 4 (35:36):
I'd wrestle real good , I mean as long as you can keep
their jaws shut and you'reholding on to them.
Their death roll is going to belike just a little painful, but
I feel like yeah you're good aslong as you have to knock them
off.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
I feel like all it takes is one little slip up
while you're death rolling andthen your arm isn't there
anymore and then you'reparalyzed, and then you're going
to eat little girl gets thegator, comes home, her dad is
upset.
She has a pet gator, so heflushes it down the toilet yeah,
it's because anything thatdeals with an alligator becomes

(36:09):
a sewer monster.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
Yes, so it's in the sewer are there a bunch of
turtles that fight the alligatordude I had?

Speaker 2 (36:17):
such an adhc thought.
I would love to see a shittymovie that's like Pennywise,
like the clown it, but likesomebody combats it by flushing
an alligator down the toilet.
So you get like Godzilla versusPennywise.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
There's a bunch of gators now.
I'm like, right after it was atevery how many years when it
comes back?
Yeah?
However long, but like itbecomes like it, versus the
alligators or some shit likethat, just like it.
It versus the alligators, orlike that nine foot attack
alligators and fucking sewersanyway, continue on forward.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
We're now following a homicide detective and we meet
him, like adopting a dog that weonly see like two or three
other times in the movie.
Does it get eaten?
No, the dog's actually good.
We never see that dog get eaten.
Uh, and we learned that the pet, like the pet shop owner, is

(37:16):
doing like this dirty job forthis pharmaceutical chemical
company by finding dogs on thestreet for them to experiment
this growth hormone on.
So you can figure out rightthere what happens.
A bunch of weird drama stuffhappens where you learn that he

(37:39):
used to have a partner butsomehow he got tricked with a
roll of pennies to the back ofhis head and had his gun stolen
from him and that gun was usedto, like, shoot his partner.
It's a little.
It's a little weird and,knowing this, he goes into the
sewers with another guy who'sworking as his partner and he

(38:01):
watches this guy get eaten bythe alligator.
So this dude's having a lot ofdifferent trauma.
However, he does hook up withthis herpetologist, which is a
fancy word for somebody thatknows reptiles.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
We have an episode literally called I'm just a
herpetologist or some shit likethat.
Second time I've ever heardthat word pathologist or some
shit like that second time.

Speaker 4 (38:24):
I've ever heard that word this woman is young enough
to be this dude's daughter, likestraight up, no offense or
butts.
He's able to hook up with herbecause they're the two heroes
of the movie.
But there's this one scenewhich is like the big climax for
the alligator, because you knowthat alligator's going around,

(38:46):
he's eating people.
Nobody believes the homicidedetective until the alligator
bursts out onto the street andhe's like, hey, I'm a fucking
alligator, I'm a Chris.

Speaker 3 (38:54):
Pratt as an alligator welcome to missouri country
shit.

Speaker 4 (39:03):
So the two people that were creating that growth
hormone chemical.
They're at a wedding at theowner's estate because, like the
lead scientist, he's gettingmarried that day and the dude
who owns the plant is throwingit at his gigantic mansion.
The alligator burst out intothis wedding and he grabs one of

(39:26):
the maids who's like walkingaround this wedding and he's
like just tossing around like adog with a toy and that's all he
does.
He just walks around, he justlike starts biting on people and
then eventually he gets up tothe mayor who's trying to get in
a car with that like thechemical ceo dude and the ceo
locks him out of a car.
So the alligator grabs themayor and just like starts

(39:49):
throwing him against the car andthen throws him off to the side
and then crushes the car downuntil the dude dies inside bro,
this just sounds like the exactsame thing that happened in
cocaine bear, where it was like,where it was like way too much
plot and then one scene of justfuck everything but it ends with

(40:11):
the homicide detective who,like jerry, rigged his own like
c4 with a bunch of dynamite andthis fake bomb radio.
He got off of this dude who wasthreatening to blow himself up
earlier in the movie so he likesticks that to the wall.
He gets the alligator to likecome up to him and he's trying

(40:32):
to get out of the uh, the sewer.
Then there's some tensionbecause this old lady parks
right on top of the manholecover in the last six seconds,
with the worst fucking editingI've ever seen, because it's
done in literal seconds, becauseit's like shot of the manhole
cover in the last six seconds,with the worst fucking editing
I've ever seen, because it'sdone in literal seconds, because
it's like shot of the cameragoing from six seconds to five
seconds.
Then it's a second of this dudecoming out.
Then it comes back.

