November 15, 2024 • 54 mins
What happens when two women, barely acquainted, find themselves on a journey they never imagined? Becky and Ashley’s tale of unexpected friendship formed in the shadow of cancer is nothing short of extraordinary. We unravel their compelling narrative of resilience, exploring how they turned a life-altering diagnosis into an unbreakable bond. Becky, initially dismissed by her doctor, shares her shocking experience of being diagnosed with stage three HER2 positive breast cancer, drawing poignant parallels with my own story of battling cervical cancer. Their story is a powerful reminder of human connection and the strength found in sharing one's journey.
Being a mother while fighting cancer presents its own set of challenges. Becky candidly open up about the emotional and physical struggles of parenting amidst illness. Her raw conversation reveals the profound sorrow of not being fully present for their children and the gratitude for the understanding and support they received. From meaningful connections with fellow cancer fighters to the tragic loss of a cherished friend, she underscores the importance of community and mutual understanding. The transition to NED (No Evidence of Disease) status is celebrated, signifying not just personal triumph but the shared strength that helped them through.
Their journey doesn’t just stop at survival; it blossoms into empowerment. Becky delves into their holistic approaches to healing, blending traditional treatments with alternative therapies like dietary changes and energy healing. Their podcast, "Two Girls with Cancer," is born from a desire to support others navigating similar paths. With heartfelt discussions, they stress the power of self-advocacy and trusting one's instincts in medical situations. Join us for an inspiring episode that celebrates healing, community, and the transformative power of shared stories.
Connect with Becky:
IG for Podcast: @twogirlswithoutcancer
IG for Becky: @cancerandstuff
IG for Ashley: @getlacossed
YouTube: Two Girls With (Out) Cancer
GrowthDay app offers tools, content, coaching, and community for self-improvement and success.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Less Than
1% Chance podcast with your host, Maria Aponte, where we will
hear stories of incrediblepeople thriving against all odds
, and my hope is that we can allsee how life is always
happening for us, even when weare the Less Than 1% Chance.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hey, hey, welcome back to Against All Odds, the
Less Than 1% Chance podcast,with your host, maria Aponte.
I am so excited to have youguys back.
Just be ready for thisincredible story.
I am just reading through thenotes that I had.
I'm baffled as to how peoplecome into your life and I always
(00:43):
say people come into your lifefor a reason, a season or a
lifetime and sometimes how thosepeople come into your life and
I always say people come intoyour life for a reason, a season
or a lifetime and sometimes howthose people come into your
life is mind blowing.
And so this was originallysupposed to be Ashley and Becky.
However, ashley is notavailable and we can go into
that, but I want to give you abackground of their story and
then ask Becky to jump in andgive us some story behind the
(01:07):
intro.
Basically, so Ashley and Beckywere both diagnosed with
aggressive cancers only onemonth apart in 2023.
They didn't know each other,but they had mutual friends.
They eventually connected andrealized that they lived like
five minutes apart.
Ashley was 37 at the time, asingle mom of one and diagnosed
with stage four neuroendocrinecancer, and Becky was 36 at the
(01:32):
time and married mom of two andwas diagnosed with stage three
breast cancer.
Both had a ton of treatment andboth are currently cancer free.
Yay for that.
They started a podcast recentlyto share their stories and to
help others that are goingthrough the same journey.
So, becky, welcome.
(01:53):
Thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Thank you so much for having me us.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Yeah, give my love to Ashley and if we want to just
give a snippet as to youragainst all odd story and kind
of where Ashley's at and whereyour stories combined.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Sure, so I'll just give a brief intro to who I am.
So, as you said, I'm Becky.
And yeah, I was 36 last yearand I was healthy Like I was a
healthy girl mom.
I've got two almost teenagersand I had a physical and I was
healthy, like I was a healthygirl Mom, I've got two almost
teenagers and I had a physicaland I was fine.
And I had asked the doctor to doa breast exam with the physical
(02:32):
.
He said no, we don't do thatanymore.
We'll just send you for amammogram If there's an issue.
Do you have an issue?
And I said well, I don't know,I don't think so.
So I went about my way.
Well, I don't know, I don'tthink so.
So I went about my way.
Well, four or five months latermy nipple turned in, it went
(02:53):
completely flat.
And I thought, well, that seemsodd.
And I remember reading aboutbreast cancer symptoms and that
was one of them.
And I went to the doctor sameguy and again he didn't want to
look at it and I don't know whathis deal was.
But he sent me for anultrasound and while I was there
they said you need a mammogramas well.
And I was there for just acouple minutes on the table
(03:13):
while they were looking on theultrasound.
The ultrasound they were verythorough with it, but maybe more
thorough than a regularultrasound.
But yeah, I'd only been there,it was just a short amount of
time and they said we're justgonna go get the manager as well
and she's gonna look it over.
I thought the girl was new andshe needed some help, but no,
(03:34):
it's because that they saw abunch of cancer.
So I ended up having to have abiopsy.
That day they biopsied threetumor spots, so I was thinking
one tumor, and now they foundthree tumors.
And then, after I was diagnosedand had an MRI, they had found
multiple tumors, like seven oreight or I can't even remember.
Honestly, there's parts of itthat I feel like I've actually
(03:56):
blocked out already, but therewas quite a few.
And then they'd also found someon the left side, but without
biopsying they didn't know whatthose were.
Also found some on the leftside, but without biopsying they
didn't know what those were.
So all I knew at this point isthat I was 36, healthy, and I
now had cancer.
And when the report came in itsaid stage three HER2 positive
cancer.
I didn't know what that meant.
I just knew that stage four wasa terminal diagnosis, so stage
(04:21):
three is one under that, and Iwas completely shocked, blown
away.
I had no idea that would havebeen in me, because I didn't
feel anything.
I didn't feel any lumps, Ididn't feel sick, I didn't feel
anything at all.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah, and can you?
I've never heard of it beingcalled HER2.
So can you give this kind of alittle bit of backstory on what
that means?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, so there are different types of breast cancer
there's, I guess what peoplethink of most commonly is your
estrogen progesterone positive.
So that's caused by yourovaries, right?
Your hormones are a little outof whack.
Well, mine was ERPR, estrogenprogesterone receptive negative
and HER2 positive.
So it basically just means it'scoming from a different part of
(05:07):
your body.
I almost wanted it to come frommy hormones, because then at
least then I would know why ithappened, yeah, but it didn't.
It basically is just thereceptor.
There's a HER and I can'tremember the name of it right
now but the HER2 receptor inyour body and it just it wasn't
signaling properly and then itcreates more cancer cells.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, that's so crazy .
There's just so much differentkind of things out there
diseases that you're like whensomething like this happened.
I had cervical cancer when I was18, then 19, and then twice at
32.
And I didn't understand why andhow and like why was I so young
(05:49):
and so forth.
And when I find out it wasbecause I was sexually assaulted
at 16.
And he gave me the HPV strandthat caused cancer.
And because I didn't sayanything, because I kept quiet,
I never went to the doctor,never got checked and this
manifested into this cancer.
(06:10):
And my very first well womancheckup at 18, it was already
cancer and I was like what ishappening with life right now,
and so it's.
There's so many different things, so many different ways of
these, like diseases manifestingin your body, and you're like,
(06:31):
how could you even keep up?
So when you were in thatprocess of like, is this
genetics or this is justsomething that is just one off,
yeah, it happens.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
So I had a test on a whole bunch of genetic testing
just to see if I was a carrieror had that gene.
No, it was completely a one off.
So I've joked around for thelast year like I'm just blessed.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah, absolutely and honestly I wholeheartedly
believe in.
Sometimes, when you're goingthrough it, it's really hard to
see.
But I feel like life is alwayshappening for you and not to you
.
And until you survive yourworst day, you don't realize how
strong you are.
You don't realize why you weremaybe given this unfortunate
(07:24):
blessing in disguise.
Right, you found a friend fromit.
So give us an idea of how youand Ashley came to be.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Sure, yeah.
So my first month obviously awhirlwind.
I had refused to do treatmenthere, and here is Canada and I
just didn't want to.
I thought I was going to dothis, really naturally, and so I
ended up in Mexico, in Tijuana,doing treatment, and they are
renowned for their cancerclinics in Mexico, Well, in a
(07:54):
lot of South America and CentralAmerica.
And anyway, I ended up inMexico and I remember my first
week or two being there.
A guy from high school that Ihadn't talked to in almost 20
years had sent me a Facebookmessage and he said hey, my best
friend is like our age andshe's from here and she was just
diagnosed with cancer.
And I don't know what to do.
Should I set up a GoFundMe forher?
(08:15):
Should I like?
How do I help her kind of thing?
Where should I send her fortreatment?
And so I said let me talk toher.
I found out her name.
I saw that we had a ton ofmutual friends on Facebook and I
thought how the heck don't Iknow this girl?
I grew up in this town and thenI moved away and then I've been
back for six or seven years.
So I thought, how have I nevermet?
She was even friends with mybrother, so like I don't know oh
(08:37):
my gosh.
Yeah, I don't know how we hadn'tconnected.
So I reached out and she was solovely, she was so open to
having a stranger talk to her,probably because you feel so
alone and in such a dark placewhen you're first diagnosed that
it's like if somebody canrelate to your story at like
just even one person that meanseverything.
(08:59):
And so her and I had actuallyhad connected with another girl
from our town as well I thinkshe was about 40 or 41.
So not much older than us, alsofrom the same little town, and
she had just been diagnosedactually re-diagnosed with
cancer.
She had had it before.
And so the three of us wouldtalk independently, like her and
I or me and this other girl orthose two, and we just supported
(09:22):
each other through the wholething.
Now, unfortunately, that girlhad passed away in October and
so that really I think it lit afire under Ashley's and my vets,
because we realized like thisdisease is so powerful and it
actually takes people, likeevery time that this girl would
say I found this new treatment,I feel like I'm getting better
(09:44):
and the doctors are hopeful, andlike she would send me to go
see the same doctors or the samenaturopaths as her and we'd be
on a lot of the same medicationor supplements and things, and
so that really hit home for bothof us because all of a sudden
this girl that we would bounceideas off of and support was no
longer there, and so up untilpoint, so it would, it had been
(10:06):
from March until October thatAshley and I had connected, but
never in person, just because ofmy health, her health, we just
never got together.
And so when this friend passedaway, I picked her up to go to
the funeral and her and I bothjust sat there at the funeral
bawling and even though webarely even knew this girl, but
(10:26):
it just hit home so hard forboth of us so that really united
her and I together.
So since then that was justOctober we have really deepened
our friendship and grown in it,because we've both seen NED, so
no evidence of a disease in thistime.
Hers was, I think, aroundSeptember, august, september,
(10:49):
and then mine was in December.
So we've both kind ofexperienced this together and
we've been able to support eachother.
