S4 E7: Goose Wars: When Wildlife Fights Back

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A simple encounter with an aggressive goose at a collision center parking lot spirals into the workplace conspiracy theory of the year. When our host defends himself with a plastic car part, he has no idea he's starting what his coworkers will soon dub a wildlife vendetta. The next day, bees mysteriously appear at the workplace, followed by a hawk the day after. Is nature targeting him, or is there a mole amongst the humans feeding information to the animals?

Between fits of laughter, we journey through gaming memories, from offering Kingdom Hearts advice to a first-time player to recounting epic betrayals in Among Us. One host describes successfully gaslighting an entire lobby after an obvious in-game murder, while another shares the terror of being hunted by friends in horror games. These shared gaming experiences showcase the friendship and rivalry that defines our group dynamic.

The conversation takes a revealing turn when we discover how much money we've collectively spent on Steam games over the years. With individual totals ranging from $3,749 to a staggering $11,641, we confront the uncomfortable reality that most of these games remain unplayed. This leads to reflections on childhood economics, including nostalgic discussions of "poor kid foods" like spaghetti with bread and butter that many of us grew up eating.

Whether you're interested in workplace humor, gaming stories, or nostalgic conversations about growing up, this episode delivers equal parts laughter and relatability. Have you ever wondered if the local wildlife might be plotting against you? After listening to this episode, you might start paying closer attention to those geese in the parking lot.

Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd

Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:01):
you're five minutes early you guys should turn your
cameras on.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
I'm gonna turn you on , baby with your teeth.
Oh, how does one turn on acamera?

Speaker 2 (00:13):
you guys won't know if I've been recording or not,
until you hear the episodeyou're right, but murky's the
only one that listens to theepisode.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
That's fair murky's the only one that listens to it.
I do, I know.
Last time I's fair.

Speaker 4 (00:25):
Murky's, murky's the only one, that crystal listens
to it.
I know.
Last time I said that murkylistened to the podcast, he
wouldn't know.
It don't though.
Nobody listens to the fuckingpodcast, except for probably
farha, did you?

Speaker 5 (00:35):
get a haircut recently murky yesterday nice
looking lined up the side dealgoing on.
It it's fucking straight back.
You're not straight backBagging the side.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
If you were like 10 years younger, you'd be like
your typical college douche bag.

Speaker 5 (00:55):
I feel like when I get my hair cut now you're just
a douche bag.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Now you're just a douche bag.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
You look like.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Faulkner.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Oh no, he got the haircut.
That's his haircut, man.
What do you mean?
What do you mean?

Speaker 5 (01:13):
I've been getting this haircut.
I've been getting basically thebald fade to something with a
high top since I was in my early20s.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Right, but you never swiped it straight back.
You swiped it to the side.
I don't know that.
Now you swiped it straight back.
You swiped it to the side.
Now you're swiping it straightback.
Have you done it?

Speaker 3 (01:30):
It's not straight back.
It's not straight back, no,it's fucking southeast.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Alright, yeah, is it southeast?

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
He's thinking his direction.
Yeah, it would be.
I'll believe you on that.

Speaker 5 (01:51):
Right now I should be almost looking like Dead Nuts
North.
So yes, it's, you can look atmy video.
It's as if the wind came out.
I just see the thumbnail andthat's enough for me.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
There's no penis.
I'll promise, I'll promise youthat.

Speaker 4 (02:06):
There's no penis.
I don't want to watch a videoof you pissing.
You almost did it from my eyes.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah.
I fucking, took a video of mepissing and sent it to Switch.
He said what are you doing?
And I said pissing.
So I had to take a video toprove it.

Speaker 6 (02:22):
I don't think you had to take a video.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
I understand what you're doing here.
I'm going to need you tofucking stop it.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
I'm going to need you to stop it.
Well, we are live.
We have been recording for thelast five minutes.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Hey Gabagool.
Uh, my dinner's almost done.
I'm gonna have to go grab thatin a couple minutes here.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
What do you got for dinner?

Speaker 1 (02:51):
I got uh chicken breast stuffed with broccoli and
cheese.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
I'm gonna have your breast stuffed with broccoli and
cheese.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Oh.

Speaker 5 (03:00):
Okay, that sounds good as a motherfucker.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yeah, what.

Speaker 5 (03:06):
Z or the chicken, yeah, both.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
Just the chicken and you being stuffed Like you stuff
anything with broccoli andcheese, and I'm fucking there
man, I'm going to stuff my asswith broccoli and cheese.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
You in Mergy.

Speaker 5 (03:16):
I bet, if you cut off one of my ass cheeks you could
fit so much broccoli and cheesein that, do you think?
I wonder what your ass tasteslike?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
cheese in that, do you think I wonder what your ass
tastes.
Like I bet.
Like Do you think your ass istough?

Speaker 1 (03:29):
I bet it's like a jerky consistency.

Speaker 5 (03:31):
Actually it's one of his favorite things for
cannibals to eat, because it ismuch like a ham hock.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Fucking Murky's got some ham hocks.

Speaker 5 (03:41):
Let me tell you, I'm saying like that's a good roast,
that's gotta be a 7 pound roastit's called rump roast murky,
you'd make a great rump roast.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Can you imagine the marbling on murky's ass when you
shave it?
I bet it's good.
I bet it's gonna do murky'slike I fucking about to shave a
slice off myself he's like I gota fucking full meal back there.

Speaker 5 (04:10):
I'm hungry, I don't know because between all of the
like, the venison and the highfish diet for like a very, very
large portion of my life, I feellike then it would have been
great, but now that you you know, the T-Bell and the McDonald's
is really making its fucking wayinto my lunch menu.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
It's true, you're going to be like poisoned.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Pretty soon he's going to be like a wagyu fucking
beef, except it's going to beas a rump.

Speaker 5 (04:41):
Wagyu is ready.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
I know it's supposed to taste great but those are
like obese fucking animals.

Speaker 3 (04:44):
How are they going?

Speaker 5 (04:44):
I mean really, I know it's supposed to taste great,
but those are like obese fuckinganimals.
How are they going to behealthy with that kind of fat
content?
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
It tastes great.
Right, I get that.
It doesn't matter to me.

Speaker 5 (04:58):
I don't disagree.
Fuck you PETA.
It tastes fantastic.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Fuck you.
Peta People eating tastyanimals pita's dog shit.

Speaker 4 (05:09):
Yeah, pita is awful, they put down more animals than
they save it's because they'renot in the business of saving
animals.

Speaker 5 (05:16):
They're in the business of taking animals from
humans under the guise of thebusiness, of making money, is
what they're in the business.
Well yeah, so what I'm hearingis they're in the business of
misery.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
I'm in the business of making money.
Is what they're in the business?
Well, yeah, so what I'm hearingis they're in the business of
misery.
I'm in the business of misery.

Speaker 6 (05:29):
Let's take it from the top.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Let's take it from the top.

Speaker 5 (05:33):
PETA's got a body like an asshole.
That's a.
You know, once a whore.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
You know, PETA's always been a whore, well Fuck
you.
Peta, fuck you.
Peta's always been a whore,well Fuck you PETA, you guys
remember.

Speaker 5 (05:50):
Chain of Memories.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Remember, chain of Memories.
I remember Chain of Memories,krista's playing Kingdom Hearts
right now.

Speaker 6 (05:58):
I am.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
She's currently in the end of the world or whatever
, right?

Speaker 6 (06:04):
Well, I don't know, somehow I'm back in the third
district of Traverse Town.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Now, that happens, that happens.
You're going to be doing that abunch.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
Oh boy, hi Hi.

Speaker 5 (06:19):
What kind of gummy ship did you build?
That's the real question.

Speaker 6 (06:22):
I have not built a gummy ship.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Good answer, Dude.
That shit's a waste of time,dude.

