March 6, 2025 • 56 mins
What happens when drug dealers have a violent disagreement at a sex party in the same London mansion where Bonnie Blue set her 1,000+ encounter record? That's just one of many bizarre tangents we explore in this wildly unpredictable episode.
Starting with a narrow escape from law enforcement involving a stolen-then-recovered vehicle, we quickly veer into territory that no GPS could navigate. Gaming enthusiasts will appreciate our heated debate about Monster Hunter luck distribution (spoiler: Zeno has all of it), complete with tales of extremely rare drops and photographic evidence of a disturbingly accurate Lord Farquaad character creation.
The conversation takes unexpected scientific turns when we consult AI to determine exactly how much pressure the human urethra can withstand (approximately 6-7 PSI, in case you're curious). We also discover the world's oldest living llama is spending his twilight years bringing joy to chronically ill children – though our dark humor imagines he might be yearning for retirement of a more permanent nature.
Personal stories abound, from childhood claims about dinosaurs and Jurassic Park vehicles to planning our upcoming group pedicure session. We reminisce about gaming classics like Turok, Doom, and GTA3 while debating the tactical advantages of various bathroom defense strategies. And yes, we somehow manage to work in a celebrity sighting at "the shittiest bar in town."
Ready for an audio adventure that combines pop culture, scientific inquiry, and completely unhinged speculation? Hit play, but maybe use headphones if you're in public – we can't be held responsible for the strange looks you'll get when you inevitably burst out laughing.
Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
what?
Yeah, oh, he said bring backlynching earlier today.
Speaker 4 (00:08):
Whoa, that was what you corrected it to after you
said lynching not factual you'relying and coco even said he's
like oh, they'll definitelybelieve me if I say this.
Yeah, you guys are believing me.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Now I'm fucked yeah, did you say that Coco?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I did say that, but he also did say what he said.
I was like you know, it's kindof fucked up, even though you
really said that I could fuckinglie about this and they just
don't believe me.
No, we were talking about thepoliticians and how they're all
dumb and he was like you, whatwe should bring back Public
lynchings.
And then like three secondspassed and he was like hang on,
(00:52):
let me take that back a bit.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
That sounds bad, I'm not racist Public executions.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I was like Murky's fucking mouth moved before his
brain thought about what theconsequences were.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
You know what?
That happens to me a lot yeahfor sure, how's it?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
going.
How's it going?
Everybody Doing okay, Gettingover being sick, yeah you still
sound a little sick.
I'm a little bit.
I got a little stuffiness.
Flu is no joke.
Don't like, don't likey.
I hear a funny story ofsomething that could have
happened to me and the shopmanager yesterday.
(01:30):
Sure, so we work at body shop.
Obviously we have a vehicle inthe shop that was a theft
recovery and as part of therepairs we need to take it to
another shop to have analignment done on it.
We drove the car over there, Idrove, and as part of the
repairs we need to take it toanother shop to have an
alignment done on it.
We drove the car over there, Idrove in a chase vehicle to pick
him up so I could bring himback to the shop.
(01:51):
When we got back to the shop gota call from city police
department because the one ofthe traffic cameras picked up
the license plate and determinedit was stolen.
So they contacted the customerand was like hey, you driving
your car.
And they're like no, but we didget it back.
It's at a body shop.
And they're like cool, we wouldhave pulled them over because
(02:13):
you did not report that yourvehicle was no longer stolen,
you retrieved it.
So now we need to go put eyeson it to get it off of the
vehicle stolen like report,otherwise you can get pulled
over and people probably won'tbelieve you that your car
because you didn't have thislike taken off the record so
could have gotten pulled over.
(02:33):
Or shop manager could havegotten pulled over at a
interesting conversation withpolice officers why he was in
this vehicle that was reportedstolen that apparently happened
with my mom and dad.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Um, when they had a, they had their corvette stolen
back, way back before I was born.
And uh, apparently the ohiostate police pulled them over
for a stolen vehicle becausethey forgot to take it off the
list and uh, pulled my dad outof the car via shotgun to his uh
, to his back, nice, and my momwas just.
(03:08):
Her first reaction was likewhat the fuck did he do while I
was at work?
It wasn't, it wasn't anythinglike he was innocent or anything
.
Her first reaction was likewhat did this man do?
yeah, that's pretty funny ohwhatever it is, I believe it uh,
he and I gonna play some.
Uh, I don't, I don't, we don'thave a thing scheduled, but
(03:29):
we're gonna play some of that.
Uh, what is that?
The repo game, repo, repo.
Are you still free for that?
E, I should be.
We should probably make athumbnail and post it and do
stuff.
It's like two days away, or wecan always just do it like
Sunday.
It's up to you.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
We'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
So, zeno, how have you been enjoying your Monster
Hunter?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I have played so much Monster Hunter.
It's unreal.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Murky seems to hate you for playing Monster Hunter.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
It's not, I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
I don't hate him, he's a sore loser.
I don't hate him for playingmonster hunter.
I hate him for the extravagantamount of luck that he has while
playing monster hunter.
If he was that lucky all thetime, he should live at the
casino because he'd be amillionaire.
Yeah, that would be pretty sickit would be you want to.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
You guys want to hate something equally as much.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I hunted gypsorose nine times and did not get a
bird wyvern gem.
If Xeno does that, he gets 11bird wyvern gems.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I literally showed him the other day of my Gore
Magala hunts.
I have like eight of the rupeesJust in one day from hunting
them.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Out of this world.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
You guys want to hate .
A fucking cursed image frommonster hunter sure.
I don't know.
I think Zeno's seen it already,but it's gonna go into the ADHD
after dark chat.
This is my hunter profile, ohyeah yeah, I've seen that Coco.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Why don't you explain this image?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
yeah, so I made Lord Farquaad in Monster Hunter and,
uh, the perfect representationas I could and uh, yeah.
So he's lying on his back withhis hands behind his head and
he's got this creepy ass smilewith his square-ass fucking jaw
and huge fucking chin.
Yeah, it's definitely not meantto be creepy at all, but Zeno
(05:36):
opened it the other day and hewas just like oh, show me your
naked body.
Whoa, that's what he said.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I did say that he did say that you turn in Wow what a
fucking.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
What a timing.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
What's up Switch?
Speaker 4 (05:55):
You can hear more sound bites like that.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
You can't hide on the podcast at this point, because
your sound alert came in.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
He's like you have to say to yourself, about yourself
, for yourself.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
One of those words All right, good answer.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Good answer.
Good answer, good answer.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Good answer.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Good answer, good answer Good answer Good answer,
good answer, good answer, goodanswer.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Good answer.
Good answer.
Oh, you're dicking my ass thathappened too, Change, change,
change, fucking.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Starting a goddamn revolution because we sent a
murder ghost after somebody.
It's fucking wild.
You ready for the spooky devil?
You ready for the next sessionwhen we?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
all probably die.
I don't know.
I'm nervous.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I think we killed the one person that was probably a
problem by me accidentallysending murder ghosts after him.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
I don't know.
I feel like we killed thestrongest adversary, we killed
their best combatant withoutfighting him.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I'll take that as a W .
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Now I feel like it's just like crowd control.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Yeah, Lubon can do that.
For our listeners.
They're talking about our Curseof Strahd campaign that we're
playing in.
Speaker 5 (07:27):
The three of y'all just started talking and'm
pretty sure like anybodylistening so this is adhd after
dark.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
They're supposed to realize we just talk about
random shit well, yeah, we alsoplay porn games, but we haven't
done that this season myfavorite part of that e was you
berating all the kitchen staffyeah, gordon.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Ramsey, gordon Ramsey , berating the kitchen staff
dude had a fucking PTSDflashback too.
Oh fucking crazy.
You fucking berated the headchef, the guy that was in charge
, and he didn't know that therewas a boss above him.
You scared him so much that hethought he now had a boss.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I mean, you think about it if I'm a chef who's
like, if I'm under 6 foot tall.
You scared him so much that hethought he now had a boss.
I mean, you think about it IfI'm a chef who's like, if I'm
under six foot tall and I have afowl goo who, I'm guessing how
tall is he?
Eight foot, yeah, eight feettall, yeah, I'm going to, I'm
going to be intimidated Firstoff.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
What if?
Speaker 4 (08:20):
what if he?
Speaker 1 (08:20):
was what the chef obviously wasn't but like.
Gordon Ramsey wouldn't.
He'd be fucking like where'sthe fucking duck sauce?
But whatever it is lamb saucelamb sauce.
It's fucking raw, it's fuckingraw.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
No, I just feel bad because when we were probably in
the last 20, 30 minutes of oursession, my Adderall was out of
my system at that point and Iwas crashing.
I was going non-verbal, I waslike I don't want to say
anything.
I I didn't want to like move,but so is life when you're
(09:04):
trying to take, you gotta getsome of that extended release
stuff, unless that's what yougot, uh it's what I supposed to
be on.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Either that or you might need something later in
the day you might need somethinglater in the day to uh get you
through the evening that couldalso be a thing so I'm not off.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Talk to the doctor about it, I'm sure.
Oh.
But speaking of doctor, threepeople were stabbed in an orgy
sex party brawl at the samemansion.
Bonnie Blue did over a thousanddudes in.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
What.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
What is?
Speaker 5 (09:42):
this what.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I was walking through the shop earlier and he just
stops me, he goes oh hey, therewas a uh stabbing slash, uh drug
dealing at the orgy and I waslike at the orgy, oh okay you
immediately knew what he wastalking.
He's like yeah yeah, he waslike, I thought, you just know I
, I just learned that you wantto elaborate a little bit for
our listeners absolutely so.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Uh, the same mansion that bonnie blue rented out to
do over 1057 dudes in onesetting.
Uh, they were having a sexparty there and there was a
bunch of different drug dealersthere selling their wares as
drug dealers do she has wares ifyou have coin.
(10:28):
Uh, so there were several drugdealers and sounds like a
fucking ditty.
Yes, some kind of disagreementhappened to break out and
disagreement somebody stolesomebody's got stabbed
non-fatally like they.
They're not going to die,they're going to be fine.
They went to the hospital, gotpatched up, but uh, I guess this
(10:53):
was all hosted by a dude whocalled himself Lord Eddie
Davenport.
What so Lord Eddie Davenportwas putting on some orgy and he
got in a bunch of like drugdealers to kind of help keep
this like fueled cocaine drivensex party going.
(11:18):
And I've learned because it wasjust one of those you do a
quick little Google search to belike okay, that's a unique name
.
Like is this guy like anOnlyFans dude or something?
No, he evades his taxes.
He is a tax fraud dude.
That's why he's famous.
He doesn't pay his taxes andlike, people have been after him
(11:41):
for a while because of it.
And I guess this all happenedin England, of all places.
I thought it would happen herein America.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
No, but it's all the orgy happened in central London,
so the chick got railed inLondon, yeah, central.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
London 1057.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, well, I mean, that makes more sense.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I feel like that's like a Nevada thing.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Nah, that's definitely a London thing.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
Those Europeans, they're fucking sex maniacs over
there, dude, okay, that'sfucking wild.
I would have thought Amsterdambefore London.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I could see that.
I could see that, like London's, just like Chicago, there's
freaky people in Chicago.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
You're freaky people.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
There do be freaky people in Chicago.
You're freaky people, I do befreaky people in Chicago.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Switch is freaky people.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
But she do be freaky.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
She's super freaky, she's a very freaky girl the
spooky devil yes, the spooky,spooky devil, yes.
Well, that's fuckinginteresting.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yeah, that was a pretty good lore drop you hit me
with earlier today.
I was like did you hear?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
on the topic of Bonnie Blue, I saw a headline
that she's doing a new sex stunt, and it's just old men in
nursing homes.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh no, community service is community service at
that point.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Sure Okay, I'm helping them out.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
I'm on the way out, let me have this.
I gotta get to my room.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I gotta get to my room.
I just imagine the fucking olddude, the fucking Stan's fucking
grandfather, in South Park.
