September 13, 2024 • 41 mins
Can setting boundaries really transform your life? In this episode of Against All Odds the Less Than 1% Chance podcast, join me, Maria Aponte, as I sit down with the incredible Shannon Sellers—a business owner and coach with over three decades of experience empowering women. Shannon’s journey from hairdresser to motivational coach is nothing short of awe-inspiring. We talk about her natural talent for uplifting others, her transition from informal therapy during hair appointments to a structured coaching business during the COVID-19 pandemic, and her unique methods like vision boards for accountability. Plus, hear how Shannon balanced her thriving career while being a devoted single mother.
Shannon shares her personal stories of loss, resilience, and the extraordinary strength it takes to support loved ones while managing personal grief. By expressing gratitude and finding blessings even in the toughest situations, Shannon shows us the true essence of resilience.
What does it mean to truly love oneself? In our conversation, we explore the transformative power of perspective, emphasizing that life happens for us, not to us. With insights inspired by mentors like Tony Robbins and Bob Proctor, Maria and Shannon talk about how unresolved emotional trauma can manifest as physical illness and the crucial importance of forgiveness and empathy in the healing process. Through her own battles, Shannon underscores the power of self-love and maintaining a positive outlook. Finally, we celebrate the joy of meaningful connections and the extraordinary value they bring to our lives, fostering a community of positivity and inspiration. Don't miss this heartfelt episode—tune in and feel empowered to love your life.
Find Shannon:
Website: https://www.showingmyroots.com
Instagram: @Showingmyroots
Linkedin: Shannon Sellers
Facebook: Showing My Roots
YouTube: Showing My Roots by Shannon Sellers
Apps Mentions:
Growth Day
ThinkUp
GrowthDay app offers tools, content, coaching, and community for self-improvement and success.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Less Than
1% Chance podcast with your host, maria Aponte, where we will
hear stories of incrediblepeople thriving against all odds
, and my hope is that we can allsee how life is always
happening for us, even when weare the Less Than 1% Chance.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey, hey, welcome back to, against All Odds, the
Less Than 1% Chance Podcast withyour host, maria Aponte.
I hope you are doing fantastictoday.
We are in for a treat today.
Our guest is Shannon Sellers.
She empowers women to love andbelieve in themselves.
She's a business owner, a coach, a motivator, who knows that
(00:42):
our problems don't define us.
She believes that everyone iscapable of extraordinary things
and it's her mission to helpothers get there.
You are never too old to starta new journey in your life.
And she encourages women to getrooted and set their vision for
a life that they want anddesire.
Start by turning your pain intopower, and that is what she
(01:05):
feels so passionate about, and Iam so excited for you to hear
her story.
Hello, shannon, welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Thank you.
Thank you for having me ohabsolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I feel like we share a lot of the same beliefs and I
love that.
Like attracts, like that.
It's empowering to be able tosay, oh, I'm not alone in this
mindset of let's just get betterand understand that, against
all odds, we're so powerful.
So give us a little bit ofbackground about because your
(01:37):
story from what I heard, you'vebeen doing something for 32
years that you were not beingpaid for 32 years that you were
not being paid for.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yes, I, by trade, was a hairdresser now going on 32
years but I always had theability to make people feel good
on the outside, and in theprocess of doing that, I
realized that it was as muchtherapy and coaching as it was
my ability.
So I decided that I was going toseparate the two and get paid
separate and have a little moreof a quiet session.
(02:06):
I love it and it fuels me.
I love to see the light go frompeople's eyes.
I've had people smiling, cryingfor the good, the bad realizing
and it is just a God givenability that everybody does not
have.
Yeah, I agree, and took it witha coat of armor and excited
about it yeah, that's amazing, Iagree.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I feel like my hairdresser knows more about me
than most yeah, people, andshe's my aunt, so she's known me
for my entire life and it'sfunny because I feel like we
trust our hairdressers more thanmost people.
Like I can sit down and she'slike what do you want?
I was like whatever you like,as long as it's purple.
(02:49):
There you go as long as it'spurple Exactly as long as it's
purple, do whatever you'd like.
So she's had fun with my hairmy entire life.
It's so funny.
She is definitely my therapistin some cases.
So I see where you cancorrelate the two and where I
think that it's so powerful thatyou were like wait a second,
(03:14):
this is something that I coulddo, that I have a gift for.
And you're right, it doesn't.
It's not something thateveryone has.
So that is amazing that you didthat.
So how have you been able toseparate everything and then
come full circle and whereyou're at?
Speaker 3 (03:30):
now.
Well, for me, being behind thechair, from being with your aunt
, you've only have a certainamount of time and you can chit,
chat and talk, but you can'treally get into the meat and
potatoes of everything all thetime.
So for me, I have an office setup in my home.
You see how bright and prettyand colorful it is.
So when COVID hit, it changedthe whole thing, where everybody
thought they had to be inperson all the time.
(03:52):
So it allows me to have someone-on-ones I can.
I've done some classes, I'vedone some events.
I believe in doing visionboards and creating a vision,
because we talk about and givelip service all the time, but if
you don't write it down or putit into action, you don't have
that accountability.
Yeah, so it has given me theopportunity to step away and
(04:14):
even though I love my job beingyou know I'm fixing to knock out
52 and I am rocking it I willtell you two need replacements
later I realized that I wantedto create some income that did
not put me required to standbehind that chair all day even
though I love it.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
You can't put all your eggs in one basket,
absolutely and what?
You never know what happens.
My aunt she can't always blowdry my hair because her hands
have all kinds of differentissues, and so, yeah, I
definitely agree that this willgive you this longevity, that
the actual physical work thatyou do won't stand up to what
(04:53):
the body's like.
I need a break now.
Let's step back a little bit.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Look, I'm out there at 4 30 in the morning doing
hair.
Yeah oh my gosh.
I, when I had kids like you, Ididn't want to be away from in
the afternoons and evenings, soI told people they could come
before they went to work.
They couldn't tell me it wasmessing up anything but their
sleep schedule.
And I wasn't sitting there allthe evenings because I was not
going to miss things with mykids, because I had been a
(05:19):
single parent for 12 years now.
Yeah, my boys are not babiesanymore.
But they're always my babies.
But, you know, I set myboundaries of what I was willing
to give up and not, and, beingthe best mom, I was not willing
to give that up.
So I rearranged and made ithappen.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
That's amazing.
I love that.
Yeah, and you were talkingabout vision boards.
I look up because I have myvision board for 2024 up there
and even just this podcast.
So I'm launching.
This will be season two of thepodcast, and last year I had no
idea that it was May 2023 that Iwent to a mindset conference
(06:02):
and my mindset coach gave us atask, an action.
That was a scary action to doand I had it on my heart for
years that I wanted to do apodcast but never took action on
it and I like never made it apriority and I was like I have a
story to tell.
I know that this is somethingthat needs to happen.
(06:24):
And he was like you need totake one big scary action on
this, on whatever goal you have.
He told the room and I was likeI'm gonna go ahead and start
that podcast and so that waslike my big scary thing was I'm
going to sign up for theplatform and I'm already paying
for it because I didn't get thefree version.
(06:45):
So it's going to happen.
And that was like middle of Mayand by the end of May I created
the artwork.
It was like this yes, it wasjust amazing Like I got all
these things done and I had noclue what I was doing.
I was like just Googling hey,how do I create an intro and an
(07:07):
outro to the podcast?
It was just like this, like allof this adrenaline from this
one action season or first yearof it it was solo episodes with
(07:29):
stories that I had myself andthen friends that I knew had
really against all odd momentsin their life and all kinds of
different topics.
And so when I found thisFacebook page, I had recorded an
episode, but I was going tolaunch it that one week and I
was like you know what?
No, I'm going to hold off.
This is going to be thebeginner of season two.
(07:51):
Had no plan on how I was goingto continue and this like fell
into place.
But where I'm getting with thisis on my vision board up here
it says number one podcastagainst all odds.
Board up here, it says numberone podcast against all odds.
