Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
From high atop the Alex Bones building.
Broadcasting from the Alex BonesStudio.
Live on the Alex Bones Radio Network.
This is the number one syndicated radio show in the
world. The.
Alex Bones show now. I'm ready.
(00:22):
Are you ready? The Alex Bones show, Because
it's going to start right now. Take me your shows on last.
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(00:50):
Over 25,000,000 daily listeners listen to that show.
(01:15):
We play videos, we talk about the videos, Jimmy.
Yeah. Go ahead and give me a video
please. All right, I have a question.
I'm 46, single, no kids. OK?
I find that I only meet men thatlie.
You you're saying that men lie? No, men don't lie.
(01:36):
What are you talking about? Yeah, I've never lied in my
life. Yeah.
See, Jimmy's never lied. I really have hope that there's
good men out there because I have a wonderful father and I
had a wonderful stepfather that passed away.
I'm a good man and I'm out there, but you know what?
You're 46, so you're not going to find any men that want to
(01:58):
date a 46 year old. I know there's good men out
here. OK, Where are you?
Where is my person? Because.
And they're married and they're at home with their wife and
watching TV right now and watching football.
So that's where you you need to get a time machine and go back
(02:21):
in time to when you're 26 and then you can find one.
I'm so tired of being lied to. Why is it so?
What then don't ask questions. If you don't want to be lied to,
then don't ask any questions andyou won't get no lies.
Thank you. Next.
I went on a first day last nightand I still can't believe this
(02:43):
is real. OK, this is the guy with the
mustache and he always goes on bad dates, so I don't know
what's wrong with him other thanhe's got a bad mustache, but he
could. He goes out on a lot of dates
and none of them were really good.
Yeah, I don't think this guy's had a good date ever.
Was atrocious. It was a train wreck, I.
(03:05):
Don't know what people are? Like I'm disgusted, but I know
what everyone's here for. Let me tell you what happened.
We are just fascinated by a woman that will go out with you
with that mustache. I mean, she's got to see photos.
And I mean, the stash is rocking.
There's even a song about it. You may not have the name you.
(03:27):
May not have. The cash, but you'll make that
girl you're home if you've only got a mustache.
Oh, mustache. Oh, mustache.
If you've only got a mustache, that's.
It's for your mustache there buddy.
And I'm matching with this girl on Hinge.
She seemed normal. When you find somebody on Hinge,
I bet they say I'm not like every other woman, I'm a good
(03:49):
woman. And you go, oh, really?
And they go, yeah. And they go, you Take Me Out and
you'll find out that I'm, I'm not like every other woman.
I'm a good woman. And they go, Oh yeah, let's go
out to let's go out then. I get it.
OK, What do you want a man to do?
She matched with me, I gave her my number.
We taxed it for a few days, not long.
(04:10):
We're just getting back from theholiday weekend, so things were
busy. It took a while to plan a date,
but after some lengthy discussion and some good game
planning, we decided to go get dinner last night once I got out
of work. OK.
Did you pick the place? She picked the place.
I told her I was working a little later than usual, I
probably wouldn't be able to meet her there till 7.
She said hey that is not a problem. 645 rolls around, I go,
(04:35):
hey, I'm leaving work, I'll be there right at 7.
She goes perfect, me too. So far we are about four or five
days into texting. OK, so you said I'm leaving
work. I'll be there in 15 minutes.
So there's communication going between you and this Rod.
That's a good thing. No red flags yet.
(04:55):
Did you bring your mustache? Get to the restaurant right
about 7. Tell her I'm here.
She goes. Me too, Oh my God, green flag,
green flag. I say hey why don't we meet at
the door. She says great.
I go meet her at the door. She looks stunning.
I'm still in work clothes, but to be fair I did tell her I was
coming straight from work. To be fair, to be fair.
(05:19):
Come to think that I don't know what she does for work because
she did not look. He's a stripper.
Business casual, business attire, whatever.
She looked great, but we were not on the same wavelength with
the clothing. Well.
Most people don't work until 7 so she probably had enough time
to go home from whatever job shehas and change clothes and get
ready for the date that most people do.
(05:41):
Anyways, we say hi, she look great.
We go inside, go sit at our table.
To be fair, yesterday was Monday.