Hey, murky knows exactly whatI'm talking about.
I just imagine that.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
That's what's happening at that point to like
support for the old people tosupport themselves.
Like does she have to?
Like put her legs like throughlike a square of, like a walker
kind?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
of she bounces her ass so grab, but not have the
walker in the way what if, shelike, designed a special seat
for her to sit in for them, sothat, like they?
Can hover the walker over whileher legs are spread.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah or even like a wheelchair thing, maybe, like
just drive the wheelchair rightup and then just lower the
mechanism after she has thechild that she's now with you
know before for a limited oldguy green pies before limited
old guy.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
If she moves her hips up and down too quick she's
going to break their hip.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
We change cream pies to come cocky or come cake Damn.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Oh yeah, he's drinking some cum cake oh yeah
what flavor of cum cake.
Is that?
Speaker 2 (14:32):
it's butter pecan cream soda butter pecan cum cake
very delicious.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
You've had that in your fridge since the last time
we noticed that on podcast,haven't you?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I have yeah that wasn't that long ago, so
drinking non-alcoholic beveragesno, oh, speaking of which Coco?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
yeah, obs check has it crashed.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I'm not using OBS.
I'm using a dish audition.
We're not even recording videoanymore oh, we're strictly audio
yeah, figured let's just toomuch sexy's, just remove OBS.
I think, because OBS just keepscrashing you motherfuckers
never joined the fans Lee.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
Yeah, too much sex appeal.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I'll show you some sex appeal hey yo.
I'll show you my butthole heyyo.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
What.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Don't fuck your Garnivore plush.
It's not here yet, otherwise,otherwise, yeah, I mean there's
a werelord back there.
You want me to install aflashlight in this blowhole?
Cocoa you already already sewedin pockets, yeah, I'm gonna put
a flashlight in that's fuckingblowhole dude.
Then when I come, it spitswater out the top.
(15:43):
Too gross?
we're gonna put a fucking, thenwhen I come, it spits water out
the top too gross we're gonnaput a fucking, a little fucking
compressed air fucking thing atthe bottom too for some special
effects.
It's a little messy, especiallybecause I'm.
It blows nut everywhere blowsnut all over your ceiling yeah
that sounds awful.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
The air pressure is way too high fucking, fucking,
blows my dick off.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
It goes off while I'm fucking.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
It fucking blows my dick off, oh god well, it's like
if it's high enough, you thinkit would just enter your urethra
and like, blow your dick outlike a fucking hot dog in the
microwave, do a little soundingget a bigger dick.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I just can't go too bigger.
The skin starts splitting.
I don't like it.
I feel like it wouldn't doanything to the dick and your
bladder would just explode maybeif you're.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
I mean, I guess it depends on what kind of psi your
urethra can take I don't thinkit's a lot dude.
I mean just how much pierce islike close to it if it say, like
you got a pocket pussy.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I know, I know I'm not you're fucking, I know I'm
not gonna get through that.
I know I'm not gonna get thisanswer if I do a Google search.
But let's ask Gemini, how muchPSI can a urethra take?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Oh God.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Let's see what the AI says.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
I kind of don't want to know the answer but I guess
we're kind of trying to do that.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
You kind of do.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Well that's because it goes into depletion.
I'm asking the AI.
Well, that's because he wasinto deflation.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I'm asking the AI.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Let's see what it gives me.
What do you want?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Oh boy, hang on.
It is important to understandthat the urethra Is a delicate
structure and applying excessivePressure can cause serious
injury.
There is no PSI limit, astolerance varies between
individuals.
There's no cap.
Normal urethra functioninginvolves a certain level of
(17:57):
pressure to prevent involuntaryurine leakage.
Measurements are typicallyrecorded in centimeters of water
, not psi.
To give some context, one psiis equivalent to 70.3
centimeters of h2o.
Medical texting.
The pressures can reach 300centimeters, so 70 divided by
(18:19):
300.
I'm surprised it didn't give methat like in a uh in a thing,
but that's probably what.
Like 6 or 7 PSI, so not a lotyeah.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
so I guess it boils down to would you rather have
exploded microwave, hot dog dickor Hindenburg, a million pieces
bladder, and which one would beeasier to repair in modern?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
medicine If your bladder's gone.
Obviously the bladder's goingto be harder to repair.
You're not sure they got fakebladders the solution for fixing
the solution for fixing yourdick is if it's too damaged, cut
it off and then you live.
(19:12):
Blow up my bladder, okay anyway, so.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
I'm positive news after all that that I learned
today yeah, did you test thelimits of your bladder?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I've done that before with kidney stones.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
All that that I learned today.
Yeah, did you test the limitsof your bladder?
I've done that before withkidney stones.
Which one would you prefer?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Well, he knows what a blown up bladder feels like
what is a prosthetic bladder?
Speaker 4 (19:40):
I mean, how hard is that to put in?
Speaker 3 (19:43):
It's just gotta be a balloon at that point, right.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Just go grab a plastic bag from Costco and
stick it in you.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
But positive news I learned today the oldest llama
on the world.
Guess how old it is 69 yearsold.
No, it's not 69, but it's olderthan 16.
42.
No, no younger than 42.
Younger than 22 25 27.
(20:14):
I mean, I guess, three times,to be fair it is currently
living out the rest of its lifeat a camp for chronically ill
children.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
To just kind of help them have a good day and I was
like you were going to say ithas cancer or some shit like
that.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
No, it's just an old llama and he's living out.
He's been living at this campfor a few years now and he just
helps out kids with chronicillnesses.
I'm like, fuck yeah, llama,yeah, after the whole, you know,
hot dog in the microwave, dickthing you're gonna tell this
story two weeks from now.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
We're gonna heal to hear the llama kicked a kid in
the head and killed him.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Either that or fucking sniper took him out
thinking more natural causes,but I don't know who's sniping a
llama.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
People who listen to this podcast could happen.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
Feel like they.
They wouldn't snipe a poorelderly llama at that point,
like he's lived a long life,just let him go out you know
he's.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
He's probably thinking damn, I've lived a long
life.
Please, fucking let me go.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Every day I yearn.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
How do you know?
He's happy Can he talk Everyday.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I yearn for death.
Speaker 4 (21:32):
These goddamn kids coming out and pulling my yes,
that is what I said.
These goddamn kids coming outand pulling my hair.
They're spitting every timethey're talking.
Piece of shit.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
I spit on them every chance.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
I get.
But my mouth can't produce muchspit anymore because I'm old
jesus christ oh, these kids,these kids, today is gonna be
fucking just mentally unhinged.
Bring a switchblade and kill meand make a statement.
I'm gonna thank him, I'm gonnabless him and his family.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
He's ready to go, dude nice, that time it, that
time we can turn anythingawesome into terrible.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
That's our job.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
It's a good thing I'm glad this elderly llama is
helping children.
I don't know why I turned itinto one.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I took it too far.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
I took it too far.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Is he going to be hunting monsters right now?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
no, I'm looking at gear.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I mean you got the game up.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
I do yeah yeah he and switch has the game up switch.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I didn't expect to be here at the podcast.
To be fair, to be far.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
I had a whole segment to talk about his dick, and now
I can't switches actuallyplease do.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
I can't, why not he's here?
Act like he isn't here.
Weird corkscrew thing to himhe's a duck.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
How about this?
Speaker 4 (23:04):
he sent me a bunch of pictures of it and I was like
whoa, that's like duck dick.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I've seen his, I've seen one of his balls, and
that's it yeah, I've seen hisass that is true twice because
apparently I was the only onepaying attention to switch
walking away and he pulled hispants down all I'm saying is
we're all gonna be in the samehouse at once in about a month
(23:30):
from now.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
It's gonna be pretty crazy walk around naked in
Coco's house it's gonna become anudist colony.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
We just all walking around with our dicks fucking
hanging out.
Let's be real, the only personwhose dick's gonna be hanging is
Zeno's everybody else is gonnabe fucking well supported.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I feel like one of their balls.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Zeno's actually going to finally show it to everybody
, but it's just gonna be amassive fucking bush that's
covering everything you've gotthe grass tower.
Can we like that scene from uhharold and kumar?
3?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
the king of the jungle has to have a forest to
reside in.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
You know yeah jesus, fucking christ alright I've
never heard that.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
That's a good way to put it just a giant tree that's
a power move.
That's a good way to put it.
Just a giant tree.
That's a power move.
That's a power move oh, here'ssomething that happened
yesterday.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
For you nerds, a cheeto shaped like the beloved
pokemon charizard is auctionedfor $87,840.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
I hate it when food gets auctioned because it just
happens to look like some popculture thing.
That thing gets wet.
It's worthless.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
I still have a Mew cookie like the Oreo cookie,
because they were being sold forhundreds of dollars when they
first came out, because it wasso rare.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
How much is it now?
I don't know.
Let's look it up.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Probably not a whole lot.
I'd know, let's look it up.
Probably not a whole lot.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Is it like protected, or could rats have gotten it?
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Oh yeah, there's a listing for $5,000.
But there's also one for $10.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
That one's got mold on it.
That one's got mold on it $300.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
I could easily sell this for $100.
It's hey bag.
A couple hundred bucks off this.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I could easily sell this for $100.
It's just sitting in a drawer.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
In a bag, in a Ziploc bag $20,400.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Somebody sold it for.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Let's see.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
It sounds like you got $20,000 somewhere in your
house.
Can you?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
visit site.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Let me see how frequently you know, it sounds
like you got $20,000 somewherein your house.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Right, I'm moving back you visit site.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Let me see how frequently just buy the
neighbor's house and connectthem this one's been only
handled with gloves.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Uh, seller does not accept returns.
Imagine that.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
No shocking you return it half eaten.
It was damn.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
How long ago do these cookies come out, oh, I kind of
want some Oreos and milk in afew months.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
I feel like that's been a minute, like some time,
since the couple years.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I would say, yeah, a minute I feel like it's been
quite some time since the coupleyears I would say yeah Doesn't
show me how consistently they'vebeen sold.
I thought eBay did.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Well go search on.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
TCG players see if they have any fucking new cookie
for sale, Do you guys see?
Taco bell does like a fuckinguh cheese.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
taco, a fucking apple presentation for all of their
new fucking menu items thatthey're adding.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
I did yeah I got on the taco bell tiktok and it was
just presentation afterpresentation with some guy
giving Steve Jobs intros tofucking like new Taco Bell tacos
, we've hit the we say beef onevery other fucking item We've
we've hit the pinnacle of cheesetechnology.
(27:18):
The cheese is now the taco.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
I'm seeing a lot of listings for this cookie for
$150.
I could just undercut themarket for $100 $125.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I could just put it out there for $20,000 and
fucking be done with it that'dbe cool will the pack of Oreos
cost you $7?
Speaker 4 (27:40):
fuck, I don't know now you've got real life.
Rng too.
Go fuck yourself.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
This was Biden administration, so the cookies
were probably $5.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
What is it about sucking dick that makes you wake
up?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I mean, he sucks his own dick, so that's what wakes
him up.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I can't suck my own dick.
I guess I shouldn't say that Idon't know that I've tried.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
That's a lie.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
I might be able to in my back so fast.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I don't think Zeno would have very much of an issue
trying to suck his own dickCause it's so fucking large.
You're right.
That's why I was like surprisedthat you immediately said I
can't suck my own dick bro youcan just sit there laying on
your bed and your fucking dickhead is going to come up in your
nose.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
If you fucking roll the wrong way.
It does happen sometimes, youknow.
Get that morning wood, smackmyself in the face and wake me
up.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I'm like because it's always in your face when you
sleep, so you can't deal withyour own dick smell.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
Just like cuddling your own Like teddy bear all the
time.
He's got a full fucking bodypillow.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
He doesn't have to buy a body pillow, it's attached
to him.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Oh god, that'd be funny as shit, thank god we've
dedicated the last five minutesTalking about Zeno's dick.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
That's what we always do.
I love it.
