#71 - From “What Now?” to Purpose: Planning, Movement, and Mindset for a Fulfilling Retirement

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What if the most meaningful years aren’t behind you—but waiting for you to design them? We sit down with nationally recognized therapist and author Faust Ruggiero to reframe retirement from a vague “end” into a focused, energizing next chapter. Instead of chasing a perfect plan, we explore how tiny, consistent actions—moving daily, learning a skill, joining a group—unlock purpose, community, and confidence.

Faust shares a clear framework: pair one steady long-term goal with a few short-term goals, each backed by concrete action steps. That grid keeps you moving without overwhelm and aligns with how the brain actually changes: repetition over time. We dig into “I over E”—intellect over emotion—to help you pause, think, and respond rather than react. You’ll hear how teaching what you know accelerates your own growth, why comparison is a trap, and how giving back restores a powerful sense of being needed.

We get practical about the pillars that make everything else possible: exercise you’ll stick to, consistent sleep, simple nutrition, and a daily schedule that respects your energy. We also talk about tech and AI from a senior vantage point—why you don’t need to “keep up” to be valuable, and how your lived experience creates a niche younger generations can’t fill. From turning a yoga habit into a class to building a second career around your hard-won skills, this conversation offers concrete steps to make the next decade the most intentional one yet.

If this resonates, subscribe for more grounded strategies on purpose, health, and aging well. Share the episode with someone planning retirement, and leave a review to tell us the one small step you’ll take this week.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:32):
Hello everyone.
Welcome to the Senior SafetyAdvice Podcast, Aging in Place
Directory Podcast, or theYouTube channels for either one
of those.
Wherever you're watching this orlistening to this, welcome.
I'm Esther Kane, retiredoccupational therapist, aging in
place specialist, and certifieddementia care specialist.

(00:56):
And before we begin thisinterview, I want to take a
quick moment for an introductionand a small apology as well.
So today I had the pleasure ofspeaking with Faust Ruggiero,
and he is a nationally known andrecognized therapist,

(01:20):
researcher, and an author of sixbooks.
I have all six right here.
Check them out on Amazon.
Just look for Faust Ruggero.
It's R-U-G-G-I-E-R-O.
Very Italian name.

(01:42):
He is the creator of the ProcessWay of Life, which is an
empowering framework that heuses to help people find
emotional balance and to livewith purpose.
And his career has spanned over40 years in in just about every

(02:03):
setting, in clinical, incorporate, and even in
correctional settings.
He is he covers his books are inthe fixed yourself empowerment
series, is what he calls thesesix books, and they cover
everything from anxiety,depression, relationships,

(02:27):
aging, addiction, and and more.
So you'll see, you know, youI'll have links to them in the
show notes for the podcast andin the description for the
YouTube channels, but I doencourage you to go on to
Amazon, to go onto his websiteat faustruggero.com.

(02:49):
I'll have a link to that aswell.
Now, a quick confession beforewe jump into the actual
interview.

(03:28):
So I wanted to do this video tointroduce him properly and to
you know let you know of hiscredentials and the amazing work
that he's done.
And when you see the interview,you'll see the passion coming
through about his work becausehe doesn't just talk about it,

(03:50):
he also lives it.
And I think that says a lot, youknow.
People can talk, can sayanything they want, but it's
what they do that really tellsthe story.
So even with that little hiccupof not hitting the record
button, this conversation wasfull of incredible insights and

(04:10):
about you know emotionalwellness and self-growth,
self-gratitude, and living,truly living a meaningful life,
which is so important for all ofus no matter what age.
Now, because the because I am inthe senior niche, let's say, you
know, that is my that's my jam.
Um I wanted to focus on or Ifocused on many of the questions

(04:35):
on retirement and how to adjustin the process, uh, you know,
how to plan for retirement, howto adjust through the process of
retirement.
I don't know about you, but somany of my friends have recently
retired and they seem a littlelost.
They're having a very difficulttime adjusting to this new

(04:55):
pattern of life.
But Faust, you know, explainsvery well what needs to be done
in order to make that a smoothtransition, a purposeful, uh,
you know, to lead a morepurposeful and just really an
amazing life in the next 20, 30,40 years that you have in

(05:17):
retirement.
So, without further ado, here'smy interview with Mr.
Faust Ruggero.
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (05:26):
And that's what we want to do.
We want to be able to say, thisis my new life.
I get to do what I want to do,and I'm going to go do that.
Sometimes there are limitations.
Maybe we're caring for someoneelse, or or we have some things
we need to do, but we certainlycan be able to say, yeah, it's
my time now, and I want to chasesome of those dreams.

SPEAKER_00 (05:49):
Exactly.
Um, but I find from most of myfriends is that they are not
sure what their dreams are.

SPEAKER_02 (05:57):
Well, you know what?
People will say that to me, andand uh and you don't have to
know.
The the key is just to stayactive.
Be active.
What you don't want to do issay, all right, you know, I'm
retired, I'm gonna take sometime off, I'm gonna get up at 10
o'clock in the morning, I'mgoing to watch some television
or movies, maybe I'll go on awalk or something.

(06:20):
You know, the key is to stayactive, doing anything.
If you do that, your mind staysengaged, your body can continue,
everything continues to flow,and then plugging into
something, it will happen.
You'll you're you you will youwant to do something?
The routine will get old andyou'll want to do something.

unknown (06:39):
It's true.

SPEAKER_00 (06:41):
I've had several friends who've retired, and
after two, three months, theythey're antsy, they don't quite
know what to do, or they theyseem quite depressed, you know,
they're um haven't adjusted.
So, how important do you thinkthe whole concept of planning,
you know, not waiting for it tohappen, but planning for it to

(07:05):
happen?

SPEAKER_02 (07:06):
You know, I do uh employee assistance program for
corporations and and when peopleare getting ready to retire, I
always uh we always ask thepeople to come and see me for a
session or two, exit interviews,if you will.
And that's the first question.
I say, okay, fine.
First of all, it's twoquestions.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
Really want to do this.

(07:26):
Uh and that doesn't mean do Ilike my supervisor or do I like
getting up?
Do you still are you at a pointwhere you're done?
I don't want to do this workanymore.
If the answer is yes, the secondquestion is always, okay, what's
your plan?
Yeah.
And you don't have to have theplan that that becomes active
tomorrow.
It's a plan.
You may say, I'm gonna take acouple months off.

(07:48):
God bless you, go do it.
But then have the next step.
Where are you going next?

SPEAKER_01 (07:55):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (07:56):
And and that's not something you plan in the last
month before you retire.
You that should be something ayear ahead of time you're
starting to flow into, and youstart to create the foundation
for that.
And if you haven't done that,then that's okay.
Get active, exercise, get uh besocially active if you can uh

(08:17):
read, uh, do things to engageyour mind.
Everything will can follow fromthat point, but don't get
sedentary.
That's the key.

SPEAKER_00 (08:26):
Absolutely, absolutely.
I think learning, um learningsomething new is a very
important factor.
Do you find that most peoplejust shy away from that?
They're you know, they don'twant to do that.

