Ep. 80: Boundaries, ADHD, and Finding Your House Key: “I Have a Million Butlers That Are Not My Own”

ADHD doesn’t just challenge attention, it tangles with identity, boundaries, and emotional overwhelm. In this episode, Michelle and Megan continue their deep (and often hilarious) dive into Your Brain Is Not Broken by Dr. Tamara Rosier, focusing on how boundaries work for the ADHD brain, and what it means to actually live inside your own emotional house.

From the metaphor of the house, yard, and fence to the vulnerability of inner child work, this episode touches on the complex dynamics of masking, self-trust, and growing up with blurry boundaries. Megan reveals what it means to lock herself out of her own house, while Michelle describes the exhausting noise of running “a million butlers that are not my own.” Together, they model in real time what it looks like to navigate sticky emotions, time stress, and real-life boundaries—without a script and with deep love.

This is a must-listen for anyone working on creating a life where self-worth, communication, and compassion coexist.

Favorite line:“I have a million butlers that are not my own.”

00:00 — Welcome, high kicks, and boundary talk
03:20 — Why the house/yard/fence metaphor is hard to live
08:40 — The pullout couch story: navigating discomfort and honesty
13:45 — Late starts and emotional misfires
17:22 — Real-time boundary setting in action
23:00 — Metaphors, membranes, and moving the fence
26:10 — Being on the other side of the fence doesn’t mean someone isn’t loved
31:20 — Megan’s thesis: the house is your self-worth
36:10 — Michelle’s million butlers and the burden of managing others
42:00 — Learning to trust each other with boundaries
47:30 — What healthy fences actually give you
50:00 — You can love people and still hand them a mint across the fence

Boundaries are messy. But boundaries are also healing. If this episode resonated, send it to someone you’ve shared a fence with (literally or emotionally). And don’t forget to follow or subscribe so you catch next week’s episode: “Dancing Through the Day”, where we talk about ADHD-friendly hacks for adulting that don’t suck.

ADHD, emotional boundaries, inner child, neurodivergent relationships, burnout, masking, people pleasing, house/yard metaphor, Tamara Rosier, Your Brain is Not Broken, radical acceptance, self-worth, neurospicy women