S4 E13: We Take Control Of E

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Imagine four friends wrestling for control of one body—bidding away their willpower, rolling dice for every move, and chasing three absurd objectives each. That’s the game we played, and it turns a dumpster wake-up into a full-blown odyssey of chaos, strategy, and questionable choices. The rules are simple: pick three skills, pick three goals, then fight for the wheel. Unskilled actions need a perfect roll; skilled ones ease to a three. Miss, and someone else grabs control. It’s improv comedy fused with game-night tension.

We push the premise to its unhinged limits. The story rockets from a dumpster in Gary, Indiana to a flaming McDonald’s, a hijacked firetruck, and a baffled set of cops. One player leans hard into “Firestarter,” turning the map into a chain of bad decisions you can’t stop listening to. Another tries to out-talk every problem with “Smooth Talker,” scoring points in the strangest ways. Meanwhile, tasks like “get a beer,” “work naked without getting in trouble,” and “enter a contest and win” become mini-heist plots powered by dice and desperation. Every bid drains willpower; every roll might end your run. The suspense is real because the rules are brutal but fair.

Between explosions and persuasion checks, you’ll hear how constraints spark creativity. Skills reframe actions, willpower bids become mind games, and the table energy keeps the narrative sprinting forward. By the finale, the scoreboard tells one story while the trail of wreckage tells another—and both are hilarious. If you love actual-play chaos, improv that says yes-and to everything, and friends pushing a simple system to cinematic extremes, this episode is your jam. Hit play, pick your favorite agent of mayhem, and tell us who you think should have won. Enjoyed the ride? Follow, share with a friend who loves chaotic game nights, and leave us a review to help more listeners find the show.

Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_05 (00:00):
Find a piece of paper now.

SPEAKER_07 (00:02):
Alright, we're we're live.
Matman's voice was the firstthing heard.
Hi, everybody.
I'm eating.

SPEAKER_10 (00:07):
Uh I don't have paper.

SPEAKER_07 (00:12):
You don't have paper?

SPEAKER_10 (00:13):
No.

SPEAKER_07 (00:14):
You have a big dick.

SPEAKER_05 (00:15):
Is it I don't think that those things are
synonymous?
No, no, I think he's got apoint.
I mean, let him click him out.

SPEAKER_07 (00:24):
You fucking you've seen people write on their
fucking hand to remember stuff.
Just write on your dick.

SPEAKER_10 (00:32):
Test cheat code if you ever have to take test
seven.
I'm going to draw a thermometeron my dick.
So if Crystal's ever like, Ican't write now, I'll get it.
I'll feel God and be like, letme take that temperature.

SPEAKER_07 (00:46):
There's two ways writing on your dick could go if
you fucking used it to cheat ona test.
Either the test taker is notgonna fucking question you for
it because that's way moretrouble than what it's worth.
Or you're gonna have like themost strickler persons to the
rules coming over and be like,let me see your dick, and then
you get him arrested forunderage penis viewing.

SPEAKER_06 (01:08):
What?

SPEAKER_07 (01:09):
Huh?

SPEAKER_06 (01:10):
Yeah, the the song Let Me Smell Your Dick.
I have Let Me Smell Yo Dick.
Let Me Smell Yo Dick.

SPEAKER_02 (01:19):
What the fuck?

SPEAKER_10 (01:20):
Who's on Tosh Point O.
That explains uh the website.

SPEAKER_06 (01:24):
I actually knew somebody who was on Tosh Point
One.
The Merman?
Yeah, the Black Merman.
His name is Eric.
Uh I mean, if you watchedTashpoint O, it's possible you
saw the episode.
I'm sure I did.

(01:44):
It sounds very familiar.
Yeah, him and I worked at amovie theater together.
That was the same movie theaterwhere the manager was sneaking
in the uh ceiling tiles to spyon women going to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_07 (01:59):
What?
That's crazy.

SPEAKER_06 (02:00):
Did I never tell that story?

SPEAKER_07 (02:03):
I don't think so.

SPEAKER_06 (02:05):
So uh I was working at a movie theater in
Charleston, South Carolina.
It was while I was waiting toget my teaching certification
transferred to South Carolinafor Michigan.
And yeah, uh apparently foryears the manager had been

(02:25):
sneaking into the ceiling tilesbecause there was a certain
theater that was in there thathe found that the panel moved
out and he could sneak backthere, walk through the walls
essentially, and go up into theceiling tiles of the women's
restroom and just like move thetiles slightly, and he just had

(02:47):
like a phone he was takingpictures with.
That's fucking crazy.
A woman just happened to noticeit move.
She looked up and saw a facelooking at her and freaked out
and called the police.
And uh when he was questionedabout it, he just immediately
folded.

(03:07):
Huh.
Yeah, so yeah, what was funnywas I was working the day that
he got arrested, but he gotarrested like 30 minutes after I
left.
Damn.
Wow.
So like I just missed all thathappening.

SPEAKER_08 (03:24):
Huh.
That sucks.
I mean, they probably would haveasked you to come back and work,
so maybe you're probably out atthe right time.

SPEAKER_06 (03:35):
Hey, so uh the manager just got arrested.
Can you come back and uh do anextra shift?
Just help out.
That would be crazy.

SPEAKER_07 (03:46):
That's fucking wild, dude.

SPEAKER_06 (03:51):
Uh yeah, I'm really shocked that I've never said
that story before now.

SPEAKER_09 (03:58):
You probably have.

SPEAKER_06 (03:59):
Yeah, I don't recall it.

SPEAKER_09 (04:00):
It's very possible.
I've never heard that.
Absolutely never heard thatstory.

SPEAKER_05 (04:05):
I know you've told me, but I don't know when.
Oh wow.
Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_07 (04:16):
What's happening with Matt?

SPEAKER_05 (04:18):
I am currently playing Destiny and realizing
that this is a very slow thingthat I'm trying to do.

SPEAKER_07 (04:25):
That sounds like code for my wiener.
Hey, oh sure.

SPEAKER_06 (04:31):
Zeno, did you ever get yourself that piece of
paper?

SPEAKER_07 (04:42):
Oh no.
Oh fucking Christ.
Ever since I have reinstalledWindow, all my fucking audio
settings are fucking just messedup.
I hope my audio's not too quietfor everybody.
It probably sounds great onDiscord, but I'm looking at the
waveform.

(05:02):
I'm looking at the waveform, andMatt's peaking, E's peaking,
Xeno's not peaking, and uhMarky's not peaking.

SPEAKER_05 (05:14):
I have my Gen Con D6.
There we go.
Alright, I don't know what I'mdoing, but I'm here.

SPEAKER_07 (05:19):
Maybe I should just do you have a piece of paper and
a writing utensil?

SPEAKER_05 (05:23):
I have a writing utensil and an initiative
tracker.

SPEAKER_06 (05:27):
Uh you will not need that initiative tracker.

SPEAKER_05 (05:30):
Well, that's my piece of paper, so fuck you.

SPEAKER_06 (05:32):
Oh, okay then.
Whoa.
I I figured when you saidinitiative tracker, you brought
out that sword thing.

SPEAKER_05 (05:41):
No, this is just a sheet of paper that I use when
we do the online thing, becausesword thing is a lot of work.

SPEAKER_07 (05:46):
Sword thing is pretty cool in person, though.
It is.

SPEAKER_00 (05:49):
Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (05:53):
Alright.
Uh so what so while we wait for,you know, he gave us an
assignment and then he gave ussome more stuff to do today.
And I have not done that yet.
So we're gonna we're gonna.

SPEAKER_05 (06:07):
I apparently didn't study for the test, so yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (06:09):
It's okay.
Murky was the only one whohanded in an assignment, so he
gets a golden star.

SPEAKER_09 (06:19):
I did I have a full no seat actually installing as
well.

SPEAKER_06 (06:23):
So give uh all right, get fucked.

SPEAKER_09 (06:29):
I was like, no, the cross is how like I'm I think
that's you four are gonna beplaying a little game.

SPEAKER_06 (06:35):
I'm essentially gonna be DMing it, but this is a
competition between all four ofyou.
Okay, so like somebody has tocome out as a winner.

SPEAKER_05 (06:47):
So it's definitely not me.

SPEAKER_07 (06:49):
Well, I saw first place, second place seemed like
the real prize.

SPEAKER_06 (06:53):
So what I need for you guys to do first at the top
of your paper, you just want toput down either WP or willpower.
Sorry, I'm writing with mymouse, so this looks awful.
And the number 10 next to it.

(07:15):
Oh, guys are gonna be startingoff with that much willpower.
Okay.
Well, nice starting off withmost days.
The next thing you want to do isgive yourself three different
real-world skills that somebodycould possibly have.

(07:36):
And that could be anything likeuh good at driving.
It could be uh something likewell, we know one of Xenos is
Bing Wiener.

SPEAKER_05 (07:55):
Cooks well.

SPEAKER_07 (08:04):
No, I think it's just some random things.

SPEAKER_01 (08:07):
It's whatever you feel like.

(08:31):
This must be what your testtaking faces look like.

SPEAKER_02 (08:35):
Yeah, is it imagine?
I got my I have mine.

SPEAKER_08 (08:41):
I have a cheat sheet that I was allowed to bring.
You guys didn't bring yours.

SPEAKER_07 (08:45):
Yeah, I brought my brain like you're supposed to.

SPEAKER_10 (08:48):
Murky doesn't have one.

SPEAKER_07 (08:50):
Oh, right.

SPEAKER_05 (08:53):
That's why we have to let him out at the time.

SPEAKER_09 (08:56):
Welcome to the podcast.
Welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_05 (08:58):
Welcome to ADHD Afternoon.
You've been Shanghai like me.

SPEAKER_04 (09:03):
But fuck you guys for being all together beside
me.

SPEAKER_07 (09:08):
Fuck you.
Fuck you, bitch.
Fuck you.
You let your hand, you stupidbitch.
Put your hands on the fuckingwheel.
You don't believe in Jesus, doyou?

SPEAKER_06 (09:21):
His dick ain't that big, we've seen it.

SPEAKER_05 (09:26):
Call the police.
I'm just driving with my dick.

SPEAKER_07 (09:29):
Look, last thing we need is for ice to pull you over
because you're giving them themiddle finger and not driving.

SPEAKER_04 (09:42):
He's been a fucker this whole ride.
I have not.

SPEAKER_06 (09:46):
Oh, but you know what?
You're in trouble.
You're in trouble.