SPEAKER_02 (08:39):
Some people do, you know.
We're not a species that loveschange.
And I always tell people, itdoesn't have to be a big change,
make it a small change.
But uh by all means, the newthings are fun.
You know, I uh when I hit my60s, I said, Am I gonna write a
book now?
Well, I said, Yeah, I'm gonnatry this.
And before I did that, I didn'tjust get in and you know hit the

(09:02):
computer and and and startrunning.
I knew basically what I wantedto write about.
Then I took about almost a yearand I really uh learned the
publishing industry first.
So there was my first step.
I didn't have to step right inand write.
Uh I again I knew what I wantedto write, but let me learn about
formats and agents andpublicists and publishing houses

(09:26):
and all the various things youneed to do so that when I
started, I didn't getoverwhelmed and say, Oh my god,
I didn't know about this.
So I did that.
Now writing the book was mucheasier.
I talked to people who hadwritten, I talked to the pros
who help people.
There are people that helppeople get into the into the uh

(09:46):
the whole business of writing.
So I needed to learn how to uhgo from a good writer to a
writer for publication.
That's a very different concept.
So once I did that, and ifyou're in retirement and
financially you're okay, maybeyou have a pension or you have
your social security or what itmay be, you know, you were gonna
spend that time doing nothinganyway.

(10:08):
So no, why not spend itlearning?
Go to a community college, goonline, take courses, right?
Do you know you can take acourse in doing something and
learn that within six months,and before you know it, you're
now doing something that you'vealways wanted to do.
And you're and you're gettingpaid to do it because you've
earned that money.

SPEAKER_00 (10:28):
That's right.
That's right.
And now I think, you know, withso much online, you know, it
doesn't matter where you live.
You could be in a rural area,you could be in a college town.
I mean, I get it.
I understand going to to a uhcollege, be it a community
college or stakeholders,whatever.
I mean, I get it.
You know, you're in theenvironment and that's that's

(10:49):
amazing, but you can't always dothat.
And not every class or everylecture or what a topic is going
to be taught in your physicalarea.
But I love the idea of justfinding anything online, which
you can these days, but thentaking that information.
I find some friends are very biginto um self-help books or

(11:14):
anything like that.
And those are great.
I mean, I'm I'm a big advocateof those.
I call them the counselor on theshelf, and I think that they're
great, but it's one thing to sitand read them, but it's another
thing to take the next step andactually do them.

SPEAKER_02 (11:31):
And you know, when I when I started writing, I again
one of the things I did was aliterature review, and I said,
look at all this fantasticinformation, and it's there's a
ton of it.
And then I said, just what youwere alluding to, it doesn't
tell anyone what to do with it.
I know.
So there was the niche.
So all my books are written assmall chapters, seven or eight

(11:53):
pages, and then there are a halfa dozen action steps.
Okay, we're covering thisproblem, you need to do this.
That's what people come back andsay, finally, someone said,
here's the information.
It wasn't presented in 30 or 40or 50 pages, and then went on to
the next chapter.
It was seven or eight pages.

(12:15):
I got the facts condensed, Iunderstood it.
Now you said, do these things.

SPEAKER_00 (12:21):
Beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 (12:22):
You know, and I get a and I and you know, when we
published, I said, Well, what'syour what's your target
audience?
And I really didn't want to haveone because books are written
for anyone.
Um uh and but they said it'llprobably be women, and they'll
be between oh 25 and 40.
If I can tell you how manyseniors read my books, they
weren't supposed to, and notonly women, men.

(12:44):
I love it.
Men and women together arereading things because uh, you
know, it's it's it's all thetopics that we go through every
day, right?
You know, you know how many ofus as as seniors didn't set our
boundaries too well with ourkids, for example, and now we're
paying the price.
Well, there's boundary settingchapters and how to defend

(13:05):
those, you know.
So, you know, it it's it's a wenow have the time to do what we
want to do, right?
But you have to define what itis.
And the other thing, realimportant thing is so we're
older, made of spakes or painsor whatever.
Don't surrender to that.
Don't don't surrender to I'm I'mweaker now, or I'm not as smart,

(13:27):
or I can't keep up.
Don't go there, right?
So it's the old thing that wherethe old man knocks at the door
and we're locking them out.
Uh that's not who we are.
We are not old people who arefinished living.
We are people who ended acareer, are a little older and
wiser, and we have the mentalpower to move forward and be as

(13:49):
powerful as we want to be.
We have to do it though.
We have to believe in ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 (13:54):
Exactly.
I mean, mindset is so important,so important.
And uh I think I think you'reabsolutely right.
I love that the chapters aresmall.
I love that there's the actionsteps.
And I think that to, I mean,personally, I think taking that
information, and like you said,we're older, we're wiser, we're

(14:15):
more comfortable with ourselves,you know, we're not so concerned
about, I mean, hopefully whatothers think or others do.
We're in our zone.
We're in our and it's it's abeautiful thing, really.
I I love it.
But I think taking thatinformation and like you're
doing the next step, teachingit, you know, because you learn

(14:40):
so much when you teach.
And I don't care if it'sconsulting or volunteering,
speaking to support groups, um,or you know, uh in you know, um,
being a guest at a collegeclass, I I don't care, whatever
it is, take that skill, all thatyou've learned, be it with
family life, be it with work, beit whatever, and teach it.

(15:04):
Because not only does that bringin the socialization factor, but
I think it also gives you knowyou a goal and it it forces you
in a way to learn more, um, toengage more, to um, and look, we
all learn from the students thatwe teach, right?

SPEAKER_02 (15:23):
We do we should.

SPEAKER_00 (15:24):
Yeah, probably we should.
You're right.
You're right.
But I I love that that concept,and I try very hard to tell that
to my um, you know, share thatwith my friends and family.
But I find it interesting.
I find the men are more akin tothat, and the women are I don't

(15:48):
know, you know, they want to domore of the social things.

SPEAKER_02 (15:51):
Our generation is still, you know, role-oriented.
So a lot of times women wouldtake a second seat, and I always
tell them, you don't need to dothat.
I have a woman that came in anduh retires at the age of 65 from
a sewing factory.
So really her job was to get upevery day.
She took care of her home, twokids, her husband, wonderful
family.

(16:11):
Uh, and uh, but she said, Well,what do I have to offer?
You know, I was domestic, I washome, I went to the factory, I
didn't make a lot of money, butit helped us, you know, to get
by.
What do I have to offer?
I said, Are there do you haveany hobbies?
Well, she said, uh just two.
Um, sewing and and yoga.
She was doing started the yoga.
I said, Well, yoga, let's takeyoga for example.

(16:35):
Uh you learned it.
Do you are you're pretty good?
Well, I've been doing it forfour or five years, yeah.
I said, Have you thought abouttaking classes to become an
instructor?
I don't know how good I am withpeople.
I said, Do you go to theclasses?
Yes.
Seven or eight women there,probably.
Yeah, and a few guys.
Okay.
Do you participate?

(16:55):
Yes.
Do you talk?
Yeah.
Every now and then you take alittle bit of the spotlight.
Yeah.
I said, well, the training helpsyou to take more of the
spotlight.
She now has was hired by this uhinstructor that she uh was
taking classes from to do aclass, one class a week.

(17:17):
She loved it.
She's now taken her secondclass.
Having that second class, she'sjust doing the same thing she
was always doing.
She expanded the role and theand the change.
That little risk was I'm gonnabe in front of the class,
telling them to do the things welearned how to do anyway.
Right.
And so now she's going back tobecome more advanced in the

(17:40):
program.
And uh she's now had an offerbecause the woman uh was
teaching the class, was gettingready to retire.
She said, Well, I don't know ifI want to retire.
Are you interested in cominginto the business with me?
So now we have the 66-year-oldwoman who was saying, you know,
it's not she there's not much ofa buy-in.
She rents the place, it's justgonna be her and I doing some

(18:02):
things.
I have to put a little money into cover expenses, and we're
gonna have our business andwe're gonna keep going.
Now domestic worked in afactory, high school education,
wasn't someone who thought shecould go out and influence
anyone, and you know, you're ayoga teacher, not just teaching

(18:23):
those moves, there's aphilosophy, there's a a whole uh
mental and spiritual part ofthat, if you want to get into
it.
Now she's advising just a littlebit.