And, as I said, like no onereally understands what you're
going through, your friends cansupport you great and in mine
have been so wonderful but noone really understands unless
they've gone through this samesort of situation yeah, and the
emotional roller coaster that ittakes.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Sometimes you could just be like, okay, and then
just like you feel like theweight of the world on you and I
remember experiencing it at 18and 19 and I just like, wait, I
haven't lived.
And then, when I experienced itat 32, and I was a single mom
of three kids, I was like thisis a whole different ballgame.
(11:34):
Now I have kids.
What happens to me if I don'ttake care of myself?
Yeah, and it made it more oflike all right, I need to put my
oxygen mask on first.
As much as I love them, I'mnumber one priority because if.
I don't take care of me.
Exactly, I won't be here forthem, yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
And I talk about that a lot because she's a single
mom.
Her boy was three when she wassick and my girls were 10 and 12
when I got sick and like how doyou be there for them when
you're going through some stuff?
I went away for six weeks fortreatment and now I was away
from them and maybe this is likea TMI moment.
But my youngest daughter, shewas 10, she got her period the
(12:16):
day before I left and I wasn'tthere to be with her, like to
navigate.
Luckily she had her oldersister and her grandma was
around.
But I said to her I'm so sorrythat I'm leaving you alone to do
this.
And my kids understood becausethey were older, but like
Ashley's son, he was three, sohe doesn't understand.
She said even now he struggleswith it.
(12:38):
Mom, don't die, please don'tleave things like that as a now
four-year-old, leave things likethat as a now four-year-old.
So it's really hard to parentand you feel so much.
Shame, mom, shame mom guilt,whatever that is.
Because you haven't been there ahundred percent of the time for
them or you don't have theenergy to be there for them,
(12:58):
Even though, when you take astep back and look at it like
you've done the best that youabsolutely can.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Absolutely.
I, oh my gosh, I feel that somuch.
The year that happened, my kidsobviously didn't get the best
of me and I held my son back infifth grade where, like I, had
to sit down with the principaland explain listen, he struggled
(13:26):
this year and I wasn't there tobe able to help and guide him a
little bit better, pick up thepieces.
This is the situation and I'mforever grateful to that
principal.
He graduated just a few weeksago now and from high school and
(13:47):
it was the same principal hemoved from the elementary school
to the high school.
So I was just like you'veliterally been there for us in
so many different aspects.
I'm so thankful.
But then, at the same time, Ihad my oldest daughter, which
was in sixth grade at the timeand she was struggling and they
(14:07):
wouldn't allow her to be heldback and she struggled all the
way through high school andgraduated, but always graduated
like being like pushed ahead.
And.
I saw the difference in what theconfidence that it built in my
son versus the struggle that myoldest was going through and my
(14:28):
little one was stillkindergarten kind of thing.
But so she, she was fine.
And it's mind blowing what wehave to do to then understand
that we have to just take careof us, because at this point
everything has to pause andunfortunately life doesn't pause
but our roles sometimes have toand we have to allow others to
(14:53):
take it, come in and that feelswrong sometimes because we
handle so much.
But yeah, it's definitelysomething that unfortunately, we
still feel guilt around.
Oh yeah, and it should actuallybe celebrated.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Oh, yeah, I know there's so many events that I
missed my kids sporting eventsand things like that, whether
because I was in Mexico fortreatment or I was just sick
here because I did end up doingchemo here, and there was a lot
of events I missed.
And there was this one day atmy kid's soccer where they they
do their three, two, one go andthey were like three, two, one,
(15:32):
becky, and they sent me thevideo and I just like bawled my
eyes out and it was like Iwanted to be there so bad.
And even now, like this seasonfor everything, there are a lot
of days where I'm just too tiredto go, like I want to be there.
I feel like there's no reasonwhy I can't be there, but it's
like I'm so tired.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah, and I know it's hard to even think about.
But having grace with ourselvesis we are being the example for
our family.
So what we grant ourselves iswhat they are going to be able
to number one grant forthemselves and grant others.
(16:14):
And so sometimes we have to lookback and say you know what,
like they have the best exampleof having this problem and doing
whatever it took to get to thissolution or this progress and
and sometimes we don't see itthat way, especially when we're
(16:36):
in it and we're feeling all thefeelings and all the things are
like happening but the fact thatwe're able to be that example
for them because I know that mykids can handle anything,
because they were able to handlealready their worst day- yeah.
And so it's a great way oflooking at it, yeah yeah, and
(17:00):
prepares them right.
It prepares them for havingmore empathy, compassion, love
for others.
The way that we handle thingsis that literally their roadmap
to how to be a good person andcompassionate and so forth.
So I know sometimes it's sohard because we're in it, yeah,
(17:20):
and we're just exhausted, andbut it just it feels when you
look back, I think it's easierto see how that connects to
something so much more beautiful.
So what do you feel were thebiggest challenges through this
journey, other than theparenting stuff?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Well, at first the challenge was it just people's
opinions about what I should do,like I was very set on going a
holistic route, like no one wasgoing to change my mind.
And even my husband was like,no, you need to do chemo and
surgery and radiation becausethat's what you do.
And I was really strugglingwith that because I thought this
(18:06):
is my body and I get to do whatI want with it.
But the problem is like whenyou take a holistic route, it's
going to cost you some money andwe just didn't have it.
It's just to say all of asudden oh yeah, we need X amount
of thousands of dollars to goto treatment.
We didn't have it and, yeah, hestruggled with the idea of that
.
He didn't want us to go intodebt over this, when we live in
(18:28):
Canada and majority of mytreatment is free.
Yeah.
I just I didn't want that formyself.
And even getting my family onboard and even some friends like
they thought why, what are youdoing going to Mexico for
treatment?
You have what people considertop of the line treatment here
in Canada.
But I didn't want that for meand so I went to Mexico, I did
(18:50):
my thing and when I came back Istill needed more.
And I think that was probablythe biggest challenge was even
humbling myself enough to acceptthe help here, knowing that I
was going to lose my hair,knowing that I was going to lose
my boob.
Like that was very humbling.
And it took me a long time.
(19:11):
Like I didn't startconventional treatment here in
Canada until the end of June andI'd been diagnosed February 1st
.
So it had taken me a while toactually get on board.
And then the treatment startsand you're just so gassed from
it.
So there was a lot of challenges, for sure, through all of it,
but I really do believe that allof the holistic stuff that I
(19:33):
did leading up to it reallyprepared my body to handle it.
And I actually sailed throughchemo pretty well.
I felt like it was hard at thetime but looking back and
comparing it to other people'sjourneys with it, I think I
sailed through it.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Yeah, so what kind of treatment did you do
holistically?
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Oh my gosh, what didn't I do so when I went to
Mexico?
I well, funny enough, the firstday I get there, both of my
doctors down there say you needto do chemo, and I said no, I
don't need to do chemo, likethat's why I came here.
They convinced me that I wasgoing to do chemo and I did a
low dose.
It's called insulin potentiatedtherapy in Mexico.
(20:15):
So I didn't lose my hair, Ididn't feel sick, nothing like
that, and it actually workedvery well and all of the tumors
in the breast itself were gone,but the lymph nodes were still
left.
In that it's obviously the bigone.
But anyway, I did a bunch ofIVs there.
So glutathione, which is like amaster antioxidant in your body,
I was getting IVs of that.
(20:35):
Sodium bicarbonate, so like abaking soda, it's just to create
alkalinity in your body.
A multivitamin one obviously,vitamins are pretty
self-explanable.
What are the other ones now?
Calculation therapy, so that'sa heavy metal detox, okay.
And then DMSO that one is forinflammation in your body.
(20:55):
So your body will really likeit can't host cancer in an
alkaline body or a low inflamedbody.
Cancer loves inflammation andacidity.
So yeah.
And so I did that there.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
And so did you change your way of eating and yeah,
completely.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
As soon as I found out, I went raw vegan and I I
hated it, to be honest.
And it didn't last long becauseit just didn't sit well with my
body.
I'm a big believer in eatingfor your blood type and things
like that.
So I'm an O positive, which isa red meat eater, and so to go,
(21:35):
raw vegan, a lot of vegetables.
I was in a lot of pain and Ihad so much brain fog.
It just did not sit well with mybody.
But everything that I had beenreading about breast cancer said
that meat is very inflammatoryfor you and yeah, I think that
there's.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I feel like there needs to be further research.
Research, if you will because Ifeel like the where it's coming
from is important.
How they raise their cows,whatever is important, that, I
think, is super.
What I've learned right in myyears of.
(22:12):
It's been eight and a half yearssince I've well now nine years
since I had cancer last, and Ifeel like that it is all
relative, to like it's justchanging.
I had to change my lifestylecompletely.
I never ate vegetables.
I'm Hispanic and apparently wedon't believe in at least Puerto
(22:37):
Ricans don't believe in havingvegetables in their diet,
because I grew up not doing it.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
A lot of carbs, a lot of meat.
A lot of carbs, a lot of fried.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
A lot of fried and so if we think of, and then a lot
of sweets too.
So like sugar, like how sugarinflames your body and how like
there's just so many things thatI had to flip in my own health
and then, like moving my body, Iwasn't working out.
That helps with the depressionthat I was dealing with and with
(23:10):
just getting my body healthydrinking water.
Oh my gosh, what a concepttrying.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
I it's so hard.
Yeah, I should all take a sipright now right, let's take a
water break I never drink waterand every time I go for any sort
of treatment they're like whereare your veins?
Speaker 1 (23:30):
I'm like I don't know I drink about a gallon a day.
I just know that I need to fillthis four times.
Okay, that's a lot, it's pretty.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
It's so pretty.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
And I, and it's good when you have a straw, because
if you think about it like whenyou're like trying to chug up
water, it's so much more workthan just opening and sipping
Right.
So I found I figured out whatwould work for me, and those
things were like I have a prettywater bottle it's my friends
(24:06):
call it my emotional supportwater bottle.
I carry it around everywhereand because that is the only
thing that I drink, that andlike my pre-workout, which is
all natural as well.
So I found things that I neededto figure out in my nutrition
and my daily habits and that wasthe catalyst.
(24:28):
The biggest thing was themindset.
The mindset was everything,because I felt like if I wasn't
listening to some type ofpersonal growth or inspirational
things, the negative thoughtsjust took over.
(24:48):
Go to the dark place, oh my gosh, that dark place is so hard to
get out of when you haveeverything else coming at you.
So I started my days withlistening to 10 minutes of some
type of personal growth, and soit just became those little
habits of a full lifestylechange that shifted everything
(25:10):
around and I was just like, ohand once I went in.
So I had my first surgery in2015, in June, and then I was
supposed to go four months laterto get checked.
And I did and the follow up,the cancer had come back.
And so, october, I was like Ihad started my health journey at
(25:34):
the end of August.
So I had been like a month and ahalf in and I felt like the
weight of the world and my I wasin an accountability group and
I told my accountability partnerI was like I'm tapping out, I'm
done, I can't, this is too much, I can't handle all of it all
at the same time.
