May 27, 2025 • 19 mins
In this episode of Advice From Your Advocates, Elder Law Attorney Bob Mannor and Certified Dementia Practitioner Savannah Meksto team up to bust some of the most common myths in estate planning & elder law—and offer real-life advice for families caring for a loved one with dementia.
From “I have a will, so I’m all set” to misunderstandings about Medicaid penalties and asset transfers, Bob and Savannah tackle the legal misconceptions that can lead families astray. They also share actionable caregiving tips to help reduce burnout, create routines, and build a supportive care environment.
💡 Takeaways include:
- Why estate planning isn’t just about documents—it’s about strategy
- How simplifying routines can ease confusion for dementia patients
- What caregivers really need to hear (like: it’s okay to ask for help!)
- The truth about wills, Medicaid rules, and power of attorney
- Resources and events for aging families in Michigan
Whether you're navigating long-term care, caregiving, or just planning ahead, this episode offers expert insight to lighten the load—and help you and your family feel more prepared.
Host: Attorney Bob Mannor
Co-Host & Executive Producer: Savannah Meksto, CDP
Listening Options
YouTube Playlist
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Amazon Music
iHeart Radio
Podcast Addict
Podchaser
Deezer
Listen Notes
Player FM
ABOUT US:
Mannor Law Group helps clients in all matters of estate planning and elder law including special needs planning, veterans’ benefits, Medicaid planning, estate administration, and more. We offer guidance through all stages of life.
We also help families dealing with dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, and other illnesses that cause memory loss. We take a comprehensive, holistic approach, called Life Care Planning. LEARN MORE...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Savannah Meksto (00:00):
You're listening to Advice from your
Advocates, a show where weprovide elder law advice to
professionals who work with theelderly and their families.
Attorney Bob Mannor (00:10):
Good morning everyone.
I'm Bob Mannor.
I'm an elder law attorney andtoday we've got a great show.
We're going to cover somereally important topics about
legal and estate planning,caregiving and long-term care.
This is especially important ifyou have someone in your family
that has dementia orAlzheimer's.
So stay tuned, because we'vegot some great tips for you.
Savannah Meksto (00:29):
And I'm Savannah Meksto, certified
dementia practitioner.
We'll be debunking some commonmyths about planning and
caregiving, but we've also gothelpful practical tips for those
of you taking care of lovedones with dementia, Whether
you're in the car or at home.
Grab a pen, because this couldmake a real difference for you
and your family.
Well, maybe don't grab a pen ifyou're in the car but, listen
(00:51):
real close, if you are All right.
let's dive into some of thecommon misconceptions about
estate planning.
The first myth or misconceptionI don't need a plan, I'll just
rely on my family to figure itout.
Bob, you've heard this onebefore, right.
Attorney Bob Mannor (01:10):
Yes, absolutely, and you know it is a
myth, because the thing is itjust makes it much more
difficult on your family for avariety of reasons, and this is
true for anybody, you know,whether you it's just a simple
will or powers of attorney orsome people who want to do a
revocable trust, but the idea isthat having that planned out
for your family is so importantto make the crisis a little bit
(01:30):
easier on them.
This is extra important ifthere's a diagnosis of dementia
or Alzheimer's, because therewill likely come a time that
that person that has dementia orAlzheimer's will not be able to
participate in their dailyactivities or making decisions
anymore.
So it's even more importantthat we don't leave that to a
crisis, because it's so muchmore difficult on the family if
(01:51):
we don't have a plan in placeahead of time.
Savannah Meksto (01:53):
Exactly, Bob.
And that actually brings us tothis quick segment that I wanted
to throw in today for caregivertips.
If you are taking care of aloved one with dementia, one of
the most important and helpfulthings you can do is create a
daily routine.
Predictability helps reduceconfusion and stress for your
loved one.
It can also ease the pressurefor you.
But it's important to considerthe routine of the person that
(02:16):
you're caring for.
If this person was maybe anight owl in their normal
everyday life, maybe they werestaying up till 3 in the morning
working on baseball cards atthe dining room table.
Well, that person might notwant to go to bed at 730 pm.
So when you are creating thatroutine, think about the person
that you're caring for.
Attorney Bob Mannor (02:33):
And don't be afraid to ask for help.
It is very important that thefamily caregivers get some
support and of course, wesometimes will lean on family
right, we'll ask for ourchildren's help or you know
other people in the family thatcan help out.
But it's really important thatthe caregiver is not a
24-hour-a-day caregiver, youknow, seven days a week.
(02:56):
This happens so often and itwill not only could lead to
burnout, but it also could leadto bad health.
Not only could lead to burnout,but it also could lead to bad
health, and the worst thing thatcould happen is the caregiver
now gets sick or the caregivernow has.
You know, some could even die.
In fact, they tell us that.
The statistics tell uscaregiver spouses often will die
before the spouse with dementiaor Alzheimer's.
