Ep. 86 — Parenting Complex Kids with ADHD: Breaking Free from “Shoulds”

Parents worry about the future for their kids, but the ‘shoulds’ only disconnect us from what really matters.In this episode, we kick off The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD by Elaine Taylor-Klaus. Michelle and Megan dive into the first chapter, exploring how “shoulds” dominate both parenting and self-talk, and how reframing these expectations can transform relationships. They share vulnerable moments from their own experiences: Michelle’s parenting challenges with Josh, Megan’s reflections on growing up neurodivergent, and the grace their mom gave us by loving who they were without shame. Along the way, they unpack how sleep, pain, and disrupted routines impact emotional regulation, and how curiosity can replace desperation when navigating complex needs.favorite line from the episode: "You, yourself know your kid, the best “[00:00:00] Welcome, community shout-outs, and new structure for the podcast[00:02:00] Megan’s journey toward confidence and co-producing the show[00:05:00] Introducing The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids by Elaine Taylor-Klaus[00:07:00] Why “shoulds” are damaging for kids and parents alike[00:10:00] Disability, disadvantage, and reframing ADHD in a neurotypical world[00:17:00] Six challenge areas for complex kids — starting with emotional management[00:23:00] Parenting language, micro-triggers, and navigating daily routines[00:33:00] Michelle’s early parenting memories with Josh and the “loving chair”[00:37:00] Rosey reflects on our mom’s acceptance despite limited resources[00:50:00] How sleep, pain, and routine disruptions derail regulation[01:00:00] Repairing in the moment and choosing curiosity over desperation[01:05:00] Wrapping up: parenting as relationship, community feedback, and radical acceptanceIf you’ve ever struggled with the weight of “shoulds” in parenting or self-talk, this episode is for you. Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions. We love hearing from you! And if you’re enjoying the show, leaving a review helps other neurospicy folks find their way here too.ADHD parenting, complex kids, neurodiversity, parenting with ADHD, emotional regulation, ADHD podcast, ADHD women, radical acceptance, parenting challenges, reparenting inner child