Episode Transcript
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From high atop the Alex Bones building.
Broadcasting from the Alex BonesStudio.
Live on the Alex Bones Radio Network.
This is the number one syndicated radio show in the
world. The.
Alex Bones show. Hi, my name is Alex, the Alex
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Bones show and this is my show. Over 25,000,000 daily listeners.
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The number one syndicated radio show in the world.
Boneshow.com. And we play videos and we talk
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about the videos. And all I have to say is Jimmy,
please give us a video. I went on a super awkward third
date last week and I want to tell you about it to see if
there's any opinion if I did anything wrong.
You probably did and 1/3 date. You're pretty much married at
this point. You've been on two dates and you
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liked him or he liked you, so you're going to go out on
another date. First few dates were great, no
problems. We had a great time, great
conversation. There was no physical touch
other than a hug at the end and he communicated that he was into
me. I communicated that he was into
him and he had asked me if I washoping to some more physical
touch and I said yes, we're on the same page.
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Consent. Yeah, you can come over Netflix
and chill and let me touch your butt.
Everything's good. So that day I go and pick up
this lemon bar that he really likes from this local shop and
to surprise him and he asked me when I went to drink and eat and
whatever. So everything's great so far.
So far great. He texted me like 3 or 4 hours
before and he's like hey are youstill planning to swing by
tonight? Yeah.
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Are you still coming? I haven't heard from you.
I mean, you said yes and that was like 4 hours ago.
I don't know if you're coming. I was going to clean up the
house, but if you're not going, I ain't cleaning up the house.
And I was like, swing by weird, okay, don't know what that
means. Not the terminology I would use,
but you know, I was like, okay. Oh my God, you're pain in the
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ass. Whatever.
I get to his house around 7:00. We'd agreed on a movie, so that
was all set. He had bought some chips and
some cheese and bought me a rootbeer and it was great.
I thought it was very kind. OK.
Is that what you said you wanted?
I just give me chips and cheese and root beer.
Sweet that he like kind of got snacks.
I sit down on the couch while he's prepping the snacks and I'm
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he's got kind of one of those L couches and I sit in the middle.
He brings the snacks over and hesits and he sits like a good 3
or 4 feet away from me. Hey.
Guys smell funny. You have to, like, reach to
touch me. And, like, that's weird.
But whenever he's being respectful, he's been respectful
this whole time. So the movie's playing, and he's
still kind of far away from me, and I'm like, OK, that's weird.
I'm starting to feel a little awkward about that because he's
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the one that wanted to initiate physical touch.
And then I see him open his phone and he starts texting.
I'm like, OK, not a big deal. Like something you know, just
responding to a text and a few minutes later he does it again
and he continues to text. But he's got work going on.
He's he's busy. Through this whole movie.
Well, you think you're the only one he's dating?
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He hasn't even really touched you.
And he he he's not the only one you're dating.
You got a harem too. Shut up.
Sitting. 4 feet away from. Me.
You're watching a movie. Eat your chips and drink your
root beer and shut up. I.
Want root beer now? I know I hate when people bring
up things like that because I'm like, I wouldn't root.
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Beer talk, joking about the movie.
It was a funny movie. You know that's good root beer.
Is that Culver's? They got good root beer.
Yeah, they make their own. It's really good.
Listen to this broad. And then the movie ends and I'm
like, OK, maybe now, you know, there'll be some physical touch,
something like that. But no, he starts talking about
this TV show, and then he makes this comment about Highlander,
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the TV show, and he's like, yeah, I put on.
No Homelander on Highlander. When I want people to leave and
I'm like with like when girls are at my house and I want
people to leave, I'm like, that's a weird comment.
OK, I'm going to take this. This is time for me to go.
He didn't put on an Islander, but it was just, it was weird.
So we're chatting. We're kind of half watching this
TV show still like 4 feet away from me and I'm like, all right,
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I think I'm going to go and he'slike, OK, I'll walk you to your
car. I.
Got to make sure you leave because my real girlfriend's
coming over the minute you leave, it's.
Awkward at this point so. I'm watching eyeliner.
This is strange. It's kind of a waste of time.
I wasn't feeling it. So he walks me into my car and
we get to my car and he gives mea hug and he's like, can I give
you a good night kiss? I'm like, yeah, sure.