Speaker 6 (06:30):
Not a single time have I built a gummy ship.
Just buy the pre-built ones.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, that's kind of what I did.

Speaker 6 (06:36):
I have so much money and literally nothing to spend
it on.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
I wish I had that problem in my current
playthrough.
You'd be like that.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
You've not been upgrading Donald and Goofy's
weapons.

Speaker 6 (06:49):
Am I supposed to be doing that?

Speaker 2 (06:54):
We did kind of tell her fuck them too, don't spend
anything on them Back when shewas in Alice in Wonderland, so I
can see how she didn't upgradeanything the entire game.

Speaker 4 (07:06):
So basically what I'm hearing is Chris is playing
this entire game on hard mode.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
I mean to be fair.
Donald and Goofy don't reallyhelp that much anyway.

Speaker 4 (07:15):
You shut your fucking mouth.
Goofy holds the record as theMVP.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
Yeah, goofy's also.
Donald can go fuck himself.
Goofy and Donald are also dead.
Every time I play the gamebecause I play on the hard
difficulty, you're about to bedead.

Speaker 4 (07:28):
if you talk shit about Goofy one more time Looks
like I win the next person beingkilled argument Fuck you E
You're right by my hands,motherfucker, you're not the
next to die.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
It's me Eat my fucking ass.

Speaker 4 (07:41):
That's how you're gonna die do it.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
He's gonna cannibal your ass.
We're actually all gonna eatyour ass because we're really
invested in this ass marblingconversation you know he's gonna
fuck it.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
He's gonna make the uh starting goofy shield and
just beat you to death with itthe one with the spikes coming
out the side, or is that adifferent one I'm thinking of, I
feel, like the starter is justlike the.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
Mickey emblem.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
I bet you that Mickey emblem is pointy.
It's textured, it's probablygot some sharp edges.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
It's textured.
Is that what you said?

Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, M-I-C-K-E-Y in my fucking ass.

Speaker 6 (08:24):
So just out of curiosity, no, the answer is no,
I'm sorry what?
How does one upgrade Donald andGoofy's weapons?

Speaker 4 (08:34):
there's different vendors throughout the different
worlds just don't bother withanything else at this point.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
You're right about that.
I think you craft those ones.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
I think you can go to Traverse Town yeah.

Speaker 6 (08:46):
Yeah, craft, I can't do that with weapons, yet,
though I have to finish doing itwith items first, I think.

Speaker 5 (08:54):
You have to go to the Moogle Shop first.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
I'm pretty sure you have enough things at this point
, Krista, to just blaze throughcrafting all the items you need
to do those the sword and shieldIf you're at the end of the
world.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
Whoa.

Speaker 6 (09:11):
Every time I get a group of Heartless that comes by
, I kind of just walk past them.

Speaker 4 (09:19):
Have you at least been trying to kill the
mushrooms.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
No, oh no.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
I know what this is.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
You're not juggling trouble right now, let's be
honest, though, she's doing atrue first-time Kingdom Hearts
experience.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
We were all 10 years old when we played it, we
weren't fucking with it, damn.
All I gotta say is this girlplays games harder than I do.
Fuck what she's just a girlyeah, she's built different.
Fuck, she's probably better atthat game than xeno is right now
she has I bought the startingweapons.

Speaker 5 (09:57):
I believe it just gonna say I bought the strategy
guide I couldn't afford thestrategy guide.
It was like the last of mybirthday, buddy, I think I got
the game and then it was like acouple days later I was like we
gotta go back to the store.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
I don't know what I'm fucking doing.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
I didn't even own the game I had to go over to a
buddy's house who also didn'thave the game, but his.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
His older sister had the game and we would go in her
room and steal it while she wasat work and then we just had to
return it before she got home.
Is that stealing?
Or borrowing A little bit ofboth.
I mean, she would have beenpissed about it if she found out
.

Speaker 5 (10:39):
Why?
I mean, you gave it back.
I would say borrowing.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
But is it borrowing if you do it back?
I would say borrow, but is itborrowing if you do it without
somebody's knowledge of it?

Speaker 5 (10:49):
consent and then you get it back to them and they
never know the difference didher parents buy the disc for
them?

Speaker 2 (10:56):
if?

Speaker 1 (10:56):
you broke it, then you would have stolen it she was
like a full grown adult, solike she bought it herself maybe
she should lock her door.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
She didn't want it to be stolen.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
I don't think she ever suspected it to get stolen,
you know.

Speaker 5 (11:15):
Right, because it got borrowed, because it was
getting borrowed.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Right, because I was the agitator and was like hey,
let's fucking go in there andtake this shit.
It would be Fucking.
Play Kingdom Hearts bro.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
You're a piece of shit.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Listen, you did what we had to do back in the day.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
I can't say anything.
I didn't play Kingdom Heartsuntil Kingdom Hearts 3 came out.

Speaker 5 (11:39):
Like leaving your fucking PlayStation on for
multiple days at a time.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
I have done that for other games.
I remember doing that forfucking gran turismo whenever I
was doing a 24-hour race,because I wasn't gonna do the
whole thing in 24 hours, so Idid it over fucking like seven
days.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
The single worst thing my brother ever did to me,
which there's a long list ofshit I assure you.
The worst thing was is I shareda ps2 uh memory card with my
dad.
It was like dad owned thememory card.
My brother and I could use itso long as it didn't interfere
with what he had saved on thememory card, which fair, um.

(12:19):
So I had my save file ofKingdom Hearts 2 on there,
hadn't quite beaten the game,yet my brother went in there and
saved over some of my dad'sshit.
And so when my dad went to goplay, he's like what the fuck?
What happened to my stuff?
And my brother goes, yeah, no,sean did that.
He saved over your stuff forhis Kingdom Hearts game or

(12:41):
whatever.
So my dad deleted my file.
And so when I went in therenext, I was like what happened
to my kingdom heart stuff?
My dad's like, yeah, you savedover my shit.
And I was like, no, I didn't,brian did.
And he's like, oh well, youknow, brian said you did it, so
sorry, I fucking deleted yourshit, right.
And I was like this is fuckingbullshit.

(13:01):
And I me and my brother got inthe biggest fucking backyard
brawl ever.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
I was so fucking mad he did.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yeah, my dad did and he's like I'm going to delete
all of Brian's shit now becausehe lied to me and now you know
he lied to me.

Speaker 5 (13:19):
If you're willing to fight him over this fucking
saved age.
I'm guessing he probably did it.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
I beat the bricks off of him.
Dude, my dad, just let usfucking fight too.

Speaker 5 (13:31):
You won the fight, so he kept any saved age that you
got and just deleted it becausehe was the loser.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
My brother got his Aspie and also got all of his
shit deleted off the memory card.
And then, like two days later,I traded an Egyptian god card
for off the memory card.
And then, like two days later,I traded an Egyptian god card
for a fucking memory card.

Speaker 5 (13:50):
Which one?

Speaker 1 (13:52):
It was Obelisk it would be.
I didn't care about it.
I wanted Slifer anyways.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
So what I'm hearing is that beatdown didn't teach
your brother anything.

Speaker 1 (14:03):
No, no, definitely not.

Speaker 5 (14:05):
You should have hit him harder.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
Me and my brother would fight all the time when we
were kids.

Speaker 5 (14:14):
I wish I could have fucking fought my brother when I
was a kid, but he had six yearsand hundreds of pounds on me.
No Best way I could do it.
The ultimate revenge is I wouldjust bend at a 90 degree angle
and run as fast as I could andsquirtle, use skull, bash and

(14:34):
either stomach or nuts.
That's where I was going.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
That's a win.

Speaker 5 (14:40):
Yeah, I'd drop him and then fucking he'd say he was
going to kill me and I'dfucking run away and he couldn't
catch me who do you think wouldwin in the fight today, mark,
if you were your brother me?

