December 12, 2023 • 23 mins
Ever wondered how to keep your holiday spending in check while living with ADHD? If so, this heart-to-heart conversation is for you. We're tackling the challenging dance of handling personal finances during the festive season, particularly for those of us with ADHD. This episode promises to provide you with tools to combat the cycle of impulsive spending and the aftermath of regret that often sets in once the celebrations are over. We're going to walk you through a quick and effective 20-minute planning process that respects our need for spontaneity without letting our finances run wild.
Let's take a turn and inject some fun into holiday shopping while also imparting financial responsibility. We'll introduce you to the joy of cashback services such as Rakuten and Swagbucks. These are not just entertaining, but they also make shopping at a myriad of retailers an economically sound choice. You'll get a taste of the thrilling reality that is cashback percentages from various retailers and how these services can substantially pad your savings.
Lastly, we're handing you a survival guide to navigate the tumultuous festive shopping season with ADHD. Be prepared to unearth the significance of setting and adhering to a budget, making the most of cashback services and discount codes, and celebrating your financial victories in the new year. We're here to empower you to overcome the tendencies of impulsive spending and jumpstart the new year with a positive financial outlook. So, join us as we embrace our ADHD, keep things fun, and aim for awesomeness!
Head over to our YouTube channel for the full experience on future episodes.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
David DeWitt (00:00):
Merry Christmas, happy holidays.
Are you sick and tired ofwaking up in January with
crushing financial guilt andshame over the spending that you
did in December?
I know I am and I've madeimmense strides, honestly, over
the past few years and dealingwith my personal finance that
works with my ADHD and notagainst it.
But for whatever reason,despite my best internal verbal
(00:21):
Affirmations and whatever I'mdoing to manage Christmas season
, I can't do it.
I have just sucked at it.
I get lost in the thrill atsome point along the way and
there's a day that blows it allup.
I find myself in Januarybaffled by how much I spent.
The cycle continues year afteryear.
For us with ADHD, this is astaple of life and the
(00:42):
relentless loop for me ends thisyear.
A hundred percent it will.
And this year I'm following anapproach I developed that aligns
with my goals, aligns with whatI really want to be feeling
with about my money, and I'mgonna maintain that spontaneity
that I still crave.
And I'm gonna have some rabbitholes, I can still go down, but
all within Reason because ofthis approach, and I'm gonna
(01:04):
teach you about it today.
So let's get going.
Welcome back to ADHD.
Money talk to show that helpsDynamic or distracted ADHD
brains take back control overtheir money in order to stress
less, living more enriching lifeand open up new and amazing
possibilities.
And I am your humble and veryADHD host of the show ADHD Super
(01:26):
bad with money for most of mylife, even though I know all
that I would ever need to knowabout how to manage my own money
.
It's so much more than that.
It's emotional.
It's all about how it interactswith our childhood, with our
memories of money, with our ADHD.
Our poor executive functioningleaves money to be this pit of
(01:47):
confusion and Shame and guilt.
And I exist on this planetright now to help you Figure it
out, so that you can have afuture that you can feel proud
of and get past this terriblemoney Stress that can eat us and
our relationships alive.
That's why we're here andPlease like and subscribe to the
(02:10):
channel.
If you're on YouTube and ifyou're on the podcast, then I
love you.
Before we talk about the process, let's talk about the typical
Christmas ADHD routine.
So what happens is comingaround the corner,
thanksgiving's over, blackFriday happens and we're thrown
directly into the industrialmarketing things, consumerist,
(02:33):
complex, whatever we want tocall it and we get sucked in and
we are not in a world designedto help our brains and Spending
might start to happen.
We haven't even had a second tobreathe.
We just go.
We've done no planning, we'vesaid nothing up.
We may have taught ourselvesI'm going to do better this year
, I'm going to be more mindful.
(02:54):
That's not enough.
So there's no planning andspending sprees happen.
We just do.
We go down the rabbit hole onAmazon.
We go to the mall and we'rewe're thinking, okay, we're
gonna buy some gifts for thesepeople.
But the next thing, you know,you're going to all the stores
and you're just seeing stuff andyou're Disrationalizing on the
fly.
You're buying stuff and it'sjust starting to melt down and
(03:16):
You're starting to feel thatgrowing bubbling, underlying
feeling of Overwhelming regretalready kind of coming in.
You know it's already there andyou're starting to feel the
pain with every single buy nowand Sound of the cash register
opening and closing and you'rejust feeling it.
It's starting to happen now asthe actual day of Christmas or
(03:40):
whatever you're celebrating,where you're giving gifts,
approaches, like it's tomorrow.
It kind of just goes awaybecause you're
compartmentalizing.
You're like, okay, I get toactually give this stuff now and
that is awesome, it feels greatand you're excited and you are
Notoriously a gift giver thatrocks.
You just are.
So it starts to ease andChristmas is here.
(04:03):
Now you get a momentary purerelief.
You have great joy.
You're giving gifts is fun, youare the best gift giver, like I
just said, so you walk awayfrom the day feeling
accomplished, you are filledwith the compliments and the
good feels.
