July 19, 2024 • 52 mins
When Tara Wild's world was turned upside down in September 2020, her life took a tumultuous yet transformative journey. Join us for an emotionally compelling episode of "Against All Odds: The Less Than 1% Chance," where Tara—a bestselling author, speaker, and coach—opens up about the darkest period of her life. Discover the harrowing details of when her husband, Darcy, tested positive for COVID-19 and then vanished, stirring a desperate search and an overwhelming tide of emotions. From the initial shock to the agonizing uncertainty, Tara's story is a heartfelt exploration of resilience, love, and the human spirit.
Through a tapestry of spiritual connections and unwavering faith, Tara navigates the murky waters of grief and acceptance. This episode takes you through her spiritual journey, where moments of peaceful clarity provided solace amidst chaos. Tara shares how prayer, meditation, and intuition became her anchors, enabling her to move from heartbreak to healing. It's an inspiring testament to the transformative power of faith and inner strength, even when faced with unimaginable loss.
Finally, we delve into how Tara has found purpose and meaning in her journey through storytelling and community. She emphasizes the therapeutic power of sharing personal stories and the importance of embracing love over fear. Tara's narrative underscores the strength in vulnerability and the value of authentic connections. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, this episode serves as a beacon of hope and a guide for anyone navigating their own trials. Join us as we uncover how Tara not only survived but thrived against all odds, finding purpose through her pain and inspiring others to do the same.
Find Tara:
Instagram: @theluminoushearthealing
Facebook: Tara Wild
Website: www.tarawild.ca
Book: Snapshots of My Broken Heart: How We Find Peace and Connection When We Choose To View Loss Through the Lens of Love
Follow Maria on Facebook HERE
Follow Maria on Instagram HERE
Follow Maria on YouTube HERE
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Less Than
1% Chance podcast with your host, Maria Aponte, where we will
hear stories of incrediblepeople thriving against all odds
, and my hope is that we can allsee how life is always
happening for us, even when weare the Less Than 1% Chance.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's all okay.
Welcome back to, Against AllOdds, the Less Than 1% Chance
podcast with your host, MariaAponte.
I'm so excited for you guys tobe back.
I have an amazing individual.
I already and it's all like Ijust met her, but I feel the
energy, and when you can feelthat vibrational energy just
(00:42):
elevate, you know that you arein for something amazing.
So let's meet Tara Wild.
She is a bestselling author,speaker, coach and creator of
the Luminous Heart HealingCollective.
Her candid writing andstorytelling leads people on a
path to harmony and connectionas she guides them towards
(01:03):
understanding the wisdom and thegifts that come from adversity
and the universal experience ofloss.
Listen, my heart is already soready for this, just by saying
that quick sentence, because Ifeel like people come into your
life for a reason, a season or alifetime, and we are going to
(01:23):
get so many good nuggets today.
So welcome, Tara, I am soexcited to have you on.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Thanks for having me, maria.
I'm looking forward to speakingwith you.
Yeah, share your thoughts withyour audience today.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I love it so much.
Give us a little bit ofbackground.
What is your against all oddsstory, or what do you feel we
need to hear from your story andguide us as to how you got to
where you are today?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Okay, that's a loaded question, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I know Mine is too, so I understand.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
It's like where to start.
However, I guess I would startwith the most recent story of my
life, that's been informing theway that I move through the
world and the way that I'mparenting my children and what
I'm mostly talking about onpodcasts right now because of
the publication of my recentbook.
It is sort of a memoir, a bookfor helping people find tools to
(02:23):
deal with adversity and,specifically, with the universal
experience of loss, which Idon't believe just pertains to
the death of a loved one or afamily member.
I've been on quite a journeywith it since 2020.
In September 2020, after theworld had been on a global
lockdown for quite a while myhusband and I were living in
(02:45):
Vancouver, canada, with our twokids we had our son was about
nine at the time and ourdaughter was five and my husband
was a filmmaker working in thefilm industry there, and one of
his projects was the first oneto begin once the global
lockdown had opened up.
Now, it wasn't really maybenecessarily very easy to make a
(03:07):
film at that time and, of course, as soon as they started
working with this big cast andcrew, everybody was still
unclear about this virus andwhat was happening and how to
deal with it, and naturally,there was a little outbreak on
the set.
Yeah, and my husband's name wasDarcy and he and I were not
worried at all about the virusand yeah or anything.
(03:29):
But he did get.
He did test positive and theyhad to go on a little hiatus.
In those days where we livedthey would have the person who
was infected, even though he hadno symptoms, quarantine in a
different space in the house.
So we had been in quarantinefor about a week and he was
upstairs in the house and thekids and I were downstairs and
he was feeling pretty bad aboutus all landing back in
(03:51):
quarantine after we finally wereabout to get out.
Yeah, I was like working on someprojects and everything got
shut down.
Anyways, we were.
He had a little bit of cabinfever, right.
I invited him to take a walkone day or just get out of the
house.
It had been about a week and hewas trying to figure out how to
get the show back on the roadand it was all his
responsibility, which was fine.
(04:12):
He was not a person who gotstressed about work.
He was a very seasoned,seasoned film producer.
But what ended up happening wasI was encouraging him to get out
, just to get some fresh air,and, like, really think about,
is this a project that's worthdoing?
We work for himself.
Do you need the money?
Probably not, maybe.
We were just having thesebeautiful conversations from our
(04:33):
upstairs, downstairs kind ofsituations and I said why don't
you just go out and catch yourbreath tomorrow?
You're not going to infectanyone with the deadly virus.
Just go, go, just get out.
So he felt really reluctantabout it because he felt bad
about us being trapped in thehouse and whatever.
But I was like it's fine, gotake your time, whatever.
So what ended up happening washe left the house that morning
(04:55):
with I don't think he even had acoat, he was just wearing his
like clothes.
He didn't really have adestination.
He thought he might pop intohis office and make sure
everything was okay there.
He was gonna go get gas in thecar, but he didn't go out with
much of a plan and he never cameback wow so that was the most
(05:18):
unthinkable thing that couldever possibly happen and it was
a perfect storm.
So all morning him and I weretexting each other, but what we
were doing is we were textingeach other about this beautiful
conversation we've been havingthe night before about what's
worth doing is the stress of ajob like we're like, yeah,
having really good conversations, like a lot of people did
(05:39):
during the pandemic time whenthey had time together.
A lot of people were workingthrough stuff and him and I were
figuring out the trajectory ofwhat was next for us.
So we were talking about thatand what we weren't talking
about was where he was and I hadjust made him a cup of coffee
and sent him off, and we textedand texted and about 1015 that
(06:00):
morning I went into a meetingand was feeling really good and
peaceful and then I startedcalling again in the afternoon
or texting and I wasn't gettinga response, which is not
uncommon.
When someone's a filmmaker, hecan be in telephone meetings for
hours and hours from whereverhe is.
And so it didn't occur to meuntil about four o'clock, when I
(06:22):
intellectually had no reason tobe upset or worried, but I felt
an incomplete full bodyexperience that something was
wrong.
It was like it's so hard toexplain, but I'll continue to
try.
I could feel in every cell ofmy body that something wasn't
right and I called around likeyou would.
(06:47):
I called his assistant and Isaid when's the last time you
heard from Darcy today?
He said oh not, since aboutnine 30 this morning.
So that felt not okay and Icalled the hospitals and there
was no nothing.
And I called the hotel wheresome of his crew and cast were
also quarantining, because Ithought he might have just gone
(07:09):
and done some work there.
But he didn't.
And he is a person who neverdidn't want to come home.
He was a person who didn't needa lot of time to himself.
He didn't like to go out andhang out with friends after work
.
He got to see his friends atwork and then he just really
wanted to come home and be withour family.
He didn't like to go out andhang out with friends after work
.
He got to see his friends atwork and then he just really
wanted to come home and be withour family.
He really lived for us.
(07:29):
So it was a real indicator thatsomething was off when he
didn't come home, and allthrough the night.
And the weather here in BritishColumbia we live in a temperate
rainforest, so it's reallyreally, really crazy rains at
that time of year, and so it wasall incredibly dramatic.
And I sat on the couch all nightjust waiting to see what would
(07:51):
happen and, under thecircumstances, what I didn't
know at the time was that he hadtaken a drive up this beautiful
highway that runs up along thecoast of the Pacific Ocean,
through the Howe Sound, to anarea nearby called Squamish,
which is near Whistler.
A lot of people, a lot of yourlisteners, will know of Whistler
.
It's a very world ski resort,very close to our home, 45
(08:13):
minutes from our home, and ittook them nine days to find his
car, to begin an actual search,yeah, so, although of course, I
alerted the police right away inthat afternoon, where I had
that full body experience and amissing persons report was done,
they can't really start lookinguntil they know where he was
(08:34):
last seen.
He was last seen in my kitchen,so she was air kissing me
across the kitchen, so they hadto find something more concrete
before they could start anactual, an actual search.
So in retrospect, maria in,intuitively, that's a drive that
I know he would take.
It's relaxing.
He wasn't going to come incontact with anybody.
(08:56):
He was feeling responsible atthis.
At the time, we didn't reallyunderstand the level of harm
with this virus.
We we weren't worried, but hejust didn't want to get in
anyone's face, and so he wouldhave taken that drive with that
beautiful cup of coffee.
I made him listen to some musicand I'm pretty sure that he
would have had to at some point,go to the bathroom, and that's
(09:17):
honestly what I think happened,because where his car was found
was up this logging road, whichis off the main road and it's
quite remote, which seemsominous to somebody else, but to
me it's not, because that'swhere he had spent his early
career filming car commercialsand he knew every back road up
there, and so if he was lookingfor a private place to get away
(09:38):
to you to go to the bathroom andmaybe even just get some fresh
air and a walk, that's where hewould have gone.
Yeah, so nine days after theoriginal sort of exit from the
house, his car was found and forsome reason I don't know how a
2016 luxury Lexus didn't have aGPS, but it didn't, and I don't
(10:06):
know how it took three days orfour days to get the records
from the phone, how they couldsee that the last time I pinged
was one of those final messagesto me around 1015 that morning,
and it took a long time to getcredit card records to which
only showed us that he had beento the gas station, as we
anticipated.