(40:53):
So it's like shot second,second, second, and he's slowly
coming out and then eventuallyboom, you see the alligator's
head explode.
And do you know how thisfucking movie ends before the
credits roll?
he gets laid in the middle ofthe street no there's another
crocodile there's anotheralligator that gets flushed down

(41:15):
into the.
Missouri sewers fuck.
Now here's the big question,boys do you think this movie has
a sequel?
Absolutely it does, but do youknow how long it took them to
make this fucking sequel?
Now here's the big questionboys.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Do you think this movie has a?

Speaker 4 (41:28):
sequel?
Absolutely it does.
But do you know how long ittook them to make this fucking
sequel?
Not long enough 11 years, Wow.
The sequel didn't come outuntil 1991.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
Why?
And from what I've heard, whenwas the original.

Speaker 4 (41:40):
The original came out in 1980.
So it took them 11 years to doa sequel.
However, I heard that thesequel is worse than the
original there's only down,there's no up.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
I mean, I feel like there's up, I feel like there
could have been up.
Sharknado is nothing but down,and any movie that's super
shitty, that has a sequel, onlycan go down.

Speaker 4 (42:07):
I mean it was already at the bottom to begin with.
However, it received so muchlove for being that bad that it,
like, elevated the first one,and then it was down from there,
kind of like trolls you know,I've only ever seen the first.
Oh wait, are you talking aboutlike trolls one and trolls two,
where trolls two is aboutgoblins?

(42:27):
Yes, I thought you're talkingabout like the animated like
trolls movie with, uh, justintimberlake no, I've never seen
that either oh, I don't know why.
That's what my mind went to.
Trolls two is a fuckingnational treasure.
You, heathen, how dare you talkbad about it?
Oh no, they're eating her andthen they're gonna eat me.
Oh my god, and just zoom in how?

(42:52):
That dude didn't know he had afly on his face.
As that camera zooming in onhim is beyond me that movie was
wicked bad.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
I remember being able to watch it on Hulu when Hulu
was free.
You guys remember when Hulu wasfree?

Speaker 2 (43:10):
I do, we're old we are old somebody listening to
this podcast in like 10 years isgoing to be like.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
Hulu was free at one point.
I don't know anyways.

Speaker 4 (43:23):
So yeah, one of my past times is definitely trying
to uh find bad movies it is.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
I don't know why I get an enjoyment out of it, yeah
but I think it's enjoyable ifyou can sit there and talk to
like another human being aboutit, about how bad it is krista
came home from, uh, mrs houseand she was like, yeah, uh, so
we watched this like prettyterrible horror movie and, um,

(43:53):
it was pretty fun and I was likeI bet he picked out the movie
and she's like I think he did.
I was like he loves terrible,like slasher horror movies.

Speaker 4 (44:04):
I'm an absolute slut for them.
I'm a slut for like any badhorror movie.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Let's be real, I'm a slut for bad horror.

Speaker 4 (44:12):
Me too.
Even video game bad horror, I'mstill down for it, unless it's
like one of those they just keepthrowing things at you and just
making the audio so loud italmost peaks.
Yeah, yeah, that's bad horror.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
Like terrible horror that's why we gotta make
nippleless cage you know what?

Speaker 4 (44:34):
I'm sure there is some producer out there that
would put money down on thatidea and be like have fun boys.
So all we would need is just afew cameras, a script that coco
will probably make with ai andhave me edit, for some reason we
can't make it with ai.
There's a writer's strike.
No, no, there's no writer'sstrike anymore, there's a voice

(44:58):
actor.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure thewriter's strike was resolved by
saying stuff's not going to bewritten with AI to be perfectly
fair.

Speaker 3 (45:06):
We need a giant sword for Zeno's pants.

Speaker 4 (45:09):
However, there is a movie that was supposed to come
out to theaters that was writtenby AI, but it got so much
backlash that it's only comingto streaming now.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
Oh, I can't imagine.