(08:14):
And so all of a sudden, in likethe last two weeks, I've
recorded like 20 episodes, yay.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, thisis awesome the way like things
fall into place, but when youhave it in front of you that you
look like I literally sit downon my desk.
I look up and there's like allof my things that I want to do
and that must I get ready?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
I sit at a vanity in the morning and when I look one
of my big things is my why is onthe board.
And when I do the class, I tellpeople to bring pictures of
their why.
And do you know how many peoplenever bring a picture of their
self?
And I said you got to want itfor you as much as anybody else.
You've got to give yourselfsome love and some attention,
(08:54):
and so I'll ask them to do that.
I asked him to write a threeand six month letter to their
self.
But, there is something justlike when he asked you to do
that, you had talked about it,but when you verbally committed
or wrote it down, it was like,oh my God.
Like if you're probablycompetitive like me to a degree
and I hate to lose, I might noteven want the prize, but I'm
(09:17):
willing to go, or even if I giveit to somebody else, I'll do
anything for a T-shirt, yeah, sowith that it was like, ok, and
so I'll get him to do that.
I was like you can sell it andgive it to me or you can put it
on your board and read it foryourself, but the accountability
, I think, was the big thing.
So I love that.
But kudos to you, good job itmade you know that you're doing
(09:39):
what you're called to do?
Speaker 2 (09:40):
yeah, it definitely.
I listen to an app everymorning, so I have like a ritual
.
So I get up, try to, before Iget out of bed, think of at
least one thing that I amgrateful for.
But I put on my headphones andI listened to an app by Brendan
Burchard.
It's called Growth Day and so Ilistened to what he calls a
(10:10):
daily fire.
So every morning he does adaily inspirational,
motivational, in your faceframework of something and to
start your day, and he has ajournal attached.
It's so good, so I start thatevery morning.
And then, after that is done,as I'm like brushing my teeth
and doing my face creams and allthat stuff, I listened to this
(10:34):
app called Think Up, and in theThink Up app you can record
yourself saying affirmations ormaybe recording your own vision
or whatever, and so it has musicthat goes behind it and you can
listen to yourself.
Oh, that's cool.
It is the coolest thing,because when you, like, I used
(10:57):
to listen to a YouTube video orwhatever of like affirmations or
whatever, but it was somebodyelse's voice.
Yeah, and this is my voice.
That is like talking to myselfand it's like a more
subconscious thing, like it getsin there and had a goal of
(11:18):
speaking on stages.
So those things, little bylittle, have come to fruition
and it's just the coolest thing.
(11:38):
And today, actually, I waslistening to a podcast with the
super trainer, sean T.
He's with Beachbody used to beBeachbody, now his body and he
is responsible for transformingso many people's lives,
including myself.
I started his program andthat's what changed my
trajectory completely.
And he talks about visionboards and sometimes on vision
(12:02):
boards people put pictures ofother people on there and that
doesn't feel right.
It should be a picture of whenyou felt your best, yes, and I
was like, well, that's, I didn'teven think of that, but I had a
picture of when I felt my bestand I have it up there and it's.
(12:25):
And when I'm listening to him,as I'm like getting putting my
makeup on and whatever, and Ilook up and I'm like, look at
that, I did what he said evenbefore I even knew about it was
just it's.
I love the power of visionboards.
I just truly believe that, likewhen you see it, when you write
it, when you feel it justelevates that vibration in your
(12:48):
body to attract that and justlove it so much.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Well, I love the fact that, when you were talking
about doing the app for yourself, that you realize that your
voice matters and that you wereable to get it from inside out,
and I do think sometimes, whenyou actually verbalize it
outward, it makes you moreresponsible for it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Make it happen, so I love that.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
That is really good.
Yeah, it's for a long time.
16, I was sexually assaultedand when and I stayed quiet, I
didn't say anything for threeyears Nobody knew about it.
I turned 18 and I had cervicalcancer.
At my first pap smear.
At my first pap smear, I was,and I knew why it happened like
(13:39):
between what the doctor told meand I knew why it happened,
which made it that much harderto deal with, and then went back
six months later it was fine.
Six months after that thecancer had come back.
And so at 19, again cervicalcancer.
And by that time I was like in atailspin of depression and I
(13:59):
knew, like why I was depressed,but nobody knew, nobody could
understand.
And and when I finally spoke itup, it was like this release of
wow, just by saying it, theweight that came off of my
(14:20):
shoulders, the weight that leftmy chest and don't get me wrong,
I wasn't healed already Like ittook many years of healing, but
it was like hearing my voicefinally say it, rather than just
keeping it inside.
That, I feel like, did such ahuge difference in my life that,
(14:44):
yeah, I think that the ourvoice is so important and when
we hear it back, sometimes welisten back to our voice and
we're like god, that sounds soweird because that's not what I
hear in my head, but it's sobeautiful because your
subconscious knows and, likethat, that internal you knows
that's you speaking and so, yeah, I think that's so powerful.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
I did too, I'm like you.
I am so southern.
When I did too, I'm like you.
I am so Southern.
When I hear myself back, I'mlike Jesus.
I love it so much.
I just think that we wereblessed with having our own
opinion and stuff, and I saidlook.
I said, I was made unique andI'm not apologizing for it and I
love who I am and I love toshare and I'm just.
I am unapologetic and boldabout it.
(15:29):
But sometimes calling your ownself out on the carpet it does a
big difference and I'll jerkmyself on the carpet as quick as
I will anybody else.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Give us like a little bit ofbackground.
What is your against all oddsstory?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
It's in two separate parts, but I unfortunately, in
your cancer thing stuck with me.
I've lost my bonus dad, mybiological dad and my mom out of
cancer and my bonus dad and mybiological dad I was losing at
the very same time and I lostone in August and one in
November of the very same yearand I am the baby of the family
(16:08):
on that side.
But yet I still was a bigadvocate and I fought and
challenged the doctors and weflew one to the cancer center.
I had one that wanted to donothing and I was dealing with
hospice and going back and forthto the cancer center I had my
youngest son was a senior inhigh school, my oldest son was
in college and we were singleand I was self-employed.
(16:29):
So guess what, when you'reflying and not working, you're
not getting paid.
But that was the biggest timethat I saw that definitely what
I was made of, and instead ofsitting in the corner, poor woe
is me.
I knew my kids were watchingand I had to set the example and
I had to push through it.
It was devastating.
It was horrible, unlikeanything else, because those
were my.
When I divorced, those were mytwo rocks.
(16:51):
I loved my biological dad andmy bonus dad and they were two
totally different personalitiesbut I loved them both and when I
had asked for divorce I didn'tneed them financially but they
were just like my men.
So my whole world was gettingrocked within that short
timeframe.
So we got through that.
(17:12):
Some other things went.
My aunt got non-alcoholiccirrhosis of liver.
She has no kids, so I advocatedfor her and challenged some of
the doctors and was going backand forth to a large hospital.
She did get her liver.
It's been successful.
She's doing well and my mom wedid not have cancer running on
(17:35):
that side of the family and thenlast September we found out she
had stage four liver and lungcancer.
So instead of beating down andstuff, we just had to learn that
things in life are lesson oflesson and when I would get mad
that I am fixing to be 52 anddon't have parents.
I put my big girl pants on andrealized some people never got
(17:55):
to know their parents, Somepeople never loved by their
parents.
So I try to always, no matterwhat the situation is, see the
blessing in it.
Just like you said, when I getout of bed I always think of
what I'm blessed for andgratitude.
I always have gratitude and itwas tough, but I was just
blessed that, working for myself, that I was able to be
(18:18):
everything that my mama needed.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, that's, I feel you.
My dad passed away in 2022 andI've been daddy's girl since we
had our own business.
He was a watch repairman, so wehad a jewelry shop for as long
as I could remember, and since Iwas eight years old, whenever I
wasn't in school in the summers, on Saturdays, I would be in
(18:45):
the shop with him and I couldbarely get over the showcase and
I would ask customers how can Ihelp you?