Speaker 1 (14:51):
100 I mean it would be an endurance fight and it
would last all of like 10seconds but between you and your
brother, who can sing ice ice,baby better.

Speaker 4 (15:02):
Oh, 100 his brother, 100 him we'll admit during your
birthday, that dude justdestroyed that song.
He's so good, he's so good, itwas so good it's uncannily good
dude, it's, it's dumb.

Speaker 5 (15:17):
I hear other people do that for karaoke and like
they do well, and I'm like you,fucking suck your ass.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
You're garbage, you fucking lose your ass.
You're garbage, you fuckingloser.

Speaker 5 (15:26):
You don't sound better than the 1990s fucking
actual music video.
You piece of shit.
My brother's better than you.
He has like the funny like bigguy going thing for him too.
So like it doesn't even have tobe that good, it could be
moderately decent and peoplewould still be like fuck yes, oh
, because he's fucking he'sfucking wiggling his body up

(15:49):
there too, while he's singing it.
He's right he's dropping thelbs.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
Though he's dropping the lbs you do be doing that for
him murky's drop dropping thesigs.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Brian, when's the last time you had one 20 dollars
?
A little bit ago well, fuck, Iwas hoping for something other
than that I bet.

Speaker 5 (16:09):
So I have gone from two packs a day at a minimum to
under a pack a day damn, that'simpressive.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
That's a big improvement.

Speaker 4 (16:17):
Good job yeah better than nothing I would have to
agree with that.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
I would have to agree with that Zeno that looks so
good that's pretty good.

Speaker 4 (16:29):
I want some for our listeners.
He's talking about Zeno's dick.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
He just whipped it out on camera and started
stroking it well, he had toprove to me that something, that
something wasn't wrong with hisdick, because I said his dick
was fucking weird earlier toobad.
Nobody got on the fans, lee,that could have been there.
Could have been there, yeah.
I don't even record the videoanymore, so it wouldn't even be
recorded.
You could whip your fuckingdick out and nobody would

(16:53):
fucking know about it, exceptfor us in the room, I could show
my asshole right now.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
Oh my god, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
Some things can't be unseen Is oh my god, some things
can't be unseen.
Is this supposed to be?

Speaker 4 (17:04):
bulging like that.
Is this supposed to be an outie?
Why is it?

Speaker 5 (17:10):
winking at me.
Have you ever seen Body Rotten?

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, why does it have two eyes?

Speaker 2 (17:18):
They made a new hole.
What the fuck?
It's the two eyes, black dragon, excuse me.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
So at work, I have been dubbed like the king of the
goose.
Not the king, but like thefighter of geese.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah, explain to me what's going on with the fucking
geese and.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
It's a pretty hilarious story.
What's going?

Speaker 2 (17:41):
on right now, Like what did you do?

Speaker 4 (17:44):
You obviously did something.
The worst part is is, I wasjust there.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Okay, that checks out .

Speaker 4 (17:53):
I was taking out the trash and, because you know I
work at a collision center,there's a lot of large plastic
pieces that I would throw outbecause we scrap the metal and
I'm holding.
I don't even know what itbelonged to, I just remember it
was kind of square and there'slike a big bump in the middle.
I'm assuming it went like undera bumper or something or grill

(18:16):
or whatever, but I heard a hisssound.
So of course, naturally, I turnin to look in that direction
and there's a goose gettingready to like get its wings out
and look big at me and like tryto chase me.
So I just swept motion with myright hand, smack this goose in

(18:36):
the face with that plastic pieceand then just casually walked
back inside and went well, I'mnot going back out for a bit.
Casually walked back inside andwent well, I'm not going back
out for a bit.
And progressively throughoutthe day, more and more geese
showed up outside.
One showed up with its entirefamily and I'm like goddamn,
this goose told the other geesearound that there was going to

(18:58):
be a round two and it wanted tostart shit.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
He's not exaggerating .
Like I've never seen this manygeese around this fucking
building.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
This is like you fuck it's like this goose called you
the fucking afterworks fightlike you would have, like after
school fights and like everybody, everybody would fucking.
Mine was like at the chains,because there was chains outside
in the back so everybody wouldfucking gather around at the end
.
Fucking the geese are just herewaiting, fucking placing wagers
and shit on.
A good old fuck up placingwager.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
Oh my god all right how many of us were at the back
door like honking, yeah, likecome on, bitch I ain't hear no
fucking bell.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
I just imagine if you , if you played that security
tape back, you could add somecartoon sound effects of him
like taking that taking thefucking bumper and swinging it
and just going when he hits thefucking goose in the face and
then it can turn into a superphoto realistic goose picture
would there be any securitycamera footage of him doing that

(19:59):
?
No damn, that would have beenincredible.
You would have had to havesaved that if it existed
absolutely.
If it existed Absolutely, if itexisted.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
I would already have it.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, I picture a photorealistic goose just pops
up on the screen, call inreinforcements, and then every
flying V instead of landing nextto this fucking body, yeah
instead of what's his name, fromfucking Penguins of Madagascar,
it's like instead it's a goose,but with that attitude, right

(20:33):
that's very funny if we hearfucking more lore.

Speaker 4 (20:38):
This is just day one, yeah the next day they sent
bees and I think this one'sgonna be more of a Zeno because
I only saw really the aftermathof it, but there was a fuck ton
of bees outside of our garage.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
So this whole goose scenario is set off a conspiracy
theory within the shop.
Nobody knows who to trust nowshop and nobody knows who to
trust now.
So the next day, uh, we had afinished a truck for a company,
parked it out front of our umshop and like an hour or two

(21:16):
later we just noticed there's aswarm of bees around this truck
and the owner goes out and looksat it and they're building a
hive in the tailpipe of thistruck.
So he goes out there, startsthe vehicle and just moves it,
so the exhaust would like chasethe bees off and stuff and they

(21:40):
ended up like wandering on theirway.
But it turns out that he andour shop manager have the same
first name.
So the bees flew away and uh,the owner and uh, our other gal
that's uh, is in the office,start working up this conspiracy

(22:02):
theory.
They were like man, what if thegeese sent the bees after e?
And then, uh, I think my bosssuggested that and then the
other guy that works in ouroffice, her name's tori.
She goes, what if, like, theygot some bad info and they heard
that, like, he's allergic tobees, because the shop manager

(22:24):
is allergic to bees.
But they got the wrong guy andlike they got their information
mixed up and I was like, guys,if that's the case, there's a
mole amongst us.
Somebody gave them thisinformation.
The geese asked for dirt on E.
That person gave them dirt,thinking they were talking about

(22:44):
the other person.
We're like, oh shit.
So it's a huge conspiracytheory now that the animals are
working against E to take himout now and there's a mole
amongst us feeding them thisinformation.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
Wait, I got an.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
I got something to actually be a mole.

Speaker 3 (23:01):
I was absolutely just , I was just going to say that.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
What if you?

Speaker 1 (23:07):
and today there was a hawk.
There was a hawk today.

Speaker 4 (23:11):
Big motherfucker.
I think he was More justchilling around me or he was
collecting info or something.
Because, again, I was going outTo take out the trash and I
just heard every small Birdaround me just screaming and of
course I had a click like, okay,they're screaming at something

(23:33):
that shouldn't be here, becausenormally they just ignore me.
So I kind of look around andprobably a good 18 feet away
from me, boom, there's just ahawk just standing there with a
wide stance.
He was standing very awkwardlyand I'm like, oh okay, took a
picture, went back insideserious told some of the other
people like, oh, there's a hawkout there.

(23:53):
They went out to look no hawkhawk had left.
So the next time that I was outthere because I was grabbing
more stuff from our like trashcans all throughout the shop
came back out.
The shop manager came out withme point half this, like tiny
little robin, and was like, oh,is this that bird of prey?
You saw I was like no, no, he'snot bird of prey.