Speaker 4 (45:20):
And the dude was like sucking his own dick about it,
where he's like, yeah, I showedit to my actors and they were
like, oh my god, the script isso amazing and it's so heartfelt
.
It's like no, all right, I betyou fucking anything.
If I watch this shitty movie,it's probably going to be the

(45:42):
most incoherent babblingbullshit I've ever heard in my
life, because it's supposed tobe about like one of the last
movie writers on earth and hecomes across like a writing
program that like writes thescripts for him wait.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
So he had an ai write a story about an AI writing a
story.
Yes, what a fucking idiot.
Why didn't you just put acamera behind you while you did
it and call that the fuckingmovie?

Speaker 4 (46:10):
I don't know man.
It's going to save you a lot oftime.
If I have to pay to watch thatmovie, though, absolutely the
fuck not.
I want to see that shit forfree because that's the amount
of attention it needs to get forme.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
I can sit in a chair with my phone and barely pay
attention.

Speaker 4 (46:29):
What'd you say?

Speaker 1 (46:29):
about waffle fries.
I want some waffle fries.
Anyone some waffle fries?

Speaker 4 (46:32):
do you see that chick-fil-a is doing regular
flat fries for a little bit?
Get the fuck out how would theydo?

Speaker 2 (46:37):
that I don't think they're a permanent staple.

Speaker 4 (46:39):
I think they're just trying it out why would they do
that?

Speaker 2 (46:41):
I don't think they're a permanent staple.
I think they're just trying itout.
Why would they do that?
I don't know.
Chick-fil-a has waffle fries.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
You know what, instead of trying fucking a new
type of fry, I got an idea howyou can make a lot more money.
Open on fucking Sunday.

Speaker 4 (46:58):
That's God's day.
You fucking idiot.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
I don't give a shit.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
I don't give a shit.
I don't give a shit.
I want Chick-fil-A on a fuckingSunday.
Eat my dick.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
You know I don't want to support Chick-fil-A because
of some of the stuff that theylike.
Pull to the LBGTQIA pluscommunity because I have friends
in that community.
But yeah, they're just notgonna get my money.
I'm gonna go to the godlessteathens of uh, raisin canes

(47:33):
they're or popeyes.
Oh, fucking pop.
Fucking love their chickentenders though he's just saying
words over here.

Speaker 3 (47:42):
Bye-bye, Bye-bye.
My stomach is full.
My original idea was I was justme and Zeno or Zeno came up
with the idea Definitely wasn'tme that I was just gonna get
really, really full on chickennuggets and fruit by the foot
and just make really loudobnoxious noises in the
background, while being full andact like I didn't what are you

(48:05):
fucking talking about?
I was gonna stuff myself.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
Has your last brain cell just went, did your last
brain cell just give out likewhat the fuck?
The fuck has happened.

Speaker 4 (48:20):
I need Zeno he's already had a few Jack and Co
Zeno he mentioned your name.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
Do you know anything about what he just said?
Absolutely yes.
Can you explain it to us?

Speaker 1 (48:31):
What he was going to do here is he was going to eat a
bunch of food and drink a bunchof drink, and to the point of
being uncomfortable, as Perkydoes, right, he was just going
to make point of beinguncomfortable, as murky does,
right, and he was just gonnamake noises of being
uncomfortable throughout thepodcast and whenever anyone was
going to comment on it, he wassimply just going to ignore it

(48:53):
and act like he didn't hear it,but then just continue to make
noises, just randomly throughoutthe podcast.
No explanation of what he wasgoing to do.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
I haven't got full enough.
I need a big old glass of milkJust go get a big old glass of
milk right now.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
Go drink until you can't drink anymore.
I don't want to.
You're the milk slut.
He's the milk man.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
Milk slut, milk slut.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
Milk slut.

Speaker 4 (49:25):
So here is some ideas that I have written down when I
was out of power at myapartment on Game Breaker ideas
that I've had.
One of them we've already done,which is to make that noise.
I know the camera is makingthat too bright.
There we go, all right.
So some ideas that I've had wasmurder mystery.

