S4 E1: Kum Kakes

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Ever wondered what happens when you mix family chaos, unconventional anniversaries, and a touch of vodka? Let’s just say it’s as unpredictable as a morning grooming mishap that leaves you looking like a hairless wonder. This kickoff to Season 3 starts with the hilarity of juggling family FaceTime calls during a grocery run and segues into the light-hearted celebration of a "deafiversary," proving that humor is the best companion for life’s toughest moments. We even ponder the unlikely pairing of Wolverine and an X-Men 3 t-shirt – because why not add a dash of superhero flair to the mix?

But hold onto your MRI machine – things take an unexpected twist when a woman discovers the shocking effects of bringing a butt plug into a scan room, only to realize it's not entirely silicone. Picture the magnetic mayhem and the awkward explanations to follow, all wrapped in a layer of dark humor that will leave you wide-eyed and chuckling. If that’s not enough, we share tales of public escapades involving unconventional accessories, blending disbelief with laughter in a way that only we can.

As the journey unfolds, we stumble into the realm of quirky subcultures, from furries and their fursonas to TikTok's book fandom and a cat hilariously high on catnip. The stereotypes are as amusing as a Venn diagram about furries' interests, and our reflections on conventions provide both humor and insight into these unique communities. Add some digital mischief and a dash of holiday-themed dark humor, and you've got a whirlwind of topics that promise to entertain and provoke thought in equal measure.

Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're yelling.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Go Murky.
Yeah, we're live, we'rerecording.
We're here Season 3, episode 1.
I pooped in the corner, did you?
Murky's celebrating ananniversary.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
Actually me and Murky are both celebrating an
anniversary.

Speaker 5 (00:21):
Yeah, same.
I was going to go to the storeand get some chicken broth so we
could finish, so we could dodinner last night, of course,
and my sister decided to start afacetime call right as I'm
about to walk out the door.
I'm like fuck.
So I grabbed my phone, joinedin facetime and it's her and her

(00:43):
fiance, Me and my fiance and mysister-in-law and we're waiting
on my brother and just waitingand waiting or sitting there
talking.
I'm like I got my jacket on, Igot my shoes on.
Like the truck is running,let's fucking move this along
here.
They're like oh, let's all do ashot for mom.
I was like, well, so I justgrabbed the bottle.

(01:03):
It's Angel's Envy that Miz gaveme, actually for my birthday
last year.
So I took the top off that andpoured myself a shot and I was
like I'm ready, let's do it.
And they just keep making smalltalk.
I'm like fuck.
So eventually we're likealright, well, my brother's not
coming, he must still be at work.
Let's all take this shot.

(01:24):
So we take shot.
All right, Love you mom,whatever, I love you guys.
Later Hang up the phone 15seconds later because I had
taken my jacket off.
I put my jacket back on and myphone's going off again to join
back on the FaceTime.
Call everybody.
My brother's like yeah, I'mlike five minutes from the bar.

(01:45):
I'm like I hate it.
I fucking hate it here so much.
So we waited.
He got to the bar, took anothershot and I'm like fucking great
, Thank God.
Now I'm buzzed to go to thefucking corner store to grab
chicken broth.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
You're not American if you're not buzzed up at the
corner store, though.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Stupid.
What did your sister say theother day to you?

Speaker 1 (02:09):
oh uh, she she.

Speaker 5 (02:14):
She sent a group text yesterday morning and said
happy deafiversary everybody.
We should all get together andmake sure we can have like you
know, we should get dinnertogether or something like
friday, because that's when mybrother gets back in town, and I
just thought happy deathanniversary was a interesting

(02:35):
term your family takes it sowell, murky, hey, hey, we're
rolling it oh it's all thealcohol helps cope.
My sister just took a shot ofstraight vodka and I'm like who
does that?
Russians, I've done straightvodka.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
I've done a shot of straight vodka.
It's pretty good.
Willingly, do you want to do it?
It was really good, was it?

Speaker 3 (02:59):
whipped cream vodka.
No, it was just fucking vodka.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
It was probably the expensive stuff because it was
rich white people giving mevodka, so it probably tasted
pretty good.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
I wouldn't know what that's like oh my god, there's
boobs.

Speaker 4 (03:15):
Murky's face.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Fucking crazy.

Speaker 6 (03:24):
So E the story about somebody holy fuck e beardless
yeah, it was a complete accidentbecause I put on the wrong
trimmer and didn't realizebecause I had, like, just woken
up, went to the bathroom, putthe uh, the guard on the trimmer
which looks identical to likemy close bodyguard for the
trimmer, and just went noticehalf my mustache was gone and I

(03:48):
was like well fuck.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
So what actually happened is, I had shaved my
balls right before that anddidn't take the card.

Speaker 6 (03:58):
God damn it.
I knew it.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Oh shit, um speaking of weird stories, uh, uh, e you
want to explain?

Speaker 6 (04:11):
yes, so I heard this story and looked it up.
It's completely true and it'smessed up and I'm surprised this
woman didn't die.
So here's a question foreverybody in this chat uh, and
listeners, be it at home, work,wherever the fuck you're
listening we know we know you'renot listening to it at work we

(04:33):
know you far huh you've donethis
before you've done this beforebut what are you not supposed to
have around?
An MRI machine, anything metal,correct.
Anything that is a magneticmetal.
Because people can you knowwhat we're going to give?
Three points to Coco.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
I guess if it's aluminum it wouldn't matter.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
I mean, don't they still?
Isn't that why they usetitanium and stuff in legs?
Because people can still getMRIs and stuff.

Speaker 6 (05:01):
I believe.
So I'm not 100% sure, but I'malso not.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
If you have a titanium rod in your leg, you
can still get an mri, becauseit's not gonna shoot out of you,
because it's not like magneticlike fucking wolverine yeah you
go into the fucking, it justgoes oh, that was my arm.

Speaker 5 (05:19):
And it turns into jelly speaking of wolverine nice
, uh, x-men 3 t-shirt though,and it turns into jelly, and it
turns into jelly.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
Speaking of Wolverine , nice X-Men 3 t-shirt though.

Speaker 6 (05:29):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 5 (05:30):
That is nice.

Speaker 6 (05:32):
So there was this woman.
If I remember correctly, shewas young 20s when I was reading
the story.
That sounds about right.
Was she from Florida I don'tremember the state Did she have
a hoo-ha piercing?
She had a butt plug in.
She went oh yeah, and she had abutt plug in.

(05:55):
However, she thought it wascompletely silicone so she was
gonna get her rocks off whilebeing inside the mri machine.
Now I've heard people will justwalk around and have butt plugs
in, like I heard the chance ofyou just like being in a crowded
place.
There's like, I think, lessthan a 10 chance that at least

(06:17):
one person has a butt plug inaround you yeah, I mean there's
but less than 10 chance that ourwork, that somebody has a butt
plug.
Oh, I'm almost 90% sure it'sRyan, but no way, it's Zeno.
Zeno's too vanilla.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
He won't even let me kiss him.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
I do like tails.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
Yeah, he's into tails .
You know how tails attach buttplugs.

Speaker 6 (06:49):
It do be butt plugs or tape so, uh, but this one's
well, I mean that is like it'salmost instantly means like
backdoor access, you know it'slike I wish murky would put in a
tail for me, but he won't do it, he won't.

Speaker 5 (07:02):
you'd lose it forever in the cheeks, that's true.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
I'd have to get him the extra long tail, because a
normal tail is like way biggerbutt, fuck.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Yeah, did you know that he modeled Venom's ass off
of him.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, and Susan Storm , it's not that other chick
that's circling the internet,it's Murky's ass.

Speaker 5 (07:27):
I went to a con where they let you make fucking uh
like henta voices for them andshit, and they're just like can
we, can we put some of theselike little uh probes on your
butt?
I was like how much you gonnapay me?
And they're like here's ticketsfor tomorrow and I was like
I'll be out of town.
But yes, I won't be here but Iwill take those tickets I sold
them outside later for a pack ofsix and five dollars.