(03:17):
And so just make sure that partof the plan is to get outside
help, whether it be from familyor paid help through paid
caregiving organizations andhome care companies, and there's
lots of resources.
Savannah Meksto (03:29):
That's such good advice and we actually have
a couple more tips later on inthe show.
So stay tuned and keeplistening.
To go ahead and get back to ourmyths and I wanted to throw
this one out there, because thisis one that we hear a lot and
it's actually something thatI've seen on TV before.
And, confession, I thought thatthis was actually like a real
thing and I didn't know that itwasn't a real thing until I
(03:51):
started working at Manor LawGroup.
So this myth it's kind of a twofor one and you'll see what I'm
talking about.
So here we go.
If I have a will, I'm all set.
When I die, my family willlearn all they need to know at
the will reading with myattorney.
Attorney Bob Mannor (04:04):
Yeah, that's more of a Hollywood thing
than real life.
Very rarely is there a readingof the will.
Most of the family will havealready read the will or other
operative legal documents beforethey even meet with the
attorney, and so the will itselfactually does not have any
legal effect without a courtgiving it a legal effect.
(04:25):
So I'll often, you know, I'llask the question to folks well,
when does the will take effect?
And always everybody willanswer when you die, right, well
, it's not actually accuratebecause, well, it doesn't take
effect until you die.
It also doesn't take effectuntil a judge gives it effect,
until a judge issues an ordercalled a letter of authority.
(04:45):
That would be the probate judge.
So you can't take the will tothe bank and say, well, I'm the
executor under the will, I'm thepersonal representative under
the will, so I need access tothis bank account.
The bank will say, well,where's your letter of authority
from the judge?
Can't take it to a realtor tosell the house.
The realtor is going to saywhere's your letter of authority
from the judge?
So a will, if we're going tolook at a will to see where
something goes, it has to gothrough that probate process and
(05:08):
there are ways to avoid that,of course, but the will is not
the way there is.
We always recommend that peoplehave a will, but we usually try
to use other, alternative waysto transfer assets and make sure
that things are going to go theway that you want them to, but
the will is only a part of thatpackage.
Savannah Meksto (05:26):
Yeah, that's so important, and it's also
important for caregivers ofpeople with Alzheimer's or
dementia.
Just to think about that.
Having these documents readyensures that decisions can be
made smoothly if your loved onecan no longer make those
decisions in the future.
Another common myth that wehave is I'll just transfer
everything to my kids to qualifyfor Medicaid.
Attorney Bob Mannor (05:48):
Yeah, no, don't do that.
And I'm not saying that yourkids aren't trustworthy, I'm not
saying anything like that.
There is a penalty fortransferring or gifting assets
away.
Now what they do is they lookback five years and so you say
well, how do they know?
Well, guess what?
They're the government.
And not only are they thegovernment, but if you need help
(06:09):
paying for care, whether it bein your home, in an assisted
living or an independent livingor even a nursing home, which
can be some of the mostexpensive options then you'll
have to apply for this benefit.
It's not like Medicare.
Well, if you turn 65, you'reprobably going to get Medicare,
and lots of other people are onMedicare.
But this is another programcalled Medicaid, and we also
(06:31):
look at it from the standpointof veterans benefits.
And both of those programsveterans benefits and Medicaid
have a look back, where theylook and see what you did with
your money.
And so not only do they have amechanism they call it asset
verification to check and seewhat happened with your money,
so that they can check with thebanks and do their own
independent research.
You have an affirmativeobligation to tell them what you
(06:52):
did with your money.
And if you can't explain it,then they're going to assume it
was a gift and they're going topenalize you.
So let me give you an example,because I'll have people try to.
You know I don't think they'reserious about it, but they're
trying to figure out.
Is there a way around this?
So they say, well, how do theyknow?
I just didn't lose, you know,$30,000 at the casino.
And I say, well, then you'dhave to prove that you lost
(07:14):
$30,000 at the casino.
Because if they flag that$30,000 and they say, well, what
happened to this?
And you say I lost it at thecasino, they say prove it.
And if you can't prove it,they're going to presume it was
a transfer or gift and they'regoing to provide a Medicaid or
veterans benefits penaltybecause of that If you can't
prove what happened to thatmoney.
So usually we can, because themoney's in the bank, but they'll
(07:37):
see when the money left thebank and then they'll ask those
questions about what happened tothat money.
Savannah Meksto (07:39):
Yeah, absolutely.
And let's be real, transferringyour assets puts your kids,
your adult children, at risk ifthat adult child faces financial
trouble or a divorce.
But that's really a whole other, different conversation that we
could probably talk about forlike a whole episode in itself.
Attorney Bob Mannor (07:56):
Yeah, we'll probably do a whole episode on
what I call the four D's.
When you add your kids' namesto accounts or things like that
death, disability what are thefour D's?
Death, disability, divorce andIs being dumb.
Hi, I'm Bob Manor, an elder lawattorney with Manor Law Group.
If you're caring for a lovedone with Alzheimer's or dementia
(08:16):
, we know it can be veryoverwhelming.
