April 29, 2025 • 53 mins
What if your hardest losses could become the turning point for your greatest healing? In today’s episode, I sit down with licensed therapist, integration specialist and Grief on Purpose founder Laura Walton to talk about how grief can be a sacred invitation into deeper growth, healing, and spiritual awakening. She shares her story of loss, how to stay connected with loved ones after death, and the daily practices that can help you turn pain into purpose. We also dive into plant medicine, healing work, and MORE. Get ready to alchemize your hardest seasons into your greatest growth!
00:00 Meet Laura Walton and the story behind Grief on Purpose.
07:30 Why grief needs to be normalized and not rushed.
12:30 One practice to move grief through your body.
18:45 The dream visitation that changed Laura’s view of life after death.
23:00 The realization that changed how Laura sees healing forever.
30:30 Why proper integration after spiritual experiences is critical.
35:00 What are your upcoming projects?
38:00 Three things to support yourself through a hard season.
42:15 How to know when it’s time to intervene for someone else.
50:45 How do we begin to rewrite the story of grief?
RESOURCES + LINKS
Upcoming retreats and how to work with Chrissy: chrissymay.com
Laura Walton: griefonpurpose.com
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Chrissy May: @thechrissymay
Laura Walton: @grief.on.purpose
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Website for more information: ChrissyMay.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
How have things changed for you since your
ceremony last year?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
It felt like a shedding away of all of the
layers that over the past 40plus years of my life that have
just been layered on.
You know, as they do, living ahuman life where you forget the
truth of who you are.
I was just trying to navigatethis world that I wasn't
prepared for, I didn't ask forand I seemed to be the only one
in this world at the time.
(00:25):
Even getting out of bed andwalking to your kitchen, like
sometimes, that's it.
For sure, that's all we can do,but any kind of movement is
helpful in moving the energy ofgrief that wants to move.
There are some very basic,simple things we can do with
that to take care of ourselvesand in doing that that teaches
(00:45):
our body that we're actuallysafe, even though this really
terrible thing has happened.
Tell me.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
How do we do that?
Yeah, so you are listening tothe Aligned and Alive podcast
with Chrissy May, where wediscuss the various aspects of
spirituality and wellness.
A place where you can findguidance and a space to explore
your life's meaning and purpose,allowing you to become
(01:10):
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(02:15):
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(02:36):
If so, then join us in Greecethis September.
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Now back to the show.
Welcome back all you, beautifulsouls, to another episode of
Aligned and Alive.
I am so honored you're heretoday, because today's episode
(02:58):
is going to land deep in yourheart, especially if you've ever
navigated grief, felt lost onyour healing journey.
Who hasn't or wondered how paincould ever lead to power?
My guest today is a licensedmental health therapist, clinic
coach and author.
She's the founder of Grief onPurpose, a transformational
(03:19):
movement that's redefining howwe walk through loss.
After losing her father at 21and her boyfriend at 26, she's
turned her own grief into apowerful invitation to help
others reclaim their voice,their power and their healing,
including her own healingjourney.
This conversation is sacred.
We talk about honoring theshadow, turning pain into
(03:41):
purpose and creating dailyrituals that support deep
transformation.
My guest doesn't just talkabout grief, she alchemizes it
into something holy.
So grab your tea, light acandle, take a breath and let's
dive deep into this beautiful,raw and empowering conversation
with the beautiful Laura Walton.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Hi, hi, I love that intro.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Thank you so much for being here, yeah.
It's been a minute I feel likeI just saw you, though I know.
So we're going to start thiswhole segment journey into,
let's call it, the sacredinvitation of loss, because
that's a big part of your story.
So, I'm going to have you goback and just walk us through
those early moments of yourjourney, losing your father,
then your boyfriend and thenwhat awakened inside you through
(04:26):
that heartbreak.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
I was in my 20s for both of them, and so I was so
young and, I think, just foundmyself completely unprepared for
what had happened.
There was nobody else in myworld, my 20-year-old world, who
had experienced something likethat, and so I was just trying
to navigate this world that Iwasn't prepared for, I didn't
(04:49):
ask for and I seemed to be theonly one in this world at the
time.
So I think that experience ofjust being so alone, but yet in
something I knew, knowing we alldie at some point, so this is
going to be something we allexperience on some level, still
being aware of that thatcontrast just felt so wrong and
(05:13):
strange to me that that was,that that was my reality, and I
think, even in those reallyearly days of grief, that like
planted a seed in me that thisis, this is weird and stupid,
that there's not this supportfor something that we're all
going to experience, and thenthat started the path, my path,
(05:35):
I think, of working morepersonally and professionally
with that.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Right Now did you start?
Were you a therapist prior tothe passing of your boyfriend?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
No, I was, I was.
I wasn't doing much with mylife at that time, so he really
became the catalyst for yougoing into this entire new
profession.
Yes, yeah, wow, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah, and you were at 20, how old were you 26?
I was 26 when he died.
Okay, so 26,.
You now enter back into college.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Is this how?
I'm just trying to see?
Yeah, I went to grad schoolabout five years after his death
.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Wow, okay, yeah, and what did that look like?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
I mean, that's really pretty heavy when you think
about you're not just going backto grad school, you're going
back to grad school and stillmourning the loss of your
boyfriend yeah, at that point Ididn't do it right away, I think
it was about five years after,probably.
So I had time to process it tosome degree, you know, make
(06:32):
sense of it, recognize that thiswas my new reality and to
determine, at least at thatpoint, like what the next, what
my next steps would be going tograd school.
So by the time I think Iactually enrolled in school I
was I was definitely a littlemore grounded than I would have
(06:54):
been immediately following hisdeath and just knowing that this
, this was what was happening.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, did you have.
I know you shared with mepreviously the depth of that
relationship.
You know, I think when we thinkof like 26-year-olds, we're
like oh, it's just young loveand all the things, but yours
was pretty deep from what weshared.
Even the level of you know, forthose listening and watching.
You know we talk about twinflames and you know there's
karmics, twin flames, soulmates,all the things out there, and
(07:20):
twin flames are a very powerful,rich connection.
And I think that you shared withme that you felt he was a twin
flame of yours.
I think so.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
And I'm not even really sure what the definition
of twin flames would be.
But when I met him, which waswhen I was 18, there was just
something that the first momentI saw him there was just
something.
It wasn't I don't think it waslike an attraction, but I think
it was just something like aphysical attraction.
I think, it was just somethingthat was like I know him um it's
(07:51):
hard to put into words,especially coming from such a
young perspective.
um, but there was just someconnection of I already knew him
before I knew him and then wehad we again.
We were young and dramatic, asyoung people are, in our 20s so
(08:13):
but there was something like wecouldn't stay away from each
other, like there was some kindof pull I think you know
speaking for him, but betweenthe two of us where we just kept
, even if we would break up.
We just kept going back andforth.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
And then since he's died, which has now been 18
years, I've still felt thatconnection in a different way,
right, well, which is the reasonwhy I brought it up, because
Laura has shared the story withme at one of the retreats I
hosted and I just felt it was.
I think the reason I share thatis because it's oftentimes
harder to navigate not that anydeath is easy, but it's even
(08:48):
harder when you have that realdeep soul level connection and
just being able to have thoseafter death experiences that
come still sit with you longafter the grief is over, right,
which is really, in a way, verytherapeutic too, to have that to
have that experience.
So tell us how grief on purposethen came about.
(09:09):
Was there a lightning moment,or was it just more of like a
slow awakening that it came tobe?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
It's been an ever evolution over the past 20 years
probably.
But it initially looked like megoing to grad school because I
thought as a therapist I couldsupport people in the ways that
I wasn't able to find throughgrief, which I did and have done
(09:36):
a lot of.
But I also got to a pointwithin my therapy practice at
least how it was structured atthat time that I was feeling
confined and kind of trapped ina box of only being able to meet
with limited amounts of peoplebut also only being able to talk
about certain things and onlybeing able to do certain things
that fit within that therapy box.
(09:56):
And so as I started feelingstuck in that and knowing that
there was more, there wasgreater reach that I could have,
I started to consider a lot ofdifferent ways that that could
look, and that was probablywhere the grief on purpose
really started to take flight.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
And it became this movement if you will.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Just education on grief,resources on grief, normalizing
grief, talking about grief,doing things like this that just
make it normal to have thoseconversations.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
So what's normal?
Look like, Like?
What does that look like whensomeone's really still going
through it?
So say, it's a really heavyseason of their life right now
and they just can't seem to.
I don't even want to use theword shake it, but do you know
what I?
mean Really shake that weight ontheir shoulders.
I lost my father in 2022.
I've been able to move on.
I still carry him with me.
(10:48):
Friends of mine who've losttheir parents.
They can move on from that.
But what if it's somethingreally heavy, like someone loses
their child, someone loses ahusband, a wife.
How do you navigate?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
that you said what if they're in this place where
they just really can't?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
shake it.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Like, for that time, that's normal, that's their
normal and that's okay andthere's not a need to.
And I think it can becomeproblematic when we try to rush
out of that or change that.
It's uncomfortable for us whenwe're the ones experiencing it
and also for the people in ourlives who are witnessing that,
(11:26):
to see when, when people arekind of, when they appear to be
at least like stuck in it ordrowning in it.
But that's part of theexperience.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
so you're saying like let somebody sit in that yeah
that moment.
But isn't there a time andspace to where it's like, okay,
come on now.
Now we have a life.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Well, I think that will naturally unfold in some
way for each person.
It's obviously going to lookdifferent for every person, but
if people are allowed and giventhe space to sit in the
discomfort and learn how to bewith that instead of being
rushed out of it, it doesn'tlast forever.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Oh, good point, because what came to mind right
now was when you just said ifthey can learn to sit in the
discomfort, this is great,because this doesn't mean
numbing right, you know,escapism, all the things that we
tend not everyone, but a lot ofpeople tend to slip into in
these really dark times, likewhether it's alcohol, drugs,
(12:27):
maybe constant plant medicine,ceremonies, right, I mean, like
all the things, sex shopping.
You know, there's so many waysyou can escape, and so that was
a key point.
I just heard you say like wecan sit in the discomfort,
because that makes a lot ofsense then, because you can't
just sit in discomfort forever.
But you can sit or you canescape into discomfort for a
(12:48):
very long time, if not forever.
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
You can escape from discomfort?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Yes, Meaning like an addiction.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yes, absolutely and definitely in the forms of all
the things you just listed off.
But even that can be in theforms of your friends Meaning
well of, of course, but beinglike you know it's time to move
on with your life, or let's goout tonight, or you know,
whatever it happens to be like,it's okay for those things to
happen on occasion, but ifthat's happening all the time,
(13:19):
then then the person who'sgrieving is never given the
opportunity to actually sit inthe discomfort yeah, no, that
makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
It actually feels more comforting to know that if?