She's like you are not stopping.
(25:55):
You are making so much progress, you are not stopping.
And they made sure that Istayed accountable to my journey
right, and when I went, Idecided that I was going to get
a full hysterectomy.
I was 32 years old, with adaughter that had just been
diagnosed bipolar, and it likelife was chaos and I was like
(26:16):
how am I going to go throughmenopause with?
because they weren't going to beable to save my ovaries either?
How am I going to go throughmenopause dealing with the
things that I'm dealing with,like how is this even going to
be possible?
But I was like you know what,I'm just gonna just allow life
to happen and I'll figure it out.
And I went in December 9th formy hysterectomy and he was going
(26:42):
to try to save one of myovaries the other one I didn't
have already, but that had ahuge cyst in it and he was like
I'm going to end up having tocome back and take it out, so
I'm just taking everything outnow.
And I was like, okay, we dowhat we have to do whatever A
week later out now.
And I was like, okay, we dowhat we have to do, whatever.
A week later it was actually my33rd birthday and the day that I
(27:03):
had to go for my follow-up formy pathology, and the doctor's
like there's no signs of cancer.
I was like what?
I was in shock.
I was like and I don't know ifyou can relate to this, but I
was like why did I have to havethis damn surgery?
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Yeah, if there was no cancer in there.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
If there was no cancer in there.
But then at the same time I wasso grateful and so like, okay,
well, I don't have to worryabout this cancer again.
So it was just like all thesemixed emotions, Like bittersweet
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
yeah, I felt the same way when I had the mastectomy,
because when they did thepathology on that, it had shown
that everything had reversed,like you could see in the lymph
nodes and everything that cancerhad been there and now it had
gone back to normal, which theysaid would probably well, they
hoped would happen with the typeof treatment that I was on.
And then I was like, well, frig, why, why did I lose an entire
(28:01):
boob?
Then, yeah, seriously, justgone in there and taken a biopsy
or something.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
but yeah, I know, and it is that bittersweet and I
feel like sometimes you justhave to just trust that things
are working out the way theyneed to.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Yeah, there's a process that you have to trust,
and it took me a long time totrust it because I was so anti
everything I wouldn't even takea Tylenol unless I felt like I
was dying before this and thenall of a sudden having to take
all these medications andtrusting my doctor's plans and
stuff, it was, like I saidbefore, very humbling experience
(28:37):
for me.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, and I think it makes us grow as humans just
opens our eyes to there's justso much more that can happen.
My dad, he passed away inOctober of 2022 from cancer, but
he was very anti any medication, any treatment at all.
He was diagnosed first in 2020.
(28:58):
And I was like Dad.
I understand that you thinkthat grandma and my uncle, his
brother, what killed him was thetreatment, but that was also
like 20 plus years ago.
Things have changed and there'sdifferent treatments and I'm
(29:19):
not telling you to go do it.
I'm just telling you go seesomebody and make the informed
decision.
And he was like nope, nope,nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
So they did surgery.
He had bladder cancer, so theyremoved his bladder.
He had a little baggie for theurine, so this was a whole new
living, everything.
(29:41):
He had never been in a hospitaluntil he was 72 years old,
which was a blessing and then, ayear later, we find out that it
had spread and so he ended uphaving another surgery and he
felt like the neuropathy issues.
(30:03):
He felt the pain in his feetand it.
I am guessing that it, the, thetumors were sitting on a nerve,
but because he just couldn'texplain the, the pain in his
feet, so we had him get like afull scan head to toe and that
was something that like he waslike I just need this pain to go
(30:26):
away.
And when he finally talked tothe oncologist, it was like she
took the time to explaineverything to him and made him
feel like he was in charge ofhis treatment.
She was just the facilitator.
And I was just like I went toevery single one of his
(30:48):
appointments.
I was there like asking all thequestions and taking all the
notes and he just it was thecraziest thing and I get like
all emotional just thinkingabout it.
But I remember him going fromlike I'm just going to go see
this person but I'm not doingany treatment to I'll do
(31:08):
whatever you think is right.
And I looked at my mom and Iwas like did he just said what?
I think he said Like are wescheduling this?
It was the craziest thing hegot.
He started chemotherapy andthis man completely was like
(31:29):
10,000 percent better and he hadenergy and he didn't really
lose his hair and like the painin his feet stopped.
like almost immediately Like itwas insane, and I was just like,
wow, dad, like this is crazy.
(31:49):
And so he went through histreatments and he did.
I want to say it was like sixto nine months of treatments I
don't remember off the top of myhead, starting in 2021.
And then when he got intoimmunotherapy it reversed
everything.
Like yeah, which is where youthink immunotherapy helps your
(32:12):
immune system fight all this off.
No, it did completely theopposite for him, and so we
weren't able to get him back onchemo like quick enough for them
to do anything.
So he did pass away in October.
Thank you, October 2022.
But one of the things that Isaid to him and again, I was
(32:33):
there, I'm so blessed that I wasthere throughout this whole
time us, that I was therethroughout this whole time.
One of the things that I saidto him was like I'm so happy
that you are leaving this worldknowing that the treatment
wasn't what killed you andknowing that, like you did get
(32:53):
better from treatment and likeyou completely shifted your
whole mindset around what thingscould help you.
And so it's so funny how, likewe are so set on like nope, this
is not for me, and thenperspectives change and it's
(33:15):
okay for that.
It is humbling, it's okay forthat to humble you in some ways
that you're just like again forme, the same.
I feel like that surgery I wasjust like, so like I took about
a week to get back to the doctorand say, all right, let's do
this, Because I was just like isthis even worth it?
Like, is menopause at 32, 33years old going to be worth like
(33:41):
.
There's just so much moreissues that can come from that,
and so it.
I'm experiencing them now LikeI'm like drenched in sweat, hot
flashes.
It is worth it.
I've gotten so many more yearsof health from it, so so funny
(34:03):
how all that works.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
I understand that because my chemo also put me
into menopause or I don't knowif it's full-blown.
The the hot flashes havestopped through chemo.
They were the absolute worst,like I would get them in the
most inconvenient places, likeon an airplane or in the middle
of a wedding, or, and I would belike I need to get out of here
immediately and I would just sitthere like this.
(34:25):
I want to rip my wig off, Iwanted to just get naked.
Yeah, those stopped after chemostopped and they haven't come
back.
But I know that there are othersigns for sure my body's going
through it?
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I definitely, yeah, it's.
I've learned a lot I've.
I don't know if you've heard ofor seen her on social media,
but there's a doctor that hadjust put out a new book called
the new menopause.
It's dr marie claire haver.
Mind blown, I feel so seen andheard.
There was a study from fromyears ago that just made hormone
(35:04):
replacement therapy a like, adon't do like.
Your chances of cancer go upand so forth.
And I that's what I was awareof.
And so when I had that, thedoctor's like, well, are we
going to put you on hormonereplacement therapy?
And I was like I don't needmore cancer in my life.
(35:24):
No and so for eight and a halfyears, I'm sitting here like no
hormone replacement therapy andI could have lived a much better
life.
It is very eye-opening.
I'm very happy that there's somuch more information now, but I
would urge you to probably likelisten or look for her on
(35:48):
social media.
Everything she puts out is sogood and I'm just like gosh,
this is such great informationfor anybody any woman, any man
like that or is going to dealwith either a spouse, a parent,
a child with any hormone issueslike it gives you so much
(36:09):
information because this wasn'ttalked about in it.
We weren't taught this, so it'syeah, I heard.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
I am definitely interested in that, like I have
been also told, because I hadbreast cancer.
Though it was hormone negative,the chances of getting a
hormone breast cancer is veryhigh.
So they say don't take anythingwith hormones in it.
So I'm very cautious.
And same with Ashley, becausewe haven't talked about it.
But she had neuroendocrinecancer and hers is a hormone
(36:38):
cancer so she's also not allowedto be on anything hormone
related.
So we always joke on our showshe's.
She cries all the time andshe's like I can't do anything
about it.
My hormones are out, yeah, soit'd be cool even just to learn
some things that you can dowithout necessarily taking
(36:58):
hormone replacement therapy oreating whatever Like it would be
cool to learn.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
So she has.
She has like a toolkit at theend of the book that tells you
this is the symptom, these arethe, this is the like
nutritional route, this is themedical route, this is whatever.
It is so good.
I'm like, oh my gosh, I'meating all of this information,
I'm getting that book.
(37:22):
That sounds so good, so good.
Yeah, it's definitely opened myeyes.
So can you give us maybe alittle bit of background on
Ashley and because I'm imaginingthat you know her story pretty
well- yeah for sure.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
So yeah, she was diagnosed last year.
She just was having thesestomach pains and she didn't
know what it was.
And she ended up at thehospital and they had said your
appendix had burst.
And so she thought, okay,that's great, because that's
what the pain is.
Right, who would ever thinklike, no, it's actually, it's
cancer?
But yeah, so she had theappendix removed.
(37:57):
They send it off for pathology.
I guess anytime a piece of youcomes out, they send it for that
, which is smart.
And so they called her back.
I think it took a few weeks.
They called her back and saidit's actually cancer and because
her appendix had burst, withthe cancer inside, it just shot
it everywhere.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
So they had to go back in.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
Yeah, they had to go back in within the month and do
a very invasive surgery.
I think she lost 30 lymph nodes, a good chunk of her colon, one
of her ovaries and fallopiantubes.
30 lymph nodes, a good chunk ofher colon, one of her ovaries
and fallopian tubes, theperitoneum tissue that like
surrounds your organs.
They took a bunch of that andthey were in there scraping.
They had to really cleaneverything out.
(38:40):
So she lost a ton in thatsurgery.
And then it, because of how muchdamage they did in there, it
caused a major bowel obstructionin two spots.
So all of the scar tissue wascreating, yeah, bowel
obstruction.
And normally with a bowelobstruction they say like it can
clear itself for as long as youstart going to the bathroom.
(39:01):
But it wasn't like that for herbecause it wasn't necessarily a
backup, it was scar tissuepushing on it.
So she had to go in for anothersurgery and get that cleaned up
.
And yeah, and the reason she'snot here today is because she
was back in the hospitalyesterday.
They think the bowelobstruction is back.
So when the past year, if shehas to do another surgery,
that'll be four surgeries andtwo colonoscopies.
(39:24):
So she's been on a lot of meds alot of time in bed and that's
where we say a lot of that momguilt comes from, because she
has to spend a lot of time andshe has a three, four year old
they need a lot of attention.
My girls are happy to just godo their thing right.
They're teenagers, they're 1311.
Now they don't care about whatmom wants to do, but a four year
old wants to be with mom allthe time.
(39:47):
Yeah, she have a support systemshe lives with her mom and her
sister and I know that they areamazing help for her, for sure.
I think she actually has acouple sisters.
I am not entirely sure what theliving situation is for them,
but yeah, she definitely has themom and her sister close by.
