ADHDifference - ADHD & PARENTING + guest Dana Baker-Williams

Host Julie Legg speaks with ADHD and anxiety coach Dana Baker-Williams about the complexities of parenting neurodivergent children. Dana, who has ADHD herself, shares her personal journey and emphasizes that while traits may manifest differently in each child, there are common struggles with ADHD and parenting. 

Parents, she explains, play a crucial role in helping their children navigate these challenges, but they must also prioritize their own well-being. Self-care, even in small doses, is essential to maintaining balance in a household where emotions can run high. Ultimately, Dana’s message is one of empowerment: when parents understand and embrace their child’s unique wiring, they can approach challenges with patience, adaptability, and grace​.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Self-Care for Parents is Crucial: Parents with ADHD (or those managing ADHD in their children) must prioritize their own well-being. Parents set the tone for their household; if they are overwhelmed, their children will likely struggle too.
• Routines Reduce Anxiety: Establishing structured routines benefits both parents and children with ADHD. Predictability lowers anxiety by eliminating uncertainty.
• Externalizing Systems Helps with Memory and Organization: ADHD brains struggle with working memory and time perception. Keeping information visible prevents the “out of sight, out of mind” problem.
• Validation and Emotional Regulation: Parents should focus on validating their child’s emotions rather than immediately trying to “fix” problems. Emotional dysregulation is common in ADHD, and learning to name emotions (“name it to tame it”) can help children process their feelings.
• ADHD and Anxiety are Interconnected: Many children with ADHD also experience anxiety, often due to repeated failures or difficulty meeting expectations. Routine, sleep, exercise, and breathing techniques can help manage both ADHD and anxiety.
• Handling Defiance and Frustration: What appears as defiance in ADHD children is often frustration due to difficulty with emotional regulation. Arguing with an ADHD child in a power struggle provides a dopamine rush, reinforcing the behaviour. Instead of engaging in arguments, parents should set firm boundaries and disengage calmly.
• Every Child Needs Different Support: "Fair" does not mean treating all children the same; it means giving each child what they need. ADHD children often struggle with social cues, maintaining friendships, and understanding expectations. Parents should consider what works best for their child rather than imposing neurotypical expectations.

LINKS

• Website: https://www.parentinginreallife.org/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentinreallife/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@parentinginreallife
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/parentinginreallife/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/parentinginreallife/

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• Julie Legg is the author of The Missing Piece: A Woman's Guide to Understanding, Diagnosing and Living with ADHD