SPEAKER_00 (18:34):
Well, she's changing lives, so she's expanding, she's
expanding.
Expanding that one skill intointo others, yeah, diversifying
and expanding, and it is amazingto me how one thing can lead to
another, lead to another, and soon, if you're open to it, you
know.
I think there's opportunitiesaround us all the time, and we

(18:58):
just have to be open to it.
And like you said before, I Iknow that people are
traditionally not um, you know,they they don't like change.
That's that's true.
Um, but at the same time, lifeis change.
That's all it is.
It never stops, it never stops,it's constant.

(19:20):
And I think learning to acceptthat.
Is that do you think that that'sthe basis of a happy life
throughout life?
It is accepting that change.

SPEAKER_02 (19:32):
What happens with people is they get overwhelmed
because they think of this iswhere I am, that's where I have
to be.
Look at the the big change Ihave to make.
And I keep telling people thereis no such thing as change,
unless you're traumatized.
There's nothing, there's nochange that occurs in leaps and
bounds.
It's small incrementalmovements.

(19:53):
Don't plan the goal.
That's your goal.
Plan your action steps one afteranother.
But first, I need to do this,then I need to do this.
I mean, that's the way we setgoals up.
I I was telling you that when Iuh decided to write, I didn't
jump right into a book.
Many, many people have.
My my incremental forwardmovement, those little steps

(20:15):
were learning the business,learning what I had to do,
getting the proper computerprograms, etc.
All those things, when it wastime, I cut a lot of the work
out.
So if you're gonna move forward,just think of the steps.
Set a goal for today.
I'm gonna do this today.
When tomorrow comes, well, I'lldo this for my program today.

(20:36):
You know, you mentioned uh I'mthe most interviewed self-help
author.
I'm seven, I'm gonna be 71.
You know, what?
You look amazing.
Well, thank you.
But you know, that's whathappens when you stay engaged,
right?
And another thing I tell uhseniors is please don't just
sit.
Exercise.
Yes, go to a YMCA or a club oreven get some things in your

(21:00):
house.
You're talking a half hour aday, right?
And I know a retired person hasa half an hour a day.

SPEAKER_00 (21:08):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (21:08):
Get your body healthy.
So when you get up and your mindwants to plug in, your body's
coming along with you.

SPEAKER_00 (21:14):
Yeah, yeah.
Movement is so important.

SPEAKER_02 (21:17):
It is.

SPEAKER_00 (21:18):
You know, um, I myself, after my husband passed
away, I moved into a communitythat's very walkable.
So every day I can walk to thepark, I can walk to the shops, I
can walk, you know, it's verywalkable.
So every day it's 30 to 60minutes of getting out and
walking, and and and you know,on top of everything else, on

(21:38):
top of all the usual householdmovement kind of things.

SPEAKER_02 (21:41):
But but yeah, what you're doing should inspire
people.
Your husband has passed away.
Many women would say, Okay,well, no, I have to get a little
place where I'm gonna go livewith so-and-so, or what and
they're not they're not doingthe next step.
Yeah, you should be it, you'rean inspiration.
They should look and say, Lookwhat Esther's doing.
Her husband passed, she retired,and she's got this whole new

(22:03):
career.
And it isn't that people likeyou and I are uh people that are
doing what we're doing, haveanything more than any of the
rest of us.

SPEAKER_01 (22:11):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (22:11):
We just decided to do it.
That's all.
That was the first decision.
I'm not sitting, I am going todo something.
I am going to say, I could bearound 20 more years.
Well, you know, what do I wantthat to look like?
Do I want to get up and watchtelevision?
What's on television?

SPEAKER_00 (22:30):
You know, right.
Well, it's working backwards.
You know, you have the goal andnow you work backwards.
I have a friend of mine whosegoal was to retire and to be on
a board, you know, of a company,nonprofit kind of thing,
whatever.
That's his goal.
So he knew that in order to dothat successfully, he needed to
be a CEO of something.

(22:52):
In order to be a CEO, he neededto be a VP.
In order to be a VP, he neededto be head of whatever
department.
And he, you know, he started offin marketing and he just
progressed because he had thisgoal, this final goal, and he
took those steps, but he wentbackwards.
You know, what could what do Ineed to do to get to this?
And every he was amazing.

(23:14):
Well, he is amazing.
Every January he would reviewthose steps and those goals.
What was he able to do?
What couldn't he do?
What's the next thing if he hadto change something?
And sure enough, he made it,became CEO, uh company, and now
he's retired and he's working ontwo boards.

SPEAKER_02 (23:32):
And that's the way it works, right?
Or right, you you look at it andsay, okay, what did I have to
do?
And but the next step in thatprocess is to look and say,
okay, this is how they did that,or maybe even I did some of it.
That they they were back thereand they wanted to come forward.
Here are all the steps.
Well I use that philosophy now.
I'm not looking at a you know a40-year career.

(23:55):
I might be talking about thenext 10 years.
What do I want to do now?
What are those little steps Ihave to make?
I'm gonna do this now.

SPEAKER_01 (24:02):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (24:02):
It doesn't matter.
You're not, we're not conqueringthe world, we're just embracing
our own.
That's all.
That's what we're doing.

SPEAKER_00 (24:08):
Right.
Even with exercise, you know, ifyou're not a very um active
person, you know, start off withum, you know, 20 steps.
And you know, you know, nextweek you're gonna do 40 steps,
and then so on and so on, youknow, whatever it is, you know,
whatever number you can you giveit.
But the point is to your goal isuh 10,000 steps, then go

(24:31):
backwards and start workingtowards there.
And plus that also gives you atimeline.
It does, you know, then youknow, three months, four months,
I'll be there kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 (24:41):
In the first book, the the Fix Yourself Handbook, I
actually do a chapter on goalsetting, and I uh and and and
actually actually had seniors inmind when I wrote it because you
know I I tell them you have tohave a long-term goal that stays
constant pretty much.
Then you have a few short-termgoals.
Two or three of those.

(25:02):
Those help you get to thelong-term goal.
Under every short-term goal arethree action steps.
So now, if you do that, the neatthing about the program is, and
you actually set up your grid.
It I showed them how to set up agrid so they can write it down.
Because we seniors like to writethings down.
So you write it down.
Well, when I I I accomplish thataction step, I'll replace it

(25:25):
with another one.
So I keep it going.
And if you look from top tobottom, it says, There's my
goal, maybe to to be that umthat instructor, that yoga
instructor.
Well, here's what I have to do.
That's my long-term goal.
Well, what do I have to do?
Maybe I have to uh uh take acourse in in communication.
I have to take another course inin my program, and then under

(25:47):
those are action steps.
Maybe I need to I need to raisesome money to do that, maybe I
need to uh upgrade my computerto do that.
Uh what now, those are youraction steps, and it and your
action steps are the only thingyou're really focusing on,
right?
You know, if you do the actionsteps and you keep consistent
with those, you get to thelong-term goal.

(26:07):
You can't miss as long as youstay consistent.
Right.
It's a very simple program.
And I teach that when I counsel,and they say, This is
ridiculous.
It's easy.
How come no one else?
I don't know why no one elsetaught it.
It's really very simple.
It's what I use every day, youknow, and and I'm one that I
might have two or threelong-term goals, but that's me.