It's awesome and that makes anADHD person happy to get that
positive Feedback reinforcingthat we did great this year.
(04:26):
But you know what?
January comes, credit cardbills show up and the regret and
shame and confusion and theabsolute astonishment with which
you see how much money youspent sets in and it just it's
too much to handle.
So you go right back intoavoidance and basically you're
gonna spend a lot of us.
I've been there 2024, the nextyear you're gonna be paying off
(04:50):
last year's Christmas shoppingfor the entire year.
In fact, maybe you're evenpaying off the year before.
And let's be real, your kidsand your family members don't
really remember like I'mthinking about last year.
I can't remember half thethings I got and who got me what
I just don't.
So when I'm giving gifts, whydo I wanna be paying off things
(05:14):
that they don't even.
I mean, let's also be real.
If this has just been yearafter year after year after year
of just giving the gifts anddoing the thing, I mean, how
thankful are we all really forall of this?
How much of this I mean in yourfamily?
Could you just be like okayguys, let's be honest here, this
ain't helping us.
(05:35):
This is not the way.
This repeating cycle is a stapleof life for so many of us with
ADHD, because we were sucked inby the instant gratification,
the instant feels of greatness,of gift giving.
It's so fun and so awesome, butthere is a better way.
There's a better way and youcan still be spontaneous.
You can still let loose alittle bit, but you're not gonna
(05:58):
have blow up if you just followa simple game plan.
It takes 20 minutes of planningand creating a game plan that
can make all of the difference.
You're still probably gonna beupset with how much you spent,
but that's all on a scale.
You can be blown up, upset oryou can be like you know what.
(06:19):
It doesn't feel great, but thisis so much better than before
and I can improve on this thisyear.
You're gonna love yourself,you're gonna love your future
self and it'll be so worth it,so worth it, so worth it.
So let's move into the nextsection of this episode and
we're gonna talk about Christmasand holiday budgeting.
(06:44):
We're gonna talk about thisstep by step.
The only prerequisite to beingable to do this approach is that
you've at least set up a simplebudget or spending plan in the
past.
You know the basics of how todo it and you'd kind of know
what your fixed expenses are,and you can at least accurately
(07:04):
see how much you overspent everymonth, because you understand
how to track and these kind ofvery basic things which, if you
want more information on, I'vegot tons of podcast episodes in
the past about budgeting.
The first thing you need to dois simply list out all the
people you want to buy gifts for.
You just do that.
You just list it out on a pieceof paper, on a note app,
(07:26):
whatever you got, and you put anumber next to it that
represents how much you'rewilling to spend on them.
If you know what you want toget that person already, then
you write that down and, ofcourse, you base the amount of
your estimate on how much thatthing will actually probably
cost, if you know For others.
I encourage you to write acouple ideas of what you might
(07:47):
get for them.
You're now pre-setting somelevel of understanding.
You're setting some level ofcommitment to yourself that this
is what's going to happen.
So you're already off to abetter start than you probably
are most years.
If you have kids, it's also agood idea to put next to them
another number, and this numberwill represent how many gifts
(08:11):
you are okay with buying forthem.
So I've got two kids, so I'dput for one I'm going to get
five, and for the other four,three, whatever.
So what I'm doing, what we aredoing this year, me and my wife,
we are doing a thing where, tomake this very structured and
easy, to kind of just like bangthrough, we're getting each kid
(08:33):
something to read, somethingthey want, something to share,
something they need andsomething to wear, and it even
rhymes.
So it's awesome.
And so that's 10 gifts totalfor our two kids.
In our case, we've added up thetotal amount that we're going to
be spending on them between thetwo of them is $300, just so
(08:53):
you understand where I'm comingfrom.
I've got my mother-in-law.
We've got my siblings-in-law.
I've got my siblings, myparents.
That's basically runs it andthe amount that we are spending
on them.
Our total budget for this monthis $750 of Christmas shopping.
(09:14):
I am going to stick to it thebest I can.
Let me tell you some more aboutwhat we're going to do here.
So the next thing you do is youadd up the total amount of
money you just listed out.
So this number will probably bea slap in the face and a
surprise, because you're nowpre-experiencing the amount of
(09:39):
money you might spend, asopposed to actually experiencing
the amount of money you didspend.
And getting these emotions outof the way at the beginning is
again a huge leg up in all ofthis.
And to elaborate on thealternative, the alternative is
basically running around themall doing very, very
(10:00):
rudimentary and bad mental mathand just giving into the
full-blown ADHD-style temporaryamnesia.
And then you find out inJanuary, and the cycle is on.
Of course, that method is justnot what we want.
It's just not.
We all know it's not what wewant, and so now that you see
(10:22):
this number, you can makeadjustments.
Now, feelings are great.
Use feelings as a guide.
If your initial gut reactionwas frick, then you should
probably reduce the amounts youput for each person you want to
get a gift for.
If your gut reaction wasneutral, then you can go with it
(10:42):
.
Maybe just tone it down alittle bit.
