S4 E8: Bathroom Nightmares

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How does a "simple weekend project" transform into a multi-day nightmare? Zeno takes us on a wild journey through his recent bathroom renovation disaster that should have been completed in one weekend but stretched into an odyssey of mishaps, miscalculations, and moments of pure frustration.

The saga begins with confidence and optimism as Xeno's girlfriend Krista suggests they simply replace the shower surround and refinish the tub - a project she assures him will take just two days at most. But reality quickly sets in when they discover the tub refinishing product requires a full 72 hours to cure (not 24 as initially thought), meaning no access to the only shower in the house for days. The challenges multiply with each step: ill-fitting shower surrounds, broken paint rollers, defective caulk guns secretly leaking from the back, and last-minute plumbing issues requiring emergency hardware store visits minutes before closing time.

Beyond the renovation chaos, the guys take listeners down an unexpected rabbit hole discussing some of the most bizarre self-published books ever discovered online. From outrageous titles to questionable content, this tangent provides much-needed comic relief following the home improvement saga. The conversation showcases the podcast's trademark ability to seamlessly blend personal stories with unexpected discoveries that leave everyone laughing.

Whether you're contemplating your own DIY project or just enjoy tales of plans gone hilariously awry, this episode serves as both entertainment and a cautionary tale. Remember: sometimes the best renovations are the ones you hire professionals to handle! Have you experienced your own home improvement disaster? Share your story with us and join the conversation!

Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The fucking flavors for the crumble cookies this
week suck.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
What are the flavors?

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Well, we've got classic milk chocolate chip
cookie, frosted sugar cookiewith a circus animal cookie on
it, chocolate cake cookie,blueberry cheesecake cookie,
which actually sounds prettygood, and then a cookie dough
cookie, which is just a cookiewith frosting on it and cookie

(00:29):
dough on it, and they have astrawberry cake, and is it Tres
Leches cake?
Tres Leches, tres Leches cakePretty underwhelming and true

(00:49):
ADHD.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
After dark fashion, I hit recording because we said
we were ready and then Zenostarted talking about crumble.
So welcome to Fidzzy Dibby Yoda.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
I'm sorry, did you have a?
Was that a stroke?
That's uh, yeah yeah, did youhave another stroke just?

Speaker 2 (01:07):
then, yeah, I was trying to figure out a funny
thing to say, and then Icouldn't, so I just said yeah a
bunch.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Should we call you an ambulance?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Nah, that's too expensive, it's cheaper.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
If you want to see Coco like this more, check out
twitchtv.
Slash codercoco, it's cheaperto just fucking die.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, yeah, tell me about it.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
I used to have a boss that would tell me just drag my
body out of the building, Idon't want to die in here.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Fucking.
Plant a flower for me out inthe parking lot, Great Fucking
dandelion.
Oh Zeno has a story to tell you.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
He gave us the preview.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
It's uh, how did the bathtub go, xeno um, it was a
shit show.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Um.
So, for those unaware um krista, um, bless her heart, she was
like she's just a girl we coulddo.
She's just a girl I should haveknown.
I should have known.
Um, she was like, hey, yourshower surrounds kind of like
peeling away from the wall andstuff.

(02:12):
Maybe we should just replace it.
And also, while we're at it, um, we can refinish your tub.
It's really easy.
We could just do all of it over, like memorial day weekend, and
we probably like start it onfriday and have it done by
saturday night and it's supereasy and super quick and you'll

(02:34):
be able to shower in thebathroom by sunday evening.
Worst case scenario.
Right, I'm gonna preface thiswith that's not what fucking
happened at all.
Okay, so, um, if you've everyou ever done it before, it's a
very involved process and shameon me for not looking into it

(02:56):
and just blindly trusting that,uh, she knew exactly what she
was doing every step of the wayand that I did not need to
question her on anything.
Um, that was a.
It was a very poor mistake thatI had made.
Um, but I was like you know,she's got that.
She's confident, she's a strong, independent woman, she's, I'm
just gonna roll with it on there.

(03:17):
So it starts off with we peeledthe old shower surround out.
Really easy, right.
We took the shower, um faucetout, took the dials for the hot
and cold water out, everything'sfine.
We peel the old shower thingaway, get all the cock out.
Um, we start this projectfriday, probably around 11 noon

(03:39):
ish.
Um, all of that runs prettyfucking smooth.
Um, then it comes time to wehave to refinish the tub.
So essentially it's like you'reyou clean the tub really well,
um, with bleach and uh otherjust um abrasive materials, just
to get it really good and clean.

(03:59):
And, uh, then you just takelike a paint roller and
essentially like house paint,you just paint the tub.
So what I didn't tell youearlier, coco's, we went through
actually two rollers, becausethe story just gets the first

(04:23):
one she's like rolling the thefinish on the tub and she's
having a grand old time, uh, andthen all of a sudden I hear her
screaming in the bathroom andI'm like what's going on?
She's like the end cap of thisroller thing broke and now
there's a bunch of little piecesof plastic in my finish in the

(04:46):
tub and in the um her littletray that she's dumping the
stuff into.
Um, there's another part that Iforgot to tell you too.
Uh, anyways, I'm like it's nobig deal, we'll just, like you
know, sand it smooth if we needto.

(05:07):
I'll just get some really finegrit sandpaper and sand it flush
, it'll be fine.
Like we're putting severallayers on here, it'll be fine,
no big deal.
And she's like all right, fine,we'll do that.
And she tries finishing.
Uh, I think this was the firstlayer of it she finished.
So this little kit that webought that has a little small

(05:31):
like paint tray and the rollerand the thing that slides onto
it I don't know what you want tocall it.
I guess the brush, essentially,was like four dollars at Harbor
Freight.
So I was like we'll just go buya fucking another one.
I don't give a fuck, it's, it'seasy.
I mean it's harbor freightstuff, so probably broke because

(05:51):
you know it's really cheap orwhatever.
So we go and buy another one,we come back.
She's rolling it out some more.
I went and did something else.
I think I went to go outsideand mow the grass real quick
because I was like, well, itdoesn't make sense for me to
just hang out in there whileyou're doing that, because all
I'm gonna do is watch you dothat, so I'll go mow the grass

(06:14):
real quick.
I'll come back.
When I come back, she starts.
First thing she says when Iwalk through the door is like
hey, uh, I just read the canagain and I need you to probably
, like you can't be mad at mewith what?
I'm about to tell you andinstantly I'm like something's
fucked, like something's wrongand something has fucked up now.