(49:48):
I said that I would need to getseveral guests for this one,
but I get murdered.
Contestants would have tofigure out which one of the
guests that came aboard did themurder.
It was switch.
I would make that noise bad D&D.
I would give you guys terribleprompts and you would have to
roll and see how that acted out.

(50:10):
You could only be yourselves,so I could only be me.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
Correct, there would be, that would be Coco where you
would only get points if you'reable to do what I said got it
okay

Speaker 4 (50:30):
you're telling us all of your ideas.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
Is this going to impact future episodes?

Speaker 4 (50:35):
oh no, because I'm bringing this over to like eat
under rack stuff and some of youfuckers aren't going to be a
part of that oh, interesting,very nice, I want to be a part
of it.
Oh, interesting that's not verynice what if I want to be a part
of it.
I mean some of these youprobably will be Plus.
I'm not giving away the rules,I'm just saying general

(50:55):
categories.
I'm sure Xena will rememberthis, but I have a feeling these
other two aren't going toremember it.
Nick Arcade set something upsimilar to that.
Or am I the only old fart herethat remembers Nick Arcade?
I don't remember Nick Arcade arewe talking about Nickelodeon
yes, it was a show onNickelodeon called Nick Arcade a

(51:20):
drawing challenge.
Get like three people thatactually know how to draw and
they would have like so muchtime to actually A drawing
challenge.
Get like three people thatactually know how to draw and
they would have like so muchtime to actually attempt to draw
the thing that's on the prompt.
But you know, they start offeasy, get ludicrous as they go.
On Menu challenge, where I showlike a dish of some kind and

(51:41):
the person who's the closest atguessing what's on the recipe
gets it.
Probably find some people thatare enjoy cooking or whatever.
And the three wise monkeyschallenge, where I get three
people.
Get them on chain together.
One person wears a blindfold,one person has to deafen on

(52:02):
discord, one person has to muteon discord and they essentially
just have to try to get as highas they can on chain together
and then, after so much time, werecord however high up they got
, everybody switches.
So a new person's now muted,new person's now deafened, new
person has a blindfold and thensee which run they can get the

(52:24):
highest.
And there we go.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
That sounds awful.

Speaker 4 (52:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:32):
It's not.

Speaker 4 (52:36):
Those are just some ideas.
Those aren't like.
Who knows, game breaker willprobably die and never come back
.
Game breaker might become aneven rack thing, who knows?

Speaker 2 (52:46):
I liked.
I liked it when we did thosetwo.
I want more on the podcast, butI don't want to make you do
more work.

Speaker 4 (52:52):
I mean, I just gotta, I gotta hit that inspiration.

Speaker 2 (52:56):
I'm gonna hit you on the butt with my face oh, oh, my
oh, I just found anotherfour-player co-op game.

Speaker 4 (53:05):
I'll drop it in the ADHD After Dark group.
Where are we there?
We are.
It's called Forsake when horrormeets urbex.
I don't know what that means.
Is urbex a place't know whatthat means.
Is urbex a place?

Speaker 2 (53:25):
is it like trying to say, like something urban, hang
on, I'm searching this up yeah,I'm googling that word too
apparently abandoned places nearme.

Speaker 4 (53:38):
Urban exploration oh yeah, that also popped up for me
urbexology, so urbanexploration.
Oh yeah, that also popped upfor me, urbexology, so urban
exploration.
Horror meets urban exploration,essentially.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
So when horror meets, exploring abandoned places,
Isn't that like most horrorgames anyways?
They literally just put that inthere as like a catchphrase.
Well, hey, look at this urbex,you can explore the abandoned
fucking catacombs.
Yeah, sounds like a place.

Speaker 4 (54:13):
Stream 38.
I'm in the fucking abandonedcatacombs.
I'm played by chris pratt.
Now I'm gonna show you chrispratt.
What would you guys do if oneday we started up the podcast
and Zeno wasn't there on thecamera, but it was Chris Pratt
Pretending to be Zeno?