Finding the right care, howwe're going to afford care and
navigating the maze of the manyoptions can be very difficult.
Well, that's where Manor LawGroup comes in.
At Manor Law Group, we havecare navigation services, along
with help with finding the rightgovernment benefits to pay for
that care.
So we're here to guide you withevery step of the way and we'll
(08:37):
help you find, get and affordto have your loved one get the
care that they need so that youcan focus on family.
Call us today at 1-800-990-6030or visit us online at
manorlawgroupcom Let us help youcare for the ones that need it
most.
Savannah Meksto (08:54):
Well, you are listening to Advice from your
Advocate and, if you're justtuning in, we just wrapped up
some really important myths onestate planning and actually
long-term care planning as well.
Now I would like to go aheadand start our next segment,
which is a carryover of our tipsfor dementia caregivers, and I
would really like to share acouple more just, important tips
(09:14):
that we have, and these aretips that we've learned along
the way, either from otheradvocates or dementia
professionals that we've spokenwith on our show, our podcast
that we have of the same nameAdvice from your Advocates, or
just tips that we've learnedfrom Bob's 20 plus years of
experience as an elder lawattorney.
So the first tip, to simplifythe environment too much clutter
(09:35):
or even too much noise can beoverwhelming for someone with
dementia.
Clutter or even too much noisecan be overwhelming for someone
with dementia.
So it's really important, ifyou can, to try to keep things
organized and just create quietspaces for relaxation.
Do you have any sort offeedback on that?
Attorney Bob Mannor (09:50):
Yeah, that's a great point.
I actually want to add a littlebit to that.
So you know I've got.
I'm lucky enough to have thispodcast where we get to
interview experts from all overthe world on dementia and
related things, and one of thethings I keep hearing over and
over again is sometimes what'smaking the dementia worse is the
inability of the person toreally interact with their
(10:10):
environment.
So if they're not wearinghearing aids, if they need
glasses and they're not gettingthe correct division, so now we
already have this brain issue,that is, the connections aren't
all working right, and now we'regiving them a further deficit
where they're having adifficulty interacting with
their environment because theydon't hear as well, because
they're not using their hearingaids or they don't have their
glasses or other reasons whythat it's more difficult for
(10:33):
people to interact and that willsometimes make the dementia
worse.
The symptoms get worse.
It's also very important thatwe keep up physical activity.
Sometimes we talk about somefamilies.
When they get a diagnosis ofdementia, they kind of cocoon
into their house.
They just kind of go in anddon't want to leave the house,
(10:54):
don't want to sort of exposethings to others, and that's
really a bad idea.
If we can still get to the gym,get to the track, you could
join a walking club, all thesedifferent things.
It will add so much quality tothe remaining years, even with
dementia, and it can lessenthose symptoms.
Savannah Meksto (11:13):
Absolutely With that physical activity.
It can be a short walk, or itcan even just be stretching
standing up.
You know if you can, whateveryou're able to do or your person
is able to do, but it does.
It helps with mood, it helpskeep your person engaged and
it's really good for you too asa caregiver to get up and move
around and caregiving it's hardand my heart really, just truly
(11:33):
goes out to you and we know it'sa 24-7 job, but it's really
important to take that littlebit of time for yourself.
Attorney Bob Mannor (11:40):
And you don't have to do it alone.
One of the things that we do inour office at Manor Law Group
is that we help work withfamilies and help them find the
resources, help them find thatrespite care so that the
caregiver can take a break.
I think it's really importantthat we have opportunities to go
visit family.
I had somebody in the officethe other day and they had a new
(12:01):
grandbaby, but it was inanother state and they felt like
they couldn't go because theywere taking care of their
husband with dementia, and so Ithought that was really
important that they got to goand see the new grandbaby.
So we put some resourcestogether and came up with a way
that we knew that the husbandwas going to be well taken care
of.
No-transcript.
Savannah Meksto (12:25):
No, we did that .
That's really cool.
Thank you so much.
If you're just tuning in, thisis advice from your advocates.
We're going to go ahead and getto some listener questions.
Bob, I think that you might beable to share the first question
with us.
Attorney Bob Mannor (12:37):
Okay, I get this question a lot and it is
whether we should put the housein the kids' names or add their
names to the deed to protect itfrom nursing home, and the
answer is no.
You should not do that for anumber of reasons.
People have often heard thisterm ladybird deed and so we
will get into that concept onone of our shows.
(12:58):
Ladybird deeds are a little bitdifferent than just adding
somebody's name.
It's kind of like adding abeneficiary to the deed, but
that has its own set ofcomplications.
I could absolutely go and talkfor about an hour on ladybird
deeds, but we're not going tospend that time on that today.
The question from the listenerwas should I just put their
names on it so that it'd beprotected from the nursing home?
(13:20):
The answer is that actuallydoes not necessarily protect it
from the nursing home.