SPEAKER_04 (09:52):
No more, no more nibble looking for you, not the
nibble looking.

SPEAKER_06 (09:56):
That's okay because that's what I got Xeno for.

SPEAKER_09 (10:00):
It's gonna make you skate skirt and we're gonna get
guests.

SPEAKER_06 (10:03):
Skirt shirt.
Uh, does everybody got their uhthree skills?
Yes.
Sure.

SPEAKER_04 (10:08):
Uh oh.
What are we doing?

SPEAKER_06 (10:10):
Yeah, let's go with let's go with this.
Now, underneath your skills,you're gonna have to give
yourself three objectives.
One that is pretty easy.

SPEAKER_02 (10:25):
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (10:27):
One that is pretty risky, and one that is damn near
impossible.
And next to easy, risky, andimpossible, you're gonna put
one, two, and three.
So one next to your easy, twonext to your risky, and three

(10:48):
next to your impossible.
So easy can be something likeeat a shit ton of candy.

SPEAKER_01 (11:00):
Uh risky could be something like uh trying to
think something off top of myhead.

SPEAKER_06 (11:10):
Uh flirt with your friend's wife.

SPEAKER_01 (11:19):
That sounds dangerous.

SPEAKER_06 (11:26):
And impossible could be something like uh blow up a
building.

SPEAKER_08 (11:37):
Time travel.

SPEAKER_01 (11:39):
Time travel, that's also a thing.
We we'll say almost impossible.
There we go.

SPEAKER_06 (11:49):
Almost And once everybody's got their uh three
objectives, I will finallyexplain what you guys are gonna

(12:11):
be playing.

SPEAKER_10 (12:13):
I have my three.

SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
I have my three.
Good to go.

SPEAKER_06 (12:22):
Alright, we're just waiting on Coco.
I'm good.
You're good?
Alright.
Let me go ahead and switch somescreens around.
I need this to be full screen.
Alright.
Gentlemen and Lena, welcome to alittle game we're calling

(12:48):
Everybody Is E.
You four are the voices in myhead, and you have to try to
complete all three of yourobjectives.

SPEAKER_10 (13:00):
Guys, he's on to us.
We are the voices in his head.

SPEAKER_06 (13:04):
Okay.
Now you can do your objectivesmultiple times.
Okay.
And that's why I told you guysto do, you know, one, two,
three.
Each one of those is worth thatpoint value.
So you can do like your easy oneas many times as you want to try
to gather up more points.

(13:24):
Willpower is essentially goingto be your health for your voice
in my head.

SPEAKER_02 (13:30):
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (13:32):
To take control of my body, you basically have to
bid willpower.
And if nobody is willing to bid,I'm going to pick one of you at
random.
You will lose a willpower, andyou take control of my body for
that turn.
But the thing is, is I might notbe waking up in my bed.

(13:55):
I have this little wheel herethat's going to tell us where
the heck we're going to bestarting off this little
adventure.
Okay.
Now the other catch is to do anaction, you will have to roll a
D6 and a must land on six inorder to succeed.

(14:15):
Otherwise, it's a fail, and yougive up my body to one of the
other voices, and that's wherewe'll do a bidding war.
But your skills, if you do anaction that's even closely
related to one of those skills,you just have to roll three or
higher.

(14:36):
So, like let's say Coco put downone of his skills is good at
driving.
If he needs to slam my car intoa bus for whatever reason, he
would just need to roll a three.

SPEAKER_07 (14:48):
Man, my skills are terrible.
Yeah, my same.
Same.
Yep.
Excellent.

SPEAKER_06 (14:54):
I'm going to need all four of you to roll that d6.
Highest number is gonna be ourfirst voice.
One.
Four.
Six.
All right, murky is starting offas the lead voice, Murky.
I wake up.

SPEAKER_07 (15:19):
Okay.
So you wake up in.

SPEAKER_06 (15:23):
I wake up in a dumpster.

SPEAKER_02 (15:25):
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (15:27):
So now so remember, Murky, you are trying to
complete your goals.
So you're me, you are the voicecontrolling me.
You see that you are inside of adumpster.
What are you doing?

SPEAKER_09 (15:40):
Okay, uh, first thing, because of my trait, bad
eyesight.
Um, I would like to make sure Ihave traits the three skills I
possess.
I mean, they don't have a skill.
That eyesight is not a skill.
Yeah, it's a it's a skill.
I don't have dark vision.

SPEAKER_10 (15:59):
Remember how we said that Merky didn't have a brain?
Fuck you.
You even had a cheat.
He had the cheat sheet andeverything, and still couldn't
figure this out.

SPEAKER_09 (16:09):
Blinded?
Is blinded a trait?
What are we doing now?
Is it a skill?
Is it a skill, Murky?
You told me to eat inedible anhour ago.

SPEAKER_07 (16:24):
I can see That is true.

SPEAKER_10 (16:27):
I did tell Murky to do that.
He asked me if I thought it wasa good idea, and I told him it
was a great idea.
And he also asked me if I wasgonna take responsibility for
his actions, and I also said yesto that.

SPEAKER_07 (16:38):
This is your response.

SPEAKER_06 (16:43):
Well, well, well.
Uh why don't we change badeyesight to just uh you can spot
things easily.
The exact opposite,motherfucker.
Decent eyesight.
Decent eyesight.
We'll take okay-ish.
We'll go with okay-ish nexttime.

SPEAKER_09 (17:04):
Um I would like to verify I have that ES his car
keys, and I would like to lookfor my V.

SPEAKER_06 (17:12):
So go ahead and roll.
I'm gonna say that's prettyclose to that skill, so you need
a three or higher.

SPEAKER_09 (17:21):
Um, I roll the two.

SPEAKER_06 (17:24):
Alright, so uh you as the voice try to take control
of my body, and you're like,okay, let's see if he has his
keys or not.
And you instead miss my pantsand slap what seems to be kind
of some ooey gooey mashedpotatoes in the dumpster, and uh
you hear the other voices run upbehind you to try to take

(17:45):
control.
So we're going into our biddingwar.
So, Murky, you can still try toget control here, but let's see
who wants to open up our bids.
Do I hear one willpower?

SPEAKER_10 (18:05):
Oh but uh, I wanted a I go two.

SPEAKER_06 (18:09):
Oh, Xeno's calling for two.
Do I got three?
Anybody got a three to takecontrol of his body?
Do I hear a three, three, three?
Go once, going twice.
Sold to Xeno for two willpower.

SPEAKER_10 (18:23):
I'm down to eight.

SPEAKER_06 (18:26):
Correct.

SPEAKER_10 (18:28):
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (18:30):
Alright, new voice is taking control of my body.
Zeno, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_10 (18:35):
Um, are we still in the dumpster?

SPEAKER_06 (18:37):
We are still in the dumpster, and our hand is in
mashed potatoes.

SPEAKER_10 (18:41):
And our hand is in mashed potatoes.
Um, I would like to swim out ofthe trash.
And I am an Olympic swimmer, sothis should be easy.

SPEAKER_06 (18:53):
Is that one of yours kills?
Yes.
You know, I'm not gonna contestit.
Uh, three or higher, please.

SPEAKER_10 (19:03):
I got a crit.
So a six.

SPEAKER_06 (19:05):
All right.
So you're swimming around in thegarbage, you feel the energy of
Ronnie the raccoon soar throughyou, and you're just living your
best life, and somehow youstumble out of the dumpster, and
you realize you are somehow inthe middle of you know what?
I'm gonna randomly zoom intoIndiana.

(19:28):
Oop, that's the wrong tab.
That is not what I wanted tozoom.
And it looks like I landed onGary, Indiana.
So we're in Gary, Indiana.
No, okay.

SPEAKER_10 (19:39):
What hell have you got to get here?
I am uh going to now make my wayto Coco's house.

SPEAKER_06 (19:47):
Okay, so how are you going to do that?
I will swim.

SPEAKER_07 (19:54):
There's a river from Gary, Indiana to my house.

SPEAKER_05 (19:58):
There's a river in Gary, Indiana.
Indiana.
I don't want to be in it.

SPEAKER_09 (20:01):
He's crossing Lake Michigan.

SPEAKER_06 (20:05):
I'm gonna say I'm not going to allow you to do
that.
Why not?
I'm an Olympic swimmer.

SPEAKER_10 (20:11):
I can make it a way to get to Coco's house.
I will walk to Coco's house.

SPEAKER_06 (20:16):
You're going to walk to Coco's house.
Please roll me a D6, and I'mgoing to assume you don't have
any walking or running skills.
I do not.

SPEAKER_10 (20:26):
And I rolled a three.

SPEAKER_06 (20:27):
Alright.
So Xeno forfeits the body.
We're going to start off ourbids at one.
I'll go one.

SPEAKER_02 (20:36):
I'll go two.

SPEAKER_06 (20:37):
I got one.
Do I hear two?

SPEAKER_02 (20:39):
I'll go two.

SPEAKER_06 (20:41):
I hear two.
Do I hear three?
Anybody want a bit of three totake control of my body?
My fat, flabby little body.

SPEAKER_05 (20:48):
I'll bid I have to have that flabby little body.
I will build it.

SPEAKER_07 (20:51):
Zeno's gonna fucking waste all of his fucking
willpower and not get any point.
I ain't wasting shit.
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (20:58):
Alright, I have three for Mat Man.
Do I hear four?
Four for Matt and to takecontrol of my body first.

SPEAKER_10 (21:06):
No, Matt guy.

SPEAKER_06 (21:10):
Sold to Mat Man, my fat, flabby body.
Alright, Mat Man.
You are currently standingoutside of a dumpster.
Your hand is covered in what isprobably now dried mashed
potatoes.
Oh, it's all crusty.
Christy.
And uh yeah, you're just lookingaround at Gary, Indiana.

SPEAKER_07 (21:33):
What a sight.

SPEAKER_05 (21:35):
So I would like to do the first thing that uh I
would probably want to do inGary, Indiana, and I would like
to set that dumpster on fire.

SPEAKER_06 (21:48):
Do you have any skills that correlate with
setting things on fire?

SPEAKER_05 (21:53):
I do.
In fact, I have a skill calledFirestarter.

SPEAKER_06 (21:58):
Alright, roll me a three or higher, please.

SPEAKER_10 (22:02):
Yeah, you didn't want to be blind.
What do you mean?

SPEAKER_05 (22:06):
Oh, that is a five.

SPEAKER_06 (22:09):
Uh, you can also spend one willpower to add plus
one to your roll.
What?