(24:17):
And then birds started actingup again.
Him and I look over this hawkswoops down and lands on
electrical pole that's rightnext to our dumpster and it
starts looking down at us andhe's 100, 100, told this hawk,
fuck that guy up.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
That's their hit man, for you see no, I think.

Speaker 5 (24:38):
I think this is more of the mole contacting the hog.
Be like hey, you need chasethese geeks off.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Like they're on to us , like they're on to me it's
like that one episode of rickand here's some fucking cash you
guys ever see that the episodeof rick and morty, where fucking
rick gives morty a helmet thatlike lets him talk to squirrels,
and then the squirrels like allrise up and they're like he's
on to us and they start chasinghim and fucking rick's.
Like you never fuck with thesquirrels, morty.

(25:03):
Now we gotta go find a newreality, cause you can't fuck
with squirrels.
Fuck you, morty.
You ruined it.
You fucking piece of shit.
Because the squirrels startedfucking chasing him.
Because the squirrels were likethe secret society that nobody
knew could talk.
But like once he startedunderstanding them, they were
like hey, kid, what you doing?

(25:24):
This sounds like this Human boycan you hear us Sounds like
what's happening right now.

Speaker 5 (25:33):
Well, one thing's for sure he has earned himself a
new nickname.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
Send it.
Oh God damn it.
What is it Nice.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
Ronnie Goose, gladiator beautiful we've been
saving trash pandas out of thetrash recently well, yeah,
they're hiding from the they'rehiding from all the fucking
assassins that have been sentafter Ronnie the raccoon what's
super funny is when I first sawthe picture I thought you just

(26:06):
took a picture of trash.
I didn't see the raccoon.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
I thought he took a picture of trash and said I
found E he's fucking trash.

Speaker 4 (26:14):
You did not see the raccoon.

Speaker 5 (26:18):
It was just a baby.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
I saw it.
E and I were on our way backfrom lunch to the shop and he
was like I saw this picture andI legit thought Murky was just
calling me trash, because hetook a picture of the inside of
a dumpster.

Speaker 3 (26:31):
I was like I thought the same thing laughing,
laughing, laughing, laughing,just a little baby, baby trash
panda little baby trash pandathat's incredible

Speaker 5 (26:47):
that is very funny I little baby trash panda.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
Little baby trash pandy.
That's incredible.
That is very funny.
I saw the trash panda so I knewit was immediately being talked
about.
I didn't know you couldinterpret that any other way,
because it was very visible.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
It was once I was looking for it Once I noticed it
was there.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
That just tells me that Zeno you think of E as
trash and E thinks of himself astrash.

Speaker 4 (27:09):
And I must just think we already knew that, and I
just think E's a raccoon.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
That's why I saw it first.
So, zeno, you're a terriblefriend.

Speaker 5 (27:17):
E's actually multiple raccoons just in a human skin
suit.

Speaker 4 (27:22):
Actually, what's funny is I did go to the car
shop with Zeno thinking, oh,maybe we might do the tournament
thing.
So I changed my name in theBushy Road app to 10 raccoons
out for Zeno's blood in a trenchcoat.

Speaker 3 (27:42):
Oh, that's very funny .

Speaker 4 (27:45):
But we didn't do it, so nobody saw it, so nobody
could get a laugh out of it nexttime.

Speaker 5 (27:51):
I just did.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
I just got a little, I think it was funny, haha, haha
.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
Speaking of G's, I saw a fucked up thing last week
that happened to do with a goose.
Was it a crackhead fucking agoose?
it was a swan drowning a goose,so I was leaving work and the
path that I take is right nextto a martins's and somebody was

(28:29):
leaving a martin's.
It was a big black silveradotruck comes hurling out, there
is a goose that is just tryingto walk across the street, slams
into this goose.
This goose just goes spiralingin the air, lands on the
sidewalk, neck bent back.
It's just dead and I'm stilljust like driving, but I slow

(28:50):
down a little bit to be likewhat the fuck?
Because it caught me bysurprise and out of fucking
nowhere.
There is a dude on a motorizedunicycle on the sidewalk just
comes up and he is wearing likesweats that are purple with
lightning strikes all over them,a gray hoodie and no shoes

(29:17):
drives past no shoes, drivespast this goose, turns around in
the martins parking lot, comesback up to it, pulls out his
phone and starts recording thedead goose, and I'm pretty sure
you encountered a fact.
It wouldn't surprise me at thispoint.
Man Arch, I didn't interactwith it so I guess I'm not

(29:42):
cursed, but it was a uniqueexperience.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
If they are going to show up anywhere, that's the
place it's probably going to bethat area of.

Speaker 5 (29:51):
Elkhart, let me tell you this just feeds more into
the goose controversy.
At the ghetto fucking grocerystore, yes, where the unicycle
man pulls a Yui to record saiddead bird.
We're not entirely certain thatthe goose was not also a fae,

(30:12):
oh true.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
Yeah, okay, god damn it man.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
What if the goose that you hit in the face was a
fae?

Speaker 5 (30:22):
Oh shit yes.

Speaker 1 (30:26):
And now the conspiracy comes together.
Yeah, the conspiracy evolves.
I must suggest that I wouldn'tget in now.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
It was mean to me.

Speaker 4 (30:39):
He yelled at me.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
I just do my job.
I'm going to bring this to worktomorrow and they're gonna be
like what the fuck is a feyJesus Christ and now I leave you
guys with our sponsor Murky.

Speaker 5 (30:54):
I'm gonna go pull a cocoa and beat my dick to MLP
beating your dick to.
Mlp only the cool kids do it oh, that's the wrong one.

Speaker 1 (31:06):
This is one I want you turned black by the way.

Speaker 4 (31:09):
Oh, there you go, there you go.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
There we go.
Do I have any more?

Speaker 5 (31:13):
Uh, yes, oh, you're a dick in my ass.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
Thanks for the ad break, murky, this seems like a
separate, like subcategory ofvoice channel.
I just need a folder forMurky's voice.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
We just need to make a whole Discord just so we can
put the voice lines in it.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
Do you have anything?

Speaker 5 (31:36):
If I die early on, you guys can still have
full-blown conversations with mejust by listening, you're not
wrong.
God, I miss Murky.
You're dicking my ass.
Oh, there he is.
Never mind, don.
I miss Berkey, you're dickingmy ass.
There it is, there it is.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
Flag you up, berkey, we know about your little dick.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
I see the struggle.
I see the struggle.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
Oh no, I got it with the.

Speaker 5 (32:14):
M and sip, no squirt take.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Oh squirt take.

Speaker 5 (32:19):
I mean like if I'm trying to hold it and just like
pops out of my mouth a littlebit, yeah, I'd call that
squirting.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah, I would call that a squirting, too, huh.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
Come on, Matt.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
Matt's like gotta go.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
Matt's like this is fucking too much for me.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
I've got my pussy Okay.
Now we're getting a littlecrazy here.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
I think that's the only one I have from you.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
That's good.
No, you got shadow bitches.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
You should have a few , yeah but that one's the
funniest.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Murky has so many fucking gems.
How about that?
One of you shadow bitches?

Speaker 5 (32:53):
farted.
One of my favorite ones fromzito is still fucking barbecue
sauce on your titties, bitch.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
Oh did we have like because I think you like were in
the other room and you just go,whoa, and I was like, yeah,
yeah that was to the taco bellone remember when you came back
streaming one time and we hadlike a bunch of holy abredeems
for you.
Yes, oh yeah, barbecue sauce onyour titties, bitch I had to

(33:21):
like mark them off with liketally marks, to make sure I
didn't forget any of them.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
Man, I miss the days when you streamed.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
That's unfortunate.
I miss watching you stream.