You're spreading the truth outhere.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
Thank, God, we've dedicated the last five minutes
talking about.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Zeno's dick.
That's what we always do.
I love it, you're spreading thetruth out here Spreading
something Ayo, ayo.
Well Now what Nothing coolhappened recently.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
I feel like some cool stuff.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Besides the fact that the trade war is on.
Or is it off now?
No, it's on, it's on full force.
I thought he rescinded italready now, I don't know no
this is why murky said bringback the public lynchings
(29:44):
executions.
Well, you corrected toexecutions, you did say
Executions is what I said thefirst time.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
That's not true For sure.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Everybody.
Speaker 4 (29:56):
And uh yeah, dude, I want to know why everybody's net
worth is way higher thananything their yearly salary
could ever be Every singlepolitician.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Where's your money?
Speaker 4 (30:11):
coming from.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
That's all.
It is dude.
Speaker 4 (30:14):
That's all it boils down to.
I'd have that greed If I was atthat kind of level and had that
kind of money in my face.
Dude fucking, who wouldn'tcrack?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
But that's just got to go away, the money's not
going to wouldn't, because Ialready got a big old dick.
So what else do I need?
Speaker 4 (30:29):
right, yeah, you would usually know, is the
fucking 0.01 Zeno, we're gonnacome break into your house or I
take everything you're fuckingworth you piece of garbage which
is mostly just my day.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
You got money and a huge dick like that's everything
I've ever wanted you everthought about getting that thing
modeled and making some moneyoff of selling sex toys shaped
like your dick?
Speaker 3 (30:56):
he doesn't need more money too.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
I think he could Zeno's now thinking about
looking into it.
I've seriously considered doingfeet pics look if somebody's
willing to pay for feet pics.
I don't care.
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I don't give a fuck if you jerk off to my fucking
feet you wanna see my two orthree red end of my toes.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
The other two look normal you like longer short
toenails, you got no shit.
Speaker 5 (31:27):
Like you want them painted, I don't give a fuck.
Nobody else is gonna see them.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
I will FedEx you these toenails so fast yeah, I
was like, dude, I would.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I was telling a co-worker yesterday.
I was like I would 100% sell apair of socks for like 10-15
bucks and he's like, yeah, butlike you would lose money.
I was like, no, because a pairof socks 10, 15 bucks.
A pack of socks of like threesets of socks is like 20 bucks.
Maybe fucking money comerolling in and people are gonna
(31:59):
pay more than 15 for a pair ofsocks too I'll give you 100
bucks for one sock sock.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
If you can get my socks, you can guarantee the
stank will stay.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
I do not want your socks.
I've smelled your feet.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
Nobody does, they are fucking terrible.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Nobody does.
Let me take that back.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
Let me roll that back .
There are some sick fucks outthere who might want my socks.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Oh yeah, they're juicy.
They fucking put that in theirfucking teacup.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Should.
Yeah, they're juicy.
They put, they fucking put thatin their in their fucking
teacup should we be calling ouraudience throw up?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
instead of using tea bags, they're using your socks
they put the tea in your sockand they use your sock as a tea
bag but should we be calling ourpotential new target market
market?
Speaker 2 (32:45):
disgusting though the fucking feel, like I feel like
they're actually.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
I feel like they want that point yeah, if you're
fucking making your tea, bagyour tea with your tea inside of
murky socks, you're want to becalled disgusting you're at a
different level they're aware ofwhat they are they know what
they're doing.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
There's no hiding it.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
Maybe you're right.
That's a very derogatorystatement in the book.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
I think we should all start selling feet pics and
reconvene on this in like amonth or two months and see
who's selling the most feet pics.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Maybe that's an exciting thing we can do for the
podcast the autistic man's feet.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Let's go to feetfinderscom.
We'll all make accounts andstart selling feet pics so you
can bring in the most dough.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
I'm going to put honey on my feet, I feel like I
need to get a pedicure.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
You're going to put honey on your feet.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
You guys want to go get pedicures together.
Hell yeah, let's do it nextmonth.
Yes, I do, let's do it nextmonth.
Speaker 5 (33:45):
Let's do it next month, okay, I'm so down, I am
so down.
All the girls are going to belike, where are you guys going?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
We're just going to be like uh, pedicures.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Why are our feet are getting touched, yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:59):
I couldn't do.
I just be grabbing the handlesjust trying not to laugh and
kick a bitch in the face.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Dude was just trying not to laugh and kick a bitch in
the face.
I've gotten two in my life andit was very difficult to stay
still, because I'm very ticklishI might be.
It was tough, you're right.
Leigh kept asking me she's likeyou okay?
And I'm like it's just ticklish.
She's like okay, that's fine, Ifine, like okay, let me do it
(34:29):
harder.
Yeah, she's like we stop nowand I was like no, it's okay,
just keep going.
Did she?
Did she speak?
Speaker 1 (34:35):
uh, let me kick you in the face a different language
, while she was, while you werebeing tickled oh yeah, she was
100 percent shit oh yeah, shewas looking at?
She was looking at her fuckingpartner over there.
She was like hey, watch this,you fucking squirm and you had
no idea.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
That was funny shit.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
You ever see those TikToks or videos where people
go to those places and they'reshit talking them, but the
person actually speaks thelanguage and they didn't think
that.
They're like, excuse me, andthen they start talking the
language back to them andthey're like, uh, uh, oh, uh, oh
, that's not good, I have fuckedup now.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
Those are always fun see, I walk into a place and
they look at me and they're likewell, we don't have to worry
about that happening they'relike this this fucker barely
understands his own languagethis stupid fuck fucking lubong
when he walks anywhere well, no,cause I felt bad the first time
I went.
Cause like she's using the onecheese grater and she switches
(35:45):
to the other cheese grater andshe switches to the other cheese
grater and then she startshollering how bad are your
fucking feet.
I got work at man's feet, homie.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
I work at man's feet, these things are calloused Beat
up.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
You need to put some work at man's feet.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
She went in the closet and they had to look for
this thing for a second.
They bring out like like cheesegrater comes out like the holy
light of dead skin eating, godhits it.
And then they bring it over andthis thing's fucking aggressive
, like huge, like a cheesegrater, like the pan style
(36:20):
cheese grater, but the curls onthem are huge.
I'm like you guys are gonnafuck me up with it.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Murky hit the upper limit of attachments for the
cheese grater.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
They then proceeded to fuck me up with this cheese
grater dude.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
You feel fucking great after you're done For two
days.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
Like, even if I wore shoes too long, it was like my
feet got tender.
I'm like god damn dude, howmuch skin did you take off?
Speaker 1 (36:48):
they probably took all the shit off.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
That was yeah, all the shit that needed to come off
.
Well, if I walk around softcarpet, that was the most
relaxing oh, dude it was fuckinglike a dream.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I remember when, um, I went to I was going to do get
the pedicure done.
I was taking a vacation withthe next girlfriend at the time
and this guy that I worked with.
His name was Garland, whichMurky probably remembers.
He's this bigger black guy,nicest guy ever, but like he's.
(37:21):
Yeah, I remember talking to him.
He's like what are you doing onvacation?
Like you got any plans orwhatever.
And I was like, hey, you know,girlfriend wants to go get
pedicures.
He goes dude, I'll tell youright now I fucking love that
shit.
Don't you let anybody tell youthat's some pussy shit, because
they ain't ever had that shitdone before, because they ain't
(37:42):
fucking man enough to fucking doit.
So you don't let anybodyfucking tell you you can't do
that shit.
I was like, yeah, yeah, youright, I ain't gonna let nobody
tell me I can't do it.
He goes dude, that shit feelsso fucking good.
I'd be doing that shit all thetime with my girl.
I was like, fuck, yeah, dude,it was a good time.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
He just left in the middle of that story.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Well, in the middle of that story, while he's still
listening.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
He's a bitch.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
He do be bitch material, though Big big bitch.
Speaker 5 (38:11):
He's a big, big bitch .
What makes?
You guys say that he's a bitch,because he doesn't have the
good luck in Monster Hunter.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Well, I don't have good luck in video games either,
but it doesn't mean, I'm a bigbitch.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
You don't play video games with us anymore.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
No, because you guys aren't playing games I'm
interested in.
I want to play with your wiener.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Oh, I'm interested in that game.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
So, uh, when are we doing that?
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Mergy, I can't believe.
You said that I was fucked upI'm intrigued that's pretty.
What?
Speaker 3 (38:51):
what you're intrigued about well, I mean where he
said he was going to put itsounds interesting.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Oh, I guess I'm interested in how he would do
that.
Yeah suppose that's not superweird, it's not?
Speaker 4 (39:10):
You don't have to blank out anal destruction, coco
.
You don't have to block thatout, it's fine.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Everything's fine.
Oh Okay, I must have misheardwhat you said Are you sure?
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Yes, I'm the new number one order of johnson's
baby oil.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
I'm sorry you're what I said, instead of diddy, I'm
the new number one orderer ofjohnson's baby oil I thought I
heard diddy in there.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
It's all for you, guys.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
I'm prepping for next month I'm going to show up with
like three backpacks on, likeone around the front and two on
my back, and they're all goingto be just stacked.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
You're going to have to at this point.
You might as well go to Englandand rent out that mansion and
do something wild with it atthis point, you guys could do it
with a bunch of old women abunch of old women think of the
money and the exposure you couldget for the podcast there would
be exposure there would beexposure.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
I don't know if that's the kind I want to fuck
with you're right, you're righteh sounds awesome yeah, I don't
know we have
Speaker 1 (40:31):
like at least 20 minutes left.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
I don't know if I can do that.
You don't know what.
I don't know if I can go thatlong.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
I knew you're usually like a one pump chump wait are
you talking about sex or thepodcast?
Speaker 4 (40:49):
that would never happen.
That's impossible for any.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
I still want to know what murky was saying I can't go
that long, for were you talking?
Speaker 4 (40:56):
about a thousand women, okay, yeah that's, yes,
exactly what I'm talking about.
Like there's no possible way.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
Anybody in the lester gaggis con you can't do it well
, I mean, he didn't do all thosewomen at the same time.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
I bet he would've right.
He had the ability to, I'm sureof it you put respect on
Genghis.
Khan's name right now.
Fucking Genghis.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Genghis Khan got a Genghis cock.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
I'm sure he did fuck, he's slinging that thing.
That's why he won all thebattles.
They were just intimidated offthe bat.
They saw that dude give theirspeech.
They were like whoa yeah that'swhy.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
The military.
It's like a fucking war crime,some shit, I don't know what.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Is that Little, the Littles the Littles, said
attention now.
Oh is that little?
Yeah, the littles, the littlesthe little, said attention now,
please, I need it, needs it.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Kate has been super aggressive with his attention
lately.
Speaker 4 (42:04):
Same thing with me, just like flops on me, king.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
I think it's because you're too far away from your
mic.
Speaker 4 (42:12):
King's old age is making him the same way.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Ma Could be.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
What are you doing Making?
Speaker 5 (42:22):
his kitty dance.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Making his kitty dance.
Making his kitty dance.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
I make Murky's kitty dance, if you know I'm lying
damn yeah, we'll just make thelast 20 minutes us hitting on
each other perfect yeah so funnystory from murky and I's
hometown.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Adam driver showed up at a random hole in the wall
bar last night at the shittiestbar in town.
Speaker 4 (42:51):
The shittiest bar in town.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (42:53):
The shittiest bar in town.
I get a fucking Snapchat fromBuddy's wife in our group chat
at a quarter after 11 on aWednesday.
First I'm like who's at thisshit bar at quarter after 11 on
a Wednesday?
And it was Adam Driver.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Yeah, I'm fucking crazy, adam Driver.
Yeah, fucking, crazy.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
Wow, yeah he is from our he is from your neck of
woods.
Yeah and yeah.
He was just at the shittiestbar in his hometown on a random
Wednesday night.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
It was good for him.
You know Right, he was probablylike you know what, I fucking
got drunk there before I wasanybody.
I'm gonna go check it out andeverybody respected him.
