What if I told you your roadmap to exponential transformation was in your hands all along? Today, I’m continuing my conversation with Enneagram expert, Tracy O’Malley, as we pull back the curtain on the vulnerable moments of the transformation journey. We get raw and real as Tracy shares her experience recalibrating her mind, body, and spirit into alignment, before dropping the truth bombs those who are currently in the thick of it NEED to hear. We also break down how the Enneagram ties into spiritual transformation, and how you can use yours as the divine framework to catapult yourself to the next level.
HIGHLIGHTS
- How to lean into vulnerability and handle betrayal.
- What it really looks (and feels) like to go through major transformation.
- How the Enneagram ties into faith and spiritual growth.
- Using the Enneagram as your divine roadmap (+ unpacking my Enneagram type)
- Advice for those who are struggling or are in the thick of it.
- The biggest lies we’ve been told about going through difficult seasons.
RESOURCES + LINKS
Learn more about the Enneagram and Tracy’s coaching programs HERE
Check out upcoming retreats + more: chrissymay.com
FOLLOW
Chrissy May: @thechrissymay
Tracy O’Malley: @tracy_omalley
**GRAB MY BOOK ON AMAZON!**
https://a.co/d/63r93l6
Connect with Chrissy:
YouTube: @ChrissyMayAligned
Instagram: @theChrissyMay
Website for more information: ChrissyMay.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
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(00:27):
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(00:49):
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This is a once-in-a-lifetimeexperience that you do not want
(01:10):
to miss.
Everything is designed toawaken the divine within.
This is more than a retreat.
It's a homecoming to yourself.
So are you ready to transform?
If so, then join us in Greecethis September.
You can head on over tochrissymaycom for more
information and to schedule yourcall Now back to the show.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
And so this last year I've been in my full feminine
energy and I am not a fan and Ialso really fucking love it,
because everything that is forthis next layer of my life, this
next era of my life, my curtaincall, so to speak, this curtain
call and the legacy I'm goingto leave behind this is required
(01:56):
because I'm recalibrating tonot just be the force that I am.
I know I'm a force Like as agiven.
I've been a force since I wastwo feet tall, but now to be
this divine feminine force islike the real glow up and the
real flex, and so I'm here forit, no matter how uncomfortable
(02:17):
it is Deep bow, sister, deep bow.
That is so uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Oh my god, that is the real work in real time.
Real time, and that is the, tome, the epitome of people
showing up and doing the realwork, not just the work.
I'm checking the boxes and Idid my practices.
Every day, like you're in thetrenches of fully living and
showing up and you're only goingto find your people by going
(02:46):
through it.
Right, for instance, I felt youso deeply when you mentioned
about being vulnerable, so wedid have that powerful
conversation and I think whatit's so scary is when you've
been vulnerable in the past andsomeone has used that abusively
against you, or however that maylook like, it's really hard to
trust in that process again toopen up and be so.
However, and that's the wholepart of it, you're supposed to
(03:11):
keep moving through thosechapters and seasons so you can
build this beautiful beingnessand becoming even more connected
and deeply, deeply connected intrue oneness, and so I love
that you shared that.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
I will share this too , because what you just said is
so key, like when you've beenburned, especially by people
that you thought you could trustfully.
I had a betrayal about God twoand a half years ago now with
one of the very few women that Iallowed myself to be fully,
well as vulnerable as I wascapable in that relationship.
I will say I never fully wentthere because I intuitively and
(03:45):
was divinely protected to knowshe couldn't do it.
However, she got more of methan any other person outside of
my children had gotten andthere was this breakdown in the
relationship and she betrayed me.
She did me so dirty, so dirtyand even though I knew it wasn't
about me, it was more about her, it's still fucking hurt.
(04:06):
I'm a human being.
Um, this was hard for me and myvery first prayer in the very
like first, don't get me wrong,I'll turn my life into a
Dateline episode in two minutesif I have to.