Speaker 5 (33:36):
I was playing Faz at the same time and I'd have his
stream on my phone just silent.
So as soon as a hunt started orsome shit I would know in game,
and then I'd redeem bangs andfucking eat Sean's asshole with
him the first time he did it.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
I about shit my pants , like you could see me like
start to get up from my chairbecause I was so scared.
I need to check if I have towipe yeah, and then like Becca
was laughing in the other roomtoo and I was just like we're
both trying to fucking hide andnot lose our shit laughing,
because she was also watchingthe stream and watched me almost

(34:14):
shit my pants.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
That's pretty funny.
What are you doing, Rivet?

Speaker 5 (34:21):
One of them.
You pulled like a full 360.
She's going feral.
You jumped and got scared andyou were literally the opposite
way.
You'd whip all the way around,go in a room.
You're like god fucking damn itgod, fuck me.

Speaker 4 (34:35):
Zeno and I have a co-worker who's been playing
Phasmophobia, so Zeno has beendigging out his old clips and he
came across one where I likealmost boned him in Phasmophobia
.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
Yeah it was the one where, uh, he kept saying
jennifer, as he is walking outthe murky, and I fucking get the
door slammed in our face orjust like shit.
I was like what that clipdoesn't show.
Is he on the other side of thewindow looking ass going?
Please don't die.

Speaker 5 (35:04):
Please don't die, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, please
don't die.
You can hear him in that tiktokclip.
I literally just I just watchedit yesterday.

Speaker 4 (35:11):
Oh, oh no, oh no, I've doomed them, I've doomed
them please live, please.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
My favorite clip from a horrid scare, like in a co-op
game, was when he and I wereplaying devour and I remember
turning down a hallway like hewas like hey, we need this item.
Was like perfect, I know wherethat is.
I turned down a hallway andstart to walk away and the
fucking thing snatched my ass up, scared the shit out of me, and

(35:43):
he's in the background.
You can hear him go.
She just ganked her ass andthen she carries me outside.
He finds me.
He's like cool, I'm gonna goget a health pack.
He goes back into the house andthe bitch does the same thing
to him, grabs him and he'sresponses it was so fucking

(36:07):
funny.
Responses, war, it was sofucking funny.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
Devourer was a good game too, there haven't really
been any fun horror games likethat recently.
Devourer is like you have tosacrifice the 10, whatever items
, the 10 baby dolls or whatever.

Speaker 5 (36:29):
I was thinking of in silence, where someone's the
rake yeah, talking wicked shitto me when I was the rake he was
fucking juking you out he brokemy ankles this shit was so
funny he was fucking drunk ashell, talking mad shit.
E had to sing you a song.

(36:50):
Yeah, E had to sing me a.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Christmas carol to survive.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
I don't think you did .
I remember Before you.

Speaker 5 (37:00):
Dashing through the snow In a one horse open rake.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
Over the fences.
We go laughing all the way thatone game was hilarious because
you would have, like you couldhear the rake.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
I enjoyed that voice line right you could hear like
the person speak as the rakeright and like you could also
hear the teammates, but like youcould just fuck with them.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Yeah, there's like right, and like you could also
hear the teammates, but like youcould just fuck with them.
Yeah, there's like what doomedme one time is E and I were in
this house together and the rakewas our old buddy, ryan, and he
starts walking into the houseand he sees E and, just like,
starts making a beeline to himand he goes, wait, wait, before

(37:47):
you do this.
And he snatches him up.
E flashbangs him and, like ithas proximity chat so you can
hear E running away and as he'srunning away, he's going E chip,
motherfucker.

Speaker 6 (38:01):
I laughed so fucking hard.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
I was crying.
I couldn't fucking move.
The rake immediately saw me,fucking, snatched me up and
killed me.
I was like I couldn't fuckingdo anything.
I was laughing so fucking hardat E, saying E shit,
motherfucker, and hearing hisvoice fade into the distance as
he fucking ran away.
I was done sometimes.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
I can be funny dude, we.
We should boot that game backup and see what happens, does it
?

Speaker 1 (38:30):
still work.

Speaker 4 (38:30):
It's rampant with hackers that will just go into
the lobby and destroy it.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
Oh, even if it's a private lobby.

Speaker 4 (38:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
That's unfortunate, really.

Speaker 4 (38:41):
Yeah, developers gave up hope on it because they
couldn't stop them.
Yeah, developers, like, gave uphope on it because they
couldn't stop them.

Speaker 3 (38:46):
I died.

Speaker 5 (38:52):
Unfortunate space Ben .

Speaker 6 (38:53):
I died.
You know I was talking to.

Speaker 4 (38:55):
Zeno about that the other day.
I was like I miss those days,Like I still remember watching
back the clips where you andZeno went off to the side and
were like trying to come up witha strategy, and then Zeno went
off to the side and we're liketrying to come up with a
strategy and then we're talking.

Speaker 5 (39:09):
And then I was like am I safe as he goes?
Yeah, buddy, you're safe.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
Yeah, yeah, you're safe man.

Speaker 5 (39:15):
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, so much so that
my mic doesn't pick it up, butZeno's does.
In the other room, with thedoors closed and you hear me
screaming from across the house.

Speaker 1 (39:27):
No, no somebody help me, somebody help me, is anybody
there?
Yeah, you just hear him die.
He goes, oh no I never playedthat game I remember I like
chuckled and I was like he hadto die.
I had to do it to him.

Speaker 4 (39:47):
And then you did it to poor Mosso.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
So Mosso deserved it, not because of who he was, but
he asked too many questions Likeso what happened is?
I just happened to walk into aroom and there were two other
people in there.
We exchanged words.
I was the monster.
We exchanged words and I waslike well, I'm not gonna try
kill either one of these guysbecause it's too obvious, right?

(40:12):
Mosso shows up and goes whoa,what's going on here?
And we're all like what do youmean, man?

Speaker 5 (40:18):
we're just, we're just all passing through, just
so happens, we're all here atthe same time.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
Just a couple guys the other two people leave and
I'm talking to most so and I waslike, all right, I'm gonna get
out of here and I start to leaveand mostly goes, hey, zeno, and
I go, yeah, he goes, are youthe monster?
And I just slow turn to him andI was like, yeah, yeah, I am,
and he goes, you would be.
And then I had to kill him andlike after the lobby.

(40:45):
And then he was like you,motherfucker, I fucking knew it
was you.
I was like, bro, I was gonnalet you live.
And then you had to ask me toomany questions and then I had to
kill you because I wasn't gonnalie to you.
And he's like, yeah, that'sfucking fair, that's fucking
fair.
As you know, I appreciate thatshit.
Now, gentleman's game.
Yeah, it's like I wasn't gonnalie to you.
I knew he was the monsteranytime we would get to a

(41:09):
tribunal and he would just go.
It was xeno.
I saw him like, motherfucker,fuck you, I ain't seen you.
The entire game.
You're gonna fucking throw meto the wall.

Speaker 4 (41:20):
I haven't seen you once worst part is that always
worked it always worked nobodyever believed me.

Speaker 5 (41:29):
I'm so glad I was not playing among us when you guys
were playing among us, because Iwould have fucking dude broke
the night.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
It was coco and I were the killers and we walked
through a thing yeah, we walkedinto a room and I accidentally
hit the wrong button, killedsomebody right in front of
switch and switch reports.
Immediately Coco messages meand goes so how the fuck are we
gonna explain this one away andswitch just goes.
Alright, you know who you were.

(41:58):
And everyone's quiet.
Yeah, he goes all right, youknow who did it.
You know who did it andmessaging me and he goes oh my
god, what's gonna happen?
What do we do?
what's the game yeah, and thenswitch says it again.
He goes come on, you know whoyou are.
And there was a pause and I gowho was it?
Switch?
And he just goes I honestlydon't remember.

(42:21):
Oh, oh, my fucking God, we'regoing to get away with this, no
fucking way.
And so Coco and I were like,well, who do you think you saw?
Like did you remember a colorat all?
And he's like no, and we'relike, ok, well, where was
everybody?
And everyone like starts likehashing out where they were.