SPEAKER_01 (26:29):
Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 (26:30):
If you have one and you're working it, and you have
your short-term goals and youraction steps, it's so easy to
do.
So you're not plugging into along-term goal that's
overwhelming.
You're plugging into yourshort-term goal.
The other thing about, and it'sa huge piece of advice for
seniors, is do not compareyourself to anyone else.

SPEAKER_00 (26:52):
Oh, so true.

SPEAKER_02 (26:53):
You're absolutely down.
The very fact that you chose tocompare yourself, you already
started by saying, I don'tmeasure up.
Don't do that.
It's their program is theirprogram.
You set yours, right?
You compare to no one.
If you don't know something andyou need to ask for advice, by
all means go ask for advice ifyou know someone knows who knows

(27:15):
it, or you can get it online.
But never envy and nevercompare.
You it's it's it's it's it's ashot.
You'll kill yourself with it.
It's a wormhole, you don't wantto go down.
It's true.
We have to consider ourselvesworthy, we have to consider
ourselves intelligent, capablepeople, and we have decades of

(27:36):
experience that young peopledon't have.
They have energy and they'rebouncing off the walls with it.
We don't have to do that, right?
We know where the pitfalls are,and we go out and we and we are
intelligent people.

SPEAKER_00 (27:49):
That's how I I'm sorry.
I worry about that with theyounger people because they're
so tied into Instagram andTikTok and comparing themselves
with the influencers, be it realor fake or whatever, out there.
And I wonder if they're going tobe able to get out of that think
think thinking the way theythink.

SPEAKER_02 (28:09):
Uh they will.
We talk about the worldevolving.
You know, I remember uh mygrandparents looking at us and
saying, My God, you this isgoing so fast, and with a
snail's pace compared to the wayit changes today, and with AI
coming in, they're just going toplug in and go faster and
faster.
And that's just the way it is.

(28:29):
That's them.
And the neat thing about it,people say, Oh my god, I can't
catch up with that.
We're not supposed to.
They left the niche that we nowhave.
We actually have more room to dothings because even the
40-year-olds, they're out doingall that stuff.
Computers have been with us forover 30, 35 years, whatever it
is now, you know.

(28:50):
So they're in that we have aniche that has been vacated in
all the world to maneuver in theworld if we just decide to stay
active.

SPEAKER_00 (29:00):
Exactly.
Exactly.
I mean, what we can contributeto these changes, I think, is
it's huge.
It is it's huge.

SPEAKER_02 (29:08):
We have the history.
We we we have the understandingand the knowledge to move
forward.
And the bottom line is the onlytime you are no longer in the
game is when you quit.
So if you never quit, you're in.
And so what?
Go make mistakes.
The other thing I tell people,you're going to make mistakes.
That doesn't mean you're notintelligent or you can't do it.
That means you're active.

(29:29):
Active people make mistakes.

SPEAKER_00 (29:31):
Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 (29:31):
People that aren't active don't make any mistakes,
they don't go anywhere either.
And then you like you said,anxiety and depression and and
loneliness, that all sets in.
Be active, make mistakes.
And when you make the mistakes,say, okay, let's go figure out
where I where I went wrong hereand pick myself up and go again.

SPEAKER_00 (29:49):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (29:50):
Every day.

SPEAKER_00 (29:51):
It's never what happens to you, it's how you
react to it.
That's right.
That's right.
Yeah, absolutely.
Do you think AI will change howretirement happens or what
people do in retirement?

SPEAKER_02 (30:04):
I don't think it's going to change us too much.
Um, because it really um it'sfor the people, it's for the
world as it's moving forward.
It's um, you know, they'llthey'll look at us, and I I'm
very comfortable with themsaying, Oh, you're dinosaurs, so
that's just fine.
I don't have a problem withthat.
That's your opinion of mewithout looking any deeper, and

(30:24):
I'm okay with that.
Uh, it's good, it's good, it'sgonna be a young person's game.
Those of us that are, you know,in in this life bracket, if you
will.
So it'll affect us somewhat.
But not as much as it's going totouch their lives.
They're in the thick of it now.

SPEAKER_00 (30:41):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (30:41):
And they're and the key is they're embracing it.
If everyone stopped embracingAI, it would go away because no
one would use it.
That's true.
Okay.
They're embracing it, they loveit.
Plus, this whole uh informationway of living life and all the
fast-paced, it's addictive tothem, so they can't stop.
Right.
We're not in that addiction.

SPEAKER_01 (31:01):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (31:02):
We're not involved in that.
So we have, we actually havemore freedom than they do.

SPEAKER_00 (31:07):
Well, we can take the information, we can reflect
on that information and use ourexperience, you know, as older.
We've been through so much ofthem.
My sister and I, she's nineyears older than me, and we were
talking about that, you know,what life was like in the 60s,
how change was happening then,and how change is happening now.
And, you know, we werecomparing, you know, issues and

(31:30):
and how things happen.
I mean, obviously, as you said,now it's so much faster.
And it is an addiction at thispoint.
It really is.
So many friends.
I mean, how many times do you goout to a restaurant and you see
three, four people at a tableand they're not talking to each
other?
Everybody's on a phone, whichyou I don't even understand.

SPEAKER_02 (31:50):
But um we've we've mastered the skill of slowing
down.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
So we and when you slow down,you pause, that gives you a
chance to look and say, let melook at everything going on.
And then you pick and choosewhat you want to go into and
what you don't.
And as you say, we've made themistakes, we we have been

(32:12):
through the grind.
So, you know, we know where thelandmines are.
We're not going to step on that.
Right.
When it gets too fast, the youngpeople are accelerating their
bodies.
This this accelerant, that thatcaffeine product, whatever it
may be.
And when we start to getaccelerated, we say, We got to a

(32:32):
threshold, we need to back upnow and rethink.

unknown (32:36):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (32:37):
That's an advantage that part of the world doesn't
have.
We have that.
They need us.
And that's the other part I tellwe're not archaic.
This world needs us.
We have to embrace that concept.
When they when we realize howmuch they need us, we become
important to ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 (32:57):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And look, there's 10,000 pluspeople a day turning 65 until
2030, and then the nextgeneration picks it up.
So, you know, using thatknowledge base, using the skills
and everything that thatdemographic has to offer just

(33:17):
makes sense.
It just makes common sense, butit only makes common sense, I
think, if, as you say, you stop,you listen, and you observe.
And you actually take the timeto stop, listen, and observe
versus constantly being fedwhatever it is that you're being
fed.

SPEAKER_02 (33:37):
And you know, and they're being fed at at such a
fast pace that they don't takesome time and become critical
thinkers about what they'rewhat's coming in.
They just, I mean, you can go onsocial media, they're they're
going at each other with angerand aggression, and they just
follow along.
They're not even people came inand they talked about
influencers.
And I said, Well, who's theinfluencer you're following?

(34:00):
Yeah.
And they didn't know.
And I said, Well, what exactlyis the end game?
And they didn't know.
I said, Then why are youfollowing?
It's sort of like, you know,you're following someone leading
the parade, and you don't knowwhere the parade's going.
Somewhere along the line, youhave to say, Let me slow it all
down and make some decisions.
And the other thing they're notgood at that we're very good at

(34:22):
is getting information.
Yeah.
They go fast and we say, wait aminute, okay, that was posted
there.
Uh this is a routine for me.
If I see something posted onFacebook, what now I go and I do
a search.
Is this really happening?
Right.
Nine out of ten times it isn't,but they're all following that.

