March 6, 2025 • 36 mins
In this enlightening conversation, Attorney Bob Mannor interviews Dr. Michael Hession, a cardiologist who shares his profound near-death experience and the subsequent transformation in his life and practice. Dr. Hession discusses the importance of acknowledging and accepting one's health challenges, the impact of PTSD in medical contexts, and how his experience has made him a more empathetic physician. He emphasizes the need for proactive health management and the significance of family support during medical crises. The discussion culminates in Dr. Hession's insights on the importance of mindfulness and the philosophy of 'Acknowledge, Accept, Adapt' as a framework for dealing with life's challenges.
Episode highlights:
• Discusses Dr. Hession's background as a cardiologist
• Describes his near-death experience and its impact on his life
• Highlights the importance of family presence in healthcare
• Explores the concept of PTSD in patients experiencing critical health issues
• Introduces the philosophy of “Acknowledge, Accept, Adapt” for coping with illness
• Emphasizes the significance of self-advocacy in health management
Check out Dr. Hession's book, *Physician Heal Thyself, Nearly Dead: The Journey Back to Health* and his website at acknowledgeacceptadapt.com.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Attorney Bob Mannor (00:00):
You're listening to Advice from your
Advocates, a show where weprovide elder law advice to
professionals who work with theelderly and their families.
I'm really excited about ourguest today.
We've got Michael Heschen, acardiologist, and Michael,
welcome and thanks for joiningus.
Can you tell us a little aboutyourself?
Michael J. Hession, MD (00:18):
Sure.
Thank you for having me today.
Attorney mentor.
So my name is Michael Heschen.
I'm a practicing cardiologist.
I'm the medical director ofMedistrational Brigham Harbor in
the south shore of Boston.
I went to Boston College andthen to Dartmouth Medical School
.
I've been in practice since1985.
Life for me went quite welluntil the week of Christmas in
2013, when I developed what wasa and then it relentlessly went
(00:44):
downhill and resulted in anear-death experience and a
prolonged hospitalization and aneven longer recovery.
It led to a book that I wrote,physician Heal Thyself Nearly
Dead in the Journey Back toHealth, and it got me back to
work and doing what I love best.
Attorney Bob Mannor (01:02):
I want to repeat the name of that book,
because it's a reallyinteresting name Physician Heal,
Thyself Nearly Dead and theJourney Back to Health.
So tell us about thatexperience that inspired the
book.
Michael J. Hession, MD (01:12):
I was working as I normally do, about
60 hours a week and gettingready for the holidays, and I
developed a cough.
The week before Christmas gotworse.
I was seeing my primary caredoctor, started on some
antibiotics, got worse.
X-ray showed pneumonia but myvital signs were fine.
I changed up my medications butthings continued to
(01:33):
relentlessly go downhill and onNew Year's Eve, 2013, I woke
unable to breathe and my wifehad already been woken by my
labor of breathing, called 911.
I was brought to the hospitaland in the emergency room it was
pretty obvious to everybodythere that I was in deep trouble
.
Pneumonia had spread to bothlungs.
(01:55):
I had what's called acuterespiratory distress syndrome, I
think.
Recently it's been referred toas cytokine storm.
I was hypotensive, in shock.
I was intubated, started on lifesupport and things didn't get
better and it was recommendedI'd be transferred into a Boston
teaching hospital to be startedon ECMO, which is
(02:16):
extracorporeal oxidation, whichis essentially they take your
blood and pump it through anartificial lung and put it back
into your body because your ownlung's not working.
So I was sent to the Brighamand I was intubated on life
support for about 11 days.
It was really touch and go fora while there.
(02:36):
So when you're intubated, it'sa very uncomfortable procedure,
so you're given heavy sedatives,muscle relaxers and painkillers
to allow you to tolerate whatwould be otherwise intolerable.
I was aware I mean, I couldhear people talking around me
and, being a physician, I knewwhat the implications of what
the discussion was about myhealth, that it was not likely
(02:57):
that I was going to survive.
It was terrible, and beingintubated was probably the worst
experience I went through, oneof those experiences.
I didn't come back the way I didwith the previous experiences
and I felt myself drifting offand my body becoming cold, and I
could hear crying, mournfulcrying, and I couldn't really
(03:22):
tell where it was coming from.
And at some point I was able tosee it was my family crying and
I didn't understand what thatmeant.
And then the crying disappearedand it was at that point that I
realized the crying was from me, that I must be dead, and I
(03:46):
don't know how long I drifted.
There was really no sound, itwas just cold, black.
Then I became aware of a whitelight that I was being drawn
towards.
I got closer.
It was the appearance of awoman in white, shimmering robes
and she said Michael, it is notyour time, you must go back.
(04:07):
I didn't really know what thatmeant.
The next thing I knew, I heardmy wife speaking into my ear
telling me it was good news thatthe doctor said I was beginning
to respond to treatment.
That image has never reallyleft me.
I think that was something thatI couldn't explain, but it was
real.
Attorney Bob Mannor (04:26):
I've got a lot of questions about what you
were just going through, but themost important question is how
has that affected you?
Moving on, so you know, youdescribed a life that many of us
follow, where we work very hard, that we're working perhaps too
many hours, that we have thatdrive and ambition, and how has
(04:48):
this affected your life sincethat experience?
Excellent question.
Michael J. Hession, MD (04:53):
Well, it changed me profoundly.
I became much more aware of howprecious and how fleeting that
life is and that I probably wasspending more time working than
spending with my family anddoing things for my own
self-improvement.
So it led to, over time,rebalancing the work life and it
(05:14):
also surprisingly and this isreally hard to explain but I
didn't fear death.
I think death was kind of ascary thing for everybody.
For me it was, but after this Ididn't fear death.
I think death was kind of ascary thing for everybody.
For me it was, but after this Ididn't fear death.
I also became more empathetic inhow I listened to my patients.
(05:34):
The difference between empathyand sympathy is really quite a
lot, and I was able to find thatI was listening to my patients
more empathetically thansympathetically.
And as part of myrehabilitation I learned
meditation, specificallymindfulness meditation.
That really allowed me to betotally focused on my patient at
(05:56):
that time, not to be distractedby other phone calls or beeps
or other things, and if otherthings came up, I just noted
them and they went off to theside, but I was able to 100%
focus on what the issues werethat my patient was concerned
about.
So I think you know,surprisingly, the whole
experience made me a betterperson, a better physician, a
(06:19):
better husband, a better parentand a better person.
Attorney Bob Mannor (06:21):
I'm curious about how well.
First of all, I'm curious aboutyour experience as a patient,
being on the other side of itand your experience and how that
might have affected you a bit.
But really I'd like to learnmore about how you felt going
through that healthcare system,how you felt as a patient and,
if that you know what.
Was there anything that wassort of eye-opening or that you
(06:44):
experienced it in a differentway because you're now a patient
instead of the doctor?
Michael J. Hession, (06:49):
Absolutely .
Another great question.
As I said, I was aware eventhough I was intubated,
unresponsive, unable tocommunicate, I could hear other
people talking.
Two things that were reallyimportant.
One was my family was with meevery day.
They were allowed to stay withme 24 hours a day.
(07:09):
Their presence was sanitysaving.
They spoke to me every day,held my hand and comforted me.
When I first was in training inmedical school and in residency,
and first as a physician,families weren't really
encouraged to be in the ICUswith their loved ones.
(07:31):
Time was limited to 15 minutesand only certain hours of the
day.