Deeds are very nuanced andpeople don't always realize how
nuanced a deed can be to theextent that we're having to fix
poorly drafted deeds severaltimes a month and one or two
word difference.
It looks so simple because it'soften just one or two pages
long and it looks so simple buta few words here or there or if
(13:44):
it doesn't have the exact wordsthat we need, it will not
accomplish the task that you'retrying to accomplish.
So it's real important to use alawyer when you're drafting
deeds number one.
Number two is it actuallydoesn't save the asset, because
if we have to sell it, then theystill count that as all of the
(14:05):
parents' asset.
It would be counted as a giftbecause you added kids' names to
it.
Now that's going to beconsidered a penalty for gifting
, even though they didn't reallyget anything.
They just got their names addedto the deed.
That would qualify as a giftingpenalty.
There's a number of otherreasons why I don't like people
adding their kids' names todeeds, but those are two really
good ones.
Savannah Meksto (14:24):
Yeah, it's all about finding the safest way to
protect your assets withoutcreating that unnecessary risk.
So we do have one last question, and this one hits close to
home for a lot of people.
My dad's health is decliningand he doesn't have an estate
plan in place.
What's the first step that theyshould take, bob?
Attorney Bob Mannor (14:41):
So it's a great question and this is, you
know, commonly how people reachout to our office is in that
situation.
So you know, lawyers are all alittle different in their
processes and things like that,but in our office we often
believe that we need to includethe family in the conversation.
(15:02):
So some lawyers will say, oh,only dad can come in, the rest
of the family has to sit out inthe hall and the lawyer will
only talk to dad.
Well, if dad's already kind ofexperiencing some memory issues
or things like that, that can bechallenging and the family
doesn't get their questionsfully answered.
So we're a big believer inlet's not have a situation where
(15:25):
one son is influencing dad togive him all the money.
You know we don't want to havethat, but we do.
If we can get all of the familyinvolved, that's even better.
Let's all sit around a tabletogether and figure out what's
best for dad.
And that is something that weallow in our office and we
actually recommend, so that thewhole family can kind of be
involved, ask their questions,and it makes it less likely that
(15:48):
there's going to be some familysquabbling or fights later on,
because we all got together, sataround a table and came up with
a plan that was best to protectdad.
Now, in that situation, we'regoing to be looking at two
different things.
One is we're going to look atmake sure we have those legal
documents in place, thosepermissions in place, so that
dad doesn't end up in court ifhe becomes incapacitated.
(16:12):
But the second thing is we'regoing to start looking towards
making a plan for if dad needssome help, some caregivers in
the home, or if we have tosomeday look at assisted living
or memory care or nursing homeor anything like that.
And so, as part of thatconversation, we're going to
start talking about well, here'sthe options out there, here's
the government programs that canhelp pay for it.
(16:33):
We're going to figure out whatdad qualifies for and what dad
doesn't qualify for, so thatwe're really kind of moving it
forward to the extent that whenthe next crisis happens, when
there's a fall, when there's astroke, when there's some other
incident that we now feel like,okay, we have to do something
differently.
We already have some parts ofthe plan already in place.
Savannah Meksto (16:52):
So, aside I have a question actually so,
aside from the benefits of, likeyou said, us, helping find the
care, find, you know, thesupport that dad or the family
needs, why would someone come toan elder law attorney?
Because you can get some ofthese documents online.
Attorney Bob Mannor (17:07):
Yeah, good question.
Savannah Meksto (17:08):
So what's the benefit of coming to CU for that
part too?
Attorney Bob Mannor (17:12):
So I was telling Savannah on the last
episode of Advice from yourAdvocates I'm not so good with
tools, I can't.
I'm not going to remodel mykitchen or remodel my bathroom
that's not within my skill set.
But I have tools.
I have a lot of really nicetools in my toolbox.
You have concepts of tools, yes, but I have tools.
I have a lot of really nicetools in my toolbox.
You have concepts of tools.
Yes, and the thing, what thefunny thing is, I have these
tools but they don't do me anygood.
(17:33):
Just because I have a fancytool doesn't mean that my
bathroom is going to getremodeled.
I need to hire somebody else todo that that has that expertise
and has that understanding ofhow to do that.
Legal documents are just toolsand they only work when you know
how to use them.
And so we get so often whenpeople say well, I have a will
(17:54):
and that should all be all Ineed.
Well, if you're alive, yourwill is not going to do anything
for you.
The will only applies afteryour death.
Specifically when it comes todementia, those types of things,
there are so many differentrules that apply that even most
lawyers aren't going to have afull understanding of what
options you have, and so that'swhy elder law came about,
(18:16):
because we need to not only justsay, okay, we've got a will,
we've got a trust, we've got apower of attorney.
We also have to think of it incontext of these government
programs and making sure thatwe're applying for those
properly and setting ourfamilies up in the best way for
that.
And that is so important, and alot of lawyers aren't going to
have that kind of experience.