And if your reaction is, oh wow, this is less than I expected,
then definitely go with it,because you're going to thank
yourself later.
You can trust me on that.
You'll thank yourself later.
So now you go into yourbudgeting app or journal or a
whiteboard that's a great ideaor your big piece of cardboard,
your poster board, whatever.
(11:03):
However, you're going to dothis.
Totally recommend the big,externalized ways.
It's great.
And, as just a quick tip, usingan app that you like that's
simple enough to track and setup a simple budget plus an
external large format is a greatwinning formula.
So, like a whiteboard or aposter board or something where
(11:24):
you're actually rewriting thebudget you set every month, and
having it somewhere external,it's great.
And now you go to your budgetingapp or your budgeting journal
or your budgeting sheet, howeveryou do it, and you throw that
number in that you added up forall the gifts in there under the
gift category, and that's notall.
(11:45):
So now what you have to do isyou have to go through every
controllable category that youhave.
So, like food and othershopping, the personal sort of
just general needs and personalwants that you would be buying
regardless of the month mostlyfood, just so we're really clear
(12:08):
on that.
It's probably food is whereyou're going to be needing to
make some sacrifices.
But you go through all theother categories and you adjust
them so that your budget totalspending amount is now the same
as it was before you put in thegifts.
So, for instance, you mightchange groceries from 800 to 600
and you might change eating outfrom 700 to 400, whatever it is
(12:32):
.
And then, as you're doing this,you're basically saying to
yourself we're out loud or toyour partner we will, I will
reduce spending in this category.
We will eat out less.
We will eat out only two timesa week instead of the normal
average of like three or four.
We will.
You need to be saying itintentionally and regardless if
(12:53):
you're feeling that littleinternal thing that goes yeah,
right, you still got to say itover and over again until you
drown that little mother everout because he sucks.
Okay, once you've done this, youhave yourself a budget and a
spending plan that fits in thegifts and you have a small list
(13:14):
and so, right down those littlechanges that you made, how
you're going to fit it in, writethem down in a quick little
list, on the same sheet maybe,where you have the gift amounts
and all that, the gifts list andstuff, and you now have a
budget that works on paper.
It works right On paper.
It works, and we're so good atmaking budgets that work on
(13:34):
paper.
They're the best actually.
They're pretty and they'regreat, but we gotta make it work
in real life.
So now you're ready to dosomething, but you have to do it
, and that's what we're gonnatalk about next.
So we're gonna talk about theactual process of buying the
gifts in a way that makes itstill fun, still like a treasure
hunt, but within our balance.
(13:56):
Now it's time to shop.
So and at this point you mightfeel a little bit stifled, you
know, by the rules you set up,you put all these amounts.
They don't seem like you knowenough.
You know, and all this and andthe planning, and it's like,
okay, I'm gonna do this plan.
How boring.
Okay, you're so used to justgoing out and being spontaneous
and there is serious fun in that.
Like, don't get me wrong.
(14:16):
I I really do appreciate thatnotion, but you are doing the
responsible thing this year.
But that doesn't mean it can'tbe fun.
It still can be fun, novel andstimulating and exciting.
So my first tip is use acashback service.
In fact, this is basically theonly tip for this year, just so
I don't give you too manyoptions.
(14:36):
Just try this one.
My first tip is to use acashback service like Rakuten or
swag bucks there's many ofthese services, depending on
where you live in the world andyada, yada, yada.
It allows you to buy thingsfrom retailers with a specified
amount of cashback that you'regoing to be getting.
This is fun because whathappens is you go, you log in,
(14:58):
you create the account and thenyou see all of the retailers and
all of the amounts of cashbackand now you're like, okay,
double the excitement, I'mseeing all these retailers.
Maybe there's some that youdidn't expect to see or some
that you had forgotten about.
So you get this kind of benefitof being like oh, let me go
check out what's here.
So you get to kind of do thissort of like fun shopping
(15:21):
experience, finding things thatyou could get from places you
may not have even reallyconsidered.
So you're not just going toAmazon, you're not just going to
the mall and seeing all thesame stuff.
You're seeing new ideas andthings and you get to go explore
and follow the dopamine alittle bit.
You know you get to do this,but you know you get cashback.
So you can see all thedifferent retailers Like right
now it looks like I've pulled upa racket in on my screen here.
(15:44):
So right now we've got Macy's10% cashback.
We've got Walmart 5% cashback.
Old Navy a measly 2%, but stillcashback target 1%.
I would skip that one target.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Samsung 10% cashback.
Ulta 4%.
Adidas 8%.
Footlocker 8% cashback.
We've got Levi's 5%.
(16:06):
We've got Zappos 6%.
We've got Lowe's 3%.
Stubhub 4% Buy someone aconcert or an event.
Zorro I don't even know whatthat is, but it's 8% cashback.
What else there's so much funhere?
We've got Groupon 2%.
Qvc 2%.
Sephora 2.
Lenovo, 2.
Gap 6%.
Bed, bath and Beyond.
New online, differently ownedone 4%.