(06:38):
Uh, originally she was like,yeah, this finish takes 24 hours
to cure.
That was false.
Takes 72 hours after the lastcoat to cure, and also, during
this time, no water can touchthe finish whatsoever.
And I was like, pai, this isgreat, this is Friday evening,

(07:01):
probably, I don't know, 7, 8o'clock.
And I was like, okay, 72 hoursfrom now is we got Friday,
saturday, sunday, monday, right,so Monday by like 8, 9 o'clock.
I can't use the shower untilthen, mind you, it's the only

(07:23):
shower in the house.
And I was like this is awesome,this is gonna be a good time.
I can't use the shower untilthen.
Mind you, it's the only showerin the house.
And I was like this is awesome,this is going to be a good time
.
I was like, all right, whatever, we're fucking into it now.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
We can't go back.
Oh wait, you didn't go to workon Monday, did you?

Speaker 1 (07:36):
You had it all.
No, oh, lucky you, lucky you.
I was about to be like hey, didhe smell like shit?
Oh, I would have 100.
I smelled so bad by monday itwas awful.
Um, so, uh, that happened andthen she was like rolling the
paint out and she's like thisfucking thing is starting to

(07:58):
break.
I'm like you're pressing waytoo hard on that.
Then it's like coincidence, ithappened once.
If it's doing it twice, it'sbecause you're pressing too hard
.
And she's like you think so Iwas like, yeah, yeah, I, I think
, like I don't know why you'rehaving that problem, because I'm
not having that problem.
Um, so it's got to be you'repressing too hard.

(08:20):
She's like well, you know, Iwanted to to roll right and it
wasn't rolling right unless Ipressed hard and I was like,
okay, just like, dial it back alittle bit because you don't
want to have like thestereotypical, like when you get
the roller with the paint andit like gets stuck on one side
and you have to.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
But in that case I just drag finish on the bathtub.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
And that was friday, so saturday morning we had plans
in um chicago, um, where herapartment is so.

(09:04):
So that was Saturday afternoon.
We were anticipating we weregoing to get home kind of late.
But in the morning we're like,okay, we'll at least get the
shower surround cut and ready togo up and maybe we can even at
least glue it before we leave,because it takes 24 hours to
cure as well Before you can Getmoisture or anything or like it

(09:31):
be shower ready and shit.
So we take the old showersurround and Chris is like
here's the deal, we'll just takethe old shower surround, lay it
flat On some plywood I had ingarage.
She's like you just line up theholes with the new shower
surround, let's cut the holes,it'll be fine, they'll line up.

(09:54):
Everything's great, this iseasy, we don't have to measure
anything.
Great idea in theory it was thegreat idea and I was like all
right, sounds good, let's justdo that.
So we do it, go out to thegarage, cut the holes and we're
like cool, let's take thisinside and make sure it lines up
right.
We take it inside if it'spretty good, like all the holes

(10:18):
line up, like cool.
So we take the corner piecethat goes into the corner of the
shower surround and I say itwas like two inches short.
Krista says it was like half aninch short.
In the end it was too short.
So there's like at least halfan inch of space between the
corner shower surround piece andthe left side wall surround

(10:41):
piece.
So it was like cool, now we cando about that.
And, uh, chris ended up.
She's like well, let's just gobuy another shower surround kit
because like no, we can do aboutthis now, just cut it out.
So this is all we got.
So we go to the local Lowe's.
I do shower surround kit, bringit home.

(11:05):
By the time we got back home itwas time to go up to Chicago for
the plans that we had and wefigured we gave ourselves enough
time that we could shower ather place before doing what we
were going to do in Chicago andstuff.
So we did that.
So we were actually able totake a shower Saturday morning.
We were there almost all day.
Came home, got back fromChicago about 9 o'clock at night

(11:26):
and she's like fuck it, let'sat least like um, get the um
shower surround cut andeverything like that.
And she at first said, hey, Igot a great idea.
We'll just flip the showersurround or like we'll measure

(11:47):
or line it up from the oppositeside on the shower surround and
then it should be good.
Like we should be solid, likeno problems, you just cut the
holes.
I'm confident this time it'sgonna work out.
And I was like no, we need tomeasure it and make it a hundred
percent, damn sure, like wecaught this, we're not doing it
again.
Chris is like it's fine, thoughwe got two shots because

(12:10):
there's an extra shower surroundthing in that box, like we're
good.
And I was like, no, I only wantto do this once.
By this time it's like 10o'clock at night, like I only
want to do this once.
Let's just measure it to makesure we don't have any problems.
Let's just do that.
She's like all right, cool.
So she measures it, she lays itall out in the ground.

(12:32):
She's like there you go, makethose cuts right there.
Everything's fine, cut it,we're good.
And I was like all right, so Icut the holes.
Immediately after cutting thehole, she goes that's the wrong
side.
I just realized there's a glossside and then there's like a um
ungloss side of the showerunfinished side right yeah, it's

(12:56):
like barely a noticeabledifference.
So, um, I was like alright, well, we can just grab the other
fucking piece.
And she's like no, I honestlydon't care, it doesn't look
different enough, let's justfucking roll with it.
So we do, we take it inside, wemeasure it all out.

(13:17):
Everything looks good.
So we're like cool, by thistime it's fucking midnight.
I'm like I'm fucking done goingto bed.
We're like I'm fucking donegoing to bed.
We're like I'm ready for bed,or no, actually, I think
Saturday night we glued it allin too.
So we glued the shower surroundin.

(13:39):
Yeah, we glued the showersurround in.
And the first tube of glue thatwe used uh, no, that was the
cock.
Never mind trying to think yeah, yeah, no, it was fine, that

(14:01):
part was fine, we glued it allin.
But when you, after you glue itin and you press it against the
wall, you're supposed to take apiece of plywood on each panel
and put a piece of two by fourbetween it to make sure like the
plywood plasters against thepanels and then it like smooths

(14:25):
the glue out throughout thepanel.
So it's all flush and also getsgood adhesion, right.
So earlier in the day Chris hadalso had me cut a two by four
down to a certain length thatshe measured.
She's like this is themeasurement, just cut it.
And I figured you know theplywood is about half inch thick

(14:45):
, so give it a whole inch.
And I just measured this.
And how'd you cut it In shorter?
Because the plywood is going tobe in between it and it's going
to have to wedge between.
Everything's going to be fine.
I was like all right, soundsgood.
Sounds like you did your math.
The math is mathing.
This is great.
So chris is standing in theshower holding these two pieces

(15:08):
of plywood against, uh, eitherside of the shower surround, and
I take the two by four and justwalk up and put it in the
shower because it's too short.
Krista said some not nice thingsabout herself.
She maybe said that she wasgoing to chaos herself.

(15:29):
I was like no, honey, it's fine, everything's fine.
We just figured this out, it'sokay.
I'm not even fucking worriedabout it.
It's fucking midnight, I'mfucking done with this.
It's gonna seal.
We're gonna put caulk on it.
It's gonna be fine, right?
Oh, buddy.