SPEAKER_00 (34:39):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (34:40):
We don't.
We have we have the humility tokeep on learning, and we have
the wisdom of the years.
And you put that all together,we make sound judgments.
We are still able to control ahuge part of the program, but we
can't take a step back becausewe think we can't.

SPEAKER_00 (35:01):
Right.
I mean, I think criticalthinking and analytical thinking
are two skills that um youngeradults or maybe the education
system, or I don't know, is justnot being taught or not being
encouraged, or not, I don't, Idon't know.

SPEAKER_02 (35:19):
When I was in college, we we called ourselves,
you know, the the uh the moreenlightened age, we would listen
to everything, you know, and umuh and but but they but they
presented all different signs.
When I talk to students comingout of college now, you know
where the professor stands, andthat's what the professor
teaches, but they don't teachthat one.

(35:41):
So we there's this divisionalkinds of thing, you know, left
over right versus right,whatever you want to call it.
Yeah, whatever, right?
And you know news sources thesame way.
Growing up, you know that thejournalists presented the facts,
and then we made up our mind.
They don't do that anymore, theyprepare the dialogue that leads

(36:01):
in a particular direction.
So these people are all beingled.
Uh, you know, and and the morethat happens, the less you
think.
You allow your you give yourmind over to someone else.

SPEAKER_00 (36:14):
So exactly.
And it's gonna be interesting tosee how that this generation,
the younger generation, convertsover when it's time for their
retirement.
You know, it's gonna be veryinteresting to see that
transition.
I I I hope I live long enough tosee that.
Um I think yeah, I think we'rein a great uh time, you know.

(36:36):
I mean, it it is scary becausechange is so fast and things are
happening so fast, you know,every in every which way,
economic, uh, political, uh,technology, it's like everything
is just happening all at once,it seems like.
But at the same time, as yousay, if you can, if you can um
connect into that, if you canstep into that a little bit with

(36:59):
the skills that you have, thenit's not so scary.
It's not so overwhelming if youput it into bite-sized pieces,
you know, like atomic habits,you know, that book Atomic
Habits broke everything downinto tiny pieces and it made it
more manageable and not asoverwhelming and frightening.

SPEAKER_02 (37:20):
And that's the way we we have to approach things.
The other thing is we have to bewilling to do the work.
Our generation was taught thisis how you do it.
And by the time we were 16 or17, they expected us to be
grabbing that.
18, we could be leaving thehouse, and you know they're home
till the in their 30s.

(37:42):
You know, um, because they'rejust not capable, and they blame
it on the economy, or they blameit on this.
It's it's everything outside ofthemselves that that's the
problem.
And we didn't do that.
We looked at it and said, okay,this is what I have to do, and I
need to go out and do it.
We we were willing, uh, youknow, to get in there, get in
the mud, so to speak, and andand and do what we had to do.

(38:05):
They're picking and choosing,and and they believe they're
entitled to some things.
Yeah, we don't and again, that'swhy I say we're so important.
We don't have that entitlementthing.
We're still willing to work.
Yeah, we just have to have aplan, a decision that, yeah, I'm
gonna do something.
Now let me get a plan.
Doesn't have to be anythingthat's uh world uh world

(38:27):
shattering, just a plan.
Get up every day, and at the endof the day, when I lay my head
down, I say, okay, this was agood day.
I was happy, uh, did some nicethings, accomplished some things
that I felt were good about, andI had that little plan that I'm
working on, and I did somethings with it.
If you can say that inretirement, you're in a great
place.

SPEAKER_00 (38:47):
It's true.
That is very true.
If you can say that every day,you're in a great place.
Do you think companies willchange how they look at older um
employees?

SPEAKER_02 (38:58):
I think they already are.
The young people are sounwilling to work.
I, you know, I have a lot ofcompanies that I work with that,
first of all, people are stayinglonger.
Uh, you know, that they're, Imean, you know, before I
remember in in my parents' age,you would retire, maybe you were
60.
You were good, you were done.
Uh, Social Security has beenpushed back to at least 62, but

(39:19):
full to 67.
Uh, so you know, they're lookingat those numbers, but then
they're also realizing that, youknow what, I can still go.
We're healthier, we're uh thanthe previous generation.
Uh and we are still plugged in,you know, and and wanting to do
things.
Absolutely.
I just think we we just have togo, just get get down, get in

(39:42):
the get in the mix and go.
Do it every day.
I get up every day with a littleplan.
I may even write it down the daybefore.
I've got five or five or sixthings I'm going to do tomorrow.
My I write it down on a littlepiece of paper, and as I get
them, as I do them, I scratchthem off.
At the end of the day, I havetwo minutes, three minutes of
review time in my own mindbefore I go to bed.

(40:03):
And I say, okay, how did I dotoday?
And I don't have to conquer theworld, as I say, but I had that
list.
Some of those things are justmundane things.
I had to go out and, you know,it's we're shutting things down
here in the northeast.
So I had to get some things doneoutside.
Some of them will be in myprogram.
I'm doing a podcast today.
I'm doing uh, I have to writesomething for an uh a magazine

(40:26):
article.
I have those things that I'mgetting ready.
At the end of the day, I say,okay, did I have time for
myself?
Did I relax?
But that I engage, that I dothose things, and that process
keeps me plugged in.
That's what I want to do.

SPEAKER_00 (40:43):
I love that.
So, what is your five-year plan?

SPEAKER_02 (40:47):
For me, you know, we're um I'll continue writing.
Uh we have six books in in theprogram and it's ten.
Uh we're doing a documentary umon uh trauma.
Uh it's a possible series.
Uh production company has it.
Um they're gonna they'reshopping for a host for the show
now.
It's uh a show about uhrecovering from trauma.

(41:09):
Uh and uh we're we're startingwith um the uh shooting in Las
Vegas.

SPEAKER_01 (41:16):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (41:16):
And we have a survivor who um spent eight
hours running in and out of thatbullet all the bullets and and
re and rescuing people, but thenwent down in his own trauma
afterward and took himself, Ithink, two or three years to
recover and come through itthrough all the PTSD.
So it's gonna be about him.
Um it looks like there's a lotof interest, if that's the case,

(41:41):
then we'll we may make a seriesout of it, and uh and then
whatever else life presents me.
I say if you stay active,something comes your way.
It just does.
It does, absolutely out there.
Yeah, you can't, you know, it'sthe old Cinderella story.
You can't stay in the house andthe prince comes to you.
You've got to go to the ball.
So I tell people all the time,get out there, doesn't matter

(42:05):
where you go, just be active.
Walk, uh whatever you get out ofyour house and and and and join,
join a club.
Join, I don't care what you do,but be with other people being
active.

SPEAKER_00 (42:20):
Yeah.
Are there any specific groupsthat you encourage people to
join?
I mean, I know AARP has a lot ofprograms available, um, YMCA,
um, Lifetime Gym, I think it'scalled Lifetime Gym.
Um there's a lot of places.

SPEAKER_02 (42:39):
Great places to start.
I always tell people if you canget yourself into the into the
YMCA or or a health club orwhatever, go in and again don't
compare yourself.
The muscle guys are over there,you're not competing with them.
Right.
Get on a uh a treadmill or anelliptical trainer or go in the
swimming pool and just be activeand and set goals for yourself.

(43:01):
Try to get a little better atthe program.
Maybe you know you went in andyou can go on the on the
treadmill for five minutes.
If you that's all you could do,you maxed out.
Right.
Maybe tomorrow you do five and ahalf.
And what you'll find is at theend of the month, you're
probably doing 15 minutes onthat.
Right now, all right.
Then maybe you might say, I'mgonna set the speed just a
little faster.