(16:28):
Ulta I said that one already.
Afflita that's a nice store.
2%.
Timu if you're okay with thecommunist government potentially
taking some of your information, then you can get 18% back at
Timu.
I will admit, I bought stufffrom Timu earlier this year.
I just did and I just acceptedthat I'm going to be part of the
(16:52):
data that could be used againstus.
I don't know, I'm fine.
You can see that there's lotsof fun to be had here.
You get cashback.
Let's take an example of apretty hefty one, but not like
Timu Adidas 8%, I'll say.
(17:13):
My spend, all of my 750 out ofD does getting a percent.
All right, so you get 60 bucksback.
So now you've really only spent690 and if you really want to
Extend the amount that you canreally shop, then you can say,
okay, that's 60 bucks, we cannow.
We know that in advance.
That's how much we're gonna getback.
We can spend that on more giftsif you want to do a little bit
(17:34):
extra.
So that initial planning andhaving some sort of game plan
sets you up in such a good wayand doing something like this
Still gives you fun.
It still gives you the abilityto explore and it's great.
I mean, honestly, I'm veryexcited, like to get on here and
do some of the shopping myself,like it's I'm.
It's new and it's novel for meand I'll probably use racketen
(17:56):
throughout the year, but Thingswear off.
You know the new and novelty ofit.
Maybe next year going back tothe mall will be what's new and
novel and feels Exciting for menext year.
I never know what's gonna feelexciting, but for me this is
what it is.
This year, if you are going tothe mall, you can try capital
one shopping, because capitalone shopping works within store
shopping.
I actually don't know exactlyhow, but I was doing some light
(18:18):
research for this and it canwork for in store shopping so
you could do something like thatcapital one shopping.
Capital one shopping is onethat will uh, I Recommend using
racketen and capital oneshopping because capital one
shopping looks for all.
It scrapes the web for alldiscount codes that might be
existing right now andautomatically tries them, and so
you might get some promotionalcodes working as you're doing
(18:40):
some online shopping or in storeshopping, because apparently it
works for in store shopping too.
So if you like the structurethat I'm offering, then, like
when you go on to a racketen,you know sort by.
You know look at the bestcashback options first and try
and get gifts there and thenmove down to the lower cashback
If you're not able to find giftsthat you know, feel like good
(19:01):
gifts.
If you just are an Amazonperson, like I've said before,
sort by the biggest percentageoff of the deals and see if you
can find anything, these littlethings make a big difference.
They really do.
So that is the next step ofthis process.
It's simply being intentionalwith the shopping and then, as
you're buying things for people,you're going to just take the
(19:23):
amount that you bought and justwrite it next to the.
In fact, I want to go backwardsfor one second and say on the
budget sheet that you you create, if it's analog, like it's on
paper, then when you do gifts,you do gifts and then you can
have, like, just for this month,that can be the group.
And then you can subgroup andsay all the people and put the
sub budget amount.
(19:44):
Now, wait, as you're buying,before you it hits your credit
card or whatever you can justquickly jot down Okay, I spent
this much on there.
And you just keep looking atthat thing as it fills up and
you just see, okay, I spent,okay, I'm on track, I'm on track
, okay, I went a little overhere and I can pull back now on
the gift for this person,so-and-so.
And you just do this.
What I really want for you is tohave the feeling of control and
(20:06):
the feeling of the having theplan to be infectious for you,
for it to fill you up with thegood feelings that's rewarding,
that makes you want to continuethis kind of approach to
budgeting for the rest of yourlife as well, because the
feelings, the good feelings thatcan come from the feeling of
control and then the feeling ofHaving a January that's not full
financial stress and getting tostart a new year on a better
(20:28):
stage, is Rewarding.
So the other thing that youwant to do is, if you do stick
to this and all of that, thenmake sure you put a reminder in
your phone in January to likecelebrate a little bit to
reinforce that you won, becausethere's enough time between the
good behavior now in Januarywhere you just forget you're
like, oh, whatever, no, you wantto like remind yourself how
great you did and how amazing itwas and how great you feel
(20:51):
about what you did.
By doing all these things, youare able to offset the ADHD pull
towards Impulsive, randomspending.
Yes, I basically covered thatand I guess I ended it kind of
with like, even if you followedhalf of this advice, you're
gonna be better off than youwould be otherwise.
So there you have it.
(21:12):
So I guess, to recap, make alist of all the people you want
to spend for, put the amount youwant to spend for them.
For kids, put an extra number,which is how many you want to
get for each kid, and then addup all the amounts of money you
wanted.
If your gut reaction is great,this looks good, go for it.
If your gut reaction is, wow,I'm gonna spend this much money
on Christmas, then reduce allthe spending amounts.
(21:33):
If you've got reaction is, oh,wow, look at me, I'm only gonna
spend this much, then go withthat number.
You're gonna Thank me later andthen you go and put that total
amount that you kind of agreedto yourself You're going to
spend into your budget andyou're going to adjust all the
other controllable categoriesdown to fit it in so that you're
left with a net same as younormally budget for.