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Great. So he kisses me, kisses fine.
It's it's a 5 out of 10. It's a little awkward.
Oh, the poor guy. 5 out of 10. Good Hex swearing at home
thanking me for the lemon bar and saying he had a good night
and I said great thanks. Me too, thanks for the snacks it
was really sweet. Good night and I literally never
hear from him again. It's been 5 days.
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OK, now go back and think the first two dates, how did you
look? Third date.
Did you get a haircut? Did you show off more of your
bot? I don't know.
You did something wrong. You smelled funny.
Oh, guys, get a whiff. Ah, that's that's it.
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I don't want you no more. I'm back on my phone looking for
the next girl. Thank you.
Next. So Gene Simmons of The Man Kiss
and Full disclosure, good friendof the show.
So not talking out of line here about Gene.
Gene has done our show before. Gene's a nice guy.
He's a good guy. Whatever.
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Gene Simmons today testifies at Congress about the Music
Fairness Act. So what this is is musicians
want to charge radio stations for playing their music.
OK, you got that So far. They don't think that they're
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getting enough money. So every time a radio station
plays their music, they pay thatartist OK?
I think I understand. So if we play a Gene Simmons
KISS song, then we have to pay Gene Simmons.
Right, right. So that's what they're trying to
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push through Congress. I'm here to kindly ask all of
you, both Republicans and Democrats, to help us remedy a
situation an injustice. Why is Gene Simmons wearing his
sunglasses in Congress? Yeah, I don't know.
He wore his sunglasses last night at the the Kennedy Center
Awards. I don't know what's going on
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with his eyes. Something's going on with Gene
Simmons eyes. But anyway, so Gene Simmons is
saying this. Let's call.
It for what it is, an injustice that's been ongoing for many,
many decades. I'm going to tell you what I
mean. Bing Crosby recorded perhaps one
of the biggest songs of all time, White Christmas.
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What's more American than that? OK, so far we got it right.
Yeah, so Bing Crosby by dreamingof a white crisp, that song.
Yeah, that song, that's the one he's talking about.
By Irving Berlin It's been on radio, AM and FM, later FM
originally in AM, millions of times.
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Every Christmas we and around the world are listening to I'm
Dreaming of a White Christmas. That's America's Song.
I don't think that's America's song.
Now he's trying to make a point,but I don't think that's
America's song. Everyone received money.
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The radio station sold advertising.
The plumber who fixed the plumbing got paid every, but the
disc jockey got paid the only person.
Disc jockey really didn't get. Paid and that was never played
for the airplay was Bing Crosby,which is astonishing and.
The radio station didn't get money from, you know, clients.
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They they have sales people go out there and sell the radio
station to try to get commercials to put on that radio
station so the radio station canmake money.
Let's. Talk about why this is called
the American Music. You got to stop there.
American Music fairness act yes,it's an act that's fair because
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there isn't fairness ongoing right now, but it's American
Music America. Last time I checked, Zimbabwe
gave the world no music I. Can't Sing?
They have good music. French song and nobody else.
It's America's music that. OK, here's my deal.
I've been in radio 30 years. I was in the music business many
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years. OK worked for a major record
company, Atlantic Records. Gene Simmons would not be
sitting at this desk in Congressif it wasn't for radio.
Radio played KISS and made you famous.
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Elvis, baby, The King, Elvis whowho sang hundreds and hundreds
of songs and I met the gentlemanwhen he was alive.
And sadly, Elvis never got a penny for all the times, all the
millions of times that his musicwas played around the world.
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All right, but if radio never played Elvis, he would have
never have been Elvis. It's all about promotion.
But if you go to Africa, you ain't nothing, buddy.
You hear that music that is our emissary that's bigger.
OK, but Africa would have never played a heavily from Memphis if
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it wasn't for radio. And cooler and better than any
foreign minister that goes on. American culture spreads with
our music, with our pop culture.Elvis never got a penny.
OK, but Elvis made a load of money from his fans.
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Why did he have fans? Because he was on the radio.
You're going to charge you or you want to with this music
fairness act. You want to charge radio to play
music? Radio stations right now make
this much money? None.
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So if you're going to charge a radio station $5000 a year to
play the music that they're playing to play, OK, so you got
to pay to play Pink Floyd for the 9 millionth time.