You can just have a mustardseed of just courage to go
through the period of discomfort.
You know you're going to comeout of it at some point in time.
Yeah, Didn't say it was goingto be easy.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
It's not going to be easy, but at some point you can
get there.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
What are some practices.
If you will or I don't evenwant to call them strategies I
guess that you can recommend forsomebody to help really guide
them through this.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
So for me, my yoga practice was by far the number
one thing, but it was my yogapractice as it relates to the
physical practice of yoga butalso the study of yoga, which is
much greater than just thephysical poses, the physical
practice of yoga and it doesn'thave to be yoga, but any kind of
like movement or connectionwith your body.
We hold this stuff in our body.
We hold traumas, we holdemotions, we certainly hold
grief in our bodies, and so ifthere's any way that we're able
(14:19):
to move that energy physically,that helps.
Even just like walking, evenjust walking, yeah, even just
walking.
Even just two stretches on yourbedroom floor, right, even,
just even.
This sounds maybe extremesometimes, but not if you're
grieving.
But even getting out of bed andwalking to your kitchen
Sometimes, that's it For sure,that's all we can do, but any
(14:42):
kind of movement is helpful inmoving the energy of grief that
wants to move.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
And I like that now that you're speaking even more,
I'm like it's not just grief anddeath, it's grief and just
maybe divorce or maybe loss of ajob or financial hardship or
whatever.
There's grief in everythingright, it's not just dying.
So, yeah, that's applicable toeverything in your life to move
forward.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's grief in everything and
I think sometimes in myexperience in working with it,
when we're talking about griefas it relates to a death, all
the other past griefs,grievances, whatever the plural
is, all the other past griefsthat maybe feel less minor, like
a divorce or a move or whatever, but those can feel so much
(15:28):
more magnified when a big onehappens, when a death happens,
if those have never beenprocessed before.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Good point, Right?
So this is why it's soimportant to find some sort of
practice and outlet to move yourbody to stay connected.
So when life does happen,you're able to navigate it with
a little bit more grace and ease.
So moving forward from grief onpurpose.
I know you've had a few shiftsin your life.
Let's explore Laura, becauseLaura has been through her own
(15:59):
healing journey and I thinkthat's one thing that's so
beautiful about life is that youknow where we start, isn't
where we end, and I know thatsounds so you know, obvious and
cliche, but it's true, like ifyou choose to follow your soul
and your mission and your pathand lean into it, a lot of
beautiful things can come out ofthat.
And, unexpectedly, that younever found yourself in Right,
(16:20):
and so if you wouldn't mindsharing just what journey you've
been on the last six to eightmonths specifically, that has
helped you shift in a lot ofways.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, it's been a life-altering one for sure.
I laugh a little bit justbecause it's kind of like what
journey didn't happen in thelast six to eight months, but
for me my grief was the doorwayinto everything.
(16:49):
I think it's even fair to saythat I still do now, 20 years
later, as it relates to like myinterests and my curiosities.
I wasn't raised with anyreligion and I really just never
, was never fostered in me, andso I never took the time to like
(17:11):
question anything or questionmy belief system or question who
I was um, or question what Ibelieved, until I was forced to
do it with the deaths thathappened, and then I was just
like wait, but what?
Where are they?
You know there was no.
There was no clear cut,comfortable answer.
Not to say that we ever come toa comfortable answer, but the
point being is that just forcedme to really dive deep into
(17:36):
trying to understand things formyself.
So that has still continued allthese years later.
In the things I'm drawn to, thethings I'm interested in, the
experiences I seek out in justhaving a deeper understanding of
myself and then us as humansand us in living our lives and
what that means and what that is, because I have felt I've been
(18:08):
able to maintain this connectionwith my boyfriend and with my
dad who died.
I've maintained a connectionwith them after their death in
different forms and that'salways been really interesting
and curious.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
What does that look like?
Gosh, you have me curious now.
I love these stories too.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Yeah, it's feeling their presence in different ways
.
With my dad it has been lessobvious than with my boyfriend.
So my dad's birthday was onChristmas, and the first
Christmas after he died I hadthis dream that was just like
nothing I've ever experiencedbefore, even to this day, in
(18:38):
that it was just like the mostreal thing that you could
imagine it would be like ussitting here having this
conversation.
I've had those before.
Yeah, but he was he just it wasquick.
He came to me, he gave me a hugand he said I'll see you again
and that was it.
But it just shift.
That was the first.
I was 21 at that time, and sothat was the first experience I
(18:59):
had where I was like is theresomething more?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
that I don't know about.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
You know, the first thing that kind of opened my
eyes a little bit to thatpossibility, which planted a
seed.
And then when my boyfriend died, when I was 26, in the
immediate days, weeks, maybeeven months after his death,
there were so many things thathappened with electricity Like I
(19:25):
wish I had written them downbecause I can't remember all of
them right now.
But just everywhere I went, thelights would go out.
Everywhere I went, phones wouldring and nobody would be there
or nobody would be on the otherend, like dogs barking at
nothing.
There were just so many thingsthat happened in that immediate
aftermath of his death thatthese'm these can't all be
(19:47):
coincidences.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
So prior to this, did you have any belief that there
was life after death?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I had this little inkling of the seed that had
been planted with the dream,with my dad, but that was it.
I had.
No, I didn't really have anybeliefs about it Interesting, I
had never thought about it.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Interesting.
Yeah, never thought like at all.
All no discussions at all.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
like grandpas didn't pass on our grandmas like yeah
both sets of my grandparents haddied, but it was just like they
died and that's it.
No, being not raised in areligious household, it wasn't.
It just wasn't a part ofconversation in normal life.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
So these two important humans in your life
become just like the catalystfor your literally your
spiritual journey.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Awakening yes.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely so.
I was feeling all of those well, not feeling, but seeing and
sensing all of the electricalstuff happening.
And then I started to just feelthis sense of him.
I remember the first real timeI was it was maybe three months
after he died and I was drivingand I felt his presence in my
(20:53):
passenger seat and it didn'tfeel bad, it didn't feel scary,
it didn't feel weird, it justfelt like he was in the flesh,
sitting there and I just wenthey, you're here and I just felt
it.
You know what?
I was trying to explain this tosomebody once, kind of recently
, and they had a good way offraming it that I hadn't thought
about, in that you know, whensomebody's alive and you're
(21:16):
around them, you kind of knowwhat their energy feels like
right, it was that, like I wasable, I remembered his energy
because it was still so recentand I just felt that right there
and that's so true, like theyeven done studies on this too.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Like where because I'm so fascinated by life after
death and I have been for yearsbut like when they pop in like
that, it's not like you'rethinking about them it's like
you're going about your day,you're doing your thing and then
boom, just like that, they,they're there, their energy's
there.
Yeah, I've had that experienceso many times.
It's pretty fascinating.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
And it's also heartwarming too at the same
time.
Yeah, so that has continued onin varying degrees over the last
18 years.
It still does, yeah, wow.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Now this is the other flip side.
Now has it gotten more intensebecause you've done so much more
healing work.
The last, even the last, likeeight months.
You've done a lot of stuff andyou can share those practices
and ceremonies and experiencesif you'd like.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I don't think my connection with him has gotten
more intense.
Okay, I actually think maybeit's gotten less intense, and I
don't.
I wonder if I did a sessionwith somebody a few years ago
who I think she called herself amedical medium and she said
this Nobody else had ever saidthis to me up until this point
(22:36):
in time, but she said somethinglike I think he's getting ready
to come into a new life and Iwas like what?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
He's leaving me again .
How dare you?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah, but it literally took my breath away
for a moment.
But then I was like wait, andby that point it had been over
10 years, you know.
So I'm like, well, of course,you know, of course he would.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
then you know but.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I just hadn't thought about it in those terms.
So that's where I think hemight be in a new life now.
So that connection isn't as inyour face and strong as it was,
as it had been, but I think it'sstill there and my
understanding of it and throughall the things you kind of
(23:23):
referenced a second ago, all thethings I've been doing for
myself and on my own terms, it's, it's okay, you know, I have a
greater understanding that Idon't need him tagging along
with me for the rest of my life.
Um, rightfully so.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
yeah, yeah it would be hard to think too, because
now you're you're in otherrelationships.
Yeah, yeah, like sorry honey,I'm just kind of still thinking
about, yeah, yeah, make it tough.
So what has it been now, likethe last um year of your journey
, where you've felt a real shift?
Because I mean, I was able tosee you last year and and it was
just so powerful I mean in reallife seeing it it was just
(24:06):
unbelievably powerful.
How have things changed for yousince your ceremony last year?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, so I think up until then I'd been seeking,
seeking, seeking, seekingeverything.
And at some point that had comein the form of grad school, at
some points that had come in theform of different clinical
trainings I'd done.
At some points that had comemore in the form of grad school,
at some points that had come inthe form of like clinical,
different clinical trainings.
I've done, at some point, somepoints that I'd come more in the
form of different likeceremonies, plant medicine stuff
, recreational substances, youknow all all the things.
(24:35):
But just like this seeking,seeking, seeking of something,
but I didn't quite know what andwhat, everything I found it was
never the right answer, rightum, which, if I'm being honest,
is probably what led me to to dothe seeking, what led me to um
do the retreat that we did wasanother thing that I was seeking
(24:56):
um.
but through that experience, onthat retreat, it was it felt
like a shedding away of all ofthe layers that over the past 40
plus years of my life that havejust been layered on.
You know, as they do living ahuman life where you forget the
(25:17):
truth of who you are, like it,just one layer after the next,
just it felt like it wasshedding off and I came to this
experience of realization of Idon't know quite the right
terminology, but just of I amGod.
Coming from somebody who's notreligious who's never believed
(25:37):
in a God, never had thatexperience, and I'm fully aware
of say this to the wrong person.
You're crazy, right, but likewhat this sounds like, but that
was the truth of it, and it wasa different experience of just
like being like, yeah, you know,a cognitive, yeah, that'd be
cool if I was God, but this,like full body, this is just
(25:58):
truth.
You know, when you know, whenyou just like know something to
be true in your body.
That's what it was.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I think that's so beautiful because if someone's
listening right now and is like,well, that sounds really
egotistical, because I just knowhow people respond, and
especially for those that dohave a religious background or
are Christian, I'm Christian andwhen I heard Laura give that
explanation, I thought it was sobeautiful, if you really listen
to what that sounds like,because, if you want to put it
into other terms, it's God'swithin us.
(26:26):
Yeah, we are created in theimage of God, so you can
actually apply that to so manydifferent understandings, right,
and that's why I thought it wassuch a beautiful thing for you
to actually witness that,because you have zero background
in religious upbringing orpractice and to have that
realization.
What, to me, it does is itbridges us all into one, which
(26:47):
is we are all one, yeah, andthere's no separation.