Speaker 1 (54:32):
Hey, I'm Zeno so fun fact.
Either one of two.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
Either one of two things would happen for all of
us.
We would all freak the fuck outthat Chris Pratt was there, or
probably the more likelyscenario we would all freak the
fuck out that Chris Pratt wasthere, or probably the more
likely scenario we would justignore that it was Chris Pratt
and do the whole podcast as ifit was Zeno after he did the.
Hey, it's me, I'm Chris Prattis Zeno.
And then at the end we wouldfreak out but, like after we hit

(54:58):
, stop recording.
I think that is more likely.
I feel like if you start a bit,you have to keep with the bit
yeah, if he, if he did it and wejust started saying he was you
know, I'd have to stay with itthe whole podcast I feel like if
, uh, you know, stream 38'scamera came on first, prayer was
sitting in that I'd be likeholy fucking fucked now here's
the question is murky soberduring this?

Speaker 1 (55:21):
if murky's drunk, he'd be like, hey, what's up is
he drunk or is he high?

Speaker 2 (55:26):
that's the question our goal would be to make murky
believe that it didn't happen.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
You're not fucking xeno.
Who the fuck are you?

Speaker 4 (55:34):
who the fuck's xeno?

Speaker 1 (55:36):
who the fuck are you?

Speaker 4 (55:37):
where is he?

Speaker 1 (55:39):
I'm gonna call him right now and tell him that
somebody stole his identity.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
Spoiler Chris Pratt has a cell phone too serious,
fucking serious fucking crime,chris Pratt.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
What are you doing to me, chris Pratt?

Speaker 2 (56:00):
what are you doing to Chris Pratt?

Speaker 1 (56:02):
Chris Pratt what are you doing to Chris Pratt?

Speaker 2 (56:04):
Chris Pratt, please join so what happens to Zeno
doing this?

Speaker 3 (56:10):
did Chris Pratt kill him or I hope so Switch's camera
turns on and Zeno and thoughtswith his camera.

Speaker 4 (56:18):
I would fucking die and Switch has actually been
Chris Pratt the whole time.
The photos of the person he'sbeen sending us on snapchat.
That's been his assistant thiswhole time chris pratt now he's
gone he's gone.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
We can only get him for so long yeah, we have a very
does that mean we've seen chrispratt's ass?

Speaker 4 (56:41):
probably we've seen chris pratt's ass twice then
yeah, first time I'm sure he'salso shown in movies before too,
so you probably we had aprivate showing true, I mean
yeah, dnd we're gonna start thatback up at some point yeah, we

Speaker 1 (56:59):
do?

Speaker 4 (57:00):
I'll start you back up at some point no, really, you
don't need to start him back up.
He's already started up everyday you're right.

Speaker 1 (57:07):
Oh, you're dicking my ass see you're right, it's been
a while since

Speaker 2 (57:12):
I brought out the soundboard.
It's been a while it's been awhile I agree I don't know why
that one's so funny.

Speaker 4 (57:21):
I don't know Farts are just funny it doesn't matter
your age.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
It's a very comical fart.

Speaker 4 (57:26):
I made that noise with my hands.

Speaker 2 (57:28):
You did, you did.

Speaker 4 (57:33):
Switch made that one with his balls.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Is that why Lena doesn't like it when you make
that sound anymore?

Speaker 4 (57:40):
Probably.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
That wouldn't sound like the first time you went sex
switch.
As it was going in, it wentdoo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, and
then when you pulled out, itwent doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
Oh no, oh, what you doing there, zeno?
You look really focused.
He's playing.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
Destiny.
I was playing a card game, butthen the first person I went
against with my heroicswordcraft deck that he just
made uh forfeited on.
Turn like four, oh so did youmake him cry?
get another match I did make himcry.
So heroic swordcraft plays verydifferently.
Uh, in this game it seems likeuh, he can vouch for this, like

(58:25):
a marrow is usually a two costsummon, uh, but he's a one cost
summon, but he comes in as a one, two and his fanfare is that if
there's other heroics, he getsa plus one to attack for every
heroic on the field.
Um, valiant has no evolvedrestriction, but he's a four
cost instead of a three cost andhe has, like, two attack, three

(58:48):
defense, but on fanfare youdraw cards until you have seven
cards and then any cards in yourhand that are heroics, uh,
cause zero play points until theend of the turn to play okay so
like if you just had a full fanof fucking Mach Knights, you
could play them for zero playpoints and just absolutely wreck
face.