(42:43):
And Coco and I were like yeah,we were here or whatever, and
stuff.
And everyone's like okay, and Iwas like so do we just?
Yeah, I guess like switch, youreported it, but you have no
idea who you just watched killsomebody.
He's like, well, there were twopeople there.
We're like, okay, like who werelike, but like who were they?

(43:07):
But yeah, who?

Speaker 3 (43:08):
were they?
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
And then, like he figured out it was us and he was
so fucking mad he's like youmotherfuckers gaslit me, we
didn't do shit you just yeah, wewere like you didn't remember
who you saw, dude, sorry about,sorry about your luck.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
There was one time that I was playing Among Us with
Ms Meg and all of them and Ithink I killed Meg right in
front of Ms.
I didn't even realize that Mswas there.
He came around the corner as Ihit the button and I looked at
him when we like, oh, this isawkward.

(43:47):
Then he reported the body.
I gaslit the shit out of theroom.
I was like, guys, you'll neverbelieve what happened.
Miz fucking walked into thisroom, killed Meg, walked out.
Zayas tried to fucking blame iton me.
This is bullshit.
I just was so loud that hecouldn't get a word in edgewise
and they fucking voted him out.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
Dude I get to hear like just listen to ms, just
like, no, no, no, that's not.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
Yeah, that didn't help his case either because
every time he did that it madehim look more guilty because he
was so good at the fucking gamethat everybody had just believed
oh yeah, that's something mswould do and coco's not that
smart to just fucking startblaming the fuck out of adam is.
And so he got voted out and wedidn't have like the the thing
to tell you if the imposter wasvoted out or not, so they didn't

(44:38):
know if they got the right guy,guy, um and uh, it was down to
like, uh, five people with twokillers.
So as soon as we all respawned,we just we just killed two
people, two people in one, andand we get to the fucking end
lobby and this just goes.
Yo bunch of stupidmotherfuckers.

(44:58):
Bro, that game was fun, it wasfun with the right people.
Dude, you played with anybodythat would target you.
That was just the worst.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
That was played with.
Space Ghosts was super fun.
I remember there was one timein VRChat I had a Spider-Man
avatar on and it wouldn't liketell you who was a ghost and who
was a civilian, until like aminute and a half into the game,
and I remember I was standingin a room with coco, yeah, and

(45:36):
we got our rolls and I'm wearingthe spider-man suit and it
gives us a rolls and I just go,oh, and I changed my suit to the
black spider-man suit and Cocogoes oh yeah, I know what's
gonna happen.
Alright, and I killed Cocoimmediately there was another.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
There was one time that that happened and I was
like I didn't see anything andthen I just walked away and then
somebody let me live, but likeit was just for the lulz at that
point because like I spawnednext to them and they went like
they didn't think they were nextto anybody.
They're like yes, I'm thekiller and I was like I heard
that I'll pretend, I didn't,though.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
Oh, ghost was switch kept using the ghost, uh, or the
exo stranger um avatar rememberthe one and it could turn
invisible yeah, one avatar thathe had that was just like you
could just fucking.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
It had a full fucking model of boob and vagina
underneath.
Yeah he didn't know it and thenthe one time he showed he like
he like, did something andeverybody's like oh my god, he's
like what?

Speaker 1 (46:44):
what happened?

Speaker 5 (46:46):
like I saw into your fucking bottom second hole oh
man, the bottom second hole, huhyeah, yeah it's like the one
that you have yeah, yeah secondhole I shit out of right and the
first hole can't handle itright unfortunate spaceman again

(47:08):
.

Speaker 2 (47:08):
What was that other game, liar's bar, that you just
linked?
Oh yeah what is that?

Speaker 4 (47:14):
uh, I don't fully understand.
It looks like it's partgambling, part like deceit thing
.
All I know is Markiplier hadtalked about it on his podcast
and it sounded interesting.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
I see a Mexican standoff with a rather seductive
bunny looking at me with a gun.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
I'm in.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
Ricky's definitely the rhino, I'll have to look at
this.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
Maybe we can play it.
We'll see.
That'd be fun.
This is definitely.
It looks like a game of likecheat, essentially Except you
shoot people, I'm guessing.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
This kind of looks like a hand simulator.
Oh dude, that game was sofucking stupid Trying to shoot
somebody across the table fromyou and you're like, and then
you would shoot your fuckingself or pull a pin on a grenade
and you'd die we played it for agamer bro stream and, uh, it
got to a point where e and Idecided we were on a team and

(48:19):
goat man and moso were on a team, so like one was trying to load
the bullet.
And it got to the point wherewe fucking put the bullet in the
gun and locked the chamber andhe started to point it at goat
man and goat man goes waitbefore you do, he just pulls the
trigger, fucking, shoots himand he goes.

Speaker 4 (48:38):
No, we were fucking rolling dude, that was a good
time.
That was an April full stream,we did yeah, that was fun stuff
you guys remember fucking Ikeasimulator.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
I do yes, launching couches across the fucking house
yeah, coco and I met up in anIkea and I took a snap and sent
it to like everybody was likeCoco and I are about to throw
couches at each other we shouldhave went to.

Speaker 2 (49:11):
Ikea and tore the place up when Switch was here.

Speaker 1 (49:14):
Dude, that shit would have been so funny.
Everyone go get four oars ofmeatballs.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Dude.
Their meatballs are kind offire.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
Their meatballs do slap.
I would not throw theirmeatballs, they're really their
meatballs do slap.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
I would not throw their meatballs.
They're really good.
They're cheap too.

Speaker 5 (49:29):
Use them as weapons.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Honestly, you could probably get a better meal at
Ikea than you could atMcDonald's for cheaper.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
Oh yeah, 100%.

Speaker 5 (49:40):
Costco's undefeated Costco, do be Just saying.

Speaker 4 (49:45):
Girlfriend and I are debating about getting a Costco
membership Because we think likeeating at Costco and getting
stuff from Costco might be theway to go.

Speaker 5 (49:53):
Do it, I promise you do it, I really enjoy Costco.
I was so skeptical about it andI'm just like I'm never like
gonna do any of this and like gogrocery shopping High quality,
and then you're done and you pay$1.50 for a full-ass hot dog
and a 20-ounce soda.
Alright, 20-ounce soda earnsyou $3 at a gas station.
You get that and a hot dog for$1.50.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
My problem is I forget that I have a Costco
membership, but then I don't go.
Gas is cheaper.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
Zeno just goes.
I'm a DoorDash instead.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
Yeah, unfortunately.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
And now he has $3,000 of DoorDash fees.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
I don't think I quite have that.
Let me check.
Actually, I haven't gottenDoorDash in a while.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
Did you know there's a way on Steam that you can see
how much you spent on Steam?
Oh, I don't even want to knowif you go to I believe it's
where is it at.
You go to your is it edit?
Profile.
Where's it at?
I'm trying to remember how toget.
Where is it?
I'm trying to remember how toget to it.

Speaker 4 (51:00):
Where is it at?

Speaker 2 (51:01):
I'm trying to remember how to get to it.
There's a way you go to accountdetails, store prep.
No, it's account details.
I'll find it.
I'll find it.

Speaker 4 (51:17):
Hold on, folks, he's going to find it.
Just give him some time.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
You guys keep talking .

Speaker 5 (51:22):
I just cold cocked my fucking microphone right into
my keyboard.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
Yeah, oops.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Sorry about that.
I'm trying to find how muchI've spent on DoorDash.

Speaker 5 (51:34):
Oh god.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
I feel like there was somewhere that you could find
that information.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
I'm sure there is Coco and Lil told me, because
Lil's was like insane, it's likenine grand.

Speaker 2 (51:50):
God damn.