And whatever.
So it was me and him were soclose and 2020 happened and he
found out that he had bladdercancer that same summer, so he
(19:05):
had to have surgery and no onecould go to the hospital.
He was 72 years old, I believe,at the time, and had never been
in a hospital for himself, andso he was healthy his whole
entire life.
And then, all of a sudden, thisis like smacking us in the face
and I felt so blessed that I Iworked for myself and that I
(19:30):
could be there, and when my momwas working, she didn't have to
worry.
I was always there, and so itwas a huge blessing.
He didn't want to do anytreatment, so he had the surgery
, didn't want to do anytreatment and totally against
everything that.
(19:50):
I was like, dad, just go to theoncologist and just talk to
them, you don't have to doanything, just go talk.
And he's like, nope, nothappening, I'm not doing
anything.
The treatment was what killedmy mom.
It was what killed my brother.
It wasn't the cancer itself, itwas the treatment.
And I was like, okay, okay, mylove, whatever you say.
And so I was there for all ofit.
(20:13):
And then, probably like sixmonths after, like he started
feeling so this crazy pain inlike the bottom of his feet and
I'm like what is happening?
And he wouldn't go and he triedto remedy it every other way
and he's like, but I'm justgetting older and I'm still
(20:34):
working, and blah, blah, blah.
And I was like, go get checked,go get checked, go get checked.
He didn't, until he couldn'thandle it the pain anymore.
And he had.
I think at that point it was adiverticulitis that was inflamed
, that was pinching a nerve, andfrom that, thankfully, they
(20:55):
found that there was spots ofcancer that had metastasized.
And I was like, okay, we're notgoing without a fight now, so
we're gonna go see an oncologistand you don't have to do
anything.
If you don't want to, let's goand see this doctor.
(21:15):
She was like an angel sent fromheaven, the most caring.
She explained everything to him, told him, put him at ease.
If this doesn't feel good, mrManuel, then I am not here to
push anything on you.
I'm here to guide you, and ifyou don't feel comfortable with
(21:38):
it, then we won't do it.
And he felt so incrediblycomfortable that immediately he
was like I'll do whatever youwant, I'll do whatever you
suggest.
And I was like, oh my God, oh myGod, that's the best thing
that's ever happened.
Listen, he went from being inpain every single day to his
(22:00):
first chemo treatment,immediately found relief and had
energy and, like it was justthis crazy thought process, I
wholeheartedly believe that heneeded to pass, knowing that
(22:20):
treatment wasn't evil there'sbenefits to it as well, because
he was so dead set on not havingthat.
But I felt so blessed that Iwas at every single appointment.
I took him to every chemo.
I took him to all the followups.
I took him and he did reallygreat on that treatment.
(22:42):
And then when he got put onimmunotherapy, it actually
regressed, and so that's whenhis health started to decline.
And again, I was there at allof the appointments, all of the
hospital visits.
I would stay with him, and soit did end up being in his liver
.
It had then progressed intoother places and hospice.
(23:07):
I was there the whole time.
So I empathize so much with youbecause I've been through some
loss in my life.
But that took the.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
That definitely took it from me hospice on my
biological dad and my mom.
It was tough because you're youknow what you're asking.
But I said I'd rather havequality over quantity.
But yeah, I was like my mom wasright here in my house, this
(23:38):
was her safe place where sheliked to be, so she was in my
bedroom, she was at my house andI would not change it for
anything.
Yeah, but until somebodyendures it, they'll never
understand it.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Yeah, it was both beautiful and completely
heartbreaking all at the sametime, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
I would be trying to.
I don't like to cry.
I usually have a little warroom where I go cry and stuff
and mama would say somebodybetter slap her when I die so
she'll cry.
But as it was going I couldn'thardly walk in the room without
losing it.
She said I'm not happy, you'reupset, but I'm glad you cried.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Well, I think it's funny because they know, they
know what we need and we try tobe so tough and I gave him his
last bath and just things likethat.
It's just, it's beautiful andheartbreaking all at once and
and until you go through it youhave it's like a club that I
(24:38):
didn't want to be a part of.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
No, I was with all three when they left the world
that was yeah, yeah, but.
But kudos to you and to me andall the other ones that have
been able to, because, eventhough you don't love seeing
them like that, I would neverwant her to be somewhere where
we're not there and not with herevery second, and I had a whole
(25:00):
tribe that rallied for supportand love, and that's when you
truly will find out who yourpeople are.
Yeah, absolutely.
Anybody can be with you for whenit's good, but not everybody is
staying beside you when it'sbad.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Absolutely.
He had all.
His children were four.
He had all his children, mostof his grandchildren, nieces,
nephews like my mom it was wecouldn't.
There was no room in hisbedroom, like we were all
surrounding him till his lastbreath and it was just beautiful
(25:37):
.
But it is so hard and if I haveto say anything about grief is
let yourself experience it.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Well, that's right.
Some people try to answer withfood.
Some people try to answer withalcohol, and it's tempting, but
all you're doing is band-aidingit.
The best thing I tell people todo is to plant your feet, walk
through it.
Hurt, feel it, cry, have alittle depression.
Just don't stay there.
Have a day you lay in bed, butI don't, you can't outrun it.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
It is going to find you, so yeah, and in the
craziest moments too, thatyou're like I was just fine.
How was it that I'm like dyingright now?
I have found a lot of solace inso, once he passed away, people
started like sending thingswith cardinals on it because
(26:29):
they say that's your loved onesfrom heaven, and I started
seeing cardinals everywhere andnow I have a bird feeder and I
am the bird lady now.
Like I know the bird calls forcardinals.
I go on a walk every morningand I watch cardinals play and
fly around.
It is the craziest thing andthat is me talking to him, like
(26:53):
I'm on my walk and I'm like goodmorning and thanks for sending
me blessings.
You know that today it's just,it's my grieving process of like
still feeling the connectionthat we had, and it's just
beautiful.
Like you just have to find what, like my friend and her dad, is
(27:14):
butterflies, what, like myfriend and her dad, is
butterflies.
So, whatever you feel thatconnection, just know that like
that's it, that's it, that it'snot.
That's not you going crazy,it's literally you feeling that
connection and their spiritthere and still guiding you, and
it's beautiful anyways.
(27:34):
But now what are your goals?
Going forward with yourcoaching and all of that?
Well, I'm like you.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
I enjoy the talking and empowering as well and I
have a podcast back upon thestuff.
But when all that happened, Ihad to back it up and put my
priorities where they needed tobe.
So I am good about stepping back, but I won't forget it and it
was just not the right time.
So I want to get that going andbeen working on the website,
(28:09):
doing some speaking, getting insome health and wellness stuff
and just loving myself andtaking care of myself, because
when you are an advocate andeverything for everybody else
and as a woman in general, it iseasy to put ourselves last
because we feel like we have togive everything we've got to
everybody else.
We've got to fix what we've gotto make and sometimes when we
do that, we leave nothing for us.
(28:31):
So instead of being selfish,I'm going to be self-full and
fill myself up and my kids hookme up with a massage and a
facial and I've got some stuffgoing on that I'm just pampering
myself a little bit.
That is a grief and grace timefor me, and then rejuvenate and
ready to bust it wide open.
So I am working on a book and Iwas working on that, but then I
(28:55):
got really emotional with itand emotions are great people,
but I just can only handle somuch of the time.
So, yeah, so that's still there,and when I have those moments
that I want to work on it, I do,because it's not a feast for
famine.
It's just like you, I've got astory.
There's some life lessons andlearning to turn your lessons
into blessings instead of beinga victim.
(29:16):
I think a lot of times, nomatter what we have, people have
always had it worse, and thatwhat is minor to us and us
sharing it and the things youshared make a difference for
somebody else and not makingthem feel alone, and I love that
.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, I absolutely agree with that.
So my mindset coach got this, Ibelieve, from Tony Robbins,
which I also love, but he sayslife is always happening for you
and not to you, and it's thedifference between seeing the
perspective of a victim orsomeone that has understood this
(29:50):
is something that's happeningand how is it going to happen
for me.
