Kate was born at a Florence Crittenton home in Kansas City, MO, in 1970 and placed with her adoptive family at 9 days old. She always knew she was adopted and has always wanted to find her family of origin. This was finally made possible when Missouri changed its laws allowing adopted people access to their original birth certificates. She has been in reunion with her mother since 2018, meeting her in person and getting a life-changing hug in 2019. That hug was the first time she had a feeling of being home. Kate is also in reunion with her father’s family, who have been welcoming.
Reunion has been beautiful, messy, painful, liberating, and the most life-impacting thing Kate has ever experienced. Finding her story and learning about her people, though sometimes painful, has been incredibly grounding, and she now feels like a real person.
While finding family has been an overall positive experience, some of the stories have been quite difficult. Her father went on a shooting spree, killing three people, including two police officers, and wounding several more before taking his own life in Harrisonville, MO, in 1972. As luck would have it, she had a chance encounter with an author while visiting his grave for the first time. The author was doing research for a book he was writing about her father. This encounter was instrumental in helping Kate find healing, as it led to factual information about what happened that day in 1972, as well as connections with some of her father’s friends, giving her an understanding of the kind of person he was beyond the story he is most remembered for.
Kate has been fortunate that her mother was willing to answer all of her questions, even though they were uncomfortable and seemed repetitive. This helped her to understand the decisions made by her grandparents.
Had things turned out differently and Kate remained with her natural parents, her name would have been Lisa Simpson, which makes her giggle.
The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small
Magic Mind - Use Code: MAKINGOFME
Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.
RESOURCES for Adoptees:
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova
Because She Was Adopted by Kristal Parke
Dear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika Rouda
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