However, once I got throughthat, the rage that I felt for
those two minutes because I waslike, so angry, my very first
prayer was God, please don'tharden my heart and wall me up
(04:29):
so much that I miss thebeautiful, beautiful, amazing
connections and women that arecoming to be my sisters on this
journey so that I can honor thecalling and the mission you have
on my life.
My very first prayer within twominutes was do not harden my
heart.
And sure shit, the right peoplelike that.
Betrayal made room for all ofit, and had I been so angry and
(04:53):
and let betrayal rob me of myown vulnerability, I'm not here
today with you having thisconversation.
My spirituality would have beena fucking marketing plan rather
than my essence and myembodiment.
You know what I'm saying.
So I have to walk that talk.
It's not easy.
It's not easy and even still,with my you know, I got a tattoo
(05:17):
with two of my girls the otherday.
It's this triangle, right Mind,body, spirit and we're all one
corner of it.
And even knowing how safe andsecure and pure they are, I'm
still scared.
Every time I'm in vulnerabilitywith them, I'm like, please
don't betray me.
Yeah, like please don't betrayme.
Please don't turn your back onme, even if we have to have a
(05:39):
hard conversation, or even if Ido something that hurts you,
triggers you, whatever,activates you, whatever, please
stay in this with me.
I have never said that in mylife, ever, because the very
people that were supposed to dothat for me, failed me.
No matter how great of peoplethey were and they were, they
didn't have the skills or thewillingness or the
(06:01):
accountability to do that for me.
So leaning into that today isso I mean, I just I'm doing it
in real time with you all.
It doesn't.
I would say it's like buildinga muscle, like obviously the
more reps you put in, the easierit gets, but it's still scary
as fuck every time I do it yeah,I I agree with you.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I don't think there's ever a moment to where it's not
scary, because the past, thepast, the pain of the past is so
fresh.
You know that wound.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Muscle memory is no joke.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
It's like it's still there.
You've been cut open and rippedopen, ripped apart, and to
still show up, though, and stillcontinue to move forward and
blaze trails and trust theprocess.
But I think there's a deeperlayer to that, and that is where
, in my opinion, the differenceis to those that are truly
connected to God, as opposed tothose who are just walking their
(06:51):
own path and they're in theirown ego.
You can vastly see a differenceand you can feel a difference
and feel a difference and to thepeople that come and betray the
very vulnerable ability that weshare.
They're the ones walkingwithout connection.
They're the ones walking intospiritual ego and spiritual
(07:12):
narcissism many times right, andso I just feel like it's always
as much as it hurts and it justtears you to pieces.
It's also just a reminder ofthe spaces that are open to us
after the storm, the people thatare there for you when you know
that's where you're supposed tobe, I guess, is my point.
They just kind of fall away andyou're going towards where
(07:34):
you're supposed to be guided.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
You know it's painful .
I was telling you I had myAkashic records read human
design I'm into.
Obviously the Enneagram is myfavorite tool, astrology, all
the things.
And part of my calling is to bethis mirror for people and some
people are really drawn to it.
(07:56):
A lot of people are reallydrawn to it at first and either
they get what they need from mein the mirror that I am and they
move on and that can feelpainful sometimes, or the mirror
is so bright that they can'thandle the light and then
they'll project and blame likethat person did.
And that also, even though Iunderstand all of this from the
(08:17):
neck up, like in all of mycharts and all of my tools that
kind of explain who I am andGod's plan for my life even
though I understand this fullyfrom the neck up and cognitively
know this is more about themthan it is you, it's still from
the neck down is so painful andI think this was a really
important part of gettingthrough grief of any sort.
(08:39):
And to get to transformation youhave to have acceptance and to
get to acceptance you have tofeel everything, not just
understand it.
Like feeling it from the neckdown felt weak to me at first.
I was like, well, if I justunderstand this, then they can't
hurt me and then I can move on.
And the same package withdifferent wrapping paper would
continue to show up.