SPEAKER_10 (22:15):
I would have done that last time.

SPEAKER_06 (22:18):
Yeah, I just remembered that I'm sorry.
Rigged.
I rolled a five.
You rolled a five.
Alright, so you pat down.
I'm sorry, I pat down mypockets.
I need to use first person here.
I pat down my pockets becausethe voice in my head told me,
start a fire, start a fire,start a fire.
And uh, wouldn't you note in myback pocket I have a Zippo

(22:40):
lighter?
And that dumpster kind ofalready smells like a lot of
bourbon to begin with.
So I just fling that bad bitchin there.
Catches on fire.
So uh Matman, if that was one ofyour goals, don't forget to give
yourself your points there atthe bottom of your sheet.
You need to keep track of thosebecause I ain't fucking doing it

(23:00):
because I don't know what yourgoals are.
I will give myself two pointsfor starting a fire.
Hell yeah.
Alright, so you uh started afire.

SPEAKER_07 (23:08):
What are you doing now?
Matman's risky objective is wayeasier than mine.

SPEAKER_05 (23:13):
Brother, that fire is real warm and it is making me
thirsty.
I would like to look around andsee if there's a uh any kind of
uh convenience store or even youknow locked refrigerator or
anything like that.

SPEAKER_06 (23:32):
Alright, do you have any perception skills?

SPEAKER_05 (23:35):
Uh I do not, I'm afraid.
All right.
Usually I do.
I can identify plants andanimals.

SPEAKER_06 (23:41):
I don't think that's gonna help you with identifying
a building.

SPEAKER_05 (23:45):
It won't, but I do have a perception skill.
Just wanted to say.

SPEAKER_06 (23:48):
Alright, so uh please roll me a six.

SPEAKER_01 (23:57):
That is a three.

SPEAKER_06 (23:59):
That is a three.
Would you like to spend three ofyour willpower or are you going
to forfeit?
I'll forfeit.
Alright, so we got a bid for myfive labor buddy.
Uh Coco, do you do you have apoint you'd like to spend?

SPEAKER_07 (24:17):
I'll I'll bet one.

SPEAKER_06 (24:19):
Bet one?
All right, murky, murky, do youwant to bet two?

SPEAKER_09 (24:23):
I'll throw it out.
Where are we at?
Where are we at now?

SPEAKER_06 (24:27):
We are still in Gary, Indiana, right outside of
a flaming dumpster, andapparently I'm very thirsty.
I'll bet.
Alright, we got two from Murky.
Do I got three from Xeno?
Zeno, Coco, May Man.

SPEAKER_10 (24:42):
I'll throw three.

SPEAKER_06 (24:44):
Got three from Xeno.
Do I hear a four?
Four from anybody?
Going once?
Going twice?
I'll throw it a four.
For four points.
Alright, Xeno.
Uh you are the voice that justtook control and you are
standing outside of a dumpsterin Gary, Indiana that is on fire

(25:05):
and we're thirsty.
What are you doing?

SPEAKER_10 (25:07):
For three though.

SPEAKER_06 (25:10):
Oh, you're right.
I am bad at math.
This is why I put sandpaper oncar.

SPEAKER_10 (25:20):
Uh I am I'm gonna call my friend Coco.

SPEAKER_01 (25:26):
Alright.

SPEAKER_10 (25:27):
Uh how are you going to do that?
With my cell phone.
That is probably in my pocket.

SPEAKER_06 (25:35):
Alright.
Uh go ahead and roll for it.
Four.
Do you wanna let me try thatagain?
Do you have anything for findingstuff as a skill?
No.
Would you like to spend two ofyour willpower in order to find

(25:58):
the phone?

SPEAKER_00 (25:59):
Yes.

SPEAKER_06 (26:02):
Alright, so you find the phone and you look through
the contacts.
I'm sorry, I find my phone.
I look through the contacts, andlo and behold, I see there is a
uh I don't know, Coco.
Do you actually want me to saywhat I have you down in my
contacts?
Or sure.

SPEAKER_07 (26:22):
I don't even know what you have me down as in your
contacts.
Pookie.

SPEAKER_06 (26:26):
Pookie.
Pookie.
So you scroll through and youfind saggy tits.

SPEAKER_10 (26:40):
I would like to call saggy tits.

SPEAKER_06 (26:42):
All right, so you swipe on the phone and you're
seeing the green screen.
Cause I have a silly littleAndroid phone.
It's a Galaxy S1.

SPEAKER_07 (26:58):
See my saggy tits.

SPEAKER_06 (27:00):
You you hear it go pring pring for a few minutes,
and then finally you hear a uhhello.

SPEAKER_10 (27:09):
I'm gonna say, hey, nice shoes.

SPEAKER_01 (27:12):
Wanna fuck?
Uh yes.
Yeah?

SPEAKER_10 (27:19):
Alright, let's do it.

SPEAKER_06 (27:21):
Alright, come over.

SPEAKER_10 (27:23):
You come to me.

SPEAKER_06 (27:25):
Oh, where the fuck you at?

SPEAKER_10 (27:27):
Uh McGary, Indiana.

SPEAKER_06 (27:29):
I ain't driving all the way to fucking Gary,
Indiana.

SPEAKER_10 (27:31):
You pick me up and then we can fuck in the back.

SPEAKER_06 (27:33):
Why the fuck do like no, you come here.

SPEAKER_10 (27:36):
It's part of the atmosphere.

SPEAKER_06 (27:37):
I need a ride.
I can't drive, dude.
I ain't going to fucking Gary,Indiana.
Do you know what happened thelast time I went to Gary,
Indiana?
Bro code.
Bro, there ain't no fucking brocode for Gary, Indiana.

SPEAKER_07 (27:50):
Yeah.
Pick me up.
Are you being me?
Are you being me right now?

SPEAKER_06 (27:53):
I'm trying to be you right now.

SPEAKER_07 (27:54):
I'm just I just pull out the autism card and say, no,
come to me.

SPEAKER_06 (27:58):
You know what?
Yeah.
Autism card.

SPEAKER_07 (28:01):
Xeno bought me that.
No explanation needed.

SPEAKER_06 (28:05):
Zeno, I'm gonna use roll some kind of persuasion to
try to get purple to use.

SPEAKER_10 (28:12):
Do you have any skills that persuasion based?
No.
Okay, I'm gonna need a flat six.
He said he made two.
Um I have white hat hacker on myskill list.
White hacker.

SPEAKER_07 (28:27):
White hat hacker.

SPEAKER_10 (28:31):
Um so it's a real term, I promise.
Yeah, it is.
It's not the one that you'rethinking of.
Yeah, the other the other termis Oh, white hat hacker is uh
like a good hacker.
Like generally, they work forthe government.

SPEAKER_07 (28:46):
Yeah, typically, yeah.
You know what the bad hacker iscalled?
A black hat hacker.
Yeah, you know why you know why?

SPEAKER_06 (28:54):
Because racism stupid fedoras.

SPEAKER_07 (28:57):
Racism.
That's the only reason why youhave blacklists and whitelists,
because it's racism.

SPEAKER_06 (29:04):
Well, uh, I'm gonna say you're not doing any
hacking.
You're verbally trying to hackmy fucking dick?

SPEAKER_10 (29:12):
Yeah, I'm gonna go hack your brain.
I don't need to hack your dick.
It's not your brain.

SPEAKER_06 (29:18):
Zeno, what did you roll?

SPEAKER_10 (29:20):
I rolled a two.

SPEAKER_06 (29:22):
Well, you can't even spend all your willpower, so you
are losing control as the voiceright now.
So we are at a bidding war.
Murky's already bidding onepoint.
Do I have two?
We got two from Coco.
We got three from anybody.
What's that, Matt?

SPEAKER_05 (29:38):
I'll give three.
Three?

SPEAKER_07 (29:40):
Do we have a few?
Do you get more willpower?
Or like, is this all we have todo?

SPEAKER_06 (29:44):
There is a way to get more willpower, but it's not
exactly easy.

SPEAKER_07 (29:48):
Yeah.
Well, how do you do it?

SPEAKER_06 (29:51):
Uh, I'm gonna let you guys try to figure that out.
Honestly.

SPEAKER_07 (29:54):
Well, because I'm not betting any more than two
ever, because I have set myselfup for failure.

SPEAKER_06 (30:01):
All right, so Mat Man gains control with three,
bringing him down to four.
All right, Mat Man.
Uh, you are currently on thephone with Coco.
I'm sorry, I am currently on thephone with Coco.

SPEAKER_07 (30:15):
I haven't hung up by now.

SPEAKER_05 (30:17):
No.
No, and the fact that youhaven't makes me very angry.
I would like to set this phoneon fire.

SPEAKER_07 (30:25):
All right.
And likes to watch it.

SPEAKER_05 (30:31):
That is a four.

SPEAKER_06 (30:33):
All right.
Uh, you toss the phone on theground, and because it's Gary,
Indiana, there's alreadyprobably likely gasoline around
your feet.
So you just find another Zippolighter inside of my pocket.
It just is.
I flick it down to the groundand set that bad bitch on fire.
Give yourself two points.
You fucking lit a cigarette andblew up the air.

(30:57):
Alright, man, man.
So you just said uh I just setmyself on fire.
What are you having me do?

SPEAKER_05 (31:03):
Um, are there any more flammable objects nearby?

SPEAKER_07 (31:07):
You know what?
The whole town of Gary.

SPEAKER_05 (31:11):
There's a screen with a bunch of children in it.
That was a six.

SPEAKER_06 (31:16):
That was a six.
All right, goddamn.
So you look around and you see aMcDonald's.

SPEAKER_05 (31:22):
Oh no.
You know what McDonald's alwayshave behind them?
Extremely flammable dumpsters.
You're goddamn right they do.
All right, I would like to setthe dumpster ablaze behind the
golden arches.

SPEAKER_06 (31:39):
So you start walking towards the McDonald's.
However, you hear wee-woo,wee-woo, and you see a bunch of
fire trucks coming towards thedumpster.
You just set ablaze, and nowthey're kind of blocking your
path.
What are you gonna do aboutthat?

SPEAKER_05 (31:56):
I would like to hijack the fire truck.

SPEAKER_06 (31:59):
All right, do you got any skills that can help you
with that?

SPEAKER_05 (32:03):
I do.
I have uh lockpicking.

SPEAKER_10 (32:08):
But what?
Uh picked way more practicalskills than I did.