(07:49):
I believe that yeah, I won.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
A win is a win, a win is a win, yeah, anyways anyways
.

Speaker 6 (07:56):
Uh, that butt plug was not 100 silicone, because
most will have like either apiece of plastic or a little
tiny piece of metal to kind ofkeep things stabilized, so that
way metal core.

Speaker 5 (08:09):
Yeah, so she did not get her rocks off she went in
head first.

Speaker 6 (08:16):
That machine went on.
It went from her rectum up toher chest and she almost went
ass to mouth anyone want toguess how fast that butt plug
went?

Speaker 1 (08:31):
the speed of blank real quick the speed of
magnetism and it made me thinkof you guys.
Ever read Gary Oak Twitter?
Yes, I remember that, it'sfucking hilarious.
And one that I remember fondlyis he's posted made a porno with
the redhead chick from uh teamrocket gonna call it ass to

(08:56):
meowth that's funny, yeah butanyways, shot like a bullet
through her organs speed ofsound.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
You're absolutely right.

Speaker 6 (09:08):
It was no shit you know I was like no way.
That's how fast it went fromher anus all the way up to her
chest and somehow she survivedhow many organs did?

Speaker 1 (09:19):
it rip through, yeah I was gonna say it had to have
like punctured.

Speaker 6 (09:22):
Yes, it said it punctured through several organs
, but it didn't really specifywhich ones in the it was just
all of them.

Speaker 4 (09:32):
I can't imagine you would be able to process what
really happened.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
I'm pretty sure the MRI team saw something
catastrophic.
They saw it happen in real time.
They probably did.
They were looking at the MRIand they were like she's got a
hole in everything.
Something catastrophic.
They saw it happen in real time.
They probably were looking atthe MRI and they were like she's
got a hole in every fuckingchest.

Speaker 5 (09:52):
Why does her?

Speaker 2 (09:53):
stomach, liver and intestines all have a hole in
them.
And also, why is her intestinesnow next to her heart?
It's mother daddy.

Speaker 4 (10:04):
I don't like that.
It's mother hi daddy

Speaker 6 (10:07):
that's not what she said you gotta go and say that I
did say it's mother, mother butuh, yeah, yeah, that was a
interesting thing to read todayand like at first I just thought
it was just going to be pulledout of her butt and it was going
to be like a tee-hee sort ofstory.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
If she went and asked first that's what would have
happened.

Speaker 6 (10:31):
Yeah probably, oh, absolutely, or I would hope so.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
Or it could have shot through her pelvis.

Speaker 6 (10:39):
But yeah, no, just to read that.
Yeah, no, it shot straight upinto her chest.
My jaw was on the floor.
That is pretty crazy.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
Do you think, when it punctured her lungs, she could
smell her own ass?

Speaker 2 (10:54):
Maybe briefly.
I'm pretty sure she might havejust been instantly unconscious
from the sheer amount of painthat she probably just felt.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Maybe I mean Because I imagine I would take your body
a little bit of time to processthe pain.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah, you're not going to smell it, that's for
sure.
Your brain's going toimmediately throw out that sense
.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, it's going to be like a bad thing happening,
don't know why.
Where come from inside.
Oh no, she's lucky.
It didn't like shoot into herchest and then out her chest.

Speaker 6 (11:33):
Like she's lucky didn't hit her heart.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah.
It's like come through like aspeeding bullet.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Yeah, she would have been.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Imagine having to explain that to people then too.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Could you imagine like she came in for a routine
surgery and or routine likething and somebody drove her and
then they have to go out andexplain that she had passed away
in the mri machine because abutt plug shot her heart because
a butt plug shot her heart Iwould actually love to be that
doctor I don't know.

(12:03):
I don't know like honey, you'renot gonna fucking believe what
happened at work today like yeah, but imagine having to go tell
like the family that's waitingfor her to come out alive he'd
have to be like.
So yeah, we took your daughterfor an MRI.

Speaker 5 (12:19):
I signed this paper that she didn't have anything
metallic.
She did sign this paper thatshe didn't have anything
metallic.
She did sign this paper thatshe didn't have anything
metallic in her.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
Well, unfortunately that wasn't true.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
The lie detector test determines that was a lie.
She's no longer with us.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Cause of death Her heart is now a butt plug.
Her heart is now a butt plug.

Speaker 5 (12:39):
The ultimate penetration ripped through your
intestines into your chest.
What?

Speaker 2 (12:43):
would you go through your mind if you heard that like
maybe the butt plug?

Speaker 6 (12:48):
if it went for that.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
No, no, no like if you heard, if you heard that,
that your uh like daughter diedbecause she had a butt plug in
an MRI machine and it fuckingpunctured her heart like what
would be your thought.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
I would feel so uncomfortable.

Speaker 6 (13:07):
Yeah, it'd be uncomfortable, but I think it'd
be more sad.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, like the initial reaction would be the
grief.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
Do you think there's a Karen out there that says do
you think there's?

Speaker 2 (13:15):
a Karen out there that says you guys should have
X-rayed her first to make sure.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
Oh yeah absolutely there's going to be people there
like they could have donesomething to make sure it wasn't
in there.
It's like no, you probably justshouldn't have a fucking butt
plug in your fucking ass whenyou're going for an MRI.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
What are you drinking ?

Speaker 1 (13:39):
It is a butter pecan cream soda.
We'll look see there.

Speaker 4 (13:47):
Does that say, cum cake?

Speaker 1 (13:50):
It says crumb cake Did you?

Speaker 2 (13:50):
just say cum cake.
Well, that's what I read on thecamera Zeno's drinking cum cake
.
That's what we're calling itnow it's cum cake.
Now You're cum cake, I'll comeon your cake.

Speaker 5 (14:01):
They call them cum cakes instead of cream pies.
Now.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
Oh no, that's what we call it with I'll come on your
cake.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
They call them cum cakes instead of cream pies.
Oh no, what the fuck, that'swhat we call it with you, merky.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
Cause you ain't got no fucking pie back there.
You got a fat ass cake, dude.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
Oh, fucking Christ.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
You heard it here first If you have a fat ass,
you're getting fucking cum cake.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
Oh, I hate it here, I fucking hate it here this is
the kind of shit that thelisteners have been missing out
on for the past several monthswe've been being bombarded by
two people for the last coupleof months Farha and Munition
yeah, munition, he wanted to beon the podcast he wanted to be

(14:43):
on the podcast tonight.
Wanted to be on the podcasttonight.
I forgot.
I don't know how to contact himoutside of stream whoops.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
You know, if he wanted to be here, you would
have figured out a way to behere.
Right, he would have absolutelybeen here.
Yeah right, fake fan fake fanright there.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
Fake fucking fan.
Fake fan oh, jesus.
Christ starting 2025 strong goddamn it.
Munition, god damn it.
Do you see the?

Speaker 1 (15:05):
Fake fan.
Oh, jesus Christ, starting 2025strong, god damn it.
Munition God damn it Did yousee, the he's probably out
fucking playing hockey orplowing ladies or something.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
Wow, what a cool guy, big old dick, energy yeah, is
he giving cupcakes?
He's absolutely giving cupcakes.

Speaker 3 (15:23):
Berkey are you okay.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
Your face just turned so white when I said that oh,
my cupcakes makes me laugh.

Speaker 5 (15:31):
That's funny, that's funny.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
I wonder what happens if you go to Pornhub and search
cupcakes.

Speaker 5 (15:39):
I won't.

Speaker 6 (15:40):
You know, what Coco Go ahead, Do that.
Someone's got to do theresearch.
Someone's got to do theresearch we.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
Is Pornhub legal in Michigan?
Still, I'm not in Michigan.
It's not in Indiana.
It's Illegal in Indiana.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
Are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 1 (15:55):
You have to use an ID .