(59:11):
And that's what you did.
Mach Knights still comes in.
No, I didn't, I didn't know,that's what Valiant did when I
got to it I did fuck face,though I had a full board in,
like the sexy way or in the ooh,that's gotta hurt kind of way.
The ooh that's gotta hurt kindof way.
Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Blood on your dick after you were done.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Yeah, absolutely Blood in my dick too.

Speaker 4 (59:38):
Oh, I mean technically yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
It's fucking weird oh my god, it's Chris Pratt.
Oh, my god, is that?

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Chris Pratt.

Speaker 1 (59:49):
Did you really just go?

Speaker 3 (59:50):
and print a picture of fucking Chris Pratt.

Speaker 4 (59:55):
No, no, no, that's not Swiss, that's fucking Chris
Pratt Gabagool.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
I need you to unmute and go into me and Chris Pratt
and switch Gabagool.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
That was beautiful.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
It's got to be a canon event yeah, I can't
believe he went off and printeda picture of Chris Pratt.

Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
A full color picture of Chris.

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
Pratt's face.
That was pretty fuckinghilarious.
You know he went to go printthat and he's like I need a
fucking picture of Chris Prattfor reasons.
Print, print.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Print man this.

Speaker 4 (01:00:36):
only this makes me wish that we still uploaded this
video footage somewhere yeah,because none of you fuckers
subscribe to the fans leave,which, by the way, we got an
email from fans lee on our adhdafter dark gmail typos
everywhere.
That's unfortunate.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
I mean, it makes sense you would expect, even in
the headliner.

Speaker 4 (01:00:58):
They couldn't even spell summertime correctly.
How'd they spell it they?

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
spelled it without an r they spelled instead of a?

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
u, they used two o's summertime, summertime,
summertime jesus christ Sumertime, sumer time.
Jesus Christ, sumer time.

Speaker 4 (01:01:16):
But I hate to say it.
I mean on like fansly and onlyfans.
You probably don't need to bethe most grammatically correct.

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
People aren't looking at the spelling.
They're looking to see if youspell the words with the boots.

Speaker 3 (01:01:29):
That's like asking if you watched the first fucking
ten minutes Right?
Did you watch the girl stealthe lemons or not?

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
I actually did, because that's all we were shown
yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:01:44):
I mean we weren't shown the rest of it, because
that's when the porn starts.
I forgot about that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
You did yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
You guys down for Doppler radar porn.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
I'd rather watch the fucking Doppler radar, did you?

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
say Doppler radar porn.

Speaker 3 (01:02:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Let's see if that exists.

Speaker 4 (01:02:06):
Oh, it absolutely does, wouldn't surprise me if
there was something.

Speaker 3 (01:02:08):
It's got to be more like another person, or shit.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
Right, that's what I was thinking.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
Okay, hang on Images All more like another person or
shit.
Right, that's what I wasthinking.
Okay, hang on images, all right.
Uh, let's see, do I have safesearch on or off?
probably off how do I turn safesearch?
What's the thing I do again forthat?
Oh my god, safe search, oh it'soff.
Uh, fun fact it, it does take awhile.

(01:02:35):
The first thing and the firstthing porn related on google
search images.
Um, when you search for dopplerradar porn is a picture of a
headline that says child porn.
Oh, um, that's, that's not agood thing.
That's the only thing thatthere's Donald Trump.

(01:02:56):
Surprisingly, there is not any.

Speaker 3 (01:03:07):
It's an untapped market, guys.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
It's an untapped market Doppler, let me put
Doppler weather.
Oh, weather radar marketDoppler, let me put Doppler
weather weather.
No, oh no.
Local weather report.

Speaker 4 (01:03:24):
accidentally broadcast porn instead oh, that
was like when that onegovernment was having a Zoom
meeting.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
Look at this picture Look at this picture.
And put it in the ADHD afterdark chat.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Oh no, what did they do?

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
They had up the weather and then on the other
Monitor there's apparently justPorn in the background.

Speaker 4 (01:03:56):
You can see the blurred out part there oh no, oh
no.
Look at her face too, like sheknows something's Up, but she's
like trying not to drawAttention to it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
She's like, hey, can we not have?

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
porn Up.
Let's see if I have video.
Fucking cut to a commercial,she's like, hey, can we not have
porn up?
Let's see if I have video.

