September 27, 2024 • 39 mins
What happens when a successful career in entertainment is put on hold for motherhood, leading to a profound personal crisis? Join us on Against All Odds as we sit down with Shelley Meche'tte, an inspiring author, certified life purpose coach, and mom life strategist, who shares her raw and emotional journey of rediscovering her identity. Shelley opens up about leaving her career to become a stay-at-home mom, battling deep depression, and ultimately reclaiming her voice and self-worth. Her story is a powerful testament to the importance of self-love and the relentless pursuit of personal dreams, even when life takes unexpected turns.
Imagine facing life-threatening experiences that force you to re-evaluate everything. In this episode, we also survive near-death encounters with 18-wheelers, sharing how these moments have profoundly impacted our lives. These harrowing stories remind us of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing every single day, especially with those we love. We also discuss overcoming limiting beliefs about age and motherhood, finding new opportunities, and achieving continued success, even when societal expectations say otherwise.
Finally, we uncover practical time management strategies to transform chaotic routines into serene schedules. Learn how techniques like time blocking and task batching can help balance personal and professional responsibilities, allowing you to prioritize what truly matters. This episode is packed with actionable tips and inspiring stories to help you appreciate life deeply and pursue your dreams with determination and flexibility. Join us for a journey of resilience, transformation, and endless possibilities, all through the lens of Shelley Meche'tte's incredible story.
Connect with Shelley:
Website: www.ShelleyMechette.com
Instagram: @ShelleyMechette
GrowthDay app offers tools, content, coaching, and community for self-improvement and success.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Less Than
1% Chance podcast with your host, Maria Aponte, where we will
hear stories of incrediblepeople thriving against all odds
, and my hope is that we can allsee how life is always
happening for us, even when weare the Less Than 1% Chance.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey, welcome back to Against All Odds, the Less Than
1% Chance podcast with your host, maria Aponte.
I hope you are doing fantastictoday.
Thank you so much for joiningin.
I have such an amazing treatfor you.
So Ms Shelly Maché is an authorand a certified life purpose
(00:42):
and confidence coach, and a momlife strategist.
Don't we all need that?
So welcome.
I'm so, so grateful that you'rehere with us, shelly.
Tell us a little bit about youand what your against all odds
story is.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Oh, my goodness, maria, thank you so much.
I tell you, yes, I do have ahave an against all odds story
when my girls were about maybefive and 12,.
First of all, I come from anupbringing of being very
independent, and so my mom was avery independent woman.
She raised me that way you goafter the things that you want.
(01:20):
She raised me with lots ofstrength, and so that was my
mentality you go after thethings you want.
I had me with lots of strength,and so that was my mentality
you go after the things you want.
I had pretty decent gradesgrowing up.
I put my head to something andit's going to happen.
At 18, I purchased my first car.
At 16, I started working.
At 20, I think 23 or 24, Imoved out of the house, and so
all of these things, when I putmy mind to something, I do it.
(01:42):
All of these things when I putmy mind to something, I do it.
When I became a mom, I was asingle mom, and so I had my
daughter.
She was on my hip, we was justgoing, and that's just what you
do you pick up and you go, andunfortunately, there were some
things that happened in daycareand I decided, man, when I
became pregnant with my secondchild, that I just didn't want
(02:04):
that experience again.
And so at that time, I hadended up getting married and my
husband and I decided, hey, well, why don't I just stay at home?
I just didn't want thatexperience again.
I wanted to be there, I wantedto be close to the children, and
I didn't want that same routinethat I had.
I was gone from.
I dropped my daughter off atsix something in the morning at
daycare, and I didn't see heragain until about 630 in the
(02:28):
evening, and so I wantedsomething different from my
daughter.
So I ended up leaving.
I left my career, which was inentertainment, which I've always
loved.
I tell people all the time,honey, I was acting in the womb
OK.
I was in the womb doingmonologues, ok.
So when I ended up leaving myjob in entertainment, I left it
(02:48):
of my own free will, and afterme and my husband talked about
this.
But what I didn't know is thatI was leaving pieces of me
behind too.
And when I ended up becomingthat stay at home mom, maria,
something changed.
I had no value, I had noconfidence, I didn't know who I
was.
I had these titles, but Ididn't know the woman.
(03:11):
I became someone's caretaker,my day became babbling with an
18 month old.
I was running errands, I wascooking dinner, cleaning the
house, cleaning spit up.
I had no one to talk to and Ifell into this depression.
And I knew what the depressionlooked like because I had fallen
into a depression years beforeand it had gotten so bad that I
(03:35):
was considering taking my life.
And so I knew where I was and Iknew that if I didn't get some
type of assistance that I wasgoing to fall into this dark
hole.
But I still felt tooembarrassed because I had this
life where people were like, oh,couples goals, marriage goals,
and so I felt too embarrassedagain to ask for anything.
(03:57):
It wasn't until I was standingin my bathroom mirror one day
and I was literally screamingbecause I just felt so isolated,
I felt so closed off.
I felt like there was nothingof me to give except someone's
mother and I went into a fullemotional breakdown.
It almost felt like a nervousbreakdown and I fell to the
(04:20):
floor.
It was that scream where yourhead is in your hands and you're
in that fetal position.
And someone was screaming andit was me and I'm like who is
that?
But it was in that moment that Irealized something has to
change, something in me has tochange.
(04:42):
I can't make anybody elseresponsible for my happiness, my
joy, my peace.
And at that time I did acomplete self-discovery,
rediscovering who I was, who thewoman was.
I stripped myself of everysingle title.
I began a journey of who isthis woman, who is Shelly?
(05:03):
And as I began to love thewoman not the mom, not the wife,
nobody as I began to get toknow the woman all over again, I
began developing a voice again.
I began developing myconfidence again.
I began asking for what Ineeded and what I wanted, and I
was even able to take somedreams off of the back burner
(05:25):
because I felt worthy of themnow, including being booked to
do a Disney project a couple ofyears ago.
I never would have had theconfidence to even audition for
that had it not been for megoing back to find out who I was
, what did I love, and puttingmyself first.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah, absolutely.
I had one of those.
I've had multiple experiencesof self-identity, but I clearly
remember after I separated frommy ex-husband, it was like, oh,
I've been with this person for11 years and I went from being a
daughter that was very, veryprotected to being a wife and
(06:13):
trying to have a child.
and then this yes and I starteddoing just these random things
and I realized give me a glassof wine and some cheese and let
(06:39):
and put me in front of abasketball game and I will
thoroughly enjoy that.
Yes, the thing that I didn't do.
I had not watched basketballsince probably middle school,
Wow.
And all of a sudden I'm like,oh, I remember I enjoyed this
Exactly.
I don't do it now, but it's not.
But it was me rediscovering whome was.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Exactly, I remember asking myself do you even like
Cheerios or do you eat theCheerios because the kids leave
them?
And so, just going back, one ofthe exercises that I did was
going back to childhood andsaying what was your most, what
was your most serene moment,what is it that you really
(07:24):
enjoyed, and is there anopportunity to get pieces of
that?
We all know that as we grow,life changes, things change.
We can't do every single thingthat we used to do, but I can
bring pieces of it with me.
Maybe I can't go out with thegirls every weekend, but I can
say, hey, I need to schedulesomething once a month with you
(07:44):
guys.
I need my girls, I need sometime.
I love to watch sitcoms and sonow part of me rejuvenating me
is every single night.
Honey, you will find me withsome good times with some golden
girls.
You're going to find somethingbecause I need to laugh before I
go to sleep.
But that's something thatrejuvenates me.
(08:06):
Something so simple that Inever thought would be important
started to be important when Ibegan to go.