Speaker 4 (43:38):
I would definitely ask can you do the fucking?
Speaker 5 (43:43):
SNL.
Speaker 4 (43:45):
I want the SNL skit from medieval times.
I want the SNL skit when he isthe father on parent fucking job
day, whatever.
I can't think of what they callthat career day.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
Career day, your parents come in and tell him
what they do and he's like anoil baron my parents never did
that because my dad was the onlynever did that because my dad
was the only worker in the house.
Speaker 4 (44:14):
My dad was at work.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
My mom wasn't around and if my dad did that, then you
know we weren't bringing moneyinto the household because you
know my mom didn't work myschool never did career days no,
my school never did career days, no, no because they were smart
enough.
Speaker 4 (44:37):
No, motherfuckers were working.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
I just remember telling my classmates that my
dad worked on the Jurassic Parkvehicles because when Jurassic
Park 2 came out they were doinga tour of that like trailer that
went off the cliff in JurassicPark 2.
And at one point it broke downand they actually had the
(45:04):
repairs done at my dad's shopand so my dad like had us come
down to the shop so he couldshow it to us.
And I remember him telling melike, oh yeah, to the shop so he
could show it to us.
And I remember him telling melike, oh yeah, this is the one
that fell off the fucking cliff.
They brought it to us to fix itbecause they got to go get more
dinosaurs or whatever.
Like this is fucking so cool,hell yeah.
(45:24):
So I kept telling my classmates.
I was like, yeah, my dad workson all the vehicles from
Jurassic Park Because you knowthey're the only ones that can
handle the dinosaurs and he'stotally seen a dinosaur before.
He said he's going to bring onehome someday.
I'm going to have aVelociraptor as a pet Did he
ever bring one home.
That bitch no.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Damn.
Speaker 4 (45:47):
Unfortunately not Another disappointment from our
childhood.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yeah, fucking lied to me.
There were no dinosaurs on thatgoddamn trailer.
I should have known therewasn't.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
I would have heard them.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
They would have responded to my dinosaur calls
dude.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Can you give us one of those dinosaur calls?
Speaker 4 (46:06):
I played so much Dino Crisis on the PlayStation 1 to
be ready for that moment.
Dino Crisis fucked.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Dino Crisis was the shit.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
Absolutely fucked man .
You know what else fucked Turok?
Speaker 4 (46:23):
Turok was the best Dude.
Don't even get me started onTurok, dude.
Turok was the shit.
Turok.
This year it was pretty coolN64 Turok was the shit.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Yeah, it was pretty cool N64 Turok was the best N64
Turok was the shit for sure whogot me started?
Speaker 4 (46:42):
was like early 90's fucking PC, but it was 1999 and
Doom was out and my dad's bestfriend at the time.
But it was 1999 and Doom wasout and my dad's best friend at
the time, his oldest son, whowas like 10 years older than me
or like 8 years older than me,some shit He'd start PC and we'd
(47:03):
play Doom and he'd put in allthe cheat codes for me and I
could just fuck with the nailgun for fucking hours.
Dude the best.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Do you guys remember?
I don't remember at all whatthe name of this game was.
I remember it being on pc and Iplayed it at a friend's house
because I didn't have a pc at myhouse because we were broke
bitches.
Dear honor.
But no, it was like a dinosaurhunting game and I just remember
you would like select adinosaur that you wanted to hunt
(47:37):
and you would pick a weapon andthen you like went out into the
wilderness to hunt this monster.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
But it was like old school minecraft, fucking
graphics, kind of shit dinosaurhunter I couldn't tell you
dinosaur game that I vaguelyremember because it was at my
aunt's house.
She had a macintosh, but Iremember it was like this 3d
dinosaur game where you're likerunning around trying to pick up
(48:05):
eggs or something before like avolcano goes off or something.
Yeah, I don't remember that,but like I always remember that
game from time to time and I'mlike what the fuck was that.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
Yeah, I don't know what that dinosaur game was
either.
May never know.
Speaker 4 (48:23):
Grand Theft Auto 3.
Breaking into the cardealership, stealing the Banshee
, after you already put in R2,r21, r2 left out, right up, left
out, right up, got all theweapons and then you went
unlimited money and unlimitedhealth and the armor yeah
indestructible vehicle naturallyvehicle fly code.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
I used to do the vehicle fly code and the vehicle
float or vehicle drive on watercode and I would fly my vehicle
into the water and then land inthe water and fucking drive
away and be like fuck you, you,cop bitches you ain't gonna get
me.
Speaker 4 (49:01):
I was doing the tank and just turn my gun around and
use my gun like a fuckingaccelerator.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
That was the best that's some fucking shit yeah
good times, the true awakening.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
That was the best.
Speaker 4 (49:12):
That's some fucking shit that's fucking wild.
Grand Theft Auto 3 is the trueawakening.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
I played more Vice City than I did Grand Theft Auto
3.
Speaker 4 (49:21):
Luckily I had a brother that was six years older
than me and who had that on PS2and was like I'm gonna play
this when nobody's around.
And then I was fucking hookersand using RPGs to blow up shit.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
And actually, what are you supposed to do?
Speaker 4 (49:36):
those guys are fucked up because then you can kill
the hookers and get your moneyback.
I swear to god that was amechanic in the game that
explains a lot.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
That explains why you're such a horrible person no
well then, what does?
Speaker 4 (49:56):
oh, I wouldn't call murky a horrible person, I mean
after the shit xeno I openeddoors for old people what are
you talking about?
Speaker 1 (50:03):
but what did xeno do now?
Speaker 4 (50:04):
yeah, I've watched xeno spit a man's face and he's
like, oh my god, like what'sthis for?
As he's leaning on his walker,and then Zeno just smacked him
right across the face.
It was super fucked up.
Speaker 3 (50:18):
I have seen Zeno talk to an elderly customer, push
them down, slash their tires andthen walk off.
Speaker 4 (50:26):
You missed the part where he stood on the table and
pissed on him while he was onthe ground.
Yeah, you weren't even therefor that.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
He stood on top of the table and goes.
Speaker 4 (50:37):
I'm the king of the world.
He whipped out his dick,slapped the guy in the face with
it, never got off the table.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
I told you guys about my dream.
The guy was laying on theground.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
He peed on this lady in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (50:49):
This lady was trying to bang me.
Long story short, I was in arestaurant in my dream and in
the restaurant it was like halfrestaurant, half house.
And I asked this waitress waslike hey, I have to go to the
bathroom.
You guys have a bathroom.
She's like yeah, I'll show youwhere it is.
So I follow her to her bedroom.
(51:09):
Uh, she didn't take me to thebathroom and she was trying to
seduce me and I was like nah,lady, I just want to go to the
bathroom, leave me alone.
And she wasn't having it.
I was like I'm fucking leavingbecause I just gotta go to the
bathroom.
And I saw the bathroom on theway here, so I went to the
bathroom, start peeing in thetoilet.
She starts trying to come inthe door and her head's sticking
(51:30):
through the door.
I have my back against it,trying to push the door closed.
She keeps coming in.
So I just start peeing in herfucking face and I woke up.
I don't know what happenedafter that, but I fucking
probably was.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
That's why she didn't go away.
Yeah, it's fucked up, fucked up, it's horrifying.
We've all had.
Speaker 5 (51:45):
We've all had that thought of if, if you're peeing
and then you get jumped whileyeah, it's fucked up, fucked up.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
It's horrifying.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
We've all had that thought of if, if you're peeing
and then you get jumped whileyou're in a public bathroom,
what, what happened?
Speaker 2 (51:58):
I'm spraying.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
Everybody's had that thought.
Right, you just turn.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
I'm rubbing my nuts on somebody's fucking forehead
too.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
We've all had that thought.
Don't lie.
Speaker 3 (52:07):
Yeah, I mean nobody's disagreeing so far.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
Yeah don't lie.
Yeah, I mean, nobody'sdisagreeing so far.
You got talking to thelisteners, listeners at home.
Speaker 4 (52:17):
I fucking know you've done it.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
You're not good are you sitting on the toilet?
You're on.
You're at the urinal yeah, alsowhat you got yeah, once you
start the stream it doesn't stopfor anything.
So, like, if you need to getinto a fight, you're gonna be
like like this and it's stillpissing, it's still pissing.
While you're fucking in thefight, you might even take a
little bit of an aim and fuckingpee in their eyes.
Speaker 4 (52:41):
See at that point, if I'm already unbuttoned and
unbelted, I'm gonna pootie tangit.
I'm gonna whip my fucking beltout and just start busting
motherfuckers with it.
Speaker 2 (52:51):
I'm gonna be honest, I don't know what pootie tang
means yeah, what is thedefinition of pootie tang?
Speaker 4 (52:58):
um, pootie tang is a way of life, main character from
a movie.
I can't, god damn it.
I can't remember the exact nameof the movie.
I swear to god, this isactually a real thing.
Pootie tang yeah, the name ofthe character.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
I can't remember the exact name of the movie.
Speaker 4 (53:14):
I swear to God, this is actually a real thing.
Yeah, I don't believe you.
Pootie Tang yeah, the name ofthe character.
I can't remember the name ofthe movie, but he's really good
with his belt.
Maybe once again.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
I thought he was going to be like, yeah, this
movie.
No, he said it.
Speaker 4 (53:27):
I was hoping that was going to happen.
Speaker 3 (53:30):
Pootie Tang is the movie.
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (53:33):
Yeah, 2001.
Okay Huh.
Speaker 2 (53:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (53:39):
Go to even those, those clarifications.
Speaker 4 (53:42):
Basically, he gets his belt taken away at one point
.
No powers.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
Oh, so his powers comes from the belt.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
Is he beating people with his belt?
Yeah, of course nice.
So why is he beating people?
And he also doesn't?
Speaker 2 (54:00):
know why exactly is this happening?
Speaker 3 (54:02):
he's just the hero of the story.
That's what he does or a pimp,or oh, I think he's a pimp.
Probably been a minute sinceI've seen the movie, though it's
2001 humor.
Speaker 4 (54:13):
Oh, I think he's a pimp.
Probably it's been a minutesince I've seen the movie.
Though it's 2001 humor, I don'tfucking know.
Dude, it's been a long timesince I've seen that movie.
Yeah, but if I'm whippingaround with my dick out, having
to fight a bunch of people, I'mprobably not taking the time to
put my dick away and button upmy jeans.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Nah absolutely not, nah, and you're going to pee in
all of them.
Speaker 4 (54:37):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (54:37):
Yeah, I'm going to be peeing while I'm fighting,
pissing everywhere.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
Yeah, no way around.
It no way around it.
Speaker 4 (54:47):
Feel bad for the janitor after that.
Speaker 1 (54:50):
I mean there's going to be a lot of dead bodies on
the floor.
He's got a lot more than thatto clean up.
I think you've.
I think, or there could just beone body on the floor.
If you need a job to get yourass beat, yeah, I think the
person that you need toapologize to is the forensic
cleaning crew that's going toget called to that scene.
It's not going to be thejanitor dealing with that mess,
(55:15):
it's going to be the fucking CSI.
Night shift Got to be withlicenses and shit.
Speaker 2 (55:20):
And be like what happened here.
It's like, well, you're notgoing to believe this shit.
This man was jumped while he ispeeing.
You can imagine what happenedafter that.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
And you're like he hulked out and beat all over the
place.
There's piss and bloodeverywhere.
Speaker 4 (55:37):
Gross.
They open each stall door andthere's a dude stuffed in
fucking head first into eachfucking toilet.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
And there's fresh poop in each toilet.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
Their eyes are poked out by a shape that resembles
the tip of a dick.
Speaker 1 (55:54):
Poked out or dimpled that resembles the tip of a dick
.
Poked out or dimpled, like youfucking stuck your dick into the
into like a fucking orange anddeformed it a little bit
everybody has a mushroom stampyeah, yeah, I don't we have four
minutes, but we can end itearly anyway.
Got anything else you want totalk about man, I'm not
interesting.