So what are the blessings thatcome from it and how is it going
to happen for me?
So what are the blessings thatcome from it?
And I resonate with that somuch because I had a lot of
victim mentality before, withdealing with cancer and 18 years
old and dealing with sexualassault at 16 years old and all
(30:10):
of the repercussions that camefrom it, infertility and just so
many different things.
And I could feel that thatvictim mentality in my body and
my body started when I followeda mentor called Bob Proctor for
(30:30):
many, many, many years.
I still do, but he's passed.
But he said he talks about whenthere's dis-ease in the body, it
creates disease, and that wasmy cancer, was this disease,
this dis-ease that I continuedto create in my body because I
(30:51):
could have had not healed fromthe situation that I had gone
through when I was 16.
I was still stuck in thatemotion, and so I learned how to
like, let's say, forgive myselffor all of the things that I
(31:11):
felt I could have done better ordifferent or whatever, and
forgive that person, because Itruly feel that for someone to
hurt someone in that way, theyhave to be hurting so much and
it's finding like an empathythat not that I will ever forget
(31:35):
, but I will be able to let goof that.
I tell my kids, even whensomething as silly as somebody
cuts you off, they're probablypooping in their pants and they
have to go.
So it's like flipping thatscript as to oh this jerk just
cut me off to oh, he's got to goto the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
But see the difference in laughing versus
being frustrated with it.
And one of my big words I loveto use is flawsome.
And that's pretty much whatwe're saying Learning to love
yourself, flaws and all.
And I'm like wheneversomebody's done you wrong or
talked about you, whatever youletting them harbor in here and
it causing you grief, you'restill letting them win.
(32:18):
And I tell everybody.
I said, the best revenge youwill ever have in your life on
somebody is being happy.
It's being happy because peoplecan't handle it.
They don't understand whyyou're smiling, why you're okay,
why what they're saying is notbothering you, but you know what
they don't deserve that part ofyou and it's only you that can
give it to them.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Bothering you, but you know what they don't deserve
that part of you and it's onlyyou that can give it to them.
Yeah, absolutely.
I used to get asked, which Ialways found so funny, but now I
can understand that obviouslythey were just not in the same
healing journey as I was.
But I used to get asked why Iwas so happy all the time.
What, what kind of question isthat?
(32:57):
It just, I'm like, because I'mstill alive.
I had cancer four times in mylife.
I went through a surgery wherethey had to do a blood
transfusion because they almostlost me.
I lost so much blood, theyalmost lost me, I was 28 years
old at that point.
So much blood they almost lostme.
(33:18):
I was 28 years old at thatpoint.
I was 32 when I had cancertwice that year.
I am alive.
I am here.
I'm still.
There is a reason, there is apurpose behind me still being
here.
I overcame against all odds,hence the name of the podcast.
I guess all odds.
I have overcome so many thingsin my life and I feel like that
(33:40):
in itself is something to behappy about.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Well, that was what I laughed.
I told somebody.
I said well, I've totaled threecars in my lifetime.
I walked away from every one ofthem.
I said so I still have apurpose.
He's still keeping me here fora reason Exactly.
And it's not to be a race cardriver, exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
I find again, I love that somehow or another, we kind
of people gravitate towardseach other and it is beautiful
to me that because I feel likeso much of this world needs our
happiness and not it doesn'tmean that we can't be unhappy or
we can't go through situations,but so much of the world needs
(34:26):
to know that there could becircumstances in your lives that
are not easy.
That doesn't take away from youputting a smile on your face
and loving yourself and puttingyour oxygen mask on first and
taking care of you before youtake care of everyone else.
I learned that the hard way andI learned that my health
journey was important and if Ididn't take care of myself, my
(34:52):
kids wouldn't have seen me hereanymore and instead of, at 40,
39 years old, burying their momor whatever at that age, like I
did with my dad, they would havebeen little kids 12, 11, like
that was, yeah, that was.
(35:13):
That was not okay for me, so Ineeded to learn how to love them
and still put them after me andit.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Well, we always say, like on the plane, that's the
first thing to tell you about,but we don't think it is to real
life.
But it is and it's.
So everybody does notunderstand our happiness, our
laughing, but I tell everybody.
I said I know I'm noteverybody's cup of tea, but I'm
not asking everybody to take asip either.
You know you have to do what itsays.
(35:45):
You're so on fire and makes youhappy, and sitting around the
house all sad and pathetic doesnot make me happy.
So, so therefore I'm not doingit.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Yeah, I'm not serving anything or anyone like that.
Been there, done that thatdidn't help anybody.
Yeah, I again.
I love that.
I love that this is the kind ofconversations we get to have on
a Wednesday.
I coined my Wednesdays WonderWoman Wednesday, and normally I
work out every morning so I'llhave the Wonder Woman sports bra
(36:18):
and a Wonder Woman shirt.
Yeah, because I feel like thatneeds to be celebrated.
I think that's part of lovingyourself is learning how to
celebrate yourself and be likewell, look at me and these kids,
like I have my son graduating.
That's my second childgraduating on Friday and I'm
(36:39):
like, well, damn, look, I feelgood and he's a good kid,
exactly Like there's somethingto celebrate and we don't.
I don't think we do that enough, especially as women.
I think that as women, we don'tdo that enough.
I feel like it's not that Idon't want to say easier for men
(37:01):
, but it comes more secondnature to men to praise
themselves, where we're like, ohmy God, that that looks wrong,
that we get to do that and we doso much and carry so much
weight on of everything, and Ithink that it's important that
we celebrate ourselves.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
So I celebrate you, I'll celebrate you, I'll holler
our praises all day long, yeahexactly.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
I love this so much Anything else that you feel
that's on your heart?
Speaker 3 (37:33):
My biggest thing for people is just like you said.
I tell everybody.
I said, if you want to reallyknow if you love yourself, get
up in the morning and it's goingto sound funny, but you get
dressed in the mirror and getready, or get yourself ready in
the mirror and naked for fivedays in a row.
If you don't love what you'redoing, God give you the ability
to get up to change it.
Quit whining about it.
Don't blame it on nobody else.
It's all up to you.
Quit whining about it.
(37:53):
Don't blame it on nobody else.
It's all up to you.
You've got to make the choices.
You've got to make the changesand don't make it sound like
it's a punishment.
Biggest thing, if you're ableto, I get in the kitchen with my
kids and we take the unhealthystuff and learn to make it
healthy, but enjoy it.
Yeah, but every day you get upis a chance to be a better you,
(38:17):
and if you miss it on that,shame on you.
But quit negotiating withyourself what all you do.
We are master negotiators withourself on talking ourself out
of stuff.
I've been there, done it, stilldoing on some things not on
some things, but being aware andlearning to love yourself.
Because when you do loveyourself just like talking to
you you pure shine, your smileis bright and you've got a
healthy attitude and you lookhealthy and it makes a
(38:40):
difference and that attractspeople and people love it
because we smile or say we're alittle different, so don't live
in a cookie cutter world.
We're all individually madedifferent, so quit trying to
look and compare yourself toeverybody else.
Just be the best you.
And I say healthy.
Healthy is not always the sizeof your ass, it is your insides
(39:02):
as well.
Because I would be real healthy.
So it is just giving yourself alittle bit of grace, but pushing
yourself in the process andbreaking the cycle.
I lost my parents at 61, 63 and71.
I'm not going to do that for mykids.
I'm going to stay healthy,unless some accident happens,
(39:22):
I'm going to break the cycle.
So just no matter what you'vecome from, whether it's amazing
or bad, that still doesn'talways have to be your path.
You are in charge of your path.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
So take responsibility.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Put your pants on and let's go.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Yeah, I had a podcast interview yesterday that I
interviewed this man that grewup homeless, sometimes in with
his mom in tents and hissiblings in tents and cars, when
he has a multi-million dollarportfolio.
Oh, wow, and I'm like that isamazing.