Over time, patient-centeredmedical care became more of a
concept and the realization thathaving family members present
was important.
But I have to say I neverrealized how important it was
(07:53):
until I was on the other side ofthe bed.
The other thing that waseye-opening is how few of the
healthcare providers took timeto talk to me.
I think when you're intubated,unresponsive, unable to
communicate, it's very easy tothink that they can't hear or
they're unaware of what's goingon.
(08:20):
But I have to say I was quiteamazed at how aware I was and
how grateful I was when anybodytook the time to speak to me.
I had one nurse.
Every time she came on shewould introduce herself, tell me
what day it was, the time itwas, what was going to be
happening to me, and it was justso reassuring I can't emphasize
how much that meant to me.
In the morning, thephlebotomist come by early, like
5 am, to draw your blood soit's ready for when the staff
(08:41):
round on you and they wouldalways talk to me and say you're
going to emit all your blood,you're going to feel a little
pinch, and then they would sayI'm done and then they would
leave.
They're like ninjas coming inthe night and were there for
only a few minutes and they left.
Those interactions, reallytreating me as a sentient human
being were profound and I thinksome of the feedback that I've
(09:05):
gotten on people who've read thebook, particularly healthcare
providers.
They were actually amazed andshocked and chagrined at how
much people could hear andunderstand, how much awareness
there was, and I think it's ledto many of them changing how
they care for patients.
Attorney Bob Mannor (09:22):
Very interesting.
So many years ago, when I wasabout 40, I had a cardiac event
and I was in the ER and myexperience was very interesting.
As you know, you as a doctor,probably had a better
understanding and haveunderstood what was going on
around you a little bit better.
For me, even though I interactwith the medical field quite a
(09:42):
bit, I'm not a doctor and if youever want to see an ER staff
move fast, go in as a40-year-old with a cardiac event
, because everybody was runningaround and just circling and
everybody was talking and itjust was so much activity.
It was very overwhelming and Ifeel like that.
Well, that was my particularexperience.
(10:04):
I eventually got an ablationand everything's fine, but the
issue was that it was just sooverwhelming as a patient and
I'm interacting and I'madvocating for my clients and
advocating for their health careand it was just so much of a
unique experience being thepatient and how much the
activity that was going around,how when I moved from the ER to
(10:28):
a hospital room, everybodycoming in, everybody kind of
telling me what was going on,and on one hand, I can
understand what you're saying isthat interaction was positive.
For me it was overwhelmingbecause I had probably 30
different people describe mysymptoms to me over a span of
about two hours and that was alot to take in from that kind of
(10:52):
experience.
Having been as a cardiologist,I'm sure that you're kind of
used to the flow of the hospitaland the energy of the hospital,
but for someone that's notexperiencing that that can be
overwhelming too, I think.
Michael J. Hession, (11:05):
Absolutely .
It was overwhelming for me andI realized in retrospect how
overwhelming it must have beenfor many of my patients and it
gave me a deeper understandingof what they went through and I
think, as I said before, it mademe much more empathetic in
understanding what they've beenthrough and helping them discuss
the whole experience.
(11:28):
I talk in the book aboutcritical medical illness and
PTSD.
I think you know post-traumaticstress disorder is something
that wasn't even a concept whenI was in medical school.
It really wasn't until wellafter the Vietnam War that you
know there are the whole conceptof PTSD became a topic that
(11:50):
people really believed was atrue phenomenon.
I think you know in World WarII and World War I it was called
battle fatigue, shell shock,and they didn't know how to
treat it.
It was only after Vietnam thatthey began to develop some
insights into PTSD and I thinkit's still ongoing.
I think still people are tryingto understand PTSD and how to
(12:13):
treat it.
It's less understood that PTSDis something that can start to
feel symptoms of troublesleeping, anger, nightmares,
(12:33):
that they're probably part ofPTSD, and I think when people
can name something that they'refeeling, it goes a long way to
helping to solve the problem.
But I think there are ways nowthat are recognized that help
people deal with PTSD.
But as a patient, if you don'tknow what you're feeling, you
really don't know what to do andit can lead to what's happened
(12:54):
over the years with peoplewho've come back from wars or
people who've suffered violence,these symptoms and they
self-medicate with alcohol oropioids and it leads to a lot of
bad behavior and then itbecomes a whole different issue,
much more difficult to treat,because now you're dealing with
the downstream consequences ofunrecognized PTSD.
But I think anybody whosuffered critical medical
(13:17):
illness or even any severemedical illness they need to be
counseled that they begin tohave these feelings of you know,
experience trouble sleeping,nightmares or other signs and
symptoms of PTSD.
They need to speak to theirphysicians about it and get help
to deal with it.
I think when it's caught early,like anything, it's a lot more
(13:39):
treatable than if it's caughtlate and some of the red flag
behaviors of self-medicationbecome a bigger issue.
Attorney Bob Mannor (13:47):
You know that's very interesting and you
brought up the World War II andyou know we're.
You know we have fewer andfewer of our World War II
veterans with us anymore, butover the years that is something
that we've experienced whereWorld War II veterans in
particular and of course this istrue for any veteran, but World
War II veterans in particularwere often didn't seek out the
(14:10):
help and didn't, and especiallywhen there's benefits and things
like that to the VeteransAdministration, they didn't seek
.
That is something that I thinkprobably a lot of people
(14:35):
overlook, and so you hadmentioned.
The first step is to discuss itwith your doctor, perhaps get
some counseling.
Michael J. Hession, MD (14:42):
What are some of the triggers that might
trigger PTSD for somebody thatexperienced PTSD from a medical
event, and then what are theother things that they should be
doing to address that Well, Ithink, again, it's important to
instruct patients and theirfamilies that if the symptoms of
PTSD and there's a long, longlist of them start to become an
(15:04):
issue trouble sleeping, anxiety,anger, nightmares that it's not
of their mind, it's not them,it's really a consequence of
what they went through it's notunexpected to name it, to
normalize it and then to gethelp.
I think you know, for manyyears I had seen patients who
had cardiac arrests, heartattacks, have emergency bypass
(15:27):
surgery and come back andthey're healing and they're
having a lot of trouble withnightmares and trouble sleeping
and the primary care doctorswould just give them
benzodiazepine or something tohelp them to sleep and it really
wasn't dealing with the rootcause because really there
wasn't an awareness of this.
There still isn't, and that wasone of the big goals that I was
(15:49):
hoping to make is to reallyincrease the awareness that this
can happen to not only thepatients but the family members
of patients who've been throughcritical medical illness, as
well as the caregivers.
I mean it's been estimated thatclose to 20% of the healthcare
providers during the pandemichave dropped out of their fields
because of the trauma that theyexperienced.
(16:12):
It's very real, but I think youknow there isn't as global an
awareness of PTSD from somethinglike illness out there as there
is, say, with school shootingsor violence or war, but it's
very real and I think that it'svery important for people to
realize that these symptomsbegin to show up, that it's not
(16:33):
in their head, it's not aweakness, it's something that's
very real, it's something that'svery treatable and I think you
know my goal really during thesepodcasts and in my public
speaking and writing the book isto just really to normalize
this whole concept and to getpeople comfortable with talking
about it and getting thetreatment.
I think being a tough guy, beingmacho or this is all in your
(16:58):
head, you can get over it, snapout of it.
That's not the way to deal withit.