Speaker 4 (51:54):
Like I feel like I at least gotta be somewhere in the
hundreds, because I don't useit.
That often.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
Well, I've saved $2,500 in fees, so I got to have
spent more than that.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
That's good.

Speaker 1 (52:12):
Get help.

Speaker 5 (52:13):
I need help, you're right, costco Kirkland pizza Get
four pizzas for $12.
All pepperoni.
It's like generic, you knowoven pizza.
But hey, I mean, when it hitseight o'clock you have an a and
you're like, what are we havingfor dinner?
And you just pop pizza in theoven for fucking 12 minutes and

(52:34):
it only costs you three dollars.
I'm in for that honestly,that's not bad.

Speaker 4 (52:39):
That's not bad at all .

Speaker 5 (52:40):
Feed two people in for that shit.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
I can't see where you can see your total.

Speaker 5 (52:50):
It's because your amount is so astronomical, they
can't display it in numericalvalue.
Probably.

Speaker 2 (52:56):
I gotta search this up.

Speaker 4 (52:58):
Did you guys growing up ever play Worms Armageddon?
No, no.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
I have played.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
Worms Armageddon?
No, no, I have played Worms.

Speaker 5 (53:07):
I had a thought today .
I think this applies more toZeno and E rather than Coco,
because Coco wasn't poor.
What was your guys' poor kidfood?

Speaker 1 (53:18):
What do you mean?
Poor kid food Like your go-tomeal.

Speaker 5 (53:21):
Like the go-to.
Like hey, it's dinner time,what's everyone having?
Mine was mayo and cheesesandwiches.
Let me rephrase that miraclewhip and cheese sandwiches yeah,
my parents also got miracle.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
What I'm like I'm like a white bread because it
was cheaper yeah, yeah, um, wedefinitely had mayonnaise and
cheese sandwiches, but like whatI can recall more commonly than
that, is like we always hadspaghetti, because spaghetti is
just super fucking cheap to makeyep, but not only spaghetti.

(53:57):
We had bread and butter withthat spaghetti and you scoop the
spaghetti up on the bread andbutter and eat that shit like a
fucking sandwich.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
Funny thing is that was going to be my exact answer,
because we did the exact samething.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
I found out how to find it.

Speaker 5 (54:16):
You go to help.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
No, you go to help Steam support.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
On Steam.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
Yeah, you go to help and then you go to Steam support
and then from Steam supportwhen is help On the top bar?
Yeah, you go to help and thenyou go to steam support and then
from steam support on the topbar.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
Oh, I'm not in the right fucking page.
I need a lot of people's steamsupport on that page.

Speaker 4 (54:36):
Go to my account uh-huh data related to your
account right baloney we had ashit had a thing for bologna, a
thing for external funds used.
Fried bologna.
Still holds true.
Still holds true.
What are we?

Speaker 2 (54:57):
all knowing about.
Take a guess on how much I'vespent on Steam.
Oh God, Three bucks.

Speaker 4 (55:08):
No.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Higher than $3.
Take a guess on how much I'vespent on steam, oh god uh, three
bucks, no higher than threedollars.

Speaker 5 (55:11):
It's higher twelve hundred dollars higher I feel
like it's a lot more than higherthan twelve hundred, it's only
one.
Uh, twelve hundred, it's notbad.
$3,749.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
Coco's way more than that.
Coco, you're at $10,000.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
A little higher $11,000?
A little bit higher $11,500?
Just a smidge higher $12,000?
$11,700?
A little bit lower for Murky$11,600.
I'll say $11,600 is closeenough.
A little bit lower for murky 116 5 I'll say.
I'll say 11 6, 5 is closeenough 11 641 dollars and 73

(55:51):
cents yeah my god that's howmuch has zine bro spent uh,
let's go 5k, yeah, yeah, 49 52.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
God damn close, let's go 5K.
Yeah, yeah, 49.52.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
That's goddamn close, you gotta also remember this is
yeah we never said we were goodwith our money.
I mean to be fair that's wenever played.

Speaker 3 (56:14):
we good with our money.

Speaker 2 (56:14):
That's 11K, since like 2012.

Speaker 5 (56:19):
Right.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
So like that's 11K over what like 13, 14 years.
Yeah, that's, that's 11k overwhat like 13 14 years.
Yeah that's not a problem.
Especially with how manyexpansions and games.

Speaker 5 (56:33):
What I spent on cigarettes fucking dwarves.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
And he's.
You know what's sad is.
Out of that five grand, I'veplayed like two grand of the
games.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
Yeah, out of that fucking 11 grand, I've probably
played like fucking two grand ofthe games.
Yeah, out of that fucking 11grand, I've probably played like
fucking two grand of the games.
I buy too much shit on sale andthen I don't buy it.
Or the worst thing is is Iwould technically have played
them, but you buy them and thenyou play them for like two hours
and then you forget about them.
And then you're like two weekslater you're like shit.
I should have refunded that.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:04):
And then you realize, it wasn't two weeks later, it
was actually two years later.

Speaker 1 (57:07):
Right, and then you sit and think about what
happened in the last two yearsand how you ended up in this
position.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
The fuck happened?
Have you guys seen the TikTokvideos of like what the colors
look like in 2020 to like 2024and then like 2025, it's like
the colors are back.
It's like brighter and morevibrant outside.
What apparently?
Apparently people are thinkingthat like it was just dull and
dreary the last like five, fouryears and people went and took

(57:38):
videos outside and they're likeit seems brighter and more
colorful than usual outside gladthey had a mental breakthrough,
but this is fucking wild.

Speaker 3 (57:46):
It's the same shit.

Speaker 5 (57:49):
Trust me, I've been out there the whole time.
It's the same shit.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
Must just be my autistic-ass TikTok going off.
There, my TikTok today wasfilled with.

Speaker 5 (57:58):
I fucking uh, what's the term they're using for your
like soul, animal or soul pet,soul animal, spirit animal,
whatever, what?
Uh, spirit yeah, I spiritanimaled so hard like I did this
and it's about their pets dyingand like the things they do

(58:18):
when they die and shit.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
I'm gonna spirit tomb you.

Speaker 5 (58:21):
And I'm like well, now I'm sad.

Speaker 1 (58:25):
I have no idea what you're talking about, Dude.
That's what my TikTok was today?

Speaker 5 (58:30):
Was I spear animaled so hard?

Speaker 2 (58:32):
Now my TikTok doesn't seem that weird, does it?

Speaker 5 (58:34):
My favorite blanket got wrapped around my dead dog
and buried six feet in the dirt.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
Does mine seem more weird or less weird than this?

Speaker 4 (58:43):
About equal.
Okay, I was going weird or lessweird than this about equal.

Speaker 5 (58:46):
Okay, I was gonna say less weird.
It just made me fucking sad allday.
Do you need help?
It's like you get your.
You know your spirit pet, Imean do you need to talk to your
mom.
I got her down here, no.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
I don't want to fucking talk to her right,
that's not what.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
I need Murky's not smoking so much.
I want to talk to Murky's mom,stop smoking so much.

Speaker 5 (59:12):
She's already got your number.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
Oh, she's calling you .

Speaker 2 (59:17):
Yeah, one second.
I got to fucking make a phonecall, brb.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
I told.

Speaker 5 (59:23):
Graham shit.

Speaker 2 (59:27):
Dude, giving Switch your fucking phone number is
probably the worst mistake we'vedone ever, because now he's
just like I'm gonna call thatbitch you got off.
You got off yesterday just asme and him both hopped on,
because I saw you on and me andI hopped on and I was like, oh
he must have left right as Istarted my computer and switch
had the exact same thing happenand he was like I was watching
dnd I'm gonna call his ass.

(59:47):
I was like man giving you.
Giving you his phone number isthe worst decision ever I'm
weird dude.

Speaker 5 (59:57):
I prefer phone calls.
I to a degree texting is kindof.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
I'm gonna call you at fucking midnight.