Speaker 3 (56:13):
What I never have anything to talk about, I'm not
interesting.
Speaker 2 (56:18):
Except for the orgy.
What do you mean?
You talk about the whole orgything.
Speaker 3 (56:20):
Yeah, because I find weird shit to talk about, but
I'm not an interesting guy.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
Sometimes we are the weird shit that we find, you
know.
Speaker 1 (56:28):
Yeah, yes, I'll show you some weird shit, maybe Like
poop.
Yeah, you want to see some poop.
Speaker 4 (56:39):
No no I don't Okay, Ricky get your ass fucking back
here your naked body.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
What I can't end the podcast without Murky here hey.
Speaker 3 (56:51):
Now we can to say goodbye ready, goodbye, goodbye.
what?
Yeah, oh, he said bring backlynching earlier today.
Speaker 4 (00:08):
Whoa, that was what you corrected it to after you
said lynching not factual you'relying and coco even said he's
like oh, they'll definitelybelieve me if I say this.
Yeah, you guys are believing me.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Now I'm fucked yeah, did you say that Coco?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I did say that, but he also did say what he said.
I was like you know, it's kindof fucked up, even though you
really said that I could fuckinglie about this and they just
don't believe me.
No, we were talking about thepoliticians and how they're all
dumb and he was like you, whatwe should bring back Public
lynchings.
And then like three secondspassed and he was like hang on,
(00:52):
let me take that back a bit.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
That sounds bad, I'm not racist Public executions.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I was like Murky's fucking mouth moved before his
brain thought about what theconsequences were.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
You know what?
That happens to me a lot yeahfor sure, how's it?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
going.
How's it going?
Everybody Doing okay, Gettingover being sick, yeah you still
sound a little sick.
I'm a little bit.
I got a little stuffiness.
Flu is no joke.
Don't like, don't likey.
I hear a funny story ofsomething that could have
happened to me and the shopmanager yesterday.
(01:30):
Sure, so we work at body shop.
Obviously we have a vehicle inthe shop that was a theft
recovery and as part of therepairs we need to take it to
another shop to have analignment done on it.
We drove the car over there, Idrove, and as part of the
repairs we need to take it toanother shop to have an
alignment done on it.
We drove the car over there, Idrove in a chase vehicle to pick
him up so I could bring himback to the shop.
(01:51):
When we got back to the shop gota call from city police
department because the one ofthe traffic cameras picked up
the license plate and determinedit was stolen.
So they contacted the customerand was like hey, you driving
your car.
And they're like no, but we didget it back.
It's at a body shop.
And they're like cool, we wouldhave pulled them over because
(02:13):
you did not report that yourvehicle was no longer stolen,
you retrieved it.
So now we need to go put eyeson it to get it off of the
vehicle stolen like report,otherwise you can get pulled
over and people probably won'tbelieve you that your car
because you didn't have thislike taken off the record so
could have gotten pulled over.
(02:33):
Or shop manager could havegotten pulled over at a
interesting conversation withpolice officers why he was in
this vehicle that was reportedstolen that apparently happened
with my mom and dad.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Um, when they had a, they had their corvette stolen
back, way back before I was born.
And uh, apparently the ohiostate police pulled them over
for a stolen vehicle becausethey forgot to take it off the
list and uh, pulled my dad outof the car via shotgun to his uh
, to his back, nice, and my momwas just.
(03:08):
Her first reaction was likewhat the fuck did he do while I
was at work?
It wasn't, it wasn't anythinglike he was innocent or anything
.
Her first reaction was likewhat did this man do?
yeah, that's pretty funny ohwhatever it is, I believe it uh,
he and I gonna play some.
Uh, I don't, I don't, we don'thave a thing scheduled, but
(03:29):
we're gonna play some of that.
Uh, what is that?
The repo game, repo, repo.
Are you still free for that?
E, I should be.
We should probably make athumbnail and post it and do
stuff.
It's like two days away, or wecan always just do it like
Sunday.
It's up to you.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
We'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
So, zeno, how have you been enjoying your Monster
Hunter?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I have played so much Monster Hunter.
It's unreal.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Murky seems to hate you for playing Monster Hunter.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
It's not, I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
I don't hate him, he's a sore loser.
I don't hate him for playingmonster hunter.
I hate him for the extravagantamount of luck that he has while
playing monster hunter.
If he was that lucky all thetime, he should live at the
casino because he'd be amillionaire.
Yeah, that would be pretty sickit would be you want to.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
You guys want to hate something equally as much.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I hunted gypsorose nine times and did not get a
bird wyvern gem.
If Xeno does that, he gets 11bird wyvern gems.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I literally showed him the other day of my Gore
Magala hunts.
I have like eight of the rupeesJust in one day from hunting
them.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Out of this world.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
You guys want to hate .
A fucking cursed image frommonster hunter sure.
I don't know.
I think Zeno's seen it already,but it's gonna go into the ADHD
after dark chat.
This is my hunter profile, ohyeah yeah, I've seen that Coco.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Why don't you explain this image?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
yeah, so I made Lord Farquaad in Monster Hunter and,
uh, the perfect representationas I could and uh, yeah.
So he's lying on his back withhis hands behind his head and
he's got this creepy ass smilewith his square-ass fucking jaw
and huge fucking chin.
Yeah, it's definitely not meantto be creepy at all, but Zeno
(05:36):
opened it the other day and hewas just like oh, show me your
naked body.
Whoa, that's what he said.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I did say that he did say that you turn in Wow what a
fucking.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
What a timing.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
What's up Switch?
Speaker 4 (05:55):
You can hear more sound bites like that.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
You can't hide on the podcast at this point, because
your sound alert came in.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
He's like you have to say to yourself, about yourself
, for yourself.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
One of those words All right, good answer.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Good answer.
Good answer, good answer.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Good answer.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Good answer, good answer Good answer Good answer,
good answer, good answer, goodanswer.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Good answer.
Good answer.
Oh, you're dicking my ass thathappened too, Change, change,
change, fucking.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Starting a goddamn revolution because we sent a
murder ghost after somebody.
It's fucking wild.
You ready for the spooky devil?
You ready for the next sessionwhen we?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
all probably die.
I don't know.
I'm nervous.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I think we killed the one person that was probably a
problem by me accidentallysending murder ghosts after him.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
I don't know.
I feel like we killed thestrongest adversary, we killed
their best combatant withoutfighting him.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I'll take that as a W .
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Now I feel like it's just like crowd control.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Yeah, Lubon can do that.
For our listeners.
They're talking about our Curseof Strahd campaign that we're
playing in.
Speaker 5 (07:27):
The three of y'all just started talking and'm
pretty sure like anybodylistening so this is adhd after
dark.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
They're supposed to realize we just talk about
random shit well, yeah, we alsoplay porn games, but we haven't
done that this season myfavorite part of that e was you
berating all the kitchen staffyeah, gordon.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Ramsey, gordon Ramsey , berating the kitchen staff
dude had a fucking PTSDflashback too.
Oh fucking crazy.
You fucking berated the headchef, the guy that was in charge
, and he didn't know that therewas a boss above him.
You scared him so much that hethought he now had a boss.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I mean, you think about it if I'm a chef who's
like, if I'm under 6 foot tall.
You scared him so much that hethought he now had a boss.
I mean, you think about it IfI'm a chef who's like, if I'm
under six foot tall and I have afowl goo who, I'm guessing how
tall is he?
Eight foot, yeah, eight feettall, yeah, I'm going to, I'm
going to be intimidated Firstoff.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
What if?
Speaker 4 (08:20):
what if he?
Speaker 1 (08:20):
was what the chef obviously wasn't but like.
Gordon Ramsey wouldn't.
He'd be fucking like where'sthe fucking duck sauce?
But whatever it is lamb saucelamb sauce.
It's fucking raw, it's fuckingraw.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
No, I just feel bad because when we were probably in
the last 20, 30 minutes of oursession, my Adderall was out of
my system at that point and Iwas crashing.
I was going non-verbal, I waslike I don't want to say
anything.
I I didn't want to like move,but so is life when you're
(09:04):
trying to take, you gotta getsome of that extended release
stuff, unless that's what yougot, uh it's what I supposed to
be on.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Either that or you might need something later in
the day you might need somethinglater in the day to uh get you
through the evening that couldalso be a thing so I'm not off.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Talk to the doctor about it, I'm sure.
Oh.
But speaking of doctor, threepeople were stabbed in an orgy
sex party brawl at the samemansion.
Bonnie Blue did over a thousanddudes in.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
What.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
What is?
Speaker 5 (09:42):
this what.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I was walking through the shop earlier and he just
stops me, he goes oh hey, therewas a uh stabbing slash, uh drug
dealing at the orgy and I waslike at the orgy, oh okay you
immediately knew what he wastalking.
He's like yeah yeah, he waslike, I thought, you just know I
, I just learned that you wantto elaborate a little bit for
our listeners absolutely so.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Uh, the same mansion that bonnie blue rented out to
do over 1057 dudes in onesetting.
Uh, they were having a sexparty there and there was a
bunch of different drug dealersthere selling their wares as
drug dealers do she has wares ifyou have coin.
(10:28):
Uh, so there were several drugdealers and sounds like a
fucking ditty.
Yes, some kind of disagreementhappened to break out and
disagreement somebody stolesomebody's got stabbed
non-fatally like they.
They're not going to die,they're going to be fine.
They went to the hospital, gotpatched up, but uh, I guess this
(10:53):
was all hosted by a dude whocalled himself Lord Eddie
Davenport.
What so Lord Eddie Davenportwas putting on some orgy and he
got in a bunch of like drugdealers to kind of help keep
this like fueled cocaine drivensex party going.
(11:18):
And I've learned because it wasjust one of those you do a
quick little Google search to belike okay, that's a unique name
.
Like is this guy like anOnlyFans dude or something?
No, he evades his taxes.
He is a tax fraud dude.
That's why he's famous.
He doesn't pay his taxes andlike, people have been after him
(11:41):
for a while because of it.
And I guess this all happenedin England, of all places.
I thought it would happen herein America.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
No, but it's all the orgy happened in central London,
so the chick got railed inLondon, yeah, central.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
London 1057.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, well, I mean, that makes more sense.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I feel like that's like a Nevada thing.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Nah, that's definitely a London thing.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
Those Europeans, they're fucking sex maniacs over
there, dude, okay, that'sfucking wild.
I would have thought Amsterdambefore London.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I could see that.
I could see that, like London's, just like Chicago, there's
freaky people in Chicago.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
You're freaky people.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
There do be freaky people in Chicago.
You're freaky people, I do befreaky people in Chicago.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Switch is freaky people.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
But she do be freaky.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
She's super freaky, she's a very freaky girl the
spooky devil yes, the spooky,spooky devil, yes.
Well, that's fuckinginteresting.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yeah, that was a pretty good lore drop you hit me
with earlier today.
I was like did you hear?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
on the topic of Bonnie Blue, I saw a headline
that she's doing a new sex stunt, and it's just old men in
nursing homes.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh no, community service is community service at
that point.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Sure Okay, I'm helping them out.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
I'm on the way out, let me have this.
I gotta get to my room.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I gotta get to my room.
I just imagine the fucking olddude, the fucking Stan's fucking
grandfather, in South Park.
Hey, murky knows exactly whatI'm talking about.
I just imagine that.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
That's what's happening at that point to like
support for the old people tosupport themselves.
Like does she have to?
Like put her legs like throughlike a square of, like a walker
kind?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
of she bounces her ass so grab, but not have the
walker in the way what if, shelike, designed a special seat
for her to sit in for them, sothat, like they?
Can hover the walker over whileher legs are spread.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah or even like a wheelchair thing, maybe, like
just drive the wheelchair rightup and then just lower the
mechanism after she has thechild that she's now with you
know before for a limited oldguy green pies before limited
old guy.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
If she moves her hips up and down too quick she's
going to break their hip.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
We change cream pies to come cocky or come cake Damn.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Oh yeah, he's drinking some cum cake oh yeah
what flavor of cum cake.