(40:01):
Yes, like that, talk about notliving in your circumstances and
instead letting thosecircumstances fuel you to become
a better you and break thatcycle.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
I totally agree.
One hundred percent, yeah.
So it's just, I just love thisso much to become a better you
and break that cycle.
I totally agree 100%.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Yeah, so it's just.
I just love this so much.
I love that this is the kind ofconversations we get to have.
I am so incredibly honored thatyou are here with us today and
truly, just I want to continueto connect.
I think that this is good.
I love this.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
But I'll give all of our listeners all of your
information on the show notes,so look out for that.
I am so incredibly grateful tohave you here today, thank you,
thank you.
Thank you so much, shannon andlisteners, I hope you got a lot
out of today, just like I did,and I hope you have an amazing
rest of your day out of today,just like I did, and I hope you
(40:58):
have an amazing rest of your day.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
Peace out, guys.
Love your life.
Bye.
Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Less Than
1% Chance podcast with your host, maria Aponte, where we will
hear stories of incrediblepeople thriving against all odds
, and my hope is that we can allsee how life is always
happening for us, even when weare the Less Than 1% Chance.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey, hey, welcome back to, against All Odds, the
Less Than 1% Chance Podcast withyour host, maria Aponte.
I hope you are doing fantastictoday.
We are in for a treat today.
Our guest is Shannon Sellers.
She empowers women to love andbelieve in themselves.
She's a business owner, a coach, a motivator, who knows that
(00:42):
our problems don't define us.
She believes that everyone iscapable of extraordinary things
and it's her mission to helpothers get there.
You are never too old to starta new journey in your life.
And she encourages women to getrooted and set their vision for
a life that they want anddesire.
Start by turning your pain intopower, and that is what she
(01:05):
feels so passionate about, and Iam so excited for you to hear
her story.
Hello, shannon, welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Thank you.
Thank you for having me ohabsolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I feel like we share a lot of the same beliefs and I
love that.
Like attracts, like that.
It's empowering to be able tosay, oh, I'm not alone in this
mindset of let's just get betterand understand that, against
all odds, we're so powerful.
So give us a little bit ofbackground about because your
(01:37):
story from what I heard, you'vebeen doing something for 32
years that you were not beingpaid for 32 years that you were
not being paid for.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yes, I, by trade, was a hairdresser now going on 32
years but I always had theability to make people feel good
on the outside, and in theprocess of doing that, I
realized that it was as muchtherapy and coaching as it was
my ability.
So I decided that I was going toseparate the two and get paid
separate and have a little moreof a quiet session.
(02:06):
I love it and it fuels me.
I love to see the light go frompeople's eyes.
I've had people smiling, cryingfor the good, the bad realizing
and it is just a God givenability that everybody does not
have.
Yeah, I agree, and took it witha coat of armor and excited
about it yeah, that's amazing, Iagree.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I feel like my hairdresser knows more about me
than most yeah, people, andshe's my aunt, so she's known me
for my entire life and it'sfunny because I feel like we
trust our hairdressers more thanmost people.
Like I can sit down and she'slike what do you want?
I was like whatever you like,as long as it's purple.
(02:49):
There you go as long as it'spurple Exactly as long as it's
purple, do whatever you'd like.
So she's had fun with my hairmy entire life.
It's so funny.
She is definitely my therapistin some cases.
So I see where you cancorrelate the two and where I
think that it's so powerful thatyou were like wait a second,
(03:14):
this is something that I coulddo, that I have a gift for.
And you're right, it doesn't.
It's not something thateveryone has.
So that is amazing that you didthat.
So how have you been able toseparate everything and then
come full circle and whereyou're at?
Speaker 3 (03:30):
now.
Well, for me, being behind thechair, from being with your aunt
, you've only have a certainamount of time and you can chit,
chat and talk, but you can'treally get into the meat and
potatoes of everything all thetime.
So for me, I have an office setup in my home.
You see how bright and prettyand colorful it is.
So when COVID hit, it changedthe whole thing, where everybody
thought they had to be inperson all the time.
(03:52):
So it allows me to have someone-on-ones I can.
I've done some classes, I'vedone some events.
I believe in doing visionboards and creating a vision,
because we talk about and givelip service all the time, but if
you don't write it down or putit into action, you don't have
that accountability.
Yeah, so it has given me theopportunity to step away and
(04:14):
even though I love my job beingyou know I'm fixing to knock out
52 and I am rocking it I willtell you two need replacements
later I realized that I wantedto create some income that did
not put me required to standbehind that chair all day even
though I love it.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
You can't put all your eggs in one basket,
absolutely and what?
You never know what happens.
My aunt she can't always blowdry my hair because her hands
have all kinds of differentissues, and so, yeah, I
definitely agree that this willgive you this longevity, that
the actual physical work thatyou do won't stand up to what
(04:53):
the body's like.
I need a break now.
Let's step back a little bit.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Look, I'm out there at 4 30 in the morning doing
hair.
Yeah oh my gosh.
I, when I had kids like you, Ididn't want to be away from in
the afternoons and evenings, soI told people they could come
before they went to work.
They couldn't tell me it wasmessing up anything but their
sleep schedule.
And I wasn't sitting there allthe evenings because I was not
going to miss things with mykids, because I had been a
(05:19):
single parent for 12 years now.
Yeah, my boys are not babiesanymore.
But they're always my babies.
But, you know, I set myboundaries of what I was willing
to give up and not, and, beingthe best mom, I was not willing
to give that up.
So I rearranged and made ithappen.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
That's amazing.
I love that.
Yeah, and you were talkingabout vision boards.
I look up because I have myvision board for 2024 up there
and even just this podcast.
So I'm launching.
This will be season two of thepodcast, and last year I had no
idea that it was May 2023 that Iwent to a mindset conference
(06:02):
and my mindset coach gave us atask, an action.
That was a scary action to doand I had it on my heart for
years that I wanted to do apodcast but never took action on
it and I like never made it apriority and I was like I have a
story to tell.
I know that this is somethingthat needs to happen.
(06:24):
And he was like you need totake one big scary action on
this, on whatever goal you have.
He told the room and I was likeI'm gonna go ahead and start
that podcast and so that waslike my big scary thing was I'm
going to sign up for theplatform and I'm already paying
for it because I didn't get thefree version.
(06:45):
So it's going to happen.
And that was like middle of Mayand by the end of May I created
the artwork.
It was like this yes, it wasjust amazing Like I got all
these things done and I had noclue what I was doing.
I was like just Googling hey,how do I create an intro and an
(07:07):
outro to the podcast?
It was just like this, like allof this adrenaline from this
one action season or first yearof it it was solo episodes with
(07:29):
stories that I had myself andthen friends that I knew had
really against all odd momentsin their life and all kinds of
different topics.
And so when I found thisFacebook page, I had recorded an
episode, but I was going tolaunch it that one week and I
was like you know what?
No, I'm going to hold off.
This is going to be thebeginner of season two.
(07:51):
Had no plan on how I was goingto continue and this like fell
into place.
But where I'm getting with thisis on my vision board up here
it says number one podcastagainst all odds.
Board up here, it says numberone podcast against all odds.
(08:14):
And so all of a sudden, in likethe last two weeks, I've
recorded like 20 episodes, yay.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, thisis awesome the way like things
fall into place, but when youhave it in front of you that you
look like I literally sit downon my desk.
I look up and there's like allof my things that I want to do
and that must I get ready?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
I sit at a vanity in the morning and when I look one
of my big things is my why is onthe board.
And when I do the class, I tellpeople to bring pictures of
their why.
And do you know how many peoplenever bring a picture of their
self?
And I said you got to want itfor you as much as anybody else.
You've got to give yourselfsome love and some attention,
(08:54):
and so I'll ask them to do that.
I asked him to write a threeand six month letter to their
self.
But, there is something justlike when he asked you to do
that, you had talked about it,but when you verbally committed
or wrote it down, it was like,oh my God.