Speaker 5 (01:00:04):
now I can't provide the appropriate emotions or
intentions through text messages.
I can't do that with voiceeither, which is why I like text
message.
It's because you're fuckinghaunted.

Speaker 2 (01:00:20):
It gives me a little bit of time to think about what
I've said Instead of justblurting it the fuck out.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
And then read it and just go.

Speaker 5 (01:00:27):
Nah, that's not the one I want.
Oh yeah, Coco's just diagnosingevery text that comes in, Like
what's this mean?

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
Pretty much.
I don't see any meaning in text.
Neither do I see any meaning inmost of the stuff people say.

Speaker 5 (01:00:42):
Right right.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
That was very evident when we were at that hotel bar
and you're like hey Zeno youwanna take that shit you were
talking about earlier?
Yeah, do you think?
Maybe?

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
you said you had the shit.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
You still got shit right.
You should probably go takethat shit now.

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
I mean, if you knew that I was actually.
If you knew, if you would haveknown that I was actually
autistic.
You could use that to youradvantage and be like see, I'm
just helping out the autisticpeople.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 (01:01:14):
So look, ladies, I'm gonna be honest.
My autistic friend is sayingthis, but if you could excuse me
for a second, I have to take ashit.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
I do have to take a wicked shit.
I did in fact have to take ashit.
I do have to take a wicked shit.
I did in fact have to take ashit.
He's right.

Speaker 5 (01:01:26):
But that's not the point.
I will tell you guys about the.
I will tell you guys about thewoman at the hotel bar when I
was out on training in Virginia.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
I don't know that.
I've heard this.

Speaker 5 (01:01:44):
So me and a buddy who was another manager of some
local retail parts store andlike we'd worked together
previously for quite some time,we were both managing stores for
the same company and they sentus both down to Virginia for
training.
So we're like we're not flying.
We rented this fucking brandnew Chrysler 200 at the time to

(01:02:06):
drive down there and we did.
And the very first night of thebar there is a woman there who
is you guys have seen me drunk.
This bitch was hammered,hammered like blackout drunk,
and she's like which one of youguys are gonna like take me home
kind of thing, like and by homeI mean just up to our, my room

(01:02:27):
or your room or whatever worksand uh, his name was nick, me
and nick were like uh, neitherone of us like hon you, you look
like you're kind of you knowhaving a hard time or you know
getting over something.
She's like fuck you, like I,just one one of you guys fucking
I was offering you a favor kindof deal.
I'm like I don't think so.

(01:02:48):
The bartender was like you haveto leave, like you can't be here
.
She's like fuck you, I have aroom.
That revoked her room thatnight.
Like kicked her out, fuckingshe was at a casino or something
.
No, this was at a hotel, wow.
And uh, we tried helping herfor a second.
And then, like she was at acasino or something no, this was
at a hotel, wow.
And Like we tried helping herfor a second.

(01:03:09):
And then, like she said they'reall pissed off and she's like
take it, like was taking bitesfrom this other guy's like food
Next year.
And that's when the cops showedup and they're like you need to
leave.
And they're like are you guysall good?
I was like I'm good, dudeenough, I'm okay um she let that
intrusive thought win of takingother people.
She's trying she's trying to getsome dick and then she's like

(01:03:31):
well, I'm not gonna get laid, soI'm gonna eat, I'm gonna make
it a problem, I'm gonna yeah I'mgonna eat some more food and
fucking.
Your bread and steak looks realgood.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
That's fucking wild, I'm assuming that guy got more
food after she was eating it.

Speaker 5 (01:03:47):
He got his meal comped as soon as she touched
his shit.

Speaker 2 (01:03:51):
That's fucking wild, you know, because I've had the
thought, like when somebodywalks by me with like a thing of
french fries, I'm like, ooh,those look good.
You've had that thought,everybody's had that thought,
but I've never done it.

Speaker 5 (01:04:07):
I've never done it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:08):
I've seen a post one time that this person said just
average Joe person was sittingat this restaurant and he's like
Bill Murray walked into thisrestaurant and walked by his
table as he was getting seatedand Bill Murray reached onto his
plate, grabbed a french fry,ate.
It looked at this guy and goesno one will ever believe you.
And then walked away and he'slike did Bill Murray just

(01:04:31):
fucking steal one of my friesand then gaslight me?

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
That's pretty funny.
But he's absolutely correctthat nobody would believe him.
But I would kind of believe thestory if it told to me that way
.
Yeah, sounds like somethingsomebody would do it's pretty
hilarious.

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
It was something absolutely Bill Murray would do,
I feel like actually, you know,nobody will ever believe.

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
You probably probably made it more believable.
You guys remember Osmosis Jones.
I do, oh my god, I remember him.

Speaker 5 (01:05:04):
Nobody will ever believe.
You probably made it morebelievable.
You guys remember Osmosis Jones, I do.

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
Oh my god, I remember him.

Speaker 5 (01:05:11):
Ate the bad fucking egg that was in a chimp's mouth.
Oh yeah, I forgot that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Was that a movie or TV series?
I can't remember.

Speaker 4 (01:05:21):
It was a movie and it got a TV series later.
That's why I remember it asboth.
Oh hey Littles.
Was that a movie or TV series?
I can't remember.

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
It was a movie and it got a TV series later.
Yeah, okay, that's why Iremember it as both.
No, hey, littles.

Speaker 4 (01:05:31):
Oh yeah, the movie had Chris Rock as Osmosis Jones
Memory serves.

Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
Yes, that makes sense .

Speaker 5 (01:05:39):
I don't remember who is the big pill guy, but I was
like this pill guy could fuckeverybody up because he just
doesn't try to.

Speaker 4 (01:05:46):
The guy who was Frazier.
Was that him?
I don't know.
I'm really bad with actor names, so I'm sure whoever is
listening to us yelling at us, Iapologize.
I can remember movie details,but I never remember fuck them,

(01:06:06):
fuck them.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
Yeah, what happened to us?

Speaker 1 (01:06:09):
just shitting on our fucking listeners, remember, and
that was a thing yeah, we stilldo.

Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
He's just.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
He's just fucking stupid yeah, fucking, you broke
character there for a secondchris I'm gonna need you, I
going to need you to saysomething bad about our
listeners.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
Krista Huh, Say something mean about our
listeners.

Speaker 6 (01:06:34):
You guys smell bad yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:37):
You guys smell like fucking trash.
You know what.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
You know what that smells like boys, it smells like
little bitch In this fuckingcar on your way To your 9 to 5
job.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
That's what it smells like.

Speaker 2 (01:06:51):
Yeah, you thought it smelled like Coca-Cola.

Speaker 4 (01:06:52):
Imagine sitting at your desk right now at work,
fucking loser.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
What time is it?
Right now, cause I left at5.45am For work this morning.

Speaker 5 (01:07:02):
You motherfuckers, what time is it?
Right now, because I left at 545 am for work this morning.
You motherfuckers, what time isit?
5 46 all right.

Speaker 1 (01:07:11):
Well, that's all I got.

Speaker 2 (01:07:12):
I think that's a wrap .
We did, that's solid, that'sgood, that's a solid little bit.

Speaker 5 (01:07:16):
You're welcome listeners, you're welcome.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
Good thing I started early so we didn't miss some of
that content at the beginning,because we can't.

Speaker 4 (01:07:22):
I feel like this first episode in, like what
Three, four episodes where I'mactually consistently talking
and didn't just get burnt out.

Speaker 2 (01:07:30):
I love it, it's great .

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
I love it.
It's good shit, boys.
You guys remember getting onenine power card?

Speaker 5 (01:07:37):
in Chain of Memories.
What?
Yeah the geese, you guysremember, chain of Memories.
We got one uh like nine powercard when, uh, you had plays
riku.
Yeah, I remember that you cansuck my fucking dick, or shit.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
All right, goodbye, goodbye.