That was part of the plan, andso there I was left to really
(10:32):
try to figure out what was goingto happen moving forward in my
life.
When the search started,finally, there was people from
all over people from our filmcommunity in Vancouver, and then
, of course, the trainedvolunteers that work through
search and rescue operations,and it's very formulaic they
start in one spot and they worktheir way out to a certain point
(10:54):
.
But the forests in BritishColumbia are dense and ferocious
and the rain had beentorrential and there's a really,
really crazy rushing river, themaumquim river, that runs
through that area, and he wasn'tgeared for going for a hike at
all and it was just the mostunthinkable thing.
(11:17):
The most unthinkable thing.
This is a guy who came home tohis family every single day,
lived for us, very happy, humanand and, of course, during the
time during that nine daysbefore they found the car.
You're taking calls from thepolice on constantly and you
have to entertain every singlepotential scenario because they
(11:37):
have to ask all of thesequestions.
Yeah, and that was a realchallenge, right?
Because all of a sudden you'rein this place where you think
you know someone and then you'vegot to answer all of these
questions.
Was he addicted to drugs oralcohol?
The answer was no.
Was he like depressed, or didhe have mental health issues?
The answer was no.
(11:59):
Was he stressed a little?
But he wasn't a, a person, hewas a problem solver.
It wasn't he never.
He wasn't enjoying life in hislittle quarantine, of course,
but it that that wasn'tstressful to that level.
And or, or does he have afamily, like a secret family,
living in central americasomewhere, and he's just fled
(12:21):
the board, crossing the border,right?
So you have to entertain all ofthese things, and so it was a
really excruciating andextraordinary experience to sit
there and wonder what was goingon and and why was this
happening?
Yeah, and that is the storythat I tell in my new book, and
(12:42):
that is the sort of story thatusually sets off the talking
points when I meet with peoplelike you, who are trying to
share cool stuff with theiraudience.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Oh my gosh, that's wow.
First of all, my heart is withyou and I'm sending you so much
love and your kids.
That is so much to take in.
And you're right, like you're,like I know this person I like
and then come up with like allof these scenarios Did I really
(13:13):
know this person?
And then you start questioningall of that.
Years of marriage and together.
It's got to be so excruciatinglyhard for your brain and your
heart to be able to understandwhat was happening yes so when
(13:34):
your husband disappeared and thesearch brought you no answers,
and how did you manage to shiftout of like that initial shock
and start to to move forward?
And because now it's beenalmost four years, yeah, wow,
(13:54):
yeah that's a great question.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
There's multiple sort of pieces that contributed to
my ability to take the nextsteps to move back into life.
I was basically frozen on thecouch for nine days and then,
when the search started, therewas hope.
But to back track a little foryou, I'll share a story that was
very extraordinary and one ofthe most key pieces of how I've
(14:19):
moved forward in my life throughthis whole experience since,
which occurred on my back patioon the third day that he was
gone.
So at this point my cousin andmy sister-in-law had come right
away and they were distractingthe kids because I didn't have
anything to tell the kids.
So I was taking calls and I wastaking calls in closets and
(14:42):
people were holding healingsessions for me on Zoom and I
was hiding places.
I didn't have anything to tellmy kids, so they had
distractions with their aunties,which was lovely.
And on the third morning I wokeup and I was just desperate for
answers.
Right, this is not a person whohas ever not come home.
(15:02):
This was not a guy who wantedto go out for beers after work
with his friends.
He just wanted to be with hiskids.
So I sat on my back patio inthe sun and I was just bracing
myself for the day, knowing theonslaught of text messages and
all the calls I was going tohave to take, and the sun was
shining and I wanted this answerso badly what, where are you?
(15:24):
What's happening?
And at the time, Maria, Ididn't understand my connection
to the oneness.
I was what I would call aperson who believed in a higher
power, but I didn't feel likeparticularly spiritual in my
life yet.
I was curious, but I didn'trealize that we're all conscious
channels.
(15:44):
We all have the ability toreceive information if we're
open to it.
And so I sat on my back deckthat day and I thought I don't
know what to do.
So I'm going to meditate and Idon't know how to meditate but
I'm going to sit still and I'mgoing to close my eyes and I'm
going to feel the sun on my skinand I'm going to just sit and
(16:05):
intentionally ask what ishappening.
And obviously it was such anintense desire that some
information came through for mevery, very quickly, and I sat in
that chair and I had a picture.
I feel like it was a gift givento me and I had a picture.
I feel like it was a gift givento me and it was almost like
(16:27):
you're watching a movie, aclose-up scene, where I could
see Darcy walking, walking,walking, and he's walking into
the frame and I can see him andhe's fine.
He's just looking around.
Maybe his mind is elsewhere,but he's moving into the picture
and there's a tree there aswell, and when he gets the tree
(16:47):
in my vision he just drops outof the picture and that is
probably the most horrifyingvision that you could ever wish
for.
But what happened in my body isthat a flood of peacefulness
came over me?
Yeah, because I think what washappening is I was being shown
the truth that something hadhappened, that he was, he was
(17:10):
not with us anymore, that he hadexited or there was an accident
and and you know and I just theonly way I can describe it is
that no matter how hard thetruth is, no matter how awful
the picture it will always feel.
Matter how hard the truth is,no matter how awful the picture,
it will always feel really goodbecause the truth is truly.
They say.
The truth will set you free.
(17:31):
In this case, I literally hadan experience.
It only lasted about threeminutes.
I feel like I felt what is theGod of my understanding?
Right?
Yeah, I all of a sudden senseda higher power and an ability to
receive a message that wasmeant for me because it was the
truth and I was very intentionalin calling it in, even though I
(17:52):
was not a great meditator.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, I truly believe that and I've said this before.
I feel like when we pray, wepray to God, higher power,
whatever right, we pray towhatever spiritual belief you
have.
Yeah, when we stop and listento our intuition, our gut, our
(18:15):
solar plexus, whatever you wantto call it, it's that spiritual
being speaking back to us.
So, in my belief, it's Godspeaking back to me and the fact
that you can sit there andallow yourself to listen or you
can let the busyness of the daycontinue, to let you ignore that
(18:42):
intuition.
You have that choice and I feellike what felt to me in that
moment that you're stating thisto me is you prayed, right, you
(19:05):
prayed that, that, thatintuition to guide you in his
response or their response yeah,it's so beautiful and
heartbreaking at the same time,but I feel like it does bring a
sense of peace to just knowingthat the person that I love
(19:26):
didn't just up and leave and offto his other life or whatever.
because I would imagine allthose scenarios were playing in
your head with all during thattime and with the conversations
with the police, and I couldjust imagine it feels like a
movie right, like all thosethings are coming in, and then
(19:48):
you took a moment to just say Ineed to just listen.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
How beautiful.
Yeah, and that was definitelylike back to our previous
conversation about this.
That was definitely one of theways that I was able to like
reconcile what was happening andto go back into my heart and be
like I do know him, yeah, and Iknow where he was and, of
course, at this time, his carhas not even been found so for
(20:16):
me to visualize him in the treesand everything that came from
somewhere else.
I had no idea that's where hewas.
So that was horrifying and alsoincredibly helpful, because
when the search did then beginand it was fruitless, it could
have been really easy to justcling to hope, hope, hope, hope.
But I remember, at a certainpoint, feeling like hope is
(20:38):
exhausting and hope puts theoutcome in someone else's hands.
And so, after I was on thecouch for all of that time and
the search was starting to cometo a close, I sat and I really
realized.
With that vision in mind, I didtruly believe that he was gone,
(20:59):
because he was a very capable,very fit human who could have
got himself to safety if it waspossible.
Yeah, and I realized in thatmoment, while I was sitting
there pondering I'm relying on asearch and rescue team, I'm
relying on police, I'm relyingon passersby to find a watch, a
wallet, a set of keys, a phone.
(21:21):
I'm relying on all of thesethings outside of me.
What if those things never cometo fruition?
That's a very, very possiblescenario.
So how does that find me?
That finds me sitting as ahostage for the rest of my life,
at the mercy of other people'sability to find a needle in a
(21:42):
haystack, basically.
And so in that moment I reallyrealized that I needed to come
to a level of acceptance andthat meditation that day, that
vision I had, that experience ofthe God of my understanding,
was really helpful for me toland into acceptance.
And I can't tell anyone how todo that Because it's like a deep
(22:03):
gift gift.
But I think open hearts andintentional thought can really,
like you say, bring in a lot ofinformation if we're willing to
to hear it.
And so at that point I feltthat it was time to really draw
some information on probability.
So, thankfully, one of mycousins was part of the search
party and he's a first responderand he was able to give me,
(22:26):
like you know, a probabilityfactor of if Darcy was alive out
there somehow and he justhadn't been found like what
would the state of his physicalbody be in at this point, and
just weigh the odds a little bit.
And then I had a lot of reallygood support as I prepared to
share the news with my kids.
Lot of really good support as Iprepared to share the news with
(22:48):
my kids.
I knew that was the first thingI was going to have to do to
really be able to start movingforward and head into this sort
of trajectory of grief that wasreally, really new to us.
I knew there was going to be alot of learning coming up, but
definitely that vision and thenmy understanding of not wanting
to be a hostage and reallylanding into acceptance instead
(23:11):
of just like the white knucklingof hope yeah, yeah, yeah.
The alternative was is alwayswaiting for an outcome that's
coming from somewhere else.
And this really started me on ajourney of recognizing that my
safety comes from within me andthe outcomes that happen in my
life come from the choices thatI make.
(23:31):
And in this case, it's theclassic choice, right, am I
going to stay in fear or am Igoing to move into love?
And that's where I landed.
And I think there's a part ofme that is innately an optimist.
But there is also a part of methat in that moment, when I had
the meditation and I saw himbasically fall to his death, I
(23:53):
understood that this washappening for me, not to me, and
that wasn't just an idea that Iplucked out of nowhere.