You know, this is how we cometogether in communities and
support systems and when youshow up and we love and serve
and support one another likethat is what we are here for on
this human experience, and sothat's you know.
I love that you explained thatbecause it's true.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yeah, yeah, and thank you for clarifying that,
because it wasn't just I am God,it was that we all are, it's
all within there, but toactually like feel that to be
true, was such a shift.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Yeah, it is.
You start.
I mean you can tell me how yourexperience was, but like, when
you come out of it you're likewhat is this all for?
Can tell me how your experiencewas, but like, when you come
out of it you're like what isthis all for?
Like, all the things I give somuch importance to is
meaningless.
It's not a big deal.
Yeah, you know, when you lookat the, yeah, when you can zoom
out and look at the biggerpicture and actually feel in it
(27:38):
like be embody it.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
It's just, it's a powerful way to start living
life from from that from thatplace yeah, and the duality of
that that was that duality thingreally came up for me in my
experience too, because it wasit was the week after the
election, so the world was likejust kind of in like what's
happening, you know, andeverybody's on one side or the
other and seems to hate theother person, so that, you know,
(28:03):
just existed in the world andexisted in my awareness, I guess
, at the time of this experienceand as I was more thinking
about things in a more rationallevel, that existed and also
this experience of being God,being part of this greater
(28:24):
consciousness, existed at thesame time, so I could understand
the importance of all of ourreal world matters and they are
important and also they're notat all important.
And I lived for a few minutes,however long it was.
I lived in that duality, ofboth of those being true.
So how was your integrationpart from that?
Now you leave the retreat andyou're going back into the quote
unquote real world right.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Duality of both of those being true.
So how did, how was yourintegration part from that when
you, you know, now you leave theretreat and you're going back
into the quote-unquote realworld right?
Yeah that's a 3D matrix.
Yeah, how was?
Speaker 2 (28:53):
that for you.
It's hard, yeah, it's hard andI'm still navigating that um,
but I mean coming just just one,just driving back into a big
city with traffic and people,I'm like wait a second, what's
happening here?
And I remember thinking, yeah,how does one go from that
(29:15):
transition of being like I amGod, I know, you know, I am God,
you are God Having that, totraffic?
You know, how do we make thattransition?
And it was hard to do and thatis actually part of the recent
shift that I was talking aboutand that's becoming more of a
(29:36):
focus of the work that I'm doingwithin my therapy practice.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Tell us more about that.
Yeah, I'd love to.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah, in supporting people, working with people who
have had some very profoundshift, whether Tell us more
about that world is rocked inthe sense that their perspective
is completely changed, but yetthey still have all you know,
(30:07):
they still have groceries to buyand they still have their
mortgage to pay.
You know all of those normallife things figuring out how to
navigate that, and that youcan't just talk to anybody about
this stuff either, right, um,without being um judged in some
way we were just talking aboutthat earlier today too.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
When you really go deep into this world, it's a
whole different level.
And then also learning how tobalance that new awareness into
what has been for so long.
How do you now go from here?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
to there, right, it's so different.
Yeah, it's hard and I know thatit's.
As a therapist.
I know that that type ofsupport there isn't a lot out
there.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
No.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
You know, if somebody's just like I need
therapy, I'm going to look forthis.
You're probably not going tofind it.
There's not a lot of thatsupport, so I'm focusing more on
that being the therapeutic work.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I love that you're doing that.
That is so needed right now,especially in a world right now
where plant medicine is becomingso prevalent and mainstream
right, everyone's now likereally waking up to the
potential and benefits of it.
Can you take us down that partof it?
So you are a mental healththerapist In your professional
(31:25):
opinion?
Do you feel that this reallyshould become more mainstream
for patients that are eithersuicidal, going through
depression really deep, you knowdark times Like would you now,
knowing what you know, guidethat or recommend?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
that I think it has a lot of potential if it's done
well and if it's done with theright support, right From what I
see thus far, as it is becominga little bit more In some areas
it's a little bit more common,but I also see a lot of places
(32:03):
where it's not being done well.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Give us an example.
So people I mean I understandwhat you're getting at.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
But just at least you know, in our state ketamine is
legal for therapeutic use, andso there are a lot of clinics
that are offering ketaminetherapy.
But what that ketamine therapylooks like is they're just
hooking you up to machine andyou're in a room by yourself and
for an hour or whatever, andthen you go home and that's it.
There's no support after notmuch.
(32:31):
I mean everywhere.
Some places are doing itdifferently, so this isn't
exclusive to everywhere, butI've seen and I've heard from
people have experienced it.
Um, not great things, just asfar as like.
It's like have this experienceand then go figure it out on
your own.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
And then come back for more.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Yeah, come back for more.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
I mean great business right.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
In some cases I've heard Get addicted to ketamine.
Yeah, that's creating a newaddiction.
Yeah, correct.
So I think there's potentialfor that to be a transformative
thing, but I don't.
In a lot of cases, I don'tthink we as individuals can just
learn Because, as I was saying,you have this experience, then
you go back to your job and howdo those two mix?
And if we don't have thatsupport of figuring that out and
(33:13):
integrating it, I think there'salso potential for it to do
more harm than good.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
I agree, and I've seen it in cases where people
haven't had the properintegration after.
I mean, you brought up a greatexample ketamine, which is so
huge right now, but even plantmedicine ceremonies, and whether
that's just psilocybin orwhether it's ayahuasca or bufo
or combo.
I mean there's so many of thesethings out right now that can
(33:37):
serve a beautiful purpose, right.
I mean, you and I both haveexperienced many of those.
But if you're not properlyintegrating it and having the
support, to do that.
It's like the wild wild west.
I mean you don't know whatyou're going to get or what
Pandora's box you're opening ifyou don't have that proper
support after your experience.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Yeah, yeah, and I think sometimes with those
experiences, as you know, theybring up things that are
uncomfortable that are hard andif we don't have as to tie it
back to our earlier conversationif we don't have somebody who
can help us sit with thediscomfort, we already have a
million ways to escape it.
Million and one yeah,absolutely yeah.
(34:20):
So that can become even, Ithink, feed more, even into that
negative cycle.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
So you are.
I'm so happy to hear thatyou're going in this direction.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
I didn't know this.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
I just learned this on this.
Like literally, she sat in thechair.
She's like I need to talk toyou.
I'm going in a differentdirection.
I love that you're doing this,because this is what we need
right now.
We need more professionals outthere supporting what people are
already going to do.
Let's be honest, right, it's afad right now.
Everyone's talking about it,but who's holding the right
(34:51):
containers, who's really holdingand guiding accordingly and
sitting in high integrity whiledoing so?
Yeah, so I just think it's sucha a hopefully so many more will
follow suit.
Yeah, and really, you know, bethat light that we need.
Yeah, um, and I say lightbecause if you don't, you're
going to experience a reallyheavy darkness um, if you can't
(35:16):
get out of that, that cycle,yeah.
So, yeah, I'm thinking rightnow to somebody.
I just I can't really speak onit, but when there are bad
experiences, who's going toguide that human out of that bad
experience?
Yeah, as you mentioned, it canbe worse for them.
So now are you opening up apractice here locally in
Scottsdale just for this support, or is it going to be like
(35:40):
telemedicine, or is it just inperson?
Speaker 2 (35:43):
It's going to be an evolution of the therapy
practice I've already had, butI'm kind of instead of because
for so long it's been focusingon grief, which, again, that was
my doorway in and that might besome other people's doorway in.
But instead of beingexclusively focused on grief,
it's going to be focusing onthis as well.
It may evolve into somethingthat's more of a coaching
(36:05):
instead of therapy, so that canbe done over telehealth and that
can be done in different states.
But this just happened.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
I know it just happened.
I'm here for it.
All my business brain isturning.
Now I'm like, how can we do?
Like, what's the next thing forLaura?
It's almost like it'd be reallygood to have you at a retreat
setting right.
To where, when these are takingplace, to have you be that back
end support immediately, yeah,when they're coming out of the
ceremony.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Yeah, yeah, stuff like that.
Yeah, absolutely, you're ontosomething here and how timely,
yeah you know, and how timelyit's amazing.
So, what's next then, after allthis Well building out this
whole new arm of the practiceand I'm also working on a book-
I know you're, I wasn't going toask, but I was waiting for you
to come for it, yeah because Ihave her to the grapevine.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Jenna may have told me oh, jenna, and maybe a few
other people.
So what's the book going to beabout?
Speaker 2 (37:00):
The title I'm thinking of right now is the
Yoga of Grief, so it's about so.
As I said, yoga was, for me, myprimary lifeline through my
grief, the heaviest days of mygrief.
So it's outlining each of theeight limbs of yoga, defining
(37:21):
what those are, because a lot ofpeople only know one, which is
the asana, which is physicalposes.
So, expanding on a descriptionof all of those eight limbs of
yoga and then explaining howthey apply to grief, weaving in
personal story in mind and I'malso in the process of
interviewing other people toweave their personal story into
it and then, through that,giving practical suggestions of,
both on the mat and off the mat, ways that somebody could use
(37:44):
or somebody could supportthemselves through grief or
support somebody else throughgrief, through the lens of a
yoga practice.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
I love that.
When's that going to be out?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
It's probably a year plus out.
Okay, so it's way out there.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
It's perfect timing for it all though too,
especially after what you'vealready experienced personally
last year, like it's justanother wave of just guidance
you can offer people.
Yeah, that's amazing.
So three things if we can leavesomebody with three things
right now on best steps, ongetting out of a really tough
(38:16):
season of life, what would yourecommend?
Someone comes in your officeand they're like I'm just, I'm
in it I don't know what to dowhat would be?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
three things, three top things they could do to get
out of the funk well, first, myinitial response is to want to
challenge them, wanting to getout of it.
So my first response might bedo nothing, um, and sit with
that and see you.
Are you just wanting to get outof the funk because it's
(38:44):
uncomfortable?
Have you really sat with thatdiscomfort at all?
And for some, yes, that's theyhave, but for some, no, they
haven't.
They've just been trying toavoid that.
So first suggestion would besit with it just a little longer
, do nothing with it just alittle longer.
Oftentimes, when we're in theseplaces, what I find so
(39:05):
fascinating because it's sosimple, but it's not easy, but
it's just our physiologicalresponses to it.
We're oftentimes stuck in aplace of fight or flight.
If we can remove all the storyaround it and the emotion around
it, it's just that our bodiesare reading the situation as
(39:26):
being a threat to our survival.
So our body is responding justthe way it would respond as if a
lion walked in the door.
So there are some very basic,simple things we can do with
that to take care of ourselvesand in doing that, that teaches
our body that we're actuallysafe, even though this really
terrible thing has happened.
Tell me, how do we do that yeah.