Speaker 3 (15:47):
So the next day the next day.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
This is now Sunday, so this is day three of the
project.
That was only supposed to takelike two days at most, um, and
be able to shower by this day.
Not happening.
So, um, we start caulking it up.
We tape everything off when wedo like a line of tape on above

(16:15):
and below where we're going tocaulk, so we can just make a
line of caulk and just smooth itout afterwards and not have to
worry about getting iteverywhere and stuff.
We can just peel the tape off,everything will be fine and
stuff.
And the first caulk the thing ofcaulk was like super hard to

(16:37):
get to come out the entire time.
Almost, I was like sometimes itwould give you a good solid
bead, but then other times itwas like a pain in the ass to
try to pump it, to get the beadout, and I just chalked it up to
it's a super cheap cock gun.
It was like a $4 cock gun thatwe got at the hardware store.
I was like, all right, maybeit's just because we cheaped out

(16:58):
on this, it's fucking harder asshit.
Uh, whatever, so, um, we getnearly through the first can and
I was like I can't fuckinghandle this anymore.
Uh, chris was like, maybe youknow it's just a faulty can of
cock and that's why we're havingso much problems with it and
you're gonna do the other can ofcock and everything's going to
be fine.
I was like, yeah, that'd bepretty silly, right?

(17:20):
I take the can of cock out.
The entire time we were usingit it had been spraying cock out
the back of it.
So this cock gun is just fullof cock in the back of it.
So I have to pull all of thatout and, of course, by this time
, a lot of it has dried.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
So I peel all this caulk out put a new thing of
caulk in.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
It works like a fucking dream.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
We ended up caulking the rest of it, fucking egg
crystal.
Weird thing, it was thedefective, can yeah?

Speaker 1 (17:48):
So we ended up caulking the rest of it.
It went pretty smoothly fromthere and we had the tape still
on the caulk and I was like likehey, when do you want to take
this tape off?
Like you want to take it off,take it off now, or what?
And she was like no, I figure,we wait until it dries.
And I was like I don't know.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
some tells me that that's not the right thing to do
.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
Yeah, some tells me that if we do that it's just
gonna peel the cock off becauseit's gonna dry over the tape.
And then you peel the tape offand then the cock come with it,
and then I'm gonna say someswear words and, uh, nobody's
gonna have a good time.
So I do a quick little googlesearch and google's like, yeah,
immediately after applying thecock and smoothing it out, you

(18:34):
remove the tape.
Like wait, no time.
And I was like shit, we gottatake this fucking tape off right
, fucking now.
And there was a couple areaswhere the cock kind of peeled up
a little bit.
Uh, but it was easily fixed andstuff and got that all handled
and stuff.
So, nearing the end of theproject now this is Sunday, it's

(18:57):
about seven o'clock at thispoint I had the water to the
house turned off this entiretime, because not the entire
time while we were working on it, at least in, the faucets were
off, the water was off, thewater was off.
So I put the Cold water and hotwater dials back in, put a new

(19:32):
faucet in and I turn the wateron, stick a bucket under the
faucet and I turn the water onin the shower to make sure that
the Faucet isn't dripping oranything like that, or getting
any water anywhere it's good.
So I was like cool, turn thewater off, cock around the
faucet.
And then all of a sudden thefaucet is dripping and I was
like what the fuck?

(19:52):
Why is this happening?
Right now Turns out the watercartridge in the dial has worn
out and is now causing a drip.
Mind you, this tub isn'tsupposed to have any water in it
until the following day, at theend of the day, like nine
o'clock, a whole 24 hours afterthis point.

(20:12):
So I find the part that I need.
It's at the local Lowe's.
It's a little bit after seveno'clock.
Lowe's closes at eight o'clock.
So I look at Chris.
I'm like we need to go right.
Motherfucking, now Get thispart.
Like you're coming or you'restaying, I don't care which.

(20:34):
So we go to Lowe's, we get thepart.
I come back, I put the part in,turn the water on, turn it off,
no more leak, everything'sfucking done.
Um, but the also the cock saidum, same day water ready.
So we're like you know, net.
That seems to be like you knowknow 12 hours.

(20:56):
Maybe it should be fine.
Maybe Monday morning I canactually take a shower, it'll be
fine.
Nope, read the can and it was24 hours after application, so
we completed the caulking aboutsix o'clock.
So 24 hours later that would besix o'clock on Monday that I
could for feasibly probably takea shower again.
I could feasibly probably takea shower again, and at this

(21:18):
point I'm fucking super stinkyfrom working through all this
shit the entire weekend, justlike being in this closed space
in the bathroom and fucking withall this.
It was a fucking nightmare.
Finally, monday, I fuckingcaved in at like four or five
o'clock.
It like I have to take a showerright now.
I can't stand it.

(21:38):
I don't care if it fuckseverything up, I'm taking a
shower and it was the bestshower ever actually, after all
of that, dude, yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
You said well yeah, because you came into my stream
and you were like I'm back, Igotta go take a shower now.
And it was a fucking hour laterthat you came back and I was
like did this motherfucker drownI?
Was trying to xeno took, xenotook the fucking, the most
fabulous of bubble baths thatday never used his bathtub in

(22:06):
his house as a bathtub.
But god damn, he put all thatwork into it.
He was using it as a bathtubfor that night I took a wicked
shower.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
It was nice and it was the um, cold water dial is
way more sensitive now too, and,like the hot water lasts a bit
longer, probably because thecold water dial was wearing out.
And uh, yeah, it was.
It was a fucking fiasco.
And then it was like um sundayevening I was like teasing

(22:40):
krista and I was looking forlike a bolt or something like
that to put the like dials backin or something.
And I knew I had set themsomewhere and I was teasing her
and I was like krista, where thefuck did you put these?
And I was like acting like Iwas yelling at her and stuff
like that.
At one point she looks at me,she goes.
You know how I know you're notactually yelling at me right now
and you're like not actuallymad right now and I was like why

(23:04):
?
She's like cause you had a lotof opportunity to be mad and
yell at me this weekend and youdidn't.
So I know you're not doing itnow over something just so silly
like this, and I know you knowyou touched those last and I'm
like, yeah, you right, it was a.
It was a very trifling weekend.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
I still think it's one of the.
Krista advertised it to you waslike oh yeah, we'll just be
done we'll be done Saturday, andthen you or Friday and then you
just wait till the end of theday, saturday, and you'll have a
show and you're like, yeah,let's fucking go, and then at
the end of this you're like.
I'm never trusting anotherproject from this girl again
unless I watch a tutorial on howto do it?