It's just that every otherthing that was happening in my
life, so every other person thatwas near me in my life at that
time was exactly what I needed.
So it was like I had everythingI needed, except for Darcy, and
(24:18):
I'll give you an example.
At that time, two weeks goes byand a lot of like the bills and
things in our family were in hisname and a lot of our
investments as a filmmakingfamily.
We had investments and all ofthat was in his name.
It's no coincidence to me thatour investment banker lived
literally across the streetwhich was a coincidence and he
(24:38):
had all sorts of ability to helpme manage that.
Technically I wasn't reallyallowed to manage, because when
a body's not found, somebody'snot legally dead.
So I had that in place.
I had that support system thatwas built because of our
relationship with him over theyears.
In the event of having to tellmy kids that their dad had
(25:00):
disappeared and likely died, Isomehow had access to one of the
world's leading traumapsychologists, dr Gabor Mate,
who I was connected to throughmy brother who had made a film
with him, and he literally textsme from Europe, helping me
determine what kind of verbiageto use when I delivered this
news to my kids and what the keypieces were so that the trauma
(25:23):
of the experience wouldn't wouldbe minimized.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, I've had to experience that conversation
with my kids before and it'sdefinitely there's no manual on
how to tell this particular kidthis particular way so that it
minimizes their reaction, theirtrauma, their pain that they go
(25:49):
through, how to manage that pain.
There's no manual to that and Ihave three different kids and
they all reacted differently andthey all had their own way of
dealing and responding to thenews.
It was like how beautiful thatyou had these gifts right, that
(26:14):
God, the universe, whatever, hadthese people in your life for a
reason.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Yeah, another person that came into my life at that
time was a complete stranger andher name is Sophie and she is
an EFT tapping practitioner.
You might be familiar with EFTemotional freedom techniques,
where we use talk therapy andtapping on acupressure points.
I'm a practitioner in this andI was just starting my
(26:41):
practitioner certificate at thetime, so I'm a firm believer in
it.
Now Sophie came out of the blueand she's a very gifted mentor
in that and she tapped with meeight, 12, 15 times a day over
the telephone to help me processand continue to process instead
of allowing that traumaticenergy to be stuck within me.
So you know that was superhelpful.
(27:04):
But, like, everywhere I waslooking, I had exactly what I
needed.
The only thing I didn't havewith Darcy Right.
And so when you see what'shappening here, everything that
I need is being provided to me,including a vision right, which
was was absolutely validated byanother very gifted psychic
(27:27):
medium three months later who Igot connected with out of the
blue, who showed me the exactsame story with far more detail.
But, like when all of thosethings are happening, you're
like there's a reason that thisis happening, and I know that
can be really hard to hear andtrust me.
I went up and down with that.
It was like maybe this is justrandom stuff that happens in the
(27:48):
world and then I'd go maybeit's not, maybe it's meant for
me and it took me a long time tocome to realize.
But the way that my life hasunfolded since, the way that
it's changed, the way that theway I parent my kids has changed
I would never have wished forthis experience for any of us.
But do I wish that I was theperson that I am now?
(28:09):
Do I love my life the way Ilive it now?
Yes, yeah.
And if that situation hadn'thappened, I like to think that I
was growing and expanding, butunder the circumstances I got
dropped, drop, kicked into aspiritual awakening and
expansion and I'm not going tonot feel deep gratitude for that
(28:29):
because acceptance, right, thatgot me up and moving.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah, I resonate so much with that and, yeah, I
agree 100%.
I think that it's unfortunatecircumstances that have allowed
us to grow and and do I feel mykids to hurt?
(28:55):
No, obviously not.
We don't want that.
However, do I think thatthey've grown because of that
pain?
Absolutely yes, and so I don'tfind, I don't see it as there's
a reason for it.
Yeah, that saying of everythinghappens for a reason.
I used to say that all the time, and there's an author that
(29:19):
I've followed for many, manyyears now and she said something
one time and I was just likeyeah, that makes much more sense
.
There shouldn't be a reasonthat anything happens like that.
Anything tragic happens.
However, we can find purposeand meaning behind those things
that happen, and then thatchanges everything.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Indeed, and I agree with that a hundred percent.
It's that sort of just bringsme to what I always want people
to take away from ourconversations that I've been
having, or from for anybody whoreads my book.
What I always want them to knowis that we have a choice in any
situation, even the mostadverse situation, the most
(30:06):
unthinkable thing, to find themeaning in it.
And it's not always easy rightaway.
And so I would say, with thedeepest empathy for people who
are going through this, whereit's fresh, this wasn't.
I didn't find this meaninginstantly.
I'm almost four years into thisthing and I'm still rewriting
the narrative of grief for me,but what I know for sure is that
(30:30):
we have a choice at any time,and it's always love or fear,
right, yeah, just like it was.
Am I going to be a hostage oram I going to take control and
find a way to move on, find away to take baby steps to move
forward, just getting my kidsback and back to school and like
little life things?
And then I have made the choiceand it sounds like you have as
(30:52):
well to find a way to make itmeaningful, not just for
ourselves but for other people.
And when my and not everybodyfeels like they want to share
their story, and that's okay.
Not everybody feels like theywant to share their story, and
that's okay.
I'm a person who, in times ofadversity, have always found
that sharing my story brought meconnection with other people
(31:12):
even though no two stories arethe same and connection to me
has always been the fastestpathway to peace.
Yeah.
And, for example, we struggledwith fertility for a long time.
So my husband and I made ashort movie of our IVF journey
to help other people, and ourson was born with a brain injury
.
So we live with a child who hasCP and I tend to like, want to
(31:34):
speak on panels with familiesaround that and share our story.
That is just the way that I am.
That's my nature.
So in.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
I think we're gonna be like best friends.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yay, because I feel the same way.
Yeah, and in this situation Ifelt obviously called right.
From very early on I was like,okay, there's something here and
I need to just get into theexperience of healing to begin
with.
But at some point I know thatthere's gonna be a way for me to
(32:07):
find some meaning in it and I.
It was solidified for me abouttwo weeks after my kids had
received the news for me.
We were having a bedtime cry.
It was that time of night whereyou that all the feels come and
my son Miller was hugging meand his dad was.
Dad, wasn't just his dad, hisdad was his best friend, his dad
(32:29):
was his champion.
His dad was the one who waslike meh, brain injury, that's
not gonna stop you from anythingkid.
He was just like, lived for thatkid right.
And so my son was hugging meand he was crying and he said to
me mom, is this the worst thingthat's ever going to happen to
us?
And I said that's a hardquestion, right, because I don't
(32:51):
want to lie to my kids.
And I said I honestly can'timagine anything harder than
this, but I also don't ever knowwhat's going to happen in life.
Uncertainty is a massive partof our lives.
Going to happen in life.
Uncertainty is a massive partof our lives.
That's up to us to find our ownsense of peace so that we can
handle things when they come ourway.
(33:12):
And he said when we get throughthis healing, we're going to
help so many people.
And I was like, yes, let's try,right.
And for me, I'm just, I'm awriter and a speaker and I have
always, just naturally, lovedwriting and I use journaling to
(33:32):
detangle a lot of my thoughts,and that was a big part of this
experience.
And so when I thought about howto find meaning, I was like
writing is a big thing for me,so if I'm detangling it and
journaling it, I wonder ifthere's value in this for anyone
else.
And I remember being out and itwas Christmas 2020.
And I had a friend who wasgoing through a health diagnosis
(33:54):
and a friend going through adivorce and the world was going
through this massive change andI was like, wait a second.
One day things are one way andthe next they're another.
One day my husband was there,the next day he wasn't.
One day all of us could go tothe movies together or go out
(34:16):
and grab a drink, and the nextday we couldn't.
One day someone doesn't havebreast cancer, the next day they
do.
And I was like, wait a second.
I know nobody feels equipped tohelp each other with loss
because we think, oh, my husbanddidn't walk into the woods and
die, no, but you do no loss.
And I was like this is crazy.
(34:37):
We are connected, we areinnately capable of helping each
other here in one way or theother.
We are all experiencing loss,and that just prompted me to
start sharing our story in realtime in a blog, and I started to
become connected with peopleand created a small community
called the Luminous HeartHealing Collective, where we
(34:57):
talk about loss of all kinds andwe talk about this idea of
closure.
Oh, how's Tara going to move onwithout any closure.
A body's never found, nobodyknows why cancer chooses their
body.
Nobody knows like whatconversation went wrong that led
their relationship off therails, that to a point where the
differences were irreconcilable.
(35:18):
We can stay connected and focuson the things that are the same
about our stories and reallyhelp each other that way, and so
that's essentially like why Idecided to then take it and
write a book that incorporatessome of the blog posts that are
created for some of the ideasthat I present in the story, but
it also tells the story oflosing Darcy and the.
(35:40):
You know everything that came asa result of that for us and you
know I said to my kids whenthis happened you know I never
would have ever thought thatthis would happen in our lives
and I would never wish it onanyone and I don't wish that you
didn't have more time with yourdad.
But most kids never have a dadlike that for one day of their
(36:03):
lives yeah and so we're gonnafocus on that because, like,
he's here and he's in us yeah,he left his mark oh yeah, our,
our lives are enriched for thehaving had the experience of him
, and if we can stay in thatkind of place most of the time,
then our choice that we'remaking in all situations is over
(36:25):
fear, yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Oh, I love that so much.
I connect on so many levelswith your story.
I have this conversation withall of the people that I speak
to, these crazy odds.
I was a twin in my mom's belly.
My mom had a miscarriage in the80s and I stayed.
(36:52):
The survival rate of that atthat time was very, very low and
so I'm the surviving twin.
So right in there, from inutero, like my life had greater
purpose and I, looking back, Ifeel like all the things that I
(37:19):
went through, I've had cancerfour times.
I went through infertility.
I've always spoken about it.
I my ex-boyfriend that was atthe time we weren't together but
he was like my best friend andhe was like that person that I
was going to grow old with.