(18:37):
They never would have had anopportunity to file a veteran's
application for benefits or aMedicaid application for
benefits, and the rules are verycumbersome, and so it's our job
to know those rules inside andout so that we can get you the
best results and protect yourassets and get you the best care
that we can get you.
Savannah Meksto (18:55):
You're listening to Advice from your
Advocates.
That's a wrap for today.
We've busted some myths andshared tips for caregivers of
loved ones with dementia.
Remember that planning aheadcan save your family a lot of
stress and, if you liked whatyou heard, check out our podcast
, Advice From your Advocates,where we dive deeper into these
topics with advocates fromliterally all over the world.
(19:17):
Find us on Spotify, ApplePodcasts, iHeartRadio and you
can even watch our videos onYouTube.
Thanks again for tuning in toAdvice From your Advocates,
where care meets clarity.
Thanks for listening.
To learn more, visitmannorlawgroup.
com.
You're listening to Advice from your
Advocates, a show where weprovide elder law advice to
professionals who work with theelderly and their families.
Attorney Bob Mannor (00:10):
Good morning everyone.
I'm Bob Mannor.
I'm an elder law attorney andtoday we've got a great show.
We're going to cover somereally important topics about
legal and estate planning,caregiving and long-term care.
This is especially important ifyou have someone in your family
that has dementia orAlzheimer's.
So stay tuned, because we'vegot some great tips for you.
Savannah Meksto (00:29):
And I'm Savannah Meksto, certified
dementia practitioner.
We'll be debunking some commonmyths about planning and
caregiving, but we've also gothelpful practical tips for those
of you taking care of lovedones with dementia, Whether
you're in the car or at home.
Grab a pen, because this couldmake a real difference for you
and your family.
Well, maybe don't grab a pen ifyou're in the car but, listen
(00:51):
real close, if you are All right.
let's dive into some of thecommon misconceptions about
estate planning.
The first myth or misconceptionI don't need a plan, I'll just
rely on my family to figure itout.
Bob, you've heard this onebefore, right.
Attorney Bob Mannor (01:10):
Yes, absolutely, and you know it is a
myth, because the thing is itjust makes it much more
difficult on your family for avariety of reasons, and this is
true for anybody, you know,whether you it's just a simple
will or powers of attorney orsome people who want to do a
revocable trust, but the idea isthat having that planned out
for your family is so importantto make the crisis a little bit
(01:30):
easier on them.
This is extra important ifthere's a diagnosis of dementia
or Alzheimer's, because therewill likely come a time that
that person that has dementia orAlzheimer's will not be able to
participate in their dailyactivities or making decisions
anymore.
So it's even more importantthat we don't leave that to a
crisis, because it's so muchmore difficult on the family if
(01:51):
we don't have a plan in placeahead of time.
Savannah Meksto (01:53):
Exactly, Bob.
And that actually brings us tothis quick segment that I wanted
to throw in today for caregivertips.
If you are taking care of aloved one with dementia, one of
the most important and helpfulthings you can do is create a
daily routine.
Predictability helps reduceconfusion and stress for your
loved one.
It can also ease the pressurefor you.
But it's important to considerthe routine of the person that
(02:16):
you're caring for.
If this person was maybe anight owl in their normal
everyday life, maybe they werestaying up till 3 in the morning
working on baseball cards atthe dining room table.
Well, that person might notwant to go to bed at 730 pm.
So when you are creating thatroutine, think about the person
that you're caring for.
Attorney Bob Mannor (02:33):
And don't be afraid to ask for help.
It is very important that thefamily caregivers get some
support and of course, wesometimes will lean on family
right, we'll ask for ourchildren's help or you know
other people in the family thatcan help out.
But it's really important thatthe caregiver is not a
24-hour-a-day caregiver, youknow, seven days a week.
(02:56):
This happens so often and itwill not only could lead to
burnout, but it also could leadto bad health.
Not only could lead to burnout,but it also could lead to bad
health, and the worst thing thatcould happen is the caregiver
now gets sick or the caregivernow has.
You know, some could even die.
In fact, they tell us that.
The statistics tell uscaregiver spouses often will die
before the spouse with dementiaor Alzheimer's.
(03:17):
And so just make sure that partof the plan is to get outside
help, whether it be from familyor paid help through paid
caregiving organizations andhome care companies, and there's
lots of resources.
Savannah Meksto (03:29):
That's such good advice and we actually have
a couple more tips later on inthe show.
So stay tuned and keeplistening.
To go ahead and get back to ourmyths and I wanted to throw
this one out there, because thisis one that we hear a lot and
it's actually something thatI've seen on TV before.
And, confession, I thought thatthis was actually like a real
thing and I didn't know that itwasn't a real thing until I
(03:51):
started working at Manor LawGroup.
So this myth it's kind of a twofor one and you'll see what I'm
talking about.
So here we go.
If I have a will, I'm all set.
When I die, my family willlearn all they need to know at
the will reading with myattorney.
Attorney Bob Mannor (04:04):
Yeah, that's more of a Hollywood thing
than real life.