(40:07):
Yeah, you can't do it alone.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
You really it is it, it, it really does take a
village at that point, like,especially as a single mom, that
you don't necessarily have the,that spouse or that partner to
pick up the pieces.
It literally takes a villageand it's like, can you pick them
up from school or whatever?
And it, it's, yeah, so it'simportant to have a community.
(40:31):
Yeah, experiencing that.
Do you know if she's everconsidered something like reiki
or like an energy healing kindof thing.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
I'm not sure.
She definitely does counseling.
She sees a lot of counselors.
She goes for acupuncture andphysio and chiro and things like
that.
I don't know about energy, yeah, ever really come up.
I'm going to guess probably not.
Yeah, but I will say one thingtoo about the type of cancer
that Ashley had slash has isthat there's no cure for it at
(41:07):
all.
It's one of those ones where youjust cut it out and then when
it comes back you cut it outagain and they told her it's not
if it comes back, it's when itcomes back.
And then they said when itcomes back and hits a major
organ, she has between sixmonths and 15 years to live.
It's like the weirdestprognosis.
So her doctors never gave her alot of hope at all.
(41:28):
So for her she really changedher lifestyle and everything.
She is on so many supplementsand herbal medications and she
had to do all that research onher own or through naturopaths
or whatever, just because forher she feels like there's not a
lot of hope for what she has.
So she's doing everything thatshe can to keep her body
(41:50):
alkaline and low inflammationand just healthy.
She doesn't eat any refinedsugar.
She doesn't drink, or maybe theodd time we we all have the odd
drink time, but not like, butnot in a normal thing.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Yeah, yeah, have a look into it.
So I've done Reiki before from.
I've had Reiki done to me and itcleared out a lot of stuck
energy if you will, and so Iwent and I like did my Reiki
certification, like for one andtwo or something.
(42:24):
There's like three levels, andso the reason that I bring it up
is because I'm literally likereading a book called the
Foundation of Reiki and I'm inthat part where it says the
things that it could help with,and so you never know what kind
of energy is stuck in her bodythat may just need to be cleared
.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Well, one thing that we've really learned in this
journey is that trauma, whetherresolved or unresolved, it's, it
finds a spot in your body andit becomes a physiological part
of your body.
It's not just trauma is mental,and then it's gone when you're
not thinking about it anymore.
No, it finds itself in there.
And so when I said before I wasjust blessed, I'm not a genetic
(43:08):
cancer or not a hormonal cancer, it's like I I'm going to guess
that it was probably a lot ofrepressed trauma.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Yeah, and I just which was mine oh, I feel you,
that was mine was the sexualassault at 16.
I stayed quiet for three yearsand, since I could remember, I
remember not being able to gofor like a full body massage.
When I did, I would say justdon't touch my lower back, like
(43:35):
my lower back to like my middleof my glute, don't touch because
it hurts to the touch.
And so I always like dealt withback pain and I didn't know
what I was getting.
My friend, she was one of myclients.
I used to be in the hotelindustry and she was one of my
clients and she worked for thishotel that was like a spa hotel,
(43:57):
right, and so everything wascentered around their spa and
there was this healing energymassage and I had no idea what
it was.
And she's like, oh my God, Itried this thing, I'm going to
get it for you because I thinkthat you would love it.
And I was like okay, so I go inwithout any like thought of
anything.
And she, I tell her I'm justlike just be careful with my
(44:20):
lower back.
And so she lays me down and Ididn't know like there's like
sound bowls and all.
It's like very pretty airy andwhatever, and I'm based down and
I feel her kind of likehovering over my body and then
she was like, oh yeah, I feelall of this sexual trauma right
here in my right side of mylower back and it was like she
(44:47):
hit the nerve or whatever thatwas holding all of that and I
cried for an hour, that wholesession.
I just I cried and cried andcried and cried and she's like
just keep letting it out.
So later, years later, I come tofind out that's Reiki.
I had no idea what it was.
It was like this hangover.
(45:08):
When I got off of the table Iwas just like like this
emotional hangover, yeah.
And so years later I find outthat the energy healing is Reiki
.
And then this is what it doesand I was just like, wow, that's
so crazy.
And since then I haven't hadany issues with my back at all.
So the fact that, like, yeah, Iwholeheartedly believe in this,
(45:33):
and when you're ready to learn,the teacher appears.
I had this mentor that said,when your body is in dis ease,
it creates disease.
And that's exactly what it islike.
It's our traumas create thisdis ease in our body.
So then, yeah, it makes sense,like, I'm finding.
Speaker 3 (45:53):
Well, I was very notorious I still am, but I'm
notorious for pushing everythingdown.
I'm tough, I don't want to showemotion, I don't want to show
my kids emotion, I don't want todeal with the stuff that I've
gone through.
So I push it and, even throughtreatment, push, push, push,
push, push.
And so now that I'm in the sortof end stages here of
everything and I see physiononstop I even started doing
(46:17):
pelvic floor physio and I dochiropractor and massage and
acupuncture and I'm finding allof those things together are
really finding trauma spots andthey're coming out.
Because I've been so emotional,like even last night for no
reason I started this huge fightwith my husband.
But why Like I don't?
I think because today, rightafter this, is my very last
(46:41):
treatment for cancer and I'mreally excited about it.
But it's also very emotionaland it's just like, instead of
dealing with whatever it is thatI'm feeling, I'm like let's
pick a fight with somebody.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that, as you are more
aware of it, I feel like thatwill allow you to just be more
in touch and be like all right,well, let me back it up, honey.
So I'm sorry that thisexpressed itself this way.
(47:16):
This is what I'm truly feeling.
It doesn't happen like from onemoment to the next, but the
fact that, little by little, youare allowing those things to be
released, it is going to changeeverything.
It's important, it's emotionalregulation, right?
So what we don't teach our kidslike we were talking earlier,
(47:38):
what we don't teach our kids,they won't be able to do so,
like if we want them to be ableto emotionally regulate, we got
to show them.
I'm sad right now and I'mfeeling sad.
However, I'm sorry that I blewup at you.
That wasn't my intention.
My intention wasn't that I haveteenagers and 20 year olds, so
(48:01):
like it's been a huge learninglesson for me because I before I
didn't want to show my kidsemotion.
I went through a divorce and Iwas like I would get them to bed
and then I would go in myshower and cry in there, and
that wasn't necessarily the bestway, because then they didn't
know how to process all theemotions that were happening
(48:24):
with them, and it has just beensuch a journey.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
My goodness, I get that I'm also divorced from my
kid's dad.
And, yeah, it was very nastymarriage and it was a very nasty
divorce and I tried really hardto protect my kids from seeing
that they saw the odd thing, butI really did protect it.
And so it got to the pointwhere I was just packing it all
(48:50):
in.
I was holding on to so much and, you know, when my kids were
getting a bit older and theywere saying things like Mom,
you're the reason that you anddad are divorced, or you are
this and you're, and I'm justlike you're, yeah, you're right,
you know, just holdingeverything in.
And and then it got to the pointlike I feel like when I was
married before I was a littlenuts, like I was young and I
(49:12):
guess I don't know hormonalyoung babies, I was a little
crazy.
And then when I started datingmy now husband, I wanted to be
so opposite of that, like I'mjust so chill to the point where
I am so nonchalant abouteverything that it's like there
needs to be a happy medium whereI'm feeling things and I'm
(49:33):
expressing things, where I setboundaries for myself and I'm
not just letting people walk allover me.
So I haven't quite found thatyet, but definitely through this
journey I'm learning that, yeah, I'm really important to me and
I need to take care of that notjust physically, but
emotionally yes, those arebeautiful lessons.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
Actually, I'm just floored by this.
So then, how?
Really quick, because Iobviously want to get to this.
How did you then come to theidea of a podcast with Ashley I?
Speaker 3 (50:03):
just randomly put it out there one day, like months
and months ago, and she's like,yeah, that'd be cool.
And like we're notorious forlike yeah's get together and
then we never do, or like let'sdo this, we never do.
So finally one day I'm like, doyou want to start a podcast?
Like just more recently, she'slike, I love that idea.
I'm like, okay, come over,let's just do it.
And so she came over and weborrowed a friend of mine and
(50:32):
we're like let's just do it.
And so that's how it started.
And we're like, what are we totalk about?
And we get on that camera andit's like because there's so
much stuff just packed in therethat needs to come out.
And our podcast is called twogirls with cancer.
Not everything is going to beabout cancer, it's just more
like what we're going through.
And for me, I love research, Ilove science based things, but
(50:54):
we've barely even gotten toanything like that on the
podcast.
Because, like there's so muchemotional stuff going on for
both of us and it's like sohealing to get it out there and
to be able to talk about it andto know you're not alone and
yeah, just yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
I sort of community love that so much because it
isn't necessarily about thecancer part of it.
It's just about like those, youtwo girls that are dealing with
this, and what does that entail?
In overall, I love that so muchand I do think that's very
healing.
It's very therapeutic to beable to talk about it,
(51:31):
especially with somebody thatunderstands.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
I also think it gives perspective to people who knew
us but saw the repressed put ona happy face version of us, even
our closest people, who saw uson our worst days, who still
didn't quite understand, likethe impact of what they're going
through or like, yeah, whenwe're being vulnerable on our
podcast talking about the momguilt or whatever.
(51:57):
I think people didn't know thatrealize people didn't realize
what we're going through and,like I said before, I flew
through chemo and so you wouldnever know that I was sick and
same with Ashley because shenever did chemo radiation she
still looks the same.
So a lot of people neverunderstood like the severity of
stage three and stage fourcancers, even stage one cancers,
(52:18):
like really like the severityof anything that you're going
through.
People just didn't reallyunderstand because they just saw
the same happy version or thesame done up version that they
always saw.
Speaker 1 (52:30):
Yeah, I agree, I'd never did chemo or anything like
that, because mine was kind oflike Ashley's, like you.
Just it came and then you cutit out, and then it came again
and cut it off again, and so itwas just like the four times
that I got it it was that, anduntil they were like all right,
(52:50):
well, you've had your kids, nowlet's take everything out, and I
was like I don't know if I'mready for that.
I know I'm not sure if that'swhat I want, but I guess that is
what it's going to be and I seeit as a blessing now, even
though I'm feeling therepercussions of it.
Still, I'm still here.
(53:12):
So that's, that is a blessingin itself, right?
Speaker 3 (53:15):
Absolutely it is.
We've been through harder stuff.
Speaker 1 (53:18):
I know it's so good, so I just want to say like,
thank you.
Is there anything else that youfeel like want anybody to hear,
or something that comes to yourheart before we wrap up?
Speaker 3 (53:31):
Ash and I say this on every show like you need to
advocate for yourself because noone else is going to Like.
If your doctor tells you you'retoo young or it's not this, or
you don't need a mammogram, oryou don't need a breast exam,
just push for it.
If you feel a certain way, pushfor it, because it's better to
be safe than sorry.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
I absolutely agree, a hundred percent.