So even if we weren't togetherat the time because of distance,
we were going to grow oldtogether.
So that time didn't matter thatwe weren't together.
(37:40):
And he was in my kid's life forsix years and that was their
stepdad and that's who theythought that we're going to have
him for the rest of forever.
And at age 35, he dies of amassive heart attack.
And it's that conversation Likehow do you tell your kids that
(38:04):
this person that they love, thatthey just spoke to, they just
had a FaceTime, they just gavehim all the updates of school
and how we're doing and all ofthe things, and you have to tell
them that this person is nolonger here, this person's no
(38:26):
longer here, and when youyourself are experiencing this
like devastating loss becausethe blueprint that you had in
your brain for what you weregoing to grow old with is no
longer, and so I've been veryopen about my experience, but I
just I felt, like the peoplethat I, that that have listened
to my story, the way that I feellike people can connect to
(38:48):
stories and see it just like yousaid, like your friend, that
that was had the health scareand all of this was connected
somehow in loss.
The way that I feel like peoplecould see their against all
odds moment is if I'm talking toyou and I'm like, oh, my god,
yeah, I totally connect withthat, and it's me connecting to
(39:09):
somebody else's story which Idon't know, maybe it's a
psychological thing, but if Ican, if I feel like if I can
connect to your story and itdoesn't have a lot of the same
fact, a lot of the same maincharacteristics, except for that
underlying characteristic thatwe don't physically see, which
(39:31):
is loss in this case.
If I can connect to your story,then that means that whoever's
listening could connect to yourstory and see how life can
happen for them and not to them,and see that they've already
survived their worst day and seethat they have that strength
within them, just like you doand just like I do.
(39:53):
And I had this vision or thisguidance in a quantum healing
session that I had with my Reikipractitioner, reiki master, and
we had this moment and I was ina meditative state and my
higher self told me that I wasgoing to have a podcast and it
(40:15):
was going to be called AgainstAll Odds and not even.
Even.
It was like 11 months after Icreated this podcast and it I'm
in the second season and I'mlike speaking to these amazing
individuals and I'm like, oh myGod, I understand, like how,
(40:37):
maybe me not knowing anythingabout podcasting me, not knowing
anything about editing me, notknowing any, it doesn't matter,
I started messy and I've refinedthings and people can connect
to these stories and there'spurpose behind it and the fact
that people can see how lifehappened for them and not to
(40:59):
them.
That's where the purpose behindthis is, because maybe someone
didn't experience the same kindof loss you did, but losses all
the time losses with a career,losses with.
There's so much ways that weexperience loss and if we can
learn how to overcome thesethings in a way that has helped,
(41:24):
that will help us grow, howbeautiful is that, no matter
what kind of loss you'reexperiencing totally, you and I
definitely speak the samelanguage.
I told you, I felt this energyas soon as it was crazy.
I can't even explain it.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
It's funny.
A lot of people have asked ohso you're doing like quite a lot
of podcast interviews and doingsome summits and stuff.
How does it feel to talk aboutthis story all the time?
Because, like, it is a bummerof a story.
What's not a bummer is no, itis like having this evidence,
like just sitting with you orsitting with some of the other
people who have interviewed meor talked with me of late.
(42:04):
Is it's validating what I knowto be true, which is literally
the subtitle of my book.
And this is not a plug, but no,totally plug, because when
you're choosing, like, a titlefor your book and a subtitle,
the title can be whatever youwant Mine's snapshots of my
broken heart, which refers tothe blog, curated blog posts,
their snapshots, their likeideas, things that were
(42:25):
happening in the time and thenfor the subtitle, you have to
really tell people what youbelieve and what they're going
to learn from the book, and somine says how we find peace and
connection when we choose to belost through the lens of love,
and when I talk to people likeyou and you have that instant
connection to me, likeenergetically.
(42:47):
This is just, it just validates.
That is the truth and it justfeels so good and I feel so
grateful for this conversationand because, like you and me, we
didn't even know anything abouteach other and yet we have,
like, massive things in commonand little things in common and,
to be honest, it's noteverybody's calling to be
storytellers, but when you actupon that intuitive guidance,
(43:11):
whatever it is your guidance wasto start a podcast knowing
nothing about it.
Right yeah, when you can justjump into the creative process
of whatever is being asked ofyou that is purposeful, and it
doesn't matter.
It doesn't have to be big orsmall or perfect, it doesn't
have to be a book or a podcast,it could be anything, it could
(43:31):
be something within people'scommunity.
But, like when we can hear thatintuitive guidance, it's just
such a gift because it doesstart to help it us.
It does start to help us dealwith the uncertainties and the
adversities of life better, andI do.
I am really grateful for youand your storytelling on your
podcast, because I thinkstorytelling and sharing really
(43:55):
allows other people to stepforward if they feel called to
share theirs as well, and that'swhere connection comes from.
So, yeah, so grateful for thistoday.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Oh my gosh, I'm like it's so funny because, as you're
talking, I'm like choking backtears, I'm like holding it in,
but it's because this feels sopurposeful and it feels so right
, and I don't even know whereit's gonna go, right, I don't
(44:28):
know where, I don't have thisgrand vision of where it's gonna
go, but I truly feel like it'sgonna touch somebody that needed
to hear it and that is all ofthe validation I guess you could
call it that I need in order tosay all of this work was so
(44:50):
worth it, because this story isgoing to resonate so greatly
with so many.
I just, oh, I'm, I cannot waitto read your book.
So plug away.
I'm so excited Because I feellike it is something that it's
(45:10):
number one.
You storytell beautifully andthat's a gift in itself.
I really, truly feel like thepeople that I guess heed the
call of their purpose.
It doesn't matter the darknessthat's happening around.
(45:31):
They are that beacon of light.
That fear is the darkness andthat light is.
What you chose is love and thatlighthouse that you're just
showing people, because it'slike that constant battle
between fear and love in our ownheart and mind, especially
(45:54):
during things that we've lost orpeople that we've lost, or when
we experience that you areliterally being the beacon.
And that doesn't mean that it'seasy.
It's actually, I think,sometimes a little harder,
because it's like the sense ofresponsibility on top of the
(46:14):
fact that we are feeling allthese feelings.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
One thing that I think I can see as a similarity
is, I think, when, like I did, Ifelt like the creative process
of blogging and then creating mybook as well, which took a
really long time, has beenreally a selfish gift to myself,
and I think because of that,it's allowed me to step away
(46:38):
from the need for perfection andthe need to feel responsible
for how other people receivewhat I'm writing or sharing.
And I can see that with you aswell, like your delivery is so
authentic and that the creativeprocess has value in it itself.
And this is like a whole otherpodcast episode which we should
totally get together for.
But I believe in the big magicthat comes from powerful create
(47:02):
the creative process without,without a need for an outcome.
Right, so you don't have tohave the most listeners, the
most followers, you don't haveto have the most readers, you
don't have to have a bestselleron your hands.
But guess what happens when youcreate from such an authentic
space of wanting to healyourself?
First of all, you heal andsecond of all, I know in your
(47:23):
case, you have a lot of peoplegaining a lot of goodness from
your podcast, and I did hitbestseller in all three of my
categories and that was notthrough marketing.
Yeah, that's not what it wasfrom.
It was.
Somebody asked me what mymarketing strategy was to hit
bestseller and I said prayer,please.
When we do things authenticallybecause we want to share, we do
things authentically because wewant to share, we do things
(47:45):
authentically.
It doesn't have to be on thison a broad scale and it doesn't
have to be on a screen or onpages.
It can be in in community, withthe way we interact with our
neighbors or whatever, but itall comes down to choosing to go
with it.
And it's so cool how fast yourpurpose became so clear because
you were willing to listen.
And then here you are andyou're finding healing through
(48:08):
it.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Oh my gosh it is the coolest thing.
I did 36 episodes in my firstyear, which I was like he told
me he was like when I firststarted, my boyfriend said,
statistically, new podcastersget up to eight episodes and
then they quit.
And I was like, okay, great,thanks, that's an awesome
(48:29):
statistic.
I am the less than 1% chance.
So let's go Right.
I did 36 episodes and that initself I was like, oh, I wish I
would have done one every week.
I had life happen my daughtergot hit by a car, like just a
bunch of things, Right, yeah.
And so when I stopped seasonone and I was already in the
(48:52):
process of I had one episode forseason two that I was editing
and so forth I just told him Iwas like I just, I really just
want, I really just want to havemore than one episode.
I wish I had the backlog offour so that I'm not like
recording and editing and makingit live the same week, cause
(49:15):
that's a lot.
And I found this Facebook groupand put a post up there and you
are my 28th or something likethat recording and I've already
uploaded two episodes of seasontwo.
It is craziness what happenswhen you know in your heart that
(49:36):
you're doing the right thing.
And then, all of a sudden, youask for what you need or what
you want, and it's in abundance.
Here you go, yes, and it's justso beautiful because there is
it, and I would ultimately justlove to have an episode a week,
(50:00):
right, just for the whole year.
That would be amazing.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, thisJust for the whole year, that
would be amazing.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
And I'm like oh my gosh, this is like a lot more
possible when you think about it, not only through reaching out
to get people from a Facebookgroup, to get people.
But me alone, we couldliterally spin off 10 episodes
from my book alone If we brokeit down into chunks and the
steps and the guide cycle ofdivine timing and all the things
that I talk about in there.
Right, we could really reallydive into all of those things
(50:28):
and you probably have the sameexperience with all of your
guests where there's so muchmore.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
Oh my gosh, I could talk to you forever.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
So this is like abundance, and so just let it
soak in, because the energy ofyour podcast is so beautiful, so
I really appreciate you havingme.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Oh my gosh, thank you so much so I'm gonna plug your
book.
It'll be in the show notes,it'll be everywhere I'm.
I feel like, once I read yourbook myself, I'm messaging you
because we're doing're right.
It just feels so connected andso purposeful and this had a
grander purpose.
I am definitely putting in allof your information, how to
(51:14):
reach you and everything onsocial media and so forth.
Tara, this was amazing.