Very rarely is there a readingof the will.
Most of the family will havealready read the will or other
operative legal documents beforethey even meet with the
attorney, and so the will itselfactually does not have any
legal effect without a courtgiving it a legal effect.
(04:25):
So I'll often, you know, I'llask the question to folks well,
when does the will take effect?
And always everybody willanswer when you die, right, well
, it's not actually accuratebecause, well, it doesn't take
effect until you die.
It also doesn't take effectuntil a judge gives it effect,
until a judge issues an ordercalled a letter of authority.
(04:45):
That would be the probate judge.
So you can't take the will tothe bank and say, well, I'm the
executor under the will, I'm thepersonal representative under
the will, so I need access tothis bank account.
The bank will say, well,where's your letter of authority
from the judge?
Can't take it to a realtor tosell the house.
The realtor is going to saywhere's your letter of authority
from the judge?
So a will, if we're going tolook at a will to see where
something goes, it has to gothrough that probate process and
(05:08):
there are ways to avoid that,of course, but the will is not
the way there is.
We always recommend that peoplehave a will, but we usually try
to use other, alternative waysto transfer assets and make sure
that things are going to go theway that you want them to, but
the will is only a part of thatpackage.
Savannah Meksto (05:26):
Yeah, that's so important, and it's also
important for caregivers ofpeople with Alzheimer's or
dementia.
Just to think about that.
Having these documents readyensures that decisions can be
made smoothly if your loved onecan no longer make those
decisions in the future.
Another common myth that wehave is I'll just transfer
everything to my kids to qualifyfor Medicaid.
Attorney Bob Mannor (05:48):
Yeah, no, don't do that.
And I'm not saying that yourkids aren't trustworthy, I'm not
saying anything like that.
There is a penalty fortransferring or gifting assets
away.
Now what they do is they lookback five years and so you say
well, how do they know?
Well, guess what?
They're the government.
And not only are they thegovernment, but if you need help
(06:09):
paying for care, whether it bein your home, in an assisted
living or an independent livingor even a nursing home, which
can be some of the mostexpensive options then you'll
have to apply for this benefit.
It's not like Medicare.
Well, if you turn 65, you'reprobably going to get Medicare,
and lots of other people are onMedicare.
But this is another programcalled Medicaid, and we also
(06:31):
look at it from the standpointof veterans benefits.
And both of those programsveterans benefits and Medicaid
have a look back, where theylook and see what you did with
your money.
And so not only do they have amechanism they call it asset
verification to check and seewhat happened with your money,
so that they can check with thebanks and do their own
independent research.
You have an affirmativeobligation to tell them what you
(06:52):
did with your money.
And if you can't explain it,then they're going to assume it
was a gift and they're going topenalize you.
So let me give you an example,because I'll have people try to.
You know I don't think they'reserious about it, but they're
trying to figure out.
Is there a way around this?
So they say, well, how do theyknow?
I just didn't lose, you know,$30,000 at the casino.
And I say, well, then you'dhave to prove that you lost
(07:14):
$30,000 at the casino.
Because if they flag that$30,000 and they say, well, what
happened to this?
And you say I lost it at thecasino, they say prove it.
And if you can't prove it,they're going to presume it was
a transfer or gift and they'regoing to provide a Medicaid or
veterans benefits penaltybecause of that If you can't
prove what happened to thatmoney.
So usually we can, because themoney's in the bank, but they'll
(07:37):
see when the money left thebank and then they'll ask those
questions about what happened tothat money.
Savannah Meksto (07:39):
Yeah, absolutely.
And let's be real, transferringyour assets puts your kids,
your adult children, at risk ifthat adult child faces financial
trouble or a divorce.
But that's really a whole other, different conversation that we
could probably talk about forlike a whole episode in itself.
Attorney Bob Mannor (07:56):
Yeah, we'll probably do a whole episode on
what I call the four D's.
When you add your kids' namesto accounts or things like that
death, disability what are thefour D's?
Death, disability, divorce andIs being dumb.
Hi, I'm Bob Manor, an elder lawattorney with Manor Law Group.
If you're caring for a lovedone with Alzheimer's or dementia
(08:16):
, we know it can be veryoverwhelming.
Finding the right care, howwe're going to afford care and
navigating the maze of the manyoptions can be very difficult.
Well, that's where Manor LawGroup comes in.
At Manor Law Group, we havecare navigation services, along
with help with finding the rightgovernment benefits to pay for
that care.
So we're here to guide you withevery step of the way and we'll
(08:37):
help you find, get and affordto have your loved one get the
care that they need so that youcan focus on family.
Call us today at 1-800-990-6030or visit us online at
manorlawgroupcom Let us help youcare for the ones that need it
most.
Savannah Meksto (08:54):
Well, you are listening to Advice from your
Advocate and, if you're justtuning in, we just wrapped up
some really important myths onestate planning and actually
long-term care planning as well.