I think it really needs to benormalized and to be
acknowledged and to be treated,and I think the American College
of Family Medicine just adopteda policy advising all their
physicians that anybody who'scommitted to see them following
(17:18):
a hospitalization for criticalmedical illness should be
screened for signs and symptomsof PTSD.
So I think, incrementallythere's increasing awareness of
this, but it's not top of mindthe way it is with the school
shooting from combat veterans,but it's very, very real.
Attorney Bob Mannor (17:36):
I'm curious about.
With your experience.
It sounds like there was a lotof recovery that was necessary.
How long did it take you to goback to work, and did you
actually think about not goingback to work after that?
Michael J. Hession, MD (17:50):
Yes, excellent question.
Things were not a straight line.
As I said, after 11 plus daysof being on life support, I was
taken off and they put on a mask, called an iPad mask, which was
paired onto my chin and thenvery sturdy straps held it in
place just to force oxygen intomy lungs, which was severely
(18:11):
damaged.
And, um, you know, one night Iwas having trouble breathing and
my son was there and, uh,they'd given me a nurse call
button to push if I needed help.
But I couldn't move, I couldn'tuse the button, my hands were
useless, um, I couldn't activatethe call button, but my son was
there.
He saw that I was in distressand he called the nurse and the
(18:34):
physiatrist came and theytreated me and got me through it
and after a few more days, theywere able to switch me to just
oxygen for the nose and I wassent to rehabilitation with
oxygen.
And at nighttime what wouldhappen is I couldn't move, so I
was placed on my back and atnighttime, you know, my oxygen
(18:56):
level was a drop and the teamwould rush in turn on the lights
to be certain I was breathing.
This would happen every night,to the point that I just I was
afraid to sleep.
I was afraid I was going tostop breathing and it took a
long time to really get to thepoint where I could not be
afraid to sleep.
(19:16):
I was in inpatientrehabilitation for six weeks and
it was about 15 months orlonger before I was able to go
back to seeing patients.
I started slowly.
I wasn't really physicallystrong enough to see patients in
the hospital, so I had to giveup going to the hospital.
(19:37):
My practice is confined toseeing patients in the office.
But little by little I gainedstrength and built myself up to
working five days a week.
Things were going well until Ihad my second near-death
experience days a week.
Things were going well until Ihad my second near-death
experience, I had developed overthe years diverticulosis which
I didn't even know I had.
(19:57):
I had one episode ofdiverticulitis in the hospital
and a second episode ofdiverticulitis and that resulted
in an abscess.
I had to have IV antibiotics forsix weeks and then elective
surgery or urgent surgery toremove the abscess.
Everything seemed to go welluntil the anastomosis broke down
.
Part of the treatment for theARDS and the cytokine storm was
(20:20):
in high-dose steroids, which arethe only medicine that is shown
to help and there's no realtreatment for it, except
supportive.
But steroids impair healing andpredispose you to infection.
I woke up in pain and I said tomy wife you need to take me to
(20:41):
the hospital and on the waythere I began to lose
consciousness and by the time Igot to the hospital I was in
shock and I remember the intern,the resident, who was looking
at me.
He said is your blood pressurealways this low?
I said no and that was the lastthing I remember.
(21:02):
I woke up I think it was thenext day and I had an abdominal
catastrophe.
My anastomosis had broken down,my belly was filled with pus
and everything else and I had towash it out.
I had to have an ileostomy andthat was a low point for me.
(21:22):
Everything that I've been doinggetting stronger, doing
physical therapy, going topatient-to-patient physical
therapy, getting back to work.
Everything went back to squareone and not as long a recovery
from this, but I did manage tobuild myself back up and was
able to have ileostomy reversed.
I had to rebuild myself forphysical therapy and start back
(21:44):
again slowly to work, but Imanaged to do it and I'm I was
very focused.
Being a physician gave memeaning and purpose in life and
I really took strength in that.
Getting back to see my wife andmy family was important.
Getting back to seeing patientsgave me meaning and purpose and
I used those to motivate me toget through the physical therapy
(22:06):
and to do what I had to do toget stronger.
Attorney Bob Mannor (22:08):
I can imagine that that is very
important to have a purpose, tohave that passion, and, you know
, because it must be verydifficult to go and have to
rebuild your strength twice likethat.
How long was it between thosetwo events?
A little over a year.
Oh wow, so pretty closetogether too.
Yes, now you wrote the bookafter the second diverticulitis.
(22:31):
Then you wrote the book afterthe second, the Diverticulitis.
You wrote the book after that,or was it between the two?
Michael J. Hession, MD (22:35):
No, I actually didn't write the book
until January of the pandemic.
Attorney Bob Mannor (22:42):
Oh, wow, okay, that makes sense.
Michael J. Hession, MD (22:44):
When I was at the rehab, they had
recommended I keep a journal.
It was a practice I had startedwhen I was in high school.
It wasn't a diary really, justthat I had thoughts or
impressions.
I'd write them down.
Sometimes there'd be a sentence, sometimes there'd be a
paragraph.
I found those journals and Iwasn't quite sure what I was
going to do with them.
I was at home with nothing todo and I was watching the
(23:06):
television nonstop coverage ofthe pandemic and the horrors of
that.
There was one it coverage ofthe pandemic and the horrors of
that.
There was one.
It was a 60 Minutes editorialof a fellow who was intubated
along intubation for ARDS andcytokine storm and made it home
(23:27):
and was trying to rebuild hislife.
His son was a resident in NewYork at that time.
We just talk of the horror thatAt that time New York City was
the epicenter of the pandemicand I felt like I should be able
to do something.
And I realized physically Icouldn't do anything.
But I could tell my story ofwhat it's like to have ARDS,
(23:52):
cytokine storm and to surviveand to rebuild your life.
So I started to write the bookin January.
By that summer I had prettymuch written most of it.
I began working with an editorto make it into a narrative that
really people could relate to.
I purposely didn't want to makeit a very long book.
(24:15):
I wanted it to be readable, nota 300 or 400 page thing that no
one would be able to getthrough.
So it's only it's a short book,but it's concise.
I think the feedback has beenquite extraordinary.
I mean I've had people reachout to me.
It's been very overwhelming.
The response, reviews on AmazonGoodreads have been pretty
(24:36):
extraordinary and people havebeen just coming up to me and
just saying you know I reallyenjoyed your book.
I can't tell you how much itmeant to me and they would talk
about their experiences withtheir own personal illnesses or
loved ones and how it made sense.
I think it's having the desiredeffect.
I was recently asked to give aSchwartz rounds at a social
(25:00):
hospital in Baymouth,massachusetts.
Ken Schwartz was a lawyer inBoston In 1994, he got diagnosed
with lung cancer.
There was a smoker but he endedup dying in 1995.
But he set up this foundationto encourage people to find ways
(25:20):
to work with patients and theirfamilies compassionately and to
improve care, particularly careat the end of life, and they
picked my book to highlight thismeeting.
It was quite well attended and Ithink I was surprised at how
many people who really came upto me afterwards and sent me
notes as to just how powerfulthey found the book to be and
(25:45):
also my recounting of theexperience.
Attorney Bob Mannor (25:49):
And Dr Heshen, in addition to the book,
you also have a website.
I'm very interested in that.
Acknowledgeacceptadaptcom.
Tell us about the experience.
And, Dr Heshen, in addition tothe book, you also have a
website.
I'm very interested in that.
Acknowledgeacceptadaptcom.
Michael J. Hession, MD (25:58):
Tell us about the website.
Well, the acknowledge, acceptand adapt were.