What's Monday? Margarita.
Monday. Oh.
That's a good day. Sky Go Hey, would you like to
split a pitcher of margaritas? Split.
(06:01):
No, you get one, I get one. Just bring 2 straws and two
pitchers. Margarita Monday.
Split up like a Christmas tree. We're coming back tomorrow, Taco
Tuesday. You would think she just won the
lottery, and I love a good Margarita too, but she was
ecstatic. Oh my God, yes, I would love to
do that. And so we ordered a pitcher of
(06:21):
strawberry margaritas. I wouldn't.
Strawberry margaritas now. Yeah, so do I.
That sounds really good. Strawberry Margarita.
A whole picture of it. And God, that's got to be
expensive though. That's got to be like $100.
Now 10 bucks for a pitcher of margaritas?
I didn't expect them. To be 10 bucks, keep them
(06:44):
coming. Very strong at all.
It's like this. Oh honey, come here will you?
I need two more glasses for the girls.
And also bring a pitcher of beerevery 7 minutes till somebody
passes out and then bring one every 10 minutes, right?
I take a sip and I don't know what type of liquor they used,
but it brought me back to my colleagues.
(07:05):
Yeah, for 10 bucks for a pitcherof strawberry Margarita.
It's not going to be top shelf. It's not going to be the good
stuff, OK? It's going to be the bottom of
the shelf. Basically rubbing alcohol.
Take a sip and you're like, oh, that's liquor.
So I'm sipping on mine, looking through the menu.
And you got it. The Margarita and your mustache.
(07:27):
I tell her hey, I'm thinking about doing the chicken at steak
fajita combo. Why you telling her she's not
your waiter? Keep that to yourself.
By the time I look up, she already finished her first
Margarita. I'm thinking maybe it's predate
jitters. Not a big deal now maybe.
You want me to? Pour you, in other words.
Party Girl. And I ask her what she's
getting. She's getting beef chimichangas.
(07:49):
OK, why are you asking? Are you taking the order?
Listen, I am a white man when I go to a Mexican.
Restaurant. Nachos, chips and queso,
guacamole and fajitas keep it simple.
But she's getting chimichangas. I'm getting fajitas.
You know the word chimichanga? It just makes me think I'm going
(08:11):
to be sitting on the toilet in like an hour going it.
Just the word chimichanga just makes me want to poo.
To come over and take our work and we're talking having a good
time. But I do realize and is.
She a party girl. I mean, she is through a second
and a third before the waiter comes back to take our order.
(08:33):
We order our food and I'm like OK.
You're getting lucky, but she's eating the chimichangas, so then
she's going to be on the toilet and then you take her back to
the house. That's not good.
We're probably done drinking, No, she says.
Can I have two more margaritas, 1 mango and another strawberry?
The waiter's like, yeah, sure. Do you want regular margaritas
(08:55):
or you want the pitcher? Not even done with my first
Margarita, the waiter brings back over.
Can you bring two more margaritas and a funnel?
I'm trying to have a conversation with this girl.
She's in a drinking contest withher imaginary friend.
I get an occasional yeah, uh huh.
Me too. In between gulps.
Not sips, gulps. Of the she's.
(09:17):
Thirsty. She finished both of those she.
Probably ran there and jogged and she's thirsty.
Elf before the food. This is a bonus.
I mean dude, you're getting lucky on a Monday.
And said, do you want to get a regular Margarita Sharp Aaron?
Why not? Waiter brings the 4th picture of
(09:38):
Margarita over with our food. I'm thinking thank God she's
going to eat something and calm it down a little.
It's. $40 worth of margaritas. She's got to be hammered.
You want to give her some creditthough.
She did handle herself very well.
But we started eating and I'm thinking, OK, this is a good
time. I'm on my second one at this
(09:59):
point. I have a little bit of the
original. I didn't even get to touch the
mango in the strawberry. The second strawberry.
I had the first strawberry and we're probably like 5 minutes in
to eat in our entrees. She goes, I'll be right back.
I have to go to the bathroom. Don't you know I just an hour
later, Jimmy Janga? She stands up, starts to go to
the bathroom, falls in the middle of the floor so it's on
(10:22):
air, something you would expect to see in like, America's
Funniest. Home video, yeah.