What is it that you love?
It doesn't have to be grand,what are the simplistic things
that you love?
And I'm like I really like towatch me a comedy, yeah, yeah,
and then being able to put thatinto my life was.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
You just wouldn't believe what a game changer that
was yeah, and it's so funnybecause, again, these are
circumstances that we can do andtry to look for that identity
constantly.
I because, guess, now, theMaria that I am right now
doesn't watch basketball,doesn't drink wine because I
(08:50):
feel awful afterwards anddoesn't eat cheese because I
feel awful afterwards, so thisnew Maria loves other things.
Yes, and it's just we are everevolving.
Yes, things, and it's just weare ever evolving and it's so
(09:12):
beautiful that, like, we canlearn who we are in the moment
right now and that should belike, that should be a sacred
space for us.
Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Yeah, and that's one of the things that I actually
love too, maria is that I didn'thave to remain that person.
There's so much pressure on usas people to remain the same
purpose.
We're getting all of thesemixed messages all the time.
Still, be that person that youwere.
Don't change.
Make sure that you're evolvingand you're being the best person
(09:42):
that you absolutely can.
Well, don't you change, becausewhen you change, then you're
fake.
Well, make sure that you grow.
Make sure that you do and yoube happy for you.
So we're constantly gettingmixed messages, and so that was
the other thing about growinginto my identity and
understanding that I didn't haveto be the same Shelly, even if
(10:03):
I did like Cheerios, it's okayfor three years later for me not
to like it anymore.
I don't have to remain thatsame person.
But if there are pieces of methat I enjoyed before, I can
definitely be sure toincorporate those things into my
life season.
Because that was the otherthing that I learned.
(10:23):
We all have life seasons, andwhen we try to remain the exact
same person in a new life season, all it breathes is frustration
, bitterness, anxiety, overwhelm.
But when we allow ourselves tosay this is my season, now I'm
in a season I'm a caretakerright now, or I'm working nine
to five and building a businessright now.
(10:44):
My needs, my priorities, theway I'm looking at things is
different today than it wasthree months ago.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yes, absolutely, and it's okay.
Yes, I love that so much.
I feel like we so often justconform to what society Mm-hmm
thinks that we should be, whatour family thinks that we should
be, and especially as women.
(11:14):
I feel like we go through thesephases of our lives and we were
talking about it prior tostarting to record this, but
this post-menopause phase of mylife has been so different, so
different, so different.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
And.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I need to learn what now I enjoy, and it's.
I really have learned thatgoing out for a walk in the
morning is a happy place of mine.
I hear the birds, I feel likeconnected to the earth, I
(11:51):
connect to God and just feelthis immense gratitude.
It's just the things that bringme peace.
If you would have asked me afew years ago if I would have
liked to go walking, I wouldhave been like no, I don't have
time for that.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Right right.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
And now I'm like, oh my God, I can't.
I love this walk.
This walk is amazing.
I hear the birds chirping.
But just, it's just a differentphase and I just I've always
been such a like go-getter, Likegive me something that I have
(12:34):
like a goal for and if I believein it.
Oh, you better believe that I'mthere exactly and not that I
don't have that.
However, I really have to feelvery passionate about something
in order for me to put that muchenergy into anything because
(12:55):
I'm in a different phase of mylife.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
And yes, but that's what's so awesome.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Yeah, that's what's so awesome.
Not just being in a differentphase, but really receiving that
phase, really looking aroundand going wow, this is a
beautiful time in my life, evenwhen life is chaotic, where can
you look and go?
Yeah, things may be up and down, yes things.
Some things may be out of mycontrol, but when I can turn
(13:23):
that inward and when I can saybut what is the beauty of right
now?
It doesn't mean that I'm notgoing through.
It doesn't mean that life isn'tfrustrating right now.
It doesn't mean that I'm notgoing through.
It doesn't mean that life isn'tfrustrating right now.
It doesn't mean that everythingis glamorous.
What it means is, in the midstof everything, I can still turn
things inward and find thebeauty, understanding who my
(13:44):
identity is.
I think one of the things that Iloved so much when
rediscovering myself and who Iwas is that my value didn't
depend on circumstance.
My value didn't depend on looks.
My value didn't depend on thesize of the dress.
My value didn't depend on if Igot the kids to bed at nine.
(14:05):
My value didn't even depend onif I lost my temper.
It didn't make me this badperson, this bad woman, this bad
wife, this bad mom.
When I learned to understandthat there are human experiences
that do not affect the worth ofwho I am as a person, as a
woman, that's when I began tobecome more free, more open and
(14:28):
even more accepting of my ownerrors and mistakes.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yes, I feel, oh my God, yes, yes, yes, yes, just.
If you didn't hear that, justrewind and listen to that again.
And I feel like you you becomemore empathetic for the people
around you.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Oh, absolutely Absolutely.
I don't know how you can't be.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I feel like this empathy now for, or just a
different perspective in lookingat people's situations, rather
than and my kids get irritatedwith me about this, but like
when, even when they're havingissues with friends or whatever,
and I'm like, well, have youthought of maybe they're on
(15:10):
their monthly cycle right nowand they're just tolerance level
is not as much and maybe that'swhy they they snipped at you
because I feel like last weekyou at me too.
So I and I understood that youwere just not in a good state of
mind, but they hate that.
They're like, oh, mom, here yougo again, but it just it makes
(15:35):
you understand that there's somany different perspectives.
You don't know what someone isgoing through, you don't know
what kind of?
family life they are having andit makes you such a more
empathetic person when yourealize you have your own eras
that you go through.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
And yeah maybe my patience isn't as much right now
because my estrogen levels arereally low, and all the things,
all of the things it's alwayssomething.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Life is so awesome, right, that there's always
something that's going on.
And so if we have anopportunity to look at people
and look at situations throughtheir eyes sometimes some people
, at the end of the day, itdoesn't matter, you're just a
mean person.
But at the end of the day, ifwe take time to not just
categorize you first, but to seethe human nature in you, then I
(16:26):
really think that there wouldbe more of a gentleness one to
the other, that there would beso much more kindness, so much
more understanding.
If we don't jump to theconclusion first, absolutely, I
feel like that.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
that very much sums it up.
I feel like this world I feellike needs more compassion or
empathy and kindness, and it'sokay that you don't have the
same beliefs that I do, justlike it's okay that I don't have
the same beliefs that you doand if we can still have a
(17:04):
conversation about these things,gosh, we've evolved a lot, yes,
but it all starts with us andlearning who we are and our
identity and what helps us drivefor more and what.
Some when we need to retreat alittle bit and have our 30 45
(17:27):
minute sitcom.
That just makes us laugh likethose are the things when we
learn who we are and what makesus tick in whichever way, we
just become much more acceptingpeople.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I think, yes, we're much better for ourselves and be
much better for me than I.
I'm so much better for you.
When I went through thatmetamorphosis, when I began to
look at who are you, what do youenjoy, when I began to take my
dreams off of the back burnerbecause that was one of the
things I felt that I had missedout.
I felt that I missed my chance.
(18:03):
I missed my opportunity.
That saddened me that I wouldnever have an opportunity to do
the things that I wanted to doin life.
But when I understood thatdreams don't die because life
changes.
Dreams don't have to diebecause you become a parent.
Dreams don't have to diebecause you lost a loved one.
Dreams don't have to die.
Do we have to sometimes beflexible?
(18:25):
Absolutely.
Do some things have to be donein a different way?
Yes, they do.
So I couldn't follow the dreamthe way that I thought I was
going to, but other avenuesopened up because my priority
was really to know me and tobring my children and my family
into that side of me.