Thank you so, so, very much.
This was amazing, becky.
Give my love to Ashley.
Hopefully one day we will beable to reconnect and and yeah,
I think that this was amazing.
Thank you for yourvulnerability and for just
allowing the space for ourlisteners to get in a little bit
(54:12):
of what you've gone through.
So I appreciate it, thank youfor having me.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
I loved being able to share with you.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
Excellent.
So listeners for you.
Thank you so much for joiningus today.
I hope you got so much out ofthis.
I appreciate the fact that Icould keep this going because
I've met so many amazingindividuals like Becky, and I
just feel like I'm sharing thesepeople with you guys and it's
(54:40):
just the coolest thing ever.
So thank you for listening.
I will put their informationfor their podcasts and
everything on the show notes, soI hope you have an amazing rest
of your day.
Peace out, guys.
Love your life.
Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Less Than
1% Chance podcast with your host, Maria Aponte, where we will
hear stories of incrediblepeople thriving against all odds
, and my hope is that we can allsee how life is always
happening for us, even when weare the Less Than 1% Chance.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hey, hey, welcome back to Against All Odds, the
Less Than 1% Chance podcast,with your host, maria Aponte.
I am so excited to have youguys back.
Just be ready for thisincredible story.
I am just reading through thenotes that I had.
I'm baffled as to how peoplecome into your life and I always
(00:43):
say people come into your lifefor a reason, a season or a
lifetime and sometimes how thosepeople come into your life and
I always say people come intoyour life for a reason, a season
or a lifetime and sometimes howthose people come into your
life is mind blowing.
And so this was originallysupposed to be Ashley and Becky.
However, ashley is notavailable and we can go into
that, but I want to give you abackground of their story and
then ask Becky to jump in andgive us some story behind the
(01:07):
intro.
Basically, so Ashley and Beckywere both diagnosed with
aggressive cancers only onemonth apart in 2023.
They didn't know each other,but they had mutual friends.
They eventually connected andrealized that they lived like
five minutes apart.
Ashley was 37 at the time, asingle mom of one and diagnosed
with stage four neuroendocrinecancer, and Becky was 36 at the
(01:32):
time and married mom of two andwas diagnosed with stage three
breast cancer.
Both had a ton of treatment andboth are currently cancer free.
Yay for that.
They started a podcast recentlyto share their stories and to
help others that are goingthrough the same journey.
So, becky, welcome.
(01:53):
Thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Thank you so much for having me us.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Yeah, give my love to Ashley and if we want to just
give a snippet as to youragainst all odd story and kind
of where Ashley's at and whereyour stories combined.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Sure, so I'll just give a brief intro to who I am.
So, as you said, I'm Becky.
And yeah, I was 36 last yearand I was healthy Like I was a
healthy girl mom.
I've got two almost teenagersand I had a physical and I was
healthy, like I was a healthygirl Mom, I've got two almost
teenagers and I had a physicaland I was fine.
And I had asked the doctor to doa breast exam with the physical
(02:32):
.
He said no, we don't do thatanymore.
We'll just send you for amammogram If there's an issue.
Do you have an issue?
And I said well, I don't know,I don't think so.
So I went about my way.
Well, I don't know, I don'tthink so.
So I went about my way.
Well, four or five months latermy nipple turned in, it went
(02:53):
completely flat.
And I thought, well, that seemsodd.
And I remember reading aboutbreast cancer symptoms and that
was one of them.
And I went to the doctor sameguy and again he didn't want to
look at it and I don't know whathis deal was.
But he sent me for anultrasound and while I was there
they said you need a mammogramas well.
And I was there for just acouple minutes on the table
(03:13):
while they were looking on theultrasound.
The ultrasound they were verythorough with it, but maybe more
thorough than a regularultrasound.
But yeah, I'd only been there,it was just a short amount of
time and they said we're justgonna go get the manager as well
and she's gonna look it over.
I thought the girl was new andshe needed some help, but no,
(03:34):
it's because that they saw abunch of cancer.
So I ended up having to have abiopsy.
That day they biopsied threetumor spots, so I was thinking
one tumor, and now they foundthree tumors.
And then, after I was diagnosedand had an MRI, they had found
multiple tumors, like seven oreight or I can't even remember.
Honestly, there's parts of itthat I feel like I've actually
(03:56):
blocked out already, but therewas quite a few.
And then they'd also found someon the left side, but without
biopsying they didn't know whatthose were.
Also found some on the leftside, but without biopsying they
didn't know what those were.
So all I knew at this point isthat I was 36, healthy, and I
now had cancer.
And when the report came in itsaid stage three HER2 positive
cancer.
I didn't know what that meant.
I just knew that stage four wasa terminal diagnosis, so stage
(04:21):
three is one under that, and Iwas completely shocked, blown
away.
I had no idea that would havebeen in me, because I didn't
feel anything.
I didn't feel any lumps, Ididn't feel sick, I didn't feel
anything at all.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah, and can you?
I've never heard of it beingcalled HER2.
So can you give this kind of alittle bit of backstory on what
that means?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, so there are different types of breast cancer
there's, I guess what peoplethink of most commonly is your
estrogen progesterone positive.
So that's caused by yourovaries, right?
Your hormones are a little outof whack.
Well, mine was ERPR, estrogenprogesterone receptive negative
and HER2 positive.
So it basically just means it'scoming from a different part of
(05:07):
your body.
I almost wanted it to come frommy hormones, because then at
least then I would know why ithappened, yeah, but it didn't.
It basically is just thereceptor.
There's a HER and I can'tremember the name of it right
now but the HER2 receptor inyour body and it just it wasn't
signaling properly and then itcreates more cancer cells.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, that's so crazy .
There's just so much differentkind of things out there
diseases that you're like whensomething like this happened.
I had cervical cancer when I was18, then 19, and then twice at
32.
And I didn't understand why andhow and like why was I so young
(05:49):
and so forth.
And when I find out it wasbecause I was sexually assaulted
at 16.
And he gave me the HPV strandthat caused cancer.
And because I didn't sayanything, because I kept quiet,
I never went to the doctor,never got checked and this
manifested into this cancer.
(06:10):
And my very first well womancheckup at 18, it was already
cancer and I was like what ishappening with life right now,
and so it's.
There's so many different things, so many different ways of
these, like diseases manifestingin your body, and you're like,
(06:31):
how could you even keep up?
So when you were in thatprocess of like, is this
genetics or this is justsomething that is just one off,
yeah, it happens.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
So I had a test on a whole bunch of genetic testing
just to see if I was a carrieror had that gene.
No, it was completely a one off.
So I've joked around for thelast year like I'm just blessed.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah, absolutely and honestly I wholeheartedly
believe in.
Sometimes, when you're goingthrough it, it's really hard to
see.
But I feel like life is alwayshappening for you and not to you
.
And until you survive yourworst day, you don't realize how
strong you are.
You don't realize why you weremaybe given this unfortunate
(07:24):
blessing in disguise.
Right, you found a friend fromit.
So give us an idea of how youand Ashley came to be.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Sure, yeah.
So my first month obviously awhirlwind.
I had refused to do treatmenthere, and here is Canada and I
just didn't want to.
I thought I was going to dothis, really naturally, and so I
ended up in Mexico, in Tijuana,doing treatment, and they are
renowned for their cancerclinics in Mexico, Well, in a
(07:54):
lot of South America and CentralAmerica.
And anyway, I ended up inMexico and I remember my first
week or two being there.
A guy from high school that Ihadn't talked to in almost 20
years had sent me a Facebookmessage and he said hey, my best
friend is like our age andshe's from here and she was just
diagnosed with cancer.
And I don't know what to do.
Should I set up a GoFundMe forher?
(08:15):
Should I like?
How do I help her kind of thing?
Where should I send her fortreatment?
And so I said let me talk toher.
I found out her name.
I saw that we had a ton ofmutual friends on Facebook and I
thought how the heck don't Iknow this girl?
I grew up in this town and thenI moved away and then I've been
back for six or seven years.
So I thought, how have I nevermet?
She was even friends with mybrother, so like I don't know oh
(08:37):
my gosh.
Yeah, I don't know how we hadn'tconnected.
So I reached out and she was solovely, she was so open to
having a stranger talk to her,probably because you feel so
alone and in such a dark placewhen you're first diagnosed that
it's like if somebody canrelate to your story at like
just even one person that meanseverything.
(08:59):
And so her and I had actuallyhad connected with another girl
from our town as well I thinkshe was about 40 or 41.
So not much older than us, alsofrom the same little town, and
she had just been diagnosedactually re-diagnosed with
cancer.
She had had it before.
And so the three of us wouldtalk independently, like her and
I or me and this other girl orthose two, and we just supported
(09:22):
each other through the wholething.
Now, unfortunately, that girlhad passed away in October and
so that really I think it lit afire under Ashley's and my vets,
because we realized like thisdisease is so powerful and it
actually takes people, likeevery time that this girl would
say I found this new treatment,I feel like I'm getting better
(09:44):
and the doctors are hopeful, andlike she would send me to go
see the same doctors or the samenaturopaths as her and we'd be
on a lot of the same medicationor supplements and things, and
so that really hit home for bothof us because all of a sudden
this girl that we would bounceideas off of and support was no
longer there, and so up untilpoint, so it would, it had been
(10:06):
from March until October thatAshley and I had connected, but
never in person, just because ofmy health, her health, we just
never got together.
And so when this friend passedaway, I picked her up to go to
the funeral and her and I bothjust sat there at the funeral
bawling and even though webarely even knew this girl, but
(10:26):
it just hit home so hard forboth of us so that really united
her and I together.
So since then that was justOctober we have really deepened
our friendship and grown in it,because we've both seen NED, so
no evidence of a disease in thistime.
Hers was, I think, aroundSeptember, august, september,
(10:49):
and then mine was in December.
So we've both kind ofexperienced this together and
we've been able to support eachother.
And, as I said, like no onereally understands what you're
going through, your friends cansupport you great and in mine
have been so wonderful but noone really understands unless
they've gone through this samesort of situation yeah, and the
emotional roller coaster that ittakes.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Sometimes you could just be like, okay, and then
just like you feel like theweight of the world on you and I
remember experiencing it at 18and 19 and I just like, wait, I
haven't lived.
And then, when I experienced itat 32, and I was a single mom
of three kids, I was like thisis a whole different ballgame.
(11:34):
Now I have kids.
What happens to me if I don'ttake care of myself?
Yeah, and it made it more oflike all right, I need to put my
oxygen mask on first.
As much as I love them, I'mnumber one priority because if.
I don't take care of me.
Exactly, I won't be here forthem, yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
And I talk about that a lot because she's a single
mom.
Her boy was three when she wassick and my girls were 10 and 12
when I got sick and like how doyou be there for them when
you're going through some stuff?
I went away for six weeks fortreatment and now I was away
from them and maybe this is likea TMI moment.