Like if you're probablycompetitive like me to a degree
and I hate to lose, I might noteven want the prize, but I'm
(09:17):
willing to go, or even if I giveit to somebody else, I'll do
anything for a T-shirt, yeah, sowith that it was like, ok, and
so I'll get him to do that.
I was like you can sell it andgive it to me or you can put it
on your board and read it foryourself, but the accountability
, I think, was the big thing.
So I love that.
But kudos to you, good job itmade you know that you're doing
(09:39):
what you're called to do?
Speaker 2 (09:40):
yeah, it definitely.
I listen to an app everymorning, so I have like a ritual
.
So I get up, try to, before Iget out of bed, think of at
least one thing that I amgrateful for.
But I put on my headphones andI listened to an app by Brendan
Burchard.
It's called Growth Day and so Ilistened to what he calls a
(10:10):
daily fire.
So every morning he does adaily inspirational,
motivational, in your faceframework of something and to
start your day, and he has ajournal attached.
It's so good, so I start thatevery morning.
And then, after that is done,as I'm like brushing my teeth
and doing my face creams and allthat stuff, I listened to this
(10:34):
app called Think Up, and in theThink Up app you can record
yourself saying affirmations ormaybe recording your own vision
or whatever, and so it has musicthat goes behind it and you can
listen to yourself.
Oh, that's cool.
It is the coolest thing,because when you, like, I used
(10:57):
to listen to a YouTube video orwhatever of like affirmations or
whatever, but it was somebodyelse's voice.
Yeah, and this is my voice.
That is like talking to myselfand it's like a more
subconscious thing, like it getsin there and had a goal of
(11:18):
speaking on stages.
So those things, little bylittle, have come to fruition
and it's just the coolest thing.
(11:38):
And today, actually, I waslistening to a podcast with the
super trainer, sean T.
He's with Beachbody used to beBeachbody, now his body and he
is responsible for transformingso many people's lives,
including myself.
I started his program andthat's what changed my
trajectory completely.
And he talks about visionboards and sometimes on vision
(12:02):
boards people put pictures ofother people on there and that
doesn't feel right.
It should be a picture of whenyou felt your best, yes, and I
was like, well, that's, I didn'teven think of that, but I had a
picture of when I felt my bestand I have it up there and it's.
(12:25):
And when I'm listening to him,as I'm like getting putting my
makeup on and whatever, and Ilook up and I'm like, look at
that, I did what he said evenbefore I even knew about it was
just it's.
I love the power of visionboards.
I just truly believe that, likewhen you see it, when you write
it, when you feel it justelevates that vibration in your
(12:48):
body to attract that and justlove it so much.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Well, I love the fact that, when you were talking
about doing the app for yourself, that you realize that your
voice matters and that you wereable to get it from inside out,
and I do think sometimes, whenyou actually verbalize it
outward, it makes you moreresponsible for it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Make it happen, so I love that.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
That is really good.
Yeah, it's for a long time.
16, I was sexually assaultedand when and I stayed quiet, I
didn't say anything for threeyears Nobody knew about it.
I turned 18 and I had cervicalcancer.
At my first pap smear.
At my first pap smear, I was,and I knew why it happened like
(13:39):
between what the doctor told meand I knew why it happened,
which made it that much harderto deal with, and then went back
six months later it was fine.
Six months after that thecancer had come back.
And so at 19, again cervicalcancer.
And by that time I was like in atailspin of depression and I
(13:59):
knew, like why I was depressed,but nobody knew, nobody could
understand.
And and when I finally spoke itup, it was like this release of
wow, just by saying it, theweight that came off of my
(14:20):
shoulders, the weight that leftmy chest and don't get me wrong,
I wasn't healed already Like ittook many years of healing, but
it was like hearing my voicefinally say it, rather than just
keeping it inside.
That, I feel like, did such ahuge difference in my life that,
(14:44):
yeah, I think that the ourvoice is so important and when
we hear it back, sometimes welisten back to our voice and
we're like god, that sounds soweird because that's not what I
hear in my head, but it's sobeautiful because your
subconscious knows and, likethat, that internal you knows
that's you speaking and so, yeah, I think that's so powerful.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
I did too, I'm like you.
I am so southern.
When I did too, I'm like you.
I am so Southern.
When I hear myself back, I'mlike Jesus.
I love it so much.
I just think that we wereblessed with having our own
opinion and stuff, and I saidlook.
I said, I was made unique andI'm not apologizing for it and I
love who I am and I love toshare and I'm just.
I am unapologetic and boldabout it.
(15:29):
But sometimes calling your ownself out on the carpet it does a
big difference and I'll jerkmyself on the carpet as quick as
I will anybody else.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Give us like a little bit ofbackground.
What is your against all oddsstory?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
It's in two separate parts, but I unfortunately, in
your cancer thing stuck with me.
I've lost my bonus dad, mybiological dad and my mom out of
cancer and my bonus dad and mybiological dad I was losing at
the very same time and I lostone in August and one in
November of the very same yearand I am the baby of the family
(16:08):
on that side.
But yet I still was a bigadvocate and I fought and
challenged the doctors and weflew one to the cancer center.
I had one that wanted to donothing and I was dealing with
hospice and going back and forthto the cancer center I had my
youngest son was a senior inhigh school, my oldest son was
in college and we were singleand I was self-employed.
(16:29):
So guess what, when you'reflying and not working, you're
not getting paid.
But that was the biggest timethat I saw that definitely what
I was made of, and instead ofsitting in the corner, poor woe
is me.
I knew my kids were watchingand I had to set the example and
I had to push through it.
It was devastating.
It was horrible, unlikeanything else, because those
were my.
When I divorced, those were mytwo rocks.
(16:51):
I loved my biological dad andmy bonus dad and they were two
totally different personalitiesbut I loved them both and when I
had asked for divorce I didn'tneed them financially but they
were just like my men.
So my whole world was gettingrocked within that short
timeframe.
So we got through that.
(17:12):
Some other things went.
My aunt got non-alcoholiccirrhosis of liver.
She has no kids, so I advocatedfor her and challenged some of
the doctors and was going backand forth to a large hospital.
She did get her liver.
It's been successful.
She's doing well and my mom wedid not have cancer running on
(17:35):
that side of the family and thenlast September we found out she
had stage four liver and lungcancer.
So instead of beating down andstuff, we just had to learn that
things in life are lesson oflesson and when I would get mad
that I am fixing to be 52 anddon't have parents.
I put my big girl pants on andrealized some people never got
(17:55):
to know their parents, Somepeople never loved by their
parents.
So I try to always, no matterwhat the situation is, see the
blessing in it.
Just like you said, when I getout of bed I always think of
what I'm blessed for andgratitude.
I always have gratitude and itwas tough, but I was just
blessed that, working for myself, that I was able to be
(18:18):
everything that my mama needed.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, that's, I feel you.
My dad passed away in 2022 andI've been daddy's girl since we
had our own business.
He was a watch repairman, so wehad a jewelry shop for as long
as I could remember, and since Iwas eight years old, whenever I
wasn't in school in the summers, on Saturdays, I would be in
(18:45):
the shop with him and I couldbarely get over the showcase and
I would ask customers how can Ihelp you?
And whatever.
So it was me and him were soclose and 2020 happened and he
found out that he had bladdercancer that same summer, so he
(19:05):
had to have surgery and no onecould go to the hospital.
He was 72 years old, I believe,at the time, and had never been
in a hospital for himself, andso he was healthy his whole
entire life.
And then, all of a sudden, thisis like smacking us in the face
and I felt so blessed that I Iworked for myself and that I
(19:30):
could be there, and when my momwas working, she didn't have to
worry.
I was always there, and so itwas a huge blessing.
He didn't want to do anytreatment, so he had the surgery
, didn't want to do anytreatment and totally against
everything that.
(19:50):
I was like, dad, just go to theoncologist and just talk to
them, you don't have to doanything, just go talk.
And he's like, nope, nothappening, I'm not doing
anything.
The treatment was what killedmy mom.
It was what killed my brother.