Speaker 2 (15:58):
You know, nobody's gonna do that.

Speaker 4 (16:00):
Sucks for all the senators, though, who can't get
their porn.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Only the Indiana ones .
They're too busy fuckingjerking off to a picture of
donald trump I can tell you it'slegal in illinois let's see
what we get.

Speaker 6 (16:18):
Look at that blue station.
People gotta eat the first epic.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
The first fucking video that pops up is Jesus
Christ the first video that popsup is Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
I'm hesitant to tell you to share your screen because
I want to know, but then I'mnot sure.
I want to know.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
I'm going to send a screenshot to the fucking ADHD.

Speaker 6 (16:38):
After dark chat Alright okay, just take a look.
Oh, hot tuna three week, niceand sloppy yum step bro.

Speaker 5 (16:55):
This cake is so good.
What did you put in it?

Speaker 2 (17:01):
if you want to think as you can turn around.

Speaker 6 (17:04):
I love the I love the I love the very sparkly bottle
there.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
Oh shit.

Speaker 5 (17:14):
Hawk tour, hawk tour.
Hawk tour I am not disappointed.

Speaker 4 (17:23):
This is where the new season's going guys.

Speaker 5 (17:26):
Squirt's going in the first 20 minutes, are you?

Speaker 1 (17:28):
gonna go watch the fucking Doppler rain.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
I'm just saying.

Speaker 5 (17:38):
I watched the music video for Dick in a Box it's my
dick in a box that's like.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
It's my cum in a cake that's catering to the average
American person right thereFucking big old fat ass with a
stepsis fucking fantasy.

Speaker 6 (17:56):
Speaking of which I remember there was a
conversation I did want to havewith you guys.
Oh, no, okay, I'm waiting, coco.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
I am very confused how this transitions to speaking
of.

Speaker 5 (18:08):
I was thinking about something.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Let's go, let's hear it.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
ADHD doesn't have a reason.

Speaker 6 (18:14):
Yeah, there's no rhyme or reason.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
I can't wait for Farha I can't wait for Farha to
read this chat later and be likewhat the fuck.

Speaker 4 (18:24):
What the fuck is that ?

Speaker 5 (18:30):
But I would, but I wouldn't you better bore him not
to have the kids in the room,to be fair that chat should just
be assumed not to open anywhere, not to have anywhere, not safe
.
If you're hearing this, it'syour own fault.

(18:51):
I got this, I know how to solvethis.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
You're just going to make him want to see it more by
posting more things.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
Dude, this game is dark.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
Oh, the game that we wanted to buy.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
I can make this streamer take drugs before she
streams.
It says side effects makes theuser kind of floppy.

Speaker 6 (19:13):
Oh, my what.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
Is that this is the game that was rated M, wasn't it
?
That makes sense.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
That just reminded me of those like old uh
commercials that were like thead campaign of when the guy
melts into the couch yeah,they're like, just like that
reminds me of christmas beforeshe started smoking the weed.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, dude, right, fucking.
My cousin definitely went outand smoked some fucking weed
with his friend um and my sistersister.
At one point we're in theirmansion, right, their fucking
goddamn $2 million house, theircastle, yeah.
And they come back.

(19:58):
My sister just leans over to meand she's like, does enter your
cousin's name here?
Look like he's smoked weed.
And I was like yeah, and then Ipassed it to Gaz and Gaz just
looks at me and she's like Ikind of figured that based on
how his friend over there lookslike he's melting into the couch

(20:18):
like one of those oldcommercials yeah the one where
the guy just melts.
He was just sitting there andjust like, became the couch.
He was Cade.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Dude, I thought Cade was dead the other day.
Boy was laid out, sprawled outon my bathroom floor, eyes wide
open, staring at the wall,laying on his side.
Didn't move um until I touchedhim and he was like, oh hey, dad
, what the fuck is up dude washigh as a fucking kite.
I gave him one of those uhcatnip like it's look in the

(20:58):
shape of a little mouse and hasa little ribbon on it and he was
playing with it.
Bro got fucking stoned out ofhis mind, didn't know where he
was, what he was doing.
I had to scoop him up and takehim to bed and he was out the
rest of the night.
I thought he was dead laying onthe bathroom floor he never just
lays in the middle of thebathroom floor like at most

(21:20):
he'll lay in front of the heatregister, but he was just like
right in front of the doorway.
I was like oh my god, he walkedin here and fucking died right
here in the middle of the floor.
I was like media heart attack,panic, anxiety spike and then he
was just fucking stoned.
I was like okay, but whoo, itwas.
Uh, it was exciting.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Back to ease conversation.

Speaker 1 (21:46):
Taking that slight detour, that never happens on
this podcast.

Speaker 6 (21:52):
But, digressing back to where we were going with like
kinks and stuff, I did bring upto you guys in the ADHD after
dark chat that I wanted to knowwho's worse Furries, book girls
or monster fuckers.
Did you say book girls?

Speaker 1 (22:10):
book girls.

Speaker 3 (22:11):
I think he said book talk girls all right, let's
let's start over what we said,because probably not going to be
a thing soon.

Speaker 6 (22:19):
But yeah, it's basically tiktok girlies or
tiktok book girlies, um as weare in the presence of a monster
so I think, no, no, no, we'rekeeping it in because I did a
lot of research on this stuffand it gets deeper than what I
expected are you worse than amonster?

Speaker 1 (22:41):
do you have to?

Speaker 5 (22:42):
do the fucking, or is it like?
Can it be from a femaleperspective, like I want
monsters to fuck me that'sactually a thing that's gonna
get brought up, uh-huh.
So if you will divert, yourattention, he's like I hear like
who's his screen share now whatthe fuck?

Speaker 2 (23:03):
we got a Venn diagram is that like I said it somehow
got worse.

Speaker 6 (23:08):
So my original thing was like okay, who has to be
worse?
Right, so we have furries.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
Oh, now I gotta upload this fucking video
somewhere, do we just?

Speaker 1 (23:29):
We can post the Venn diagram on Twitter or whatever.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Yeah but it's going to be way funnier if they get
our reactions while it'shappening.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
So when is Ronnie coming back?

Speaker 2 (23:40):
You opened up the can of worms.
When is Ronnie coming back?

Speaker 6 (23:45):
Probably sometime at the end of this month.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
Nice.
Well, you've been missing theronnie, especially now that
you've showed off some newartwork I mean, have I shown up
new, oh, I guess the profilepicture, yeah and uh, I didn't
know.
You were making new art, by theway, but I was talking about
the maid oh, the maid this areyou getting new artwork from

(24:10):
ronnie?

Speaker 6 (24:11):
not ronnie now.
Oh, all right.
Uh, the other thing was booktalk girlies, and since I didn't
want to dox any tiktok bookgirlies that I knew, uh, I went
with one of their husbands.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
Fucking Christ.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Oh gee, millie, oh Jesus.

Speaker 6 (24:36):
And then, of course, we have the monster fuckers.
Let me get that.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
I'm expecting this.
I'm expecting this to be me.

Speaker 3 (24:45):
Oh wait, that's just horrifying a book, talk girly no
, his wife, his wife is that'strue look at that face, he looks
like he has to shit.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Did you have this already, like before we came on
the podcast as a bit?
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
Jesus fucking Christ, I love E Remember when.
I was like is there like a planfor the stream?
And you were like no, there is.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
Well, I didn't have a plan.

Speaker 6 (25:22):
The thing is, I'm either winging it or I have a
plan.
This is a little bit of both.
I have this prepared, but alsonot planned at all.
Here's the question for youguys Individually what do we
know about these things,Starting with furries?

(25:42):
What do we know about furries?
They're autistic.

Speaker 4 (25:46):
Autistic.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
They like stuff in their butt.
Good answer, good answer.
Oh, a throwback All right.