And one of the most wonderfulthings was I was able to connect
(18:46):
with people who did stageopportunities where I could
bring my children along with meto connect with people who did
stage opportunities where I canbring my children along with me.
So things sometimes what we haveto understand is when we change
in life, when we're looking atwho we are, when we're looking
at loving ourselvesunconditionally, we also want to
look at the fact that sometimesit, whatever your it is, may
(19:07):
look different, and that's okay.
What is still feeding you, whatis still pouring into you, and
remembering that those things donot determine your worth.
I had it backwards.
If I go out here and if Ibecome this actress or if I
fulfill this goal, then I'mimportant.
I had it backwards.
(19:27):
I was important the day I wasconceived.
I was important and sounderstanding that importance,
understanding that worth,understanding that identity is
through that confidence that I'mable to do and follow any and
what determines who I am, andthat was a huge lesson for me to
(19:52):
learn.
Whether you get the part,whether you don't, this happens,
whether it doesn't, whether youget the promotion, whether you
don't get the promotion, whetheryou get the job, whether you
don't get the job none of thesethings determine who you are and
your purpose, your identity,your confidence, your value,
your worth those things weredetermined before any title was
ever given.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yes, yes, oh, it's so funny.
I've had an incredible amountof amazing people in the season
two of my podcast, against AllOdds, and I want to work with
every one of them.
I want to work with every oneof them.
I want to work with all of myguests.
(20:35):
This is so good.
I'm over here like, yeah, giveit to me all.
I love it.
I it just.
It's so amazing to justremember that.
(20:58):
And there's so many things thatthat try to deter us from
remembering that true self thatwe were perfectly made when we
were made.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Yes, when we were made.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
And it was just goodness, the things that we
have all gone through, that hastried to hold us back, and it's
a shift.
It's that identity shift thatwe need to go back to
remembering the amazing humanthat we are yes, absolutely
(21:35):
Amazing soul, because I feellike this is just a vessel.
This is just a vessel, but we,who we are deep in our soul is
incredible just how they are.
Which means that it doesn'tmatter the size you are, the
color hair you have, if a graycomes out or not, if like girl.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I can show you a couple of.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I know me too If there's wrinkles like.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
I.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I have a different appreciation, I think, for aging
, because I didn't know if I wasgoing to be here past 32 years
old and so having that reality,I think, shifts a lot in your
life in like.
I woke up this morning, God,I'm so grateful.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Yes, it's a different and I don't want anyone to have
to go through any of the thingsthat I've went through or deal
with illnesses that I've gonethrough, but I think that it
comes with a differentappreciation for life.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
I agree.
I agree with you.
Early, I think my oldest Idon't even know if she was two
yet and I was in a terrible,terrible car accident.
I was almost hit head on by an18 wheeler.
It just so happens that theywere driving on the wrong side
of the.
It was only two lanes and theywere driving on the wrong side
(23:03):
and literally, I literallythought okay, this is the end of
my life, this is the processthat I was going through.
And as the truck began to getcloser and closer, the one thing
I thought this is the processthat I was going through.
And as the truck began to getcloser and closer, the one thing
I thought which is really funnywhen I think about it now I was
like wow, it's good that I havenice teeth, cause that's all
they're going to be able toidentify.
And that was my thought.
(23:24):
As I said, that was like it'sreally nice that you have nice
teeth and someone behind me.
I slammed on my brake, notknowing I don't know why I
slammed on my brake, but Islammed on the brake and I blew
the horn.
I'm like maybe he's asleep, Idon't know.
But, when I slammed on the brake, the car behind me slammed into
me, but it slammed into me justenough to shift my car over to
(23:47):
where I had blacked out, and itshifted my car over just enough
to, when I opened up my eyes,the truck had literally was next
to me.
I don't know if you could see,but he was next to me like, like
this, and he had literally justmissed me.
My windows were up and I feltall the air from him, him
missing me.
And so when you say theappreciation for just getting up
(24:13):
and, like I said, I don't eventhink my daughter was two at
that time, and so the the factthat I left her that morning in
daycare and may not have everseen her again, waking up with
her every day, being able to seeher, even while I was going
through that depression andthose suicidal thoughts, it was
(24:33):
still there, was still thislittle appreciation in there,
like wow, I still get to seeyour face and it's really her
little face that really helpedto pull me through.
So I totally understand whenyou say things are different.
You appreciate things in adifferent way when you've gone
through so so many things.
And that was, that's another,against all odds.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yes, oh, my God, that's so scary we were it was
very scary road on a road trip.
I was 17.
So I had just gotten mydriver's license and we went on
this road trip, and so it was me, my mom and my dad rotating,
and my sister was in their car,but she's younger, we're
rotating the driving.
We live in the Orlando area andwe drove up to Maine and when
(25:19):
we were driving back down, wewere on our way back and I had
just given the car over to mymom and I remember we were going
on this highway and next to uswas this 18 wheeler and there
was traffic.
Right, it was still flowing,but there was traffic and this
(25:41):
van comes like up in front of usand like minutes later, I guess
the 18 wheeler that was to ourright had fallen asleep and he
was like slowly going into theother lane that the van that was
in front of us was had to, likeparallel with him going towards
(26:04):
like the middle of the ofbetween the two ways.
It was just crazy and it couldhave been us and we were
literally watching it as itunfolded, and I remember the 18
wheeler crossed over to theother side of the oncoming
(26:26):
traffic and the van got stuck inthe median, in the middle and
at the end it hit the top of thevan and you could see the van
like moving side to side and Iwas like, oh my.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
God Wow.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
It's just so scary.
I, to this day, I just I hatedriving anywhere near any 18
wheeler.
Me too.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
I can only imagine I try to get away from it really
quickly yeah, like I will slowdown.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
You know, if I'm like , if they're like behind me, I
will speed, speed up a littlebit and get away.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
All of these years later, 18 Wheeler, it still
freaks me out.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah, yep, yep, I mean it makes sense.
So how did you go from like youwent back to acting?
I want to hear a little bitabout Disney.
What happened there?
Where can we find?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
you.
Oh, my goodness, it was soexciting.
Yes, I had an opportunity, likeI said, to do plays, and so
that feeling of wanting to actand be in front of an audience,
I had the chance to do that.
I think there was a part of methat just was like this is good,
I'm fine.
I get to still act.
The dream is different, I'mfine.
But over the years I have metdifferent people in the industry
(27:43):
, different casting directors,different producers, and my
daughter and I ended up meetinga producer wonderful producer,
cashmere Jasmine ended upmeeting her and she was working
on a project.
A few years later, she ended upworking on a project with
Disney called Launchpad.
They have Launchpad season oneand we did season two.
But when she ended up gettingon that project, the casting
(28:06):
director, she and the castingdirector I don't know if they
knew each other before or ifthey had just met at that time,
but our producer friend said tothe casting director hey, I know
someone who I think shouldaudition for this part, and I
think they were still openauditions, I didn't even know
about it.
So I tell you, god, just putsome things together.
But ended up calling my daughterand said to her hey, do you
(28:30):
think your mom will beinterested in auditioning for
this Disney part?
And I was like, would I beinterested?
I literally used to work forDisney and so it was really a
serene moment because I leftDisney 20 years prior.
I left to be at home to takecare of my children, and so for
(28:53):
it to come full circle and Iended up auditioning.
But again, this is after doingthe work and building the
confidence, because at first,when she said it, I think I got
overwhelmed and I was like, ohno, I can't audition for Disney.
And I'm like, girl step out ofit.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yes, you can.
You self-coached?
That is the best.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Yes, you can Look at what you've done, look at what
you've accomplished, look at andI'm always telling, you're
always telling your clients,once you prepare for this to go,
you better take that onyourself.