SPEAKER_06 (32:15):
I'm gonna say that's not gonna help in this
situation.
I'm gonna want to flat reallylock picking a uh okay.

SPEAKER_05 (32:23):
We'll roll it.
You have a lot of people.
I mean at a six.

SPEAKER_06 (32:38):
God damn, okay.
So uh you hop in that I'm sorry,I hop in that bad bitch, and
pretty much like I'm feelingpretty frisky.
I feel like I know how to drivea fire truck.

SPEAKER_07 (32:47):
Never gonna give you a two of my skills.

SPEAKER_06 (32:50):
Never we put that bad bitch in to drive and we go
forward.
However, uh, we don't understandhow the gear shift in this
works, and we just slam rightinto the front of the
McDonald's.
We're fine though.
We wore a seatbelt.
What are we doing?

SPEAKER_10 (33:05):
We wore a seatbelt.

SPEAKER_05 (33:08):
First off, is there gasoline now leaking from the
fire?
There's a lot of diesel justcoming out of that thing.
I would like to set that onfire.

SPEAKER_10 (33:17):
Isn't diesel generally?

SPEAKER_05 (33:23):
No.

SPEAKER_09 (33:25):
Diesel fuel?

SPEAKER_05 (33:26):
Uh that is a three.

SPEAKER_07 (33:27):
Doesn't diesel have to be doesn't diesel have to be
aerosolized to light easier?

SPEAKER_06 (33:34):
To light easier, I guess, but find that out.

SPEAKER_07 (33:36):
Well, I easy is it to burn?
I remember watching an episodeof Mythbusters.
This is the autism coming backfrom me, and uh turns out that
diesel isn't like one of themost uh easy things to light if
it's just on the ground.
And jet fuel is even even harderto light if it's just on the
ground.

SPEAKER_05 (33:51):
Can it burn steel beams?
Look, uh probably is your skillfire starting?

SPEAKER_07 (33:57):
No, my skill is my skill.
My skill is can make TNT andconcrete.

SPEAKER_06 (34:04):
All right, you know what?
Uh, we're gonna say you smashinto the McDonald's, diesel and
body parts are everywherebecause you just hit the
playground that for whateverreason this McDonald's still
has.

SPEAKER_07 (34:16):
Mind you, every time Madman set the fire, he gets two
points.
So I can't even win at thispoint.

SPEAKER_06 (34:22):
I stumble out, and for whatever reason, I bump into
their deep fryer and that poursover into the diesel and it just
explodes.
We go flying out of a window andwe land on the dirt outside.
So uh, what are you doing afterthat?

SPEAKER_05 (34:43):
You know what?
I'm thirsty.
I would like to uh find a beer.

SPEAKER_06 (34:48):
All right, uh roll me a perception.

SPEAKER_05 (34:53):
Come on, sixth streak.
Let's go.
Nope, that's a four.

SPEAKER_06 (34:57):
It's a four, so we got some bidding to do.
All right.
Do I hear a one?
One.
I got one from Xeno.
Do I got a two?
Do I hear a two from anybody?

SPEAKER_02 (35:09):
I'll go two.
Okay.
Oh.

SPEAKER_06 (35:11):
Oh, we got two from Coco.
Do I hear three?
Three from anybody?
Three, three, three, three.
All right.
It's going to Coco, Coco.
Well, you finally have control.
You just I'm sorry, we just gotflung out of a McDonald's.
Why is there?

(35:32):
Because it exploded.

SPEAKER_01 (35:33):
Column.
What?
There's a dick in Coco's column.

SPEAKER_07 (35:40):
Yeah, well, you put that there.

SPEAKER_06 (35:42):
No, it's a uh it's an Among Us spaceman.

SPEAKER_07 (35:45):
Oh I see.
Ah, I see.
Uh that makes sense.
Are we are we trying?
Are we are we able to walkanywhere?

SPEAKER_10 (35:55):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
We're fine.
I think you should walk toCoco's house.

SPEAKER_07 (35:59):
Can I can I just walk and while I'm walking, I
just I just fart.

SPEAKER_06 (36:03):
Oh.
Uh yeah, uh I'm going to say oris that just two, or is that two
actions?
We're gonna say that the walkingis a passive action, but the
fart we're gonna need to roll.
Okay.
Hello.
You need to see if you shityourself or not.
Or I shit myself.

SPEAKER_07 (36:24):
My only skill that could help me was can walk in a
perfectly straight line.

SPEAKER_06 (36:28):
Okay, well, why don't we flip this around then?

SPEAKER_05 (36:31):
If I get my thing, then you can have yours make
sense.

SPEAKER_06 (36:35):
We're gonna say you're gonna roll for the walk
instead of the fart.
We we just got flung around, ourbowels are a little loose.

SPEAKER_07 (36:43):
Alright.
I rolled, I rolled a five.

SPEAKER_06 (36:46):
Alright, you walk in a perfectly straight line and
you just tear fucking ass.
This smells like brimstone.
Because we had Taco Bell earlierin the dumpster.

SPEAKER_07 (36:59):
All right, I'm gonna try to be like the Taco Bell in
the dumpster?

SPEAKER_05 (37:02):
You had Taco Bell what it was clearly a
combination of Taco Bell KFCbecause there were also mashed
potatoes.

SPEAKER_10 (37:08):
Exactly.
Have you seen that there's acombination Taco Bell Long
John's?
Yes.
Why?
That's terrifying.
Because God asked for this.
I kind of wanted it, I'm gonnabe honest.
I may have prayed for it once ortwice.

SPEAKER_02 (37:24):
A what?

SPEAKER_05 (37:29):
That's how you really feel there, Lena.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (37:32):
Well, it is how she really feels.

SPEAKER_07 (37:37):
Well, it sounds really, really lame, but the
only play I really have is tojust keep walking and farting.
I'm just trying to walk my wayout of it, Gary, Indiana.

SPEAKER_10 (37:47):
You should probably walk towards your house, I
think.

SPEAKER_06 (37:50):
How about this, Coco?
Is there a particular place thatwould be good for you to walk
to?
Yes.

SPEAKER_07 (37:55):
I would like I would like to walk towards a movie
theater.

SPEAKER_06 (38:00):
All right.
Uh damn it.
Go ahead and roll me a three orhigher for the walk.

SPEAKER_07 (38:06):
I've rolled a one.

SPEAKER_06 (38:08):
Would you like to spend at least two of your
willpower?

SPEAKER_07 (38:12):
I'll spend two of them at this moment.

SPEAKER_06 (38:14):
All right.
Now, because this is we're gonnasay a 10 minutes or longer thing
that we would have to do to walkin a straight line.
We're gonna say that the braingoes blank for a few minutes and
everybody gets one willpower.

SPEAKER_07 (38:32):
Woo! Oh, yeah?
That's how that works.

SPEAKER_06 (38:37):
Yeah, the brain's gotta rest for at least 10
in-game minutes.
I have to take a shower.

SPEAKER_10 (38:45):
Yes, you do.
You smell like I'm gonna finishthis podcast in the shower.

SPEAKER_07 (38:52):
Nice.
Take us with you.

SPEAKER_10 (38:54):
Yeah, that was the plan.

SPEAKER_06 (38:55):
God damn.
Alright, uh Coco, we're gonnasay that we, after taking a
little brain nap, now I gottaswitch things here.
Do do do Now wake up.

SPEAKER_01 (39:27):
You know what?
That one's not funny.

SPEAKER_07 (39:30):
If I walk to the movie theater, how do I get
there if I wake up somewhereelse?

SPEAKER_06 (39:37):
The magic.
You don't there we go.
I wake up in your driveway beingstared down by the police.

SPEAKER_10 (39:42):
Hell yeah.
Finally we're at Coco's house.

SPEAKER_06 (39:47):
Alright, Coco, you are still in control.

SPEAKER_07 (40:00):
I take all my clothes off.

SPEAKER_06 (40:03):
Um, okay.
Do you have any uh skills thatwould help you with the speed of
that?
Nope.

SPEAKER_05 (40:08):
Just autism.

SPEAKER_06 (40:10):
Nope.
Alright, uh roll me a six.

SPEAKER_07 (40:15):
Nope.
Nope.
Nope, it didn't work.

SPEAKER_06 (40:20):
Uh any points you like to spend, or is this just a
flood now?

SPEAKER_07 (40:23):
Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_06 (40:24):
Alright, so it's going up to a bidding war.
Murky is bidding one point.
Me's two points.
Two points for Xeno.
Three.
Three points for Murky.
Four.
Oh, Xeno wants to spend themall.

SPEAKER_09 (40:40):
Go in all in.
I'll let him have it all in.
I'll let him have it for four.

SPEAKER_06 (40:44):
Alright.
Just know Xeno.
Uh-huh.
Uh, if you lose control, you'reout of the game.
That's okay.
Alright.
So uh you are currently beingstared down by police in Coco's
driveway.

SPEAKER_10 (41:01):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Uh who you gonna make me do?
I'm gonna walk into Coco'shouse.

SPEAKER_06 (41:09):
Uh I'm gonna have you roll for that because right
now you got police followingyou.
Six got anything.
That's six.
All right.
So you get up somehow, you givethe old 5-0 the slip, you go
behind Coco's house and you uhwalk in through the back door.
Giggity, what's she doing?

SPEAKER_07 (41:29):
You gave uh do I see Coco at my house?

SPEAKER_06 (41:32):
Oh, we're we're gonna say that uh you hear him,
but he's not downstairs.

SPEAKER_10 (41:37):
I'm a yellow Coco, I'm here.
Time to fuck.

SPEAKER_06 (41:41):
Uh I I I feel like Coco would probably recognize my
voice and he'd probably be like,What the fuck?
And he would come downstairs.
So Coco has now walked down thestairs and he's looking right at
you, very confused.

SPEAKER_10 (41:54):
Uh, I'm now gonna take my clothes off and present
myself to Coco.
Well, your clothes were alreadyoff.

SPEAKER_06 (42:00):
Are they already off?
I'm gonna say that, you know,uh, according to what we just
spun, we woke up in Coco'sdriveway and we also just
survived like an explosion.
We're gonna say they're prettysinged.
Okay.

SPEAKER_10 (42:16):
I'm gonna take my clothes off.

SPEAKER_06 (42:18):
All right, roll for it.

SPEAKER_10 (42:19):
Tell Coco.
Um, hey, police are here.
I might go to jail.
Let's bang it out real quickbefore I go.