Speaker 1 (23:46):
absolutely not.
I am doing all of my ownresearch.
I just like she.
She just kept telling me.
She's like yeah, I looked it up, I read about it and we need
this stuff.
And you know this, this isgoing to be really easy.
We can just do this and like westart this.
Uh, originally we didn't know Ihad Friday off.
She was like we start thisSaturday, we have it done by

(24:07):
Sunday night and then we haveMonday to just not do anything
all day.
Um, fortunately I had Fridayoff and we were able to start
the project Friday instead.
And um, otherwise I would havebeen dealing with it well into
Monday and probably would havehad to figure out somewhere else

(24:29):
to go to take a shower for workon Tuesday.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
No, you just go into work smelling like a fucking
turd.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
Oh, dude, I, I couldn't stand it.
I'm one of those people thatlike if I don't take a shower,
if you go to pee and you smelllike this hint of fucking ball
you're just like gotta go shower.
I can't stand it, dude.
I hate just not feeling like,like feeling grimy or anything

(24:57):
like that.
I can't fucking stand it it'swild.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
I get that, excuse me , I get that.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Uh, that's why I have deodorant in my car, just yeah,
in case I'm like I, I feel likeI smell yeah, there was a one
day, krista, and I went up to acar shop and I had forgot to put
deodorant on that day and, mindyou, it was cooler weather out
so I probably wanted a sweat oranything.
But I stopped at a grocerystore or like a supermarket on

(25:28):
the way and got deodorant.
She's like, did you have to dothat?
Like it would have been fine.
I was like I'm not gonna bethat guy that's like stinky at a
card shop.
I refuse like and it took likeI'm not gonna be that guy that's
like stinky at a card shop.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
I refuse like and it took like it cost me $5 to not
be that guy and I'm 100% okaywith that believe it or not,
what you would spend on a packof cards is about what you can
spend on deodorant and not bethat guy, did you?

Speaker 1 (25:54):
see her like I want some attention yeah, long story
short I will never corrupt.
I will never, never trustkrista with a weekend project,
ever again, without first doingmy own research weekend project.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
It was like a two-day project, like, like not even
two days.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
It was a guarantee.
Is that not a?

Speaker 2 (26:14):
it was gary he said, the way it was phrased was that
he would be able to take ashower saturday evening.
Essentially, if he startedfriday, he'd be able to take a
shower saturday evening,implying that it had to be done
well before that for everythingto be dry like to be fair, most
of the products said like sameday ready and shit like that.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
That's what the fine print's for yeah, and Chris is
like I'm just a girl.
It's the same day ready and, uh, neglected to read the
instructions that said you know72 hours instead of 24 hours and
what have you.
And I was like you know she'sgotta figure it out and she's a
strong, independent woman.
I trust her not anymore, willnot be doing that in the future.

(27:00):
I'll be like, okay, you send methe itinerary and I'm gonna
dive into it and figure out whatactually is going on and we'll
see if this is actually as easyas you project it to be sorry,
allergies are getting me allphlegmy.

Speaker 3 (27:17):
sounds like it was a learning experience for both of
you.
Yeah, absolutely, and hopefullylike big takeaways and things
learned.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
Sorry everybody I go on.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
I don't know, man, my allergies are hitting me.
I got put on antidepressantsand I just feel like my brain is
just only for me at all timesis it a good away or bad away?
Uh, with the allergies bad atthe moment.
Well, I know I know what thatfeels like fog, it's fucking
it's fucking terrible once I'mdone like draining muis down my

(27:58):
throat every single day, I'mpretty sure I'll be fine.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
I'll be honest if the AI doesn't come up with a
shower.
Pun for the title.
I'm going to be a little upsetat this point.
That is probably the longestsegment we've ever had on ADHD
After Fucking Dark.

Speaker 1 (28:12):
Having said all of that, I'm super appreciative Out
of anybody I could have beengoing through that scenario with
.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
I'm glad it was krista could you imagine if it
was like you and murky?

Speaker 1 (28:23):
oh, dude, we would have been fist fighting in the
front yard.
I'm sure like it would havebeen like this is fucking
bullshit, probably would havegiven up, probably would not be
done.
It'd probably still be halffinished in there and I'd be
like, yeah, I've just beenfucking showering everybody
everywhere else because I can'tfucking shower on my own fucking
fucking, went to the sink andrinsed myself out for dial soap

(28:46):
fucking washed my gooch andfucking called it a day like
stuck my fucking dick in thedishwasher.
Yeah, for real, oh I mean I'mglad it was at least krista,
because she's like, every stepof the way she was at least to
like, ok, well, we got to getthis done.
So then I'm like, all right,yeah, you're right, we got to
get this done, so we got to keepmoving.

(29:07):
We got to keep moving.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
But you're the reason why we did this.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah, whereas, you know, girlfriends in the past
would have been like, well, Idon't know what to do.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
I'm just a girl.
I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
Yeah, crystal was at least like I'm just a girl.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
Crystal's just like I'm just a girl.
But we got to do this.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, we got to figure this out.
I realized I got us into thesituation, but we can work
together to figure it out.
We can do this together.
Um, and it was fine.
We got it figured out, uh, andshower looks really nice.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
Oh boy, uh, I just hope uh.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
I just hope the next homeowner isn't expecting, uh,
this house to go in theprettiest homes of America.
I kept telling Krista that,throughout it too, something
would happen and she'd be like,well, this isn't right.
And I'm like Krista, this isn'tgoing to go in the prettiest
homes of America magazine.
I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Joke's on you.
They're coming to your frontdoor right now.

Speaker 1 (30:11):
Let's get some pictures of that.
It'd be a lot cooler if youfucking move that boss well,
that's an old reference now dude, those fucking, those fucking

Speaker 2 (30:23):
people that, that, uh , that got those homes.
From what I heard, a lot ofthem lost them, like after they
got remodeled because theycouldn't, because they couldn't
afford the property tax.
It's fun, that's insane, that'sso fucking wild.
Imagine being like your dreamhome and then like I can't
afford it anyway.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
That would be awful.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
That's kind of what happened with like God, what was
that Gordon Ramsey show wherehe'd go around trying?
To save restaurants.
Was it Hell's Kitchen?

Speaker 2 (30:52):
No Restaurant, disaster Restaurant.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Yeah, restaurant rehab different.
Yeah, it's one of those things.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
But uh, hell's kitchen is a completely
different thing, isn't it?

Speaker 1 (31:05):
yeah, it's a good house kitchen.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
It's the only thing I knew from i's the only thing I
knew from gordon ramsay, so Ifigured I'd throw it out there
there we go, we got there, Ijust had to throw hell's kitchen
out there to fucking get us tokitchen nightmares, but a
similar thing with that, likeyou would go in.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
You think, oh, we got there, I just had to throw
Hell's Kitchen out there tofucking get us to Kitchen
Nightmares.
But a similar thing with that,like you would go in.
You'd think he's like savingthis restaurant, like there is
one that he went to that'sactually not that far from Zeno,
probably like 10-minute drivefrom his house Really Closed
like three months after thatepisode aired.
Probably because they couldn'tafford what was it uh, I don't

(31:40):
remember what it was, but it waslike a little north of roseland
, that area I'm gonna look it upbut yeah, no, like the, from my
understanding he'll go in.
They'll like renovate therestaurants and whatnot, but
because there's already like badpress about it and word really

(32:05):
doesn't get out fast enough forthem to save their restaurant,
or they'll like go back on whatgordon tried to do for them and
go into their old ways andbankrupt themselves well, that's
their fault.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
But if they try to go into Gordon's way and they
still fail because of thepublicity, that's just because
there needs to be moreadvertisement around the
restaurants that were beingsaved.
But I think they failed for acompletely different reason,
because they were already ontrack for failure.
If they just would switch andturn a profit, they would have
been able to afford any changesthat came in.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
That's my understanding.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
The problem with what was it?
Home Improvement Was that it.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
That was the Tim Allen show.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
That's a fucking God damn it.
What the fuck was the name ofthat show?