(08:59):
And it's not until we allowourselves to feel the pain and
the hurt of those things that wecan move through it and blaze a
different trail.
The other thing that was saidto me just the other day because
I am in this state ofrecalibration and radically
uncomfortable, like I feel likeI'm blowing up my life in a lot
(09:20):
of ways.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I'm like what the fuck am I doing?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Like seriously, I don't even know.
I'm like am I an asshole?
Am I a fraud?
Am I going to?
You know, go on a bender.
What is happening, god, likeseriously, and it's just, I'm
being recalibrated.
And how it was explained to meis every time that we step out
like look at life like atightrope, right, and no matter
how skilled you are even youknow the people that do it as a
(09:42):
circus act and it's their careerthe first few steps are wobbly,
but it's not until you start toget momentum that it's like
boom, effortless.
And what was said to me is likeyou've been stepping out on the
tightrope most of your life.
You're just on level 2000.
So you're really way up thereright now and the look down is a
little bit.
(10:03):
It's a bigger fall.
You know, the higher you go up,the further the fall right.
And it's still the same fuckingtightrope, though you just got
to take those first few stepsout there.
And it was cool because I'm inthis mastermind and last year
one of the kind of like bondingthings we did was a ropes course
and one of the things was atightrope.
(10:23):
It is so symbolic for where Ihave, where I've been in the
last few months.
Like you know, I'm, my feet areon the rope, but my hand is
still on the post behind me andI'm, like you know I'd start to
take a step.
It's like no, no, not yet, notyet, not yet, not yet, not yet.
And on the other end of the ropewas somebody that we were to
(10:44):
meet in the middle.
I could see how terrified shewas.
She was petrified and I waslike she's not going to go if I
don't.
And I let go and, of course,like my heart, like I'm feeling
it in my whole body right now,the first few steps, I'm like
fuck, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonnafall, I'm gonna fall.
And I was like I just likelaser focus, straight ahead.
And she's like your eyes arekeeping me sane right now.
(11:05):
And I was just like laser focusand I was like boom, like a
jaguar across that thing.
And when that was reminded tome this week, I was like just
get on the goddamn rope, justget on the rope and get some
momentum and the rest will fallinto place.
So, no matter what level, howmany ropes high you are, right
(11:26):
now, it's still the same damnrope.
Look straight ahead, not downand go.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I love it.
Lock in, stay in your lane.
Yeah, just go yeah laserfocused, it's just go, and the
power of having somebody alongthe way, you know, I mean the
person you could even just lockinto.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, with that, trust, the process and all of it
crazy yeah crazy when I likewhen that was said to me this
week about the tightrope and I Irecalled back to that moment
and the strength I felt inanything in my life when I, you
know, walked away from thecareer and started a whole new
in a whole new industry with awhole different kind of person.
(12:03):
I got on that rope and just wentand I felt like, so embodied in
God, like this is the callingon my life, Like I honor the
calling and the mission you haveon my life.
But I have to take those stepsof faith that even if I fall,
it's going to be okay, it'sgoing to be more than okay, and
every time I have fallen in mylife I got back up and something
(12:26):
better was on the other end ofthe rope and so I'm just going
to keep doing it.
I'm terrified, honestly, rightnow I'm so terrified because
this is the biggest highestlevel that I've ever gone.
I have a lot more to lose todaythan I did 15 years ago.
15 years ago, like people wereeating popcorn, we're like this
is going to be fun to watch thisshit show.
Now, you know, I've earned alot of credibility and trust and
(12:49):
respect in, you know, networksall over the globe today that me
falling off that rope seemslike death to me, and it's
actually where I can facilitatemore transformation is having
the courage and bravery to justfucking go.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Absolutely, and by I mean just by doing it and being
so open and honest about whereyou're at with everything.
I think just it hits so muchdeeper than with somebody
sitting in the seat, like youare at in your position, in your
power, in your authority andspeaking all perfect and how we
have it all together.