Had an opportunity to audition,I think it may have been maybe,
maybe close to a month later,when I got the, the email that I
(29:33):
had gotten the part and.
I was just like I couldn'tbelieve it.
I just couldn't believe it, andso something that was so dear
to my heart, and now it's stillstreaming on Disney plus the
launch pad series, and ourparticular project is called
project CC.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
So yeah, I love that To see myself.
Yes, that is so awesome.
I love that.
I love that.
It's funny how your storywasn't over with that.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
It wasn't over.
It wasn't over, and the thingthat I love is because I know
who I am now.
Maria, I don't think my storyever has the end.
I don't think there's an endingto it.
I think there's something new.
I'm open to new opportunities.
I'm open to learning more aboutmyself in six months a year.
Who knows?
(30:25):
I may never want to act againand that's okay, because I'm not
identified by title.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yes, I love that.
Oh my gosh, I love that so much.
Yeah, I feel like it's.
It's our continuing series.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Yes, yeah, I love that.
I love that it's our continuingseries and I'm open to another
season and I'm open to adifferent project.
Exactly, I'm just open to it.
And if this particular seasonof life gets canceled, then hey,
what's the new one?
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Exactly, I love it so very much.
It just it speaks to my soul.
What limiting beliefs do youfeel like you needed to overcome
in order for for all of this tobe in your life?
Speaker 3 (31:14):
One of the limited beliefs that I think that I
really needed to overcome isthat my, my age determines
success.
So, if you're 30, if you're 40,especially if you're 50, it's
like it's too late.
Well, you can't do this.
Well, you might as well justsit down.
Well, you're a grandmother now,and so just really
(31:37):
understanding that until I takemy last breath, I can, and I get
to add that.
I get to add that.
I get to add that.
Another limiting belief wasbecause I'm a mom, this is what
you do.
Other things have to go on theback burner or you don't get to
pursue those things.
I learned that I can stillfulfill goals and be a great mom
(31:57):
too.
I don't have to be either or,and it's okay to be flexible.
It's okay for it to lookdifferent.
I was so determined that it hasto look like this for you to be
successful, and that waslimiting for me because it had
to be like this and because itwasn't like that, I didn't see
another way.
But the thing is, I wasn'tallowing myself to see another
(32:21):
way.
When I began to look at otherthings, when I began to go well,
what are some meetup groups?
When I began to go well, whatcan you start?
You're sitting here going oh,it doesn't look like this, it's
not like that.
Well, how come you don't createsomething?
Why don't you do something?
Why don't you make it something?
We limit ourselves by thinkingwe have to.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
We have to connect with how someone else is doing
it, when you can actually createa way to do it.
Absolutely yes, yes, yes.
Oh my gosh, I listen to you allthe time.
What daily habits do you feellike have helped you get to your
level of success?
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I am a list maker, like literally I love lists and
I get excited, y'all.
Now, this is the nerd in me.
Okay, when I get my list and Istart checking stuff off, I
started getting excited.
I'm like, oh, you did this, ohyou did that, okay, girl, I love
it.
So for me, I like to be able tosee my productivity, and so I
(33:21):
make daily lists, I make weeklylists, I make monthly goals and
I'm very much of an ABC person,so I have to have a step for
everything.
What is your step for this?
And so if I can see, even if Ididn't reach that goal today, if
I can see two steps that I made, then I feel like, oh, this is
wonderful.
(33:41):
So that has become a habit ofmine that I must have for my own
sanity.
I must have order the things.
What does it look like?
I am a person who I'm very mucha planner, and my husband
laughs at me because he's likewell, let's just spontaneously
get up and go, and I'm likegreat, just let me know, me know
(34:01):
what time he's like you'remissing it again you're missing
it again.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Yes, I love.
That's hilarious and.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
I'm like sure we could be.
Yeah, we could spontaneously go.
What?
On Tuesday you want tospontaneously head over?
Speaker 2 (34:17):
you can semi disrupt my way of being semi.
You have to give me somecontext here.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
I'm trying but that one is kind of like, oh, I'm
trying to be okay, we're justgonna go, and I'm like, oh, at
what time?
Speaker 2 (34:32):
so I so I could prepare that one.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
I'm having a hard time with guys oh, that's so
funny.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah, I have become and this is, I feel like I'm
pretty good about like flying bythe seat of my pants.
That I'm good with.
However, I do feel like I'vebeen sitting in the mornings
before the craziness starts andgoing on my trusty little phone
(35:01):
and going into the calendar andthen time blocking the things
that I have to do.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Because, especially with the amount of guest
interviews that I've had in thelast like two weeks, I'm sure
I'm like, okay, I need to figureout when I'm going to get my
business done, when I'm going toget like help people get
healthy, and that's what thepassion that I found because it
saved my life and the fact thatI get to do that now I have to
(35:29):
also a time block for that.
Yes so that I can dedicate itto those clients and yes those
team members and so forth.
So it really so as much as I canjust up and go.
I also have found a lot ofserenity in my brain when I'm
(35:49):
like, okay, this is how muchtime it's going to take me to
take the kid to school, comeback be, prepared, have my
breakfast.
I have it all in my calendar.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
It is so funny that you say that, because most of
the clients that I work withthat's one of the first
exercises because I work with,that's one of the first
exercises.
Because I work with busy moms,helping them to balance or what
I like to call harmonizemotherhood with life goals and
dreams.
And so most of the time they'reagain.
They're busy, ambitious momsand they just don't see where
they have any time throughouttheir day especially for
(36:19):
self-care.
They're feeling overwhelmed andone of the first things I say to
them is I want you to keep justa daily calendar of just one
day, from six to six, five tofive, whatever it is, and I want
you to write down every singlething that you're doing
throughout that day If you're upat 5.30, if you have breakfast
by 5.20, if the kids are up at6.20 and from 6.20 to 6.45, you
(36:44):
get them ready.
If from 7 to 7.30, it takes youto get to their school, so just
give a breakdown of everysingle thing you do.
And usually there's one of twothings that happen they either
look at that day and theyunderstand why they're
overwhelmed, because we onlyhave a 100% bandwidth, that's it
, nothing more, and they'retrying to put 200% into that
(37:04):
100%, and so they're able tounderstand.
I see why I'm overwhelmed.
I see why I feel like I'm goingto just choke somebody around
three o'clock every day.
Either their eyes are opened inthat way or else they look on
the other side and they go ohwell, actually I do have a
couple of hours here that maybeI could do this, or I didn't
(37:26):
realize that I was spending timenot doing this, or I see where
I can batch, because, for me, Ibegan to learn batching when I
would take my children to sportsand things like that.
I would watch them for maybelike an hour and then I'd go to
the car for that next hour toanswer emails or just get some
me time, so they're able to seewhere they can begin batching
(37:47):
their tasks.
And so it's usually one or theother.
Sometimes I have somethingdifferent, but usually it's oh,
I see the overwhelm, or oh, Isee where I can get some things
done.
So what?
I tell people that understandingwhen I let my clients know if
you just break down your day,you really will see this is
going to blow your mind and thisis going to be the beginning of
(38:11):
you releasing chaos in your day, of you releasing overwhelm.
This is really the beginning ofyou understanding boundaries
and how to set boundaries,understanding priorities and
what means most to you in thisparticular season.
It all starts with being ableto see what does my day look
like, and you can't see thatuntil you can do exactly what
(38:33):
you're doing.
Maria, getting up and going.
This is the amount of time thatI spend here.
This is what I'm going to dothere.
I'm going to take a couple ofminutes to sit back over here
and then we actually.