Speaker 6 (25:59):
What else do we know?
That was my contribution.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Tails, they have fursonas.

Speaker 6 (26:06):
Fursonas.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
Very good, very good Butt stuff yeah, good answer.
Good answer tails, they havefursonas.
Fursonas very good, very goodbutt stuff.

Speaker 6 (26:10):
Yeah, good answer they do enjoy butt stuff from my
understanding okay murky, whatdo you know about furries?

Speaker 5 (26:22):
uh, helmets, what?
Whenever I go to a con, theyalways have have the big old,
we're gonna auto correct thatthe first suit, first suit, yeah
, all right no, I mean he usedhis prior knowledge of what he
had.

Speaker 6 (26:38):
He's been to conventions before and he's seen
the helmets for sale, so he'slike connecting.

Speaker 5 (26:42):
No, no, not for sale people just wearing around
helmets and then like maybe likea chest plate and just going
like that or full out or they'llhave just like the helmet and
like the hands yeah exactly yeah, ian, I saw, uh, some furries
at a con and one of them had aleash on the other one I would.

Speaker 6 (27:02):
That was very interesting.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
I want to put a leash on murky and go to a con and
see what happens.
Actually, coco and gas werethere too.

Speaker 5 (27:08):
Yeah, that was the uh doki dokan I, I stare sometimes
like I can't help myself.

Speaker 6 (27:15):
The fuck what a four-year-old child with
dwarfism for the first time whatwas that face?

Speaker 1 (27:27):
uh, we gotta snag a picture of that on the recording
.
Coco make, make a bookmark ofthat you know, we don't edit uh
what?
We can go back and look at therecording, though.
Oh, you're just recording audio.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
I'm recording both, but, like right now, I had e
full screen so I didn't get thepolygamy.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Oh damn it what?

Speaker 5 (27:53):
That's a big word for me.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
That's a big word for Elmo Can we get the dictionary
out on that All right.

Speaker 6 (27:59):
So let's move attention, let's go, let's go
clockwise, let's go to monsterfuckers.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
What do we know about monster fuckers?
What was the last word on thefurry one?
Polygamy, polygamy, multiplepartners, alright monster
fuckers.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
I know nothing so what do we mean by monster
fuckers like bitches with liketentacle dildos or bad dragon
enjoyers oh, so they're like uh,they're

Speaker 1 (28:36):
like um the avipositor bitches yeah every
dnd campaign horrific beings.

Speaker 6 (28:46):
I don't think you know they like the scary things,
like they'll see some eldrificbeings.
They like the scary things,they'll see some eldritch horror
and be like would Wait.

Speaker 3 (28:55):
Are we monster fuckers?
Wait, wait.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
Chris Redfield.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Isn't Meg in love with Danny?
Does that make her a monsterfucker?

Speaker 6 (29:06):
Who's Danny and who's Meg?

Speaker 3 (29:10):
Oh, am I not allowed to say names?

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Whoops.
I know who you're talking about.

Speaker 4 (29:15):
yeah, oh well.

Speaker 6 (29:18):
I don't.
I'm genuinely confused, okay.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
You know, you might have to explain it to me later,
because I genuinely have no ideaso that person loves ghost face
who they refer to as Danny andyou just said, horrific beings
so I would actually list that inbook talk girlies that's not a

(29:45):
book, it's a movie so maybethat's between monster fuckers
ooh, is that like shared?

Speaker 1 (29:51):
it's like in the middle of the venn diagram yeah,
when you take a book and youadd monster fuckers to it, it
makes a movie.

Speaker 5 (30:02):
It makes fucking scream, but like scream where
they make it a porno.
So now book talk girl it'scalled moan.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
Sex.

Speaker 6 (30:13):
Sex.
Book talk, yeah, book talk Sex.
They enjoy sex.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
Door stuff, door play , door play.

Speaker 5 (30:21):
Door stuff goes in the center of all of them.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
Door stuff is in the center of all of them.
I guarantee you that furriesdon't have the mental capacity
to do door stuff.
Who doesn't?

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Furries?
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (30:34):
I think they do Coco you're autistic, so you're like
halfway to being a furry.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
And you've done door stuff.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
I'm pretty sure Put in between furry and book.
Talk, coco.
I'm pretty sure Put in betweenfurry and book talk Coco.

Speaker 6 (30:51):
I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 5 (30:55):
I'm pretty sure.
I'm basically a furry without afursuit.

Speaker 3 (31:01):
Sometimes I envision myself as the spirit of a wolf.
I did buy that tail that onetime and Coco said he'd use it.
But it's John Norris.
I played a wolf in.

Speaker 6 (31:10):
Pocahontas have you ever heard the blue corn moon?
Stupid motherfucker so, nowthat we've got this groundwork

(31:37):
laid out, uh-huh, this is whereI'm gonna take a little bit more
control, because you guys havehit a few of the points that
I've wanted to hit.
But what we're gonna start?
We're gonna start in betweenfurries and monster fuckers.
Now, if you really think aboutit, what these two things share

(31:58):
in common the most for pornaddiction is a sense of
something different, somethingso other worldly role play.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
They all share role play wanting to fuck you am I
the one wanting to get fuckedthere?

Speaker 6 (32:20):
yes, you're wanting to be fucked by the level of
legs and feet shown in that.

Speaker 5 (32:25):
Coco, yes, you're trying to get dick down.
Excellent, absolutely trying toget dicked down.
Excellent, absolutely trying toget dicked down.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
Are you also trying to get dicked down in this photo
?

Speaker 2 (32:34):
I mean he was the one taking down.

Speaker 5 (32:37):
He has, he has he did socks and shoes.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah, he does.
Yeah, I see so you guys aregoing to do the come cake.
Yes, yes, I see so you guys aregoing to do the cum cake.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yes, yes I see, I understand.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
Now Carry on.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
It's a cum carrot cake, cum carrot cake.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
For reference.
This is a photo of.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Coco and Ian meeting Farah in their carrot costumes.
Good answer.
Good answer, good answer, goodanswer, good answer Good answer
Good answer Good answer.

Speaker 6 (33:09):
Now, what do book talk girlies and furries have in
common?
Well, I actually did a littlebit of digging on this and it
turns out, within theircommunities, by large, most of
them, not all, most of them areall.
Most of them are.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
What is this picture bottoms this is a picture of my
bedroom.
What?

Speaker 6 (33:39):
is the rest of this picture though it's so big it's
so big that is America's ass,right there our bottoms.
Now, what's the connectionbetween book talk girlies and

(34:00):
monster fuckers?
That's kind of where I startedto be like, okay, this is a
little weird, this is a littledifferent.
This is a little different.
Dragon smut, you're actuallynot that far off Fucking hobbit
smut.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
Hobbit and dragon smut.

Speaker 5 (34:16):
Fantasy smut, magical smut.

Speaker 6 (34:18):
You're right there.
It's fantasy, the thing thatCoco can never get.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
I don't get it.
There's a fantasy.
Why can't he get fantasy?
I don't get it.

Speaker 3 (34:27):
There's a fantasy.
Why can't he get fantasy?

Speaker 2 (34:30):
I don't understand what's happening.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
I think it's just he can't get a kiss from me and
it's like he desires it, so it'sa picture of me.
That's his fantasy.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
I get it now.

Speaker 6 (34:43):
Now, what do they all have in common?
And, after a strenuous amountof research, the one thing I've
noticed that all three of thesereally desperately want.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
What is this?

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Oh no, this is also my house.

Speaker 5 (34:59):
That's what he knows.
I don't like that no.

Speaker 4 (35:01):
I don't know, Dude.

Speaker 5 (35:10):
I'm smashing the fuck out of that five layer dude.
Oh, we got a little belly goingon.
There we go.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
I was nervous for a second because I was like this
picture was also taken at myhouse it's not the fact that I
could figure out which one wasworse.