I am sending you and yourfamily so much love, truly from
my heart, and thank you for theway you told your story.
It was beautiful and my heartis with you and I'm so excited
to to continue to connect withyou listeners.
(51:36):
Thank you for listening.
I hope you got as much out oftoday as I know that I did Just
wait because we're going to haveher on more.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
I just can't wait.
Thank you so much for your kindwords.
I really received that withgratitude and I feel that we are
very connected and I would loveto connect again.
Definitely read the book,because I feel like it's really
going to land for you, like itwill for a lot of people.
It's definitely a book that wecan pick up over time as well as
we experience different typesof loss, and there's some really
(52:07):
cool tools in there and, yeah,I look forward to diving into
some of that with you after.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
Awesome.
I cannot wait.
Thank you so much, listeners,for jumping on with us today.
I hope you have an amazing restof your day.
Peace out, guys.
Love your life.
Bye-bye.
Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Less Than
1% Chance podcast with your host, Maria Aponte, where we will
hear stories of incrediblepeople thriving against all odds
, and my hope is that we can allsee how life is always
happening for us, even when weare the Less Than 1% Chance.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's all okay.
Welcome back to, Against AllOdds, the Less Than 1% Chance
podcast with your host, MariaAponte.
I'm so excited for you guys tobe back.
I have an amazing individual.
I already and it's all like Ijust met her, but I feel the
energy, and when you can feelthat vibrational energy just
(00:42):
elevate, you know that you arein for something amazing.
So let's meet Tara Wild.
She is a bestselling author,speaker, coach and creator of
the Luminous Heart HealingCollective.
Her candid writing andstorytelling leads people on a
path to harmony and connectionas she guides them towards
(01:03):
understanding the wisdom and thegifts that come from adversity
and the universal experience ofloss.
Listen, my heart is already soready for this, just by saying
that quick sentence, because Ifeel like people come into your
life for a reason, a season or alifetime, and we are going to
(01:23):
get so many good nuggets today.
So welcome, Tara, I am soexcited to have you on.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Thanks for having me, maria.
I'm looking forward to speakingwith you.
Yeah, share your thoughts withyour audience today.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I love it so much.
Give us a little bit ofbackground.
What is your against all oddsstory, or what do you feel we
need to hear from your story andguide us as to how you got to
where you are today?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Okay, that's a loaded question, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I know Mine is too, so I understand.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
It's like where to start.
However, I guess I would startwith the most recent story of my
life, that's been informing theway that I move through the
world and the way that I'mparenting my children and what
I'm mostly talking about onpodcasts right now because of
the publication of my recentbook.
It is sort of a memoir, a bookfor helping people find tools to
(02:23):
deal with adversity and,specifically, with the universal
experience of loss, which Idon't believe just pertains to
the death of a loved one or afamily member.
I've been on quite a journeywith it since 2020.
In September 2020, after theworld had been on a global
lockdown for quite a while myhusband and I were living in
(02:45):
Vancouver, canada, with our twokids we had our son was about
nine at the time and ourdaughter was five and my husband
was a filmmaker working in thefilm industry there, and one of
his projects was the first oneto begin once the global
lockdown had opened up.
Now, it wasn't really maybenecessarily very easy to make a
(03:07):
film at that time and, of course, as soon as they started
working with this big cast andcrew, everybody was still
unclear about this virus andwhat was happening and how to
deal with it, and naturally,there was a little outbreak on
the set.
Yeah, and my husband's name wasDarcy and he and I were not
worried at all about the virusand yeah or anything.
(03:29):
But he did get.
He did test positive and theyhad to go on a little hiatus.
In those days where we livedthey would have the person who
was infected, even though he hadno symptoms, quarantine in a
different space in the house.
So we had been in quarantinefor about a week and he was
upstairs in the house and thekids and I were downstairs and
he was feeling pretty bad aboutus all landing back in
(03:51):
quarantine after we finally wereabout to get out.
Yeah, I was like working on someprojects and everything got
shut down.
Anyways, we were.
He had a little bit of cabinfever, right.
I invited him to take a walkone day or just get out of the
house.
It had been about a week and hewas trying to figure out how to
get the show back on the roadand it was all his
responsibility, which was fine.
(04:12):
He was not a person who gotstressed about work.
He was a very seasoned,seasoned film producer.
But what ended up happening wasI was encouraging him to get out
, just to get some fresh air,and, like, really think about,
is this a project that's worthdoing?
We work for himself.
Do you need the money?
Probably not, maybe.
We were just having thesebeautiful conversations from our
(04:33):
upstairs, downstairs kind ofsituations and I said why don't
you just go out and catch yourbreath tomorrow?
You're not going to infectanyone with the deadly virus.
Just go, go, just get out.
So he felt really reluctantabout it because he felt bad
about us being trapped in thehouse and whatever.
But I was like it's fine, gotake your time, whatever.
So what ended up happening washe left the house that morning
(04:55):
with I don't think he even had acoat, he was just wearing his
like clothes.
He didn't really have adestination.
He thought he might pop intohis office and make sure
everything was okay there.
He was gonna go get gas in thecar, but he didn't go out with
much of a plan and he never cameback wow so that was the most
(05:18):
unthinkable thing that couldever possibly happen and it was
a perfect storm.
So all morning him and I weretexting each other, but what we
were doing is we were textingeach other about this beautiful
conversation we've been havingthe night before about what's
worth doing is the stress of ajob like we're like, yeah,
having really good conversations, like a lot of people did
(05:39):
during the pandemic time whenthey had time together.
A lot of people were workingthrough stuff and him and I were
figuring out the trajectory ofwhat was next for us.
So we were talking about thatand what we weren't talking
about was where he was and I hadjust made him a cup of coffee
and sent him off, and we textedand texted and about 1015 that
(06:00):
morning I went into a meetingand was feeling really good and
peaceful and then I startedcalling again in the afternoon
or texting and I wasn't gettinga response, which is not
uncommon.
When someone's a filmmaker, hecan be in telephone meetings for
hours and hours from whereverhe is.
And so it didn't occur to meuntil about four o'clock, when I
(06:22):
intellectually had no reason tobe upset or worried, but I felt
an incomplete full bodyexperience that something was
wrong.
It was like it's so hard toexplain, but I'll continue to
try.
I could feel in every cell ofmy body that something wasn't
right and I called around likeyou would.
(06:47):
I called his assistant and Isaid when's the last time you
heard from Darcy today?
He said oh not, since aboutnine 30 this morning.
So that felt not okay and Icalled the hospitals and there
was no nothing.
And I called the hotel wheresome of his crew and cast were
also quarantining, because Ithought he might have just gone
(07:09):
and done some work there.
But he didn't.
And he is a person who neverdidn't want to come home.
He was a person who didn't needa lot of time to himself.
He didn't like to go out andhang out with friends after work
.
He got to see his friends atwork and then he just really
wanted to come home and be withour family.
He didn't like to go out andhang out with friends after work
.
He got to see his friends atwork and then he just really
wanted to come home and be withour family.
He really lived for us.
(07:29):
So it was a real indicator thatsomething was off when he
didn't come home, and allthrough the night.
And the weather here in BritishColumbia we live in a temperate
rainforest, so it's reallyreally, really crazy rains at
that time of year, and so it wasall incredibly dramatic.
And I sat on the couch all nightjust waiting to see what would
(07:51):
happen and, under thecircumstances, what I didn't
know at the time was that he hadtaken a drive up this beautiful
highway that runs up along thecoast of the Pacific Ocean,
through the Howe Sound, to anarea nearby called Squamish,
which is near Whistler.
A lot of people, a lot of yourlisteners, will know of Whistler
.
It's a very world ski resort,very close to our home, 45
(08:13):
minutes from our home, and ittook them nine days to find his
car, to begin an actual search,yeah, so, although of course, I
alerted the police right away inthat afternoon, where I had
that full body experience and amissing persons report was done,
they can't really start lookinguntil they know where he was
(08:34):
last seen.
He was last seen in my kitchen,so she was air kissing me
across the kitchen, so they hadto find something more concrete
before they could start anactual, an actual search.
So in retrospect, maria in,intuitively, that's a drive that
I know he would take.
It's relaxing.
He wasn't going to come incontact with anybody.
(08:56):
He was feeling responsible atthis.
At the time, we didn't reallyunderstand the level of harm
with this virus.
We we weren't worried, but hejust didn't want to get in
anyone's face, and so he wouldhave taken that drive with that
beautiful cup of coffee.
I made him listen to some musicand I'm pretty sure that he
would have had to at some point,go to the bathroom, and that's
(09:17):
honestly what I think happened,because where his car was found
was up this logging road, whichis off the main road and it's
quite remote, which seemsominous to somebody else, but to
me it's not, because that'swhere he had spent his early
career filming car commercialsand he knew every back road up
there, and so if he was lookingfor a private place to get away
(09:38):
to you to go to the bathroom andmaybe even just get some fresh
air and a walk, that's where hewould have gone.
Yeah, so nine days after theoriginal sort of exit from the
house, his car was found and forsome reason I don't know how a
2016 luxury Lexus didn't have aGPS, but it didn't, and I don't
(10:06):
know how it took three days orfour days to get the records
from the phone, how they couldsee that the last time I pinged
was one of those final messagesto me around 1015 that morning,
and it took a long time to getcredit card records to which
only showed us that he had beento the gas station, as we
anticipated.
That was part of the plan, andso there I was left to really
(10:32):
try to figure out what was goingto happen moving forward in my
life.
When the search started,finally, there was people from
all over people from our filmcommunity in Vancouver, and then
, of course, the trainedvolunteers that work through
search and rescue operations,and it's very formulaic they
start in one spot and they worktheir way out to a certain point
(10:54):
.
But the forests in BritishColumbia are dense and ferocious
and the rain had beentorrential and there's a really,
really crazy rushing river, themaumquim river, that runs
through that area, and he wasn'tgeared for going for a hike at
all and it was just the mostunthinkable thing.
(11:17):
The most unthinkable thing.