Over the years of practicing, Irealized that I had to have a
message to my patients to helpthem to understand what was
going on Because, as you said inyour experience, it can be
pretty overwhelming and themedical terminology is very
(26:19):
arcane.
People don't understand it.
So I had to find my own way ofbeing able to relate to my
patients and discuss what theyhad, whether it was high blood
pressure, diabetes, heartdisease, arrhythmia.
So the first step you had toacknowledge what you had.
It's not easy to do, people areoverwhelmed, and so we would
(26:39):
talk about what the conditionwas and help them acknowledge it
and to be able to name it.
The second word accept.
People would get angry, denythat they had the problem, and I
would help them work throughthe importance of acceptance in
recovering from any illness orliving with any illness.
And the final one was adapt.
You had to really figure out away to move on.
(27:03):
Accept that you had the illness, don't get angry about it,
waste energy in fightingsomething that you can't win.
But to adapt, as my father saidto me many times growing up,
son, you have to play the cardyou dealt with in life to the
best of your ability, neverquite really fully understood
(27:25):
those words until I got older.
But it's really the people whocan acknowledge, accept and
adapt are the ones that do well.
And I saw that, you know, when Iwas in Spalding Hospital
Because I couldn't move, I hadGuillain-Barre as a complication
of the viral pneumonia.
They put me on the spinal cordfloor and there was one other
(27:45):
patient with Guillain-Barrerecovering from a pneumonia, and
the rest of the people wereparaplegic or quadriplegics, and
it was easy to see the patientsthat were making progress.
They were able to acknowledgewhat they had, accept it, not
get angry about it and find away to move forward.
And those are the patients thatdid well.
The patients that flounderedcouldn't do it.
(28:07):
They couldn't acknowledge,adapt together.
And it's, you know, when I wasthinking about how I could have
a website and help people toreally deal with whatever
they're experiencing isimportant.
It's important to acknowledge,accept and adapt, and so I use
that as the website because it'scrucial.
(28:27):
Everybody gets something.
I mean, no one gets throughlife without getting something
and you never see it coming.
For the most part, it nevercomes at the right time, and one
of the books that I read I reada lot, did a lot of reading
when I was recovering was a bookcalled the Ice Bucket Challenge
.
It was about a young man whowent to Boston College as I did
(28:50):
a few years later.
He was a baseball player and anexcellent baseball player.
Not good enough to make thepros, but he was a good baseball
player and he played semi-proafter he graduated and played in
a league for people who lovedbaseball.
At some point in his late 20she began to have trouble
fielding grounders and throwingthe ball accurately to get
(29:11):
somebody out at base and he wentto see a number of different
specialists and he was finallydiagnosed with Beirut disease
amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
It is pretty much a deathsentence.
There's no treatment for it.
There's very little researchbeing done.
It is considered an orphandisease because it affects so
(29:31):
few people.
Considered an orphan diseasebecause it affects so few people
.
But he was surprisinglyenergized.
He saw that this really gavehis life meaning and purpose,
that he was going to spend thetime he had remaining raising
awareness of ALS and fundraisingfor research, and by the time
(29:57):
he died he had raised over $200million and made ALS much more
of a household name and jumpedout of the research into this
disease and progress is beingmade.
So you know, he was a guy in his20s.
The prime of his life diagnosiswas three, four, maybe five
(30:19):
years before you die.
You're going to progressivelylose all your coordination, use
of your arms, your legs.
Eventually you can't even speak, you're confined to a
wheelchair.
Yet he was able to take thatdiagnosis and find meaning and
purpose in his life, acknowledge, accept and adapt, and to
(30:41):
really use his life to dosomething good.
And so I think it's possible,very possible, for anybody, no
matter what their situation isin life, if they're willing to
acknowledge, accept and adapt,to find a way forward, even when
a way forward isn't clear.
Name was Pete Frades.
Attorney Bob Mannor (30:59):
Pete Frades , you know that I really like
that phrase to acknowledge,accept and adapt.
We have a lot of my clients.
One of the things that we focuson is helping families that are
someone in their family thathave some form of dementia, and
that is very much.
Those three words are soimportant when it comes to
(31:19):
dementia because people tend tonot want to acknowledge this,
refuse to accept it, they tendto be in denial about it and,
instead of trying to adapt, theyjust kind of cocoon and don't
interact with others or seek outresources.
So I think that's a greatslogan, a great advice,
particularly for those familiesthat are experiencing a level of
(31:42):
some form of dementiaAcknowledge, accept and adapt
and there is still a potentialquality of life to be had, both
for the caregivers and the oneexperiencing the dementia,
whatever form of dementia theyhave.
So I just really like that.
I think that's a very not onlypositive acknowledgement but
(32:03):
also important that familiesreally try to do those three
things to advance really qualityof life, absolutely.
Michael J. Hession, MD (32:12):
I think you know I found that over the
years in caring for patients Imean pretty much everybody that
I saw had significant heartdisease, had heart attacks,
bypasses, serious arrhythmias,heart failure.
It was not a real cure.
There were treatments, but thepeople who did well were the
people that could reallyacknowledge their illness,
accept it, not get lost indenial or anger, and then find a
(32:36):
way to adapt, to move forward.
I saw many people who wouldcome in, be overweight smokers,
get religion.
They would lose weight, quitsmoking, start exercising and
really turn their lives around.
And I think it's possible.
I think there are very fewthings we cure.
We have treatments, some betterthan others.
(32:57):
Dementia we're seeing more andmore of it as people live longer
and we're able to control theirother medical problems and
they're living long enough toget dementia.
But I think you're absolutelyright, they can get to
acknowledge their illness andtheir family members to
acknowledge the illness, acceptthat it's an illness just like
any other illness and adapt.
(33:18):
You can enjoy life, do thingswhile you're able to, but at
some point in life somethinggets all of us.
You can't give up, you can'tget angry.
Child doesn't really help atall.
And the people that can harnessall three of those knowledge,
accept and adapt.
They're the ones that are goingto be happy.
Their lives will have meaningand purpose and their families
(33:40):
will be at peace with the wholeexperience.
Attorney Bob Mannor (33:42):
Dr Michael Heschen.
This has been such an importantconversation.
I very much appreciate and Iknow our listeners are going to
appreciate this Any takeaways,any key takeaways that you want
to leave our listeners with.
Michael J. Hession, MD (33:55):
I think that if you're not feeling well
and you know something is notright, don't ignore it.
Get seen, don't be afraid totalk about it.
I think suffering in silence ortrying to tough it out is
really not going to help you,and I think that it's the
willingness to basicallyacknowledge that something is
(34:16):
not right and to get help is howyou will overcome whatever life
issue you're going through.
It sounds simple, it's notsimple and it's not easy it's
not simple.
It's great advice, though, but Ithink if something doesn't feel
right, you need to take thetime and make the effort to get
seen and to be persistent.
But I think listening to yourbody and advocating for yourself
(34:40):
and having loved ones advocatefor you and also I think as we
age, it's important to haveadvanced directives, have
healthcare proxies, because lifehappens and we all do die and
it's unpredictable as to whatevent's going to cause it or
when it's going to happen.
But if you take the time tomake your wishes known and to
(35:01):
see your attorney and haveevents directives and a living
will made out, it'll help yourloved ones navigate what can be
a very difficult time.
Being proactive is veryimportant.
Attorney Bob Mannor (35:12):
Well, thank you for this great advice.
Check out Dr Heshen's book thePhysician Healed Myself Nearly
Dead and the Journey Back toHealth, and also the website
acknowledge, accept and adaptcom.
