Adopted Twice: Kinship, Control, and the Cost of Silence

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with Kat Shahinian-Buffa to explore the layers of secrecy, grief, and reclamation embedded in kinship adoption. From being adopted the day she was born to uncovering that her sister is also her cousin through a DNA test, Kat walks us through her journey of survival, family deception, and international discovery. Together, they dig into the ways adoption alters identity, why even kinship adoption can be deeply harmful, and what it means to raise yourself.

In this episode, we cover:

• (00:20) Kat’s adoption story, growing up with five siblings, and being raised by her biological uncle’s wife.
• (06:54) Realizing the burden of being “chosen,” perfectionism, and being othered in her adoptive family.
• (17:37) How DNA tests blew open family secrets—including discovering her sister is also her cousin.
• (27:15) Why even kinship adoption isn’t inherently safer or healthier—and how it distorts medical history and relationships.
• (42:10) The long road to healing, mental health support, and raising yourself.

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Connect with Kat Shahinian-Buffa:
Instagram: @kadasarus
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Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [e-mail].