Speaker 6 (35:28):
It's the fact that I learned that all three of them
really want a dominant figure.
Furries really want a dominantfigure to pick them up for
uppies and other little plays.
The love interest is normally abig, strong, masculine
character and monster fuckers.
They want a gigantic monster togo after them.
Normally a big, strong,masculine character and monster
fuckers.

(35:49):
They want a gigantic monster togo after them.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
Gaz.
Can you give me uppies, Uppies.
That's what broke season threeepisode one, I hope, our ai

(36:19):
picks up on that, not the uppies.
Oh no, murky said I gotta pourme another one of those 100
proofs.
This is fucking getting wild.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
This is funny I'm doing dry January.

Speaker 5 (36:32):
No, I remember why we're doing this.
It brings joy and laughter toour lives.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
You're doing dry, aren't you drinking an alcoholic
drink right now?

Speaker 5 (36:40):
No, it's just a cream soda.
It's just a cupcake cream soda,dude.
That's all nuts.
That's all nuts.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Made with real pecan.

Speaker 5 (36:48):
Yeah, pecan cream soda.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Yeah, Our podcast is going to go wild tomorrow and
it's going to get so many views.
And then the fucking owner ofthat beverage company is going
to be like why is our nametrending?
But it's come cake instead of.

Speaker 5 (37:04):
Whatever the fuck it actually is.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
They're like no, no, no.
This is good for us rememberwhat happened to twisted tea.
We can make this work for usguys.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
Just change the name to come we're gonna have to
fucking make a blue sky forfucking adhd after dark a what a
blue sky.

Speaker 6 (37:21):
It's like the non elon version of twitter.
Oh yeah, it's where everybody'smade by the guy who made
Twitter.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
It's by Jack Dorsey, right.

Speaker 4 (37:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
What is happening on this?

Speaker 4 (37:35):
Oh, what are you doing, are you just?

Speaker 2 (37:40):
cropping it to say sex with miles right underneath
it.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
It would appear, so I think that's what's happening.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
So venn diagram, sex what is?
What is what is happening?
I'm very invested in this.
I'm very upset that the viewerscan't see this and I have to
keep filling in the fucking dryspace it's keeping me more
engaged that he's not respondingto us, to our questions.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
Yeah, he's doing the work and I need to know what is
going to happen next.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
Gaz's mouth is just sitting there wide open.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
Yeah, gaz, how are you doing after that up-ease
Sorry.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
I'm trying to multitask and you know
undiagnose ADHD, therefore nomedication.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
Mm-hmm, you can blame your mother for that one yeah,
it's my mom's fault fuck yourmom not like sex do I?

Speaker 1 (38:47):
I hate my life choices welcome to the podcast,
july to be back.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
Oh, that is very funny oh, jesus christ, I can't
believe he had a whole skitready.
I love it he was.
He was ready for this.
He was like all right, I'm goodfor adhd now um, so you guys
gonna download, um what's itcalled?

Speaker 1 (39:25):
uh, red note.
Uh, you, you have to pledgeyourself to the communist party,
but I'm good, you know thinkingabout it tiktok, I'm not gonna
do that thinking about it

Speaker 6 (39:37):
I'm.
I'm just gonna ride tiktokuntil it just dies and fries out
.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
I'm just gonna start reading fucking fantasy, smart
dude yeah, then I'm just gonnago back to fucking 4chan and and
get all my horrible stuff fromthere yeah, I guess reddit's
still around yeah reddit's stillaround, I'll go to the fucking
watch people die sub page.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Oh um, okay, all right.
Well, yeah, that's the end ofthe episode.
People die subreddits and one'sjust like a joking version.

Speaker 6 (40:05):
That's the one of the episode.
There's two different whypeople die, subreddits and one's
just like a joking version.
That's the one that I'mactually on.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
No, I went to the one where I saw a guy get
electrocuted and fall limp.

Speaker 4 (40:16):
I've seen those videos before oh.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Yeah, he died.
Yeah, instant, Instant kind Inthe automotive industry actually
.
They tell you like if you'redisconnecting a hybrid battery
on a vehicle, you do not depowerit correctly and you get
shocked.
They legitimately tell you likethere's a big fucking pole with
a hook on it that shops havethat you use to pull the person

(40:42):
away from it, and they'll tellyou point blank that person is
dead.
Nothing you do can or will savethem.
They are dead.
All you can do is pull theirbody away from it to close the
circuit, but you are not goingto resuscitate them.
They are dead the moment theytouch that battery.

Speaker 6 (40:57):
Yeah, that's what our shop owner actually told me,
because I brought in a hybridcar, was washing it and he was
like hey, can I show yousomething?
I was like sure he opens up thehood.
He was like you see this orangething here.
Yeah, never touch that.
You touch that, you are dead.
You see anybody reaching forthat.
You stop them.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (41:19):
And yeah, he went on through this whole spiel about
this one thick orange wire thateven if just looking at it wrong
, we'll just kill a man.
Yeah, and I've never beenafraid of an inanimate object
more than I have.

Speaker 5 (41:33):
Yeah, we had a truck in the shop today that a guy
came from it took.
It ended up taking like sevenhours because of the weather,
but he lives roughly four hoursfrom the shop and he's the head
of the company's I don't want tosay head, but basically the

(41:54):
best guy available for therepair and engineering side of
things and he came out.
We got a truck in today.
That's a brand new EV vehiclethat apparently has a load of
these fucking batteries in it.
I didn't know that these trucksneeded more than half a dozen

(42:16):
EV batteries and I'm like ifsomeone touches that wrong,
they're gonna die.
If you stick your hand in thewrong place, not knowing what
the fuck you're around, you'regonna die.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
Yeah, if you stick your hand in the wrong place,
not knowing what the fuck you'rearound.
You're gonna die.
They could send you to thefucking moon.
Oh dude you're gonna feel likeyou're going to the moon yeah,
you're not gonna feel anythingyou're just gonna, all of a
sudden, it's gonna be nightnight forever you're gonna find
out what's on the other side.
You're gonna go welcome to hellyou aren't mad that we didn't

(42:51):
send you a christmas card, areyou?
He doesn't celebrate.
You think I'm fucking religious?
Fuck that guy.
You're right.

Speaker 6 (42:57):
I don't know why I was worried man well, I mean,
isn't christmas technically aholiday we stole from pagans?
Yes, actually, if anybody wasgoing to celebrate it, it would
be Satan.

Speaker 4 (43:11):
Let's not give it a second thought.
Is this the?

Speaker 1 (43:13):
thing we're learning today on the podcast.

Speaker 6 (43:16):
I have a generalized idea.
Did you guys not know thatChristmas is not a Christian
holiday?
I did not know that the treesand the decorations and the
bright lights and all thesethings.

Speaker 5 (43:24):
It's a capitalist holiday.
Yes, 100%, Every holiday is acapitalist holiday.
Coco.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
Jesus is dead.
Buy candy, You're not wrong.
Here would you like this candybar that is shaped like a cross
and has a man nailed to it.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
I read that the reason we?
I don't know if I've ever seena candy bar that is shaped like
a cross and has a man nailed toit.
I read that the reason we?
I don't know if I've ever seena candy bar like that.

Speaker 5 (43:48):
Coco, when the fuck are you going to find me a candy
bar like that?

Speaker 2 (43:52):
The autistic store you can find some weird shit.

Speaker 5 (43:56):
I went to the Bible shop and they had these crazy
fucking crucifix chocolates.

Speaker 1 (44:02):
I read that the reason we exchange wedding rings
and during proposals is becausethe diamond industry was like
if your man really loved you,you would get you a diamond ring
when he proposes.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
Yep, I got gas.

Speaker 5 (44:17):
I hope you're hearing this yeah, I am, I'm going to
go tell fucking daddy here.