Bill literally give me the bell face plan this.
Girl's ready to go. I let out a little laugh myself.
I just laughed at thinking. She's ready, but.
Just like everybody else who watched.
They get off and they're like, and I go when I check on her,
she's like, I'm OK. And she goes to the bathroom,
(10:44):
comes back like, I don't know, 5-6 minutes later, her breath
reeks and her makeup's a little watery around her eyes.
She went in here and threw up. It booed a lot.
I'm no dummy, she just went and threw up in the bathroom.
And booed. Worst part is Jimmy Jackson got
this over up at all so she sits back down.
We talked for literally like shelet out about two sentences and
(11:06):
you would have thought you were standing in a field full of
cows. I don't know if that word is
allowed on TikTok but it smelledlike and I couldn't take it
anymore truly. I I told you it's Jimmy Chang
because they go right through you.
It's .12344 or five pitchers of margaritas in.
So I spent 50 bucks on margaritas, had two myself, 2
(11:30):
glasses, not 2 pitchers, chimichangas, fajitas.
And at this point the date is over.
OK. I call our waiter over and I'm
like, hey, excuse me, can we please get boxes in the bill?
He's like, yeah, it was everything.
It's usually like Jimmy John gets to go.
Honestly it was good I only got through one Taco because I was
trying to be a gentleman and wait for her to go back to eat.
(11:51):
But this is very clear. This is going to be eaten on the
couch watching sports, not in this Mexican restaurant
subjecting these poor workers and other guests to whatever is
about to happen. And as I'm trying to get our to
go boxes in our bills. She was No, don't leave.
It's Margarita Monday. I want two more pictures.
(12:14):
Wait there, two more. Yeah, just go.
Yeah, it is. I have to work really, really
early tomorrow, so I'm going to call it a night.
How are you getting home? Yeah, she's going to drive.
Like this? No, you're not.
No, you're not. I'm not having that on my on my
(12:35):
hands whatsoever. So I look at her and it's like
trying to talk to a toddler. And I tell her, Hey, what is
your Uber or what is your address?
Let me order you an Uber. She's like, no.
And I go, you're not driving home.
I fall with her for like 2-3 minutes.
I was like, please let me order you an Uber.
I'm. Calling, Oh my God, this is the
(12:55):
first day and you're fighting with this broad about how she's
going to get home. She's hammered.
A little bit of a scene in the restaurant.
Now, I don't know what the otherguests are thinking, but I'm
just trying to make sure this home girl gets home safe.
She's So eventually after realizing I'm going to lose the
battle with the toddler, I go upto the manager and I'm like hey.
(13:15):
No, at that. At that point, you just leave.
I mean, come on, there's only somuch you can do.
You spend 3 minutes fighting with this broad you just met, by
the way, and she's hammered drunk because it's Margarita
Monday and you paid for the bill.
Just leave, she'll figure it out.
It's not your problem. Go home and brush out your
(13:37):
mustache and eat your other Tacowhile watching football.
Thank you. Next, I got a bizarre new COVID
symptom for you, for the new strain of COVID, because move
over Nimbus stratus has entered the stratosphere.
Oh no, see, there's a new COVID out and just when I hear about
this new COVID, I feel like I'm getting sick too.
(13:58):
So it is I I don't even want to hear about the new COVID.
If you have COVID and you are inthis studio right now with me, I
am going to beat you Jimmy this new.
COVID strain also known. As the brain on you.
G is being called Stratus and ithas a very strange symptom with
(14:19):
it and it's different than Nimbus that has this razor blade
sore throat that we've been seeing.
XFG has been spotted in 38 countries so far, but it's
impossible to know and you're. Not putting the mask back on.
I'm not doing it. Not now, No, No.
How much of the COVID we're seeing actually is that because
we are not doing very much COVIDsurveillance anymore and
(14:42):
certainly not doing. It I do want to stay home.
I did like that. I, I loved the house arrest that
we were on for like a year. That was Goodyear.
Goodyear. I watched the whole Netflix from
beginning to end. I I finished Netflix, that was
so awesome. I didn't shower for like a week
(15:04):
and nobody cared because it was great.
But I'm not wearing a damn mask no more.
When I go, when I go to the store, they're going to put me a
mask. I'm not doing that.