Then, when you go to do yourshopping, use the cashback
(21:56):
service like racketing, becauseit is like a treasure hunt.
You can get cash back at thesame time as treasure hunting
for things, for people thatmaybe you weren't considering
before, and if you go into thestore, try capital one shopping
and Also try capital oneshopping for the online as well,
because it's going to try andget you discount codes and
you're gonna do all these thingsand then you're going to reward
yourself in January for thegreat job you did and you're
(22:18):
gonna get off to a better startin 2024.
Good luck, stay ADHD, stay fun,stay exciting, stay awesome.
Don't beat yourself up.
Give yourself grace.
I love you all.
See ya.
Merry Christmas, happy holidays.
Are you sick and tired ofwaking up in January with
crushing financial guilt andshame over the spending that you
did in December?
I know I am and I've madeimmense strides, honestly, over
the past few years and dealingwith my personal finance that
works with my ADHD and notagainst it.
But for whatever reason,despite my best internal verbal
(00:21):
Affirmations and whatever I'mdoing to manage Christmas season
, I can't do it.
I have just sucked at it.
I get lost in the thrill atsome point along the way and
there's a day that blows it allup.
I find myself in Januarybaffled by how much I spent.
The cycle continues year afteryear.
For us with ADHD, this is astaple of life and the
(00:42):
relentless loop for me ends thisyear.
A hundred percent it will.
And this year I'm following anapproach I developed that aligns
with my goals, aligns with whatI really want to be feeling
with about my money, and I'mgonna maintain that spontaneity
that I still crave.
And I'm gonna have some rabbitholes, I can still go down, but
all within Reason because ofthis approach, and I'm gonna
(01:04):
teach you about it today.
So let's get going.
Welcome back to ADHD.
Money talk to show that helpsDynamic or distracted ADHD
brains take back control overtheir money in order to stress
less, living more enriching lifeand open up new and amazing
possibilities.
And I am your humble and veryADHD host of the show ADHD Super
(01:26):
bad with money for most of mylife, even though I know all
that I would ever need to knowabout how to manage my own money
.
It's so much more than that.
It's emotional.
It's all about how it interactswith our childhood, with our
memories of money, with our ADHD.
Our poor executive functioningleaves money to be this pit of
(01:47):
confusion and Shame and guilt.
And I exist on this planetright now to help you Figure it
out, so that you can have afuture that you can feel proud
of and get past this terriblemoney Stress that can eat us and
our relationships alive.
That's why we're here andPlease like and subscribe to the
(02:10):
channel.
If you're on YouTube and ifyou're on the podcast, then I
love you.
Before we talk about the process, let's talk about the typical
Christmas ADHD routine.
So what happens is comingaround the corner,
thanksgiving's over, blackFriday happens and we're thrown
directly into the industrialmarketing things, consumerist,
(02:33):
complex, whatever we want tocall it and we get sucked in and
we are not in a world designedto help our brains and Spending
might start to happen.
We haven't even had a second tobreathe.
We just go.
We've done no planning, we'vesaid nothing up.
We may have taught ourselvesI'm going to do better this year
, I'm going to be more mindful.
(02:54):
That's not enough.
So there's no planning andspending sprees happen.
We just do.
We go down the rabbit hole onAmazon.
We go to the mall and we'rewe're thinking, okay, we're
gonna buy some gifts for thesepeople.
But the next thing, you know,you're going to all the stores
and you're just seeing stuff andyou're Disrationalizing on the
fly.
You're buying stuff and it'sjust starting to melt down and
(03:16):
You're starting to feel thatgrowing bubbling, underlying
feeling of Overwhelming regretalready kind of coming in.
You know it's already there andyou're starting to feel the
pain with every single buy nowand Sound of the cash register
opening and closing and you'rejust feeling it.
It's starting to happen now asthe actual day of Christmas or
(03:40):
whatever you're celebrating,where you're giving gifts,
approaches, like it's tomorrow.
It kind of just goes awaybecause you're
compartmentalizing.
You're like, okay, I get toactually give this stuff now and
that is awesome, it feels greatand you're excited and you are
Notoriously a gift giver thatrocks.
You just are.
So it starts to ease andChristmas is here.
(04:03):
Now you get a momentary purerelief.
You have great joy.
You're giving gifts is fun, youare the best gift giver, like I
just said, so you walk awayfrom the day feeling
accomplished, you are filledwith the compliments and the
good feels.
It's awesome and that makes anADHD person happy to get that
positive Feedback reinforcingthat we did great this year.
(04:26):
But you know what?
January comes, credit cardbills show up and the regret and
shame and confusion and theabsolute astonishment with which
you see how much money youspent sets in and it just it's
too much to handle.
So you go right back intoavoidance and basically you're
gonna spend a lot of us.
I've been there 2024, the nextyear you're gonna be paying off
(04:50):
last year's Christmas shoppingfor the entire year.
In fact, maybe you're evenpaying off the year before.
And let's be real, your kidsand your family members don't
really remember like I'mthinking about last year.