Speaker 3 (44:23):
I go tell daddy I guess my man doesn't love me.
Then you told me what to get,because he got me exactly what I
asked for.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
You told me what to get Same.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
I saw a TikTok today and actually told her boss that
I was going to do it to aco-worker.
And it's like when a co-workerapproaches me and asks for help,
I'm going to say not now,kitten, daddy's busy, oh, no
does your work?
Have an HR department?
no he has to put his HR hat on.

(44:58):
I told him I was like, hey, I'mgoing to do this to Ryan, and
he looked at it and he goes yes,yes, please, that that would be
great because he's gonna feelso uncomfortable just by design
and why we probably should havean hr department 100.
I'm just gonna look at him andbe like not now, kitten daddy's

(45:20):
busy.
I feel like patrick would laugh.

Speaker 6 (45:22):
Oh, pat, he would be so confused.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
There was one day our office lady her name's Betsy.
She's the sweetest lady ever.

Speaker 5 (45:32):
That sounds like the lady that's been there for like
40 years.
She's been there for like 25years.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
Hell, yeah, she was invoicing something and Patrick,
one of the technicians, neededsome, or I needed the paperwork.
But he needed me to help him.
And for me to help him I neededthe paperwork.
And so I was like, hey, whenyou're done with that, I'll take
it.
And patrick goes yeah, betsy,we're waiting on you.

(46:00):
And she just like, quick as awhip goes, well, I'm working on
it.
So are you gonna stand thereand wait like a good little girl
?
And I was like, oh damn, betsy,just straight up, fucking got
you.
And he was so stunned he waslike, yeah, no, I'm gonna stand
here and wait like a good littlegirl.
Betsy, I'm sorry to haveoffended you or pushed you at

(46:23):
all.
I lost it.
I was laughing so hard.
I was like you made this sweetlittle lady fucking burn you
like to a crisp bro.

Speaker 5 (46:32):
She's been waiting the last six years.
Six years ago was the last timethat happened and she got to
say that exact same line.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
She denies that she said it.
I was like you must haveblacked out for a moment and
like the bad half of your braintook over the dark side of Betsy
and that came out.
She's like I remember sayingthat me and Patrick are like you
.
Verbatim said that that's funny, it's good shit.
It's good shit.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Made me laugh it's like whenever I got you the
other days, you know, not eventrying fucking over here, like
look at me with this 99 accuracy.
Doesn't your character haveauto aim it?

Speaker 1 (47:11):
does, it doesn't, it doesn't, it does and then we
started.

Speaker 5 (47:15):
Murky was just like he fucking got you cloaking
daggers got cloaking auto-aim isfire, fire, fire.

Speaker 6 (47:30):
I don't know anything about Marvel Rivals, but I'm
just not a PvP guy.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
It is I enjoy it.
I'm a Moon Knight main.
I fuck shit up with Moon Knight.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
I wonder what I mean.
Autism, Autism yes.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
He does do that.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
Speaking of funny, embarrassing stories, I just
remembered one from Christmas.

Speaker 6 (47:55):
Okay, let's hear it.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
This is when Gaz was using the restroom oh no.

Speaker 4 (48:02):
Oh no.

Speaker 2 (48:03):
So the entire time we were at my parents, uh, she
kept going to the bathroomdownstairs because she was just
afraid that, first off, shedidn't know that their bedroom
had a bathroom.
So she was afraid, if she wasin the bathroom, taking up all
the time, that they weren'tgoing to be able to use the
restroom while she was there.
So she kept going downstairs.
You know, because I'mconsiderate, because she's

(48:24):
considerate right right and shewas also worried about the smell
, because Wigovian stuff likethat makes her poop smell a lot
more.
It doesn't smell that bad okaythat's what you're worried about
that's what she said.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
She's worried about.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
I don't poop as often but, like you know, I get
backed up and like sometimeslike that shit's been marinating
for a minute.

Speaker 5 (48:55):
That shit happens when you're grown.
But I've never.
I've never fucking thought Iwas gonna die on a toilet until
after I turned 30 I neverthought I was gonna die on a
toilet until I had to fuckinghave the ambulance

Speaker 4 (49:04):
I never thought I going to die on a toilet until I
had to fucking have theambulance.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
I never thought I was going to die on a toilet until
the ambulance had to be calledfor me on the toilet.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
You know that did happen.

Speaker 6 (49:14):
And because of that I have now put my medical
information on my phone.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Yeah, yeah.
Because, they can look at allof your medical information from
your emergency screen.
But anyway, so she was usingthe bathroom downstairs the
whole time, except for the lastday of the trip, because we were
just about ready to head out.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
And then her worst fears were realized.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Well, I mean, I kind of made it worse for her.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
Oh no.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
She was using the restroom and I'm sitting out
there and I'm like, oh, itsmells bad out here.
So I so this piece of shitsends me a message.
Let me finish this.
You ignore those thoughts.

(50:00):
I send Gaz a message whileshe's on the toilet.
I go hey, are you pooping?
She goes yeah, what I was like.
It smells kind of bad out here.
You should turn the fan on.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
So, then I'm sitting out on the couch, so then, I'm
just sitting out on the

Speaker 2 (50:19):
couch and I hear the fan come on and I'm like oh, she
heard it.

Speaker 4 (50:23):
She was like.
She was like did they smell it?

Speaker 2 (50:28):
did they smell it?
I was like I don't know.
She was like well, why didn'tyou tell me?
And I was like, well, I mean,somebody had to.
I was laughing the wholefucking time.

Speaker 3 (50:39):
I believe the exact message said the stink is
leaking out.

Speaker 5 (50:44):
Yeah, something like that oh no, you're a brave
motherfucker dude.
I'm autistic, it was funnymaybe it's just stupidity and
bravery, but god damn it, Irespect it it makes for a great
story and it was funny.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
If you can't joke around like that, then like yeah
, I would probably do the samething to Chris you know.

Speaker 5 (51:05):
Luckily there's no one else in this apartment, so I
mean, it's not like.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
It's not like I went hey mom, hey stepdad, it smells
like shit in here.
She's pooping up a storm.
At least I said, she'sobviously shit in there at least
I sent her a message to say,hey, you might want to turn the
fan on, so it doesn't leak outhere anymore, that's more
considerate.

Speaker 5 (51:28):
The other day I just had to be like I can smell it in
the hallway, and then Dusty gotmad at me.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
What would have been, you know?
What would have been reallyfunny is if one of their
neighbors went.
One of your neighbors downbelow was like yeah, I can smell
it down here too even I fuckingkilled you, and I'm pretty
fucking funny though.

Speaker 5 (51:56):
Oh man, yeah, I can't say I don't think, I don't
think I'm brave, I think I'mjust stupid.
I peeled the pain off of thosewalls.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Dude, see, I was trying to be nice because she I
knew she was super consciousabout the smell reaching it out
there and I was like maybe Ismelled it first and I'll let
her know to turn the fan on sothat it doesn't escape out.
They smell it more.
But then I also remembered thatI have a terrible sense of
smell and they probably smelledit well before me.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
You should have done it Nah nah.
Smelled it more.
So then you took up all thesmell.
So the smell wouldn't get tothem.
So then you took up all thesmell.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
So the smell wouldn't get to them.
I don't think that's how fluiddynamics work.

Speaker 1 (52:29):
I actually saw a tick tock of a guy talking about
that where he works at a fuckingrestaurant and he's a
dishwasher and he's like, yeah,when I'm fucking back there
washing the dishes, you knowI'll fucking let them slip out
every now and then if they smellbad, I try to sniff them up
really fast.
So the girls bringing thedishes, they don't have to smell
that, because that's kind ofgross and I'm like that's not

(52:51):
how it works man, why Wish what?