(43:22):
I'm gonna put that incline upjust a little bit, make it just
a little harder.
I have friends that are early70s and they ride bikes at 10
miles a day, you know, uphillseven.
And we were just with them lastnight.
And I, you know, and I have itfor me, again, I'm 71.
I have a gym in my basement.
We have basements here in thenortheast, and we have a 10

(43:42):
machines, and I go down an hourevery day and I work out.
It's part of the program, right?
You know, watch your diet.
You know, we get older, we havea tendency to say, well, I
wasn't gonna have an extra glassof wine, or we and then we go do
it.
Stay away from the alcohol.
You know, it's a rut you don'tneed to get into.

SPEAKER_00 (44:05):
Absolutely.
Um, one of the articles that Iwrote on, because I didn't I
couldn't find much information.
You know, I have I have awebsite, seniorsafetyadvice.com,
that I started in 2018 becausemy plan was that when I did
retire and at 67, then I wasgoing to do that full-time.

(44:27):
Um, of course, that ended upsparing other projects, but
that's what started it.
But I planned it back then and Iknew that it would take time to
build it and all of that.
But because of that, I got intoa lot of the, you know, looking
at a lot of websites about,excuse me, caregiving and senior
care and all of that.

(44:47):
You know, my history as a noteeworking in um neurologic, um,
you know, at geriatrics withneurological impairments, you
know, just gave me that skill.
And I figured it, you know, Iwant to share it.
Um, what one I know.
And the um I couldn't find, ifany, I couldn't find information

(45:08):
on older adults' um alcohol andthe effect in humble caregiving
for aging parents who arealcoholics or addicted in some
way to or have problems withalcohol, maybe well, I guess if
you have a problem, you're analcoholic.
But I wrote an article on that,and I get so much feedback on

(45:29):
that from people saying, oh,finally, there's some
information here that I can usethat can help me.
So, I mean, I'm gonna writemore, but there's not much
information out there on thattopic.

SPEAKER_02 (45:40):
No, there isn't.
You know, a lot of people kindof um look at retirement the
same way they look at avacation.
Oh, I'm not working anymore.
I'm gonna relax, I'm gonna havea good time.
And then they're eating more,they're less active, they're
drinking more, they're ifthey're socializing, maybe it's

(46:02):
a little here, a little there.
Uh socialization time is go outto eat.
It's all around that kind ofstuff.
Yeah, and I I and there'snothing wrong with doing some of
that.
Have fun, enjoy by all means,but you know, uh take care of
your body.
Right, get enough sleep.
Another very important part, I II omit it, is have a schedule

(46:25):
for yourself.
You know, I'm again, I'll be 71at the end of the year.
I still get up the same timeevery morning, I still go to bed
the same time, I make sure I getenough sleep because that is
huge for some years to to uh togo forward and be healthy and
and and keep your mind uh whereit needs to be.

(46:46):
So sleep, eat the right kinds offoods, uh, you know, right
amounts, keep your weight whereit, you know, keep it keep it
down, uh watch the medications,you know, that you don't have to
take the drinking.
There's some very simple steps,very healthy steps.
Live a healthy physical life.
That's where it starts.
Then you're you you now haveprepared yourself for that next

(47:06):
step.
I want to do that because a lotof times I'll hear people say,
Well, I'd like to do that, butyou know, I was just so tired
today.
And I said, Oh when I hear that,I said, You have all the energy
in the world if you just learnhow to tap into it.
You're preparing your body forretirement.
Stay healthy.
Engage your mind.

SPEAKER_00 (47:28):
Why do you think it's so difficult for so many
people?

SPEAKER_02 (47:32):
I think uh they began to the slide be long
before they retired.
They started looking toretirement.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm tired of this.
They started looking atretirement as an end game.

SPEAKER_00 (47:45):
Like they didn't like senioritis.

SPEAKER_02 (47:48):
You got it.
They didn't say, okay, that'sthe end of this.
And I I always actually I I Iask them to kind of pull that
word, the end, E N D, out ofyour word.
Okay, this is going to change.
Make that change now.
I will stop working, I will makea change into the next part of

(48:08):
life and pick what you like todo.
But as soon as you say it's theend game, you're done.
Now what do you do?
And I have so many friends thatyou know, I'll say, What did you
guys do?
Oh well, we we're gonna go tothis uh we meet for breakfast.
You know, uh and then we'regonna hang out at this guy's

(48:31):
garage and we watch the sports.
And I said, Okay, you're doingall those nice things you wanted
to do, but what else are youdoing?
Let by all means go socialize,relax, have a good time.
Get a get a a a functionalschedule, get something to look
forward to every day, beproductive.

(48:54):
This could be the mostproductive time of our lives if
we want it to be, because we getto do what we want to do, and if
we pick something that you knowuh makes us feel good, increases
our own our own empowerment andgives back, because that's the
other part of uh this uh part oflife.
We feel we're not we're notproductive, but we're also not

(49:15):
needed anymore.
Yes, we are.
Yeah, we need to give back so wewell because when you give it,
then you see it out there, youyou you see it come alive out
there, right?
That's a big part of all ofthis, right?

SPEAKER_00 (49:28):
I mean, it is so fulfilling to me when I get
wonderful comments uh, you know,from people from our YouTube
videos or articles or whatever.
Oh, this really helped me.
Thank you so much, you know, um,or your question, anything at
all.
It's it's so fulfilling.
And I mean, I get a lot of, Idon't know about you, about your

(49:49):
friends, you know, they give youa lot of um not feedback, but a
lot of pushback, you know, aboutEsther, why don't you come out
to lunch with us?
So why don't you do this?
I said, well, I'm working.
Um you're always working.
You know, it's like I havethings to do, you know, and I
can't go play bridge or whateverit is that you're doing.

(50:10):
I mean, you know, have fun, doit.
But um, I I get a lot ofpushback.
Do you find that you almost havelike two sets of friends, you
know, people that are productivelike you are, and people that
are absolutely, you know, and Idon't care what they're doing.

SPEAKER_02 (50:25):
I thought we were out with friends last night and
they're retired, and they do ayou know, they they do a lot of
going to their family grandchilduh kids' games, but they ride
bikes and they exercise andthey're involved in some
community things where they giveback, involved in the church.
Those are all good things.
They don't sit at home doingnothing.

SPEAKER_00 (50:45):
Awesome.

SPEAKER_02 (50:46):
They get up and go.
So you don't have to be uh doinga podcast, you don't have to be
writing books, you don't have tobe doing some something that's
big.
You have you should be saying,Yeah, let me go be productive,
let me see how I can still giveto this world, right?
So that I I can see it.
There's that reciprocity, that'sme getting something for me, and

(51:09):
I'm giving something.
You still feel useful.
Some people are of the mindthat's I've been giving all my
life, I'm tired of giving.
Uh, you know, and and I say,Well, just rearrange how you're
giving.
That's all.
Decide how much you want to eat,but get out there and and and
you know, and and we can beinfluencers, you don't have to
be influencers on on a globallevel.

(51:31):
You might influence five people.
Go influence those people, maketheir lives a little bit better,
yours in the process.

SPEAKER_00 (51:38):
Exactly.
Exactly.
I love that lesson.
I think people who work, excuseme, who work with you are very
fortunate.