The silver lining here is this strain actually seems to be
protected against with vaccination.
Go ahead and get a booster if you haven't.
(15:25):
Yeah, that's not going to happen.
Another shot. I'm not doing that well.
What happens if you get sick? I don't know.
This is not killing people. You just feel like crap.
Take COVID head. Hold me for long enough.
I tend to get hoarse very easily.
(15:45):
But that's the bizarre new symptom we're seeing.
It's causing laryngitis and. Those are shit.
Does she not know we do a radio show?
Bias simply means inflammation of the larynx and the.
Radio show's going to sound really, really bad if I get this
COVID. Jimmy, do not bring the stamp
COVID into the studio. I'll try not too.
(16:07):
You wear a mask everywhere you go.
Listen, you got to wear a mask. No, I think if I mask you and
you wear a mask all the time then I'm only around you.
So if you mask all it I will be fine.
That you have inflammation of the vocal cords and you have
(16:28):
hoarseness. So if you suddenly develop this,
you should tell I got. To be gone.
God, there's going to be no radio show because I see you're
already getting sick. Oh my God I better not get this
COVID. Thank you.
Next. Did Walmart have fish tanks?
(16:50):
Hold on, let me think. Did Walmart have fish?
Yes, they had a whole section offish tanks.
It all over the Internet. Everybody is asking this
question. Did do did do you whatever.
(17:11):
Did Walmart have fish tanks? Half the people are saying no,
no, Walmart never had fish tanks.
I remember. No, they had fish tanks I think.
Or was that Kmart? I'm so confused.
I don't think Walmart ever had fish tanks.
(17:31):
No, I'm going with the Walmart had fish tanks.
Walmart having fish tank. Oh, Walmart swears up and down.
Oh no, we never had fish tank. Oh, they lie.
They had fish tanks. Dude, I remember your Walmart
stores having fish tanks. So my question to you, we need
to know, we need to settle this argument.
(17:52):
Do you ever remember Walmart having fish tanks?
Yes I do. They had cheap fish.
They had like goldfish and stuffbut it was on the back wall by
the auto part. So it was like fish and then
tires. That's what I remember.
(18:13):
They don't have fish no more, but back in the day they had
fish tanks. I do I do.
They didn't even have gravel on the bottom of the fish tank.
No, they just had fish tanks with even no lights and I think
the fish were like 5 for a dollar or something like that
and it would die in a week. Tank, plastic tank.
(18:36):
Yep. They didn't even have gravel or
decorations of Lansing. Nope.
You just bought goldfish. Do you remember they had Peters
and they had goldfish and I think they had one tank of like
like oh wild fish. I don't know what that is.
Fish. We need to settle this argument.
If Walmart had fish tanks, we need to know Walmart had fish
tanks. Trust me.
(18:58):
Thank you. Next, guys, this throat virus
that's going around. She's talking about the virus,
and every time you talk, every time somebody talks about the
virus, I think I'm getting it. No joke I've been sick for like
2 weeks. 1st. Week it was like normal cold.
I mean not that big of a deal. Thought I was getting better and
(19:21):
then all of a sudden boom it like I felt like I got re sick
and then. God, why does there have to be
other people? You're like, hold on, let me
pray to dude, Jesus, 6 LB four ounce baby Jesus, please make it
so there's no other people in the world, just me and like 10
(19:44):
other people that I kind of likeand get everybody else's.
Get rid of them because they bring COVID and I I don't want
that. And if there was no other people
on earth, freshly born baby Jesus, then I wouldn't get sick.
So get rid of all the other people except for like 10 that I
(20:06):
like. OK, Just you know, the 10 I
like. There's not 11.
There's a do 10. We'll, we'll stay with 10.
So save those 10 and everybody else can go, go to that Epstein
island and just live there. There's a nice place you can
send them there. Painful, but I saw some other
(20:27):
creator on here say that they have the same thing.
Went to the ER. I'm thinking I'm getting it now,
Jimmy, you can't get it through TikTok.
I bet you can. Gee, Gee's going to get me sick.
Told to get children's liquid Motrin.
OK. Children's Liquid Motrin.
(20:47):
Go buy that, Jimmy. Go go to the store right now and
get that before there's a run onthat.