(13:27):
There's so much morerelativeness when you can
actually know that we're all init.
Right, we're all going throughsomething at some season in our
life, but we are petrified andthe only way out is through, you
know and not numbing and not,you know, finding ways to check
out.
And I've been there, you know,and it's like it doesn't do you
(13:48):
any good.
You have to go through it.
You know, you're justprolonging.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Absolutely Honestly, you're just prolonging.
And I've sat on the deathbedwith the two most influential
men in my life both way before.
They should have been there andwe don't get this time back.
And both of them, even thoughthey had success in their life
and lots of good things in theirlife, they would have given
(14:13):
anything to do some thingsdifferently and to have more
time.
And I'll be damned if I wasteone more moment.
Okay, I'm saying this to you,god, like I hear you, like I'll
be damned if I waste one moremoment not honoring that calling
on my life.
No matter how terrified I am,I'm right there with you and I'm
(14:33):
so scared.
I'm so scared right now I'm herefor you.
I wanted to cancel thisinterview.
I was like I wanted to canceltoo.
I was like what the fuck am Idoing here?
Like seriously, I got nothing,and here we are having a great
conversation that's going tobless the hell out of somebody
else.
I agree.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
And I think guest Tracy just said she was going to
both be for similar reasons tosome degree, right, and it's
just keep showing up.
Get on the rope, yeah, Get onthe rope.
Get on the rope and go.
So I'm curious we don't need togo into too great detail of it
yeah how does the Enneagramreally tie into all of this?
All of it Just kind of like anyou know if you were to give
(15:13):
like a cliff?
note version you know cliffnotes back in the day, we had
those yellow packets yeah,Before you could use chat, gpt,
exactly Like yeah, we actuallyhad to buy the book.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
You know what I love about the Enneagram and how it
leads us back to God.
Even you know I've carried twobabies in my body and I know how
they were in utero before theywere earthside and before life
lifed them a little bit, liketheir essence and their makeup.
I could feel it in my body.
And then you know they come outinto the world and you know
(15:45):
very true to that.
But then you know they're putinto circumstances and families
and situations and even traumasthat can alter the expression of
that.
And I think what's cool aboutthe Enneagram is it brings us to
the true essence of who Goddesigned you to be.
Now we do have free will andlife is gonna life, you right,
and that's where the rest of itkind of serves as this roadmap.
(16:07):
I know like my calling and mymotive is all into being strong
and powerful in a healthy wayright, but what I was taught,
told and modeled about whatbeing strong and powerful in a
healthy way right, but what Iwas taught, told and modeled
about what was strong andpowerful was very dysfunctional,
like being in that.
Vulnerability is actually whereall my power is and all my
strength is, but we gooff-roading, sometimes, right,
we come out of our home base.
(16:28):
Even God came out of his homebase.
God was an Enneagram 9,.
I believe Jesus was anEnneagram nine and although the
ultimate peacemaker that's whatthe nine is there were times
where Jesus had to throw it downfor some of the rascals in the
Bible.
Right, like he's, like you guysare crackers and you're acting
like nuts and what is going on?
(16:48):
He had to whip them, you know,like, so to speak, like into
shape, like even Jesus had tokind of step into other parts of
who he was in order to bring,you know, goodness and peace to
us all.
And I think we all have that.
And when we know, kind of goback to the Atlas for a minute
when I was a little girl, likehow do we get from here to there
(17:09):
?
When, when I want to be in thatwalled up, stoic, unvulnerable
version of myself with theframework of the Enneagram, when
you know how to integrate someof this information and make it
into transformation, if I'm justin that intensity all the time,
I can't do the work that I do,I can't be the mother that I am,
I can't be the friend that I am, that is nurturing and
(17:31):
sensitive and empathetic.
Sensitive and empathetic.
My natural makeup is likedivine and conquer and protect.
And so when you use the entireframework of the Enneagram, you
can tap into these other parts,you can pull these levers.