SPEAKER_06 (42:26):
I feel like Coco would actually want to try to
have sex with me, so I'm gonnalet you roll a three or higher.

SPEAKER_10 (42:31):
Hell yeah.
Five.

SPEAKER_06 (42:34):
Alright, so I guess you are getting yourself some
points.

SPEAKER_10 (42:38):
Hell yeah, let's go.

SPEAKER_06 (42:40):
You hear Coco go finally, and he just strips
naked right there and then, andsomehow just a bottle of lube is
thrown down the stairs by gaz.
And uh insert in game boatfanfiction here, I guess.
I'm uncomfortable.

(43:02):
That's well, you should be.
That's what the lube's for.
It's okay, it's the numbingloop, so you're fine.
We're fine.

SPEAKER_07 (43:11):
Dude, at this very moment, I have to take a massive
shit, so this might be a badidea.

SPEAKER_10 (43:18):
Um I am now gonna call Murky.
Uh, how?
Uh with my phone.
My cell phone.
Your phone gonna blow Coco'sfucking idiot.
I'm gonna ask Coco for his cellphone so I can call Murky.

SPEAKER_06 (43:35):
Uh I I feel like at this point Coco would let us do
it.
So we're gonna give you the freepass there.
You you call Murky.
And I'm actually gonna let Murkybe Murky so he actually has a
chance to talk here.

SPEAKER_07 (43:47):
Hey Merky.

SPEAKER_10 (43:48):
I was too autistic for me to be here.
Murky, it's it's E, your friend.

SPEAKER_09 (43:53):
What you doing, Boo-Boo?

SPEAKER_10 (43:55):
Uh, I just had sex with Coco.
That's hot.
Did you film it?
Uh, we didn't.
And that's why I'm calling you.
Okay.
So I need you to come over hereand film it as well as be a part
of the orgy.
Because I might go to jail.
This might be our last chance.

SPEAKER_09 (44:11):
I'm drunk.
I can't drive.

SPEAKER_10 (44:13):
Have Dusty bring you.

SPEAKER_07 (44:15):
This is so accurate.

SPEAKER_10 (44:17):
She's gonna be mad.
She'll be mad.
She can just hang out with gas.

SPEAKER_07 (44:26):
Yeah, they can have sex.

SPEAKER_10 (44:30):
But is it like comfy better than sex with Coco and
me?

SPEAKER_07 (44:38):
I mean, no.
I think you made an argumentagainst coming to my place with
that.

SPEAKER_10 (44:42):
Like, you should just come over and have the sex.
There's door stop! Do I getsuperpowers?
I'll give you sloppy toppy.
Who knows?
Switch might show up.
Switch might show up too.
We're gonna call him next.

SPEAKER_09 (45:00):
If Zeno, can we make sure Xeno doesn't come?
Because we could have a world'sbiggest dick competition or just
a big dick competition and seewho wins.

SPEAKER_10 (45:09):
Yeah, Xeno's not invited.
Zeno's not invited.
We can do that.
But you gotta come over to bang.

SPEAKER_09 (45:16):
We got a ruler.
Right now I'm using my uh oh no,never mind.

SPEAKER_10 (45:19):
This is not this is a skills for Coco's got a
measuring tape that goes up tothree inches, so it should be
all we need.

SPEAKER_03 (45:27):
Clay.

SPEAKER_10 (45:28):
Yeah.
Clay.
So you're coming over?

SPEAKER_09 (45:33):
Uh just drink.

SPEAKER_10 (45:37):
Yeah, but then you come over after that.
Like it's a long drive, so youhave to wait a lot because you
have to cover it.

SPEAKER_07 (45:43):
It takes 45 minutes for him to get to my place.

SPEAKER_10 (45:45):
Yeah, well, we can just wait for you here.
And meanwhile, Coco and I aregonna keep banging, so like
might be dried up by the timeyou get here.
So you might want to put pedalto the metal.

SPEAKER_09 (45:55):
You normally smoke it a little bit, like they're
gonna arrest me.

SPEAKER_06 (45:58):
Alright, Zeno, I'm gonna need you to roll me a six.
And hard to see if Murky'scoming.
Six suck it! Alright, uh, youconvinced Murky, he probably
gets tired of having thisbackhand.

SPEAKER_10 (46:17):
Fuck you.
No.
You're coming over and havingsex.

SPEAKER_05 (46:23):
Alright, but now he understands what experiences are
for.

SPEAKER_06 (46:29):
We hear knocking coming from upstairs, and we uh
we know it's the police, they'relooking for us.
We know it's the police.
What what are you gonna do inthis situation?

SPEAKER_10 (46:43):
Uh, do you have any weapons in your house?
No.
Why not?
Because he has the keyblade.

SPEAKER_07 (46:52):
Because I would be a but I would be a detriment to
myself.

SPEAKER_10 (46:57):
Um I'm gonna go to the kitchen and I'm gonna grab
the biggest knives I can find.

SPEAKER_07 (47:02):
Why don't you just answer?

SPEAKER_06 (47:03):
Alright, uh roll me for a perception.
I'm gonna need a six.

SPEAKER_10 (47:07):
Perception?

SPEAKER_06 (47:08):
Yeah, you're looking.

SPEAKER_10 (47:10):
Oh six.

SPEAKER_07 (47:12):
This is bullshit.

SPEAKER_10 (47:15):
Getting the getting alright.

SPEAKER_06 (47:20):
So you find the biggest knife that you can
possibly find in the drawer, butuh gas is just let the police in
and they see you holding aknife.

SPEAKER_10 (47:29):
Yep, and you're gonna attack them.

SPEAKER_06 (47:31):
And you're fully butt-naked, probably with a
little bit of a second.

SPEAKER_10 (47:36):
I'm gonna attack them, and I have a blade master
skill.

SPEAKER_07 (47:41):
There's no way I get to anything as naked and not get
in trouble now.

SPEAKER_06 (47:46):
Three.
All right, you stab one of thecops in the throat, and the
other one looks on in horror asyou pull out the knife and stab
it right into their eye.

SPEAKER_10 (47:57):
Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_06 (47:58):
Gaz is now screaming in horror as Coco is running up
the stairs naked and limping.

SPEAKER_10 (48:07):
So you're saying that Coco was the bottom.
Oh, we switched.
Oh, okay.
I'm gonna look at Coco and say,You want to fuck again?

SPEAKER_06 (48:17):
Uh, you know what?
That's gonna have to be uhpersuasion.
Roll me uh six.
Yeah, I rolled a one.
Womp, womp.
Zeno is now out of the game.
So this is now a bidding warbetween murky, cocoa and mat
man.
We got one point from murky.
I'll go two.

(48:37):
Got two points for Mat Man.
Do I got a three, three pointsfrom anybody?
Three points from Murky.
Do I hear four?

SPEAKER_05 (48:45):
Let's do four.

SPEAKER_06 (48:46):
Four points from Mat Man.
Do I hear five?

SPEAKER_07 (48:49):
I'll throw five.
You don't have points, dumbmotherfucker.

SPEAKER_06 (48:53):
All right.
Matman, you just uh came intothe brain of E, who is
completely naked, just had sexwith Coco, and uh is probably
covered in blood right now fromthe two dead police officers.

SPEAKER_10 (49:10):
Also just came in Coco.
Yo.
There's probably Coco coming metoo.

SPEAKER_05 (49:16):
Coco rejecting my second sexual advantages.
Advances.
Advances words.
Um, has made me angry.
And now I want to word down hishouse.

SPEAKER_06 (49:30):
Okay.
Uh you know what?
There you're in this kitchen.
There is liquor there.
So uh remember.

SPEAKER_10 (49:35):
There is a lot of cardboard boxes, too.

SPEAKER_06 (49:38):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 (49:39):
A lot of fuel.

SPEAKER_07 (49:41):
There's a lot of fucking laboo boos just sitting
everywhere.
You could set those on fire too.
That's three.

SPEAKER_06 (49:48):
So you just start grabbing liquor and just pouring
them all over the differentlaboo-boos.
You take a candle that gassomehow lit and just toss it on
top of the biggest laboo-boo.
And it just turns into amushroom cloud in there.
Or I leave.
Can I grab a beer?

SPEAKER_07 (50:08):
I don't have beer at my house.
Joke's on you.
There is beer in your house.
What do you mean?
Oh it's in the pantry.
We have beer in my pantry?

SPEAKER_10 (50:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (50:20):
Oh fuck.
Put it away.
I didn't even know that.

SPEAKER_06 (50:23):
Um, do you have any kind of like quickhand skills
there?

SPEAKER_05 (50:28):
Uh no, I can lockpick, identify plants and
animals, and start fires.
Well, then you need to roll me asix.

SPEAKER_07 (50:35):
Yeah, Matman burned down our house.

SPEAKER_05 (50:37):
Here we go.

SPEAKER_07 (50:38):
Yeah, Matman burned down the house.
And you watched, you watched,also watched uh Xeno or Busy
Locate controlling E stab aball.

SPEAKER_06 (50:46):
You somehow over to the pantry, you grab yourself a
beer, you jump out the window,gloss out the hair.
Also, also I had so bad now, anduh you're outside holding a beer
naked, covered in blood, andsin.

SPEAKER_05 (51:01):
Um, the cop cars.
Let's set the cop cars on fire.

SPEAKER_07 (51:09):
Did you guys hear any of that?

SPEAKER_06 (51:11):
So you chuck a beer.
Wait, no, uh, roll roll me athree or higher.
It has to be three or higher.
That's another six.
You chuck the beer at the copcar, and uh somehow you shit out
a Zippo lighter again and chuckit at the cop car and set it on
fire.
How it got up there, it'sprobably Coco.

(51:33):
Yeah, yeah, at this point.

SPEAKER_05 (51:34):
That's the the best bet.
Um okay, so now the cop car's onfire.
Um Coco's house is on fire.

SPEAKER_07 (51:44):
Gaz is upset that we're homeless now.
She wouldn't do good on thestreets.
Direct quote from her.

SPEAKER_10 (51:52):
I wouldn't do good on the streets.

SPEAKER_05 (51:55):
Um, let's start walking to the strip club.

SPEAKER_06 (52:01):
Okay, uh me as six or higher.
Yeah, it's four.
Well, you can't even spend thatone point.
So uh voices is up for grabsright now.
Do I have one?
We got one from Murky.
Do I got two?
Two from Coco.
Do I got a three?
We got three from Murky.