Kind of like the toilet paper. I'll buy lots of toilet paper
too. Toilet paper, Motrin.
What else do we need? Did.
That's all. Thank you.
Next so I need a halt determining if you think this
guy was flirting with. Me.
No, he was not flirting. With you, sometimes I feel like
(21:09):
because of the lack of interest I had from like boys in like
middle school and high school, Inever experienced that right?
I never experienced boys flirting with me because I was
bigger and. Yeah, yeah, if you're bigger
than like 3 girls. So I feel like now as a adult I
(21:30):
sometimes can mistake just people being nice and friendly.
Oh. God, so you can't even be nice
to the Broads. Now when you're nice to the
Broads, they think you're flirting with them.
Flirting, you know. What I mean?
So I'm opening the door for you.Think I'm.
Flirting with you big girls haveexperienced that who have been
(21:52):
big their whole life if you've experienced.
See, Jimmy, don't even be nice so anymore.
But anyway, so I went out in my living room and front porch and
that was it. This morning I quickly made an
appointment with the The HeatingAir Company electric company
that I usually like use which itwas awesome.
(22:13):
Why? Is there a hair on this?
Why is there a hair on this mic?Who's been?
Using this mic he is. This mic right here, who's been
using this Jimmy Nobody, He's sosomebody's been using his mic
because there's a little hair on.
It just his voice. It could be a cat hair.
Love a good like a voice. No, it's not a.
Cat hair look like a pubic hair or.
(22:35):
Something who's been using. His mic right here.
If I like somebody or not? I don't let anybody in the
studio. We're talking or whatever.
He's very old, you know, Look, it's better.
Now breaker. I was just wondering because it
looked weird. Comes up you're.
Like you got some hair off of? It how would you like you got a
noise like. What?
It looks better now but nobody should be using this mic
(22:56):
because. I had said, you know, mics.
Are disgusting because people talking to him oh.
Yeah, I was like and then, well,I mean you.
Got the COVID and then you get the COVID.
Oh, you're not listening into this girl at all?
Now I'm bored with this girl. There's still hair on this mic
right here. There's another hair, right?
Are you sure nobody uses this? Because I swear to God, if
(23:20):
somebody's in here using this mic and I get the COVID because
they're using this mic, I'm going to be so mad.
Did you not listen to that girl at all?
No, I could careless she was. Nobody's flirting with you.
Thank you. Next, I don't know who needs to
hear this, but some people in your life don't actually like
you. Everybody in my life doesn't
(23:42):
actually like me. There's like two people that
like me in this whole world. 3 maybe?
Just like having access to. You.
Yeah. They like having access to me.
They don't like me. And the wild part and.
I'm fine with that. Is they stay close enough to
see? Everything.
If I was in the hospital, three people would come see me.
That's it. No, I wouldn't come see Jimmy
(24:06):
wouldn't come. OK, Two people would come and
see me at the hospital. I don't think anybody because
they don't like me because I'm anod and ice guy.
But never close enough to support anything.
Some of your biggest haters aren't strangers on the
Internet. They're the ones who sit at your
table and smile in your face andget quieter every time something
(24:29):
goes right. So true.
They're not going to come see mein the hospital, are they?
Jen, to the people who only showup when they think you're.
You think your wife would come see you at the hospital?
I'll get back to you on that. They don't want it I.
Don't think so. They want reassurance.
I. Think my son would.
(24:50):
I think both my sons would. That they put you in.
I think that's all. There are people who feel safer
when your life stays predictable, when your
confidence today is low, and when your world stays small
because it keeps them comfortable.
But the moment you start growing, setting boundaries are
(25:11):
simply choosing peace. Suddenly you become different.
Yeah, and they, they won't come see me in a hospital.
Thank you. Next, if you're a man around 50,
would you consider dating a younger woman of 30?
Let me think about that. No, too young.
Or someone your age like me. No, I no, I don't want to date
(25:35):
the 30 year old. No, there's they're wrong.
There's that's wrong. I only want the old rod.
I want the high mileage model. I want the, I want the one
that's out of warranty way the hell out of warranty.
That's what I want. I think you're lying.
No, yes I am. I'll take a 30 year old any day.