But my youngest daughter, shewas 10, she got her period the
(12:16):
day before I left and I wasn'tthere to be with her, like to
navigate.
Luckily she had her oldersister and her grandma was
around.
But I said to her I'm so sorrythat I'm leaving you alone to do
this.
And my kids understood becausethey were older, but like
Ashley's son, he was three, sohe doesn't understand.
She said even now he struggleswith it.
(12:38):
Mom, don't die, please don'tleave things like that as a now
four-year-old, leave things likethat as a now four-year-old.
So it's really hard to parentand you feel so much.
Shame, mom, shame mom guilt,whatever that is.
Because you haven't been there ahundred percent of the time for
them or you don't have theenergy to be there for them,
(12:58):
Even though, when you take astep back and look at it like
you've done the best that youabsolutely can.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Absolutely.
I, oh my gosh, I feel that somuch.
The year that happened, my kidsobviously didn't get the best
of me and I held my son back infifth grade where, like I, had
to sit down with the principaland explain listen, he struggled
(13:26):
this year and I wasn't there tobe able to help and guide him a
little bit better, pick up thepieces.
This is the situation and I'mforever grateful to that
principal.
He graduated just a few weeksago now and from high school and
(13:47):
it was the same principal hemoved from the elementary school
to the high school.
So I was just like you'veliterally been there for us in
so many different aspects.
I'm so thankful.
But then, at the same time, Ihad my oldest daughter, which
was in sixth grade at the timeand she was struggling and they
(14:07):
wouldn't allow her to be heldback and she struggled all the
way through high school andgraduated, but always graduated
like being like pushed ahead.
And.
I saw the difference in what theconfidence that it built in my
son versus the struggle that myoldest was going through and my
(14:28):
little one was stillkindergarten kind of thing.
But so she, she was fine.
And it's mind blowing what wehave to do to then understand
that we have to just take careof us, because at this point
everything has to pause andunfortunately life doesn't pause
but our roles sometimes have toand we have to allow others to
(14:53):
take it, come in and that feelswrong sometimes because we
handle so much.
But yeah, it's definitelysomething that unfortunately, we
still feel guilt around.
Oh yeah, and it should actuallybe celebrated.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Oh, yeah, I know there's so many events that I
missed my kids sporting eventsand things like that, whether
because I was in Mexico fortreatment or I was just sick
here because I did end up doingchemo here, and there was a lot
of events I missed.
And there was this one day atmy kid's soccer where they they
do their three, two, one go andthey were like three, two, one,
(15:32):
becky, and they sent me thevideo and I just like bawled my
eyes out and it was like Iwanted to be there so bad.
And even now, like this seasonfor everything, there are a lot
of days where I'm just too tiredto go, like I want to be there.
I feel like there's no reasonwhy I can't be there, but it's
like I'm so tired.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah, and I know it's hard to even think about.
But having grace with ourselvesis we are being the example for
our family.
So what we grant ourselves iswhat they are going to be able
to number one grant forthemselves and grant others.
(16:14):
And so sometimes we have to lookback and say you know what,
like they have the best exampleof having this problem and doing
whatever it took to get to thissolution or this progress and
and sometimes we don't see itthat way, especially when we're
(16:36):
in it and we're feeling all thefeelings and all the things are
like happening but the fact thatwe're able to be that example
for them because I know that mykids can handle anything,
because they were able to handlealready their worst day- yeah.
And so it's a great way oflooking at it, yeah yeah, and
(17:00):
prepares them right.
It prepares them for havingmore empathy, compassion, love
for others.
The way that we handle thingsis that literally their roadmap
to how to be a good person andcompassionate and so forth.
So I know sometimes it's sohard because we're in it, yeah,
(17:20):
and we're just exhausted, andbut it just it feels when you
look back, I think it's easierto see how that connects to
something so much more beautiful.
So what do you feel were thebiggest challenges through this
journey, other than theparenting stuff?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Well, at first the challenge was it just people's
opinions about what I should do,like I was very set on going a
holistic route, like no one wasgoing to change my mind.
And even my husband was like,no, you need to do chemo and
surgery and radiation becausethat's what you do.
And I was really strugglingwith that because I thought this
(18:06):
is my body and I get to do whatI want with it.
But the problem is like whenyou take a holistic route, it's
going to cost you some money andwe just didn't have it.
It's just to say all of asudden oh yeah, we need X amount
of thousands of dollars to goto treatment.
We didn't have it and, yeah, hestruggled with the idea of that
.
He didn't want us to go intodebt over this, when we live in
(18:28):
Canada and majority of mytreatment is free.
Yeah.
I just I didn't want that formyself.
And even getting my family onboard and even some friends like
they thought why, what are youdoing going to Mexico for
treatment?
You have what people considertop of the line treatment here
in Canada.
But I didn't want that for meand so I went to Mexico, I did
(18:50):
my thing and when I came back Istill needed more.
And I think that was probablythe biggest challenge was even
humbling myself enough to acceptthe help here, knowing that I
was going to lose my hair,knowing that I was going to lose
my boob.
Like that was very humbling.
And it took me a long time.
(19:11):
Like I didn't startconventional treatment here in
Canada until the end of June andI'd been diagnosed February 1st
.
So it had taken me a while toactually get on board.
And then the treatment startsand you're just so gassed from
it.
So there was a lot of challenges, for sure, through all of it,
but I really do believe that allof the holistic stuff that I
(19:33):
did leading up to it reallyprepared my body to handle it.
And I actually sailed throughchemo pretty well.
I felt like it was hard at thetime but looking back and
comparing it to other people'sjourneys with it, I think I
sailed through it.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Yeah, so what kind of treatment did you do
holistically?
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Oh my gosh, what didn't I do so when I went to
Mexico?
I well, funny enough, the firstday I get there, both of my
doctors down there say you needto do chemo, and I said no, I
don't need to do chemo, likethat's why I came here.
They convinced me that I wasgoing to do chemo and I did a
low dose.
It's called insulin potentiatedtherapy in Mexico.
(20:15):
So I didn't lose my hair, Ididn't feel sick, nothing like
that, and it actually workedvery well and all of the tumors
in the breast itself were gone,but the lymph nodes were still
left.
In that it's obviously the bigone.
But anyway, I did a bunch ofIVs there.
So glutathione, which is like amaster antioxidant in your body,
I was getting IVs of that.
(20:35):
Sodium bicarbonate, so like abaking soda, it's just to create
alkalinity in your body.
A multivitamin one obviously,vitamins are pretty
self-explanable.
What are the other ones now?
Calculation therapy, so that'sa heavy metal detox, okay.
And then DMSO that one is forinflammation in your body.
(20:55):
So your body will really likeit can't host cancer in an
alkaline body or a low inflamedbody.
Cancer loves inflammation andacidity.
So yeah.
And so I did that there.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
And so did you change your way of eating and yeah,
completely.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
As soon as I found out, I went raw vegan and I I
hated it, to be honest.
And it didn't last long becauseit just didn't sit well with my
body.
I'm a big believer in eatingfor your blood type and things
like that.
So I'm an O positive, which isa red meat eater, and so to go,
(21:35):
raw vegan, a lot of vegetables.
I was in a lot of pain and Ihad so much brain fog.
It just did not sit well with mybody.
But everything that I had beenreading about breast cancer said
that meat is very inflammatoryfor you and yeah, I think that
there's.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I feel like there needs to be further research.
Research, if you will because Ifeel like the where it's coming
from is important.
How they raise their cows,whatever is important, that, I
think, is super.
What I've learned right in myyears of.
(22:12):
It's been eight and a half yearssince I've well now nine years
since I had cancer last, and Ifeel like that it is all
relative, to like it's justchanging.
I had to change my lifestylecompletely.
I never ate vegetables.
I'm Hispanic and apparently wedon't believe in at least Puerto
(22:37):
Ricans don't believe in havingvegetables in their diet,
because I grew up not doing it.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
A lot of carbs, a lot of meat.
A lot of carbs, a lot of fried.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
A lot of fried and so if we think of, and then a lot
of sweets too.
So like sugar, like how sugarinflames your body and how like
there's just so many things thatI had to flip in my own health
and then, like moving my body, Iwasn't working out.
That helps with the depressionthat I was dealing with and with
(23:10):
just getting my body healthydrinking water.
Oh my gosh, what a concepttrying.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
I it's so hard.
Yeah, I should all take a sipright now right, let's take a
water break I never drink waterand every time I go for any sort
of treatment they're like whereare your veins?
Speaker 1 (23:30):
I'm like I don't know I drink about a gallon a day.
I just know that I need to fillthis four times.
Okay, that's a lot, it's pretty.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
It's so pretty.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
And I, and it's good when you have a straw, because
if you think about it like whenyou're like trying to chug up
water, it's so much more workthan just opening and sipping
Right.
So I found I figured out whatwould work for me, and those
things were like I have a prettywater bottle it's my friends
(24:06):
call it my emotional supportwater bottle.
I carry it around everywhereand because that is the only
thing that I drink, that andlike my pre-workout, which is
all natural as well.
So I found things that I neededto figure out in my nutrition
and my daily habits and that wasthe catalyst.
(24:28):
The biggest thing was themindset.
The mindset was everything,because I felt like if I wasn't
listening to some type ofpersonal growth or inspirational
things, the negative thoughtsjust took over.
(24:48):
Go to the dark place, oh my gosh, that dark place is so hard to
get out of when you haveeverything else coming at you.
So I started my days withlistening to 10 minutes of some
type of personal growth, and soit just became those little
habits of a full lifestylechange that shifted everything
(25:10):
around and I was just like, ohand once I went in.
So I had my first surgery in2015, in June, and then I was
supposed to go four months laterto get checked.
And I did and the follow up,the cancer had come back.
And so, october, I was like Ihad started my health journey at
(25:34):
the end of August.
So I had been like a month and ahalf in and I felt like the
weight of the world and my I wasin an accountability group and
I told my accountability partnerI was like I'm tapping out, I'm
done, I can't, this is too much, I can't handle all of it all
at the same time.
She's like you are not stopping.
(25:55):
You are making so much progress, you are not stopping.
And they made sure that Istayed accountable to my journey
right, and when I went, Idecided that I was going to get
a full hysterectomy.
I was 32 years old, with adaughter that had just been
diagnosed bipolar, and it likelife was chaos and I was like
(26:16):
how am I going to go throughmenopause with?
because they weren't going to beable to save my ovaries either?
How am I going to go throughmenopause dealing with the
things that I'm dealing with,like how is this even going to
be possible?
But I was like you know what,I'm just gonna just allow life
to happen and I'll figure it out.
And I went in December 9th formy hysterectomy and he was going
(26:42):
to try to save one of myovaries the other one I didn't
have already, but that had ahuge cyst in it and he was like
I'm going to end up having tocome back and take it out, so
I'm just taking everything outnow.