Now I would like to go aheadand start our next segment,
which is a carryover of our tipsfor dementia caregivers, and I
would really like to share acouple more just, important tips
(09:14):
that we have, and these aretips that we've learned along
the way, either from otheradvocates or dementia
professionals that we've spokenwith on our show, our podcast
that we have of the same nameAdvice from your Advocates, or
just tips that we've learnedfrom Bob's 20 plus years of
experience as an elder lawattorney.
So the first tip, to simplifythe environment too much clutter
(09:35):
or even too much noise can beoverwhelming for someone with
dementia.
Clutter or even too much noisecan be overwhelming for someone
with dementia.
So it's really important, ifyou can, to try to keep things
organized and just create quietspaces for relaxation.
Do you have any sort offeedback on that?
Attorney Bob Mannor (09:50):
Yeah, that's a great point.
I actually want to add a littlebit to that.
So you know I've got.
I'm lucky enough to have thispodcast where we get to
interview experts from all overthe world on dementia and
related things, and one of thethings I keep hearing over and
over again is sometimes what'smaking the dementia worse is the
inability of the person toreally interact with their
(10:10):
environment.
So if they're not wearinghearing aids, if they need
glasses and they're not gettingthe correct division, so now we
already have this brain issue,that is, the connections aren't
all working right, and now we'regiving them a further deficit
where they're having adifficulty interacting with
their environment because theydon't hear as well, because
they're not using their hearingaids or they don't have their
glasses or other reasons whythat it's more difficult for
(10:33):
people to interact and that willsometimes make the dementia
worse.
The symptoms get worse.
It's also very important thatwe keep up physical activity.
Sometimes we talk about somefamilies.
When they get a diagnosis ofdementia, they kind of cocoon
into their house.
They just kind of go in anddon't want to leave the house,
(10:54):
don't want to sort of exposethings to others, and that's
really a bad idea.
If we can still get to the gym,get to the track, you could
join a walking club, all thesedifferent things.
It will add so much quality tothe remaining years, even with
dementia, and it can lessenthose symptoms.
Savannah Meksto (11:13):
Absolutely With that physical activity.
It can be a short walk, or itcan even just be stretching
standing up.
You know if you can, whateveryou're able to do or your person
is able to do, but it does.
It helps with mood, it helpskeep your person engaged and
it's really good for you too asa caregiver to get up and move
around and caregiving it's hardand my heart really, just truly
(11:33):
goes out to you and we know it'sa 24-7 job, but it's really
important to take that littlebit of time for yourself.
Attorney Bob Mannor (11:40):
And you don't have to do it alone.
One of the things that we do inour office at Manor Law Group
is that we help work withfamilies and help them find the
resources, help them find thatrespite care so that the
caregiver can take a break.
I think it's really importantthat we have opportunities to go
visit family.
I had somebody in the officethe other day and they had a new
(12:01):
grandbaby, but it was inanother state and they felt like
they couldn't go because theywere taking care of their
husband with dementia, and so Ithought that was really
important that they got to goand see the new grandbaby.
So we put some resourcestogether and came up with a way
that we knew that the husbandwas going to be well taken care
of.
No-transcript.
Savannah Meksto (12:25):
No, we did that .
That's really cool.
Thank you so much.
If you're just tuning in, thisis advice from your advocates.
We're going to go ahead and getto some listener questions.
Bob, I think that you might beable to share the first question
with us.
Attorney Bob Mannor (12:37):
Okay, I get this question a lot and it is
whether we should put the housein the kids' names or add their
names to the deed to protect itfrom nursing home, and the
answer is no.
You should not do that for anumber of reasons.
People have often heard thisterm ladybird deed and so we
will get into that concept onone of our shows.
(12:58):
Ladybird deeds are a little bitdifferent than just adding
somebody's name.
It's kind of like adding abeneficiary to the deed, but
that has its own set ofcomplications.
I could absolutely go and talkfor about an hour on ladybird
deeds, but we're not going tospend that time on that today.
The question from the listenerwas should I just put their
names on it so that it'd beprotected from the nursing home?
(13:20):
The answer is that actuallydoes not necessarily protect it
from the nursing home.
Deeds are very nuanced andpeople don't always realize how
nuanced a deed can be to theextent that we're having to fix
poorly drafted deeds severaltimes a month and one or two
word difference.
It looks so simple because it'soften just one or two pages
long and it looks so simple buta few words here or there or if
(13:44):
it doesn't have the exact wordsthat we need, it will not
accomplish the task that you'retrying to accomplish.
So it's real important to use alawyer when you're drafting
deeds number one.
Number two is it actuallydoesn't save the asset, because
if we have to sell it, then theystill count that as all of the
(14:05):
parents' asset.
It would be counted as a giftbecause you added kids' names to
it.
Now that's going to beconsidered a penalty for gifting
, even though they didn't reallyget anything.
They just got their names addedto the deed.
That would qualify as a giftingpenalty.
There's a number of otherreasons why I don't like people
adding their kids' names todeeds, but those are two really
good ones.