Speaker 2 (52:57):
Oh no, I hope that was a joke.
No, no, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
This man is.
He's also autistic.
Well, he should.
This man is, he's also autistic, and he should be smart.
Then he's not I can't rememberhis name, it's like Gothic Cobra
or something like that and heusually wears like a cowboy hat
and he has glasses.
And like he's always talkingabout how like his account is

(53:24):
overdrafted.
And he's like I don't even knowhow I fucking do this, how like
his account is overdrafted.
He's like I don't even know howI fucking do this, but my
account's overdrafted.
And then the next fucking clipis of him fucking door dashing a
bunch of shit.
He's like yeah, I called intowork today and I just door
dashed this food because I don'treally feel like going anywhere
.
Um, so this is happening likeone of his fucking um clips.

(53:48):
He was like said he was at abar and he was hitting on this
chick and then her boyfriendstarted getting mad and he
turned around.
He's like, oh, okay, well, thisdude's fucking autistic.
I was like how are you thisself-aware but also so fucking
dumb?

Speaker 2 (54:04):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
That's him.

Speaker 6 (54:07):
That's the guy, oh my .

Speaker 2 (54:08):
God dude.

Speaker 6 (54:11):
He knew exactly who you were talking about, because
he sent me videos of thismotherfucker I have.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
It's so, so awful.
People send him glitter bombsall the time, like there was one
clip of him.
He's like, yeah, I'm notfucking opening this, I know
it's obviously a glitter bomband not fucking prequels and
shit.
And then the next po box thathe got was like of cigars or
something like that.

(54:38):
It was cigars, I know.
It was like hey, you're myYouTuber.
I was in the fucking whereveracross seas Like I found these
really good quality cigars and Ithought I'd send them to you.
I smoked a couple myself and Iwas like I knew a guy like you
would appreciate them.
And he's like, yeah, you see,this is the fucking shit I'm

(54:59):
talking about.
I appreciate people like this.
And he opens it up and it's aglitter bomb Fucking blows up in
his face.
Oh dude, he is something elsehe's always making, like the
most horrendous food to like.
He'll make steak and nachos andhe'll like cook the steak in a

(55:21):
frying pan.
The steak in a frying panthat's like got grease in it
from, like obviously, whateverelse he's been cooking and then
he'll dump the grease over likedoritos and fucking eat this
shit.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
I'm about to throw up .
That's fucking awful yeah, it'sso fucking gross I bet you it's
got dust and shit in it too.

Speaker 6 (55:41):
What the fuck is that that is him holding a staff
with his deceased pet mantisnamed mrs green glued to it I
was about to ask did he fuckingresin resonate in glue?

Speaker 1 (55:57):
yes, yes, he did uh, he's always talking about how
much of a chick magnet he is toohere are some popular quotes.

Speaker 6 (56:11):
According to his fans , this is my favorite I'm God's
gift to vagina hey yo, that'syour pickup, line Zito.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
God's gift to vagina.
Yeah, I'm actually the bane ofvagina's existence.

Speaker 4 (56:32):
Which cat is that?

Speaker 2 (56:33):
I can't tell Little.

Speaker 5 (56:35):
Little, little, not so little.

Speaker 6 (56:39):
This one sounds like if murky and cocoa combined into
one body together.
What um spill the tobacco.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
I feel an autistic freak out coming on we got the
worst parts of me and murky thefreakouts and tobacco addiction
that the bolts playing dead bydaylight go figure I mean, this
guy kind of looks like if Cocoand Murky got like mashed

(57:10):
together.

Speaker 6 (57:12):
Apparently he's been arrested for public defection.
Excuse me.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
That doesn't surprise me.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
That doesn't really surprise me at all.

Speaker 6 (57:21):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (57:22):
Jesus, is that blackface?
Oh, my god.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
Looks like a fucking caveman.

Speaker 5 (57:28):
I feel like you just had a shower a few days ago
without putting on this shotwhat like I don't know what's
going on here.

Speaker 6 (57:38):
There's no description on this picture it
just exists, he just a fuckingcartoon and he opens up a
fucking bomb.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
I don't like that.
That's his mugshot, Dude.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
I see why he wears a hat now.

Speaker 4 (57:55):
That's like a forehead man.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Dude, he's like almost conehead level there.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
He's an interesting person.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
You're an interesting person, he believes he is
incredibly famous.
I mean you know about him To anextent Everybody's an
influencer Except me.

Speaker 5 (58:22):
You just influenced my blood.
You know about them to anextent.
Everybody's an influencer, yeah, except me you just influenced
my blood there's a lot ofinfluence that shouldn't be
happening from people in thisworld.
They're not smart enough toinfluence others like us yeah,
you shouldn't be listening to usright, yeah what are you?

(58:43):
Doing right now.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
I mean.

Speaker 5 (58:44):
I guess on a general scale we gotta be at least
around like if you ranked it onlike a D&D out of 20 rating.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
I mean considering you thought 10 was pretty
fucking stupid Combinedintelligence.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Murky, we literally invented Tumcake earlier.

Speaker 5 (59:01):
Yeah, we did Because we're smart as fuck.
And then we immediately madethe biggest tag on Pornhub in
like six days.
Cum cake's gonna blow up, dude.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
Cum cake's fucking lit.
What the fuck are you alltalking about Everybody say cum
cake, Cum cakes bitch.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Cum cakes, dude.
You would know if you were here, Farah.

Speaker 2 (59:27):
We all spell it wrong .

Speaker 5 (59:36):
You like the way I spell gum cakes?

Speaker 2 (59:37):
Yeah, we all spelled it differently.
That's amazing.
I'm just going to tell him.

Speaker 4 (59:43):
Go up that last pick looks like Zeno's.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
I'm just going to tell him go up.
Wait, that last pick looks likeZeno's if he's in the chat, I'm
going to say this.

Speaker 6 (59:54):
Farah's typing.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
Let's see now that I know he saw it, he's probably
like god damn it.
Now that I know he saw it, he'sprobably like God damn it,
kennedy, avert your eyes youshould not open this chat next
to her.
He should know that by now.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Yeah, I'm sure he does.

Speaker 5 (01:00:17):
I'm sure he does.
I'm on my way to the frogs toget LASIK tomorrow morning.
Oh man, Well, there's some cake, I guess.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Yeah, there's a cum cake for you, Farah.

Speaker 4 (01:00:30):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
I wonder if he even noticed the dick in the fucking
picture.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
I probably wouldn't have either.

Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
I had not known it was on.

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Pornhub.

Speaker 5 (01:00:41):
A cum cake oh.

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
God, oh god, wait.
So like that's the most solidhour of podcast entertainment
I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah, are we cutting that anhour?
Are we gonna go a little longer?
We, we done, we out what else,what else?
We got here I don't know, I'mout of ideas.

Speaker 6 (01:01:06):
Fuck.
Did he respond with a pictureof his child.
I don't know I get here thatmade me uncomfortable.
Wait what he reacted with apicture of his child.

Speaker 5 (01:01:22):
Oh, jesus, god he just he really wanted.
The side-eyed Mr Mime meme forthe win.
Oh boy.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
I think that's.

Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
Didn't this come off of like one of our episodes of
ADHD After?

Speaker 4 (01:01:41):
Dark.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
This is where this fucking image came from it's the
Mr Mime because we werewatching the episode and we were
like what the fuck?

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
Yeah, that shit was wild.

Speaker 6 (01:01:51):
Yeah, because Ash was borrowing Mr Mime For a long
time.

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
It's been a while.
How long have we?

Speaker 5 (01:01:57):
been fucking doing this for Well a couple years.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
I lived in Pittsburgh .

Speaker 6 (01:02:03):
Right?
Was I still married or was Idivorced by that?

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
time you were divorced.
You were definitely divorced.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
It was 2022.

Speaker 5 (01:02:15):
I'd rather refer to it as moving on to bigger and
better things, growing,something I say.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
And showing Growth led you to cupcakes.

Speaker 6 (01:02:27):
Just remember, all of your life choices have led you
to cupcakes.

Speaker 1 (01:02:33):
That includes you listener driving in your car on
your way to your nine and five.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
Hey, listener, listener, listener.
If there's a version of God.