(39:46):
So the most basic things eat,no, eat nutritious foods,
because when your body is infight or flight, the systems
that are important for survivalslow down.
So that's one of those is ourdigestive system.
So we oftentimes don't have astrong appetite, so we might not
have been eating for the lasttwo weeks or whatever.
(40:08):
So if we eat nutritious foods,with practice, we're teaching
our body that, oh okay, this issafe.
We're safe Breathing, takingdeep breaths, breath work Again,
if we're running from a tiger,let's say, or whatever might
chase you, your breath is reallyshallow and short right.
So that tells your body thatthis is not safe.
(40:29):
But if we deepen our breathing,if we do breath work practices,
if we even just take five deepbelly breaths with practice,
again teaches our system okay,we're safe, we're safe here
again teaches our system okay,we're safe, we're safe here.
Movement, social connectionthese are all simple, the most
(40:52):
basic of needs sometimes, andthe most basic of mental health
pillars, but these are thethings that go first when
anything happens, but especiallyif we're in heavy grief.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Those are great because I think of that.
They are so simple and they'realmost like oh yeah, of course I
know that.
Yeah, but when you're in that,moment.
Yeah, thinking of that you'rethinking of being in hermit mode
or checking out or not wantingto be a nuisance to somebody,
right?
I?
mean I think a lot of timeseveryone's like you hear the
friend, like hey, I'm here foryou, call me, text me anytime,
and you're like, left on, readlike people just don't want to
(41:22):
bother people or they thinkthey're bothering somebody.
Yeah, so I love that you remindof of, of connection, yeah I
know the more I'm dialed andconnected, the the happier I am.
In really hard times, like evenlast year when I was going
through a few of those retreats,I wasn't like, I mean, I was
excited for the retreat and Iwas excited for the ladies, but
you're still moving throughstuff, right?
(41:43):
But in that moment it was likeeverything just faded away.
And it was just the energy ofbeing amongst the women and the
reminder that this is what thisis for.
We're here to connect with oneanother.
So I think connection, in myopinion, is probably one of the
tops.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Yeah, the right connection, by the way.
Yeah, yeah, the rightconnection, of course, and grief
is always going to be hard.
This isn't about trying to makeit easier, but it's so much
more manageable if you're in asomewhat more grounded place
than if you're in a fight orfight place.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Sure, I have a question for you that just
popped in my head.
So how do you determine ifsomeone is in a state of just a
funk that they just can't getthemselves out of, or they're
depressed Like what's that fineline distinction if someone is
actually depressed or they'rejust in a season of funk?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
I don't know if there is one.
I think the answer lies morewithin the person than within
anybody else who might becurious or observing them, or
worried about them, or wondering.
I think it's a hard thing todistinguish between, and maybe
(42:51):
doesn't even matter, because inthat moment, those moments,
those days, those months,whatever, that's where you are,
that's what the reality is.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Yeah, and thank you for sharing that.
I think what comes to mind andjust to clarify is when the
reason I'm leading up to thisquestion is lately, it seems
like the last several years,it's so prevalent with suicide,
Like people that are takingtheir lives that you never
thought would take their life.
You're like what they were sohappy.
Yeah, they always her to smile,but internally they were
(43:23):
literally starving for help.
So how do you know?
I guess my point, my question,is to reframe or reclarify how
do you know when to step in,rather than, oh, he's just in a
funk right now, or she's in afunk right now, letting them sit
with that?
rather than being theintervention and say, hey, we
(43:44):
need to take you somewhere, weneed to talk, we need to get you
in front of a professional orwhatever that looks like to
really intervene and help.
How do you know?
And?
So we don't have these cases ofI guess I would call it like
silent suicide.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, we don't always know that.
There's no one clear answer tohow you know that.
But I will say that if you'rethinking that, if you're curious
, if you're worried about thisperson, if you're thinking about
them, then send them a message,reach out to them Maybe that to
(44:19):
maybe go on a slightly morespiritual road with this, but
maybe that, having theinclination, the thought about
them, do they need something?
Do they need me?
Maybe that's the answer.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Yeah, just becoming an offering of right.
I mean, I just it just seems soprevalent nowadays.
That's what came in my mind.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Like it's just, it's sad, it really is to see there
was a teenager just a couplemonths ago.
She was 12 or 13 and took herlife because she was being
bullied on an instagram.
And it's just like those poorparents, how did they?
They knew and they said lateron oh, we could see she was
struggling.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Yeah, so yeah yeah, how do you?
Navigate that yeah, well, it'snot.
I don't think it's anythingthat they did wrong.
Right, right, yeah I think manypeople in that situation would
have probably done the exactsame thing they did, so it's not
anything they did wrong, but wedon't always know.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
Right.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
And we can't always know, and as hard as it is
sometimes.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
That's not our path to know or to intervene on.
So now I know where you'regoing with this.
That's what you'd mention aboutspiritual.
Is that possibly their path?
And it's not for someone to,for us, is that what you're
saying?
To intervene?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
because some people will say that, yeah, I I'm not
necessarily saying that is orisn't, but I think it's an
interesting thing to consider.
Yeah, no, it is yeah.
And what point are weintervening on somebody else's
path?
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Right.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Maybe for our own selfish reasons.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
You know that's been poised before, that's been
poised before.
I was speaking to a medium lastyear that said that that, um,
it's almost like, uh, likeyou're intervening in that
soul's experience, right likeyour soul was called here to
experience x, y and z, and howhorrific this sounds and morbid.
That was their life path, humanexperience that their soul
(46:20):
called it in.
I mean, I've heard a lot ofpeople speak on that for sure
and it's hard to wrap your headaround to think that, right,
yeah, um, but who are we to, Imean, you know, to judge that or
to to step in on that?
Speaker 2 (46:32):
so it's just a very different perspective for sure,
yeah, and again, I'm not sayingthe right or wrong answer, but
for me personally, consideringthat is helpful, considering the
possibility of something likethat or something that just is
(46:54):
sort of outside of the box ofwhat we talk about with it or
how we think about it.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Yeah, it can get really deep, yeah, really deep,
really deep, yeah, really deep,really fast.
Yeah, everyone's like whoa,where did this turn?
Where did they go with this?
So I just one thing I want tohonor you for is and just
because I've I've known Laurafor a little bit, here is your
journey Like what you've beenable to pour yourself in with
(47:24):
really just uncertainty, right,because it takes a level of a
big level, in my opinion, ofcourage to pour yourself into
that.
Next, layer that next level ofevolving, because it's
uncomfortable, it's scary, likelet's not paint this picture
that this is just easy peasy.
We're showing up, we're like,oh yeah, it's warm and fuzzy,
(47:46):
like it requires a lot ofcourage to go through it.
So I just wanted to honor youbecause you really have just
like you walk it.
There's one thing when peopletalk, you actually walk the
entire path, and so I justwanted to honor you for that.
And what you've done this lastyear specifically, has just been
girl, it's been big and bold.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
It really has.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
And thank you for sharing your story and I love
the service you're now going tooffer and showing up in the
world to support other peoplegoing through their own journey
as well.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
It's amazing.
Thank you, yes, I'm veryexcited.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
So before we get to our fire round, I just have one
more question for you to closethis out.
I'm very excited.
So before we get to our fireround, I just have one more
question for you to close thisout.
How do we begin to rewrite thestory of grief so it becomes a
mirror for our strength and notjust our sorrow?
Speaker 2 (48:30):
I think, getting to know it, define it, understand
it for ourselves, understandwhat it means for you because
there's lot of people have a lotof beliefs about grief, their
own beliefs that they're goingto put on you.
You know it should take thislong or it should look like this
or whatever, but those aren'talways true and they aren't
(48:51):
always true for us.
So defining for an individualyou know what their own, what
grief is for them and what thatmeans to them, I think is
probably that first sentence inthe story, so to speak.
Speaker 1 (49:08):
Right, I love that.
And that goes back to what youmentioned earlier, which is
sitting in the discomfort.
You're only going to know thatif you sit in the discomfort.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
So good.
Thank you All.
Right Now, laura, we aregetting lit with Laura and not
with wine, no, no, no, but withtruth, soul and maybe a little
sass.
Welcome to your fire round.
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (49:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
All right, she has no idea.
22 questions coming at you, 22.
All right, I got to loosen upfor this one.
I got to loosen up for this one.
What keeps you grounded on ahard day?
Yoga.
How do you celebrate?
Speaker 2 (49:49):
yourself.
Now that you didn't do before,I acknowledge it and say good
job, oh you celebrate your wins.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
Yeah, love that.
What's your definition ofempowered healing, making your
own choices?
What does your dream futurefeel like?
In one word Calm, ah, yes,peace.
What legacy do you hope yourwork leaves on this world Big?
(50:18):
What invitation do you want toleave in the hearts of every
listener today who's navigatinggrief?
Get curious.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
Your favorite mantra when your energy needs a reset
Slow down One song that'sbasically your soul in a sound.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Oh gosh, Something instrumental jazzy.
A book that cracked you wideopen.
The Bhagavad Gita.
(51:04):
That sounds super intriguing.
Yogi book, I know it A healingpractice that surprised you with
how powerful it really is.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
Yoga.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
I already knew that answer.
What's your go-to move when youfeel off-center?
Speaker 2 (51:14):
I mean all these answers could be yoga, hot yoga.
Specifically, there's somethingabout just like the sweat Hot
yoga or a sauna or somethingwith a lot of sweat.
Yes, something about just likethe sweat Hot yoga or a sauna or
something with a lot of sweatjust grounds me like nothing
else.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
I'm right there with you.
I love the sauna, one ritualthat's non-negotiable in your
daily life, besides yoga, I know.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
Reading a fiction book in the morning while I'm
drinking my coffee before I doanything else.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
What do you wish?
More people knew about grief.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
That it's not a problem to be fixed.
A quote you live by.
If you try to fix reality or ifyou try to change reality,
you'll lose.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
Ooh, I like that one, if you try to fight reality,
you'll lose Ooh, I like that one.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
If you try to fight reality, you'll lose.
Ooh, okay, that one If you tryto fight reality, you'll lose.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
Yeah, that's the quote.
Wow, that's powerful.
Who's that by?
Speaker 2 (52:12):
I don't know, do you?
Speaker 1 (52:13):
know I'll have to look it up.
What does your higher self wearsay or radiate?
Speaker 2 (52:33):
Laura 10.0.
Says no, that's great.
One quirky self-care thing youdo that works.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Keep my house very neat.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
I think that's great, a symbol that anchors you in
your power.
A symbol, a symbol that anchorsyou in your power.
So having a safe space, likeit's usually my home, but if I'm
traveling, having like a spacethat's why we've talked about
it's so important for me to havelike my own room, because
that's like my grounding space,and if I don't have that, then I
just notice everything feels alittle more scattered for me.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
I feel that Really Thank you for clarifying that.