I can't remember half thethings I got and who got me what
I just don't.
So when I'm giving gifts, whydo I wanna be paying off things
(05:14):
that they don't even.
I mean, let's also be real.
If this has just been yearafter year after year after year
of just giving the gifts anddoing the thing, I mean, how
thankful are we all really forall of this?
How much of this I mean in yourfamily?
Could you just be like okayguys, let's be honest here, this
ain't helping us.
(05:35):
This is not the way.
This repeating cycle is a stapleof life for so many of us with
ADHD, because we were sucked inby the instant gratification,
the instant feels of greatness,of gift giving.
It's so fun and so awesome, butthere is a better way.
There's a better way and youcan still be spontaneous.
You can still let loose alittle bit, but you're not gonna
(05:58):
have blow up if you just followa simple game plan.
It takes 20 minutes of planningand creating a game plan that
can make all of the difference.
You're still probably gonna beupset with how much you spent,
but that's all on a scale.
You can be blown up, upset oryou can be like you know what.
(06:19):
It doesn't feel great, but thisis so much better than before
and I can improve on this thisyear.
You're gonna love yourself,you're gonna love your future
self and it'll be so worth it,so worth it, so worth it.
So let's move into the nextsection of this episode and
we're gonna talk about Christmasand holiday budgeting.
(06:44):
We're gonna talk about thisstep by step.
The only prerequisite to beingable to do this approach is that
you've at least set up a simplebudget or spending plan in the
past.
You know the basics of how todo it and you'd kind of know
what your fixed expenses are,and you can at least accurately
(07:04):
see how much you overspent everymonth, because you understand
how to track and these kind ofvery basic things which, if you
want more information on, I'vegot tons of podcast episodes in
the past about budgeting.
The first thing you need to dois simply list out all the
people you want to buy gifts for.
You just do that.
You just list it out on a pieceof paper, on a note app,
(07:26):
whatever you got, and you put anumber next to it that
represents how much you'rewilling to spend on them.
If you know what you want toget that person already, then
you write that down and, ofcourse, you base the amount of
your estimate on how much thatthing will actually probably
cost, if you know For others.
I encourage you to write acouple ideas of what you might
(07:47):
get for them.
You're now pre-setting somelevel of understanding.
You're setting some level ofcommitment to yourself that this
is what's going to happen.
So you're already off to abetter start than you probably
are most years.
If you have kids, it's also agood idea to put next to them
another number, and this numberwill represent how many gifts
(08:11):
you are okay with buying forthem.
So I've got two kids, so I'dput for one I'm going to get
five, and for the other four,three, whatever.
So what I'm doing, what we aredoing this year, me and my wife,
we are doing a thing where, tomake this very structured and
easy, to kind of just like bangthrough, we're getting each kid
(08:33):
something to read, somethingthey want, something to share,
something they need andsomething to wear, and it even
rhymes.
So it's awesome.
And so that's 10 gifts totalfor our two kids.
In our case, we've added up thetotal amount that we're going to
be spending on them between thetwo of them is $300, just so
(08:53):
you understand where I'm comingfrom.
I've got my mother-in-law.
We've got my siblings-in-law.
I've got my siblings, myparents.
That's basically runs it andthe amount that we are spending
on them.
Our total budget for this monthis $750 of Christmas shopping.
(09:14):
I am going to stick to it thebest I can.
Let me tell you some more aboutwhat we're going to do here.
So the next thing you do is youadd up the total amount of
money you just listed out.
So this number will probably bea slap in the face and a
surprise, because you're nowpre-experiencing the amount of
(09:39):
money you might spend, asopposed to actually experiencing
the amount of money you didspend.
And getting these emotions outof the way at the beginning is
again a huge leg up in all ofthis.
And to elaborate on thealternative, the alternative is
basically running around themall doing very, very
(10:00):
rudimentary and bad mental mathand just giving into the
full-blown ADHD-style temporaryamnesia.
And then you find out inJanuary, and the cycle is on.
Of course, that method is justnot what we want.
It's just not.
We all know it's not what wewant, and so now that you see
(10:22):
this number, you can makeadjustments.
Now, feelings are great.
Use feelings as a guide.
If your initial gut reactionwas frick, then you should
probably reduce the amounts youput for each person you want to
get a gift for.
If your gut reaction wasneutral, then you can go with it
(10:42):
.
Maybe just tone it down alittle bit.
And if your reaction is, oh wow, this is less than I expected,
then definitely go with it,because you're going to thank
yourself later.
You can trust me on that.
You'll thank yourself later.
So now you go into yourbudgeting app or journal or a
whiteboard that's a great ideaor your big piece of cardboard,
your poster board, whatever.
(11:03):
However, you're going to dothis.
Totally recommend the big,externalized ways.
It's great.
And, as just a quick tip, usingan app that you like that's
simple enough to track and setup a simple budget plus an
external large format is a greatwinning formula.
So, like a whiteboard or aposter board or something where
(11:24):
you're actually rewriting thebudget you set every month, and
having it somewhere external,it's great.