Is that?
Speaker 2 (14:32):
it's butter pecan cream soda butter pecan cum cake
very delicious.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
You've had that in your fridge since the last time
we noticed that on podcast,haven't you?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I have yeah that wasn't that long ago, so
drinking non-alcoholic beveragesno, oh, speaking of which Coco?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
yeah, obs check has it crashed.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I'm not using OBS.
I'm using a dish audition.
We're not even recording videoanymore oh, we're strictly audio
yeah, figured let's just toomuch sexy's, just remove OBS.
I think, because OBS just keepscrashing you motherfuckers
never joined the fans Lee.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
Yeah, too much sex appeal.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I'll show you some sex appeal hey yo.
I'll show you my butthole heyyo.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
What.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Don't fuck your Garnivore plush.
It's not here yet, otherwise,otherwise, yeah, I mean there's
a werelord back there.
You want me to install aflashlight in this blowhole?
Cocoa you already already sewedin pockets, yeah, I'm gonna put
a flashlight in that's fuckingblowhole dude.
Then when I come, it spitswater out the top.
(15:43):
Too gross?
we're gonna put a fucking, thenwhen I come, it spits water out
the top too gross we're gonnaput a fucking, a little fucking
compressed air fucking thing atthe bottom too for some special
effects.
It's a little messy, especiallybecause I'm.
It blows nut everywhere blowsnut all over your ceiling yeah
that sounds awful.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
The air pressure is way too high fucking, fucking,
blows my dick off.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
It goes off while I'm fucking.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
It fucking blows my dick off, oh god well, it's like
if it's high enough, you thinkit would just enter your urethra
and like, blow your dick outlike a fucking hot dog in the
microwave, do a little soundingget a bigger dick.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I just can't go too bigger.
The skin starts splitting.
I don't like it.
I feel like it wouldn't doanything to the dick and your
bladder would just explode maybeif you're.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
I mean, I guess it depends on what kind of psi your
urethra can take I don't thinkit's a lot dude.
I mean just how much pierce islike close to it if it say, like
you got a pocket pussy.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I know, I know I'm not you're fucking, I know I'm
not gonna get through that.
I know I'm not gonna get thisanswer if I do a Google search.
But let's ask Gemini, how muchPSI can a urethra take?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Oh God.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Let's see what the AI says.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
I kind of don't want to know the answer but I guess
we're kind of trying to do that.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
You kind of do.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Well that's because it goes into depletion.
I'm asking the AI.
Well, that's because he wasinto deflation.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I'm asking the AI.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Let's see what it gives me.
What do you want?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Oh boy, hang on.
It is important to understandthat the urethra Is a delicate
structure and applying excessivePressure can cause serious
injury.
There is no PSI limit, astolerance varies between
individuals.
There's no cap.
Normal urethra functioninginvolves a certain level of
(17:57):
pressure to prevent involuntaryurine leakage.
Measurements are typicallyrecorded in centimeters of water
, not psi.
To give some context, one psiis equivalent to 70.3
centimeters of h2o.
Medical texting.
The pressures can reach 300centimeters, so 70 divided by
(18:19):
300.
I'm surprised it didn't give methat like in a uh in a thing,
but that's probably what.
Like 6 or 7 PSI, so not a lotyeah.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
so I guess it boils down to would you rather have
exploded microwave, hot dog dickor Hindenburg, a million pieces
bladder, and which one would beeasier to repair in modern?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
medicine If your bladder's gone.
Obviously the bladder's goingto be harder to repair.
You're not sure they got fakebladders the solution for fixing
the solution for fixing yourdick is if it's too damaged, cut
it off and then you live.
(19:12):
Blow up my bladder, okay anyway, so.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
I'm positive news after all that that I learned
today yeah, did you test thelimits of your bladder?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I've done that before with kidney stones.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
All that that I learned today.
Yeah, did you test the limitsof your bladder?
I've done that before withkidney stones.
Which one would you prefer?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Well, he knows what a blown up bladder feels like
what is a prosthetic bladder?
Speaker 4 (19:40):
I mean, how hard is that to put in?
Speaker 3 (19:43):
It's just gotta be a balloon at that point, right.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Just go grab a plastic bag from Costco and
stick it in you.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
But positive news I learned today the oldest llama
on the world.
Guess how old it is 69 yearsold.
No, it's not 69, but it's olderthan 16.
42.
No, no younger than 42.
Younger than 22 25 27.
(20:14):
I mean, I guess, three times,to be fair it is currently
living out the rest of its lifeat a camp for chronically ill
children.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
To just kind of help them have a good day and I was
like you were going to say ithas cancer or some shit like
that.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
No, it's just an old llama and he's living out.
He's been living at this campfor a few years now and he just
helps out kids with chronicillnesses.
I'm like, fuck yeah, llama,yeah, after the whole, you know,
hot dog in the microwave, dickthing you're gonna tell this
story two weeks from now.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
We're gonna heal to hear the llama kicked a kid in
the head and killed him.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Either that or fucking sniper took him out
thinking more natural causes,but I don't know who's sniping a
llama.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
People who listen to this podcast could happen.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
Feel like they.
They wouldn't snipe a poorelderly llama at that point,
like he's lived a long life,just let him go out you know
he's.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
He's probably thinking damn, I've lived a long
life.
Please, fucking let me go.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Every day I yearn.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
How do you know?
He's happy Can he talk Everyday.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I yearn for death.
Speaker 4 (21:32):
These goddamn kids coming out and pulling my yes,
that is what I said.
These goddamn kids coming outand pulling my hair.
They're spitting every timethey're talking.
Piece of shit.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
I spit on them every chance.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
I get.
But my mouth can't produce muchspit anymore because I'm old
jesus christ oh, these kids,these kids, today is gonna be
fucking just mentally unhinged.
Bring a switchblade and kill meand make a statement.
I'm gonna thank him, I'm gonnabless him and his family.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
He's ready to go, dude nice, that time it, that
time we can turn anythingawesome into terrible.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
That's our job.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
It's a good thing I'm glad this elderly llama is
helping children.
I don't know why I turned itinto one.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I took it too far.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
I took it too far.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Is he going to be hunting monsters right now?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
no, I'm looking at gear.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I mean you got the game up.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
I do yeah yeah he and switch has the game up switch.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I didn't expect to be here at the podcast.
To be fair, to be far.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
I had a whole segment to talk about his dick, and now
I can't switches actuallyplease do.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
I can't, why not he's here?
Act like he isn't here.
Weird corkscrew thing to himhe's a duck.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
How about this?
Speaker 4 (23:04):
he sent me a bunch of pictures of it and I was like
whoa, that's like duck dick.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I've seen his, I've seen one of his balls, and
that's it yeah, I've seen hisass that is true twice because
apparently I was the only onepaying attention to switch
walking away and he pulled hispants down all I'm saying is
we're all gonna be in the samehouse at once in about a month
(23:30):
from now.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
It's gonna be pretty crazy walk around naked in
Coco's house it's gonna become anudist colony.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
We just all walking around with our dicks fucking
hanging out.
Let's be real, the only personwhose dick's gonna be hanging is
Zeno's everybody else is gonnabe fucking well supported.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I feel like one of their balls.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Zeno's actually going to finally show it to everybody
, but it's just gonna be amassive fucking bush that's
covering everything you've gotthe grass tower.
Can we like that scene from uhharold and kumar?
3?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
the king of the jungle has to have a forest to
reside in.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
You know yeah jesus, fucking christ alright I've
never heard that.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
That's a good way to put it just a giant tree that's
a power move.
That's a good way to put it.
Just a giant tree.
That's a power move.
That's a power move oh, here'ssomething that happened
yesterday.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
For you nerds, a cheeto shaped like the beloved
pokemon charizard is auctionedfor $87,840.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
I hate it when food gets auctioned because it just
happens to look like some popculture thing.
That thing gets wet.
It's worthless.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
I still have a Mew cookie like the Oreo cookie,
because they were being sold forhundreds of dollars when they
first came out, because it wasso rare.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
How much is it now?
I don't know.
Let's look it up.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Probably not a whole lot.
I'd know, let's look it up.
Probably not a whole lot.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Is it like protected, or could rats have gotten it?
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Oh yeah, there's a listing for $5,000.
But there's also one for $10.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
That one's got mold on it.
That one's got mold on it $300.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
I could easily sell this for $100.
It's hey bag.
A couple hundred bucks off this.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I could easily sell this for $100.
It's just sitting in a drawer.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
In a bag, in a Ziploc bag $20,400.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Somebody sold it for.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Let's see.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
It sounds like you got $20,000 somewhere in your
house.
Can you?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
visit site.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Let me see how frequently you know, it sounds
like you got $20,000 somewherein your house.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Right, I'm moving back you visit site.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Let me see how frequently just buy the
neighbor's house and connectthem this one's been only
handled with gloves.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Uh, seller does not accept returns.
Imagine that.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
No shocking you return it half eaten.
It was damn.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
How long ago do these cookies come out, oh, I kind of
want some Oreos and milk in afew months.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
I feel like that's been a minute, like some time,
since the couple years.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I would say, yeah, a minute I feel like it's been
quite some time since the coupleyears I would say yeah Doesn't
show me how consistently they'vebeen sold.
I thought eBay did.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Well go search on.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
TCG players see if they have any fucking new cookie
for sale, Do you guys see?
Taco bell does like a fuckinguh cheese.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
taco, a fucking apple presentation for all of their
new fucking menu items thatthey're adding.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
I did yeah I got on the taco bell tiktok and it was
just presentation afterpresentation with some guy
giving Steve Jobs intros tofucking like new Taco Bell tacos
, we've hit the we say beef onevery other fucking item We've
we've hit the pinnacle of cheesetechnology.
(27:18):
The cheese is now the taco.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
I'm seeing a lot of listings for this cookie for
$150.
I could just undercut themarket for $100 $125.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I could just put it out there for $20,000 and
fucking be done with it that'dbe cool will the pack of Oreos
cost you $7?
Speaker 4 (27:40):
fuck, I don't know now you've got real life.
Rng too.
Go fuck yourself.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
This was Biden administration, so the cookies
were probably $5.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
What is it about sucking dick that makes you wake
up?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I mean, he sucks his own dick, so that's what wakes
him up.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I can't suck my own dick.
I guess I shouldn't say that Idon't know that I've tried.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
That's a lie.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
I might be able to in my back so fast.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I don't think Zeno would have very much of an issue
trying to suck his own dickCause it's so fucking large.
You're right.
That's why I was like surprisedthat you immediately said I
can't suck my own dick bro youcan just sit there laying on
your bed and your fucking dickhead is going to come up in your
nose.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
If you fucking roll the wrong way.
It does happen sometimes, youknow.
Get that morning wood, smackmyself in the face and wake me
up.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I'm like because it's always in your face when you
sleep, so you can't deal withyour own dick smell.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
Just like cuddling your own Like teddy bear all the
time.
He's got a full fucking bodypillow.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
He doesn't have to buy a body pillow, it's attached
to him.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
Oh god, that'd be funny as shit, thank god we've
dedicated the last five minutesTalking about Zeno's dick.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
That's what we always do.
I love it.
You're spreading the truth outhere.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
Thank, God, we've dedicated the last five minutes
talking about.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Zeno's dick.
That's what we always do.
I love it, you're spreading thetruth out here Spreading
something Ayo, ayo.
Well Now what Nothing coolhappened recently.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
I feel like some cool stuff.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Besides the fact that the trade war is on.
Or is it off now?
No, it's on, it's on full force.
I thought he rescinded italready now, I don't know no
this is why murky said bringback the public lynchings
(29:44):
executions.
Well, you corrected toexecutions, you did say
Executions is what I said thefirst time.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
That's not true For sure.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Everybody.
Speaker 4 (29:56):
And uh yeah, dude, I want to know why everybody's net
worth is way higher thananything their yearly salary
could ever be Every singlepolitician.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Where's your money?