I always wonder You're like,why doesn't she like to share?
I thought she just wasn't asharer.
That's so good, all right.
And last one If someone issitting in the silence of their
loss, what's one loving truththey can hold?
Speaker 2 (53:28):
onto today.
You're not alone.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
Boom.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
Thank you so much.
This was so lovely, and.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
I just really appreciate you taking the time
to be here and sharing yourgifts with the world.
How have things changed for you since your
ceremony last year?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
It felt like a shedding away of all of the
layers that over the past 40plus years of my life that have
just been layered on.
You know, as they do, living ahuman life where you forget the
truth of who you are.
I was just trying to navigatethis world that I wasn't
prepared for, I didn't ask forand I seemed to be the only one
in this world at the time.
(00:25):
Even getting out of bed andwalking to your kitchen, like
sometimes, that's it.
For sure, that's all we can do,but any kind of movement is
helpful in moving the energy ofgrief that wants to move.
There are some very basic,simple things we can do with
that to take care of ourselvesand in doing that that teaches
(00:45):
our body that we're actuallysafe, even though this really
terrible thing has happened.
Tell me.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
How do we do that?
Yeah, so you are listening tothe Aligned and Alive podcast
with Chrissy May, where wediscuss the various aspects of
spirituality and wellness.
A place where you can findguidance and a space to explore
your life's meaning and purpose,allowing you to become
(01:10):
connected, aligned and feelingfully alive.
Attention, all my soul sisters,imagine this eight days of pure
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You'll enjoy private boat ridesto hidden coves and a soul
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awakening visit to the iconicMamma Mia Island.
Every meal, a nourishingexperience crafted with love by
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Enjoy moonlight rituals,ecstatic dance, sound healing,
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breath work, sacred ceremonies,dancing lessons as in Greek
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This is a once-in-a-lifetimeexperience that you do not want
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This is more than a retreat.
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So are you ready to transform?
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If so, then join us in Greecethis September.
You can head on over tochrissiemaycom for more
information and to schedule yourcall.
Now back to the show.
Welcome back all you, beautifulsouls, to another episode of
Aligned and Alive.
I am so honored you're heretoday, because today's episode
(02:58):
is going to land deep in yourheart, especially if you've ever
navigated grief, felt lost onyour healing journey.
Who hasn't or wondered how paincould ever lead to power?
My guest today is a licensedmental health therapist, clinic
coach and author.
She's the founder of Grief onPurpose, a transformational
(03:19):
movement that's redefining howwe walk through loss.
After losing her father at 21and her boyfriend at 26, she's
turned her own grief into apowerful invitation to help
others reclaim their voice,their power and their healing,
including her own healingjourney.
This conversation is sacred.
We talk about honoring theshadow, turning pain into
(03:41):
purpose and creating dailyrituals that support deep
transformation.
My guest doesn't just talkabout grief, she alchemizes it
into something holy.
So grab your tea, light acandle, take a breath and let's
dive deep into this beautiful,raw and empowering conversation
with the beautiful Laura Walton.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Hi, hi, I love that intro.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Thank you so much for being here, yeah.
It's been a minute I feel likeI just saw you, though I know.
So we're going to start thiswhole segment journey into,
let's call it, the sacredinvitation of loss, because
that's a big part of your story.
So, I'm going to have you goback and just walk us through
those early moments of yourjourney, losing your father,
then your boyfriend and thenwhat awakened inside you through
(04:26):
that heartbreak.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
I was in my 20s for both of them, and so I was so
young and, I think, just foundmyself completely unprepared for
what had happened.
There was nobody else in myworld, my 20-year-old world, who
had experienced something likethat, and so I was just trying
to navigate this world that Iwasn't prepared for, I didn't
(04:49):
ask for and I seemed to be theonly one in this world at the
time.
So I think that experience ofjust being so alone, but yet in
something I knew, knowing we alldie at some point, so this is
going to be something we allexperience on some level, still
being aware of that thatcontrast just felt so wrong and
(05:13):
strange to me that that was,that that was my reality, and I
think, even in those reallyearly days of grief, that like
planted a seed in me that thisis, this is weird and stupid,
that there's not this supportfor something that we're all
going to experience, and thenthat started the path, my path,
(05:35):
I think, of working morepersonally and professionally
with that.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Right Now did you start?
Were you a therapist prior tothe passing of your boyfriend?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
No, I was, I was.
I wasn't doing much with mylife at that time, so he really
became the catalyst for yougoing into this entire new
profession.
Yes, yeah, wow, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah, and you were at 20, how old were you 26?
I was 26 when he died.
Okay, so 26,.
You now enter back into college.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Is this how?
I'm just trying to see?
Yeah, I went to grad schoolabout five years after his death
.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Wow, okay, yeah, and what did that look like?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
I mean, that's really pretty heavy when you think
about you're not just going backto grad school, you're going
back to grad school and stillmourning the loss of your
boyfriend yeah, at that point Ididn't do it right away, I think
it was about five years after,probably.
So I had time to process it tosome degree, you know, make
(06:32):
sense of it, recognize that thiswas my new reality and to
determine, at least at thatpoint, like what the next, what
my next steps would be going tograd school.
So by the time I think Iactually enrolled in school I
was I was definitely a littlemore grounded than I would have
(06:54):
been immediately following hisdeath and just knowing that this
, this was what was happening.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, did you have.
I know you shared with mepreviously the depth of that
relationship.
You know, I think when we thinkof like 26-year-olds, we're
like oh, it's just young loveand all the things, but yours
was pretty deep from what weshared.
Even the level of you know, forthose listening and watching.
You know we talk about twinflames and you know there's
karmics, twin flames, soulmates,all the things out there, and
(07:20):
twin flames are a very powerful,rich connection.
And I think that you shared withme that you felt he was a twin
flame of yours.
I think so.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
And I'm not even really sure what the definition
of twin flames would be.
But when I met him, which waswhen I was 18, there was just
something that the first momentI saw him there was just
something.
It wasn't I don't think it waslike an attraction, but I think
it was just something like aphysical attraction.
I think, it was just somethingthat was like I know him um it's
(07:51):
hard to put into words,especially coming from such a
young perspective.
um, but there was just someconnection of I already knew him
before I knew him and then wehad we again.
We were young and dramatic, asyoung people are, in our 20s so
(08:13):
but there was something like wecouldn't stay away from each
other, like there was some kindof pull I think you know
speaking for him, but betweenthe two of us where we just kept
, even if we would break up.
We just kept going back andforth.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
And then since he's died, which has now been 18
years, I've still felt thatconnection in a different way,
right, well, which is the reasonwhy I brought it up, because
Laura has shared the story withme at one of the retreats I
hosted and I just felt it was.
I think the reason I share thatis because it's oftentimes
harder to navigate not that anydeath is easy, but it's even
(08:48):
harder when you have that realdeep soul level connection and
just being able to have thoseafter death experiences that
come still sit with you longafter the grief is over, right,
which is really, in a way, verytherapeutic too, to have that to
have that experience.
So tell us how grief on purposethen came about.
(09:09):
Was there a lightning moment,or was it just more of like a
slow awakening that it came tobe?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
It's been an ever evolution over the past 20 years
probably.
But it initially looked like megoing to grad school because I
thought as a therapist I couldsupport people in the ways that
I wasn't able to find throughgrief, which I did and have done
(09:36):
a lot of.
But I also got to a pointwithin my therapy practice at
least how it was structured atthat time that I was feeling
confined and kind of trapped ina box of only being able to meet
with limited amounts of peoplebut also only being able to talk
about certain things and onlybeing able to do certain things
that fit within that therapy box.
(09:56):
And so as I started feelingstuck in that and knowing that
there was more, there wasgreater reach that I could have,
I started to consider a lot ofdifferent ways that that could
look, and that was probablywhere the grief on purpose
really started to take flight.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
And it became this movement if you will.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Just education on grief,resources on grief, normalizing
grief, talking about grief,doing things like this that just
make it normal to have thoseconversations.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
So what's normal?
Look like, Like?
What does that look like whensomeone's really still going
through it?
So say, it's a really heavyseason of their life right now
and they just can't seem to.
I don't even want to use theword shake it, but do you know
what I?
mean Really shake that weight ontheir shoulders.
I lost my father in 2022.
I've been able to move on.
I still carry him with me.
(10:48):
Friends of mine who've losttheir parents.
They can move on from that.
But what if it's somethingreally heavy, like someone loses
their child, someone loses ahusband, a wife.
How do you navigate?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
that you said what if they're in this place where
they just really can't?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
shake it.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Like, for that time, that's normal, that's their
normal and that's okay andthere's not a need to.
And I think it can becomeproblematic when we try to rush
out of that or change that.
It's uncomfortable for us whenwe're the ones experiencing it
and also for the people in ourlives who are witnessing that,
(11:26):
to see when, when people arekind of, when they appear to be
at least like stuck in it ordrowning in it.
But that's part of theexperience.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
so you're saying like let somebody sit in that yeah
that moment.
But isn't there a time andspace to where it's like, okay,
come on now.
Now we have a life.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Well, I think that will naturally unfold in some
way for each person.
It's obviously going to lookdifferent for every person, but
if people are allowed and giventhe space to sit in the
discomfort and learn how to bewith that instead of being
rushed out of it, it doesn'tlast forever.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Oh, good point, because what came to mind right
now was when you just said ifthey can learn to sit in the
discomfort, this is great,because this doesn't mean
numbing right, you know,escapism, all the things that we
tend not everyone, but a lot ofpeople tend to slip into in
these really dark times, likewhether it's alcohol, drugs,
(12:27):
maybe constant plant medicine,ceremonies, right, I mean, like
all the things, sex shopping.
You know, there's so many waysyou can escape, and so that was
a key point.
I just heard you say like wecan sit in the discomfort,
because that makes a lot ofsense then, because you can't
just sit in discomfort forever.
But you can sit or you canescape into discomfort for a
(12:48):
very long time, if not forever.
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
You can escape from discomfort?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Yes, Meaning like an addiction.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yes, absolutely and definitely in the forms of all
the things you just listed off.
But even that can be in theforms of your friends Meaning
well of, of course, but beinglike you know it's time to move
on with your life, or let's goout tonight, or you know,
whatever it happens to be like,it's okay for those things to
happen on occasion, but ifthat's happening all the time,
(13:19):
then then the person who'sgrieving is never given the
opportunity to actually sit inthe discomfort yeah, no, that
makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
It actually feels more comforting to know that if?
You can just have a mustardseed of just courage to go
through the period of discomfort.
You know you're going to comeout of it at some point in time.
Yeah, Didn't say it was goingto be easy.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
It's not going to be easy, but at some point you can
get there.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
What are some practices.