This is a guy who came home tohis family every single day,
lived for us, very happy, humanand and, of course, during the
time during that nine daysbefore they found the car.
You're taking calls from thepolice on constantly and you
have to entertain every singlepotential scenario because they
(11:37):
have to ask all of thesequestions.
Yeah, and that was a realchallenge, right?
Because all of a sudden you'rein this place where you think
you know someone and then you'vegot to answer all of these
questions.
Was he addicted to drugs oralcohol?
The answer was no.
Was he like depressed, or didhe have mental health issues?
The answer was no.
(11:59):
Was he stressed a little?
But he wasn't a, a person, hewas a problem solver.
It wasn't he never.
He wasn't enjoying life in hislittle quarantine, of course,
but it that that wasn'tstressful to that level.
And or, or does he have afamily, like a secret family,
living in central americasomewhere, and he's just fled
(12:21):
the board, crossing the border,right?
So you have to entertain all ofthese things, and so it was a
really excruciating andextraordinary experience to sit
there and wonder what was goingon and and why was this
happening?
Yeah, and that is the storythat I tell in my new book, and
(12:42):
that is the sort of story thatusually sets off the talking
points when I meet with peoplelike you, who are trying to
share cool stuff with theiraudience.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Oh my gosh, that's wow.
First of all, my heart is withyou and I'm sending you so much
love and your kids.
That is so much to take in.
And you're right, like you're,like I know this person I like
and then come up with like allof these scenarios Did I really
(13:13):
know this person?
And then you start questioningall of that.
Years of marriage and together.
It's got to be so excruciatinglyhard for your brain and your
heart to be able to understandwhat was happening yes so when
(13:34):
your husband disappeared and thesearch brought you no answers,
and how did you manage to shiftout of like that initial shock
and start to to move forward?
And because now it's beenalmost four years, yeah, wow,
(13:54):
yeah that's a great question.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
There's multiple sort of pieces that contributed to
my ability to take the nextsteps to move back into life.
I was basically frozen on thecouch for nine days and then,
when the search started, therewas hope.
But to back track a little foryou, I'll share a story that was
very extraordinary and one ofthe most key pieces of how I've
(14:19):
moved forward in my life throughthis whole experience since,
which occurred on my back patioon the third day that he was
gone.
So at this point my cousin andmy sister-in-law had come right
away and they were distractingthe kids because I didn't have
anything to tell the kids.
So I was taking calls and I wastaking calls in closets and
(14:42):
people were holding healingsessions for me on Zoom and I
was hiding places.
I didn't have anything to tellmy kids, so they had
distractions with their aunties,which was lovely.
And on the third morning I wokeup and I was just desperate for
answers.
Right, this is not a person whohas ever not come home.
(15:02):
This was not a guy who wantedto go out for beers after work
with his friends.
He just wanted to be with hiskids.
So I sat on my back patio inthe sun and I was just bracing
myself for the day, knowing theonslaught of text messages and
all the calls I was going tohave to take, and the sun was
shining and I wanted this answerso badly what, where are you?
(15:24):
What's happening?
And at the time, Maria, Ididn't understand my connection
to the oneness.
I was what I would call aperson who believed in a higher
power, but I didn't feel likeparticularly spiritual in my
life yet.
I was curious, but I didn'trealize that we're all conscious
channels.
(15:44):
We all have the ability toreceive information if we're
open to it.
And so I sat on my back deckthat day and I thought I don't
know what to do.
So I'm going to meditate and Idon't know how to meditate but
I'm going to sit still and I'mgoing to close my eyes and I'm
going to feel the sun on my skinand I'm going to just sit and
(16:05):
intentionally ask what ishappening.
And obviously it was such anintense desire that some
information came through for mevery, very quickly, and I sat in
that chair and I had a picture.
I feel like it was a gift givento me and I had a picture.
I feel like it was a gift givento me and it was almost like
(16:27):
you're watching a movie, aclose-up scene, where I could
see Darcy walking, walking,walking, and he's walking into
the frame and I can see him andhe's fine.
He's just looking around.
Maybe his mind is elsewhere,but he's moving into the picture
and there's a tree there aswell, and when he gets the tree
(16:47):
in my vision he just drops outof the picture and that is
probably the most horrifyingvision that you could ever wish
for.
But what happened in my body isthat a flood of peacefulness
came over me?
Yeah, because I think what washappening is I was being shown
the truth that something hadhappened, that he was, he was
(17:10):
not with us anymore, that he hadexited or there was an accident
and and you know and I just theonly way I can describe it is
that no matter how hard thetruth is, no matter how awful
the picture it will always feel.
Matter how hard the truth is,no matter how awful the picture,
it will always feel really goodbecause the truth is truly.
They say.
The truth will set you free.
(17:31):
In this case, I literally hadan experience.
It only lasted about threeminutes.
I feel like I felt what is theGod of my understanding?
Right?
Yeah, I all of a sudden senseda higher power and an ability to
receive a message that wasmeant for me because it was the
truth and I was very intentionalin calling it in, even though I
(17:52):
was not a great meditator.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, I truly believe that and I've said this before.
I feel like when we pray, wepray to God, higher power,
whatever right, we pray towhatever spiritual belief you
have.
Yeah, when we stop and listento our intuition, our gut, our
(18:15):
solar plexus, whatever you wantto call it, it's that spiritual
being speaking back to us.
So, in my belief, it's Godspeaking back to me and the fact
that you can sit there andallow yourself to listen or you
can let the busyness of the daycontinue, to let you ignore that
(18:42):
intuition.
You have that choice and I feellike what felt to me in that
moment that you're stating thisto me is you prayed, right, you
(19:05):
prayed that, that, thatintuition to guide you in his
response or their response yeah,it's so beautiful and
heartbreaking at the same time,but I feel like it does bring a
sense of peace to just knowingthat the person that I love
(19:26):
didn't just up and leave and offto his other life or whatever.
because I would imagine allthose scenarios were playing in
your head with all during thattime and with the conversations
with the police, and I couldjust imagine it feels like a
movie right, like all thosethings are coming in, and then
(19:48):
you took a moment to just say Ineed to just listen.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
How beautiful.
Yeah, and that was definitelylike back to our previous
conversation about this.
That was definitely one of theways that I was able to like
reconcile what was happening andto go back into my heart and be
like I do know him, yeah, and Iknow where he was and, of
course, at this time, his carhas not even been found so for
(20:16):
me to visualize him in the treesand everything that came from
somewhere else.
I had no idea that's where hewas.
So that was horrifying and alsoincredibly helpful, because
when the search did then beginand it was fruitless, it could
have been really easy to justcling to hope, hope, hope, hope.
But I remember, at a certainpoint, feeling like hope is
(20:38):
exhausting and hope puts theoutcome in someone else's hands.
And so, after I was on thecouch for all of that time and
the search was starting to cometo a close, I sat and I really
realized.
With that vision in mind, I didtruly believe that he was gone,
(20:59):
because he was a very capable,very fit human who could have
got himself to safety if it waspossible.
Yeah, and I realized in thatmoment, while I was sitting
there pondering I'm relying on asearch and rescue team, I'm
relying on police, I'm relyingon passersby to find a watch, a
wallet, a set of keys, a phone.
(21:21):
I'm relying on all of thesethings outside of me.
What if those things never cometo fruition?
That's a very, very possiblescenario.
So how does that find me?
That finds me sitting as ahostage for the rest of my life,
at the mercy of other people'sability to find a needle in a
(21:42):
haystack, basically.
And so in that moment I reallyrealized that I needed to come
to a level of acceptance andthat meditation that day, that
vision I had, that experience ofthe God of my understanding,
was really helpful for me toland into acceptance.
And I can't tell anyone how todo that Because it's like a deep
(22:03):
gift gift.
But I think open hearts andintentional thought can really,
like you say, bring in a lot ofinformation if we're willing to
to hear it.
And so at that point I feltthat it was time to really draw
some information on probability.
So, thankfully, one of mycousins was part of the search
party and he's a first responderand he was able to give me,
(22:26):
like you know, a probabilityfactor of if Darcy was alive out
there somehow and he justhadn't been found like what
would the state of his physicalbody be in at this point, and
just weigh the odds a little bit.
And then I had a lot of reallygood support as I prepared to
share the news with my kids.
Lot of really good support as Iprepared to share the news with
(22:48):
my kids.
I knew that was the first thingI was going to have to do to
really be able to start movingforward and head into this sort
of trajectory of grief that wasreally, really new to us.
I knew there was going to be alot of learning coming up, but
definitely that vision and thenmy understanding of not wanting
to be a hostage and reallylanding into acceptance instead
(23:11):
of just like the white knucklingof hope yeah, yeah, yeah.
The alternative was is alwayswaiting for an outcome that's
coming from somewhere else.
And this really started me on ajourney of recognizing that my
safety comes from within me andthe outcomes that happen in my
life come from the choices thatI make.
(23:31):
And in this case, it's theclassic choice, right, am I
going to stay in fear or am Igoing to move into love?
And that's where I landed.
And I think there's a part ofme that is innately an optimist.
But there is also a part of methat in that moment, when I had
the meditation and I saw himbasically fall to his death, I
(23:53):
understood that this washappening for me, not to me, and
that wasn't just an idea that Iplucked out of nowhere.
It's just that every otherthing that was happening in my
life, so every other person thatwas near me in my life at that
time was exactly what I needed.
So it was like I had everythingI needed, except for Darcy, and
(24:18):
I'll give you an example.
At that time, two weeks goes byand a lot of like the bills and
things in our family were in hisname and a lot of our
investments as a filmmakingfamily.
We had investments and all ofthat was in his name.
It's no coincidence to me thatour investment banker lived
literally across the streetwhich was a coincidence and he
(24:38):
had all sorts of ability to helpme manage that.
Technically I wasn't reallyallowed to manage, because when
a body's not found, somebody'snot legally dead.
So I had that in place.
I had that support system thatwas built because of our
relationship with him over theyears.