It wasn't the cancer itself, itwas the treatment.
And I was like, okay, okay, mylove, whatever you say.
And so I was there for all ofit.
(20:13):
And then, probably like sixmonths after, like he started
feeling so this crazy pain inlike the bottom of his feet and
I'm like what is happening?
And he wouldn't go and he triedto remedy it every other way
and he's like, but I'm justgetting older and I'm still
(20:34):
working, and blah, blah, blah.
And I was like, go get checked,go get checked, go get checked.
He didn't, until he couldn'thandle it the pain anymore.
And he had.
I think at that point it was adiverticulitis that was inflamed
, that was pinching a nerve, andfrom that, thankfully, they
(20:55):
found that there was spots ofcancer that had metastasized.
And I was like, okay, we're notgoing without a fight now, so
we're gonna go see an oncologistand you don't have to do
anything.
If you don't want to, let's goand see this doctor.
(21:15):
She was like an angel sent fromheaven, the most caring.
She explained everything to him, told him, put him at ease.
If this doesn't feel good, mrManuel, then I am not here to
push anything on you.
I'm here to guide you, and ifyou don't feel comfortable with
(21:38):
it, then we won't do it.
And he felt so incrediblycomfortable that immediately he
was like I'll do whatever youwant, I'll do whatever you
suggest.
And I was like, oh my God, oh myGod, that's the best thing
that's ever happened.
Listen, he went from being inpain every single day to his
(22:00):
first chemo treatment,immediately found relief and had
energy and, like it was justthis crazy thought process, I
wholeheartedly believe that heneeded to pass, knowing that
(22:20):
treatment wasn't evil there'sbenefits to it as well, because
he was so dead set on not havingthat.
But I felt so blessed that Iwas at every single appointment.
I took him to every chemo.
I took him to all the followups.
I took him and he did reallygreat on that treatment.
(22:42):
And then when he got put onimmunotherapy, it actually
regressed, and so that's whenhis health started to decline.
And again, I was there at allof the appointments, all of the
hospital visits.
I would stay with him, and soit did end up being in his liver
.
It had then progressed intoother places and hospice.
(23:07):
I was there the whole time.
So I empathize so much with youbecause I've been through some
loss in my life.
But that took the.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
That definitely took it from me hospice on my
biological dad and my mom.
It was tough because you're youknow what you're asking.
But I said I'd rather havequality over quantity.
But yeah, I was like my mom wasright here in my house, this
(23:38):
was her safe place where sheliked to be, so she was in my
bedroom, she was at my house andI would not change it for
anything.
Yeah, but until somebodyendures it, they'll never
understand it.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Yeah, it was both beautiful and completely
heartbreaking all at the sametime, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
I would be trying to.
I don't like to cry.
I usually have a little warroom where I go cry and stuff
and mama would say somebodybetter slap her when I die so
she'll cry.
But as it was going I couldn'thardly walk in the room without
losing it.
She said I'm not happy, you'reupset, but I'm glad you cried.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Well, I think it's funny because they know, they
know what we need and we try tobe so tough and I gave him his
last bath and just things likethat.
It's just, it's beautiful andheartbreaking all at once and
and until you go through it youhave it's like a club that I
(24:38):
didn't want to be a part of.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
No, I was with all three when they left the world
that was yeah, yeah, but.
But kudos to you and to me andall the other ones that have
been able to, because, eventhough you don't love seeing
them like that, I would neverwant her to be somewhere where
we're not there and not with herevery second, and I had a whole
(25:00):
tribe that rallied for supportand love, and that's when you
truly will find out who yourpeople are.
Yeah, absolutely.
Anybody can be with you for whenit's good, but not everybody is
staying beside you when it'sbad.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Absolutely.
He had all.
His children were four.
He had all his children, mostof his grandchildren, nieces,
nephews like my mom it was wecouldn't.
There was no room in hisbedroom, like we were all
surrounding him till his lastbreath and it was just beautiful
(25:37):
.
But it is so hard and if I haveto say anything about grief is
let yourself experience it.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Well, that's right.
Some people try to answer withfood.
Some people try to answer withalcohol, and it's tempting, but
all you're doing is band-aidingit.
The best thing I tell people todo is to plant your feet, walk
through it.
Hurt, feel it, cry, have alittle depression.
Just don't stay there.
Have a day you lay in bed, butI don't, you can't outrun it.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
It is going to find you, so yeah, and in the
craziest moments too, thatyou're like I was just fine.
How was it that I'm like dyingright now?
I have found a lot of solace inso, once he passed away, people
started like sending thingswith cardinals on it because
(26:29):
they say that's your loved onesfrom heaven, and I started
seeing cardinals everywhere andnow I have a bird feeder and I
am the bird lady now.
Like I know the bird calls forcardinals.
I go on a walk every morningand I watch cardinals play and
fly around.
It is the craziest thing andthat is me talking to him, like
(26:53):
I'm on my walk and I'm like goodmorning and thanks for sending
me blessings.
You know that today it's just,it's my grieving process of like
still feeling the connectionthat we had, and it's just
beautiful.
Like you just have to find what, like my friend and her dad, is
(27:14):
butterflies, what, like myfriend and her dad, is
butterflies.
So, whatever you feel thatconnection, just know that like
that's it, that's it, that it'snot.
That's not you going crazy,it's literally you feeling that
connection and their spiritthere and still guiding you, and
it's beautiful anyways.
(27:34):
But now what are your goals?
Going forward with yourcoaching and all of that?
Well, I'm like you.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
I enjoy the talking and empowering as well and I
have a podcast back upon thestuff.
But when all that happened, Ihad to back it up and put my
priorities where they needed tobe.
So I am good about stepping back, but I won't forget it and it
was just not the right time.
So I want to get that going andbeen working on the website,
(28:09):
doing some speaking, getting insome health and wellness stuff
and just loving myself andtaking care of myself, because
when you are an advocate andeverything for everybody else
and as a woman in general, it iseasy to put ourselves last
because we feel like we have togive everything we've got to
everybody else.
We've got to fix what we've gotto make and sometimes when we
do that, we leave nothing for us.
(28:31):
So instead of being selfish,I'm going to be self-full and
fill myself up and my kids hookme up with a massage and a
facial and I've got some stuffgoing on that I'm just pampering
myself a little bit.
That is a grief and grace timefor me, and then rejuvenate and
ready to bust it wide open.
So I am working on a book and Iwas working on that, but then I
(28:55):
got really emotional with itand emotions are great people,
but I just can only handle somuch of the time.
So, yeah, so that's still there,and when I have those moments
that I want to work on it, I do,because it's not a feast for
famine.
It's just like you, I've got astory.
There's some life lessons andlearning to turn your lessons
into blessings instead of beinga victim.
(29:16):
I think a lot of times, nomatter what we have, people have
always had it worse, and thatwhat is minor to us and us
sharing it and the things youshared make a difference for
somebody else and not makingthem feel alone, and I love that
.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, I absolutely agree with that.
So my mindset coach got this, Ibelieve, from Tony Robbins,
which I also love, but he sayslife is always happening for you
and not to you, and it's thedifference between seeing the
perspective of a victim orsomeone that has understood this
(29:50):
is something that's happeningand how is it going to happen
for me.
So what are the blessings thatcome from it and how is it going
to happen for me?
So what are the blessings thatcome from it?
And I resonate with that somuch because I had a lot of
victim mentality before, withdealing with cancer and 18 years
old and dealing with sexualassault at 16 years old and all
(30:10):
of the repercussions that camefrom it, infertility and just so
many different things.
And I could feel that thatvictim mentality in my body and
my body started when I followeda mentor called Bob Proctor for
(30:30):
many, many, many years.
I still do, but he's passed.
But he said he talks about whenthere's dis-ease in the body, it
creates disease, and that wasmy cancer, was this disease,
this dis-ease that I continuedto create in my body because I
(30:51):
could have had not healed fromthe situation that I had gone
through when I was 16.