If you will or I don't evenwant to call them strategies I
guess that you can recommend forsomebody to help really guide
them through this.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
So for me, my yoga practice was by far the number
one thing, but it was my yogapractice as it relates to the
physical practice of yoga butalso the study of yoga, which is
much greater than just thephysical poses, the physical
practice of yoga and it doesn'thave to be yoga, but any kind of
like movement or connectionwith your body.
We hold this stuff in our body.
We hold traumas, we holdemotions, we certainly hold
grief in our bodies, and so ifthere's any way that we're able
(14:19):
to move that energy physically,that helps.
Even just like walking, evenjust walking, yeah, even just
walking.
Even just two stretches on yourbedroom floor, right, even,
just even.
This sounds maybe extremesometimes, but not if you're
grieving.
But even getting out of bed andwalking to your kitchen
Sometimes, that's it For sure,that's all we can do, but any
(14:42):
kind of movement is helpful inmoving the energy of grief that
wants to move.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
And I like that now that you're speaking even more,
I'm like it's not just grief anddeath, it's grief and just
maybe divorce or maybe loss of ajob or financial hardship or
whatever.
There's grief in everythingright, it's not just dying.
So, yeah, that's applicable toeverything in your life to move
forward.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's grief in everything and
I think sometimes in myexperience in working with it,
when we're talking about griefas it relates to a death, all
the other past griefs,grievances, whatever the plural
is, all the other past griefsthat maybe feel less minor, like
a divorce or a move or whatever, but those can feel so much
(15:28):
more magnified when a big onehappens, when a death happens,
if those have never beenprocessed before.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Good point, Right?
So this is why it's soimportant to find some sort of
practice and outlet to move yourbody to stay connected.
So when life does happen,you're able to navigate it with
a little bit more grace and ease.
So moving forward from grief onpurpose.
I know you've had a few shiftsin your life.
Let's explore Laura, becauseLaura has been through her own
(15:59):
healing journey and I thinkthat's one thing that's so
beautiful about life is that youknow where we start, isn't
where we end, and I know thatsounds so you know, obvious and
cliche, but it's true, like ifyou choose to follow your soul
and your mission and your pathand lean into it, a lot of
beautiful things can come out ofthat.
And, unexpectedly, that younever found yourself in Right,
(16:20):
and so if you wouldn't mindsharing just what journey you've
been on the last six to eightmonths specifically, that has
helped you shift in a lot ofways.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, it's been a life-altering one for sure.
I laugh a little bit justbecause it's kind of like what
journey didn't happen in thelast six to eight months, but
for me my grief was the doorwayinto everything.
(16:49):
I think it's even fair to saythat I still do now, 20 years
later, as it relates to like myinterests and my curiosities.
I wasn't raised with anyreligion and I really just never
, was never fostered in me, andso I never took the time to like
(17:11):
question anything or questionmy belief system or question who
I was um, or question what Ibelieved, until I was forced to
do it with the deaths thathappened, and then I was just
like wait, but what?
Where are they?
You know there was no.
There was no clear cut,comfortable answer.
Not to say that we ever come toa comfortable answer, but the
point being is that just forcedme to really dive deep into
(17:36):
trying to understand things formyself.
So that has still continued allthese years later.
In the things I'm drawn to, thethings I'm interested in, the
experiences I seek out in justhaving a deeper understanding of
myself and then us as humansand us in living our lives and
what that means and what that is, because I have felt I've been
(18:08):
able to maintain this connectionwith my boyfriend and with my
dad who died.
I've maintained a connectionwith them after their death in
different forms and that'salways been really interesting
and curious.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
What does that look like?
Gosh, you have me curious now.
I love these stories too.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Yeah, it's feeling their presence in different ways
.
With my dad it has been lessobvious than with my boyfriend.
So my dad's birthday was onChristmas, and the first
Christmas after he died I hadthis dream that was just like
nothing I've ever experiencedbefore, even to this day, in
(18:38):
that it was just like the mostreal thing that you could
imagine it would be like ussitting here having this
conversation.
I've had those before.
Yeah, but he was he just it wasquick.
He came to me, he gave me a hugand he said I'll see you again
and that was it.
But it just shift.
That was the first.
I was 21 at that time, and sothat was the first experience I
(18:59):
had where I was like is theresomething more?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
that I don't know about.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
You know, the first thing that kind of opened my
eyes a little bit to thatpossibility, which planted a
seed.
And then when my boyfriend died, when I was 26, in the
immediate days, weeks, maybeeven months after his death,
there were so many things thathappened with electricity Like I
(19:25):
wish I had written them downbecause I can't remember all of
them right now.
But just everywhere I went, thelights would go out.
Everywhere I went, phones wouldring and nobody would be there
or nobody would be on the otherend, like dogs barking at
nothing.
There were just so many thingsthat happened in that immediate
aftermath of his death thatthese'm these can't all be
(19:47):
coincidences.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
So prior to this, did you have any belief that there
was life after death?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I had this little inkling of the seed that had
been planted with the dream,with my dad, but that was it.
I had.
No, I didn't really have anybeliefs about it Interesting, I
had never thought about it.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Interesting.
Yeah, never thought like at all.
All no discussions at all.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
like grandpas didn't pass on our grandmas like yeah
both sets of my grandparents haddied, but it was just like they
died and that's it.
No, being not raised in areligious household, it wasn't.
It just wasn't a part ofconversation in normal life.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
So these two important humans in your life
become just like the catalystfor your literally your
spiritual journey.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Awakening yes.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely so.
I was feeling all of those well, not feeling, but seeing and
sensing all of the electricalstuff happening.
And then I started to just feelthis sense of him.
I remember the first real timeI was it was maybe three months
after he died and I was drivingand I felt his presence in my
(20:53):
passenger seat and it didn'tfeel bad, it didn't feel scary,
it didn't feel weird, it justfelt like he was in the flesh,
sitting there and I just wenthey, you're here and I just felt
it.
You know what?
I was trying to explain this tosomebody once, kind of recently
, and they had a good way offraming it that I hadn't thought
about, in that you know, whensomebody's alive and you're
(21:16):
around them, you kind of knowwhat their energy feels like
right, it was that, like I wasable, I remembered his energy
because it was still so recentand I just felt that right there
and that's so true, like theyeven done studies on this too.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Like where because I'm so fascinated by life after
death and I have been for yearsbut like when they pop in like
that, it's not like you'rethinking about them it's like
you're going about your day,you're doing your thing and then
boom, just like that, they,they're there, their energy's
there.
Yeah, I've had that experienceso many times.
It's pretty fascinating.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
And it's also heartwarming too at the same
time.
Yeah, so that has continued onin varying degrees over the last
18 years.
It still does, yeah, wow.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Now this is the other flip side.
Now has it gotten more intensebecause you've done so much more
healing work.
The last, even the last, likeeight months.
You've done a lot of stuff andyou can share those practices
and ceremonies and experiencesif you'd like.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I don't think my connection with him has gotten
more intense.
Okay, I actually think maybeit's gotten less intense, and I
don't.
I wonder if I did a sessionwith somebody a few years ago
who I think she called herself amedical medium and she said
this Nobody else had ever saidthis to me up until this point
(22:36):
in time, but she said somethinglike I think he's getting ready
to come into a new life and Iwas like what?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
He's leaving me again .
How dare you?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah, but it literally took my breath away
for a moment.
But then I was like wait, andby that point it had been over
10 years, you know.
So I'm like, well, of course,you know, of course he would.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
then you know but.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I just hadn't thought about it in those terms.
So that's where I think hemight be in a new life now.
So that connection isn't as inyour face and strong as it was,
as it had been, but I think it'sstill there and my
understanding of it and throughall the things you kind of
(23:23):
referenced a second ago, all thethings I've been doing for
myself and on my own terms, it's, it's okay, you know, I have a
greater understanding that Idon't need him tagging along
with me for the rest of my life.
Um, rightfully so.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
yeah, yeah it would be hard to think too, because
now you're you're in otherrelationships.
Yeah, yeah, like sorry honey,I'm just kind of still thinking
about, yeah, yeah, make it tough.
So what has it been now, likethe last um year of your journey
, where you've felt a real shift?
Because I mean, I was able tosee you last year and and it was
just so powerful I mean in reallife seeing it it was just
(24:06):
unbelievably powerful.
How have things changed for yousince your ceremony last year?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, so I think up until then I'd been seeking,
seeking, seeking, seekingeverything.
And at some point that had comein the form of grad school, at
some points that had come in theform of different clinical
trainings I'd done.
At some points that had comemore in the form of grad school,
at some points that had come inthe form of like clinical,
different clinical trainings.
I've done, at some point, somepoints that I'd come more in the
form of different likeceremonies, plant medicine stuff
, recreational substances, youknow all all the things.
(24:35):
But just like this seeking,seeking, seeking of something,
but I didn't quite know what andwhat, everything I found it was
never the right answer, rightum, which, if I'm being honest,
is probably what led me to to dothe seeking, what led me to um
do the retreat that we did wasanother thing that I was seeking
(24:56):
um.
but through that experience, onthat retreat, it was it felt
like a shedding away of all ofthe layers that over the past 40
plus years of my life that havejust been layered on.
You know, as they do living ahuman life where you forget the
(25:17):
truth of who you are, like it,just one layer after the next,
just it felt like it wasshedding off and I came to this
experience of realization of Idon't know quite the right
terminology, but just of I amGod.
Coming from somebody who's notreligious who's never believed
(25:37):
in a God, never had thatexperience, and I'm fully aware
of say this to the wrong person.
You're crazy, right, but likewhat this sounds like, but that
was the truth of it, and it wasa different experience of just
like being like, yeah, you know,a cognitive, yeah, that'd be
cool if I was God, but this,like full body, this is just
(25:58):
truth.
You know, when you know, whenyou just like know something to
be true in your body.
That's what it was.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I think that's so beautiful because if someone's
listening right now and is like,well, that sounds really
egotistical, because I just knowhow people respond, and
especially for those that dohave a religious background or
are Christian, I'm Christian andwhen I heard Laura give that
explanation, I thought it was sobeautiful, if you really listen
to what that sounds like,because, if you want to put it
into other terms, it's God'swithin us.
(26:26):
Yeah, we are created in theimage of God, so you can
actually apply that to so manydifferent understandings, right,
and that's why I thought it wassuch a beautiful thing for you
to actually witness that,because you have zero background
in religious upbringing orpractice and to have that
realization.
What, to me, it does is itbridges us all into one, which
(26:47):
is we are all one, yeah, andthere's no separation.
You know, this is how we cometogether in communities and
support systems and when youshow up and we love and serve
and support one another likethat is what we are here for on
this human experience, and sothat's you know.
I love that you explained thatbecause it's true.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yeah, yeah, and thank you for clarifying that,
because it wasn't just I am God,it was that we all are, it's
all within there, but toactually like feel that to be
true, was such a shift.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Yeah, it is.