In the event of having to tellmy kids that their dad had
(25:00):
disappeared and likely died, Isomehow had access to one of the
world's leading traumapsychologists, dr Gabor Mate,
who I was connected to throughmy brother who had made a film
with him, and he literally textsme from Europe, helping me
determine what kind of verbiageto use when I delivered this
news to my kids and what the keypieces were so that the trauma
(25:23):
of the experience wouldn't wouldbe minimized.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, I've had to experience that conversation
with my kids before and it'sdefinitely there's no manual on
how to tell this particular kidthis particular way so that it
minimizes their reaction, theirtrauma, their pain that they go
(25:49):
through, how to manage that pain.
There's no manual to that and Ihave three different kids and
they all reacted differently andthey all had their own way of
dealing and responding to thenews.
It was like how beautiful thatyou had these gifts right, that
(26:14):
God, the universe, whatever, hadthese people in your life for a
reason.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Yeah, another person that came into my life at that
time was a complete stranger andher name is Sophie and she is
an EFT tapping practitioner.
You might be familiar with EFTemotional freedom techniques,
where we use talk therapy andtapping on acupressure points.
I'm a practitioner in this andI was just starting my
(26:41):
practitioner certificate at thetime, so I'm a firm believer in
it.
Now Sophie came out of the blueand she's a very gifted mentor
in that and she tapped with meeight, 12, 15 times a day over
the telephone to help me processand continue to process instead
of allowing that traumaticenergy to be stuck within me.
So you know that was superhelpful.
(27:04):
But, like, everywhere I waslooking, I had exactly what I
needed.
The only thing I didn't havewith Darcy Right.
And so when you see what'shappening here, everything that
I need is being provided to me,including a vision right, which
was was absolutely validated byanother very gifted psychic
(27:27):
medium three months later who Igot connected with out of the
blue, who showed me the exactsame story with far more detail.
But, like when all of thosethings are happening, you're
like there's a reason that thisis happening, and I know that
can be really hard to hear andtrust me.
I went up and down with that.
It was like maybe this is justrandom stuff that happens in the
(27:48):
world and then I'd go maybeit's not, maybe it's meant for
me and it took me a long time tocome to realize.
But the way that my life hasunfolded since, the way that
it's changed, the way that theway I parent my kids has changed
I would never have wished forthis experience for any of us.
But do I wish that I was theperson that I am now?
(28:09):
Do I love my life the way Ilive it now?
Yes, yeah.
And if that situation hadn'thappened, I like to think that I
was growing and expanding, butunder the circumstances I got
dropped, drop, kicked into aspiritual awakening and
expansion and I'm not going tonot feel deep gratitude for that
(28:29):
because acceptance, right, thatgot me up and moving.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah, I resonate so much with that and, yeah, I
agree 100%.
I think that it's unfortunatecircumstances that have allowed
us to grow and and do I feel mykids to hurt?
(28:55):
No, obviously not.
We don't want that.
However, do I think thatthey've grown because of that
pain?
Absolutely yes, and so I don'tfind, I don't see it as there's
a reason for it.
Yeah, that saying of everythinghappens for a reason.
I used to say that all the time, and there's an author that
(29:19):
I've followed for many, manyyears now and she said something
one time and I was just likeyeah, that makes much more sense
.
There shouldn't be a reasonthat anything happens like that.
Anything tragic happens.
However, we can find purposeand meaning behind those things
that happen, and then thatchanges everything.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Indeed, and I agree with that a hundred percent.
It's that sort of just bringsme to what I always want people
to take away from ourconversations that I've been
having, or from for anybody whoreads my book.
What I always want them to knowis that we have a choice in any
situation, even the mostadverse situation, the most
(30:06):
unthinkable thing, to find themeaning in it.
And it's not always easy rightaway.
And so I would say, with thedeepest empathy for people who
are going through this, whereit's fresh, this wasn't.
I didn't find this meaninginstantly.
I'm almost four years into thisthing and I'm still rewriting
the narrative of grief for me,but what I know for sure is that
(30:30):
we have a choice at any time,and it's always love or fear,
right, yeah, just like it was.
Am I going to be a hostage oram I going to take control and
find a way to move on, find away to take baby steps to move
forward, just getting my kidsback and back to school and like
little life things?
And then I have made the choiceand it sounds like you have as
(30:52):
well to find a way to make itmeaningful, not just for
ourselves but for other people.
And when my and not everybodyfeels like they want to share
their story, and that's okay.
Not everybody feels like theywant to share their story, and
that's okay.
I'm a person who, in times ofadversity, have always found
that sharing my story brought meconnection with other people
(31:12):
even though no two stories arethe same and connection to me
has always been the fastestpathway to peace.
Yeah.
And, for example, we struggledwith fertility for a long time.
So my husband and I made ashort movie of our IVF journey
to help other people, and ourson was born with a brain injury
.
So we live with a child who hasCP and I tend to like, want to
(31:34):
speak on panels with familiesaround that and share our story.
That is just the way that I am.
That's my nature.
So in.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
I think we're gonna be like best friends.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yay, because I feel the same way.
Yeah, and in this situation Ifelt obviously called right.
From very early on I was like,okay, there's something here and
I need to just get into theexperience of healing to begin
with.
But at some point I know thatthere's gonna be a way for me to
(32:07):
find some meaning in it and I.
It was solidified for me abouttwo weeks after my kids had
received the news for me.
We were having a bedtime cry.
It was that time of night whereyou that all the feels come and
my son Miller was hugging meand his dad was.
Dad, wasn't just his dad, hisdad was his best friend, his dad
(32:29):
was his champion.
His dad was the one who waslike meh, brain injury, that's
not gonna stop you from anythingkid.
He was just like, lived for thatkid right.
And so my son was hugging meand he was crying and he said to
me mom, is this the worst thingthat's ever going to happen to
us?
And I said that's a hardquestion, right, because I don't
(32:51):
want to lie to my kids.
And I said I honestly can'timagine anything harder than
this, but I also don't ever knowwhat's going to happen in life.
Uncertainty is a massive partof our lives.
Going to happen in life.
Uncertainty is a massive partof our lives.
That's up to us to find our ownsense of peace so that we can
handle things when they come ourway.
(33:12):
And he said when we get throughthis healing, we're going to
help so many people.
And I was like, yes, let's try,right.
And for me, I'm just, I'm awriter and a speaker and I have
always, just naturally, lovedwriting and I use journaling to
(33:32):
detangle a lot of my thoughts,and that was a big part of this
experience.
And so when I thought about howto find meaning, I was like
writing is a big thing for me,so if I'm detangling it and
journaling it, I wonder ifthere's value in this for anyone
else.
And I remember being out and itwas Christmas 2020.
And I had a friend who wasgoing through a health diagnosis
(33:54):
and a friend going through adivorce and the world was going
through this massive change andI was like, wait a second.
One day things are one way andthe next they're another.
One day my husband was there,the next day he wasn't.
One day all of us could go tothe movies together or go out
(34:16):
and grab a drink, and the nextday we couldn't.
One day someone doesn't havebreast cancer, the next day they
do.
And I was like, wait a second.
I know nobody feels equipped tohelp each other with loss
because we think, oh, my husbanddidn't walk into the woods and
die, no, but you do no loss.
And I was like this is crazy.
(34:37):
We are connected, we areinnately capable of helping each
other here in one way or theother.
We are all experiencing loss,and that just prompted me to
start sharing our story in realtime in a blog, and I started to
become connected with peopleand created a small community
called the Luminous HeartHealing Collective, where we
(34:57):
talk about loss of all kinds andwe talk about this idea of
closure.
Oh, how's Tara going to move onwithout any closure.
A body's never found, nobodyknows why cancer chooses their
body.
Nobody knows like whatconversation went wrong that led
their relationship off therails, that to a point where the
differences were irreconcilable.
(35:18):
We can stay connected and focuson the things that are the same
about our stories and reallyhelp each other that way, and so
that's essentially like why Idecided to then take it and
write a book that incorporatessome of the blog posts that are
created for some of the ideasthat I present in the story, but
it also tells the story oflosing Darcy and the.
(35:40):
You know everything that came asa result of that for us and you
know I said to my kids whenthis happened you know I never
would have ever thought thatthis would happen in our lives
and I would never wish it onanyone and I don't wish that you
didn't have more time with yourdad.
But most kids never have a dadlike that for one day of their
(36:03):
lives yeah and so we're gonnafocus on that because, like,
he's here and he's in us yeah,he left his mark oh yeah, our,
our lives are enriched for thehaving had the experience of him
, and if we can stay in thatkind of place most of the time,
then our choice that we'remaking in all situations is over
(36:25):
fear, yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Oh, I love that so much.
I connect on so many levelswith your story.
I have this conversation withall of the people that I speak
to, these crazy odds.
I was a twin in my mom's belly.
My mom had a miscarriage in the80s and I stayed.
(36:52):
The survival rate of that atthat time was very, very low and
so I'm the surviving twin.
So right in there, from inutero, like my life had greater
purpose and I, looking back, Ifeel like all the things that I
(37:19):
went through, I've had cancerfour times.
I went through infertility.
I've always spoken about it.
I my ex-boyfriend that was atthe time we weren't together but
he was like my best friend andhe was like that person that I
was going to grow old with.
So even if we weren't togetherat the time because of distance,
we were going to grow oldtogether.
So that time didn't matter thatwe weren't together.
(37:40):
And he was in my kid's life forsix years and that was their
stepdad and that's who theythought that we're going to have
him for the rest of forever.
And at age 35, he dies of amassive heart attack.
And it's that conversation Likehow do you tell your kids that
(38:04):
this person that they love, thatthey just spoke to, they just
had a FaceTime, they just gavehim all the updates of school
and how we're doing and all ofthe things, and you have to tell
them that this person is nolonger here, this person's no
(38:26):
longer here, and when youyourself are experiencing this
like devastating loss becausethe blueprint that you had in
your brain for what you weregoing to grow old with is no
longer, and so I've been veryopen about my experience, but I
just I felt, like the peoplethat I, that that have listened
to my story, the way that I feellike people can connect to
(38:48):
stories and see it just like yousaid, like your friend, that
that was had the health scareand all of this was connected
somehow in loss.