I highly recommend checking outboth of those.
If you enjoyed this podcast andyou'd like to know when there's
going to be another advice fromyour advocates, feel free to
(35:34):
subscribe at any of the placesthat you listen to podcasts, or
you can go to YouTube or ourwebsite at manorlawgroupcom, and
you can sign up or register foror subscribe to the podcast.
But thanks for listening and wewill talk to you next time.
Thanks for listening and wewill talk to you next time.
(35:59):
Thanks for listening.
To learn more, visitmanorlawgroupcom.
You're listening to Advice from your
Advocates, a show where weprovide elder law advice to
professionals who work with theelderly and their families.
I'm really excited about ourguest today.
We've got Michael Heschen, acardiologist, and Michael,
welcome and thanks for joiningus.
Can you tell us a little aboutyourself?
Michael J. Hession, MD (00:18):
Sure.
Thank you for having me today.
Attorney mentor.
So my name is Michael Heschen.
I'm a practicing cardiologist.
I'm the medical director ofMedistrational Brigham Harbor in
the south shore of Boston.
I went to Boston College andthen to Dartmouth Medical School
.
I've been in practice since1985.
Life for me went quite welluntil the week of Christmas in
2013, when I developed what wasa and then it relentlessly went
(00:44):
downhill and resulted in anear-death experience and a
prolonged hospitalization and aneven longer recovery.
It led to a book that I wrote,physician Heal Thyself Nearly
Dead in the Journey Back toHealth, and it got me back to
work and doing what I love best.
Attorney Bob Mannor (01:02):
I want to repeat the name of that book,
because it's a reallyinteresting name Physician Heal,
Thyself Nearly Dead and theJourney Back to Health.
So tell us about thatexperience that inspired the
book.
Michael J. Hession, MD (01:12):
I was working as I normally do, about
60 hours a week and gettingready for the holidays, and I
developed a cough.
The week before Christmas gotworse.
I was seeing my primary caredoctor, started on some
antibiotics, got worse.
X-ray showed pneumonia but myvital signs were fine.
I changed up my medications butthings continued to
(01:33):
relentlessly go downhill and onNew Year's Eve, 2013, I woke
unable to breathe and my wifehad already been woken by my
labor of breathing, called 911.
I was brought to the hospitaland in the emergency room it was
pretty obvious to everybodythere that I was in deep trouble
.
Pneumonia had spread to bothlungs.
(01:55):
I had what's called acuterespiratory distress syndrome, I
think.
Recently it's been referred toas cytokine storm.
I was hypotensive, in shock.
I was intubated, started on lifesupport and things didn't get
better and it was recommendedI'd be transferred into a Boston
teaching hospital to be startedon ECMO, which is
(02:16):
extracorporeal oxidation, whichis essentially they take your
blood and pump it through anartificial lung and put it back
into your body because your ownlung's not working.
So I was sent to the Brighamand I was intubated on life
support for about 11 days.
It was really touch and go fora while there.
(02:36):
So when you're intubated, it'sa very uncomfortable procedure,
so you're given heavy sedatives,muscle relaxers and painkillers
to allow you to tolerate whatwould be otherwise intolerable.
I was aware I mean, I couldhear people talking around me
and, being a physician, I knewwhat the implications of what
the discussion was about myhealth, that it was not likely
(02:57):
that I was going to survive.
It was terrible, and beingintubated was probably the worst
experience I went through, oneof those experiences.
I didn't come back the way I didwith the previous experiences
and I felt myself drifting offand my body becoming cold, and I
could hear crying, mournfulcrying, and I couldn't really
(03:22):
tell where it was coming from.
And at some point I was able tosee it was my family crying and
I didn't understand what thatmeant.
And then the crying disappearedand it was at that point that I
realized the crying was from me, that I must be dead, and I
(03:46):
don't know how long I drifted.
There was really no sound, itwas just cold, black.
Then I became aware of a whitelight that I was being drawn
towards.
I got closer.
It was the appearance of awoman in white, shimmering robes
and she said Michael, it is notyour time, you must go back.
(04:07):
I didn't really know what thatmeant.
The next thing I knew, I heardmy wife speaking into my ear
telling me it was good news thatthe doctor said I was beginning
to respond to treatment.
That image has never reallyleft me.
I think that was something thatI couldn't explain, but it was
real.
Attorney Bob Mannor (04:26):
I've got a lot of questions about what you
were just going through, but themost important question is how
has that affected you?
Moving on, so you know, youdescribed a life that many of us
follow, where we work very hard, that we're working perhaps too
many hours, that we have thatdrive and ambition, and how has
(04:48):
this affected your life sincethat experience?
Excellent question.
Michael J. Hession, MD (04:53):
Well, it changed me profoundly.
I became much more aware of howprecious and how fleeting that
life is and that I probably wasspending more time working than
spending with my family anddoing things for my own
self-improvement.
So it led to, over time,rebalancing the work life and it
(05:14):
also surprisingly and this isreally hard to explain but I
didn't fear death.
I think death was kind of ascary thing for everybody.
For me it was, but after this Ididn't fear death.
I think death was kind of ascary thing for everybody.
For me it was, but after this Ididn't fear death.
I also became more empathetic inhow I listened to my patients.
(05:34):
The difference between empathyand sympathy is really quite a
lot, and I was able to find thatI was listening to my patients
more empathetically thansympathetically.
And as part of myrehabilitation I learned
meditation, specificallymindfulness meditation.
That really allowed me to betotally focused on my patient at
(05:56):
that time, not to be distractedby other phone calls or beeps
or other things, and if otherthings came up, I just noted
them and they went off to theside, but I was able to 100%
focus on what the issues werethat my patient was concerned
about.
So I think you know,surprisingly, the whole
experience made me a betterperson, a better physician, a
(06:19):
better husband, a better parentand a better person.
Attorney Bob Mannor (06:21):
I'm curious about how well.
First of all, I'm curious aboutyour experience as a patient,
being on the other side of itand your experience and how that
might have affected you a bit.
But really I'd like to learnmore about how you felt going
through that healthcare system,how you felt as a patient and,
if that you know what.
Was there anything that wassort of eye-opening or that you
(06:44):
experienced it in a differentway because you're now a patient
instead of the doctor?
Michael J. Hession, (06:49):
Absolutely .
Another great question.
As I said, I was aware eventhough I was intubated,
unresponsive, unable tocommunicate, I could hear other
people talking.
Two things that were reallyimportant.
One was my family was with meevery day.
They were allowed to stay withme 24 hours a day.
(07:09):
Their presence was sanitysaving.
They spoke to me every day,held my hand and comforted me.
When I first was in training inmedical school and in residency,
and first as a physician,families weren't really
encouraged to be in the ICUswith their loved ones.
(07:31):
Time was limited to 15 minutesand only certain hours of the
day.
Over time, patient-centeredmedical care became more of a
concept and the realization thathaving family members present
was important.
But I have to say I neverrealized how important it was
(07:53):
until I was on the other side ofthe bed.
The other thing that waseye-opening is how few of the
healthcare providers took timeto talk to me.
I think when you're intubated,unresponsive, unable to
communicate, it's very easy tothink that they can't hear or
they're unaware of what's goingon.
(08:20):
But I have to say I was quiteamazed at how aware I was and
how grateful I was when anybodytook the time to speak to me.
I had one nurse.