That's when we begin to takebetter control of our day and
our life.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Yes, love it.
Oh my gosh, I could literallysit here and talk to you all day
long.
But seriously, thank you somuch.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
You gave so much amazing insight.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
I really truly appreciate it.
I love your confidence.
It just exudes from the screen.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Thank, you girl.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
It was a lot of work.
Yes, it was.
I love that and I just I reallyappreciate everything that you
said.
I second and third all of it.
So thank you again.
Listeners, I hope you got somuch out of this like I did.
I know that my dog out theregot a lot out of it too, because
I could hear him.
(39:28):
I like, I like your dog.
Yes, he is on it.
He knows something good when hehears it.
But thank you so very much.
I hope you have all an amazingday.
Thank you, peace out guys.
Love your life.
Bye, bye.
Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Less Than
1% Chance podcast with your host, Maria Aponte, where we will
hear stories of incrediblepeople thriving against all odds
, and my hope is that we can allsee how life is always
happening for us, even when weare the Less Than 1% Chance.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey, welcome back to Against All Odds, the Less Than
1% Chance podcast with your host, maria Aponte.
I hope you are doing fantastictoday.
Thank you so much for joiningin.
I have such an amazing treatfor you.
So Ms Shelly Maché is an authorand a certified life purpose
(00:42):
and confidence coach, and a momlife strategist.
Don't we all need that?
So welcome.
I'm so, so grateful that you'rehere with us, shelly.
Tell us a little bit about youand what your against all odds
story is.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Oh, my goodness, maria, thank you so much.
I tell you, yes, I do have ahave an against all odds story
when my girls were about maybefive and 12,.
First of all, I come from anupbringing of being very
independent, and so my mom was avery independent woman.
She raised me that way you goafter the things that you want.
(01:20):
She raised me with lots ofstrength, and so that was my
mentality you go after thethings you want.
I had me with lots of strength,and so that was my mentality
you go after the things you want.
I had pretty decent gradesgrowing up.
I put my head to something andit's going to happen.
At 18, I purchased my first car.
At 16, I started working.
At 20, I think 23 or 24, Imoved out of the house, and so
all of these things, when I putmy mind to something, I do it.
(01:42):
All of these things when I putmy mind to something, I do it.
When I became a mom, I was asingle mom, and so I had my
daughter.
She was on my hip, we was justgoing, and that's just what you
do you pick up and you go, andunfortunately, there were some
things that happened in daycareand I decided, man, when I
became pregnant with my secondchild, that I just didn't want
(02:04):
that experience again.
And so at that time, I hadended up getting married and my
husband and I decided, hey, well, why don't I just stay at home?
I just didn't want thatexperience again.
I wanted to be there, I wantedto be close to the children, and
I didn't want that same routinethat I had.
I was gone from.
I dropped my daughter off atsix something in the morning at
daycare, and I didn't see heragain until about 630 in the
(02:28):
evening, and so I wantedsomething different from my
daughter.
So I ended up leaving.
I left my career, which was inentertainment, which I've always
loved.
I tell people all the time,honey, I was acting in the womb
OK.
I was in the womb doingmonologues, ok.
So when I ended up leaving myjob in entertainment, I left it
(02:48):
of my own free will, and afterme and my husband talked about
this.
But what I didn't know is thatI was leaving pieces of me
behind too.
And when I ended up becomingthat stay at home mom, maria,
something changed.
I had no value, I had noconfidence, I didn't know who I
was.
I had these titles, but Ididn't know the woman.
(03:11):
I became someone's caretaker,my day became babbling with an
18 month old.
I was running errands, I wascooking dinner, cleaning the
house, cleaning spit up.
I had no one to talk to and Ifell into this depression.
And I knew what the depressionlooked like because I had fallen
into a depression years beforeand it had gotten so bad that I
(03:35):
was considering taking my life.
And so I knew where I was and Iknew that if I didn't get some
type of assistance that I wasgoing to fall into this dark
hole.
But I still felt tooembarrassed because I had this
life where people were like, oh,couples goals, marriage goals,
and so I felt too embarrassedagain to ask for anything.
(03:57):
It wasn't until I was standingin my bathroom mirror one day
and I was literally screamingbecause I just felt so isolated,
I felt so closed off.
I felt like there was nothingof me to give except someone's
mother and I went into a fullemotional breakdown.
It almost felt like a nervousbreakdown and I fell to the
(04:20):
floor.
It was that scream where yourhead is in your hands and you're
in that fetal position.
And someone was screaming andit was me and I'm like who is
that?
But it was in that moment that Irealized something has to
change, something in me has tochange.
(04:42):
I can't make anybody elseresponsible for my happiness, my
joy, my peace.
And at that time I did acomplete self-discovery,
rediscovering who I was, who thewoman was.
I stripped myself of everysingle title.
I began a journey of who isthis woman, who is Shelly?
(05:03):
And as I began to love thewoman not the mom, not the wife,
nobody as I began to get toknow the woman all over again, I
began developing a voice again.
I began developing myconfidence again.
I began asking for what Ineeded and what I wanted, and I
was even able to take somedreams off of the back burner
(05:25):
because I felt worthy of themnow, including being booked to
do a Disney project a couple ofyears ago.
I never would have had theconfidence to even audition for
that had it not been for megoing back to find out who I was
, what did I love, and puttingmyself first.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah, absolutely.
I had one of those.
I've had multiple experiencesof self-identity, but I clearly
remember after I separated frommy ex-husband, it was like, oh,
I've been with this person for11 years and I went from being a
daughter that was very, veryprotected to being a wife and
(06:13):
trying to have a child.
and then this yes and I starteddoing just these random things
and I realized give me a glassof wine and some cheese and let
(06:39):
and put me in front of abasketball game and I will
thoroughly enjoy that.
Yes, the thing that I didn't do.
I had not watched basketballsince probably middle school,
Wow.
And all of a sudden I'm like,oh, I remember I enjoyed this
Exactly.
I don't do it now, but it's not.
But it was me rediscovering whome was.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Exactly, I remember asking myself do you even like
Cheerios or do you eat theCheerios because the kids leave
them?
And so, just going back, one ofthe exercises that I did was
going back to childhood andsaying what was your most, what
was your most serene moment,what is it that you really
(07:24):
enjoyed, and is there anopportunity to get pieces of
that?
We all know that as we grow,life changes, things change.
We can't do every single thingthat we used to do, but I can
bring pieces of it with me.
Maybe I can't go out with thegirls every weekend, but I can
say, hey, I need to schedulesomething once a month with you
(07:44):
guys.
I need my girls, I need sometime.
I love to watch sitcoms and sonow part of me rejuvenating me
is every single night.
Honey, you will find me withsome good times with some golden
girls.
You're going to find somethingbecause I need to laugh before I
go to sleep.
But that's something thatrejuvenates me.
(08:06):
Something so simple that Inever thought would be important
started to be important when Ibegan to go.
What is it that you love?
It doesn't have to be grand,what are the simplistic things
that you love?
And I'm like I really like towatch me a comedy, yeah, yeah,
and then being able to put thatinto my life was.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
You just wouldn't believe what a game changer that
was yeah, and it's so funnybecause, again, these are
circumstances that we can do andtry to look for that identity
constantly.
I because, guess, now, theMaria that I am right now
doesn't watch basketball,doesn't drink wine because I
(08:50):
feel awful afterwards anddoesn't eat cheese because I
feel awful afterwards, so thisnew Maria loves other things.
Yes, and it's just we are everevolving.
Yes, things, and it's just weare ever evolving and it's so
(09:12):
beautiful that, like, we canlearn who we are in the moment
right now and that should belike, that should be a sacred
space for us.
Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Yeah, and that's one of the things that I actually
love too, maria is that I didn'thave to remain that person.
There's so much pressure on usas people to remain the same
purpose.
We're getting all of thesemixed messages all the time.
Still, be that person that youwere.
Don't change.
Make sure that you're evolvingand you're being the best person
(09:42):
that you absolutely can.
Well, don't you change, becausewhen you change, then you're
fake.
Well, make sure that you grow.
Make sure that you do and yoube happy for you.
So we're constantly gettingmixed messages, and so that was
the other thing about growinginto my identity and
understanding that I didn't haveto be the same Shelly, even if
(10:03):
I did like Cheerios, it's okayfor three years later for me not
to like it anymore.
I don't have to remain thatsame person.
But if there are pieces of methat I enjoyed before, I can
definitely be sure toincorporate those things into my
life season.
Because that was the otherthing that I learned.
(10:23):
We all have life seasons, andwhen we try to remain the exact
same person in a new life season, all it breathes is frustration
, bitterness, anxiety, overwhelm.
But when we allow ourselves tosay this is my season, now I'm
in a season I'm a caretakerright now, or I'm working nine
to five and building a businessright now.
(10:44):
My needs, my priorities, theway I'm looking at things is
different today than it wasthree months ago.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yes, absolutely, and it's okay.
Yes, I love that so much.
I feel like we so often justconform to what society Mm-hmm
thinks that we should be, whatour family thinks that we should
be, and especially as women.
(11:14):
I feel like we go through thesephases of our lives and we were
talking about it prior tostarting to record this, but
this post-menopause phase of mylife has been so different, so
different, so different.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
And.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I need to learn what now I enjoy, and it's.
I really have learned thatgoing out for a walk in the
morning is a happy place of mine.
I hear the birds, I feel likeconnected to the earth, I
(11:51):
connect to God and just feelthis immense gratitude.
It's just the things that bringme peace.
If you would have asked me afew years ago if I would have
liked to go walking, I wouldhave been like no, I don't have
time for that.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Right right.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
And now I'm like, oh my God, I can't.
I love this walk.
This walk is amazing.
I hear the birds chirping.
But just, it's just a differentphase and I just I've always
been such a like go-getter, Likegive me something that I have
(12:34):
like a goal for and if I believein it.
Oh, you better believe that I'mthere exactly and not that I
don't have that.
However, I really have to feelvery passionate about something
in order for me to put that muchenergy into anything because
(12:55):
I'm in a different phase of mylife.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
And yes, but that's what's so awesome.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Yeah, that's what's so awesome.
Not just being in a differentphase, but really receiving that
phase, really looking aroundand going wow, this is a
beautiful time in my life, evenwhen life is chaotic, where can
you look and go?
Yeah, things may be up and down, yes things.
Some things may be out of mycontrol, but when I can turn
(13:23):
that inward and when I can saybut what is the beauty of right
now?
It doesn't mean that I'm notgoing through.
It doesn't mean that life isn'tfrustrating right now.
It doesn't mean that I'm notgoing through.
It doesn't mean that life isn'tfrustrating right now.
It doesn't mean that everythingis glamorous.
What it means is, in the midstof everything, I can still turn
things inward and find thebeauty, understanding who my
(13:44):
identity is.
I think one of the things that Iloved so much when
rediscovering myself and who Iwas is that my value didn't
depend on circumstance.
My value didn't depend on looks.
My value didn't depend on thesize of the dress.
My value didn't depend on if Igot the kids to bed at nine.
(14:05):
My value didn't even depend onif I lost my temper.
It didn't make me this badperson, this bad woman, this bad
wife, this bad mom.
When I learned to understandthat there are human experiences
that do not affect the worth ofwho I am as a person, as a
woman, that's when I began tobecome more free, more open and
(14:28):
even more accepting of my ownerrors and mistakes.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yes, I feel, oh my God, yes, yes, yes, yes, just.
If you didn't hear that, justrewind and listen to that again.
And I feel like you you becomemore empathetic for the people
around you.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Oh, absolutely Absolutely.
I don't know how you can't be.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I feel like this empathy now for, or just a
different perspective in lookingat people's situations, rather
than and my kids get irritatedwith me about this, but like
when, even when they're havingissues with friends or whatever,
and I'm like, well, have youthought of maybe they're on
(15:10):
their monthly cycle right nowand they're just tolerance level
is not as much and maybe that'swhy they they snipped at you
because I feel like last weekyou at me too.
So I and I understood that youwere just not in a good state of
mind, but they hate that.
They're like, oh, mom, here yougo again, but it just it makes
(15:35):
you understand that there's somany different perspectives.
You don't know what someone isgoing through, you don't know
what kind of?
family life they are having andit makes you such a more
empathetic person when yourealize you have your own eras
that you go through.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
And yeah maybe my patience isn't as much right now
because my estrogen levels arereally low, and all the things,
all of the things it's alwayssomething.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Life is so awesome, right, that there's always
something that's going on.
And so if we have anopportunity to look at people
and look at situations throughtheir eyes sometimes some people
, at the end of the day, itdoesn't matter, you're just a
mean person.
But at the end of the day, ifwe take time to not just
categorize you first, but to seethe human nature in you, then I
(16:26):
really think that there wouldbe more of a gentleness one to
the other, that there would beso much more kindness, so much
more understanding.
If we don't jump to theconclusion first, absolutely, I
feel like that.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
that very much sums it up.
I feel like this world I feellike needs more compassion or
empathy and kindness, and it'sokay that you don't have the
same beliefs that I do, justlike it's okay that I don't have
the same beliefs that you doand if we can still have a
(17:04):
conversation about these things,gosh, we've evolved a lot, yes,
but it all starts with us andlearning who we are and our
identity and what helps us drivefor more and what.
Some when we need to retreat alittle bit and have our 30 45
(17:27):
minute sitcom.
That just makes us laugh likethose are the things when we
learn who we are and what makesus tick in whichever way, we
just become much more acceptingpeople.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I think, yes, we're much better for ourselves and be
much better for me than I.
I'm so much better for you.
When I went through thatmetamorphosis, when I began to
look at who are you, what do youenjoy, when I began to take my
dreams off of the back burnerbecause that was one of the
things I felt that I had missedout.
I felt that I missed my chance.
(18:03):
I missed my opportunity.
That saddened me that I wouldnever have an opportunity to do
the things that I wanted to doin life.
But when I understood thatdreams don't die because life
changes.
Dreams don't have to diebecause you become a parent.
Dreams don't have to diebecause you lost a loved one.
Dreams don't have to die.
Do we have to sometimes beflexible?
(18:25):
Absolutely.
Do some things have to be donein a different way?
Yes, they do.
So I couldn't follow the dreamthe way that I thought I was
going to, but other avenuesopened up because my priority
was really to know me and tobring my children and my family
into that side of me.
And one of the most wonderfulthings was I was able to connect
(18:46):
with people who did stageopportunities where I could
bring my children along with meto connect with people who did
stage opportunities where I canbring my children along with me.
So things sometimes what we haveto understand is when we change
in life, when we're looking atwho we are, when we're looking
at loving ourselvesunconditionally, we also want to
look at the fact that sometimesit, whatever your it is, may
(19:07):
look different, and that's okay.
What is still feeding you, whatis still pouring into you, and
remembering that those things donot determine your worth.
I had it backwards.
If I go out here and if Ibecome this actress or if I
fulfill this goal, then I'mimportant.
I had it backwards.
(19:27):
I was important the day I wasconceived.
I was important and sounderstanding that importance,
understanding that worth,understanding that identity is
through that confidence that I'mable to do and follow any and
what determines who I am, andthat was a huge lesson for me to
(19:52):
learn.
