Alexine Cleans: Barely Fiction
Along with her own financial chaos, Amy Sharp had a 14 year old son hellbent on trying every street drug he could find. In an attempt to save her sanity, she started writing a story about the inner world of a woman like herself, living on the BC coast while her reality rippled and rolled._______ A year later, she had a professionally edited 93,000 word manuscript. After more twists and turns, she got a grant from Canada Media Fund to create the first episode in video.______ Alexine's sex positive story is heavy on grit, light on vanilla, peppered with F-bombs and a few juicy sex scenes. The purpose of the project is to uplift working class women over 40, not just moms but all those everyday heroes of every colour, through levity and examples of strength. _____ Written, narrated and produced by Amy Sharp https://alexinereads.com Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/ _______ Reviews: It was over too quickly, left me wanting to hear more. I love it. - Natasha | Delightful Doula. ____ That was great - congratulations - your sense of humour is wonderful - good luck with this - Wayne | Happy Grandpa. ____ Alexine Cleans will leave you in stitches! Her brazen honesty and unabashed inner-dialogue is like a refreshing drink from a cold glacial stream. Her humanity shines through and reminds us that there is beauty and humour in the every day moments. - Alix K. | Tough City Sister.____ More reviews that are specifically for the video version of Episode 1 which has the same audio as the podcast: --link to that YouTube vid in this podcast's Episode 1 show notes-- _____ It’s so cute and funny and unexpected. The formatting is like nothing I’ve ever seen before, gives it a bit of a live-comic book feeing to it. This is truly innovative and super original and fun. - Tessa N. | Acupuncturist & hawt momma.____ Alexine is a transparently honest, ribald romp of an experience that not one woman who has either been there or almost been there should miss. Whether you can relate or not, this book brings the reader into the mighty fold of a bright, witty woman being real on a level like no one else can claim. And it's animated with sound! Best kind of vicarious cleaning fun you can have in your own comfy armchair life. You'll wish Alexine was your best friend. -Marcine P. | Badass, Vilcabamba Ecuador.____ You have a great way to tell a story, very appealing! I love the illustrations; you guys sure worked out some kick ass eye catchers! -Zane S. | Broadcaster, Vancouver Island._____ I am stoked to see your project realized, it is so good and true and raw! I also see this being a great basis for a dramady-sitcom, with a lot of banging flashbacks, maybe a web series? -Colin R. | dog lover_____ The first chapter of Alexine Cleans was funny, witty, and intriguing. The visuals are something I've never seen before and they were awesome! It's inspiring to hear her story and I can't wait to watch the rest! - Chantal S | superstar
Episodes
Alexine gives you the nitty gritty on cleaning; it's more interesting than you might expect. She brags about her new arrangement for hair care.
She gets into the dollars and (non) cents of her (soon to be EX) boss' business.
She describes the right time and place to get a cocaine habit.
SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat, and Freesound.org;
Specifically: WolfieRankin, ShimSewn, Reitanna, HeyMelzy
Alexine lets her hair down and has some FUN with her friend Sheen, another 'double bubble'! The rockabilly world is working for them both.
She pontificates on the sexiness of women in all sizes.
She manages to get through another day of cleaning while hung-the-fuck-over.
SFX: from Artlist, Zapsplat, and Freesound.org;
Specifically:
Gaiterjay, LeeMuffin, RomanHoltwick, SystemShock, OwlStorm, Tom...
Alexine introduces us to some of her fav classic podcasts and explains what it's like to hear Americans talk about things now that she lives outside of the States; Dear Gawd.
She compares the beloved Dyson stick vac with old-school carpet suckers.
She shares a true poo confession and her frustration with dog-fuckers.
And elaborates on a few feats from her glory days before being fired at the Resort.
Then starts...
Alexine tells us more than we want to know about her should pain relief and having a 'moment' on a massage table.
Her love for dog breasts, yes, dog breasts.
And we hear about the first time she took her 14 year old son Harvey to the hospital after a reaction to his latest drug of choice.
SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat, and Freesound.org;
Specifically: innominatus, ertfelda, tourismandhospital...
Alexine introduces us to a couple of cleans in luxury homes; one is stark and cold, the other is cluttered and cozy.
She compares her pained body to the ladies of these grand properties.
She finds friendship with Cairo, the family dog, even if her shoulders pay the price.
SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat, and Freesound.org;
Specifically: zaku18, matrixxx.
Credit:
eerie choir, 2001: Space Odyssey
Alexine reflects on what exactly ruined the perfect bulge, that whole soul mate idea and yet another level of self care.
The likelihood of a 'lipless wonder'... is that even possible?!?
Oh and ball trimmers...
I used a few seconds of Capricho Arabe by Nylon Bliss and added the entire song at the end of the episode because it's incredible and you will LOVE it!
SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat, an...
Alexine gets real about body image, Facebook dating, sexual attraction and arousal when you're over 50.
And yes, that's Bigfoot serving her and her coffee date... check it out!
Again, brace yourself!
Artlist music:
Temperatura - Yarin Primak
Northern Lights - Borden Lulu
Think About Lights - Ben Fox
Afterparty - Balloon Planet
SFX: Zapsplat, Artlist, freesound.org, moviesou...
Alexine has a tasty experience while cruising the deli section.
She tells you about some of the wide variety of characters that she cleans for.
And oh, then there's Apollo... just wait til you hear about him!
Credit:
What What - Brick City Kids
How Do You Want It - 2Pac
I'm Alright - Mop Top
Street Dreams - Nas
Gin and Juice - Snoop Dogg - performed by Richard Cheese
Artlis...
Alexine shares her current car woes, looks back on childhood beaters and wonders whether or not backyard mechanics need penises or not.
This episode's artwork shows her in her home away from home; ready to launch a wad of what? And you'll find out about her handy friend who now sports a penis.
Wow, that's a lot of penises in an episode description.
Credit:
The Princess Bride movie
Artl...
This episode takes you from sex toys to YouTuber Angry Grandpa to big fat buds...
Alexine is tantalized by her friend's tasty sex life while she plows on through her new 'career' choice. She eludes to her son and his choices of YouTubers.
You can view the visual / video version of this episode here.
You will need to sign into your YouTube account and confirm that you are 18+ because of this episode&apos...
This episode takes you from The Zohan to Joey Diaz to The Revenant...
Find out about Alexine's humble digs, her beloved old dog and her love of getting crafty!
Learn more about her son Harvey and his own story telling skills.
<<<if you listened to this episode (#3) on Spotify and you're wondering where #2 is, then Spotify still doesn't like the censored version of the artwork. Follow this link t...
This episode takes you from Dexter's Doakes to Suicidal Tendencies to penny pinching...
Alexine gets fired from her management job and starts a not-so-glamourous chapter of her life on the beautiful BC coast.
#makemoistgreatagain
A YouTube video of this first episode was created thanks to a grant from Canada Media Fund / TeleFilm.
You can view the visual / video version of this episode here. ....
&l...
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