Every time she came on shewould introduce herself, tell me
what day it was, the time itwas, what was going to be
happening to me, and it was justso reassuring I can't emphasize
how much that meant to me.
In the morning, thephlebotomist come by early, like
5 am, to draw your blood soit's ready for when the staff
(08:41):
round on you and they wouldalways talk to me and say you're
going to emit all your blood,you're going to feel a little
pinch, and then they would sayI'm done and then they would
leave.
They're like ninjas coming inthe night and were there for
only a few minutes and they left.
Those interactions, reallytreating me as a sentient human
being were profound and I thinksome of the feedback that I've
(09:05):
gotten on people who've read thebook, particularly healthcare
providers.
They were actually amazed andshocked and chagrined at how
much people could hear andunderstand, how much awareness
there was, and I think it's ledto many of them changing how
they care for patients.
Attorney Bob Mannor (09:22):
Very interesting.
So many years ago, when I wasabout 40, I had a cardiac event
and I was in the ER and myexperience was very interesting.
As you know, you as a doctor,probably had a better
understanding and haveunderstood what was going on
around you a little bit better.
For me, even though I interactwith the medical field quite a
(09:42):
bit, I'm not a doctor and if youever want to see an ER staff
move fast, go in as a40-year-old with a cardiac event
, because everybody was runningaround and just circling and
everybody was talking and itjust was so much activity.
It was very overwhelming and Ifeel like that.
Well, that was my particularexperience.
(10:04):
I eventually got an ablationand everything's fine, but the
issue was that it was just sooverwhelming as a patient and
I'm interacting and I'madvocating for my clients and
advocating for their health careand it was just so much of a
unique experience being thepatient and how much the
activity that was going around,how when I moved from the ER to
(10:28):
a hospital room, everybodycoming in, everybody kind of
telling me what was going on,and on one hand, I can
understand what you're saying isthat interaction was positive.
For me it was overwhelmingbecause I had probably 30
different people describe mysymptoms to me over a span of
about two hours and that was alot to take in from that kind of
(10:52):
experience.
Having been as a cardiologist,I'm sure that you're kind of
used to the flow of the hospitaland the energy of the hospital,
but for someone that's notexperiencing that that can be
overwhelming too, I think.
Michael J. Hession, (11:05):
Absolutely .
It was overwhelming for me andI realized in retrospect how
overwhelming it must have beenfor many of my patients and it
gave me a deeper understandingof what they went through and I
think, as I said before, it mademe much more empathetic in
understanding what they've beenthrough and helping them discuss
the whole experience.
(11:28):
I talk in the book aboutcritical medical illness and
PTSD.
I think you know post-traumaticstress disorder is something
that wasn't even a concept whenI was in medical school.
It really wasn't until wellafter the Vietnam War that you
know there are the whole conceptof PTSD became a topic that
(11:50):
people really believed was atrue phenomenon.
I think you know in World WarII and World War I it was called
battle fatigue, shell shock,and they didn't know how to
treat it.
It was only after Vietnam thatthey began to develop some
insights into PTSD and I thinkit's still ongoing.
I think still people are tryingto understand PTSD and how to
(12:13):
treat it.
It's less understood that PTSDis something that can start to
feel symptoms of troublesleeping, anger, nightmares,
(12:33):
that they're probably part ofPTSD, and I think when people
can name something that they'refeeling, it goes a long way to
helping to solve the problem.
But I think there are ways nowthat are recognized that help
people deal with PTSD.
But as a patient, if you don'tknow what you're feeling, you
really don't know what to do andit can lead to what's happened
(12:54):
over the years with peoplewho've come back from wars or
people who've suffered violence,these symptoms and they
self-medicate with alcohol oropioids and it leads to a lot of
bad behavior and then itbecomes a whole different issue,
much more difficult to treat,because now you're dealing with
the downstream consequences ofunrecognized PTSD.
But I think anybody whosuffered critical medical
(13:17):
illness or even any severemedical illness they need to be
counseled that they begin tohave these feelings of you know,
experience trouble sleeping,nightmares or other signs and
symptoms of PTSD.
They need to speak to theirphysicians about it and get help
to deal with it.
I think when it's caught early,like anything, it's a lot more
(13:39):
treatable than if it's caughtlate and some of the red flag
behaviors of self-medicationbecome a bigger issue.
Attorney Bob Mannor (13:47):
You know that's very interesting and you
brought up the World War II andyou know we're.
You know we have fewer andfewer of our World War II
veterans with us anymore, butover the years that is something
that we've experienced whereWorld War II veterans in
particular and of course this istrue for any veteran, but World
War II veterans in particularwere often didn't seek out the
(14:10):
help and didn't, and especiallywhen there's benefits and things
like that to the VeteransAdministration, they didn't seek
.
That is something that I thinkprobably a lot of people
(14:35):
overlook, and so you hadmentioned.
The first step is to discuss itwith your doctor, perhaps get
some counseling.
Michael J. Hession, MD (14:42):
What are some of the triggers that might
trigger PTSD for somebody thatexperienced PTSD from a medical
event, and then what are theother things that they should be
doing to address that Well, Ithink, again, it's important to
instruct patients and theirfamilies that if the symptoms of
PTSD and there's a long, longlist of them start to become an
(15:04):
issue trouble sleeping, anxiety,anger, nightmares that it's not
of their mind, it's not them,it's really a consequence of
what they went through it's notunexpected to name it, to
normalize it and then to gethelp.
I think you know, for manyyears I had seen patients who
had cardiac arrests, heartattacks, have emergency bypass
(15:27):
surgery and come back andthey're healing and they're
having a lot of trouble withnightmares and trouble sleeping
and the primary care doctorswould just give them
benzodiazepine or something tohelp them to sleep and it really
wasn't dealing with the rootcause because really there
wasn't an awareness of this.
There still isn't, and that wasone of the big goals that I was
(15:49):
hoping to make is to reallyincrease the awareness that this
can happen to not only thepatients but the family members
of patients who've been throughcritical medical illness, as
well as the caregivers.
I mean it's been estimated thatclose to 20% of the healthcare
providers during the pandemichave dropped out of their fields
because of the trauma that theyexperienced.
(16:12):
It's very real, but I think youknow there isn't as global an
awareness of PTSD from somethinglike illness out there as there
is, say, with school shootingsor violence or war, but it's
very real and I think that it'svery important for people to
realize that these symptomsbegin to show up, that it's not
(16:33):
in their head, it's not aweakness, it's something that's
very real, it's something that'svery treatable and I think you
know my goal really during thesepodcasts and in my public
speaking and writing the book isto just really to normalize
this whole concept and to getpeople comfortable with talking
about it and getting thetreatment.
I think being a tough guy, beingmacho or this is all in your
(16:58):
head, you can get over it, snapout of it.
That's not the way to deal withit.
I think it really needs to benormalized and to be
acknowledged and to be treated,and I think the American College
of Family Medicine just adopteda policy advising all their
physicians that anybody who'scommitted to see them following
(17:18):
a hospitalization for criticalmedical illness should be
screened for signs and symptomsof PTSD.
So I think, incrementallythere's increasing awareness of
this, but it's not top of mindthe way it is with the school
shooting from combat veterans,but it's very, very real.
Attorney Bob Mannor (17:36):
I'm curious about.
With your experience.
It sounds like there was a lotof recovery that was necessary.
How long did it take you to goback to work, and did you
actually think about not goingback to work after that?
Michael J. Hession, MD (17:50):
Yes, excellent question.
Things were not a straight line.