I like to liken it like if youthink about your favorite movie
characters or TV show characters, or even Jesus.
(17:51):
Right, there's always thissupporting cast within ourselves
, like obviously, out in theworld we have a supporting cast
and you know other players.
But the beauty of the Enneagramis seeing that we have a
supporting cast built into us.
We just have to know what theirskills are, when to pull them
out and it's all right there.
It's all right there.
(18:11):
So when I'm in that intensityand like a force and a bulldozer
, like although that has workedout sometimes in my life, it's
also almost destroyed the verythings that mean the most to me.
So I have to use kind of moreof this free spirited part of me
and the visionary and thinkingforward and the playful parts of
me, so it's not just so intenseall the time, and then I also
(18:33):
have to pull in the wisdom andthe inclusivity.
And how do I communicate thisin a filter where more can
receive the divine message,because not everybody's going to
receive the message if I'm sofucking intense all the time.
I'm still intense, but I canfilter it with, like this,
divine wisdom.
That's all the framework of theEnneagram and knowing how to
(18:53):
use it.
And then there's also thecompass part of the Enneagram
and knowing how to use it.
And then there's also thecompass part of the Enneagram.
Those are like the supportingcast parts of the Enneagram.
They're called the wings.
But then there's the compass tokind of let us know where we
are in this journey.
Right, we have this number.
We go to like if we're saying Iwant to be the best version of
myself, the target is very clearwhat that looks like in front
of you, and it's usually thething that makes you the most
(19:15):
uncomfortable, but at least whenyou see the target, you know
where you're aiming.
Doesn't mean it's easy andthat's why the supporting cast
is so strong.
The wings are so strong because, left to your own ways, you'll
never hit that target.
Left to my own, eight ways, Iam not going to that zone, but
the wings can.
The supporting cast can help medo that.
And also, when I'm underextreme stress or you're under
(19:37):
extreme stress before Iunderstood this, this is usually
where the self-loathing, theisolation, the beating ourselves
up, the annihilating ourselves,the numbing, the self-abuse
there's also within yourframework.
You can see what that mightlook like and instead of taking
it and going further off thecliff, you can understand like,
(19:59):
of course, you're under stress.
The supporting cast can come inand help pull you out and you
can also use that stressfulmoment.
There's gifts within stress.
If you channel and leveragethem properly, that can actually
catapult you further into yourtransformation.
But you have to know whatyou're working with.
It's kind of like if you get inyour car and you're just
(20:20):
driving you have no idea whereyou're going.
Who knows what could happen.
But having a little GPS, evenif you want to take a scenic
route or if you want to take adetour, like at least having an
idea of where that's headed willabsolutely help you enjoy the
journey a little bit more.
And that is my kind of way ofexplaining the Enneagram.
It's all like we are alldivinely here for a big purpose
(20:44):
and each Enneagram type hastheir own beautiful, unique
gifts, and they're all very,very important.
Unfortunately, for most of us,we've been dropped into
circumstances, family situations, cultures, traumas that have
altered the divine expression ofthat, and my goal with bringing
the Enneagram to individuals,couples, partners, teams,
companies now is to help you bein your true essence so that we
(21:06):
can be a force in this world forgood.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I love it.
It's like a roadmap to yourgreatest self, like to really
allowing that to shine throughwhile becoming so hyper
self-aware with all of yourgifts.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Yeah, and when we go off-riding because we are,
because that's life, and lifedoes get stressful.
We're never going to be able toavoid that, but what we do when
we're there is key, and theEnneagram is that map navigation
system.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I love it.
How do we find out our?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
number.
So you know you go online, takea test.
They're all inaccurate about 65to 70 percent of the time.
And if you're using this, likeI just explained it, like it is
next to God and my faith, thisis my number one tool, right,
you have to have the rightinformation.
So, going it'd be like hey, Iwant to go to San Diego and you
(21:53):
keep ending up in Mexico and youdon't understand why.