(52:22):
Do I got four?
Okay.
Murky finally gains controlagain.
Finally.
All right.
So you are in front of Coco'sburning house next to a burning
cop car.
You are butt ass naked, coveredin blood, holding a knife.

SPEAKER_07 (52:38):
Also, Murky's driving to my house right now.

SPEAKER_06 (52:40):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (52:41):
You're not me now.
No, but like you are driving tomy house because of the phone
calls.

SPEAKER_09 (52:51):
I'd like to stay outside, and when Murky arrives
um with my smooth talker skill,I'd like to challenge him to a
penis measuring contest.

SPEAKER_01 (53:02):
Well, he murky here.
Six.
God damn.

SPEAKER_06 (53:12):
So uh you convince yourself to do a penis measuring
competition.
Because you know what?
You had a few Jack and Cokes onthe way there.
You're like, you know what?
Fuck yeah, let's see this.
And a beer.

SPEAKER_07 (53:24):
I don't want to say I don't want to say this is lore
accurate.

SPEAKER_09 (53:29):
Yeah, so I got three pins for the contest.

unknown (53:32):
Oh god.

SPEAKER_09 (53:33):
Are you gonna have sex?
That's one of my goals.

SPEAKER_10 (53:37):
And a world is very important if they have sex.

SPEAKER_09 (53:40):
Yeah, and a big cock competition and win, and he's
definitely beat me, so you'regonna have sex though.

SPEAKER_06 (53:47):
Alright, so you just had a penis measuring
competition with yourself.
Uh what what next?

SPEAKER_01 (53:53):
Um remember what you're there for.

SPEAKER_00 (53:58):
I would like to do the sex.

SPEAKER_09 (54:01):
Oh yeah, I mean, I definitely you know, yeah, I'd
use my smooth talker to try tofuck.

SPEAKER_08 (54:09):
Alright, who you have and have another penis
measuring contest.

SPEAKER_06 (54:15):
Uh, we're gonna say you have to do the penis
measuring competition withsomebody new that isn't you.

SPEAKER_09 (54:22):
Oh, I'm gonna drag out Coco's carcass and measure
it.

SPEAKER_06 (54:26):
Alright, so uh Coco's only uh house is on fire.

SPEAKER_09 (54:31):
I mean, did he get out?
Yeah.
Well, you killed all my cats.

SPEAKER_06 (54:35):
Oh, we're gonna say the cats are fine.
However, you need to run intothe burning building to find
Coco.
He hasn't made it out yet.

SPEAKER_05 (54:43):
Brutally murdering cops is fine.

SPEAKER_06 (54:45):
I've never had a line with the so do you have
anything that would help youlook through a burning building
as a skill?
Uh Pokemon Master.

SPEAKER_07 (54:56):
Get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_06 (55:00):
You know what?
Coco is probably trying to graball his Pokemon cards.
I'll allow it.
Three or higher.
Three.
God damn.
So you run in, you know exactlywhere Coco's office is, you
start booking it upstairsthrough the smoke and the fire
and everything else that uhDragon Force sang about, and

(55:24):
whoop boom, there's a buttassnaked Coco trying to save all
the Pokemon cards in his room.

SPEAKER_09 (55:29):
Uh, I'd like to uh yellow Coco penis measuring
competition.
I win, and then I'm gonna kickhim down and steal all the cards
so I can have a completelyawesome card collection, which
will then give me two points.

SPEAKER_06 (55:44):
Alright, so let's start with the first one.
I need a three or higher toconvince him for the penis
measuring competition.

SPEAKER_01 (55:53):
Six.

SPEAKER_06 (55:55):
Alright, so you fully convince Coco to do the
penis measuring competition, butit's not that hard because his
dick was already out and so isyours, so you can kind of do a
side by side.
Give yourself those threepoints.
But uh, do you have anythingthat's good for uh pushing or
shoving as a skill?

SPEAKER_10 (56:13):
No, he has fucking blind and Pokemon Master.

SPEAKER_06 (56:18):
I'm gonna need uh six.

SPEAKER_00 (56:24):
Oh, that's a one.
That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_06 (56:27):
You could spend five points to get the point.

SPEAKER_09 (56:34):
I'm sorry, uh five willpower.
To get the two points for thecard collection.

SPEAKER_06 (56:41):
Yep.
Or you can uh bring this up to abit.

SPEAKER_09 (56:49):
Alright, you know what?
Yeah, go ahead.
We'll spend the five.

SPEAKER_06 (56:53):
Alright.
So uh as Coco is looking betweenour junk, we pull a uh Cobra
Kai, we sweep the leg, he fallsdown the stairs.
Pokemon cars go everywhere, butas that's happening, we're just
picking them up left, right, andcenter, and we uh book it out of
the building.

SPEAKER_09 (57:14):
All the EX's.
Um on the way out, can I getCoco's keys?
Because you know, we obviouslyI've been to Coco's, I know
where he keeps his keys at.

SPEAKER_07 (57:24):
Or does he keep his keys?
No, you don't! They're in adifferent place every time.
Even I don't know where I keepthem.

SPEAKER_06 (57:31):
I'm gonna need a six.

SPEAKER_01 (57:33):
Damn.

SPEAKER_06 (57:34):
Damn.
Three.
You could spend the last of yourthree points to try to get those
keys, but if you fail again,it's over.
I hope I'm gonna hold off there.
Alright, we got a bidding wargoing on.
Do I got one point to controlme?

SPEAKER_07 (57:55):
I'll put one in.
Fuck it, I'll get one.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (57:58):
Alright, alright.
Matt Man's at one point.
Do I hear two?
I'll put two.
Alright, we got two points.
Do I hear three?
Alright, Coco's got it with twopoints.
Woo! Alright, Coco.
Uh, you are currently in themiddle of your burning house as

(58:21):
me, completely naked, covered inblood, and singed a little bit
while holding a knife.

SPEAKER_01 (58:26):
I walked to work.

SPEAKER_06 (58:29):
You walk to work?

SPEAKER_01 (58:30):
Yep.

SPEAKER_06 (58:32):
Uh, three or higher.

SPEAKER_07 (58:36):
Wrote a five.

SPEAKER_06 (58:38):
All right.
I'm going.
Wait, you work from home.

SPEAKER_07 (58:42):
No, but it's you.

SPEAKER_06 (58:44):
Oh, it's me.
That is right.
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (58:47):
Also, my house is burning down, so I don't work
from home anymore.

SPEAKER_05 (58:52):
You work from the streets now.

SPEAKER_06 (58:55):
There we go.
It's gonna take a little longerthan 10 minutes, so everybody
but Zeno gets restored onepoint.
Oh Zeno is out.
Ooh, this man.
Fuck you.
Alright, so it took you a fewhours, but you're finally down
there in good old uh Elmer'sauto body collision center

(59:18):
repair thingy.
What you doing?
Do you just dox yourself?
There's plenty of those.
Man, there's a lot of placescalled that.

SPEAKER_07 (59:27):
Nearby where we're talking about other city names.
Never know.
Um, I just do my job.
What is your job?
Edit that out.

SPEAKER_09 (59:38):
Edit that out, Kogo.
Do your job.

SPEAKER_06 (59:41):
No, I'm not editing anything out.
Do you do you have any skillsthat help with the job that I
do?
No.
Do you know what I do?
Uh you do something with paint.

SPEAKER_05 (59:53):
Take sandpaper to car.
Yes.
That is true.
That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_06 (59:58):
Do you have any skills that would help?
You put sandpaper to a car.

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:01):
I have can make TNT, can pour concrete, and can walk
in a straight line.
Do you think I fucking haveanything?

SPEAKER_06 (01:00:07):
No, roll me a six.
No, roll me a six.

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:11):
Well, guess fucking what, bitch.
It's a six.
And if I was and did I get introuble for going to work and
doing my job naked?

SPEAKER_06 (01:00:21):
Uh, I feel like our boss, I say our because Xeno
works with me, uh, wouldprobably be very concerned.

SPEAKER_10 (01:00:30):
He would be very concerned.

SPEAKER_06 (01:00:32):
But uh, I feel like he's gonna look the other way
because uh, you know what?
He's just glad I showed uptoday.

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:39):
Good.
That's fucking I got threepoints.
Everybody showed up for threepoints for going to work naked.
Fucking Christ.

SPEAKER_06 (01:00:51):
All right, so uh, you know what?
The work day's over.
We worked the whole day naked.
Somehow we did not sandpaper offour own wiener, and uh, what are
you doing?

SPEAKER_07 (01:01:00):
I'd like to fucking end the day off with a nice,
relaxing, loud fart.

SPEAKER_06 (01:01:07):
Okay, uh, run me a six or higher.

SPEAKER_07 (01:01:10):
Well, fuck.
That's a one.

SPEAKER_06 (01:01:13):
Ooh, you could spend five points to try to get it.
Okay, it is up to a bidding war.
Do I hear a one?
We got one from Murky, we gottwo from Mat Man.
Do I got three?
Going once, going twice.
All right, Mat Man.
If you fail a roll, you are outof the game.

(01:01:35):
So uh work days over.
You are standing outside, darkass naked, covered in blood,
probably still holding a knife.
What are you doing?

SPEAKER_07 (01:01:46):
It's now no, he left the knife in his toolbox.
He's got two tools now.

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:52):
So uh you said I'm at home?
No, you are outside of work.
Okay, so outside of work.
All right, set that place onfire.

SPEAKER_06 (01:02:01):
All right, roll me a three or higher.
The four.
Uh your bloodlust just goescrazy.
You walk in, you knock over allthe stuff on Xeno's desk, and
for whatever reason, he just hasa box of matches there.
You happen to flick one, set iton the ground, walk away, as you

(01:02:25):
see the flames start to trickleup.
We're gonna say that uh nobodyreally catches the fire, and uh
the whole place goes that'sfucked.

SPEAKER_10 (01:02:39):
There's a lot of stuff that's very flammable
inside of that shot.
Yeah, yeah, there is.

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:46):
Uh what else seems flammable around me?
Oh goodness, no rework.
Sorry.

SPEAKER_07 (01:02:54):
Give a very detailed picture so that somebody can
find it on Street View.

SPEAKER_10 (01:02:58):
There's a grocery store down the street.

SPEAKER_06 (01:03:00):
There is a grocery store just down the street.
There's a new apartment complexliterally across Bro, you guys
have given a name near therental center.

SPEAKER_07 (01:03:10):
There is a rental center.
You are literally doxingyourself.
There's also a park that's youknow just a block away.