The way that I feel like peoplecould see their against all
odds moment is if I'm talking toyou and I'm like, oh, my god,
yeah, I totally connect withthat, and it's me connecting to
(39:09):
somebody else's story which Idon't know, maybe it's a
psychological thing, but if Ican, if I feel like if I can
connect to your story and itdoesn't have a lot of the same
fact, a lot of the same maincharacteristics, except for that
underlying characteristic thatwe don't physically see, which
(39:31):
is loss in this case.
If I can connect to your story,then that means that whoever's
listening could connect to yourstory and see how life can
happen for them and not to them,and see that they've already
survived their worst day and seethat they have that strength
within them, just like you doand just like I do.
(39:53):
And I had this vision or thisguidance in a quantum healing
session that I had with my Reikipractitioner, reiki master, and
we had this moment and I was ina meditative state and my
higher self told me that I wasgoing to have a podcast and it
(40:15):
was going to be called AgainstAll Odds and not even.
Even.
It was like 11 months after Icreated this podcast and it I'm
in the second season and I'mlike speaking to these amazing
individuals and I'm like, oh myGod, I understand, like how,
(40:37):
maybe me not knowing anythingabout podcasting me, not knowing
anything about editing me, notknowing any, it doesn't matter,
I started messy and I've refinedthings and people can connect
to these stories and there'spurpose behind it and the fact
that people can see how lifehappened for them and not to
(40:59):
them.
That's where the purpose behindthis is, because maybe someone
didn't experience the same kindof loss you did, but losses all
the time losses with a career,losses with.
There's so much ways that weexperience loss and if we can
learn how to overcome thesethings in a way that has helped,
(41:24):
that will help us grow, howbeautiful is that, no matter
what kind of loss you'reexperiencing totally, you and I
definitely speak the samelanguage.
I told you, I felt this energyas soon as it was crazy.
I can't even explain it.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
It's funny.
A lot of people have asked ohso you're doing like quite a lot
of podcast interviews and doingsome summits and stuff.
How does it feel to talk aboutthis story all the time?
Because, like, it is a bummerof a story.
What's not a bummer is no, itis like having this evidence,
like just sitting with you orsitting with some of the other
people who have interviewed meor talked with me of late.
(42:04):
Is it's validating what I knowto be true, which is literally
the subtitle of my book.
And this is not a plug, but no,totally plug, because when
you're choosing, like, a titlefor your book and a subtitle,
the title can be whatever youwant Mine's snapshots of my
broken heart, which refers tothe blog, curated blog posts,
their snapshots, their likeideas, things that were
(42:25):
happening in the time and thenfor the subtitle, you have to
really tell people what youbelieve and what they're going
to learn from the book, and somine says how we find peace and
connection when we choose to belost through the lens of love,
and when I talk to people likeyou and you have that instant
connection to me, likeenergetically.
(42:47):
This is just, it just validates.
That is the truth and it justfeels so good and I feel so
grateful for this conversationand because, like you and me, we
didn't even know anything abouteach other and yet we have,
like, massive things in commonand little things in common and,
to be honest, it's noteverybody's calling to be
storytellers, but when you actupon that intuitive guidance,
(43:11):
whatever it is your guidance wasto start a podcast knowing
nothing about it.
Right yeah, when you can justjump into the creative process
of whatever is being asked ofyou that is purposeful, and it
doesn't matter.
It doesn't have to be big orsmall or perfect, it doesn't
have to be a book or a podcast,it could be anything, it could
(43:31):
be something within people'scommunity.
But, like when we can hear thatintuitive guidance, it's just
such a gift because it doesstart to help it us.
It does start to help us dealwith the uncertainties and the
adversities of life better, andI do.
I am really grateful for youand your storytelling on your
podcast, because I thinkstorytelling and sharing really
(43:55):
allows other people to stepforward if they feel called to
share theirs as well, and that'swhere connection comes from.
So, yeah, so grateful for thistoday.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Oh my gosh, I'm like it's so funny because, as you're
talking, I'm like choking backtears, I'm like holding it in,
but it's because this feels sopurposeful and it feels so right
, and I don't even know whereit's gonna go, right, I don't
(44:28):
know where, I don't have thisgrand vision of where it's gonna
go, but I truly feel like it'sgonna touch somebody that needed
to hear it and that is all ofthe validation I guess you could
call it that I need in order tosay all of this work was so
(44:50):
worth it, because this story isgoing to resonate so greatly
with so many.
I just, oh, I'm, I cannot waitto read your book.
So plug away.
I'm so excited Because I feellike it is something that it's
(45:10):
number one.
You storytell beautifully andthat's a gift in itself.
I really, truly feel like thepeople that I guess heed the
call of their purpose.
It doesn't matter the darknessthat's happening around.
(45:31):
They are that beacon of light.
That fear is the darkness andthat light is.
What you chose is love and thatlighthouse that you're just
showing people, because it'slike that constant battle
between fear and love in our ownheart and mind, especially
(45:54):
during things that we've lost orpeople that we've lost, or when
we experience that you areliterally being the beacon.
And that doesn't mean that it'seasy.
It's actually, I think,sometimes a little harder,
because it's like the sense ofresponsibility on top of the
(46:14):
fact that we are feeling allthese feelings.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
One thing that I think I can see as a similarity
is, I think, when, like I did, Ifelt like the creative process
of blogging and then creating mybook as well, which took a
really long time, has beenreally a selfish gift to myself,
and I think because of that,it's allowed me to step away
(46:38):
from the need for perfection andthe need to feel responsible
for how other people receivewhat I'm writing or sharing.
And I can see that with you aswell, like your delivery is so
authentic and that the creativeprocess has value in it itself.
And this is like a whole otherpodcast episode which we should
totally get together for.
But I believe in the big magicthat comes from powerful create
(47:02):
the creative process without,without a need for an outcome.
Right, so you don't have tohave the most listeners, the
most followers, you don't haveto have the most readers, you
don't have to have a bestselleron your hands.
But guess what happens when youcreate from such an authentic
space of wanting to healyourself?
First of all, you heal andsecond of all, I know in your
(47:23):
case, you have a lot of peoplegaining a lot of goodness from
your podcast, and I did hitbestseller in all three of my
categories and that was notthrough marketing.
Yeah, that's not what it wasfrom.
It was.
Somebody asked me what mymarketing strategy was to hit
bestseller and I said prayer,please.
When we do things authenticallybecause we want to share, we do
things authentically because wewant to share, we do things
(47:45):
authentically.
It doesn't have to be on thison a broad scale and it doesn't
have to be on a screen or onpages.
It can be in in community, withthe way we interact with our
neighbors or whatever, but itall comes down to choosing to go
with it.
And it's so cool how fast yourpurpose became so clear because
you were willing to listen.
And then here you are andyou're finding healing through
(48:08):
it.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Oh my gosh it is the coolest thing.
I did 36 episodes in my firstyear, which I was like he told
me he was like when I firststarted, my boyfriend said,
statistically, new podcastersget up to eight episodes and
then they quit.
And I was like, okay, great,thanks, that's an awesome
(48:29):
statistic.
I am the less than 1% chance.
So let's go Right.
I did 36 episodes and that initself I was like, oh, I wish I
would have done one every week.
I had life happen my daughtergot hit by a car, like just a
bunch of things, Right, yeah.
And so when I stopped seasonone and I was already in the
(48:52):
process of I had one episode forseason two that I was editing
and so forth I just told him Iwas like I just, I really just
want, I really just want to havemore than one episode.
I wish I had the backlog offour so that I'm not like
recording and editing and makingit live the same week, cause
(49:15):
that's a lot.
And I found this Facebook groupand put a post up there and you
are my 28th or something likethat recording and I've already
uploaded two episodes of seasontwo.
It is craziness what happenswhen you know in your heart that
(49:36):
you're doing the right thing.
And then, all of a sudden, youask for what you need or what
you want, and it's in abundance.
Here you go, yes, and it's justso beautiful because there is
it, and I would ultimately justlove to have an episode a week,
(50:00):
right, just for the whole year.
That would be amazing.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, thisJust for the whole year, that
would be amazing.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
And I'm like oh my gosh, this is like a lot more
possible when you think about it, not only through reaching out
to get people from a Facebookgroup, to get people.
But me alone, we couldliterally spin off 10 episodes
from my book alone If we brokeit down into chunks and the
steps and the guide cycle ofdivine timing and all the things
that I talk about in there.
Right, we could really reallydive into all of those things
(50:28):
and you probably have the sameexperience with all of your
guests where there's so muchmore.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
Oh my gosh, I could talk to you forever.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
So this is like abundance, and so just let it
soak in, because the energy ofyour podcast is so beautiful, so
I really appreciate you havingme.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Oh my gosh, thank you so much so I'm gonna plug your
book.
It'll be in the show notes,it'll be everywhere I'm.
I feel like, once I read yourbook myself, I'm messaging you
because we're doing're right.
It just feels so connected andso purposeful and this had a
grander purpose.
I am definitely putting in allof your information, how to
(51:14):
reach you and everything onsocial media and so forth.
Tara, this was amazing.
I am sending you and yourfamily so much love, truly from
my heart, and thank you for theway you told your story.
It was beautiful and my heartis with you and I'm so excited
to to continue to connect withyou listeners.
(51:36):
Thank you for listening.
I hope you got as much out oftoday as I know that I did Just
wait because we're going to haveher on more.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
I just can't wait.
Thank you so much for your kindwords.
I really received that withgratitude and I feel that we are
very connected and I would loveto connect again.
Definitely read the book,because I feel like it's really
going to land for you, like itwill for a lot of people.
It's definitely a book that wecan pick up over time as well as
we experience different typesof loss, and there's some really
(52:07):
cool tools in there and, yeah,I look forward to diving into
some of that with you after.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
Awesome.
I cannot wait.
Thank you so much, listeners,for jumping on with us today.
I hope you have an amazing restof your day.
Peace out, guys.
Love your life.
Bye-bye.
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