Speaker 3 (32:55):
You know which one?
The one with the bus.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
What the fuck was it called with like?
Wasn't the host names like tire, something like that, or
extreme makeover home editionextreme makeover home edition.
No wonder why I confused it withhome improvement.
It just had the word home in it.
Um, basically, like they wouldgo from this house, that was,
like, worth nothing to like thishouse.
That was now worth, like youknow, five, six hundred thousand

(33:19):
dollars, uh, which back,whenever they were doing this,
was a lot of money for a fuckinghouse.
Um right, considering that,like a fucking normal, what we
would have considered a fuckinglike hundred, two hundred
thousand dollar home back thenis now going for five500,000.
And then they wouldn't be ableto pay the taxes and then

(33:40):
they're just out of a home.
It's fucking super shitty thatthat's even a possible thing
that could happen.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
Oh and Zeno, the restaurant was called J Willey's
, yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
I'm not familiar with the place.
Still, it is right in mybackyard though.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
It's probably shit and it's closed.
From what he just said.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Apparently, the building was torn down too.

Speaker 3 (34:04):
Really, I haven't been over that way since I've
moved back in the area.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
This article is from 2015,.
Too Dang.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
So it's been a while it's been a while.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
It's been a while.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
It's been a while.
Yeah, it's been a while.
Listeners might notice thatthere is a voice distinctively
missing from this podcast.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
Yeah, any guesses on who it is?
It's because Zeno ate him?
No, he's just like.
I'm sorry to let listeners know.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
But Zeno decided that he was tired of waiting to fuck
Murky in the ass againstSpider-Man powers and was just
going to see if that happens.
If I just fucking ate him Ah uhZeno, do you currently have any
powers now that murky is inyour stomach?

Speaker 2 (34:51):
His ass is 10 times bigger.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
Admittedly, the only thing I've noticed is I have
slightly higher blood pressureand a little bit of an upset
tummy.
You know that checks out.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
Take some antacids.
I'm sure you'll be fine and youhave a telekinetic.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
I want a cigarette real bad too, you have a
telekinetic connection to hismother in hell.

Speaker 3 (35:12):
Oh no, Try to use the powers Zeno, See if you can
summon her.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
Margaret, try to use the powers you know, see if you
can summon her.
Uh, uh, margaret, who thefuck's calling?
Uh, this is, uh, your son'sfriend.
Uh, remember I housed him whenhe was, you know, had nowhere
else to go.
This is satan, you idiot.
Oh, sorry, satan, you soundjust like murky's mom, who you
fucking call.
All calls to hell.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
Come through me first it's like a prison system.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
Remember I have not done this before, yeah yeah, who
the fuck do you want?

Speaker 2 (35:43):
can you get me in touch with murky's mom I thought
that was pretty clear sayingI'm sorry, go fuck yourself okay
I refuse to find a voicechanger for murky's mom because
I feel like that would be waytoo offensive, because I don't
know what she sounds like.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
We could just like find some old videos of Murky's
mom and then run it through likean AI generator.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Oh my God, I know how to do that, but should I?
That's, that's this is youImagine Murky comes back and we
have a fucking and we have achat.
Gpt assisted AI, murky's's mom.
There are, there are somethings that like that, like I,
you know we could do it, butthis is one of those ones where
I'm wondering if it should bedone.

(36:28):
Yeah just because we can do, itdoesn't mean we should be
really funny, but I also don'twant to see murky break down
hearing an AI rendition of hismother.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
He'd be like, wow, this is fucked, opening up some
old wounds here.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
I feel like unless we get his buy-in on this, we
can't do it.

Speaker 3 (36:47):
Oh yeah, that would be super fucked to do Consensual
thing.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
If he says, yes, go for it, then absolutely we'll do
it.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
That would firmly solidify our place in hell at
that point.
Yeah, like Satan what do youthink about that Would?

Speaker 3 (37:00):
you even go that far.

Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah, he's like nah bro, yeah, I'm fucking out I'm
trying to get.

Speaker 3 (37:10):
Oh man, if Satan's tapping out I get canceled.
Enough already, I don't need tobe.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
I don't need to be on this shit show.
Yeah, I don't need to be onthis shit show.
Yeah, that's fair Satan Goodlooking out.
Now, the real reason Murky'snot here Is I think he saw the
collection of my Little Poniesand Coco's Background and he had
to go beat it Ferociously for acouple hours.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
He's busy doing that.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
Can we get a hold of Murky On the phone real fast?

Speaker 2 (37:35):
I'm gonna go pull a Coco.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
I mean to be fair.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
I could call him and see what happens, but I think
he's picking somebody up fromthe airport.

Speaker 3 (37:47):
He is His soon-to-be stepmother-in-law, I think would
be the term.
I don't fucking know.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
Is that the closest thing he has to a mother now?

Speaker 3 (37:58):
Probably, probably, oh, oh.
Anyways, gentlemen, I have aquestion for you.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
Oh shit, here we go, what do we got?

Speaker 3 (38:10):
Have you boys ever heard of Kwan Mills?
What?

Speaker 2 (38:15):
No, like General Mills, but Kwan.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
No, no, he, he is an author and his name is kwan
mills why do I feel like this isgonna be like?

Speaker 2 (38:25):
I feel like I'm getting some variation of porn
or like how do you spell this?

Speaker 3 (38:31):
no, no, no, I'll give you guys links.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
In a second coco I saw what your browser history
was pulling up earlier this weekand I wasn't impressed.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
Crazy frog impregnation porn now Quan Mills
, self-proclaimed internationalbest-selling author.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Well, that's bullshit already such titles as Old
Thought.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
Next Door selling.
Author.
Well, that's bullshit.
Already already off to a greatstart, as old thought next door
is that spelled?

Speaker 2 (39:02):
is that spelled the way I think it's spelled?

Speaker 3 (39:04):
t-h-o-t.
Okay, this hoe got roaches inher crib.
What the fuck this.

Speaker 2 (39:13):
Author of what best.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Author of fucking what is.

Speaker 3 (39:18):
It are these novels or are these?