So you're going to pay $5000 a year to play your music, they're
going to have to fire more people in radio.
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You know how many people work inradio now?
4 they got the fire. 1 There'd be 3 left because of your music
fairness act. Just so the family of Elvis.
Who's ever left, who's left now?Yeah, I don't even know.
His grandkids or something? So his grandkids can make $0.05
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a year. You're going to destroy what's
left of radio. You're dancing on the grave of
radio. I'm going to tell you how bad
radio is right now. You ready?
Now you better watch out becausewe're on a 750 radio stations,
so you better watch your mouth. I'm not saying anything out of
school here. There's a radio station, big
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radio station, huge rate, been around for 100 years.
Coming up a day after tomorrow, they're going off the air,
they're going to simulcast on FM, and then in a month the AM
is going to go away. You know why?
Because the land that the transmitter and the antennas sit
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on are worth more than the radiostation.
It's been around for 100 years. It's got three call letters.
It's been around forever. It's been a staple in a.
Major market. For 100 years, the land is worth
more than the radio station. So you want to pass the Music
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Fairness Act and dance on radio's grave and kill it even
more? Apples killed it enough.
Spotify has killed it enough. YouTube has killed radio enough.
You're going to dance on its grave one last time because you
want a couple of extra cents to go to Bing Crosby's family.
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Thank you. Next.
Today I was in Walmart and something really disappointing
happened to me. Let me guess, I don't know.
I was standing in the aisle withmy fiance Michael and this woman
came up to us and she was holding a blanket and she said
excuse me, I don't mean to bother you, I just am homeless.
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I that doesn't make sense because there's cameras
everywhere in Walmart. There's people following you in
Walmart. Do does Walmart not see this
girl asking for money? And I'm living in a tent, no?
You're not. You're walking around Walmart.
And it's been so cold and I really need a blanket.
You got a blanket, You carry a blanket.
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You're like lioness over here. But I don't have the money to
get it. I'm just $5 away.
I'm not asking for money. I'm just asking can you like
help me get this? No, you're completely asking for
money because you asked for $5. And I said, both of us said we
don't have cash. And I said I will buy this
blanket for you. So we walked up to the front.
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I buy her this blanket. I make sure that she has the
receipt because at this particular Walmart, everything
gets checked because there's so much theft happening there.
Oh yeah, God. So now that you bought her
something, she's going to followyou outside, isn't she?
There's half of you're. Never going to get this is like
when you feed a cat. When a cat comes to your house
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and you feed it, it's never going to go away.
The place is locked up to find somebody and then they walk you
up to check you out and there's just a lot of theft.
So she needed the receipts. As I'm walking away.
My fiance is so sweet, calls andhe's like, you should get her
two blankets. And I was like, I already got
her the one. She walked out.
She's like, 'cause she needs onefor her lower half and her upper
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half. You should have bought her a
heating blanket. And I get back to him and I'm
like, I just feel like she's going to return this and take
the cash. She's doing it for drug money.
It's $21.00 and some change. You can buy some, you can buy
some rock with that. So like for me.
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Can you buy rock for $21? Yeah, I don't know.
It's not a big deal. I mean, I'm not rich, but like
to help somebody who's freezing.That's that's like, that's
nothing. I would do that any day.
And he's like, you really think so?
You really think she's going to return that?
And I said, yeah, I, I do. I don't want to be right,
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obviously, but I just have this feeling that that's what she's
going to do. I never even thought of that.
So. And she's going to take it back
and say no, I want the 21 bucks so I can go buy me some some
hash. We go about, we just finish our
shopping, we go to the front, weare walking out and there she is
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that customer service returning this blanket and holding a $20
bill and some change in her hand.
And he's like, wow, you're right.
And I said, I just, I just want to make eye contact with her.
So he walks out and I'm standingthere waiting for her to turn
around and the woman who's checking people out.
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See, this is right here. This is the reason I don't get
people money. How do you if somebody walks up
to you in the Walmart and says something to you, how do you how
do you not pay him attention andgive him money?
I just look at him like I can't hear and I just keep walking.
I I fake deafness? Looks at me and is like, are you
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OK? And I said I just bought that
blanket for that woman because she said she was going to be
cold tonight in her. Tent and she.
Was like, oh, that's not right, That's not fair.