Speaker 1 (01:04:17):
I fucking told him Barry was a goddamn pervert.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Wait, is there video for this?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Ineed to.

Speaker 1 (01:04:29):
What was that noise it?

Speaker 3 (01:04:30):
was King giving me the headbutts?

Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
Oh no, oh no, it's bad, it's not even fucking.
Like Okay, like it's anaccident, like, hey God, hey God
, you guys all need to watch myscreen right now.
All right, hold on, let me knowwhenever you guys are all ready

(01:04:54):
oh, what stream okay, I'm onthat hold on, he's gotta get his
comfort cat yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:03):
I'm there gotta get his what his comfort kitty.

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
It's like not even fucking.

Speaker 4 (01:05:09):
This is fucking bad oh my god oh my god, how did

(01:05:30):
nobody catch that how did nobodycatch that?
There's multiple people workingat fucking work and nobody
catch that?
How did nobody catch that?
Oh no, there's multiple peopleworking at fucking work, nobody
caught that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:38):
The media crew is fucking rambling in that moment.

Speaker 4 (01:05:42):
Who's Bluetooth in TV ?

Speaker 3 (01:05:44):
Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck, fuck.

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
He's in the bathroom.
Can you imagine watching yourfucking local weather radar
coverage and you're like it'sgoing to be a little wet this
weekend and it's that.
That's the fucking video.

Speaker 4 (01:05:58):
That's sister porn right up there.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
I was not expecting it to be just like, oh okay.

Speaker 4 (01:06:06):
No, I wasn't expecting that either.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
I was expecting it to be like the opening of a porno
with, like somebody just kind ofnaked.
Not just like oh'm a not likethis.
I'm going to fucking besleeping and you're going to
start having sex with me whileI'm asleep, and then I'll wake
up and be okay with it.
Porn, oh god.
Well then.

(01:06:29):
So I don't know that Dopplerweather porn could compete with
what I just watched there.
That is, that is a blunder.

Speaker 3 (01:06:37):
It had weather and I guess it did have porn.

Speaker 4 (01:06:41):
Yeah, like it had everything Merck was asking
about.

Speaker 3 (01:06:45):
I guess there was no Doppler.
There was no Doppler oranything.

Speaker 4 (01:06:49):
I mean Doppler was used right.

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
Something was going to get used, but I don't know if
it was the Doppler at usedright.
Something was going to get used, but I don't know if it was the
Doppler at that time.

Speaker 2 (01:06:59):
You know, somebody got fired for that, but that
also means that somebody wasusing a work computer to watch
porn In a computer that washooked up to the media streaming
thing, which probably isn't avery private computer.
So that's whenever you go oops,wrong tab.

(01:07:19):
I meant to show you the weatherforecast, not what I'm actually
watching while the news ishappening.
The reason nobody caught it isbecause the reason nobody caught
it is because the dude was busywatching that video while they
were streaming it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:42):
Oh, it's bad.

Speaker 4 (01:07:46):
When's our last episode of the season going to
be, because I know we talkedabout that.

Speaker 3 (01:07:51):
It's only supposed to be the worst season ever, so I
mean, this would be, this couldcut it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
I mean we could always try next week and then
cut it for the year and thenstart back again in January.
Give us some time to havestories and stuff built up,
because it's only August.
Yeah, I mean it's only August,which is why it's a little early
like we could give you like aHalloween and a Christmas.
It's only August, yeah, I mean,it's only August, which is why
it's a little early, like wecould easily, we could give you,
like a Halloween and aChristmas, special Something

(01:08:18):
like that.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
I feel like we at least owe a Halloween special,
you know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:24):
Yeah, so we'll figure it out.
I guess that means we're endingthe podcast right now.

Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
I don't know, I just work here.
You don't get paid.
I don't know, I just work here.

Speaker 2 (01:08:35):
You don't get paid.
You don't get paid.
No, I'm the only one that getspaid because my credit card is
the one that's being fuckingcharged.
I guess this is goodbye, untilnext week maybe or until
Halloween.

Speaker 4 (01:08:54):
Whatever we fucking feel like making another podcast
chris pratt is switch gabagool.