Speaker 4 (30:11):
coming from.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
That's all.
It is dude.
Speaker 4 (30:14):
That's all it boils down to.
I'd have that greed If I was atthat kind of level and had that
kind of money in my face.
Dude fucking, who wouldn'tcrack?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
But that's just got to go away, the money's not
going to wouldn't, because Ialready got a big old dick.
So what else do I need?
Speaker 4 (30:29):
right, yeah, you would usually know, is the
fucking 0.01 Zeno, we're gonnacome break into your house or I
take everything you're fuckingworth you piece of garbage which
is mostly just my day.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
You got money and a huge dick like that's everything
I've ever wanted you everthought about getting that thing
modeled and making some moneyoff of selling sex toys shaped
like your dick?
Speaker 3 (30:56):
he doesn't need more money too.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
I think he could Zeno's now thinking about
looking into it.
I've seriously considered doingfeet pics look if somebody's
willing to pay for feet pics.
I don't care.
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I don't give a fuck if you jerk off to my fucking
feet you wanna see my two orthree red end of my toes.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
The other two look normal you like longer short
toenails, you got no shit.
Speaker 5 (31:27):
Like you want them painted, I don't give a fuck.
Nobody else is gonna see them.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
I will FedEx you these toenails so fast yeah, I
was like, dude, I would.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I was telling a co-worker yesterday.
I was like I would 100% sell apair of socks for like 10-15
bucks and he's like, yeah, butlike you would lose money.
I was like, no, because a pairof socks 10, 15 bucks.
A pack of socks of like threesets of socks is like 20 bucks.
Maybe fucking money comerolling in and people are gonna
(31:59):
pay more than 15 for a pair ofsocks too I'll give you 100
bucks for one sock sock.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
If you can get my socks, you can guarantee the
stank will stay.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
I do not want your socks.
I've smelled your feet.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
Nobody does, they are fucking terrible.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Nobody does.
Let me take that back.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
Let me roll that back .
There are some sick fucks outthere who might want my socks.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Oh yeah, they're juicy.
They fucking put that in theirfucking teacup.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Should.
Yeah, they're juicy.
They put, they fucking put thatin their in their fucking
teacup should we be calling ouraudience throw up?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
instead of using tea bags, they're using your socks
they put the tea in your sockand they use your sock as a tea
bag but should we be calling ourpotential new target market
market?
Speaker 2 (32:45):
disgusting though the fucking feel, like I feel like
they're actually.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
I feel like they want that point yeah, if you're
fucking making your tea, bagyour tea with your tea inside of
murky socks, you're want to becalled disgusting you're at a
different level they're aware ofwhat they are they know what
they're doing.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
There's no hiding it.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
Maybe you're right.
That's a very derogatorystatement in the book.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
I think we should all start selling feet pics and
reconvene on this in like amonth or two months and see
who's selling the most feet pics.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Maybe that's an exciting thing we can do for the
podcast the autistic man's feet.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Let's go to feetfinderscom.
We'll all make accounts andstart selling feet pics so you
can bring in the most dough.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
I'm going to put honey on my feet, I feel like I
need to get a pedicure.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
You're going to put honey on your feet.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
You guys want to go get pedicures together.
Hell yeah, let's do it nextmonth.
Yes, I do, let's do it nextmonth.
Speaker 5 (33:45):
Let's do it next month, okay, I'm so down, I am
so down.
All the girls are going to belike, where are you guys going?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
We're just going to be like uh, pedicures.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Why are our feet are getting touched, yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:59):
I couldn't do.
I just be grabbing the handlesjust trying not to laugh and
kick a bitch in the face.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Dude was just trying not to laugh and kick a bitch in
the face.
I've gotten two in my life andit was very difficult to stay
still, because I'm very ticklishI might be.
It was tough, you're right.
Leigh kept asking me she's likeyou okay?
And I'm like it's just ticklish.
She's like okay, that's fine, Ifine, like okay, let me do it
(34:29):
harder.
Yeah, she's like we stop nowand I was like no, it's okay,
just keep going.
Did she?
Did she speak?
Speaker 1 (34:35):
uh, let me kick you in the face a different language
, while she was, while you werebeing tickled oh yeah, she was
100 percent shit oh yeah, shewas looking at?
She was looking at her fuckingpartner over there.
She was like hey, watch this,you fucking squirm and you had
no idea.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
That was funny shit.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
You ever see those TikToks or videos where people
go to those places and they'reshit talking them, but the
person actually speaks thelanguage and they didn't think
that.
They're like, excuse me, andthen they start talking the
language back to them andthey're like, uh, uh, oh, uh, oh
, that's not good, I have fuckedup now.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
Those are always fun see, I walk into a place and
they look at me and they're likewell, we don't have to worry
about that happening they'relike this this fucker barely
understands his own languagethis stupid fuck fucking lubong
when he walks anywhere well, no,cause I felt bad the first time
I went.
Cause like she's using the onecheese grater and she switches
(35:45):
to the other cheese grater andshe switches to the other cheese
grater and then she startshollering how bad are your
fucking feet.
I got work at man's feet, homie.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
I work at man's feet, these things are calloused Beat
up.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
You need to put some work at man's feet.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
She went in the closet and they had to look for
this thing for a second.
They bring out like like cheesegrater comes out like the holy
light of dead skin eating, godhits it.
And then they bring it over andthis thing's fucking aggressive
, like huge, like a cheesegrater, like the pan style
(36:20):
cheese grater, but the curls onthem are huge.
I'm like you guys are gonnafuck me up with it.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Murky hit the upper limit of attachments for the
cheese grater.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
They then proceeded to fuck me up with this cheese
grater dude.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
You feel fucking great after you're done For two
days.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
Like, even if I wore shoes too long, it was like my
feet got tender.
I'm like god damn dude, howmuch skin did you take off?
Speaker 1 (36:48):
they probably took all the shit off.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
That was yeah, all the shit that needed to come off
.
Well, if I walk around softcarpet, that was the most
relaxing oh, dude it was fuckinglike a dream.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I remember when, um, I went to I was going to do get
the pedicure done.
I was taking a vacation withthe next girlfriend at the time
and this guy that I worked with.
His name was Garland, whichMurky probably remembers.
He's this bigger black guy,nicest guy ever, but like he's.
(37:21):
Yeah, I remember talking to him.
He's like what are you doing onvacation?
Like you got any plans orwhatever.
And I was like, hey, you know,girlfriend wants to go get
pedicures.
He goes dude, I'll tell youright now I fucking love that
shit.
Don't you let anybody tell youthat's some pussy shit, because
they ain't ever had that shitdone before, because they ain't
(37:42):
fucking man enough to fucking doit.
So you don't let anybodyfucking tell you you can't do
that shit.
I was like, yeah, yeah, youright, I ain't gonna let nobody
tell me I can't do it.
He goes dude, that shit feelsso fucking good.
I'd be doing that shit all thetime with my girl.
I was like, fuck, yeah, dude,it was a good time.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
He just left in the middle of that story.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Well, in the middle of that story, while he's still
listening.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
He's a bitch.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
He do be bitch material, though Big big bitch.
Speaker 5 (38:11):
He's a big, big bitch .
What makes?
You guys say that he's a bitch,because he doesn't have the
good luck in Monster Hunter.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Well, I don't have good luck in video games either,
but it doesn't mean, I'm a bigbitch.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
You don't play video games with us anymore.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
No, because you guys aren't playing games I'm
interested in.
I want to play with your wiener.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Oh, I'm interested in that game.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
So, uh, when are we doing that?
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Mergy, I can't believe.
You said that I was fucked upI'm intrigued that's pretty.
What?
Speaker 3 (38:51):
what you're intrigued about well, I mean where he
said he was going to put itsounds interesting.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Oh, I guess I'm interested in how he would do
that.
Yeah suppose that's not superweird, it's not?
Speaker 4 (39:10):
You don't have to blank out anal destruction, coco
.
You don't have to block thatout, it's fine.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Everything's fine.
Oh Okay, I must have misheardwhat you said Are you sure?
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Yes, I'm the new number one order of johnson's
baby oil.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
I'm sorry you're what I said, instead of diddy, I'm
the new number one orderer ofjohnson's baby oil I thought I
heard diddy in there.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
It's all for you, guys.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
I'm prepping for next month I'm going to show up with
like three backpacks on, likeone around the front and two on
my back, and they're all goingto be just stacked.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
You're going to have to at this point.
You might as well go to Englandand rent out that mansion and
do something wild with it atthis point, you guys could do it
with a bunch of old women abunch of old women think of the
money and the exposure you couldget for the podcast there would
be exposure there would beexposure.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
I don't know if that's the kind I want to fuck
with you're right, you're righteh sounds awesome yeah, I don't
know we have
Speaker 1 (40:31):
like at least 20 minutes left.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
I don't know if I can do that.
You don't know what.
I don't know if I can go thatlong.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
I knew you're usually like a one pump chump wait are
you talking about sex or thepodcast?
Speaker 4 (40:49):
that would never happen.
That's impossible for any.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
I still want to know what murky was saying I can't go
that long, for were you talking?
Speaker 4 (40:56):
about a thousand women, okay, yeah that's, yes,
exactly what I'm talking about.
Like there's no possible way.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
Anybody in the lester gaggis con you can't do it well
, I mean, he didn't do all thosewomen at the same time.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
I bet he would've right.
He had the ability to, I'm sureof it you put respect on
Genghis.
Khan's name right now.
Fucking Genghis.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Genghis Khan got a Genghis cock.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
I'm sure he did fuck, he's slinging that thing.
That's why he won all thebattles.
They were just intimidated offthe bat.
They saw that dude give theirspeech.
They were like whoa yeah that'swhy.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
The military.
It's like a fucking war crime,some shit, I don't know what.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Is that Little, the Littles the Littles, said
attention now.
Oh is that little?
Yeah, the littles, the littlesthe little, said attention now,
please, I need it, needs it.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Kate has been super aggressive with his attention
lately.
Speaker 4 (42:04):
Same thing with me, just like flops on me, king.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
I think it's because you're too far away from your
mic.
Speaker 4 (42:12):
King's old age is making him the same way.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Ma Could be.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
What are you doing Making?
Speaker 5 (42:22):
his kitty dance.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Making his kitty dance.
Making his kitty dance.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
I make Murky's kitty dance, if you know I'm lying
damn yeah, we'll just make thelast 20 minutes us hitting on
each other perfect yeah so funnystory from murky and I's
hometown.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Adam driver showed up at a random hole in the wall
bar last night at the shittiestbar in town.
Speaker 4 (42:51):
The shittiest bar in town.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (42:53):
The shittiest bar in town.
I get a fucking Snapchat fromBuddy's wife in our group chat
at a quarter after 11 on aWednesday.
First I'm like who's at thisshit bar at quarter after 11 on
a Wednesday?
And it was Adam Driver.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Yeah, I'm fucking crazy, adam Driver.
Yeah, fucking, crazy.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
Wow, yeah he is from our he is from your neck of
woods.
Yeah and yeah.
He was just at the shittiestbar in his hometown on a random
Wednesday night.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
It was good for him.
You know Right, he was probablylike you know what, I fucking
got drunk there before I wasanybody.
I'm gonna go check it out andeverybody respected him.
Speaker 4 (43:38):
I would definitely ask can you do the fucking?
Speaker 5 (43:43):
SNL.
Speaker 4 (43:45):
I want the SNL skit from medieval times.
I want the SNL skit when he isthe father on parent fucking job
day, whatever.
I can't think of what they callthat career day.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
Career day, your parents come in and tell him
what they do and he's like anoil baron my parents never did
that because my dad was the onlynever did that because my dad
was the only worker in the house.
Speaker 4 (44:14):
My dad was at work.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
My mom wasn't around and if my dad did that, then you
know we weren't bringing moneyinto the household because you
know my mom didn't work myschool never did career days no,
my school never did career days, no, no because they were smart
enough.