And it felt like she wanted to like, go up there and like, get
me my money back. And, you know, I totally could
have been like, hey, actually I want that back on my card, not
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in cash. And I could have showed it and
would have matched up. But I just stood there and she
finally turns around. She sees me and she's very
shifty. And I just said I hope whatever
it is that you need that money for is worth it.
Thank you. Next.
This is just into our newsroom. New video of Tara Reid at the
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Suburban Hotel in the bar there after the actress claimed that
she was drugged. Now you can see Reid here
drinking and talking with a man at the corner of the bar.
This is inside the DoubleTree Hotel in Rosemont.
Some two weeks ago. ABC7 obtaining this video
through the Freedom of Information Act and soon after
you see her falling out of a wheelchair right there in the
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hotel lobby. She's she's trashed.
Rattled by people who were trying to help her, Reed ended
up in the hospital. She's hammered.
That someone tampered with her drink, but police say they found
no such evidence. Tara Reid though, releasing a
statement through her spokesperson saying she's been
quote honest and does not remember anything after her
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first drink and she's asking forprivacy and compassion.
She said that, but the police found nothing in her system.
She needs to go to a meeting, get a couple of chips.
It's not the first time she's been this hammered in public.
Happens all the time, so something's going to happen to
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poor girl. And I hate it because, you know,
she used to be a decent actress.I came right through.
So I went to one of those cheap hole in the wall massage places
the other day and I almost called the cops on the lady.
No, you don't do that. Come on.
I should have known better. It was like, you know, the cheap
ones that you see in the Oh you.Wanted them that you wanted her
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to touch your Weiner Plaza. But it was $60.00 for for an
hour so I'm OK I'll get. Yeah, regular people don't go to
those for a massage. No, they don't.
They go to a real masseuse. For a shot, I'm really sore.
And Oh yeah, you're really sore.The first red flag is she said
that I pay upfront. A little weird, but OK, I'll pay
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you right now if you want me to.Yeah, most places do that.
You pay first. So we do the massage.
It was horrible. It was like she's never massaged
anyone in her life. And I didn't even occur to me to
tip because it was so bad. So I'm getting ready to leave.
She's like, you tip? Didn't think you're going to
ask, but OK. I only have a card.
Is is that OK? Yeah, Yeah, I can charge your
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card. Oh, great, So now that you put
60 bucks on it, you're going to put more money on it then you're
going to probably put $100 on it.
Oh God. So I gave her my card and she's
like, how much? And I said 10 and she's like no,
no, no 2020. I'm like no, 10's fine.
No, no 2020. You're so hard to massage you.
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You're so big. Sorry, I'm trying to summarize
it. I'm just recalling.
You're not trying to sound racial, but you are she tart.
And we know 10. And she said, OK, she types 15
into the machine. I mean, what are you doing?
No. OK.
Just just at that point, let it be 15 and then leave.
No. 10 and she's like no 15 go 20 I'm like OK now I'm just
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annoyed I'm trying to leave so I'm like OK how about 10 and
I'll I'll come back and. I'll just stop fighting with
poor girl. Just get the 15 bucks and leave.
You went to a shady place to geta massage.
What do you expect today? How about call the Better
Business Bureau on? Them I'll never come back.
OK, now you're not getting a tip.
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Give me back for card please. She's like no, no, no, 20 AM I
she's not giving back for card. I'm not going to reach and grab
it from her hands. So I'm like trying to like bait
her to give me back my card. I'm OK, I'll I'll pay 20.
Just give me I'll give you a different card.
Say OK, give me the card. I'll give you this card.
I'm like OK now. Yeah, see she made an extra 5
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bucks. Now you're asking for.
She made an extra 20 bucks. You are true.
Now I'm going to call the policeand she gets it back my card.
Yeah, you just have to say that word inside one of those massage
places and she'll do anything you want and.
Like you. Guys, Police no.
Rude. You could have had 10 bucks and
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I start to walk out. She's like you, too big to
massage. You're too hard anyways.
Oh, OK, whatever. I'll never come back to this
place. Listen dude, I don't believe a
damn word you just said. I believe nothing other than she
wouldn't give you the card back.Everything else in that story
complete lie because nobody goesto a massage place and thinks
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I'm going to get a good massage.Not for 60 bucks.
Now for a place you gotta pay upfront.
You lie. That's a lot of celebrity single
day.