Savannah Meksto (14:24):
Yeah, it's all about finding the safest way to
protect your assets withoutcreating that unnecessary risk.
So we do have one last question, and this one hits close to
home for a lot of people.
My dad's health is decliningand he doesn't have an estate
plan in place.
What's the first step that theyshould take, bob?
Attorney Bob Mannor (14:41):
So it's a great question and this is, you
know, commonly how people reachout to our office is in that
situation.
So you know, lawyers are all alittle different in their
processes and things like that,but in our office we often
believe that we need to includethe family in the conversation.
(15:02):
So some lawyers will say, oh,only dad can come in, the rest
of the family has to sit out inthe hall and the lawyer will
only talk to dad.
Well, if dad's already kind ofexperiencing some memory issues
or things like that, that can bechallenging and the family
doesn't get their questionsfully answered.
So we're a big believer inlet's not have a situation where
(15:25):
one son is influencing dad togive him all the money.
You know we don't want to havethat, but we do.
If we can get all of the familyinvolved, that's even better.
Let's all sit around a tabletogether and figure out what's
best for dad.
And that is something that weallow in our office and we
actually recommend, so that thewhole family can kind of be
involved, ask their questions,and it makes it less likely that
(15:48):
there's going to be some familysquabbling or fights later on,
because we all got together, sataround a table and came up with
a plan that was best to protectdad.
Now, in that situation, we'regoing to be looking at two
different things.
One is we're going to look atmake sure we have those legal
documents in place, thosepermissions in place, so that
dad doesn't end up in court ifhe becomes incapacitated.
(16:12):
But the second thing is we'regoing to start looking towards
making a plan for if dad needssome help, some caregivers in
the home, or if we have tosomeday look at assisted living
or memory care or nursing homeor anything like that.
And so, as part of thatconversation, we're going to
start talking about well, here'sthe options out there, here's
the government programs that canhelp pay for it.
(16:33):
We're going to figure out whatdad qualifies for and what dad
doesn't qualify for, so thatwe're really kind of moving it
forward to the extent that whenthe next crisis happens, when
there's a fall, when there's astroke, when there's some other
incident that we now feel like,okay, we have to do something
differently.
We already have some parts ofthe plan already in place.
Savannah Meksto (16:52):
So, aside I have a question actually so,
aside from the benefits of, likeyou said, us, helping find the
care, find, you know, thesupport that dad or the family
needs, why would someone come toan elder law attorney?
Because you can get some ofthese documents online.
Attorney Bob Mannor (17:07):
Yeah, good question.
Savannah Meksto (17:08):
So what's the benefit of coming to CU for that
part too?
Attorney Bob Mannor (17:12):
So I was telling Savannah on the last
episode of Advice from yourAdvocates I'm not so good with
tools, I can't.
I'm not going to remodel mykitchen or remodel my bathroom
that's not within my skill set.
But I have tools.
I have a lot of really nicetools in my toolbox.
You have concepts of tools, yes, but I have tools.
I have a lot of really nicetools in my toolbox.
You have concepts of tools.
Yes, and the thing, what thefunny thing is, I have these
tools but they don't do me anygood.
(17:33):
Just because I have a fancytool doesn't mean that my
bathroom is going to getremodeled.
I need to hire somebody else todo that that has that expertise
and has that understanding ofhow to do that.
Legal documents are just toolsand they only work when you know
how to use them.
And so we get so often whenpeople say well, I have a will
(17:54):
and that should all be all Ineed.
Well, if you're alive, yourwill is not going to do anything
for you.
The will only applies afteryour death.
Specifically when it comes todementia, those types of things,
there are so many differentrules that apply that even most
lawyers aren't going to have afull understanding of what
options you have, and so that'swhy elder law came about,
(18:16):
because we need to not only justsay, okay, we've got a will,
we've got a trust, we've got apower of attorney.
We also have to think of it incontext of these government
programs and making sure thatwe're applying for those
properly and setting ourfamilies up in the best way for
that.
And that is so important, and alot of lawyers aren't going to
have that kind of experience.
(18:37):
They never would have had anopportunity to file a veteran's
application for benefits or aMedicaid application for
benefits, and the rules are verycumbersome, and so it's our job
to know those rules inside andout so that we can get you the
best results and protect yourassets and get you the best care
that we can get you.
Savannah Meksto (18:55):
You're listening to Advice from your
Advocates.
That's a wrap for today.
We've busted some myths andshared tips for caregivers of
loved ones with dementia.
Remember that planning aheadcan save your family a lot of
stress and, if you liked whatyou heard, check out our podcast
, Advice From your Advocates,where we dive deeper into these
topics with advocates fromliterally all over the world.
(19:17):
Find us on Spotify, ApplePodcasts, iHeartRadio and you
can even watch our videos onYouTube.
Thanks again for tuning in toAdvice From your Advocates,
where care meets clarity.
Thanks for listening.
To learn more, visitmannorlawgroup.
com.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.