SPEAKER_10 (01:03:19):
There's a salvation army.

SPEAKER_07 (01:03:20):
I'm going up fucking burning up the salvation army.

SPEAKER_06 (01:03:27):
There's also a uh homeless shelter like a few
blocks away.

SPEAKER_05 (01:03:31):
Yeah.
Not going that far.
Can't can't bring myself tothat.
But the salvation army, thatplace is going up.

SPEAKER_06 (01:03:37):
All right, we walk down to the salvation army.
Uh, you see that there's acouple of people in there
shopping and whatnot.
What are you doing?
Um lighting something on fire.
Okay, we're gonna say it's thedonation bin to start with.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:55):
Go ahead and roll me to your higher.

SPEAKER_06 (01:03:57):
Uh uh one.
Oof.
Matman is out of the game.
All right, we got murky, we gotCoco.
Starting the bit off with one.
All right, I heard Coco first.
Murky, do you want to bid two?

SPEAKER_09 (01:04:19):
We'll bid two.

SPEAKER_06 (01:04:21):
We bet two.
Coco, do I hear three?
Nope.
All right, murky takes controlof my buddy.
You are outside of the salvationarmy holding a knife, naked,
covered in blood, probably alittle poo.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:37):
A little poo.
You know, butt sex with Coco.
Oh, okay.
Um I would like.

SPEAKER_06 (01:04:56):
Alright, god dang it.
So uh you walk in, you do asquat in the middle of one of
the aisles, and you need to rollme a six or higher.

SPEAKER_09 (01:05:06):
I want it on the actually on the counter.
Well, I threaten the cashier togive me the money, and I want to
use smooth talker to do it.

SPEAKER_06 (01:05:15):
Give me that money, or this shit's going on you
next.
Okay, so you're you're trying torob them, you're threatening
them with shit, roll me a threeor higher.

SPEAKER_09 (01:05:23):
Shit's a powerful weapon.
That's the monkeys.
That's a two, actually.

SPEAKER_06 (01:05:29):
That's the monkeys.
So you could give up onewillpower to make this
successful.
Yeah, yeah, we'll go one.
Alright.
One last.
So you successfully threaten thecashier by pointing our ass
straight at them and throwing itthem with just a stream of shit.

(01:05:50):
They give you all the money inthe register, which isn't a lot
because it's a salvation army.

unknown (01:05:55):
Right.

SPEAKER_09 (01:05:55):
I got I guess I have the equivalent of like$23.

SPEAKER_06 (01:06:00):
It was probably like $25 change.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:04):
What what did you get?

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:08):
$25 for some change.
$25.

SPEAKER_05 (01:06:11):
Okay.
Is there any telling where that$25 came from?
Uh the the register?
Okay.
Damn.
I'm not gonna push this further.
I'm already, I'm good.

SPEAKER_09 (01:06:23):
Um uh see if there's anyone I can uh run up and I'm
just gonna throw dollar bills atpeople and say dick contest, and
because they're in jeans andit's like tucked in, I'm just
gonna assume I win all thewiener contests.
How many people are in theSalvation Army?

SPEAKER_06 (01:06:43):
Oh, we said there was like four people in there.
So uh roll me a three or higher.

SPEAKER_09 (01:06:48):
Like four four competitions here.
Oh off the desk.
Uh three.

SPEAKER_06 (01:06:54):
All right, go ahead and give yourself that uh point.
We're gonna say that youconvince one person to do it.
You're gonna need to do it threemore times to try to convince
the other people.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:07):
Alright, another roll still at three.

SPEAKER_09 (01:07:10):
Yep, still three.
We're trying to smooth talk thenext one.
That's off that's a two on theground.

SPEAKER_06 (01:07:19):
You could give up your last willpower in order to
get that point.
I'm doing it.
We're going to we're fuckingbetting high.
Alright, just know if you failedthis next one.
You're out of the game, and Cocois the last voice.

SPEAKER_09 (01:07:32):
I just get six turns in a row.
I have four I have fourteenpoints right now based off just
big dick competitions.
And I got to do that.
Alright, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (01:07:46):
I don't think we're going for right here to be six.
Alright, give yourself thosepoints.
You got one more person.
Roll me a three or higher.

SPEAKER_09 (01:07:59):
Um, I'd actually like to light this last person
on five.

SPEAKER_06 (01:08:03):
Wow.
Okay.
That's gonna have to be a six.

SPEAKER_09 (01:08:08):
That's a six.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Let's go.

SPEAKER_06 (01:08:12):
You feel the voice of Matman whispering behind your
ears, going, set him ablaze, sethim ablaze.
You knock him down somehow,since it's salvation army,
they're drunk there, anyways.
There's vodka behind thecounter.
You splash this motherfuckerwith vodka and set him ablaze
with his own fucking cigarette.

(01:08:33):
And uh you uh stand above aburning body.
What are you doing?

SPEAKER_09 (01:08:41):
Walk out of the salvation army.
Okay, you do so.
Light the salvation army onfire.

SPEAKER_06 (01:08:49):
All right.
Roll me a six or higher to setthe whole place on fire.
One murky out of the game.
Coco, you are the last remainingvoice.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:03):
Does that just mean I do six turns in a row, just
one each?

SPEAKER_09 (01:09:06):
Yeah, pretty much.
We just gotta not fuck up, sothat's gonna cost you all your
points at once.

SPEAKER_06 (01:09:11):
Uh so each sale will cost you one point.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:14):
Yeah, pretty much.
Uh so I would like to just walkback to work where there once
was a building and just walkthere while I'm naked.
Does this does that count as notgetting in trouble and going to
work?

SPEAKER_06 (01:09:33):
Uh I'm gonna say the we said that the work day was
over.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:37):
I say go to work naked and don't get in trouble.
So just going to the work areacount.

SPEAKER_06 (01:09:44):
Um you know what?
You're gonna have to make yourway inside the building.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:50):
Okay, well, I'm gonna open the the fucking door
and walk in the burning buildingthat's that's probably still
there at this point.

SPEAKER_06 (01:09:59):
All right, uh, roll me a three or higher for your
walk straight.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:03):
I rolled a three.

SPEAKER_06 (01:10:05):
Alright.
So you walk in, uh, you arebuttass naked at work, and uh
you're not getting in troublebecause uh there's nobody there
to get you in trouble.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:15):
All right.
Uh would you say that I couldmake TNT out of my fart, like as
an ingredient?
There's gotta be other stuff Ican use.
Turkey's got a gallon of milk.
There's gotta be other stuff Ican do.
Would you say a fart is aningredient in TNT?
Like methane or some shit likethat.

(01:10:37):
I'm really stretching.

SPEAKER_06 (01:10:39):
Neither methane nor Sidon is death that I pushed
over.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:43):
I'm really stretching for this one, Matt.
I see.

SPEAKER_06 (01:10:47):
You know what just gets you some points, we'll
we'll say yes.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:50):
Okay, well, I'm gonna fart really loud and
collect the methane to make aDNT bulb.

SPEAKER_06 (01:10:56):
Okay, uh, roll me a six.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:58):
Uh it did well, uh, did not did not work.
I got a one.

SPEAKER_06 (01:11:04):
Okay, that's gonna drop you down to a five.
You can try again.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:08):
Uh no, I'm gonna how how close is the movie theater
to where I'm at?
Um if I were to walk to a movietheater, would it would it be
longer than 10 minutes?
Or at this point, are you justgonna let me walk to the movie
theater?

SPEAKER_06 (01:11:22):
I'm just gonna let you walk to the movie theater at
this point.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:24):
I'm gonna walk to the movie theater.

SPEAKER_06 (01:11:26):
Alright, you have walked to a movie theater.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:29):
Alright.
Gonna go watch a movie.

SPEAKER_06 (01:11:32):
Um, so they try to stop you at the door because uh
you're naked, kept in blood,holding a knife, and there's a
little bit of poop on your dick.
Uh you need to try to convincethem to let you in.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:45):
I'm cosplaying as that new character from that new
movie.

SPEAKER_06 (01:11:53):
Roll me a six, because I know you ain't got
persuasion.
Uh I rolled a four.
You can spend two of your pointsto make a spend two of my
points.
All right.
So your willpower is now at athree.
Uh they're just kind of like,oh, uh new Five Nights at
Freddy's movie.

(01:12:13):
Yeah, I'm pretty I'm pretty surethere's an animatronic that
looks like this.
Uh yeah, come on in.
So uh you walk in, you uh buyyourself a ticket, you sit down
in the theater.
It's uh it's a little chafy.
They're the new reclining seatsthat are made out of that fake
plastic leverage.

(01:12:38):
Roll me a six.

SPEAKER_07 (01:12:42):
I rolled a fucking six.

SPEAKER_06 (01:12:45):
You do so.
You just uh let out the wettestsounding possible fart, and a
little poop comes out, and youjust sit in the chair the whole
time.

SPEAKER_07 (01:12:57):
Oh my fucking Christ.
Uh I and then I fuck okay.
So I leave the movie theater uhafter that.
All right, uh, and and I do sowith my ass now covered in shit.
I try to leave let out thebiggest fart and try to like,
you know, get the shit to sprayeverywhere while I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_09 (01:13:15):
It's gotta be really like hippopotamus or shit.

SPEAKER_07 (01:13:18):
I was just about to say like one of hippo shit.
Yeah, like that.
It's gotta be roll me a six.
Uh it's a it's a four, so Iwould like to spend two to just
do that.

SPEAKER_06 (01:13:31):
All right.
So you are down to one pointnow.
I still think one will powerpoint.

SPEAKER_07 (01:13:36):
I still think I'm very far away from this.

SPEAKER_06 (01:13:39):
Um, so there's just shit everywhere in this fucking
parking lot now.

SPEAKER_07 (01:13:46):
My only play is to just keep farting at this point
and hope I roll a goddamn six.
Otherwise, I have to go backinto the movie theater and shit
in another seat.
Or I gotta go back to work.

SPEAKER_06 (01:14:00):
Well, what's your plan here?

SPEAKER_07 (01:14:02):
I've gotta fucking let out another fart.
I'm trying to blow a crater inthis parking lot.

SPEAKER_06 (01:14:08):
Oh, I roll me a six.

SPEAKER_07 (01:14:11):
It's a four! So I can't, I can't, I can't increase
it, but I can use my last pointto keep going.
And I'm gonna try one last timeto shit or fart so fucking loud
that I blow this movie theateroff the ground.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:28):
I'm telling you, if he rolls a six, it's gonna be
like Xeno's basement all overagain.

