#56 - The Truth About Aging in Place vs. Assisted Living

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We take a deep dive into the complex decision between aging in place and assisted living, exploring the realities beyond common misconceptions. This episode breaks down the emotional, financial, and practical factors that influence where seniors choose to live as they age.

• Aging in place means staying in your own home as you age, but often requires significant home modifications for safety and accessibility
• Contrary to popular belief, assisted living often preserves independence by providing just enough support while reducing isolation
• The financial comparison isn't straightforward – in-home care exceeding 40 hours weekly can cost more than assisted living's average $5,000 monthly fee
• Both options have distinct advantages in terms of familiarity, control, socialization, safety, and access to care
• Smart home technology and medical alert systems can enhance safety for those aging at home
• Hybrid solutions like co-housing and senior villages are emerging as alternatives to traditional options
• The right choice depends on individual health needs, home layout, available support, budget, and personality

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Welcome back everyone to the Aging in Place Directory
podcast, where we take deepdives into the topics that
matter to most seniors, theirfamilies and anyone passionate
about living their best life atany age.
I'm your host, robin Schiltz,and today we're going to talk
about a topic that probablycrosses every senior's mind at
some point the truth about agingin place versus assisted living

(00:56):
.
Mind at some point the truthabout aging in place versus
assisted living.
If you've ever found yourselfat a family gathering, maybe
with an aging parent, whereyou've looked around your own
home and wondered is this whereI want to grow old?
You're not alone.
Decisions about where and howwe age are never easy.
There's a lot of emotion, a lotof unknowns and a lot of advice
coming from every direction, solet's bring a little clarity to

(01:19):
the conversation.
So let's start with the basics.
What exactly does aging inplace mean?
Is it just staying home andsticking it to anyone who
suggests otherwise?
Not quite, although, hey, alittle stubbornness can go a
long way.
Aging in place means staying inyour own home or a home of your

(01:39):
choosing as you get older,instead of moving into a
different type of senior housingor care facility.
It's about maintainingindependence, comfort and
connection to the community youknow best.
But here's a question for youIs it as simple as just keeping
the status quo or does itinvolve a little more planning

(02:00):
and, let's face it, some honestself-reflection?
Spoiler alert it's definitelyself-reflection.
So let's talk about assistedliving.
This is the basics.
Contrary to the images youmight have from movies or the
dreaded old folks homestereotypes, modern assisted

(02:20):
living communities are oftenvibrant, social and packed with
more amenities than a luxurycruise ship.
All right, maybe with a littleless open water, but you get the
idea.
Assisted living facilitiesoffer private or semi-private
apartments, meals, housekeeping,social activities,
transportation and typically24-7 support with daily

(02:43):
activities like bathing,dressing and medication
management.
They're a middle ground Lessmedical than a nursing home,
more support than independentliving.
So what's the truth aboutliving in these communities as
compared to staying in your ownhome?
So let's break it down withsome real talk, real numbers and
a few real life stories.

(03:04):
We're going to talk about thetruth.
This is where we bust some myths.
So myth number one aging inplace means zero changes.
Reality check our homes areoften not designed for the
unique needs that come withaging.
Think about those 1970s sunkenliving rooms.

(03:24):
My 98-year-old aunt has one ofthose and it makes me crazy.
They were chic back then, butnow they are a hip fracture
waiting to happen.
Stairs, narrow hallways, highcabinets, slippery bathtubs
these are all architecturaladversaries.
If you want to age in placesafely, most homes require some

(03:49):
step, or several steps, towardsaccessibility.
We're talking grab bars,walk-in showers, ramps, lever
doorknobs, maybe even high-techsolutions like voice-activated
lighting or emergency monitoringsystems.
Pro tip if you are consideringthis route, bring in an
occupational therapist for ahome assessment.

(04:11):
It might save you a fortune andyour dignity down the road.
Myth number two assisted livingsteals your independence.
This is a big one.
Many folks believe moving intoassisted living means giving up
their freedom.
But here's the secret Assistedliving is about empowering

(04:34):
residents to live asindependently as possible, with
just a little or a lot, ifneeded, of backup.
Remember, independence isn'tjust about geography, it's about
capability.
If you're relying on family,friends or a string of home
health aides to get through theday, is that really more
independent than havingprofessional staff on call and a
bunch of new friends under thesame roof?

(04:55):
Having professional staff oncall and a bunch of new friends
under the same roof.
Myth number three aging in placeis cheaper.
All right, I'm going to hit youwith some numbers.
According to the Genworth Costof Care Survey in 2024, the
median cost of an assistedliving facility in the United
States is about $5,000 a month.
Meanwhile, in-home careaverages about $30 to $35 an

(05:20):
hour.
That means if you need morethan 40 hours of care a week,
costs can quickly equal or evensurpass assisted living.
Now add in home modifications,increased utility costs, meal
deliveries, housekeeping andsuddenly the scales look a
little different.
Plus, don't forget hidden costs.

(05:42):
Loneliness, isolation and fallsare medical emergencies that
can spiral into much largerexpenses.
So part four is the upsides andthe drawbacks.
We're going to break them downin a clear comparison.
So first, there's familiarity.
If you're aging in place, youkeep your home, your

(06:03):
neighborhood and your routines.
If you're in assisted living,it's a new environment but it's
often planned for aging needs.
Then there's control.
If you're aging in place, youhave more say over daily
routines and surroundings.
If you're in assisted living,you have less say in communal
schedules but fewer chores.

(06:24):
Then there's socialization.
If you're aging in place, itcan be isolating if friends and
family aren't nearby.
In assisted living, you haverich social networks, activities
and events.
Then there's safety.
If you're aging in place,higher risk is possible if the
home has not had adaptations.

