Barbara: The Clues that Led to Self-Discovery

Barbara was born in 1964 and although given up within the first week of life, she wasn’t ultimately adopted until she was 16 months old. She was never told why or where she was that first 16 months. While growing up Barbara occasionally asked about her biological mother. Her adoptive mother told her that she would never be able to find her, as the records in New York State were sealed. Barbara accepted that as fact, and never sought to look further. She lived with her adopted family until she was 18 years old and then her adoptive parents abruptly moved 1000 miles away. She had always had trouble fitting in at home and struggled socially, but when her adoptive parents left, those issues magnified and she was left wondering more and more about her past. Until she married at 28 years old and contemplated having children did she really begin to question her identity. 

Working for a financial firm in a Human Resources Department, Barbara managed her company’s blood drive. It was that day when she gave serious thought about her own bloodlines. She found the adoption agency and the representative shared a list of non-identifying information. And so began the long search for her biological mother. When she found her 2 years later, Barbara discovered that they lived only 20 blocks away from each other when she was growing up and only a town apart when she found her. That was the beginning of a long relationship they still have today. She has met her biological father, as well as extended family. 

Barbara considers herself blessed and has written a manuscript about the search, and her mother has edited the work. They both feel that they were meant to reunite after all those years apart, and live less than a mile apart today.

Season 11: Adoptee Memoirs - books in order:

Practically Still a Virgin by Monica Hall

You Can't Get Rid of Me by Jesse Scott and Keri Ault

Unspoken by Liz Harvie

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RESOURCES for Adoptees:

S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

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