Whether you get the part,whether you don't, this happens,
whether it doesn't, whether youget the promotion, whether you
don't get the promotion, whetheryou get the job, whether you
don't get the job none of thesethings determine who you are and
your purpose, your identity,your confidence, your value,
your worth those things weredetermined before any title was
ever given.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yes, yes, oh, it's so funny.
I've had an incredible amountof amazing people in the season
two of my podcast, against AllOdds, and I want to work with
every one of them.
I want to work with every oneof them.
I want to work with all of myguests.
(20:35):
This is so good.
I'm over here like, yeah, giveit to me all.
I love it.
I it just.
It's so amazing to justremember that.
(20:58):
And there's so many things thatthat try to deter us from
remembering that true self thatwe were perfectly made when we
were made.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Yes, when we were made.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
And it was just goodness, the things that we
have all gone through, that hastried to hold us back, and it's
a shift.
It's that identity shift thatwe need to go back to
remembering the amazing humanthat we are yes, absolutely
(21:35):
Amazing soul, because I feellike this is just a vessel.
This is just a vessel, but we,who we are deep in our soul is
incredible just how they are.
Which means that it doesn'tmatter the size you are, the
color hair you have, if a graycomes out or not, if like girl.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I can show you a couple of.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I know me too If there's wrinkles like.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
I.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I have a different appreciation, I think, for aging
, because I didn't know if I wasgoing to be here past 32 years
old and so having that reality,I think, shifts a lot in your
life in like.
I woke up this morning, God,I'm so grateful.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Yes, it's a different and I don't want anyone to have
to go through any of the thingsthat I've went through or deal
with illnesses that I've gonethrough, but I think that it
comes with a differentappreciation for life.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
I agree.
I agree with you.
Early, I think my oldest Idon't even know if she was two
yet and I was in a terrible,terrible car accident.
I was almost hit head on by an18 wheeler.
It just so happens that theywere driving on the wrong side
of the.
It was only two lanes and theywere driving on the wrong side
(23:03):
and literally, I literallythought okay, this is the end of
my life, this is the processthat I was going through.
And as the truck began to getcloser and closer, the one thing
I thought this is the processthat I was going through.
And as the truck began to getcloser and closer, the one thing
I thought which is really funnywhen I think about it now I was
like wow, it's good that I havenice teeth, cause that's all
they're going to be able toidentify.
And that was my thought.
(23:24):
As I said, that was like it'sreally nice that you have nice
teeth and someone behind me.
I slammed on my brake, notknowing I don't know why I
slammed on my brake, but Islammed on the brake and I blew
the horn.
I'm like maybe he's asleep, Idon't know.
But, when I slammed on the brake, the car behind me slammed into
me, but it slammed into me justenough to shift my car over to
(23:47):
where I had blacked out, and itshifted my car over just enough
to, when I opened up my eyes,the truck had literally was next
to me.
I don't know if you could see,but he was next to me like, like
this, and he had literally justmissed me.
My windows were up and I feltall the air from him, him
missing me.
And so when you say theappreciation for just getting up
(24:13):
and, like I said, I don't eventhink my daughter was two at
that time, and so the the factthat I left her that morning in
daycare and may not have everseen her again, waking up with
her every day, being able to seeher, even while I was going
through that depression andthose suicidal thoughts, it was
(24:33):
still there, was still thislittle appreciation in there,
like wow, I still get to seeyour face and it's really her
little face that really helpedto pull me through.
So I totally understand whenyou say things are different.
You appreciate things in adifferent way when you've gone
through so so many things.
And that was, that's another,against all odds.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yes, oh, my God, that's so scary we were it was
very scary road on a road trip.
I was 17.
So I had just gotten mydriver's license and we went on
this road trip, and so it was me, my mom and my dad rotating,
and my sister was in their car,but she's younger, we're
rotating the driving.
We live in the Orlando area andwe drove up to Maine and when
(25:19):
we were driving back down, wewere on our way back and I had
just given the car over to mymom and I remember we were going
on this highway and next to uswas this 18 wheeler and there
was traffic.
Right, it was still flowing,but there was traffic and this
(25:41):
van comes like up in front of usand like minutes later, I guess
the 18 wheeler that was to ourright had fallen asleep and he
was like slowly going into theother lane that the van that was
in front of us was had to, likeparallel with him going towards
(26:04):
like the middle of the ofbetween the two ways.
It was just crazy and it couldhave been us and we were
literally watching it as itunfolded, and I remember the 18
wheeler crossed over to theother side of the oncoming
(26:26):
traffic and the van got stuck inthe median, in the middle and
at the end it hit the top of thevan and you could see the van
like moving side to side and Iwas like, oh my.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
God Wow.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
It's just so scary.
I, to this day, I just I hatedriving anywhere near any 18
wheeler.
Me too.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
I can only imagine I try to get away from it really
quickly yeah, like I will slowdown.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
You know, if I'm like , if they're like behind me, I
will speed, speed up a littlebit and get away.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
All of these years later, 18 Wheeler, it still
freaks me out.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah, yep, yep, I mean it makes sense.
So how did you go from like youwent back to acting?
I want to hear a little bitabout Disney.
What happened there?
Where can we find?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
you.
Oh, my goodness, it was soexciting.
Yes, I had an opportunity, likeI said, to do plays, and so
that feeling of wanting to actand be in front of an audience,
I had the chance to do that.
I think there was a part of methat just was like this is good,
I'm fine.
I get to still act.
The dream is different, I'mfine.
But over the years I have metdifferent people in the industry
(27:43):
, different casting directors,different producers, and my
daughter and I ended up meetinga producer wonderful producer,
cashmere Jasmine ended upmeeting her and she was working
on a project.
A few years later, she ended upworking on a project with
Disney called Launchpad.
They have Launchpad season oneand we did season two.
But when she ended up gettingon that project, the casting
(28:06):
director, she and the castingdirector I don't know if they
knew each other before or ifthey had just met at that time,
but our producer friend said tothe casting director hey, I know
someone who I think shouldaudition for this part, and I
think they were still openauditions, I didn't even know
about it.
So I tell you, god, just putsome things together.
But ended up calling my daughterand said to her hey, do you
(28:30):
think your mom will beinterested in auditioning for
this Disney part?
And I was like, would I beinterested?
I literally used to work forDisney and so it was really a
serene moment because I leftDisney 20 years prior.
I left to be at home to takecare of my children, and so for
(28:53):
it to come full circle and Iended up auditioning.
But again, this is after doingthe work and building the
confidence, because at first,when she said it, I think I got
overwhelmed and I was like, ohno, I can't audition for Disney.
And I'm like, girl step out ofit.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yes, you can.
You self-coached?
That is the best.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Yes, you can Look at what you've done, look at what
you've accomplished, look at andI'm always telling, you're
always telling your clients,once you prepare for this to go,
you better take that onyourself.
Had an opportunity to audition,I think it may have been maybe,
maybe close to a month later,when I got the, the email that I
(29:33):
had gotten the part and.
I was just like I couldn'tbelieve it.
I just couldn't believe it, andso something that was so dear
to my heart, and now it's stillstreaming on Disney plus the
launch pad series, and ourparticular project is called
project CC.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
So yeah, I love that To see myself.
Yes, that is so awesome.
I love that.
I love that.
It's funny how your storywasn't over with that.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
It wasn't over.
It wasn't over, and the thingthat I love is because I know
who I am now.
Maria, I don't think my storyever has the end.
I don't think there's an endingto it.
I think there's something new.
I'm open to new opportunities.