SPEAKER_02 (51:48):
Well, you know what?
So I'm I'm fortunate in that.
I've been the, you know, Ialways say I I'm the kid that uh
grow up, grew up doing what Ithink I was meant to do.
I'm the I'm the I'm the olderperson who never went to work
one day in his life and in themeantime worked 12 and 13 hours
a day.
Uh and and and and I'm the olderversion of that who's engaged

(52:11):
and still doing things.
I don't get up at any on any dayand say, Oh, here we go again.
I say, Lord, let's go, you know.
Right.
So, you know, it if you'rewilling to do that, you can, you
can.
It's right there.
It's a mindset.
You've got to get up, positiveenergy, and here I go.

SPEAKER_00 (52:31):
It really is a mindset.
At the end of the day, your mindcontrols everything.

SPEAKER_01 (52:35):
It does.

SPEAKER_00 (52:36):
My uh my late husband was a psychologist, and
after that, uh he left that andhe became a uh physician
assistant, a PA, where he workedin family practice.
And he would often come home andhe would tell me, you know what?
Majority of people aren't comingin to see me for this.
They're coming in to see me forthis.

SPEAKER_02 (52:55):
They're done right, they are.

SPEAKER_00 (52:57):
He said, This is like affecting this.
He said, Oh my goodness.
I mean, he was fortunate that hehad training in both and skills
in both, and the doctors heworked for loved him because he
had that.
But I mean, was he was able tosee in the patients, you know,
and it's it it's true, your mindcan control just about

(53:19):
everything.
But it takes work, it takes workto get that going.

SPEAKER_02 (53:24):
But love the work.
I uh when I'm when I workingwith people, regardless of of
what I'm working with, I say ifyou decide to make change in
your life a chore, you will hateit and you will run away from
it.
Yeah, but if you embrace it andhave a good time with it, yeah,

(53:45):
like anything else, you willstay with it.

SPEAKER_00 (53:49):
That's true.

SPEAKER_02 (53:50):
It's as simple as that.
You don't look at this part oflife and say, Oh my god, here I
am.
You know, what do I do now?
You say, Okay, here I am, I'lltell you what I'm gonna do now.
That's the way it depends on howyou look at it.
And you know, people I'm surewill listen to this and say,
Well, yeah, but you don't knowwhat my life's like.
And I say, you know what?

(54:11):
I'm sure there are challenges.
Yeah.
But the bottom line isregardless of what your life is
like, you have two options.
You either decide to embrace itand run into it, or be
overwhelmed and run away fromit.
We have people who don't havelegs, and I I just went to um uh

(54:34):
in the summertime, we went to umuh it was a Christian kind of a
big uh production in inPhiladelphia, and and I forgot
the man's name, but he has noarms and no legs, and they put
him on a table, and he is amotivational speaker and travels
around the world and now makesbig bucks to do all of this
because he said nothing is goingto stop me.

(54:55):
Now, his thing is if I have noarms and legs, and here I am in
front of you, and I'm willing todo this, are you really gonna
tell me that those littlechallenges that you have, and I
look at them as little, he said,that's what's holding you back?
I can't embrace that concept.

(55:16):
And that's what I say to people.
Are they cutting off your legs?
Are they what what's going on?
Well, I'm just so stop makingexcuses.
Right, go get scared, go go gobe overwhelmed and then work
your way through it.
And if you need help, then goget help.
Yeah, that's the other thing.
Hey, I'm having problems withthis.
I don't good, I'll be glad tohelp you out.

SPEAKER_00 (55:39):
Yeah, yeah.
That's the other factor that Ifind several of my friends or
family have trouble with is theydon't go seek the help that they
you know need um or could use.
You know, I don't know what isuh perception or you know, I
don't care if it's a you know acounselor or a psychologist or

(56:02):
psychiatrist, I mean, whateverit is, you you need someone to
help you through the process.
We all need each other to helpthrough the process.
But I wonder, you know, if it'syou know, words are so important
to me.
I think words are I think wordsframe our mindset, words frame
our thought patterns,everything.

(56:23):
So is it just the pattern ofwords we're used to telling
ourselves?
Is it how do we switch that?

SPEAKER_02 (56:31):
You know, the new book I wrote is called is the
Ficture Internal LanguageHandbook and the Way We Talk to
Ourselves.
And you know, people don't gethelp because they've talked
themselves right out of the factthat they have there'll be some
work and they have to beaccountable to themselves.
We all have to understand we areaccountable to ourselves.
We don't get help becausesomeone's gonna say, Well, we
got all the information, dothis, and then they go, Oh, I

(56:55):
have to do what embrace it.
It's not work, it's fun once youonce your mind embraces that.
But the way we talk toourselves, you know, I always
tell people in that first threeseconds when something happens,
the decision you make will uhwill tell you how you're going
to address it.
So if if if you respondemotionally and go you're

(57:19):
already gone.
But if you hear it and say,Well, let me take a step back
and think about this, now youengaged your mind.
So engage your mind or engageyour emotions.

SPEAKER_01 (57:28):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (57:28):
And and I have a little concept I call I over e,
and intellect over emotion.
Get your emotions out of thegame first, get your brain
engaged so you can decide whatto do, yeah.
Then bring your emotions in sothey're emoting over facts and
and and the right information.

SPEAKER_00 (57:46):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (57:46):
Simple emotion.
Very simple thing to do.
But you just have to every timesomething happens, instead of
reacting and getting angry or orafraid, or just say, wait a
minute, let me just take a stepback here.
Right.
As soon as you did that, whatyou did is you flipped the
switch and got your brain in thein the mix.
That's what we're that's what weneed.

SPEAKER_00 (58:03):
Right, right.
And and you're absolutely rightabout emotion.
I think it's, and I don't meanto be stereotypical, but I think
especially for women, it's verydifficult to step back away
from.
I mean, the first reaction Iusually you know hear from my
female friends is emotional.
It's like, what are you talkingabout?
You know, and then of coursethey're talking from their

(58:24):
emotion, from what they'refeeling.
That comes up first.
But as we were saying earlier,you need to stop, you need to
think and listen, and reallystop, think, and listen.
But um it, yeah, it may seemeasy, I think, but not it's not
for everyone, I think.
They they really have to learnto do it.

(58:44):
It's a shame it's not taught inschool, you know, high school,
elementary school, whatever, allof that should be taught at that
point because it takes that longto develop it.

SPEAKER_02 (58:56):
Well, we have to understand that learning, it
when we talk about learning, wewe are retraining our brain.
That's what learning is, andlearning is always a function of
repetition over time.
Yeah, the more we repeat theprocess, yeah, the more positive
energy we put into it, thefaster we get to the goal, and

(59:16):
the more concrete that goalbecomes.
It it gets solidified.
Yeah, we don't do that.
Well, we we we do something fora little while and say, it's not
working, and then we stopbecause we don't want to we
don't want to keep committed toit.
If we just stay, if you staywith uh a program to change, you
will make the change.
That's the way that's the waythe brain is.

(59:37):
And people say, Well, I that'shard for me to understand.
And I say, Okay, let's gothrough all your negative
habits.
Did they just show up?
You've been doing it all theseyears.
So you did a negative trainingprogram on your brain.
That is the proof that yourbrain learns over time.
Repetition over time is but youdid it negative.

(59:58):
Right.
How about if you do it positive?
How about if you uh uh applyrepetition over time with
positive energy?
Do you think you'll be happier?
Yeah, you've proven to yourselfyou can do it.
You just have to do it this waynow.
That's all true.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:13):
Have you done a TED talk yet?