Like that's, when you go takean online assessment and they're
inaccurate, that could happen.
I don't recommend that.
The assessment that I use now isover 95% accurate and once you
have the accurate information,then you actually can use this
like a roadmap and the beautifulkind of self-awareness tool
(22:14):
that it is.
So you can go to my website,traciomalleycom.
You'll get your own customizedblueprint.
Think of it like this 75-pagereference manual of your type.
You know your supporting cast,the compass, all the different
components, so that when you arein this you're like, oh shit, I
need this supporting cast, Ineed this wing, you know
(22:35):
whatever.
But again, like, havinginformation doesn't equal
transformation, it's integratingthis.
But that kind of blueprint andreference manual can certainly,
certainly help you on your way.
Plus, I have a podcast withover 420 episodes of all
Enneagram leadership,spirituality, wisdom.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And sure that your podcast as well.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
It is now called the Legend's Journey.
It's Enneagram, leadership andspirituality all wrapped up into
one.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I'll have all those links in the show notes as well,
so you can easily access them.
Oh my gosh, I want to learnmore about this.
I'm fascinated.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Well, girl you know what I'm going to go down?
What do you think my number is?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
If you were to guess, knowing what you know about me,
probably a three.
We all want to be like you, soI'm a three there's, that is
three, the best one they're allvery, very important.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Threes are like the pace car you guys show us what's
possible, efficient,resourceful, tenacious.
Um see, a goal, hit a goal iskind of what your motive is.
You like to win.
But, and you know, a lot oftimes threes believe their worth
is in what they do, what theyachieve or how they appear in
the world.
So that can feel empty.
And how many times have youcrossed the finish line?
(23:45):
You're like, yep, well, I don'tfeel much from that so let's
just set another goal.
What's next?
What's next?
What's next um threes?
It's tough for you guys it is.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
It is tough being me, but you make it look really
easy.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
So it's hard sometimes for those of us that
aren't threes to see like theproblem in that.
But you also know, like howmany times have you gotten to
the end zone?
You feel like you're the onlyone there and it's like what am
I doing all this for?
Yeah, I feel a lot of that forsure.
So helping my goal in life isto help three slow down, which
they hate it, because it's likeif if I slow down, somebody's
(24:23):
gonna win, somebody else isgonna win.
But it's like if you slow down,you'll bring more with you.
You'll feel like you'll knowyou're doing this not just
because it's measurable or youcan win it.
You're doing it because youwere divinely ordered to do it
and it will feel so much betterand no matter what, when you
operate from that, from thatcalling, from that.
I'm doing this because I don'teven care about the measurables
(24:45):
attached to it.
When a three steps into that,you win every fucking time.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, I do.
I feel like that's where I'moperating from now.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I know you are Like where it's just you totally are.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Like I just love doing what I do.
I know and I'm not reallylooking at metrics.
I know that's important, butI'm not really concerned, At
least for right now.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
No, that's like that is the glow up for an Enneagram
3 is.
I usually challenge them to dothings that aren't measurable,
recorded on a spreadsheet, a P&Lacknowledged publicly and
they're like.
Then how do I know if I'm greator if I won?
I'm like because you are.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Just because you are.
I love that.
That is so good, yeah, tracyO'Malley.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
I just love having you on here right now Like ooh
ooh ooh, so I'm going toactually do.
I love these kinds of things Iknow.
I love not knowing the question.
She has no idea where I'm goingwith this one.
These are my favorite.
Okay, what are we doing?
Speaker 1 (25:41):
A few, just kind of.
I want to give some likeO'Malley tips you know, because
you have so many great.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Buckle up, you do.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
You really do.
So I'm going to go through aseries of questions that are
really going to help theaudience listeners too.
So get your pen and paper ready.
You know pen and paper.
Put your armor on.
Put it on.
It could get hot around here.
It always gets hot around herein the thick of the struggle.
(26:08):
I love correlating higher selfmoments back to younger self
moments for those that are inthe process of right now,
because it's always a journey,right?