You start.
I mean you can tell me how yourexperience was, but like, when
you come out of it you're likewhat is this all for?
Can tell me how your experiencewas, but like, when you come
out of it you're like what isthis all for?
Like, all the things I give somuch importance to is
meaningless.
It's not a big deal.
Yeah, you know, when you lookat the, yeah, when you can zoom
out and look at the biggerpicture and actually feel in it
(27:38):
like be embody it.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
It's just, it's a powerful way to start living
life from from that from thatplace yeah, and the duality of
that that was that duality thingreally came up for me in my
experience too, because it wasit was the week after the
election, so the world was likejust kind of in like what's
happening, you know, andeverybody's on one side or the
other and seems to hate theother person, so that, you know,
(28:03):
just existed in the world andexisted in my awareness, I guess
, at the time of this experienceand as I was more thinking
about things in a more rationallevel, that existed and also
this experience of being God,being part of this greater
(28:24):
consciousness, existed at thesame time, so I could understand
the importance of all of ourreal world matters and they are
important and also they're notat all important.
And I lived for a few minutes,however long it was.
I lived in that duality, ofboth of those being true.
So how was your integrationpart from that?
Now you leave the retreat andyou're going back into the quote
unquote real world right.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Duality of both of those being true.
So how did, how was yourintegration part from that when
you, you know, now you leave theretreat and you're going back
into the quote-unquote realworld right?
Yeah that's a 3D matrix.
Yeah, how was?
Speaker 2 (28:53):
that for you.
It's hard, yeah, it's hard andI'm still navigating that um,
but I mean coming just just one,just driving back into a big
city with traffic and people,I'm like wait a second, what's
happening here?
And I remember thinking, yeah,how does one go from that
(29:15):
transition of being like I amGod, I know, you know, I am God,
you are God Having that, totraffic?
You know, how do we make thattransition?
And it was hard to do and thatis actually part of the recent
shift that I was talking aboutand that's becoming more of a
(29:36):
focus of the work that I'm doingwithin my therapy practice.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Tell us more about that.
Yeah, I'd love to.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah, in supporting people, working with people who
have had some very profoundshift, whether Tell us more
about that world is rocked inthe sense that their perspective
is completely changed, but yetthey still have all you know,
(30:07):
they still have groceries to buyand they still have their
mortgage to pay.
You know all of those normallife things figuring out how to
navigate that, and that youcan't just talk to anybody about
this stuff either, right, um,without being um judged in some
way we were just talking aboutthat earlier today too.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
When you really go deep into this world, it's a
whole different level.
And then also learning how tobalance that new awareness into
what has been for so long.
How do you now go from here?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
to there, right, it's so different.
Yeah, it's hard and I know thatit's.
As a therapist.
I know that that type ofsupport there isn't a lot out
there.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
No.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
You know, if somebody's just like I need
therapy, I'm going to look forthis.
You're probably not going tofind it.
There's not a lot of thatsupport, so I'm focusing more on
that being the therapeutic work.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I love that you're doing that.
That is so needed right now,especially in a world right now
where plant medicine is becomingso prevalent and mainstream
right, everyone's now likereally waking up to the
potential and benefits of it.
Can you take us down that partof it?
So you are a mental healththerapist In your professional
(31:25):
opinion?
Do you feel that this reallyshould become more mainstream
for patients that are eithersuicidal, going through
depression really deep, you knowdark times Like would you now,
knowing what you know, guidethat or recommend?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
that I think it has a lot of potential if it's done
well and if it's done with theright support, right From what I
see thus far, as it is becominga little bit more In some areas
it's a little bit more common,but I also see a lot of places
(32:03):
where it's not being done well.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Give us an example.
So people I mean I understandwhat you're getting at.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
But just at least you know, in our state ketamine is
legal for therapeutic use, andso there are a lot of clinics
that are offering ketaminetherapy.
But what that ketamine therapylooks like is they're just
hooking you up to machine andyou're in a room by yourself and
for an hour or whatever, andthen you go home and that's it.
There's no support after notmuch.
(32:31):
I mean everywhere.
Some places are doing itdifferently, so this isn't
exclusive to everywhere, butI've seen and I've heard from
people have experienced it.
Um, not great things, just asfar as like.
It's like have this experienceand then go figure it out on
your own.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
And then come back for more.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Yeah, come back for more.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
I mean great business right.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
In some cases I've heard Get addicted to ketamine.
Yeah, that's creating a newaddiction.
Yeah, correct.
So I think there's potentialfor that to be a transformative
thing, but I don't.
In a lot of cases, I don'tthink we as individuals can just
learn Because, as I was saying,you have this experience, then
you go back to your job and howdo those two mix?
And if we don't have thatsupport of figuring that out and
(33:13):
integrating it, I think there'salso potential for it to do
more harm than good.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
I agree, and I've seen it in cases where people
haven't had the properintegration after.
I mean, you brought up a greatexample ketamine, which is so
huge right now, but even plantmedicine ceremonies, and whether
that's just psilocybin orwhether it's ayahuasca or bufo
or combo.
I mean there's so many of thesethings out right now that can
(33:37):
serve a beautiful purpose, right.
I mean, you and I both haveexperienced many of those.
But if you're not properlyintegrating it and having the
support, to do that.
It's like the wild wild west.
I mean you don't know whatyou're going to get or what
Pandora's box you're opening ifyou don't have that proper
support after your experience.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Yeah, yeah, and I think sometimes with those
experiences, as you know, theybring up things that are
uncomfortable that are hard andif we don't have as to tie it
back to our earlier conversationif we don't have somebody who
can help us sit with thediscomfort, we already have a
million ways to escape it.
Million and one yeah,absolutely yeah.
(34:20):
So that can become even, Ithink, feed more, even into that
negative cycle.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
So you are.
I'm so happy to hear thatyou're going in this direction.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
I didn't know this.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
I just learned this on this.
Like literally, she sat in thechair.
She's like I need to talk toyou.
I'm going in a differentdirection.
I love that you're doing this,because this is what we need
right now.
We need more professionals outthere supporting what people are
already going to do.
Let's be honest, right, it's afad right now.
Everyone's talking about it,but who's holding the right
(34:51):
containers, who's really holdingand guiding accordingly and
sitting in high integrity whiledoing so?
Yeah, so I just think it's sucha a hopefully so many more will
follow suit.
Yeah, and really, you know, bethat light that we need.
Yeah, um, and I say lightbecause if you don't, you're
going to experience a reallyheavy darkness um, if you can't
(35:16):
get out of that, that cycle,yeah.
So, yeah, I'm thinking rightnow to somebody.
I just I can't really speak onit, but when there are bad
experiences, who's going toguide that human out of that bad
experience?
Yeah, as you mentioned, it canbe worse for them.
So now are you opening up apractice here locally in
Scottsdale just for this support, or is it going to be like
(35:40):
telemedicine, or is it just inperson?
Speaker 2 (35:43):
It's going to be an evolution of the therapy
practice I've already had, butI'm kind of instead of because
for so long it's been focusingon grief, which, again, that was
my doorway in and that might besome other people's doorway in.
But instead of beingexclusively focused on grief,
it's going to be focusing onthis as well.
It may evolve into somethingthat's more of a coaching
(36:05):
instead of therapy, so that canbe done over telehealth and that
can be done in different states.
But this just happened.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
I know it just happened.
I'm here for it.
All my business brain isturning.
Now I'm like, how can we do?
Like, what's the next thing forLaura?
It's almost like it'd be reallygood to have you at a retreat
setting right.
To where, when these are takingplace, to have you be that back
end support immediately, yeah,when they're coming out of the
ceremony.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Yeah, yeah, stuff like that.
Yeah, absolutely, you're ontosomething here and how timely,
yeah you know, and how timelyit's amazing.
So, what's next then, after allthis Well building out this
whole new arm of the practiceand I'm also working on a book-
I know you're, I wasn't going toask, but I was waiting for you
to come for it, yeah because Ihave her to the grapevine.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Jenna may have told me oh, jenna, and maybe a few
other people.
So what's the book going to beabout?
Speaker 2 (37:00):
The title I'm thinking of right now is the
Yoga of Grief, so it's about so.
As I said, yoga was, for me, myprimary lifeline through my
grief, the heaviest days of mygrief.
So it's outlining each of theeight limbs of yoga, defining
(37:21):
what those are, because a lot ofpeople only know one, which is
the asana, which is physicalposes.
So, expanding on a descriptionof all of those eight limbs of
yoga and then explaining howthey apply to grief, weaving in
personal story in mind and I'malso in the process of
interviewing other people toweave their personal story into
it and then, through that,giving practical suggestions of,
both on the mat and off the mat, ways that somebody could use
(37:44):
or somebody could supportthemselves through grief or
support somebody else throughgrief, through the lens of a
yoga practice.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
I love that.
When's that going to be out?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
It's probably a year plus out.
Okay, so it's way out there.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
It's perfect timing for it all though too,
especially after what you'vealready experienced personally
last year, like it's justanother wave of just guidance
you can offer people.
Yeah, that's amazing.
So three things if we can leavesomebody with three things
right now on best steps, ongetting out of a really tough
(38:16):
season of life, what would yourecommend?
Someone comes in your officeand they're like I'm just, I'm
in it I don't know what to dowhat would be?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
three things, three top things they could do to get
out of the funk well, first, myinitial response is to want to
challenge them, wanting to getout of it.
So my first response might bedo nothing, um, and sit with
that and see you.
Are you just wanting to get outof the funk because it's
(38:44):
uncomfortable?
Have you really sat with thatdiscomfort at all?
And for some, yes, that's theyhave, but for some, no, they
haven't.
They've just been trying toavoid that.
So first suggestion would besit with it just a little longer
, do nothing with it just alittle longer.
Oftentimes, when we're in theseplaces, what I find so
(39:05):
fascinating because it's sosimple, but it's not easy, but
it's just our physiologicalresponses to it.
We're oftentimes stuck in aplace of fight or flight.
If we can remove all the storyaround it and the emotion around
it, it's just that our bodiesare reading the situation as
(39:26):
being a threat to our survival.
So our body is responding justthe way it would respond as if a
lion walked in the door.
So there are some very basic,simple things we can do with
that to take care of ourselvesand in doing that, that teaches
our body that we're actuallysafe, even though this really
terrible thing has happened.
Tell me, how do we do that yeah.
(39:46):
So the most basic things eat,no, eat nutritious foods,
because when your body is infight or flight, the systems
that are important for survivalslow down.
So that's one of those is ourdigestive system.
So we oftentimes don't have astrong appetite, so we might not
have been eating for the lasttwo weeks or whatever.
(40:08):
So if we eat nutritious foods,with practice, we're teaching
our body that, oh okay, this issafe.