Speaker 2 (39:21):
these are short stories on porn what are we
working with here?

Speaker 1 (39:26):
what kind of content is this so?

Speaker 3 (39:29):
uh, let me, let me drop you the link oh god,
fucking christ so I'm opening up, if you have kindle unlimited,
you get his stories for freeotherwise they're a buck bro the
fucking picture for the oldthought next door is incredible
my favorite pastors eat pussytoo there's a w in there.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
There's a w in that title this I can't say that word
got a small dick my favorite ispregnant by my mother's gay
husband there's a my favoritethere's this I can't say that
word got a small dick too someof his books do have a part two.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
My, oh my psycho baby daddy next to my psycho baby
daddy too.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
What about my baby mama is a loser too.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Plus bonus box set collection when a bad bish and a
savage link up oh my god thugkarma, oh project oh dreams.
Ha ha project no dreams.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
Episode three oh his life this isn't even all of his
books.
Some of them got taken off ofamazon kindle, which is
primarily where he published Iwonder why but he's had things
like gutter hoe dreams, episodeone, two and three they got.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
My boyfriend got a thing me but I still love him.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
Project hoe dreams finesse queens, like Toe Dreams
Finesse Queens.
He has a full list of things.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
I do have Kindle Unlimited.
Do we want to read a page ofone of these books real quick?

Speaker 2 (41:24):
Yeah, fucking pick page 69 of fucking my baby mama
is a loser too.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
Let me find it.
I was between either my babymama is a loser or this ho got
roaches in her crib I.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
I don't want to know what's on page 69 of this oh, I
don't want to buy it, becausethen it's gonna oh, you have to
buy it well, you buy it for zerodollars because it's on kindle
unlimited.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
But then it's gonna start recommending these titles
to me.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
Actually buy it and then and then and then say that
you absolutely dislike this,like with the rating system, and
that should make mightcounteract it.
I'm not going to make you fuckyour own search history up for
this.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
I'd fuck up my own search history.
I already have.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
I would.
I would because my searchhistory is fucking awful, but
Zeno's probably the only fuckingdecent person in here except
wait no no, no, you created afeat finders.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
You fucking buy that book this book is 294 pages long
yeah, he writes fucking novelsand people have been accusing
him of using ai because on hisinstagram he's been posting ai
art, which I think is a negative.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
Please like actual, actual artists.
There are some of these books,like april 8th 2020, that's
before the ai boom like it wasthere, but like not to the point
where you could like, sell itand like people, but he straight
up writes these books and thethings he's been posting on his
Instagram.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
He's basically just been asking chat GPT to make
books that he would probablywrite, so he's more just using
these as a way to laugh andpossibly actually make a book
around that premise.
So here's his Instagram wherehe has been posting that art and
he has such titles that he'sthinking about like pregnant by

(43:24):
a werewolf hitta, I got both myhomeboys I got both my alien
homeboys from another galaxypregnant alien twinks and the dl
thugs who love writes fuckingbook titles like they're fucking
animes like all of these titlesI could

Speaker 1 (43:43):
see being a fucking anime a snow bunny succubus got
me pregnant.
What?

Speaker 2 (43:51):
gorilla goons and the thick rich raptor baddies who
love them roaches on themotherfucking plane pregnant by
the flying chitlin monster oh, Iforgot.
You guys want me to read thispage.
Read a page oh okay.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
So this is apparently the end of a chapter and it
says no, you can't do that, dre.
You just gonna take Ariana awayfrom me.
You can't do that.
Don't take my baby.
I swear to God or what yougonna do?
Kill me.
Kill me behind jail bars.
Have a good life, trish.

(44:34):
Also, I'll be asking the judgeto revoke your visitation, right
?
No, don't take my baby.
I cried Without feeling anysympathy or remorse.
Dre and his mama just walkedcoolly out of the hospital room.
Wow, this was so unbelievable.
This dude was going to takeaway the only sole reason I had

(44:57):
to live at this point in myfucked up life it sounds like
this sounds like an incredibleread.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
Honestly it's.
That's the end of chapter 10.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
This is chapter 11 starts.
This is brain rot in book formchapter 11 starts two years
later oh no abruptly waking upto the sound of my alarm clock
beeping from my phone.
It was time to get mymotherfucking day started.

Speaker 3 (45:27):
And boys.
Just let you know Zeno's gonnahave to get the audio book for
this fucker, just because it'sso stupid.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
He's gonna pass this into the Facebook group so
stupid.
He's gonna pass this into thefacebook group chat.

Speaker 2 (45:43):
He's gonna pass this into the facebook group chat.
Be like guys.
This shit's fucking hilarious.
I got you I gotta fucking haveyou want listen to my fucking
baby mama's.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
A psycho too it was around 5 am and I had to get up
asap, asap to get Ariana readyfor daycare and then had to work
.
Oh, so she got Ariana back.
In two years, your boy had madesome serious life changes since
I was able to get full cussingoh no, this is from the baby
daddy's perspective, I guessSince I was able to get full

(46:11):
cussing of Ariana, crazy thingwas it seemed like these past
two years zoomed by quickly, ohmy God.
Crazy thing was it seemed likethese past two years zoomed by
quickly after oh my god, aftertrish got shot up on the e-way,
got arrested she was chargedwith being a co-conspirator to
traffic narcotics.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
God damn, you're gonna have to go fucking read
this whole book now, dude.
Oh my god, I might have to buythis fucking shit got real, uh.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
However, because she was a first-time offender and
she didn't have any priors, thejudge gave her a year in jail
and then five years of probation.
Now that I had full custodyover my daughter, I also made
sure that trish didn't have anyvisitation rights.
Bitch had me all the way fuckedup if she thought she was going
to try to see my daughter.

(47:00):
Hell, no.
Thankfully, ariana was reallytoo young to have any impression
of memory of Trish.
Once I finally got my shittogether and settled down,
hopefully the right woman Ineeded in my life would be a
better mother for Ariana I shotup out of bed, bed stretched and
yawned.
Although baby girl had her ownroom now, she was still sleeping

(47:22):
in the bed with me.
Yup, I have my own place now.
After getting full custody, Iworked my ass off to fix my
credit, save up down payment andI ended up buying a nice little
townhouse over in hyde park.
Shit cost me a grip, but it wasworth every damn penny.
What?

Speaker 2 (47:40):
the fuck dude.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Luckily, my boy, marone, did pull through and
helped me land a gig at ComEd.
Since I had prior workexperience and some college
credits, I was able totransition into management
training program and now I wasmaking $80,000 a year as a call
center manager.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
What Okay?