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:15):
I haven't.
Uh and that's just about time.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:19):
Put that on your list.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:21):
We may, you know, those are the things where
again, my my I I thought I wouldretire and I'm gonna have more
time.
And I took on what the practiceis here, and I'm writing and I'm
interviewing, and I'm not this.
Documentary and those meetings,and it's just I don't haven't
had the time yet.
But you know what?
That's okay.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:38):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:39):
When I look at it, that's one of the things we
talked about.
Um, will it be necessary?
I don't know.
I have a couple people thatwanted to do one with me.
Let's let's do one together andwe'll see.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:49):
You know, yeah, that's a good way to start.
It's a fun I like that idea alsoof doing things initially in a
group.
Absolutely.
And then if you have to do itsolo or want to do it solo, you
can learn from the group andmove up.
Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:02):
You know, I've been doing this now uh since 2019.
So we're I'm into six, sevenyears, and I remember starting
to do podcasts at that time, andyou know, you're learning it.
And now some a bunch of us of10, 15 of us who kind of cut our
cut in together are now becominga little bit on the influencer
end, if you will.

(01:01:23):
And now we I go, we I wastalking with one of them, she
interviewed me on her on herpodcast again, and she said, Um,
do you remember the first timewe did this?
I mean, we were fumbling aroundtrying to figure out it had
about three views, you know, andbut we were laughing as it
because here was the learningprocess, and so many of the
other people kind of fell to theside because they didn't see the
results they wanted right away.

(01:01:45):
And here we are still doingthis, and her podcast now has
something like 10,000 peopleevery time she does one, you
know, and you know, and she ishow I mean I think is 74,
something like that, and stillgoing, you know, what is her
podcast once a week, you know,and you you just keep doing it,

(01:02:07):
it's fun, and now you go backand see those people that stuck
with it, right?
And you think, ah, old friend,how are you?

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:15):
That's right.
I mean, for 25 years I didinternet marketing.
After OT, I went into internetbecause I was doing all
continuing ed courses and it gotme in the internet, and that was
fascinating, whatever.
But um, I can't tell you howmany small businesses you know
would close down after sixmonths, eight months, a year.
It's like, no, you I know ittakes three years or more to

(01:02:37):
just you just have to keepgoing, but you have to plan for
that, of course.
You know it's not gonna do muchin the first two, three, four
years, whatever.
Take your time, it will happen,but you have to persevere.

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:50):
And and and enjoy it.
Don't make this a chore.
Yeah, these are I always saidnow we're we're I'm suddenly how
many years am I gonna have?
Do I want to put drudgery intomy life?
Do I want to put uh depression?
Get up every day and say, ohgee, I don't know.
I want to for I'm hoping to bearound for 30 more years, you
know.
That that's my plan.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:12):
Yeah, I hope so too.
That'll be awesome.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:15):
You know, but but if that's the case, I want to enjoy
every second.
You know, that I always say theLord gave me all these seconds
in my life, and I want tomaximize every one of them.
That's kind of that's my view onit.
And get up with that kind ofenergy and and be able to say
that uh, you know, these aremoments of my life.

(01:03:35):
I have control over a reasonableamount of this.
Whatever I can control, I'mgoing to.
What I can't, that's okay.
Exactly.
But I can, I want to make sureI'm doing the right things there
and enjoying it.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:48):
That's true.
The act of letting go is yetanother factor.
Letting go of, like you said,the negative thoughts, letting
go of what other people think ofyou, uh, letting go of failures
or what you perceive asfailures.
You know, letting go is very,very important.
Looking forward instead oflooking back.

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:10):
Absolutely.
To me, a failure is nothing morethan okay, I didn't have it all,
I didn't have all the rightinformation there.
So based on that, I have to pushthat out and I gotta include
some other things in there.
Now I'm gonna try again.

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:21):
Right.
It's just a learning to me, it'sa learning thing.
I mean, how you know, I am deepinto all the new AI technology,
you know, uh, you know, promptuh engineering and AI agents and
learning all of that so that Ican teach it, you know, to the
members of the directory.
I mean, my you know, membersthere get marketing webinars

(01:04:43):
every week.
So I have to learn it to teachit, to give it to them.
And yeah, I mean, I get I don'tI say at the very beginning, I
am no expert, I'm learning alongwith you, let's learn it.
And then if I learn somethingnew or I did something wrong,
then you know, I I sendsomething out saying, hey, let's

(01:05:03):
try it this way.
I think it's better.
Um, but then I always welcomeeveryone else to to say, if you
learn something, tell me.
I want to know.
It's a group, right?
It's a group learning thing, ithas to be.
Um, you know, who am I?
It has to be.
Oh, Mr.
Ruggiero, I so enjoy I love yourname, Ruggiero.

(01:05:24):
It gives me the uh opportunityto use my little Italian.
That I know.
So my parents were extremelySicilian.
I always say I grew up inAmerica, but in my house, it was
Sicily.

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:40):
Well, that's how we are.
My whole town is italian.
Oh it was a little town ofPennsylvania called Rosetto,
Pennsylvania, which came uhwhich was named from the
immigrants that came out over inuh Italy.
It's Rosetto Valfatore, Italy.
So it became Rosetto,Pennsylvania.
All Italian uh govern, you know,we governed that way.

(01:06:01):
Yeah, doors were opened, everyfamily was in each other's
homes.
It was the old way of living,right?
And uh it was so much fun tolive it in that type of a
culture.
And you know, every you know,everyone you knew was Italian,
or you know, that's just what wedid.
So it was a lot of fun, youknow, you know, and uh it's
changed now, but you know, it'sstill it's still what's inside.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:24):
Of course.
I mean, you were fortunateenough to have that experience,
and I think you growing up thatway, it I think that embedded in
you the ability to be able tonow now you can share that
absolutely, and you know, youcan see what's lacking, you
know, because you you grew upwith that uh Italian Ozzy and

(01:06:44):
Harriet kind of life.
So, how do people hire you?
How do people get in touch withyou to use it?

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:53):
Is my website, it's uh my name, fostergerald.com.
Uh, everything about me isthere.
The books uh excerpts from thebooks are there, media
interviews, all that kind ofstuff.
And there's a contact link.
And uh by all means, for anyone,be you know, uh contact me if
you'd like to.
I do get back to people, and notone of these people.
That's it.

(01:07:13):
Contact me and that's all getback to people.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:17):
Yeah, it's very important to keep in touch.
I mean, that's one of the mostimportant things in social media
and in anything, you know, emailespecially.
I spend at least an hour, hourand a half every day on email
answering back and forth.
And and yeah, I could use AI todo that, but it's I'm I'm not
there yet.
I think it's very I think it hasto be personal at this point.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:41):
Me too.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:42):
Yeah.
Well, that's what we get fromour knowledge of being older.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:46):
Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:47):
I love it.
Oh, Mr.
Rieto, thank you so much.
I did record it late, but I'mgoing to add information to it,
introduce you, and um and getthis out there.
Again, it's going to be onmultiple podcasts, two podcasts,
two YouTube channels, and thenI'll also create shorts and get
that out on LinkedIn andFacebook and Pinterest and all

(01:08:11):
the places people tend to go to.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:13):
And when we get the link, we will put it on my
social media linking back toyou.
So some traffic your way.

SPEAKER_00 (01:08:20):
Thank you, Mr.
Ruguero.
I am so on it.
Thank you so much.
I so look forward to that TEDTalk.
I think I'm gonna go on um thesite now and order every single
book and I will talk to youlater.
Have a beautiful day.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:35):
You too.

SPEAKER_00 (01:08:36):
All right, sir.
Thank you.
Ciao.