And now you go to your budgetingapp or your budgeting journal
or your budgeting sheet, howeveryou do it, and you throw that
number in that you added up forall the gifts in there under the
gift category, and that's notall.
(11:45):
So now what you have to do isyou have to go through every
controllable category that youhave.
So, like food and othershopping, the personal sort of
just general needs and personalwants that you would be buying
regardless of the month mostlyfood, just so we're really clear
(12:08):
on that.
It's probably food is whereyou're going to be needing to
make some sacrifices.
But you go through all theother categories and you adjust
them so that your budget totalspending amount is now the same
as it was before you put in thegifts.
So, for instance, you mightchange groceries from 800 to 600
and you might change eating outfrom 700 to 400, whatever it is
(12:32):
.
And then, as you're doing this,you're basically saying to
yourself we're out loud or toyour partner we will, I will
reduce spending in this category.
We will eat out less.
We will eat out only two timesa week instead of the normal
average of like three or four.
We will.
You need to be saying itintentionally and regardless if
(12:53):
you're feeling that littleinternal thing that goes yeah,
right, you still got to say itover and over again until you
drown that little mother everout because he sucks.
Okay, once you've done this, youhave yourself a budget and a
spending plan that fits in thegifts and you have a small list
(13:14):
and so, right down those littlechanges that you made, how
you're going to fit it in, writethem down in a quick little
list, on the same sheet maybe,where you have the gift amounts
and all that, the gifts list andstuff, and you now have a
budget that works on paper.
It works right On paper.
It works, and we're so good atmaking budgets that work on
(13:34):
paper.
They're the best actually.
They're pretty and they'regreat, but we gotta make it work
in real life.
So now you're ready to dosomething, but you have to do it
, and that's what we're gonnatalk about next.
So we're gonna talk about theactual process of buying the
gifts in a way that makes itstill fun, still like a treasure
hunt, but within our balance.
(13:56):
Now it's time to shop.
So and at this point you mightfeel a little bit stifled, you
know, by the rules you set up,you put all these amounts.
They don't seem like you knowenough.
You know, and all this and andthe planning, and it's like,
okay, I'm gonna do this plan.
How boring.
Okay, you're so used to justgoing out and being spontaneous
and there is serious fun in that.
Like, don't get me wrong.
(14:16):
I I really do appreciate thatnotion, but you are doing the
responsible thing this year.
But that doesn't mean it can'tbe fun.
It still can be fun, novel andstimulating and exciting.
So my first tip is use acashback service.
In fact, this is basically theonly tip for this year, just so
I don't give you too manyoptions.
(14:36):
Just try this one.
My first tip is to use acashback service like Rakuten or
swag bucks there's many ofthese services, depending on
where you live in the world andyada, yada, yada.
It allows you to buy thingsfrom retailers with a specified
amount of cashback that you'regoing to be getting.
This is fun because whathappens is you go, you log in,
(14:58):
you create the account and thenyou see all of the retailers and
all of the amounts of cashbackand now you're like, okay,
double the excitement, I'mseeing all these retailers.
Maybe there's some that youdidn't expect to see or some
that you had forgotten about.
So you get this kind of benefitof being like oh, let me go
check out what's here.
So you get to kind of do thissort of like fun shopping
(15:21):
experience, finding things thatyou could get from places you
may not have even reallyconsidered.
So you're not just going toAmazon, you're not just going to
the mall and seeing all thesame stuff.
You're seeing new ideas andthings and you get to go explore
and follow the dopamine alittle bit.
You know you get to do this,but you know you get cashback.
So you can see all thedifferent retailers Like right
now it looks like I've pulled upa racket in on my screen here.
(15:44):
So right now we've got Macy's10% cashback.
We've got Walmart 5% cashback.
Old Navy a measly 2%, but stillcashback target 1%.
I would skip that one target.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Samsung 10% cashback.
Ulta 4%.
Adidas 8%.
Footlocker 8% cashback.
We've got Levi's 5%.
(16:06):
We've got Zappos 6%.
We've got Lowe's 3%.
Stubhub 4% Buy someone aconcert or an event.
Zorro I don't even know whatthat is, but it's 8% cashback.
What else there's so much funhere?
We've got Groupon 2%.
Qvc 2%.
Sephora 2.
Lenovo, 2.
Gap 6%.
Bed, bath and Beyond.
New online, differently ownedone 4%.
(16:28):
Ulta I said that one already.
Afflita that's a nice store.
2%.
Timu if you're okay with thecommunist government potentially
taking some of your information, then you can get 18% back at
Timu.
I will admit, I bought stufffrom Timu earlier this year.
I just did and I just acceptedthat I'm going to be part of the
(16:52):
data that could be used againstus.
I don't know, I'm fine.
You can see that there's lotsof fun to be had here.
You get cashback.
Let's take an example of apretty hefty one, but not like
Timu Adidas 8%, I'll say.
(17:13):
My spend, all of my 750 out ofD does getting a percent.
All right, so you get 60 bucksback.
