In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with Kat Shahinian-Buffa to explore the layers of secrecy, grief, and reclamation embedded in kinship adoption. From being adopted the day she was born to uncovering that her sister is also her cousin through a DNA test, Kat walks us through her journey of survival, family deception, and international discovery. Together, they dig into the ways adoption alters identity, why even kinship adoption can be deeply harmful, and what it means to raise yourself.
In this episode, we cover:
- (00:20) Kat’s adoption story, growing up with five siblings, and being raised by her biological uncle’s wife.
- (06:54) Realizing the burden of being “chosen,” perfectionism, and being othered in her adoptive family.
- (17:37) How DNA tests blew open family secrets—including discovering her sister is also her cousin.
- (27:15) Why even kinship adoption isn’t inherently safer or healthier—and how it distorts medical history and relationships.
- (42:10) The long road to healing, mental health support, and raising yourself.
Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:
- Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
- Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
- BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
- TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
- Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack
Connect with Kat Shahinian-Buffa:
Instagram: @kadasarus
BlueSky: @kadasaurus.bsky.social
Work With Me:
Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries.
Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.