Speaker 1 (48:02):
As for my love life, well, ariana kept my ass very
busy, so I didn't have a lot oftime to be messing with no new
bitches.
Truth be told, I was verycautious about dating anyone new
at the moment.
I was just too focused ontrying to finish school and work

(48:24):
my ass off at com ed.
Now that I was back in school,shit was kicking my butt but
spelled it b-u-t, not b-u-t-twithout it, without a doubt.
But I knew in the end it wouldbe all worth it.
My academic advisor told methat if I managed to keep up a
3.5 gpa and get a decent lsatscore, I'd be able to enroll in

(48:48):
law school part-time and I'dstill be able to get a decent
gig working for the, for a lawfirm in downtown chicago.
I had my eyes set on depauluniversity.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
They had a very good part-time law program jesus
fucking I zeno's gonna havepoetry that's, he can't even
complain about the grammarbecause it's just so bad oh my
god I've watched this guy'stiktok lives before.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
This is just how he talks.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
I kind of expected I'm going through I'm going
through some of these fucking uh, some of these other titles
that he generated.
I'm gonna read some of myfavorites right now pregnant by
a dope boy named windella poobear okay.
Pregnant by an ogre thug from63rd street.
Pregnant by a dope boy namedWendella Pooh Bear Okay.
Pregnant by an ogre thug from63rd Street.

(49:41):
Pregnant by the snowman of 79thStreet.
It's literally a fuckingpicture of a snowman holding a
gun and a pregnant black ladystanding next to him.
Then there's just a fuckingpicture of a redneck lady
holding up a refund text and ablack dude behind her smiling,

(50:01):
and the title is called my baby.
Daddy stole my tax refund wowsome of these are fucking wild.
Fell in love with a hood witch.
Bbw velociraptor laughinglaughing fucking christ.

(50:25):
These are fun.
My baby daddy is a bed bug oh,lord oh my god, my baby daddy is
a leprechaun.
This is probably the mostcursed image I have ever seen.

Speaker 1 (50:39):
Do I refund this free book that I've purchased?

Speaker 2 (50:45):
I have no idea.

Speaker 3 (50:46):
No, it's yours now, baby boy.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
I know I don't want it to be.
Hey, let me send you the imagefor my baby, daddy is a
leprechaun.

Speaker 3 (50:56):
Let's see, let's see, let's see.
Oh Wow, dang, I don't even knowwhat to say.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
The kid there is horrified, wouldn't you be, I
guess so.

Speaker 2 (51:18):
Pregnant by a zombie dope boy.
Oh my god, the Velociraptor oneis just like fucking.
The Velociraptor one is sostupid.
Let me grab this one for you.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
Alright.
Oh man let me grab this one foryou, alright.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
Oh man, the AI really made it thick yeah, let me show
you the tax refund one that Ihad to describe the entire image
just because it's so good.
My god, jesus christ, good, thefucking ogre thug just looks

(52:05):
like fucking shrek, uh, but likeso.
So the best way can we talkabout the?

Speaker 3 (52:13):
bottle like it's a pacifier that's going into.
It's got like a straw maybeyeah, so what's going on with
that?

Speaker 2 (52:22):
dude's right eye I have no idea the best way I
could describe this one likeshrek looks like you took the
hulk and tried to make him looklike shrek oh yeah, that does
kind of look like Shrek but likenot entirely, but it also looks
like it's Hulk just got a lowtaper fade yeah oh, to remove

(52:49):
books from Kindle library yeah,fuck, you're fucked

Speaker 3 (52:54):
oh god, I really do hope that it says that you're
fucked.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
I got my husband and his daddy pregnant.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
Oh my god, I got my husband and his daddy pregnant.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
Yeah yeah, international best selling off.
And omegaverse ratchet, thereyou go.
Here's this one.

Speaker 3 (53:22):
I got my husband and his daddy pregnant.
Yeah, that's, uh, that's mostcertainly a thing there, fuck.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
I like how all of this just like started, like
what is this post from?
Like nine weeks ago, like itjust started AI post after AI
post.
These are definitely AIgenerated.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
Yeah, yeah, I would say his writing isn't, but these
images most certainly are.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
Yeah, I can't replicate that level of writing,
they're too clean.
Yeah, I can't replicate thatlevel of writing, they're too
clean.
They also can't saymotherfucker, start my
motherfucking day, oh, fuckingwitch.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
How the fuck did you?
Come up on this e it popped upon my tiktok feed.
That's all I have to say aboutit.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
That's fucking incredible.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
So while we were looking at his AI images, I was
reading part of the firstchapter of this.
Ho got roaches in her crib,because the first chapter is
free for anybody to look at.
Chapter one starts with asentence that's bolded and in
all caps All these fuckingroaches and shit.

(54:33):
Ah God, motherfucking damn it.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
You read it just like you read it just like a fucking
audio book.
I would have read it.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
Ah, like I said, like my throat's scratchy because of
all the like mucus coming down,so I can't really get loud I
can't wait to go back to theother murderous gaze black
brownish roaches.
Fred quisha you like fred andquisha correct fred quisha, and
she is laser focused on fiveblack, brownish roaches, all

(55:08):
ranging in sizes.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
If I, if, I refund this book.
They pay me a dollar today wait, if you refund it, they pay you
a dollar yeah, it's anestimated total refund one
dollar and six cents you fucking, it's like we're sorry, that's
on us yeah we're gonna give youa dollar for that.

(55:31):
That's incredible.
Your item has been successfullyreturned good job and look at
that.

Speaker 3 (55:39):
Got a free book.
Got it refunded for a dollar.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
I got some entertainment and I got a dollar
and six cents out of it youwant to know what the rest of
that book contained, though Iknow you do.
You just don't have the time inthe world to fucking put
towards it.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
It sounded like it was a last Spider-Man comics in
my Kindle library.
All right, I'm hungry and abitch need to get her pussy.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
Eight is a sentence in the first chapter.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
The agitated.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
Section 8 strike continued to neck Backtrack.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
I need you to English teacher that sentence the bitch
need to pussy or whatever.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
Oh, I'm hungry and a bitch need to get her pussy ate.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
There we go.
Did you see?
Did we talk about this lasttime?
But did you see that, like theTrump administration sent a
letter to Harvard?
And Harvard fucking returned itback with the red marker all
over it.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
Honestly, that feels right.
I would expect no less for aplace that's probably very
strict on their grammar policies, to kind of tell this McMahon
lady to go fuck herself whichsend us a real letter next time
send us a real threat withcorrect grammar and get back to

(57:01):
us did you see that, fucking,the stock market has a fucking
term for Trump's tariffs tacos,taco.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
Trump always backs, backs out, right, yeah, trump
always backs out for his tariffs.
Chickens out, chickens out,chickens out.
Um, for the tariffs thing,because every time, like
something happens, it goes up.
So, fucking, I saw him, he hewas addressing it in a video and
he didn't know, didn't knowwhat it was or what they were
talking about, and he was justlike are they talking about the

(57:28):
stuff that I lowered?
You know that I implemented andthen lowered.
And then you know, somebodymade an AI video that's him in a
chicken, chicken suit eating ataco, with the audio of his
interview playing over top of it, with his mouth synced to the
fucking, to the sound, so itlike looked like he was actually
saying it.
Our parents are fucked with.