Speaker 5 (01:02:42):
I have no idea how I'm going to explain cupcakes
well, you have.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
You have jc's pizza.
Go talk to him there, dude thatpizza's so good but fuck, that
was awkward man what happened.
You gotta tell the story.

Speaker 5 (01:03:00):
I'm too autistic oh yeah, so Pogo was in town.
Yep, whoever could make it madeit out to Dusty's birthday
thing at JC's Pizza.
You guys were at the con down,or no?
You were playing Shadowversedown.
Yeah, down, a few towns down.
And so we go to this placebecause it's a coal-fired

(01:03:24):
fucking pizza and we heard somerumors it was really good, and
so Hold on a second Kings.

Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
Oh fuck, king's doing stuff.
Murky has to do things.
Uh-oh, is he throwing up backthere Seems like he's doing a
little asthma dude, I wish Ididn't have ADHD, it wasn't so

(01:03:57):
autistic or I could explain thisstory way better.
But but we're at this JC'spizza place because you know, I
came in after they, they did allthe scheduling stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
I came in and my god what I think she has to cut
herself to relieve stress.

Speaker 6 (01:04:20):
This game is so uh what well that took a sharp 180.

Speaker 4 (01:04:28):
Okay, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
It literally says self-destruct.
Continue your story, Murky.
I've got distracted by that.

Speaker 5 (01:04:38):
So you know, a bunch of people show up for Dusty's
birthday at this pizza place.
Come out, they get drink orders, see if we want any appetizers
or anything, and the owner comesout who we did not know was the
owner at the time and he comesup and puts his arm around like

(01:05:01):
my dad.
I was like, oh, my dad knowsthis person.
And he starts talking toeverybody.
You know, I hope you guys arehaving a good time.
Thanks so much for coming outhere.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, oh, like dad mustknow this guy.
Not the case, Definitely not thecase.
He's like have you guys heardthe story of how he came to be?

(01:05:21):
And everyone said no,apparently, because we're not
liars.
And then we got a fucking15-minute spiel about how this
guy was working for a business,put everything he had into, it
went bankrupt.
The place went bankrupt.
He lost everything.
He was living in a hotel acrossthe street.
Me and Dusty had known aboutthis guy through stories from a

(01:05:45):
friend that he was one of thechefs living at this hotel for
the business and how JesusChrist fucking saved him and
fucking now he owns this placeand they only get the best
ingredients from blah, blah,blah and the food is fire.
But I did not sign up for a 20minute, for a 20 minute church

(01:06:09):
spiel.
It was definitely trying toorder what I was trying to order
some drinks and some appetizersI was like.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
You were like I want a cider.
Uh, yeah, I don't need a 20minute sermon from yeah about
how.

Speaker 5 (01:06:22):
However, he's like I'm so glad you guys are here.
Like I, love having big partiesand he gave us a hundred
dollars worth of gift cards andthe food is spectacular.

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
So we've used fifty dollars that hundred but but it
was really funny because likesomebody in your party was like
so your name's not jc, righthe's like no, no, jc stands for
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 5 (01:06:42):
I was like oh, I was waiting for, like Jesse or you
know James, something Nope.
Instead it's my moral enemy.
Satan, do you make better pizza?
I bet you do.

Speaker 6 (01:07:02):
Bro, I have more than one fire pizza down here.
I got people fire pizza.
I bet you do, bro, I have morethan one fire pizza down here.
I got people fire pizza.

Speaker 1 (01:07:07):
I bet you make some fire ass wings down there.

Speaker 5 (01:07:10):
Yeah, how hot, you want it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:14):
Not very hot.
I want it to melt every layerof Murky's ass.
We got that.
The lava chicken special the.
What?
The lava chicken special Lavachicken special.

Speaker 6 (01:07:25):
What the lava chicken special?
Lava special chicken special.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
Yeah, hey miles is streaming if only we could rate
him as adhd after dark and wecan all.

Speaker 6 (01:07:35):
That is not the rate he wants oh, he's playing pow
world.
Oh, he's playing power world,so don't be he's playing.

Speaker 3 (01:07:41):
Palworld.

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
Started a new world over there.

Speaker 5 (01:07:45):
I'm going to start I should get a little bit of
Marvel Rivals after this.

Speaker 2 (01:07:51):
I'm going to have to do the quick little edit.
Then I can hop in and play.
By edit I mean put it into theaudio application and get the
audio out.
As long as we don't loseanother great episode, like we
did with me and dilla well, yeah, that's why I now, that's why I
now interact with the podcastfrom the recording screen, so I

(01:08:12):
can see when it fucks up yeah,the one, the one fucking episode
that dilla was on um and uh, itgot lost.

Speaker 5 (01:08:25):
That was back in, like the still watching Pokemon
days and he never wanted to beon us again.

Speaker 2 (01:08:32):
I mean, we could still go back to watching
Pokemon then he had a kid.
I mean to be fair.
He hated us before that did he?
Yeah, he had a kid last year,wasn't it?

Speaker 6 (01:08:46):
No, he like technically.

Speaker 4 (01:08:50):
Yeah, technically because it's a new year.

Speaker 2 (01:08:56):
Uh-huh but yeah, it was just a few months ago, yeah,
so it was like we had a lot ofepisodes out that he could have
been on.

Speaker 5 (01:09:02):
Daddy Dilla.

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
It was like what did we do wrong?

Speaker 5 (01:09:05):
That Daddy Dilla what did we do wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:09:07):
That's Daddy Dilla.
He just disappeared.
Sorry, Daddy.

Speaker 6 (01:09:13):
I'll look at him wearing that Xenostream 38 shirt
.
It's a pretty sick shirt.

Speaker 2 (01:09:16):
We're going to all get a message from Dylan House.
He's going to be like what thefuck are you guys slandering me
for on your podcast?

Speaker 4 (01:09:22):
We didn't know you were listening.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
Slandering.
We want to know why he doesn'tlike us anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
He's got a kid.
That's probably much coolerthan us.

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
His kid is pretty cool.

Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
At least for another four years, until they get a
mind of their own and become afucking pain in his ass.

Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
I liked how the other day he commented that he could
shit on his dick and Bruce's dogwould eat it.
What I was laughing was that inthe snap chat, group chat yeah,
cause he had sent the video ofhim with the orange and Monty

(01:10:04):
was all interested in it, butthen he let with the orange and
Monty was all interested inthinking it was a snack for him.
But then he let him sniff itand Monty was like, oh yeah, I
don't give a fuck about that andturns around and runs away yeah
, and Dilla's like I couldliterally shit on a stick and
Bruce would eat that shitlaughing, laughing laughing.
I was laughing pretty hardabout that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
Oh god.

Speaker 1 (01:10:30):
Kate is pretty, pretty picky about his treats
and snacks too.

Speaker 2 (01:10:34):
I'm pretty sure Key Lala's not picky.
She's licking paint cans.

Speaker 3 (01:10:39):
Very true.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
How big is she now?

Speaker 3 (01:10:44):
She's getting shonky.

Speaker 2 (01:10:46):
About like that, felt like that big that's crazy.

Speaker 5 (01:10:50):
Rivet and dry or have team up on her.

Speaker 2 (01:10:52):
They're always gonna lose no, she's, she's still a
pushover because she's the firstone to go down and then gets on
her back oh really yeah.
And then she's battling likethis.
She's's not on top, it's alosing fight, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
She hasn't figured out that she's much bigger than
them yet.

Speaker 5 (01:11:10):
Yeah, fighting off her back.
We're going back to submissives.
We're going back to thebeginning of the podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:11:16):
I can't wait for this title to be called Come cake
Come.

Speaker 5 (01:11:19):
There was something.

Speaker 4 (01:11:20):
I yelled in the middle, come full circle.

Speaker 2 (01:11:23):
It was obvious All right, goodbye everybody, come
cake, see you, bye, see you inthe future.