(25:57):
Thank you. Next, I'm a psychic medium and
this is another prediction videofor you guys to ring me if you
want to. She's a she's a future seer.
Future Seer. OK so I had a download come
through, I was just in a sessionwith a client and this dropped
in and I feel. Like I'm getting sick.
I feel like I have that COVID thing.
(26:19):
Oh my God, If you bring that in here, if anybody's in this
studio using this mic, I'm goingto beat you, Jimmy.
Is anyone else's hot this kind of listen to this girl?
OK, so she was asking about like, what's going to happen
with the world and in general, Ithink myself and a lot of other
psychic seers are seeing a blackout.
Future Seer. Future seer witch.
(26:41):
She's a witch. Burner.
Kill me. What do you do with witches?
And what you burn. Apart from witches all.
Witches. I see it related to like the
financial stuff and being able to access digital currency,
blah, blah, blah, whatever. While I was looking into this
(27:02):
part of the timeline, what I wasshown is part of this blackout
and part of this like next falseflag thing that we have talked
about before is I saw like what looks like digital if you will,
or invisible like essentially like fencing around certain
States and certain cities so. OK, I, I know what states you
(27:24):
can put a, a fence around. OK, bring that map up Jimmy of
the whole United States and bring the bring up the states
that are that are blue. OK, see, see those states right
there? Those states that are blue?
Yeah, there's not many of them. Yeah, there's not many of them,
(27:44):
but they're they're there. Like this one over here.
What? What state's that?
Oh, that's the Gavin Newscom state.
Oh, yeah, the Gavin Newscom state.
Build a fence around that. What's that over there?
Yes, that's New York. Oh, you got.
Yeah, definitely build a wall around New York.
(28:05):
You don't need them. It's so the blue ones build
fences around them. Like if you're in, if you're in
Michigan and I'm in Washington and something's happening in
Michigan, Washington can't hear about it because there's like
this like veil or a digital fencing around what
communications can. No Michigan.
(28:27):
Michigan's red, so Michigan's OK.
That city. I don't, I don't.
This isn't a full picture that'sbeen made yet, but look at how
fuzzy my little hairs are. I am.
I'm curious to see if we begin to see some implementation in
the same way that they do. Like advertisement, like
fencing. So like if.
You're, you could, you could, you could build a fence around
Florida too. Not, not just because it's red
(28:48):
or blue, it's just because there's no need for Florida.
So to build a build a fence around that and California and
New York are refined. Thank you.
Next. Oh, this might be fun to do on
here. What is your least favorite
moment of the series? He's talking about The Sopranos.
Oh, my least favorite moment on The Sopranos.
(29:11):
OK. Rather, what's your most hated
moment of the series? The.
Hated moment of the series was the end because there was no
more after that. Being honest with yourself
'cause there's some there's someterrible little moments in there
of nobody's fault but the actorsusually.
So I've I have one and 1 1/2. Absolutely, bring yours and I'll
(29:33):
see if I agree. Most hated is Nancy Sinatra or
what's her face? Yes, Sinatra singing to Phil
Terrible. It's just a music.
That was horrible. Video just to feature her and
sell the album she had coming out around then.
Awful decision. The second one has one of my
most hated moments, but then oneof my most loved moments it's
(29:53):
that concert when with the girl singer and it's just a music
video for a few minutes, but it's utterly it.
It saves itself because who doesit?
Cut to arty in the crowd doing this.
Yeah, I, I don't remember that. I don't like the Tony dad old
lady that came back. I I don't wish she had the hat
(30:15):
from the Kennedy. I didn't like that part.
That's the only part I didn't like.
That and the ending. Everything else, brilliant.
Freaking Sopranos. Brilliant.
Thank you. Drive through.
I could have fulfilled this man's all of his fantasies.
We even talked about that all I had to do was be nice to me.
(30:38):
OK, but that's hard 'cause you probably were a biatch.
Make me on some dates he fumble me so bad I feel bad for him.
Even when you. Feel.
Yeah. Well, you're nice to him.
I mean, you could have been, like, mean anyone.
I don't need this. I mean, you're hot.
But you're not. Bad hot go.
So be nice to him and it'll be nice to you.
(31:00):
I guess I don't know. I don't know what I'm even
talking about. I I'm going to sleep now.
I think I'm getting sick.