I'm open to learning more aboutmyself in six months a year.
Who knows?
(30:25):
I may never want to act againand that's okay, because I'm not
identified by title.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yes, I love that.
Oh my gosh, I love that so much.
Yeah, I feel like it's.
It's our continuing series.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Yes, yeah, I love that.
I love that it's our continuingseries and I'm open to another
season and I'm open to adifferent project.
Exactly, I'm just open to it.
And if this particular seasonof life gets canceled, then hey,
what's the new one?
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Exactly, I love it so very much.
It just it speaks to my soul.
What limiting beliefs do youfeel like you needed to overcome
in order for for all of this tobe in your life?
Speaker 3 (31:14):
One of the limited beliefs that I think that I
really needed to overcome isthat my, my age determines
success.
So, if you're 30, if you're 40,especially if you're 50, it's
like it's too late.
Well, you can't do this.
Well, you might as well justsit down.
Well, you're a grandmother now,and so just really
(31:37):
understanding that until I takemy last breath, I can, and I get
to add that.
I get to add that.
I get to add that.
Another limiting belief wasbecause I'm a mom, this is what
you do.
Other things have to go on theback burner or you don't get to
pursue those things.
I learned that I can stillfulfill goals and be a great mom
(31:57):
too.
I don't have to be either or,and it's okay to be flexible.
It's okay for it to lookdifferent.
I was so determined that it hasto look like this for you to be
successful, and that waslimiting for me because it had
to be like this and because itwasn't like that, I didn't see
another way.
But the thing is, I wasn'tallowing myself to see another
(32:21):
way.
When I began to look at otherthings, when I began to go well,
what are some meetup groups?
When I began to go well, whatcan you start?
You're sitting here going oh,it doesn't look like this, it's
not like that.
Well, how come you don't createsomething?
Why don't you do something?
Why don't you make it something?
We limit ourselves by thinkingwe have to.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
We have to connect with how someone else is doing
it, when you can actually createa way to do it.
Absolutely yes, yes, yes.
Oh my gosh, I listen to you allthe time.
What daily habits do you feellike have helped you get to your
level of success?
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I am a list maker, like literally I love lists and
I get excited, y'all.
Now, this is the nerd in me.
Okay, when I get my list and Istart checking stuff off, I
started getting excited.
I'm like, oh, you did this, ohyou did that, okay, girl, I love
it.
So for me, I like to be able tosee my productivity, and so I
(33:21):
make daily lists, I make weeklylists, I make monthly goals and
I'm very much of an ABC person,so I have to have a step for
everything.
What is your step for this?
And so if I can see, even if Ididn't reach that goal today, if
I can see two steps that I made, then I feel like, oh, this is
wonderful.
(33:41):
So that has become a habit ofmine that I must have for my own
sanity.
I must have order the things.
What does it look like?
I am a person who I'm very mucha planner, and my husband
laughs at me because he's likewell, let's just spontaneously
get up and go, and I'm likegreat, just let me know, me know
(34:01):
what time he's like you'remissing it again you're missing
it again.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Yes, I love.
That's hilarious and.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
I'm like sure we could be.
Yeah, we could spontaneously go.
What?
On Tuesday you want tospontaneously head over?
Speaker 2 (34:17):
you can semi disrupt my way of being semi.
You have to give me somecontext here.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
I'm trying but that one is kind of like, oh, I'm
trying to be okay, we're justgonna go, and I'm like, oh, at
what time?
Speaker 2 (34:32):
so I so I could prepare that one.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
I'm having a hard time with guys oh, that's so
funny.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah, I have become and this is, I feel like I'm
pretty good about like flying bythe seat of my pants.
That I'm good with.
However, I do feel like I'vebeen sitting in the mornings
before the craziness starts andgoing on my trusty little phone
(35:01):
and going into the calendar andthen time blocking the things
that I have to do.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Because, especially with the amount of guest
interviews that I've had in thelast like two weeks, I'm sure
I'm like, okay, I need to figureout when I'm going to get my
business done, when I'm going toget like help people get
healthy, and that's what thepassion that I found because it
saved my life and the fact thatI get to do that now I have to
(35:29):
also a time block for that.
Yes so that I can dedicate itto those clients and yes those
team members and so forth.
So it really so as much as I canjust up and go.
I also have found a lot ofserenity in my brain when I'm
(35:49):
like, okay, this is how muchtime it's going to take me to
take the kid to school, comeback be, prepared, have my
breakfast.
I have it all in my calendar.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
It is so funny that you say that, because most of
the clients that I work withthat's one of the first
exercises because I work with,that's one of the first
exercises.
Because I work with busy moms,helping them to balance or what
I like to call harmonizemotherhood with life goals and
dreams.
And so most of the time they'reagain.
They're busy, ambitious momsand they just don't see where
they have any time throughouttheir day especially for
(36:19):
self-care.
They're feeling overwhelmed andone of the first things I say to
them is I want you to keep justa daily calendar of just one
day, from six to six, five tofive, whatever it is, and I want
you to write down every singlething that you're doing
throughout that day If you're upat 5.30, if you have breakfast
by 5.20, if the kids are up at6.20 and from 6.20 to 6.45, you
(36:44):
get them ready.
If from 7 to 7.30, it takes youto get to their school, so just
give a breakdown of everysingle thing you do.
And usually there's one of twothings that happen they either
look at that day and theyunderstand why they're
overwhelmed, because we onlyhave a 100% bandwidth, that's it
, nothing more, and they'retrying to put 200% into that
(37:04):
100%, and so they're able tounderstand.
I see why I'm overwhelmed.
I see why I feel like I'm goingto just choke somebody around
three o'clock every day.
Either their eyes are opened inthat way or else they look on
the other side and they go ohwell, actually I do have a
couple of hours here that maybeI could do this, or I didn't
(37:26):
realize that I was spending timenot doing this, or I see where
I can batch, because, for me, Ibegan to learn batching when I
would take my children to sportsand things like that.
I would watch them for maybelike an hour and then I'd go to
the car for that next hour toanswer emails or just get some
me time, so they're able to seewhere they can begin batching
(37:47):
their tasks.
And so it's usually one or theother.
Sometimes I have somethingdifferent, but usually it's oh,
I see the overwhelm, or oh, Isee where I can get some things
done.
So what?
I tell people that understandingwhen I let my clients know if
you just break down your day,you really will see this is
going to blow your mind and thisis going to be the beginning of
(38:11):
you releasing chaos in your day, of you releasing overwhelm.
This is really the beginning ofyou understanding boundaries
and how to set boundaries,understanding priorities and
what means most to you in thisparticular season.
It all starts with being ableto see what does my day look
like, and you can't see thatuntil you can do exactly what
(38:33):
you're doing.
Maria, getting up and going.
This is the amount of time thatI spend here.
This is what I'm going to dothere.
I'm going to take a couple ofminutes to sit back over here
and then we actually.
That's when we begin to takebetter control of our day and
our life.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Yes, love it.
Oh my gosh, I could literallysit here and talk to you all day
long.
But seriously, thank you somuch.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
You gave so much amazing insight.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
I really truly appreciate it.
I love your confidence.
It just exudes from the screen.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Thank, you girl.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
It was a lot of work.
Yes, it was.
I love that and I just I reallyappreciate everything that you
said.
I second and third all of it.
So thank you again.
Listeners, I hope you got somuch out of this like I did.
I know that my dog out theregot a lot out of it too, because
I could hear him.
(39:28):
I like, I like your dog.
Yes, he is on it.
He knows something good when hehears it.
But thank you so very much.
I hope you have all an amazingday.
Thank you, peace out guys.
Love your life.
Bye, bye.
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