I was still stuck in thatemotion, and so I learned how to
like, let's say, forgive myselffor all of the things that I
(31:11):
felt I could have done better ordifferent or whatever, and
forgive that person, because Itruly feel that for someone to
hurt someone in that way, theyhave to be hurting so much and
it's finding like an empathythat not that I will ever forget
(31:35):
, but I will be able to let goof that.
I tell my kids, even whensomething as silly as somebody
cuts you off, they're probablypooping in their pants and they
have to go.
So it's like flipping thatscript as to oh this jerk just
cut me off to oh, he's got to goto the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
But see the difference in laughing versus
being frustrated with it.
And one of my big words I loveto use is flawsome.
And that's pretty much whatwe're saying Learning to love
yourself, flaws and all.
And I'm like wheneversomebody's done you wrong or
talked about you, whatever youletting them harbor in here and
it causing you grief, you'restill letting them win.
(32:18):
And I tell everybody.
I said, the best revenge youwill ever have in your life on
somebody is being happy.
It's being happy because peoplecan't handle it.
They don't understand whyyou're smiling, why you're okay,
why what they're saying is notbothering you, but you know what
they don't deserve that part ofyou and it's only you that can
give it to them.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Bothering you, but you know what they don't deserve
that part of you and it's onlyyou that can give it to them.
Yeah, absolutely.
I used to get asked, which Ialways found so funny, but now I
can understand that obviouslythey were just not in the same
healing journey as I was.
But I used to get asked why Iwas so happy all the time.
What, what kind of question isthat?
(32:57):
It just, I'm like, because I'mstill alive.
I had cancer four times in mylife.
I went through a surgery wherethey had to do a blood
transfusion because they almostlost me.
I lost so much blood, theyalmost lost me, I was 28 years
old at that point.
So much blood they almost lostme.
(33:18):
I was 28 years old at thatpoint.
I was 32 when I had cancertwice that year.
I am alive.
I am here.
I'm still.
There is a reason, there is apurpose behind me still being
here.
I overcame against all odds,hence the name of the podcast.
I guess all odds.
I have overcome so many thingsin my life and I feel like that
(33:40):
in itself is something to behappy about.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Well, that was what I laughed.
I told somebody.
I said well, I've totaled threecars in my lifetime.
I walked away from every one ofthem.
I said so I still have apurpose.
He's still keeping me here fora reason Exactly.
And it's not to be a race cardriver, exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
I find again, I love that somehow or another, we kind
of people gravitate towardseach other and it is beautiful
to me that because I feel likeso much of this world needs our
happiness and not it doesn'tmean that we can't be unhappy or
we can't go through situations,but so much of the world needs
(34:26):
to know that there could becircumstances in your lives that
are not easy.
That doesn't take away from youputting a smile on your face
and loving yourself and puttingyour oxygen mask on first and
taking care of you before youtake care of everyone else.
I learned that the hard way andI learned that my health
journey was important and if Ididn't take care of myself, my
(34:52):
kids wouldn't have seen me hereanymore and instead of, at 40,
39 years old, burying their momor whatever at that age, like I
did with my dad, they would havebeen little kids 12, 11, like
that was, yeah, that was.
(35:13):
That was not okay for me, so Ineeded to learn how to love them
and still put them after me andit.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Well, we always say, like on the plane, that's the
first thing to tell you about,but we don't think it is to real
life.
But it is and it's.
So everybody does notunderstand our happiness, our
laughing, but I tell everybody.
I said I know I'm noteverybody's cup of tea, but I'm
not asking everybody to take asip either.
You know you have to do what itsays.
(35:45):
You're so on fire and makes youhappy, and sitting around the
house all sad and pathetic doesnot make me happy.
So, so therefore I'm not doingit.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Yeah, I'm not serving anything or anyone like that.
Been there, done that thatdidn't help anybody.
Yeah, I again.
I love that.
I love that this is the kind ofconversations we get to have on
a Wednesday.
I coined my Wednesdays WonderWoman Wednesday, and normally I
work out every morning so I'llhave the Wonder Woman sports bra
(36:18):
and a Wonder Woman shirt.
Yeah, because I feel like thatneeds to be celebrated.
I think that's part of lovingyourself is learning how to
celebrate yourself and be likewell, look at me and these kids,
like I have my son graduating.
That's my second childgraduating on Friday and I'm
(36:39):
like, well, damn, look, I feelgood and he's a good kid,
exactly Like there's somethingto celebrate and we don't.
I don't think we do that enough, especially as women.
I think that as women, we don'tdo that enough.
I feel like it's not that Idon't want to say easier for men
(37:01):
, but it comes more secondnature to men to praise
themselves, where we're like, ohmy God, that that looks wrong,
that we get to do that and we doso much and carry so much
weight on of everything, and Ithink that it's important that
we celebrate ourselves.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
So I celebrate you, I'll celebrate you, I'll holler
our praises all day long, yeahexactly.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
I love this so much Anything else that you feel
that's on your heart?
Speaker 3 (37:33):
My biggest thing for people is just like you said.
I tell everybody.
I said, if you want to reallyknow if you love yourself, get
up in the morning and it's goingto sound funny, but you get
dressed in the mirror and getready, or get yourself ready in
the mirror and naked for fivedays in a row.
If you don't love what you'redoing, God give you the ability
to get up to change it.
Quit whining about it.
Don't blame it on nobody else.
It's all up to you.
Quit whining about it.
(37:53):
Don't blame it on nobody else.
It's all up to you.
You've got to make the choices.
You've got to make the changesand don't make it sound like
it's a punishment.
Biggest thing, if you're ableto, I get in the kitchen with my
kids and we take the unhealthystuff and learn to make it
healthy, but enjoy it.
Yeah, but every day you get upis a chance to be a better you,
(38:17):
and if you miss it on that,shame on you.
But quit negotiating withyourself what all you do.
We are master negotiators withourself on talking ourself out
of stuff.
I've been there, done it, stilldoing on some things not on
some things, but being aware andlearning to love yourself.
Because when you do loveyourself just like talking to
you you pure shine, your smileis bright and you've got a
healthy attitude and you lookhealthy and it makes a
(38:40):
difference and that attractspeople and people love it
because we smile or say we're alittle different, so don't live
in a cookie cutter world.
We're all individually madedifferent, so quit trying to
look and compare yourself toeverybody else.
Just be the best you.
And I say healthy.
Healthy is not always the sizeof your ass, it is your insides
(39:02):
as well.
Because I would be real healthy.
So it is just giving yourself alittle bit of grace, but pushing
yourself in the process andbreaking the cycle.
I lost my parents at 61, 63 and71.
I'm not going to do that for mykids.
I'm going to stay healthy,unless some accident happens,
(39:22):
I'm going to break the cycle.
So just no matter what you'vecome from, whether it's amazing
or bad, that still doesn'talways have to be your path.
You are in charge of your path.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
So take responsibility.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Put your pants on and let's go.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Yeah, I had a podcast interview yesterday that I
interviewed this man that grewup homeless, sometimes in with
his mom in tents and hissiblings in tents and cars, when
he has a multi-million dollarportfolio.
Oh, wow, and I'm like that isamazing.
(40:01):
Yes, like that, talk about notliving in your circumstances and
instead letting thosecircumstances fuel you to become
a better you and break thatcycle.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
I totally agree.
One hundred percent, yeah.
So it's just, I just love thisso much to become a better you
and break that cycle.
I totally agree 100%.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Yeah, so it's just.
I just love this so much.
I love that this is the kind ofconversations we get to have.
I am so incredibly honored thatyou are here with us today and
truly, just I want to continueto connect.
I think that this is good.
I love this.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
But I'll give all of our listeners all of your
information on the show notes,so look out for that.
I am so incredibly grateful tohave you here today, thank you,
thank you.
Thank you so much, shannon andlisteners, I hope you got a lot
out of today, just like I did,and I hope you have an amazing
rest of your day out of today,just like I did, and I hope you
(40:58):
have an amazing rest of your day.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
Peace out, guys.
Love your life.
Bye.
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