Speaker 4 (44:37):
No, motherfuckers were working.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
I just remember telling my classmates that my
dad worked on the Jurassic Parkvehicles because when Jurassic
Park 2 came out they were doinga tour of that like trailer that
went off the cliff in JurassicPark 2.
And at one point it broke downand they actually had the
(45:04):
repairs done at my dad's shopand so my dad like had us come
down to the shop so he couldshow it to us.
And I remember him telling melike, oh yeah, to the shop so he
could show it to us.
And I remember him telling melike, oh yeah, this is the one
that fell off the fucking cliff.
They brought it to us to fix itbecause they got to go get more
dinosaurs or whatever.
Like this is fucking so cool,hell yeah.
(45:24):
So I kept telling my classmates.
I was like, yeah, my dad workson all the vehicles from
Jurassic Park Because you knowthey're the only ones that can
handle the dinosaurs and he'stotally seen a dinosaur before.
He said he's going to bring onehome someday.
I'm going to have aVelociraptor as a pet Did he
ever bring one home.
That bitch no.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Damn.
Speaker 4 (45:47):
Unfortunately not Another disappointment from our
childhood.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yeah, fucking lied to me.
There were no dinosaurs on thatgoddamn trailer.
I should have known therewasn't.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
I would have heard them.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
They would have responded to my dinosaur calls
dude.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Can you give us one of those dinosaur calls?
Speaker 4 (46:06):
I played so much Dino Crisis on the PlayStation 1 to
be ready for that moment.
Dino Crisis fucked.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Dino Crisis was the shit.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
Absolutely fucked man .
You know what else fucked Turok?
Speaker 4 (46:23):
Turok was the best Dude.
Don't even get me started onTurok, dude.
Turok was the shit.
Turok.
This year it was pretty coolN64 Turok was the shit.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Yeah, it was pretty cool N64 Turok was the best N64
Turok was the shit for sure whogot me started?
Speaker 4 (46:42):
was like early 90's fucking PC, but it was 1999 and
Doom was out and my dad's bestfriend at the time.
But it was 1999 and Doom wasout and my dad's best friend at
the time, his oldest son, whowas like 10 years older than me
or like 8 years older than me,some shit He'd start PC and we'd
(47:03):
play Doom and he'd put in allthe cheat codes for me and I
could just fuck with the nailgun for fucking hours.
Dude the best.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Do you guys remember?
I don't remember at all whatthe name of this game was.
I remember it being on pc and Iplayed it at a friend's house
because I didn't have a pc at myhouse because we were broke
bitches.
Dear honor.
But no, it was like a dinosaurhunting game and I just remember
you would like select adinosaur that you wanted to hunt
(47:37):
and you would pick a weapon andthen you like went out into the
wilderness to hunt this monster.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
But it was like old school minecraft, fucking
graphics, kind of shit dinosaurhunter I couldn't tell you
dinosaur game that I vaguelyremember because it was at my
aunt's house.
She had a macintosh, but Iremember it was like this 3d
dinosaur game where you're likerunning around trying to pick up
(48:05):
eggs or something before like avolcano goes off or something.
Yeah, I don't remember that,but like I always remember that
game from time to time and I'mlike what the fuck was that.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
Yeah, I don't know what that dinosaur game was
either.
May never know.
Speaker 4 (48:23):
Grand Theft Auto 3.
Breaking into the cardealership, stealing the Banshee
, after you already put in R2,r21, r2 left out, right up, left
out, right up, got all theweapons and then you went
unlimited money and unlimitedhealth and the armor yeah
indestructible vehicle naturallyvehicle fly code.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
I used to do the vehicle fly code and the vehicle
float or vehicle drive on watercode and I would fly my vehicle
into the water and then land inthe water and fucking drive
away and be like fuck you, you,cop bitches you ain't gonna get
me.
Speaker 4 (49:01):
I was doing the tank and just turn my gun around and
use my gun like a fuckingaccelerator.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
That was the best that's some fucking shit yeah
good times, the true awakening.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
That was the best.
Speaker 4 (49:12):
That's some fucking shit that's fucking wild.
Grand Theft Auto 3 is the trueawakening.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
I played more Vice City than I did Grand Theft Auto
3.
Speaker 4 (49:21):
Luckily I had a brother that was six years older
than me and who had that on PS2and was like I'm gonna play
this when nobody's around.
And then I was fucking hookersand using RPGs to blow up shit.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
And actually, what are you supposed to do?
Speaker 4 (49:36):
those guys are fucked up because then you can kill
the hookers and get your moneyback.
I swear to god that was amechanic in the game that
explains a lot.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
That explains why you're such a horrible person no
well then, what does?
Speaker 4 (49:56):
oh, I wouldn't call murky a horrible person, I mean
after the shit xeno I openeddoors for old people what are
you talking about?
Speaker 1 (50:03):
but what did xeno do now?
Speaker 4 (50:04):
yeah, I've watched xeno spit a man's face and he's
like, oh my god, like what'sthis for?
As he's leaning on his walker,and then Zeno just smacked him
right across the face.
It was super fucked up.
Speaker 3 (50:18):
I have seen Zeno talk to an elderly customer, push
them down, slash their tires andthen walk off.
Speaker 4 (50:26):
You missed the part where he stood on the table and
pissed on him while he was onthe ground.
Yeah, you weren't even therefor that.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
He stood on top of the table and goes.
Speaker 4 (50:37):
I'm the king of the world.
He whipped out his dick,slapped the guy in the face with
it, never got off the table.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
I told you guys about my dream.
The guy was laying on theground.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
He peed on this lady in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (50:49):
This lady was trying to bang me.
Long story short, I was in arestaurant in my dream and in
the restaurant it was like halfrestaurant, half house.
And I asked this waitress waslike hey, I have to go to the
bathroom.
You guys have a bathroom.
She's like yeah, I'll show youwhere it is.
So I follow her to her bedroom.
(51:09):
Uh, she didn't take me to thebathroom and she was trying to
seduce me and I was like nah,lady, I just want to go to the
bathroom, leave me alone.
And she wasn't having it.
I was like I'm fucking leavingbecause I just gotta go to the
bathroom.
And I saw the bathroom on theway here, so I went to the
bathroom, start peeing in thetoilet.
She starts trying to come inthe door and her head's sticking
(51:30):
through the door.
I have my back against it,trying to push the door closed.
She keeps coming in.
So I just start peeing in herfucking face and I woke up.
I don't know what happenedafter that, but I fucking
probably was.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
That's why she didn't go away.
Yeah, it's fucked up, fucked up, it's horrifying.
We've all had.
Speaker 5 (51:45):
We've all had that thought of if, if you're peeing
and then you get jumped whileyeah, it's fucked up, fucked up.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
It's horrifying.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
We've all had that thought of if, if you're peeing
and then you get jumped whileyou're in a public bathroom,
what, what happened?
Speaker 2 (51:58):
I'm spraying.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
Everybody's had that thought.
Right, you just turn.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
I'm rubbing my nuts on somebody's fucking forehead
too.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
We've all had that thought.
Don't lie.
Speaker 3 (52:07):
Yeah, I mean nobody's disagreeing so far.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
Yeah don't lie.
Yeah, I mean, nobody'sdisagreeing so far.
You got talking to thelisteners, listeners at home.
Speaker 4 (52:17):
I fucking know you've done it.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
You're not good are you sitting on the toilet?
You're on.
You're at the urinal yeah, alsowhat you got yeah, once you
start the stream it doesn't stopfor anything.
So, like, if you need to getinto a fight, you're gonna be
like like this and it's stillpissing, it's still pissing.
While you're fucking in thefight, you might even take a
little bit of an aim and fuckingpee in their eyes.
Speaker 4 (52:41):
See at that point, if I'm already unbuttoned and
unbelted, I'm gonna pootie tangit.
I'm gonna whip my fucking beltout and just start busting
motherfuckers with it.
Speaker 2 (52:51):
I'm gonna be honest, I don't know what pootie tang
means yeah, what is thedefinition of pootie tang?
Speaker 4 (52:58):
um, pootie tang is a way of life, main character from
a movie.
I can't, god damn it.
I can't remember the exact nameof the movie.
I swear to god, this isactually a real thing.
Pootie tang yeah, the name ofthe character.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
I can't remember the exact name of the movie.
Speaker 4 (53:14):
I swear to God, this is actually a real thing.
Yeah, I don't believe you.
Pootie Tang yeah, the name ofthe character.
I can't remember the name ofthe movie, but he's really good
with his belt.
Maybe once again.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
I thought he was going to be like, yeah, this
movie.
No, he said it.
Speaker 4 (53:27):
I was hoping that was going to happen.
Speaker 3 (53:30):
Pootie Tang is the movie.
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (53:33):
Yeah, 2001.
Okay Huh.
Speaker 2 (53:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (53:39):
Go to even those, those clarifications.
Speaker 4 (53:42):
Basically, he gets his belt taken away at one point
.
No powers.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
Oh, so his powers comes from the belt.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
Is he beating people with his belt?
Yeah, of course nice.
So why is he beating people?
And he also doesn't?
Speaker 2 (54:00):
know why exactly is this happening?
Speaker 3 (54:02):
he's just the hero of the story.
That's what he does or a pimp,or oh, I think he's a pimp.
Probably been a minute sinceI've seen the movie, though it's
2001 humor.
Speaker 4 (54:13):
Oh, I think he's a pimp.
Probably it's been a minutesince I've seen the movie.
Though it's 2001 humor, I don'tfucking know.
Dude, it's been a long timesince I've seen that movie.
Yeah, but if I'm whippingaround with my dick out, having
to fight a bunch of people, I'mprobably not taking the time to
put my dick away and button upmy jeans.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Nah absolutely not, nah, and you're going to pee in
all of them.
Speaker 4 (54:37):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (54:37):
Yeah, I'm going to be peeing while I'm fighting,
pissing everywhere.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
Yeah, no way around.
It no way around it.
Speaker 4 (54:47):
Feel bad for the janitor after that.
Speaker 1 (54:50):
I mean there's going to be a lot of dead bodies on
the floor.
He's got a lot more than thatto clean up.
I think you've.
I think, or there could just beone body on the floor.
If you need a job to get yourass beat, yeah, I think the
person that you need toapologize to is the forensic
cleaning crew that's going toget called to that scene.
It's not going to be thejanitor dealing with that mess,
(55:15):
it's going to be the fucking CSI.
Night shift Got to be withlicenses and shit.
Speaker 2 (55:20):
And be like what happened here.
It's like, well, you're notgoing to believe this shit.
This man was jumped while he ispeeing.
You can imagine what happenedafter that.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
And you're like he hulked out and beat all over the
place.
There's piss and bloodeverywhere.
Speaker 4 (55:37):
Gross.
They open each stall door andthere's a dude stuffed in
fucking head first into eachfucking toilet.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
And there's fresh poop in each toilet.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
Their eyes are poked out by a shape that resembles
the tip of a dick.
Speaker 1 (55:54):
Poked out or dimpled that resembles the tip of a dick
.
Poked out or dimpled, like youfucking stuck your dick into the
into like a fucking orange anddeformed it a little bit
everybody has a mushroom stampyeah, yeah, I don't we have four
minutes, but we can end itearly anyway.
Got anything else you want totalk about man, I'm not
interesting.
Speaker 3 (56:13):
What I never have anything to talk about, I'm not
interesting.
Speaker 2 (56:18):
Except for the orgy.
What do you mean?
You talk about the whole orgything.
Speaker 3 (56:20):
Yeah, because I find weird shit to talk about, but
I'm not an interesting guy.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
Sometimes we are the weird shit that we find, you
know.
Speaker 1 (56:28):
Yeah, yes, I'll show you some weird shit, maybe Like
poop.
Yeah, you want to see some poop.
Speaker 4 (56:39):
No no I don't Okay, Ricky get your ass fucking back
here your naked body.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
What I can't end the podcast without Murky here hey.
Speaker 3 (56:51):
Now we can to say goodbye ready, goodbye, goodbye.
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