(06:46):
But in assisted living you have24-7 staff.
Medical alert systems are inplace.
It's much safer.
Then there's the cost.
If you're aging in place inyour own home, it's variable.
It can be low or high dependingon your needs and your home.
But if you're in assistedliving, it's a steady cost.

(07:07):
It often covers meals, cleaningand activities.
Then there's access to care.
If you're living at home andaging in place, you can arrange
home care as needed.
If you're in assisted living,there's staff available 24-7 for
immediate help.
And then there's flexibility.

(07:28):
If you're aging in place, yourmaximum stay is as long as you
want to stay and are able tosafely stay in your own home.
In assisted living, your stayis the same, but you typically
have to meet residency and carerequirements.
So, for example, if you need ahigher level of care at some

(07:48):
point you'll likely need tochange residences.
So next we're going to talkabout the emotional side.
What does home mean?
So home isn't just a structure.
It's where we hang our memories, where we know which floorboard
creaks and where we feel safe.
For many, the pull of home isemotional as much as practical.

(08:09):
When considering aging in place, ask yourself is this really
about the home, or is it aboutmaintaining connections to
family and friends, routines,pets, neighbors.
If those connections grow thin,the home you're clinging to
might start to feel pretty empty.
Assisted living communities goto great lengths to foster

(08:31):
relationships.
Making new friends and adaptingto new surroundings does take
time and effort, though there'sno shame in feeling overwhelmed
or even grieving the transition.
Acknowledging this can make theprocess smoother, all right, so
let's share some realexperiences.
Names have been changed toprotect the innocent.

(08:53):
There's Diana.
She's 81 years old.
She's a lifelong dancer,determined to stay in her old
colonial home.
After two falls and someencouragement from her daughter,
she added grab bars andswitched to shower seats in the
bathroom.
Added grab bars and switched toshower seats in the bathroom.

(09:15):
Now she uses a Zoom app to goto her dance class twice a week
and has a neighbor check inevery morning.
She's keeping her independence,but she's more willing to
accept help than she used to be.
Then there's Carolyn, age 74,and her husband, george, age 77.
They sold their ranch house andmoved into an assisted living
community with a golf simulator.
Who knew, says George, no moreshoveling snow.

(09:38):
I thought I'd miss the house,and sometimes I do, but I've
gained friends, trivia night andhonestly, I have less stress.
And then there's Myra, age 85.
She stayed alone in her familyhome but after a medical scare
she realized her kids wereconstantly worried about her.
With their help she downsized,brought her favorite furniture

(09:59):
and her dog into a nearbyassisted living residence.
It's not the same as my oldhouse, she said, but I feel
safer.
And Buster has more new friendsthan I did, and made them in
just one week.
So next are the factors toconsider.
If you or your loved one areweighing options, what should
you think about?

(10:20):
Well, you want to think aboutcurrent health.
Are chronic illnesses ormobility issues emerging?
How about cognitive health?
Are there memory changes,medication management struggles?
What about the home layout?
Are there stairs to go up anddown, narrow doors, inaccessible
showers?
How about available support?

(10:42):
Is family or help nearby, orare you often alone?
How about budget?
What can you afford now?
And what can you afford if yourcare needs increase?
And then there's personality?
Are you a people, person or doyou cherish your solitude?
And then future needs?
Can the choice you make nowadapt as things change.

(11:04):
Write it all down.
There's no one-size-fits-allanswer, but an honest look at
these things will clarify yourpriorities.
Next is the role of technology.
These days, smart hometechnology can make aging in
place a lot safer and easier.
We're talking motion sensorlights, voice assistants like

(11:25):
Alexa, fall detection systemsand medical alert wearables.
Fall detection systems andmedical alert wearables.
You don't need to turn yourhouse into the set of Star Trek,
but a few tweaks here and therecan boost both independence and
peace of mind.
Assisted living facilities arealso investing in tech, like
tablet classes, virtual doctorvisits, even robotic pets.
So if you're a gadget lover,you'll find plenty of options

(11:48):
either way.
Next, we'll talk about hybridsolutions in the future.
The world of aging is not allor nothing.
Many families are now exploringhybrid solutions, maybe
starting with part-time care athome and then trying out
short-term assisted living orrespite care before deciding.
There's also a rise inco-housing in senior villages,

(12:10):
where groups of neighbors bandtogether to support each other
with shared chores and socialactivities.
The future of aging isn't aboutchoosing one box and locking
yourself in.
It's about flexibility, dignityand quality of life.
So what is your truth?
Here's the deal.
The right answer is deeplypersonal.

(12:31):
Aging in place can be empowering, but only if your home actually
supports you rather thanhinders you.
Assisted living can open newdoors, but only if you're able
and ready to step through them.
Ask yourself what do I need tofeel safe and happy?
Where do I feel most alive?
Who needs to be in my corner asI grow older and remember?

(12:52):
Changing your mind is allowed.
What works at age 70 might notwork at age 80.
The truth about aging in placeversus assisted living is that
both can be wonderful orchallenging, depending on the
person, the planning and thewillingness to adapt.
So that's it for today'sepisode of the Aging in Place
Directory podcast.

(13:13):
I hope this has helped shine alight on the real issues and
options without sugarcoating thetough stuff.
Please remember to share ourpodcast episode today if
somebody you know could benefitfrom it, and don't forget to
subscribe to our channel.
And remember, wherever youchoose to age, the key is to do
it with intention, support and adash of adventure.

(13:36):
So stay safe, stay curious anduntil next time, take care.
Bye-bye.