And I was like, okay, we dowhat we have to do whatever A
week later out now.
And I was like, okay, we dowhat we have to do, whatever.
A week later it was actually my33rd birthday and the day that I
(27:03):
had to go for my follow-up formy pathology, and the doctor's
like there's no signs of cancer.
I was like what?
I was in shock.
I was like and I don't know ifyou can relate to this, but I
was like why did I have to havethis damn surgery?
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Yeah, if there was no cancer in there.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
If there was no cancer in there.
But then at the same time I wasso grateful and so like, okay,
well, I don't have to worryabout this cancer again.
So it was just like all thesemixed emotions, Like bittersweet
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
yeah, I felt the same way when I had the mastectomy,
because when they did thepathology on that, it had shown
that everything had reversed,like you could see in the lymph
nodes and everything that cancerhad been there and now it had
gone back to normal, which theysaid would probably well, they
hoped would happen with the typeof treatment that I was on.
And then I was like, well, frig, why, why did I lose an entire
(28:01):
boob?
Then, yeah, seriously, justgone in there and taken a biopsy
or something.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
but yeah, I know, and it is that bittersweet and I
feel like sometimes you justhave to just trust that things
are working out the way theyneed to.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Yeah, there's a process that you have to trust,
and it took me a long time totrust it because I was so anti
everything I wouldn't even takea Tylenol unless I felt like I
was dying before this and thenall of a sudden having to take
all these medications andtrusting my doctor's plans and
stuff, it was, like I saidbefore, very humbling experience
(28:37):
for me.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, and I think it makes us grow as humans just
opens our eyes to there's justso much more that can happen.
My dad, he passed away inOctober of 2022 from cancer, but
he was very anti any medication, any treatment at all.
He was diagnosed first in 2020.
(28:58):
And I was like Dad.
I understand that you thinkthat grandma and my uncle, his
brother, what killed him was thetreatment, but that was also
like 20 plus years ago.
Things have changed and there'sdifferent treatments and I'm
(29:19):
not telling you to go do it.
I'm just telling you go seesomebody and make the informed
decision.
And he was like nope, nope,nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
So they did surgery.
He had bladder cancer, so theyremoved his bladder.
He had a little baggie for theurine, so this was a whole new
living, everything.
(29:41):
He had never been in a hospitaluntil he was 72 years old,
which was a blessing and then, ayear later, we find out that it
had spread and so he ended uphaving another surgery and he
felt like the neuropathy issues.
(30:03):
He felt the pain in his feetand it.
I am guessing that it, the, thetumors were sitting on a nerve,
but because he just couldn'texplain the, the pain in his
feet, so we had him get like afull scan head to toe and that
was something that like he waslike I just need this pain to go
(30:26):
away.
And when he finally talked tothe oncologist, it was like she
took the time to explaineverything to him and made him
feel like he was in charge ofhis treatment.
She was just the facilitator.
And I was just like I went toevery single one of his
(30:48):
appointments.
I was there like asking all thequestions and taking all the
notes and he just it was thecraziest thing and I get like
all emotional just thinkingabout it.
But I remember him going fromlike I'm just going to go see
this person but I'm not doingany treatment to I'll do
(31:08):
whatever you think is right.
And I looked at my mom and Iwas like did he just said what?
I think he said Like are wescheduling this?
It was the craziest thing hegot.
He started chemotherapy andthis man completely was like
(31:29):
10,000 percent better and he hadenergy and he didn't really
lose his hair and like the painin his feet stopped.
like almost immediately Like itwas insane, and I was just like,
wow, dad, like this is crazy.
(31:49):
And so he went through histreatments and he did.
I want to say it was like sixto nine months of treatments I
don't remember off the top of myhead, starting in 2021.
And then when he got intoimmunotherapy it reversed
everything.
Like yeah, which is where youthink immunotherapy helps your
(32:12):
immune system fight all this off.
No, it did completely theopposite for him, and so we
weren't able to get him back onchemo like quick enough for them
to do anything.
So he did pass away in October.
Thank you, October 2022.
But one of the things that Isaid to him and again, I was
(32:33):
there, I'm so blessed that I wasthere throughout this whole
time us, that I was therethroughout this whole time.
One of the things that I saidto him was like I'm so happy
that you are leaving this worldknowing that the treatment
wasn't what killed you andknowing that, like you did get
(32:53):
better from treatment and likeyou completely shifted your
whole mindset around what thingscould help you.
And so it's so funny how, likewe are so set on like nope, this
is not for me, and thenperspectives change and it's
(33:15):
okay for that.
It is humbling, it's okay forthat to humble you in some ways
that you're just like again forme, the same.
I feel like that surgery I wasjust like, so like I took about
a week to get back to the doctorand say, all right, let's do
this, Because I was just like isthis even worth it?
Like, is menopause at 32, 33years old going to be worth like
(33:41):
.
There's just so much moreissues that can come from that,
and so it.
I'm experiencing them now LikeI'm like drenched in sweat, hot
flashes.
It is worth it.
I've gotten so many more yearsof health from it, so so funny
(34:03):
how all that works.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
I understand that because my chemo also put me
into menopause or I don't knowif it's full-blown.
The the hot flashes havestopped through chemo.
They were the absolute worst,like I would get them in the
most inconvenient places, likeon an airplane or in the middle
of a wedding, or, and I would belike I need to get out of here
immediately and I would just sitthere like this.
(34:25):
I want to rip my wig off, Iwanted to just get naked.
Yeah, those stopped after chemostopped and they haven't come
back.
But I know that there are othersigns for sure my body's going
through it?
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I definitely, yeah, it's.
I've learned a lot I've.
I don't know if you've heard ofor seen her on social media,
but there's a doctor that hadjust put out a new book called
the new menopause.
It's dr marie claire haver.
Mind blown, I feel so seen andheard.
There was a study from fromyears ago that just made hormone
(35:04):
replacement therapy a like, adon't do like.
Your chances of cancer go upand so forth.
And I that's what I was awareof.
And so when I had that, thedoctor's like, well, are we
going to put you on hormonereplacement therapy?
And I was like I don't needmore cancer in my life.
(35:24):
No and so for eight and a halfyears, I'm sitting here like no
hormone replacement therapy andI could have lived a much better
life.
It is very eye-opening.
I'm very happy that there's somuch more information now, but I
would urge you to probably likelisten or look for her on
(35:48):
social media.
Everything she puts out is sogood and I'm just like gosh,
this is such great informationfor anybody any woman, any man
like that or is going to dealwith either a spouse, a parent,
a child with any hormone issueslike it gives you so much
(36:09):
information because this wasn'ttalked about in it.
We weren't taught this, so it'syeah, I heard.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
I am definitely interested in that, like I have
been also told, because I hadbreast cancer.
Though it was hormone negative,the chances of getting a
hormone breast cancer is veryhigh.
So they say don't take anythingwith hormones in it.
So I'm very cautious.
And same with Ashley, becausewe haven't talked about it.
But she had neuroendocrinecancer and hers is a hormone
(36:38):
cancer so she's also not allowedto be on anything hormone
related.
So we always joke on our showshe's.
She cries all the time andshe's like I can't do anything
about it.
My hormones are out, yeah, soit'd be cool even just to learn
some things that you can dowithout necessarily taking
(36:58):
hormone replacement therapy oreating whatever Like it would be
cool to learn.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
So she has.
She has like a toolkit at theend of the book that tells you
this is the symptom, these arethe, this is the like
nutritional route, this is themedical route, this is whatever.
It is so good.
I'm like, oh my gosh, I'meating all of this information,
I'm getting that book.
(37:22):
That sounds so good, so good.
Yeah, it's definitely opened myeyes.
So can you give us maybe alittle bit of background on
Ashley and because I'm imaginingthat you know her story pretty
well- yeah for sure.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
So yeah, she was diagnosed last year.
She just was having thesestomach pains and she didn't
know what it was.
And she ended up at thehospital and they had said your
appendix had burst.
And so she thought, okay,that's great, because that's
what the pain is.
Right, who would ever thinklike, no, it's actually, it's
cancer?
But yeah, so she had theappendix removed.
(37:57):
They send it off for pathology.
I guess anytime a piece of youcomes out, they send it for that
, which is smart.
And so they called her back.
I think it took a few weeks.
They called her back and saidit's actually cancer and because
her appendix had burst, withthe cancer inside, it just shot
it everywhere.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
So they had to go back in.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
Yeah, they had to go back in within the month and do
a very invasive surgery.
I think she lost 30 lymph nodes, a good chunk of her colon, one
of her ovaries and fallopiantubes.
30 lymph nodes, a good chunk ofher colon, one of her ovaries
and fallopian tubes, theperitoneum tissue that like
surrounds your organs.
They took a bunch of that andthey were in there scraping.
They had to really cleaneverything out.
(38:40):
So she lost a ton in thatsurgery.
And then it, because of how muchdamage they did in there, it
caused a major bowel obstructionin two spots.
So all of the scar tissue wascreating, yeah, bowel
obstruction.
And normally with a bowelobstruction they say like it can
clear itself for as long as youstart going to the bathroom.
(39:01):
But it wasn't like that for herbecause it wasn't necessarily a
backup, it was scar tissuepushing on it.
So she had to go in for anothersurgery and get that cleaned up
.
And yeah, and the reason she'snot here today is because she
was back in the hospitalyesterday.
They think the bowelobstruction is back.
So when the past year, if shehas to do another surgery,
that'll be four surgeries andtwo colonoscopies.
(39:24):
So she's been on a lot of meds alot of time in bed and that's
where we say a lot of that momguilt comes from, because she
has to spend a lot of time andshe has a three, four year old
they need a lot of attention.
My girls are happy to just godo their thing right.
They're teenagers, they're 1311.
Now they don't care about whatmom wants to do, but a four year
old wants to be with mom allthe time.
(39:47):
Yeah, she have a support systemshe lives with her mom and her
sister and I know that they areamazing help for her, for sure.
I think she actually has acouple sisters.
I am not entirely sure what theliving situation is for them,
but yeah, she definitely has themom and her sister close by.
(40:07):
Yeah, you can't do it alone.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
You really it is it, it, it really does take a
village at that point, like,especially as a single mom, that
you don't necessarily have the,that spouse or that partner to
pick up the pieces.
It literally takes a villageand it's like, can you pick them
up from school or whatever?
And it, it's, yeah, so it'simportant to have a community.
(40:31):
Yeah, experiencing that.
Do you know if she's everconsidered something like reiki
or like an energy healing kindof thing.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
I'm not sure.
She definitely does counseling.
She sees a lot of counselors.
She goes for acupuncture andphysio and chiro and things like
that.
I don't know about energy, yeah, ever really come up.
I'm going to guess probably not.
Yeah, but I will say one thingtoo about the type of cancer
that Ashley had slash has isthat there's no cure for it at
(41:07):
all.
It's one of those ones where youjust cut it out and then when
it comes back you cut it outagain and they told her it's not
if it comes back, it's when itcomes back.