SPEAKER_07 (01:14:32):
Yeah, it was a one.

SPEAKER_06 (01:14:33):
It comes out like alright, everybody.
Please tally up your scores andlet's hear what you got.

SPEAKER_10 (01:14:45):
Fucking.

SPEAKER_06 (01:14:45):
We're gonna start with Xeno.
Zeno, what you got?

SPEAKER_10 (01:14:48):
I have one.

SPEAKER_06 (01:14:49):
All right, Zeno only has one point.
Murky, what you got?

SPEAKER_07 (01:14:54):
Uh I got 17.

unknown (01:14:55):
What?

SPEAKER_06 (01:14:56):
17?
God damn.

SPEAKER_07 (01:14:57):
And what?
That beats me.

SPEAKER_05 (01:14:59):
Let them win all those big dick contests.

SPEAKER_09 (01:15:01):
Yeah.
My impossible, nearly impossibleone was enter big cock
competition and win.
Slash, I did put slash spidermanpowers afterwards because I made
Xeno.

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:16):
You got the wrong autistic.
I'm sorry.
Coca, how many points do youhave?

SPEAKER_07 (01:15:22):
I have I have ten.

SPEAKER_05 (01:15:26):
And Matman.
I have 15.

SPEAKER_06 (01:15:30):
Oh.
Alrighty, so that means Xenogets absolutely nothing because
he came in fourth.

SPEAKER_07 (01:15:38):
Matman gets the best.

SPEAKER_06 (01:15:39):
He is a loser.
Nice.
I think Mercury should get twopoints deducted for having you
get a crisp high five Coco.

SPEAKER_09 (01:15:53):
Pokemon Master and Spoo Talker were good.

SPEAKER_07 (01:15:57):
Your other skill was I have eyeballs.
That can't see so well.
That can't see.
I wear glasses.
What a speech.

SPEAKER_06 (01:16:09):
My skill is technically right with that.
I do wear glasses.
Uh Matt Man, you get yourfavorite candy.

SPEAKER_07 (01:16:19):
Arguably the best prize out of everything here.

SPEAKER_06 (01:16:22):
Well, Murky, you are gonna get a sad hand job from
our listener, Flarha.

SPEAKER_07 (01:16:29):
Behind a Denny specifically.
Why is your hand movement sofucking accurate there, Murky?
Do you have practice with that?

SPEAKER_06 (01:16:38):
Yeah.
What do you think he did withXeno?
I don't think I can do that.

SPEAKER_09 (01:16:42):
Sometimes you gotta pay rent, you know, and you
ain't got the money.
You ain't got the money.

SPEAKER_07 (01:16:49):
That's fucking wild.
I don't believe it for a secondbecause you know what?

SPEAKER_09 (01:16:52):
I cover it and Bill call crazy.
It fucking works every time.
Dude, I thought you lit.
I thought you listened to it.

SPEAKER_07 (01:17:02):
Well, I think I know what Batman's objective was.
Yeah.
At least set things on fire.
Setting things on fire.
Or is your easy one?
Get a beer.
I feel like you I feel like setthings on fire was much easier
for you than getting a beer.
I didn't have any skills to helpme get a beer.

SPEAKER_06 (01:17:24):
Oh, by the way, uh, small little retcon.
The uh cop that you stabbed inthe eye was actually switch.
He was dropping in for asurprise visit because he heard
there was gonna be an orgy, anduh he was thinking somebody from
the village people.

SPEAKER_07 (01:17:41):
That's crazy.

SPEAKER_06 (01:17:45):
Oh my god, you killed switchy.
You know, I I I had a littlebloodlust, I'm sorry.
Fucking Coco will do that.

SPEAKER_10 (01:17:54):
Well, my skills were Olympic swimmer, white hat
hacker, and blade master.
Uh I'm sure you can guess whatmy one objective was.
Uh the easy objective was tobang Coco.

SPEAKER_06 (01:18:09):
You put that as your easy?

SPEAKER_10 (01:18:11):
Yeah, because you know how easy it was to bang
Coco?
I you used a lot of points toget there.
I showed up at his house and hewanted to fuck though.
And then uh the risky one was tobang E.
Um, because Shannon would getupset about it.
What do you mean?

SPEAKER_07 (01:18:30):
Bang yourself?

SPEAKER_10 (01:18:32):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (01:18:33):
You why didn't you just have to masturbate?
Masturbation.

SPEAKER_10 (01:18:38):
See, I didn't know that we were playing this game
before I fucking wrote out myintention.

SPEAKER_05 (01:18:42):
We did not know.
We did not know.

SPEAKER_10 (01:18:44):
Uh and then the the object.
Doing me, then the impossibleobjective was banging murky.
Why was it murky?
He's a prude.
You don't put it out foranybody.

SPEAKER_07 (01:18:56):
I get hang on, let me let me back up.
I was gonna say you, but again,you didn't know that you were
gonna be E in this scenariobecause banging you would have
been the really hard task.

SPEAKER_10 (01:19:06):
Yeah.
Uh I was thinking from myperspective, banging Coco is
easy.
Coco wants to bang me.
Yeah, my banging E is riskybecause E does want to bang me.
However, Shannon would be upset,and it could ruin both of our
lives.
Banging Murky is impossiblebecause he's fucking a prude and

(01:19:28):
won't give it up.

SPEAKER_07 (01:19:29):
Man, my skills, my skills were can walk in a
perfectly straight line, canpour concrete, and can make TNT.

SPEAKER_05 (01:19:39):
I can pick blocks, start fires, and identify plants
and animals.

SPEAKER_07 (01:19:42):
I think you guys were your objectives.
My objectives were fart reallyloud, uh, shit my pants in a
movie theater and sit throughthe whole movie.
Uh, and then also go to worknaked and don't get in trouble.

SPEAKER_06 (01:19:56):
Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on.
You're Risky was shit your pantsat a movie theater.

SPEAKER_07 (01:20:05):
Well, let me put it this way
it.

SPEAKER_06 (01:20:09):
Yeah, but it wasn't risky.

SPEAKER_07 (01:20:12):
I'm still in second place or third place.
Xeno had one point.

SPEAKER_06 (01:20:18):
Yeah, that's fair.
I'll still let you.

SPEAKER_07 (01:20:21):
I go down to eight.
Whoop de fucking doom.
I'm still third, guys.
Wow.

SPEAKER_09 (01:20:30):
So I had messaged E before, and I was like, so I
made Sean.
I made Xen now.

SPEAKER_06 (01:20:36):
Yeah, when I was reading, I was like, oh no.

SPEAKER_09 (01:20:39):
I was like, so I made Pokemon Master, Smooth
Talker, and yeah, bad eyesight.
Whatever.
Glasses equipped.
Bad eyesight.
Or my my easy goal, which shouldbe an easy thing to attain, is
own a car that's not been in anaccident.
Yeah, it should have been easy.

SPEAKER_07 (01:20:58):
Own a car that's not in an accident.

SPEAKER_06 (01:21:01):
You should actually give yourself an extra point
there, Murky, because I do own acar that has not been in an
accident.

SPEAKER_07 (01:21:06):
So 18.
Are you sure about that afterMadman started setting
everything on fire?

SPEAKER_06 (01:21:12):
Yeah, but he didn't set my car on fire.

SPEAKER_01 (01:21:16):
Needed.
I see.
I hope your hand is ready forwhat Murky's about to give it.

SPEAKER_06 (01:21:36):
And uh Madman, I'll be sending you gummy bears
pretty soon.

SPEAKER_10 (01:21:42):
Yeah.
Give them the sugar-free ones.

SPEAKER_07 (01:21:45):
I feel like runner up.
I feel like runner up was theway to go in this one.

SPEAKER_06 (01:21:51):
Well Coco, next time I see you, you get a crisp high
five.
I was gonna get that anyway.

SPEAKER_07 (01:21:57):
You're gonna next time I see you, I'm gonna forget
that this even happened, andyou're just gonna give me a high
five, and I'm gonna be like,okay, cool.
You go into the uh the uh theNew Year's thing at Murky's.
I don't know if he invited you.
He did.
Yeah.
Okay.
They just nobody looks atFacebook.

SPEAKER_10 (01:22:16):
So they actually didn't see the invitation until
I told E about it.

SPEAKER_07 (01:22:19):
Oh, yeah.
Well, everybody learned, Dustylearned that nobody looks at
Facebook for events.

SPEAKER_10 (01:22:26):
Yeah, I didn't either.
The only reason I knew about itis because Krista told me about
it.

SPEAKER_07 (01:22:33):
Murky was like, You coming to my place for fucking
New Year's?
And I was like, Yeah, if I'minvited, and he's like, Well,
yeah, we sent the invite out,and I was like, What the fuck
you mean?
I see no invite, and Dusty'slike, well, I said it on
Facebook, and I'm like, ah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:22:45):
Well, you're telling me this motherfucker didn't
invite me.

SPEAKER_10 (01:22:49):
That's crazy.
Shut the fuck up.
It's like Dusty didn't inviteyou.

SPEAKER_04 (01:22:55):
Yeah, I'm not even on Facebook.
It's wild.
That's your wife, and she didn'tinvite you.

SPEAKER_10 (01:23:03):
Well, your wife didn't invite you.
That's fucked up.
Yeah, get the fuck out.

SPEAKER_04 (01:23:08):
I go screen craft throw up now.

SPEAKER_10 (01:23:10):
Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 (01:23:12):
Alright, well, I think we actually five thousand
hours.

SPEAKER_07 (01:23:16):
So is Farha gonna reach out to me for the handy?
Bro, I'm still waiting for afamily portrait from Farha.
Do you remember when it likebefore he stopped streaming
where he did like the deal orno-deal stuff?
Oh yeah.
I never got my fucking rewardfrom that, which was um he was
gonna get like a painted familypicture of him, KK, and uh his

(01:23:38):
wife, and I he was gonna send itto me, and I was just gonna have
a family painted portrait ofFarha hanging up in my house.

SPEAKER_10 (01:23:47):
That's pretty fantastic.

SPEAKER_07 (01:23:49):
It's been two years and I haven't gotten it yet.
So, Farha, if you're listening,I remember.
Anyway, I think that's enoughfor this episode.
We've we're at like an hour and20 minutes.
We never go this long.
So goodbye, everybody.
Goodbye.