We're safe Breathing, takingdeep breaths, breath work Again,
if we're running from a tiger,let's say, or whatever might
chase you, your breath is reallyshallow and short right.
So that tells your body thatthis is not safe.
(40:29):
But if we deepen our breathing,if we do breath work practices,
if we even just take five deepbelly breaths with practice,
again teaches our system okay,we're safe, we're safe here
again teaches our system okay,we're safe, we're safe here.
Movement, social connectionthese are all simple, the most
(40:52):
basic of needs sometimes, andthe most basic of mental health
pillars, but these are thethings that go first when
anything happens, but especiallyif we're in heavy grief.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Those are great because I think of that.
They are so simple and they'realmost like oh yeah, of course I
know that.
Yeah, but when you're in that,moment.
Yeah, thinking of that you'rethinking of being in hermit mode
or checking out or not wantingto be a nuisance to somebody,
right?
I?
mean I think a lot of timeseveryone's like you hear the
friend, like hey, I'm here foryou, call me, text me anytime,
and you're like, left on, readlike people just don't want to
(41:22):
bother people or they thinkthey're bothering somebody.
Yeah, so I love that you remindof of, of connection, yeah I
know the more I'm dialed andconnected, the the happier I am.
In really hard times, like evenlast year when I was going
through a few of those retreats,I wasn't like, I mean, I was
excited for the retreat and Iwas excited for the ladies, but
you're still moving throughstuff, right?
(41:43):
But in that moment it was likeeverything just faded away.
And it was just the energy ofbeing amongst the women and the
reminder that this is what thisis for.
We're here to connect with oneanother.
So I think connection, in myopinion, is probably one of the
tops.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Yeah, the right connection, by the way.
Yeah, yeah, the rightconnection, of course, and grief
is always going to be hard.
This isn't about trying to makeit easier, but it's so much
more manageable if you're in asomewhat more grounded place
than if you're in a fight orfight place.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Sure, I have a question for you that just
popped in my head.
So how do you determine ifsomeone is in a state of just a
funk that they just can't getthemselves out of, or they're
depressed Like what's that fineline distinction if someone is
actually depressed or they'rejust in a season of funk?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
I don't know if there is one.
I think the answer lies morewithin the person than within
anybody else who might becurious or observing them, or
worried about them, or wondering.
I think it's a hard thing todistinguish between, and maybe
(42:51):
doesn't even matter, because inthat moment, those moments,
those days, those months,whatever, that's where you are,
that's what the reality is.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Yeah, and thank you for sharing that.
I think what comes to mind andjust to clarify is when the
reason I'm leading up to thisquestion is lately, it seems
like the last several years,it's so prevalent with suicide,
Like people that are takingtheir lives that you never
thought would take their life.
You're like what they were sohappy.
Yeah, they always her to smile,but internally they were
(43:23):
literally starving for help.
So how do you know?
I guess my point, my question,is to reframe or reclarify how
do you know when to step in,rather than, oh, he's just in a
funk right now, or she's in afunk right now, letting them sit
with that?
rather than being theintervention and say, hey, we
(43:44):
need to take you somewhere, weneed to talk, we need to get you
in front of a professional orwhatever that looks like to
really intervene and help.
How do you know?
And?
So we don't have these cases ofI guess I would call it like
silent suicide.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, we don't always know that.
There's no one clear answer tohow you know that.
But I will say that if you'rethinking that, if you're curious
, if you're worried about thisperson, if you're thinking about
them, then send them a message,reach out to them Maybe that to
(44:19):
maybe go on a slightly morespiritual road with this, but
maybe that, having theinclination, the thought about
them, do they need something?
Do they need me?
Maybe that's the answer.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Yeah, just becoming an offering of right.
I mean, I just it just seems soprevalent nowadays.
That's what came in my mind.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Like it's just, it's sad, it really is to see there
was a teenager just a couplemonths ago.
She was 12 or 13 and took herlife because she was being
bullied on an instagram.
And it's just like those poorparents, how did they?
They knew and they said lateron oh, we could see she was
struggling.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Yeah, so yeah yeah, how do you?
Navigate that yeah, well, it'snot.
I don't think it's anythingthat they did wrong.
Right, right, yeah I think manypeople in that situation would
have probably done the exactsame thing they did, so it's not
anything they did wrong, but wedon't always know.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
Right.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
And we can't always know, and as hard as it is
sometimes.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
That's not our path to know or to intervene on.
So now I know where you'regoing with this.
That's what you'd mention aboutspiritual.
Is that possibly their path?
And it's not for someone to,for us, is that what you're
saying?
To intervene?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
because some people will say that, yeah, I I'm not
necessarily saying that is orisn't, but I think it's an
interesting thing to consider.
Yeah, no, it is yeah.
And what point are weintervening on somebody else's
path?
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Right.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Maybe for our own selfish reasons.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
You know that's been poised before, that's been
poised before.
I was speaking to a medium lastyear that said that that, um,
it's almost like, uh, likeyou're intervening in that
soul's experience, right likeyour soul was called here to
experience x, y and z, and howhorrific this sounds and morbid.
That was their life path, humanexperience that their soul
(46:20):
called it in.
I mean, I've heard a lot ofpeople speak on that for sure
and it's hard to wrap your headaround to think that, right,
yeah, um, but who are we to, Imean, you know, to judge that or
to to step in on that?
Speaker 2 (46:32):
so it's just a very different perspective for sure,
yeah, and again, I'm not sayingthe right or wrong answer, but
for me personally, consideringthat is helpful, considering the
possibility of something likethat or something that just is
(46:54):
sort of outside of the box ofwhat we talk about with it or
how we think about it.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Yeah, it can get really deep, yeah, really deep,
really deep, yeah, really deep,really fast.
Yeah, everyone's like whoa,where did this turn?
Where did they go with this?
So I just one thing I want tohonor you for is and just
because I've I've known Laurafor a little bit, here is your
journey Like what you've beenable to pour yourself in with
(47:24):
really just uncertainty, right,because it takes a level of a
big level, in my opinion, ofcourage to pour yourself into
that.
Next, layer that next level ofevolving, because it's
uncomfortable, it's scary, likelet's not paint this picture
that this is just easy peasy.
We're showing up, we're like,oh yeah, it's warm and fuzzy,
(47:46):
like it requires a lot ofcourage to go through it.
So I just wanted to honor youbecause you really have just
like you walk it.
There's one thing when peopletalk, you actually walk the
entire path, and so I justwanted to honor you for that.
And what you've done this lastyear specifically, has just been
girl, it's been big and bold.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
It really has.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
And thank you for sharing your story and I love
the service you're now going tooffer and showing up in the
world to support other peoplegoing through their own journey
as well.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
It's amazing.
Thank you, yes, I'm veryexcited.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
So before we get to our fire round, I just have one
more question for you to closethis out.
I'm very excited.
So before we get to our fireround, I just have one more
question for you to close thisout.
How do we begin to rewrite thestory of grief so it becomes a
mirror for our strength and notjust our sorrow?
Speaker 2 (48:30):
I think, getting to know it, define it, understand
it for ourselves, understandwhat it means for you because
there's lot of people have a lotof beliefs about grief, their
own beliefs that they're goingto put on you.
You know it should take thislong or it should look like this
or whatever, but those aren'talways true and they aren't
(48:51):
always true for us.
So defining for an individualyou know what their own, what
grief is for them and what thatmeans to them, I think is
probably that first sentence inthe story, so to speak.
Speaker 1 (49:08):
Right, I love that.
And that goes back to what youmentioned earlier, which is
sitting in the discomfort.
You're only going to know thatif you sit in the discomfort.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
So good.
Thank you All.
Right Now, laura, we aregetting lit with Laura and not
with wine, no, no, no, but withtruth, soul and maybe a little
sass.
Welcome to your fire round.
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (49:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
All right, she has no idea.
22 questions coming at you, 22.
All right, I got to loosen upfor this one.
I got to loosen up for this one.
What keeps you grounded on ahard day?
Yoga.
How do you celebrate?
Speaker 2 (49:49):
yourself.
Now that you didn't do before,I acknowledge it and say good
job, oh you celebrate your wins.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
Yeah, love that.
What's your definition ofempowered healing, making your
own choices?
What does your dream futurefeel like?
In one word Calm, ah, yes,peace.
What legacy do you hope yourwork leaves on this world Big?
(50:18):
What invitation do you want toleave in the hearts of every
listener today who's navigatinggrief?
Get curious.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
Your favorite mantra when your energy needs a reset
Slow down One song that'sbasically your soul in a sound.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Oh gosh, Something instrumental jazzy.
A book that cracked you wideopen.
The Bhagavad Gita.
(51:04):
That sounds super intriguing.
Yogi book, I know it A healingpractice that surprised you with
how powerful it really is.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
Yoga.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
I already knew that answer.
What's your go-to move when youfeel off-center?
Speaker 2 (51:14):
I mean all these answers could be yoga, hot yoga.
Specifically, there's somethingabout just like the sweat Hot
yoga or a sauna or somethingwith a lot of sweat.
Yes, something about just likethe sweat Hot yoga or a sauna or
something with a lot of sweatjust grounds me like nothing
else.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
I'm right there with you.
I love the sauna, one ritualthat's non-negotiable in your
daily life, besides yoga, I know.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
Reading a fiction book in the morning while I'm
drinking my coffee before I doanything else.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
What do you wish?
More people knew about grief.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
That it's not a problem to be fixed.
A quote you live by.
If you try to fix reality or ifyou try to change reality,
you'll lose.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
Ooh, I like that one, if you try to fight reality,
you'll lose Ooh, I like that one.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
If you try to fight reality, you'll lose.
Ooh, okay, that one If you tryto fight reality, you'll lose.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
Yeah, that's the quote.
Wow, that's powerful.
Who's that by?
Speaker 2 (52:12):
I don't know, do you?
Speaker 1 (52:13):
know I'll have to look it up.
What does your higher self wearsay or radiate?
Speaker 2 (52:33):
Laura 10.0.
Says no, that's great.
One quirky self-care thing youdo that works.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Keep my house very neat.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
I think that's great, a symbol that anchors you in
your power.
A symbol, a symbol that anchorsyou in your power.
So having a safe space, likeit's usually my home, but if I'm
traveling, having like a spacethat's why we've talked about
it's so important for me to havelike my own room, because
that's like my grounding space,and if I don't have that, then I
just notice everything feels alittle more scattered for me.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
I feel that Really Thank you for clarifying that.
I always wonder You're like,why doesn't she like to share?
I thought she just wasn't asharer.
That's so good, all right.
And last one If someone issitting in the silence of their
loss, what's one loving truththey can hold?
Speaker 2 (53:28):
onto today.
You're not alone.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
Boom.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
Thank you so much.
This was so lovely, and.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
I just really appreciate you taking the time
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