As I said, after 11 plus daysof being on life support, I was
taken off and they put on a mask, called an iPad mask, which was
paired onto my chin and thenvery sturdy straps held it in
place just to force oxygen intomy lungs, which was severely
(18:11):
damaged.
And, um, you know, one night Iwas having trouble breathing and
my son was there and, uh,they'd given me a nurse call
button to push if I needed help.
But I couldn't move, I couldn'tuse the button, my hands were
useless, um, I couldn't activatethe call button, but my son was
there.
He saw that I was in distressand he called the nurse and the
(18:34):
physiatrist came and theytreated me and got me through it
and after a few more days, theywere able to switch me to just
oxygen for the nose and I wassent to rehabilitation with
oxygen.
And at nighttime what wouldhappen is I couldn't move, so I
was placed on my back and atnighttime, you know, my oxygen
(18:56):
level was a drop and the teamwould rush in turn on the lights
to be certain I was breathing.
This would happen every night,to the point that I just I was
afraid to sleep.
I was afraid I was going tostop breathing and it took a
long time to really get to thepoint where I could not be
afraid to sleep.
(19:16):
I was in inpatientrehabilitation for six weeks and
it was about 15 months orlonger before I was able to go
back to seeing patients.
I started slowly.
I wasn't really physicallystrong enough to see patients in
the hospital, so I had to giveup going to the hospital.
(19:37):
My practice is confined toseeing patients in the office.
But little by little I gainedstrength and built myself up to
working five days a week.
Things were going well until Ihad my second near-death
experience days a week.
Things were going well until Ihad my second near-death
experience, I had developed overthe years diverticulosis which
I didn't even know I had.
(19:57):
I had one episode ofdiverticulitis in the hospital
and a second episode ofdiverticulitis and that resulted
in an abscess.
I had to have IV antibiotics forsix weeks and then elective
surgery or urgent surgery toremove the abscess.
Everything seemed to go welluntil the anastomosis broke down
.
Part of the treatment for theARDS and the cytokine storm was
(20:20):
in high-dose steroids, which arethe only medicine that is shown
to help and there's no realtreatment for it, except
supportive.
But steroids impair healing andpredispose you to infection.
I woke up in pain and I said tomy wife you need to take me to
(20:41):
the hospital and on the waythere I began to lose
consciousness and by the time Igot to the hospital I was in
shock and I remember the intern,the resident, who was looking
at me.
He said is your blood pressurealways this low?
I said no and that was the lastthing I remember.
(21:02):
I woke up I think it was thenext day and I had an abdominal
catastrophe.
My anastomosis had broken down,my belly was filled with pus
and everything else and I had towash it out.
I had to have an ileostomy andthat was a low point for me.
(21:22):
Everything that I've been doinggetting stronger, doing
physical therapy, going topatient-to-patient physical
therapy, getting back to work.
Everything went back to squareone and not as long a recovery
from this, but I did manage tobuild myself back up and was
able to have ileostomy reversed.
I had to rebuild myself forphysical therapy and start back
(21:44):
again slowly to work, but Imanaged to do it and I'm I was
very focused.
Being a physician gave memeaning and purpose in life and
I really took strength in that.
Getting back to see my wife andmy family was important.
Getting back to seeing patientsgave me meaning and purpose and
I used those to motivate me toget through the physical therapy
(22:06):
and to do what I had to do toget stronger.
Attorney Bob Mannor (22:08):
I can imagine that that is very
important to have a purpose, tohave that passion, and, you know
, because it must be verydifficult to go and have to
rebuild your strength twice likethat.
How long was it between thosetwo events?
A little over a year.
Oh wow, so pretty closetogether too.
Yes, now you wrote the bookafter the second diverticulitis.
(22:31):
Then you wrote the book afterthe second, the Diverticulitis.
You wrote the book after that,or was it between the two?
Michael J. Hession, MD (22:35):
No, I actually didn't write the book
until January of the pandemic.
Attorney Bob Mannor (22:42):
Oh, wow, okay, that makes sense.
Michael J. Hession, MD (22:44):
When I was at the rehab, they had
recommended I keep a journal.
It was a practice I had startedwhen I was in high school.
It wasn't a diary really, justthat I had thoughts or
impressions.
I'd write them down.
Sometimes there'd be a sentence, sometimes there'd be a
paragraph.
I found those journals and Iwasn't quite sure what I was
going to do with them.
I was at home with nothing todo and I was watching the
(23:06):
television nonstop coverage ofthe pandemic and the horrors of
that.
There was one it coverage ofthe pandemic and the horrors of
that.
There was one.
It was a 60 Minutes editorialof a fellow who was intubated
along intubation for ARDS andcytokine storm and made it home
(23:27):
and was trying to rebuild hislife.
His son was a resident in NewYork at that time.
We just talk of the horror thatAt that time New York City was
the epicenter of the pandemicand I felt like I should be able
to do something.
And I realized physically Icouldn't do anything.
But I could tell my story ofwhat it's like to have ARDS,
(23:52):
cytokine storm and to surviveand to rebuild your life.
So I started to write the bookin January.
By that summer I had prettymuch written most of it.
I began working with an editorto make it into a narrative that
really people could relate to.
I purposely didn't want to makeit a very long book.
(24:15):
I wanted it to be readable, nota 300 or 400 page thing that no
one would be able to getthrough.
So it's only it's a short book,but it's concise.
I think the feedback has beenquite extraordinary.
I mean I've had people reachout to me.
It's been very overwhelming.
The response, reviews on AmazonGoodreads have been pretty
(24:36):
extraordinary and people havebeen just coming up to me and
just saying you know I reallyenjoyed your book.
I can't tell you how much itmeant to me and they would talk
about their experiences withtheir own personal illnesses or
loved ones and how it made sense.
I think it's having the desiredeffect.
I was recently asked to give aSchwartz rounds at a social
(25:00):
hospital in Baymouth,massachusetts.
Ken Schwartz was a lawyer inBoston In 1994, he got diagnosed
with lung cancer.
There was a smoker but he endedup dying in 1995.
But he set up this foundationto encourage people to find ways
(25:20):
to work with patients and theirfamilies compassionately and to
improve care, particularly careat the end of life, and they
picked my book to highlight thismeeting.
It was quite well attended and Ithink I was surprised at how
many people who really came upto me afterwards and sent me
notes as to just how powerfulthey found the book to be and
(25:45):
also my recounting of theexperience.
Attorney Bob Mannor (25:49):
And Dr Heshen, in addition to the book,
you also have a website.
I'm very interested in that.
Acknowledgeacceptadaptcom.
Tell us about the experience.
And, Dr Heshen, in addition tothe book, you also have a
website.
I'm very interested in that.
Acknowledgeacceptadaptcom.
Michael J. Hession, MD (25:58):
Tell us about the website.
Well, the acknowledge, acceptand adapt were.
Over the years of practicing, Irealized that I had to have a
message to my patients to helpthem to understand what was
going on Because, as you said inyour experience, it can be
pretty overwhelming and themedical terminology is very
(26:19):
arcane.
People don't understand it.
So I had to find my own way ofbeing able to relate to my
patients and discuss what theyhad, whether it was high blood
pressure, diabetes, heartdisease, arrhythmia.
So the first step you had toacknowledge what you had.
It's not easy to do, people areoverwhelmed, and so we would
(26:39):
talk about what the conditionwas and help them acknowledge it
and to be able to name it.
The second word accept.