So now you've really only spent690 and if you really want to
Extend the amount that you canreally shop, then you can say,
okay, that's 60 bucks, we cannow.
We know that in advance.
That's how much we're gonna getback.
We can spend that on more giftsif you want to do a little bit
(17:34):
extra.
So that initial planning andhaving some sort of game plan
sets you up in such a good wayand doing something like this
Still gives you fun.
It still gives you the abilityto explore and it's great.
I mean, honestly, I'm veryexcited, like to get on here and
do some of the shopping myself,like it's I'm.
It's new and it's novel for meand I'll probably use racketen
(17:56):
throughout the year, but Thingswear off.
You know the new and novelty ofit.
Maybe next year going back tothe mall will be what's new and
novel and feels Exciting for menext year.
I never know what's gonna feelexciting, but for me this is
what it is.
This year, if you are going tothe mall, you can try capital
one shopping, because capitalone shopping works within store
shopping.
I actually don't know exactlyhow, but I was doing some light
(18:18):
research for this and it canwork for in store shopping so
you could do something like thatcapital one shopping.
Capital one shopping is onethat will uh, I Recommend using
racketen and capital oneshopping because capital one
shopping looks for all.
It scrapes the web for alldiscount codes that might be
existing right now andautomatically tries them, and so
you might get some promotionalcodes working as you're doing
(18:40):
some online shopping or in storeshopping, because apparently it
works for in store shopping too.
So if you like the structurethat I'm offering, then, like
when you go on to a racketen,you know sort by.
You know look at the bestcashback options first and try
and get gifts there and thenmove down to the lower cashback
If you're not able to find giftsthat you know, feel like good
(19:01):
gifts.
If you just are an Amazonperson, like I've said before,
sort by the biggest percentageoff of the deals and see if you
can find anything, these littlethings make a big difference.
They really do.
So that is the next step ofthis process.
It's simply being intentionalwith the shopping and then, as
you're buying things for people,you're going to just take the
(19:23):
amount that you bought and justwrite it next to the.
In fact, I want to go backwardsfor one second and say on the
budget sheet that you you create, if it's analog, like it's on
paper, then when you do gifts,you do gifts and then you can
have, like, just for this month,that can be the group.
And then you can subgroup andsay all the people and put the
sub budget amount.
(19:44):
Now, wait, as you're buying,before you it hits your credit
card or whatever you can justquickly jot down Okay, I spent
this much on there.
And you just keep looking atthat thing as it fills up and
you just see, okay, I spent,okay, I'm on track, I'm on track
, okay, I went a little overhere and I can pull back now on
the gift for this person,so-and-so.
And you just do this.
What I really want for you is tohave the feeling of control and
(20:06):
the feeling of the having theplan to be infectious for you,
for it to fill you up with thegood feelings that's rewarding,
that makes you want to continuethis kind of approach to
budgeting for the rest of yourlife as well, because the
feelings, the good feelings thatcan come from the feeling of
control and then the feeling ofHaving a January that's not full
financial stress and getting tostart a new year on a better
(20:28):
stage, is Rewarding.
So the other thing that youwant to do is, if you do stick
to this and all of that, thenmake sure you put a reminder in
your phone in January to likecelebrate a little bit to
reinforce that you won, becausethere's enough time between the
good behavior now in Januarywhere you just forget you're
like, oh, whatever, no, you wantto like remind yourself how
great you did and how amazing itwas and how great you feel
(20:51):
about what you did.
By doing all these things, youare able to offset the ADHD pull
towards Impulsive, randomspending.
Yes, I basically covered thatand I guess I ended it kind of
with like, even if you followedhalf of this advice, you're
gonna be better off than youwould be otherwise.
So there you have it.
(21:12):
So I guess, to recap, make alist of all the people you want
to spend for, put the amount youwant to spend for them.
For kids, put an extra number,which is how many you want to
get for each kid, and then addup all the amounts of money you
wanted.
If your gut reaction is great,this looks good, go for it.
If your gut reaction is, wow,I'm gonna spend this much money
on Christmas, then reduce allthe spending amounts.
(21:33):
If you've got reaction is, oh,wow, look at me, I'm only gonna
spend this much, then go withthat number.
You're gonna Thank me later andthen you go and put that total
amount that you kind of agreedto yourself You're going to
spend into your budget andyou're going to adjust all the
other controllable categoriesdown to fit it in so that you're
left with a net same as younormally budget for.
Then, when you go to do yourshopping, use the cashback
(21:56):
service like racketing, becauseit is like a treasure hunt.
You can get cash back at thesame time as treasure hunting
for things, for people thatmaybe you weren't considering
before, and if you go into thestore, try capital one shopping
and Also try capital oneshopping for the online as well,
because it's going to try andget you discount codes and
you're gonna do all these thingsand then you're going to reward
yourself in January for thegreat job you did and you're
(22:18):
gonna get off to a better startin 2024.
Good luck, stay ADHD, stay fun,stay exciting, stay awesome.
Don't beat yourself up.
Give yourself grace.
I love you all.
See ya.
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