(57:51):
Have you seen the stuff thatwas released for, like the
google ai video stuff?

Speaker 3 (57:56):
I've seen commercials for google.
Ai stuff you shared.

Speaker 2 (58:01):
You shared an ai video generated video on on
tiktok.
I remember seeing somethingthat you had reposted and I was
like this was generated with ai.
I don't remember what it wasexactly but I like a shit post
no, it was like a real thing.
It was like it was like justreal enough but fake, that I
could tell that it was an aigenerated thing.

(58:22):
I'll have to go look and see,but like I saw you, I saw you I
saw you repost it and I was likeI don't think he would have
reposted that if he knew it wasAI generated, because it's just
a blatant fucking lie.
I'll find it and let you know.
I only know because I saw youre-icon on the repost and I was
like, oh okay, I don't know ifhe posted that for satire or if

(58:45):
he actually fell for it.
I saw that and I was like ourfucking parents are fucked for
the next election.

Speaker 3 (58:54):
I would say, if it was a shitpost it was on purpose
.
But if it was not a shitpost,then it was not on purpose.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
I don't even know how to look at your If I can look
directly at your reposts.
Or if it just comes uporganically.
But yeah, let me search, let mesee if I can see it on your
profile.
I'll have to.

(59:20):
I'll have to go look, because Ican't remember exactly where it
was.
Oh, it was the voice in a videogame one.
I'm pretty sure that this wasan AI video.

Speaker 3 (59:38):
No, that's just an old Pete Holmes sketch.
Yeah, I've seen that stand up.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
Okay, because it felt very AI.
I've gotten to the point whereI question everything as being
AI before I even take it at facevalue.
And I looked at that and I waslike that seems it was something
about the lighting that made itfeel weird.

Speaker 3 (59:56):
No, it's just.
It's an old clip that he postedto his TikTok.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Got it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
I know that that's that was legitimate.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
OK.
Yeah, that's Trump gets histariff power taken away.
I did see that they fuckingwere like yeah, you can't
fucking do this asshole.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
And what's funny is it was a Reagan-appointed judge,
an Obama-appointed judge and a.
Trump-appointed judge.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
They were like yeah, the law doesn't give you fucking
unilateral power to justfucking do whatever you want is
basically what they said.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
Well, hopefully a learning experience, but
probably not.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Anybody got any closing thoughts?
We've been here for an houralready.

Speaker 3 (01:00:45):
It's hard to believe, oh we have closing thoughts
Zeno's here for an hour already.
It's hard to believe we haveClosing thoughts Zeno's a
thought.
Does that count, can he?

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
close it.
He spelled it P-H-O-T.
He bought the fucking book andgot a dollar back.

Speaker 3 (01:00:59):
He's just a businessman at that point right,
he got a return on hisinvestment.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
Infinite fucking money glitch.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
That's some Trump business right there.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
Infinite money glitch you better go fucking get a lot
of free books Infinite moneyglitch, yeah, I should just do
that for the rest of the evening.
You're gonna get your Amazonaccount banned, will you watch?

Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
Or I'm gonna own everything this fucking guy has.

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
Jesus Christ.
He's gonna be like wow, mybooks are really best selling.
Why is my bank account in thenegative?

Speaker 3 (01:01:30):
Yeah, my books are really best selling.
Why is my bank account in thenegative?
I'm pretty sure this guy ismaking money at this point
somehow.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
Well, I mean obviously, obviously there was
at least us that were interested.
Of course we refunded the book,but just imagine people who
didn't.
Also, the reviews on it seemtotally chat body.
They're like this book isamazing.
I'm like if you fucking lookedat that, that chapter, and said
this writing is phenomenal,you're high as a kite.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
I mean I don't know man like that sentence I'm
hungry and a bitch need to gether pussy.
Like that is pulitzer powerfulright there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Yeah, yeah, I think that's also not exactly what he
said, is it?
You cleaned it up a bit.

Speaker 3 (01:02:12):
No, like I dropped it in the chat dude, that is an
actual sentence.
I swear to God, thesemotherfucking kids keeping my
house as nasty as shit.

Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
These motherfucking kids keeping my house as nasty
as shit Red.
Queesha better known as Moo Moo, in the streets Also, I love
how a roach actually has a namein this.
Daddy Roach Senior.

(01:02:48):
Oh my God Jesus.
A roach actually has a name inthis daddy roach senior.

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
oh my god jesus oh, I am now dumber for this roaches
were hard to motherfucking kill.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
If she was going to be victorious in offering the
sneaky fuck n word roach and hisfamily, she needed to spite
hard so she could crush theirorgans, killing them on instant
impact.
I said every word exactly inthat sentence, except for saying
the n word in place of theactual n word, and it did not
make any sense to me this sneakyfuck nward roach.

(01:03:25):
What that's fucking.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
That's fucking incredible now, uh, listeners,
I'm gonna need everybody to helpus out here and find kwan mills
on any of his social media ifhe wants to come on the podcast,
that'd be great.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
We'll take him.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
Really try to push that Murky from the ADHD After
Dark podcast wants to doaudiobooks for him.

Speaker 1 (01:03:57):
Could you imagine Murky doing audiobooks for him?

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
Dude, we need to ask Murky if we can make an AI
replica of his voice and thensend it through a passage of
this book.
Oh, that would be amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:04:13):
Obviously, we have to pick one of the passages that
has the n word right yeah, murkywill be like no, because then
you guys are gonna fucking saythat I'm racist and you'll be
like we, we got this audio andI'll be like that's.

Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
AI.
No one's gonna believe me Atthis point.
I think anybody would believeyou if you said it was AI,
especially after this episodeFucking hell.
Oh man, that was, that was atime, boys, I can't wait to go
back to the fucking other chatand tell everybody these new
books that we found and makethem stupid with us.

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
It fucking other chat and tell everybody these new
books that we found make themstupid with us.

Speaker 3 (01:04:50):
It was awful, all right.
Well, I'm glad I could have youguys experience that murky
missed a hell of an episode.

Speaker 2 (01:04:56):
Murky missed a hell of an episode.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
He's gonna have to listen to this now, and murky's
gonna listen to this and just bedying at fucking he's gonna
fucking hear the fucking, all ofthe pregnant fucking things,
and he's gonna.

Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
But he also has the images, so he knows something
happened today.
He's gonna go back.
Yeah, he's gonna be like he'sgonna be like what the fuck?
And he's gonna have to listento the episode to find out,
because I ain't sure it's notgonna tell him yeah oh wait,
none of us gonna tell him, he'sjust gonna have to experience it
oh no, this is great.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
This is a great time this is a great time we live a
great thing bye goodbye goodbye.