People would get angry, denythat they had the problem, and I
would help them work throughthe importance of acceptance in
recovering from any illness orliving with any illness.
And the final one was adapt.
You had to really figure out away to move on.
(27:03):
Accept that you had the illness, don't get angry about it,
waste energy in fightingsomething that you can't win.
But to adapt, as my father saidto me many times growing up,
son, you have to play the cardyou dealt with in life to the
best of your ability, neverquite really fully understood
(27:25):
those words until I got older.
But it's really the people whocan acknowledge, accept and
adapt are the ones that do well.
And I saw that, you know, when Iwas in Spalding Hospital
Because I couldn't move, I hadGuillain-Barre as a complication
of the viral pneumonia.
They put me on the spinal cordfloor and there was one other
(27:45):
patient with Guillain-Barrerecovering from a pneumonia, and
the rest of the people wereparaplegic or quadriplegics, and
it was easy to see the patientsthat were making progress.
They were able to acknowledgewhat they had, accept it, not
get angry about it and find away to move forward.
And those are the patients thatdid well.
The patients that flounderedcouldn't do it.
(28:07):
They couldn't acknowledge,adapt together.
And it's, you know, when I wasthinking about how I could have
a website and help people toreally deal with whatever
they're experiencing isimportant.
It's important to acknowledge,accept and adapt, and so I use
that as the website because it'scrucial.
(28:27):
Everybody gets something.
I mean, no one gets throughlife without getting something
and you never see it coming.
For the most part, it nevercomes at the right time, and one
of the books that I read I reada lot, did a lot of reading
when I was recovering was a bookcalled the Ice Bucket Challenge
.
It was about a young man whowent to Boston College as I did
(28:50):
a few years later.
He was a baseball player and anexcellent baseball player.
Not good enough to make thepros, but he was a good baseball
player and he played semi-proafter he graduated and played in
a league for people who lovedbaseball.
At some point in his late 20she began to have trouble
fielding grounders and throwingthe ball accurately to get
(29:11):
somebody out at base and he wentto see a number of different
specialists and he was finallydiagnosed with Beirut disease
amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
It is pretty much a deathsentence.
There's no treatment for it.
There's very little researchbeing done.
It is considered an orphandisease because it affects so
(29:31):
few people.
Considered an orphan diseasebecause it affects so few people
.
But he was surprisinglyenergized.
He saw that this really gavehis life meaning and purpose,
that he was going to spend thetime he had remaining raising
awareness of ALS and fundraisingfor research, and by the time
(29:57):
he died he had raised over $200million and made ALS much more
of a household name and jumpedout of the research into this
disease and progress is beingmade.
So you know, he was a guy in his20s.
The prime of his life diagnosiswas three, four, maybe five
(30:19):
years before you die.
You're going to progressivelylose all your coordination, use
of your arms, your legs.
Eventually you can't even speak, you're confined to a
wheelchair.
Yet he was able to take thatdiagnosis and find meaning and
purpose in his life, acknowledge, accept and adapt, and to
(30:41):
really use his life to dosomething good.
And so I think it's possible,very possible, for anybody, no
matter what their situation isin life, if they're willing to
acknowledge, accept and adapt,to find a way forward, even when
a way forward isn't clear.
Name was Pete Frades.
Attorney Bob Mannor (30:59):
Pete Frades , you know that I really like
that phrase to acknowledge,accept and adapt.
We have a lot of my clients.
One of the things that we focuson is helping families that are
someone in their family thathave some form of dementia, and
that is very much.
Those three words are soimportant when it comes to
(31:19):
dementia because people tend tonot want to acknowledge this,
refuse to accept it, they tendto be in denial about it and,
instead of trying to adapt, theyjust kind of cocoon and don't
interact with others or seek outresources.
So I think that's a greatslogan, a great advice,
particularly for those familiesthat are experiencing a level of
(31:42):
some form of dementiaAcknowledge, accept and adapt
and there is still a potentialquality of life to be had, both
for the caregivers and the oneexperiencing the dementia,
whatever form of dementia theyhave.
So I just really like that.
I think that's a very not onlypositive acknowledgement but
(32:03):
also important that familiesreally try to do those three
things to advance really qualityof life, absolutely.
Michael J. Hession, MD (32:12):
I think you know I found that over the
years in caring for patients Imean pretty much everybody that
I saw had significant heartdisease, had heart attacks,
bypasses, serious arrhythmias,heart failure.
It was not a real cure.
There were treatments, but thepeople who did well were the
people that could reallyacknowledge their illness,
accept it, not get lost indenial or anger, and then find a
(32:36):
way to adapt, to move forward.
I saw many people who wouldcome in, be overweight smokers,
get religion.
They would lose weight, quitsmoking, start exercising and
really turn their lives around.
And I think it's possible.
I think there are very fewthings we cure.
We have treatments, some betterthan others.
(32:57):
Dementia we're seeing more andmore of it as people live longer
and we're able to control theirother medical problems and
they're living long enough toget dementia.
But I think you're absolutelyright, they can get to
acknowledge their illness andtheir family members to
acknowledge the illness, acceptthat it's an illness just like
any other illness and adapt.
(33:18):
You can enjoy life, do thingswhile you're able to, but at
some point in life somethinggets all of us.
You can't give up, you can'tget angry.
Child doesn't really help atall.
And the people that can harnessall three of those knowledge,
accept and adapt.
They're the ones that are goingto be happy.
Their lives will have meaningand purpose and their families
(33:40):
will be at peace with the wholeexperience.
Attorney Bob Mannor (33:42):
Dr Michael Heschen.
This has been such an importantconversation.
I very much appreciate and Iknow our listeners are going to
appreciate this Any takeaways,any key takeaways that you want
to leave our listeners with.
Michael J. Hession, MD (33:55):
I think that if you're not feeling well
and you know something is notright, don't ignore it.
Get seen, don't be afraid totalk about it.
I think suffering in silence ortrying to tough it out is
really not going to help you,and I think that it's the
willingness to basicallyacknowledge that something is
(34:16):
not right and to get help is howyou will overcome whatever life
issue you're going through.
It sounds simple, it's notsimple and it's not easy it's
not simple.
It's great advice, though, but Ithink if something doesn't feel
right, you need to take thetime and make the effort to get
seen and to be persistent.
But I think listening to yourbody and advocating for yourself
(34:40):
and having loved ones advocatefor you and also I think as we
age, it's important to haveadvanced directives, have
healthcare proxies, because lifehappens and we all do die and
it's unpredictable as to whatevent's going to cause it or
when it's going to happen.
But if you take the time tomake your wishes known and to
(35:01):
see your attorney and haveevents directives and a living
will made out, it'll help yourloved ones navigate what can be
a very difficult time.
Being proactive is veryimportant.
Attorney Bob Mannor (35:12):
Well, thank you for this great advice.
Check out Dr Heshen's book thePhysician Healed Myself Nearly
Dead and the Journey Back toHealth, and also the website
acknowledge, accept and adaptcom.
I highly recommend checking outboth of those.
If you enjoyed this podcast andyou'd like to know when there's
going to be another advice fromyour advocates, feel free to
(35:34):
subscribe at any of the placesthat you listen to podcasts, or
you can go to YouTube or ourwebsite at manorlawgroupcom, and
you can sign up or register foror subscribe to the podcast.
But thanks for listening and wewill talk to you next time.
Thanks for listening and wewill talk to you next time.
(35:59):
Thanks for listening.
To learn more, visitmanorlawgroupcom.
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