And then they said when itcomes back and hits a major
organ, she has between sixmonths and 15 years to live.
It's like the weirdestprognosis.
So her doctors never gave her alot of hope at all.
(41:28):
So for her she really changedher lifestyle and everything.
She is on so many supplementsand herbal medications and she
had to do all that research onher own or through naturopaths
or whatever, just because forher she feels like there's not a
lot of hope for what she has.
So she's doing everything thatshe can to keep her body
(41:50):
alkaline and low inflammationand just healthy.
She doesn't eat any refinedsugar.
She doesn't drink, or maybe theodd time we we all have the odd
drink time, but not like, butnot in a normal thing.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Yeah, yeah, have a look into it.
So I've done Reiki before from.
I've had Reiki done to me and itcleared out a lot of stuck
energy if you will, and so Iwent and I like did my Reiki
certification, like for one andtwo or something.
(42:24):
There's like three levels, andso the reason that I bring it up
is because I'm literally likereading a book called the
Foundation of Reiki and I'm inthat part where it says the
things that it could help with,and so you never know what kind
of energy is stuck in her bodythat may just need to be cleared
.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Well, one thing that we've really learned in this
journey is that trauma, whetherresolved or unresolved, it's, it
finds a spot in your body andit becomes a physiological part
of your body.
It's not just trauma is mental,and then it's gone when you're
not thinking about it anymore.
No, it finds itself in there.
And so when I said before I wasjust blessed, I'm not a genetic
(43:08):
cancer or not a hormonal cancer, it's like I I'm going to guess
that it was probably a lot ofrepressed trauma.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Yeah, and I just which was mine oh, I feel you,
that was mine was the sexualassault at 16.
I stayed quiet for three yearsand, since I could remember, I
remember not being able to gofor like a full body massage.
When I did, I would say justdon't touch my lower back, like
(43:35):
my lower back to like my middleof my glute, don't touch because
it hurts to the touch.
And so I always like dealt withback pain and I didn't know
what I was getting.
My friend, she was one of myclients.
I used to be in the hotelindustry and she was one of my
clients and she worked for thishotel that was like a spa hotel,
(43:57):
right, and so everything wascentered around their spa and
there was this healing energymassage and I had no idea what
it was.
And she's like, oh my God, Itried this thing, I'm going to
get it for you because I thinkthat you would love it.
And I was like okay, so I go inwithout any like thought of
anything.
And she, I tell her I'm justlike just be careful with my
(44:20):
lower back.
And so she lays me down and Ididn't know like there's like
sound bowls and all.
It's like very pretty airy andwhatever, and I'm based down and
I feel her kind of likehovering over my body and then
she was like, oh yeah, I feelall of this sexual trauma right
here in my right side of mylower back and it was like she
(44:47):
hit the nerve or whatever thatwas holding all of that and I
cried for an hour, that wholesession.
I just I cried and cried andcried and cried and she's like
just keep letting it out.
So later, years later, I come tofind out that's Reiki.
I had no idea what it was.
It was like this hangover.
(45:08):
When I got off of the table Iwas just like like this
emotional hangover, yeah.
And so years later I find outthat the energy healing is Reiki
.
And then this is what it doesand I was just like, wow, that's
so crazy.
And since then I haven't hadany issues with my back at all.
So the fact that, like, yeah, Iwholeheartedly believe in this,
(45:33):
and when you're ready to learn,the teacher appears.
I had this mentor that said,when your body is in dis ease,
it creates disease.
And that's exactly what it islike.
It's our traumas create thisdis ease in our body.
So then, yeah, it makes sense,like, I'm finding.
Speaker 3 (45:53):
Well, I was very notorious I still am, but I'm
notorious for pushing everythingdown.
I'm tough, I don't want to showemotion, I don't want to show
my kids emotion, I don't want todeal with the stuff that I've
gone through.
So I push it and, even throughtreatment, push, push, push,
push, push.
And so now that I'm in the sortof end stages here of
everything and I see physiononstop I even started doing
(46:17):
pelvic floor physio and I dochiropractor and massage and
acupuncture and I'm finding allof those things together are
really finding trauma spots andthey're coming out.
Because I've been so emotional,like even last night for no
reason I started this huge fightwith my husband.
But why Like I don't?
I think because today, rightafter this, is my very last
(46:41):
treatment for cancer and I'mreally excited about it.
But it's also very emotionaland it's just like, instead of
dealing with whatever it is thatI'm feeling, I'm like let's
pick a fight with somebody.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that, as you are more
aware of it, I feel like thatwill allow you to just be more
in touch and be like all right,well, let me back it up, honey.
So I'm sorry that thisexpressed itself this way.
(47:16):
This is what I'm truly feeling.
It doesn't happen like from onemoment to the next, but the
fact that, little by little, youare allowing those things to be
released, it is going to changeeverything.
It's important, it's emotionalregulation, right?
So what we don't teach our kidslike we were talking earlier,
(47:38):
what we don't teach our kids,they won't be able to do so,
like if we want them to be ableto emotionally regulate, we got
to show them.
I'm sad right now and I'mfeeling sad.
However, I'm sorry that I blewup at you.
That wasn't my intention.
My intention wasn't that I haveteenagers and 20 year olds, so
(48:01):
like it's been a huge learninglesson for me because I before I
didn't want to show my kidsemotion.
I went through a divorce and Iwas like I would get them to bed
and then I would go in myshower and cry in there, and
that wasn't necessarily the bestway, because then they didn't
know how to process all theemotions that were happening
(48:24):
with them, and it has just beensuch a journey.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
My goodness, I get that I'm also divorced from my
kid's dad.
And, yeah, it was very nastymarriage and it was a very nasty
divorce and I tried really hardto protect my kids from seeing
that they saw the odd thing, butI really did protect it.
And so it got to the pointwhere I was just packing it all
(48:50):
in.
I was holding on to so much and, you know, when my kids were
getting a bit older and theywere saying things like Mom,
you're the reason that you anddad are divorced, or you are
this and you're, and I'm justlike you're, yeah, you're right,
you know, just holdingeverything in.
And and then it got to the pointlike I feel like when I was
married before I was a littlenuts, like I was young and I
(49:12):
guess I don't know hormonalyoung babies, I was a little
crazy.
And then when I started datingmy now husband, I wanted to be
so opposite of that, like I'mjust so chill to the point where
I am so nonchalant abouteverything that it's like there
needs to be a happy medium whereI'm feeling things and I'm
(49:33):
expressing things, where I setboundaries for myself and I'm
not just letting people walk allover me.
So I haven't quite found thatyet, but definitely through this
journey I'm learning that, yeah, I'm really important to me and
I need to take care of that notjust physically, but
emotionally yes, those arebeautiful lessons.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
Actually, I'm just floored by this.
So then, how?
Really quick, because Iobviously want to get to this.
How did you then come to theidea of a podcast with Ashley I?
Speaker 3 (50:03):
just randomly put it out there one day, like months
and months ago, and she's like,yeah, that'd be cool.
And like we're notorious forlike yeah's get together and
then we never do, or like let'sdo this, we never do.
So finally one day I'm like, doyou want to start a podcast?
Like just more recently, she'slike, I love that idea.
I'm like, okay, come over,let's just do it.
And so she came over and weborrowed a friend of mine and
(50:32):
we're like let's just do it.
And so that's how it started.
And we're like, what are we totalk about?
And we get on that camera andit's like because there's so
much stuff just packed in therethat needs to come out.
And our podcast is called twogirls with cancer.
Not everything is going to beabout cancer, it's just more
like what we're going through.
And for me, I love research, Ilove science based things, but
(50:54):
we've barely even gotten toanything like that on the
podcast.
Because, like there's so muchemotional stuff going on for
both of us and it's like sohealing to get it out there and
to be able to talk about it andto know you're not alone and
yeah, just yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
I sort of community love that so much because it
isn't necessarily about thecancer part of it.
It's just about like those, youtwo girls that are dealing with
this, and what does that entail?
In overall, I love that so muchand I do think that's very
healing.
It's very therapeutic to beable to talk about it,
(51:31):
especially with somebody thatunderstands.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
I also think it gives perspective to people who knew
us but saw the repressed put ona happy face version of us, even
our closest people, who saw uson our worst days, who still
didn't quite understand, likethe impact of what they're going
through or like, yeah, whenwe're being vulnerable on our
podcast talking about the momguilt or whatever.
(51:57):
I think people didn't know thatrealize people didn't realize
what we're going through and,like I said before, I flew
through chemo and so you wouldnever know that I was sick and
same with Ashley because shenever did chemo radiation she
still looks the same.
So a lot of people neverunderstood like the severity of
stage three and stage fourcancers, even stage one cancers,
(52:18):
like really like the severityof anything that you're going
through.
People just didn't reallyunderstand because they just saw
the same happy version or thesame done up version that they
always saw.
Speaker 1 (52:30):
Yeah, I agree, I'd never did chemo or anything like
that, because mine was kind oflike Ashley's, like you.
Just it came and then you cutit out, and then it came again
and cut it off again, and so itwas just like the four times
that I got it it was that, anduntil they were like all right,
(52:50):
well, you've had your kids, nowlet's take everything out, and I
was like I don't know if I'mready for that.
I know I'm not sure if that'swhat I want, but I guess that is
what it's going to be and I seeit as a blessing now, even
though I'm feeling therepercussions of it.
Still, I'm still here.
(53:12):
So that's, that is a blessingin itself, right?
Speaker 3 (53:15):
Absolutely it is.
We've been through harder stuff.
Speaker 1 (53:18):
I know it's so good, so I just want to say like,
thank you.
Is there anything else that youfeel like want anybody to hear,
or something that comes to yourheart before we wrap up?
Speaker 3 (53:31):
Ash and I say this on every show like you need to
advocate for yourself because noone else is going to Like.
If your doctor tells you you'retoo young or it's not this, or
you don't need a mammogram, oryou don't need a breast exam,
just push for it.
If you feel a certain way, pushfor it, because it's better to
be safe than sorry.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
I absolutely agree, a hundred percent.
Thank you so, so, very much.
This was amazing, becky.
Give my love to Ashley.
Hopefully one day we will beable to reconnect and and yeah,
I think that this was amazing.
Thank you for yourvulnerability and for just
allowing the space for ourlisteners to get in a little bit
(54:12):
of what you've gone through.
So I appreciate it, thank youfor having me.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
I loved being able to share with you.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
Excellent.
So listeners for you.
Thank you so much for joiningus today.
I hope you got so much out ofthis.
I appreciate the fact that Icould keep this going because
I've met so many amazingindividuals like Becky, and I
just feel like I'm sharing thesepeople with you guys and it's
(54:40):
just the coolest thing ever.
So thank you for listening.
I will put their informationfor their podcasts and
everything on the show notes, soI hope you have an amazing rest
of your day.
Peace out, guys.
Love your life.
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