We're constantly evolving andgrowing all the things, and so I
think it's always just so niceto tap into that higher self.
Looking back at the younger self, like really just sitting into
that whole seat of it all.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Honestly, what I say now is the same thing God said
to me this is all going tomatter for something much bigger
and more beautiful than you caneven imagine.
And so when I was four, when Iwas nine and very clearly heard
that messaging, that is now myown voice when I'm in the thick
of this, like right now, likethis is all gonna matter for
(26:51):
something much more big andbeautiful than you can even
imagine.
So write that down, yeah it'strue, it's hard.
It's like it's almost sayinglike I was joking with a friend
this week she's going throughsomething that was like really
hard and I'm like I'm not gonnabullshit you by saying, oh, this
is happening for you and not toyou.
(27:12):
Like that's real nice, but notwhen you're in it, Like it feels
this is happening to me, Right,and so, instead of even
patronizing myself with oh, thisis happening for you, it's more
like this divine knowing, likethis is going to be more
beautiful and impactful than youcan even imagine.
That feels way better than oh,you're being punished and this
(27:34):
is happening for you Like youalways have to struggle in order
for it to be for you Like no,that's not always true, but like
more of that nurturing,protective, guiding voice that
God has always been in my life.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
I love that you share that, because I think we get so
just bombarded with Instagramclips.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Word salad, word salad.
I love that Word salad.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Shut the fuck up already with it Like throw a
little goddess dressing on it.
It's all going to be okay,please and don't, don't stop.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
I know there's a lot I know it's beautiful and
they're great marketers and I amenvious of that, but shut the
fuck up.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Yeah, already.
Yeah, I think it's so nice tohave just another real, real
explanation on when you're goingthrough the struggle and how
that looks like and how you canlean into it, lean in, not out.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Not avoid, not disassociassociate, not come up
with a better marketing plan.
Stop it right, lean in oreverything happens for a reason.
I fucking hate that, becausethere's there's a lot of heinous
shit that happens, that youknow I'm a product of sexual
abuse and assault and stuff, andthere's nothing in that that
(28:53):
happened for a reason.
Now I will say this thoughAnything that does happen, you
absolutely 100% have the powerto turn into something beautiful
.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
It's what you do with it.
It's what you do with it, but Iagree with you it didn't happen
for you?
No, that did not happen for me,I've been shifting my
perspective on a lot of that.
You know, just kind of, as weevolve and we grow inward and we
really stay more connectedalong this journey.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
You just start realizing how much spiritual
would you say spiritual salad,Spiritual arrogance.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, or just a lot of like blah blah, blah, blah
blah, you know, know, and pleasegetting more of the
best-selling books that are outthere right now.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I'm not gonna mention any but is it a lines in a line
?
It's not bad I love this book.
Good to know, but there aresome really great books out
there.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
That's like you didn't invent that shit yeah, I
know, it's just regurgitated,it's beautiful marketing it's
regurgitated and it's amazingand you got the platform, but,
please, you trademarked it.
You didn't fucking do it.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah, whatever yeah, but people feel through, people
see through that, though, andfeel through it.
They will eventually, you knowif it's not now, it'll
eventually will be there it'sokay.
Just because we're along thistopic, and I would love to hear
your feedback too.
You know, as I'm moving throughfacilitating a lot of these
women's sacred experiences andretreats and they're all so
different in so many ways andhow they're curated.
(30:16):
I'm obviously meeting a lotmore facilitators, you know, in
this space and I think that'sjust the one thing that really
kind of stings is when you startfinding people in this space of
leadership that are shaming andguilting, Irresponsible.
Irresponsibly, I mean, here weare showing up but they can't
sell them into the next thing.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
if there's not a problem to solve, so let's shame
and put them in a deeper holeso that this product is what you
can do next.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Right, Like I get it.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Trust me Like I'm a business savvy person, but not
at the expense of integrity,irresponsibility.
I mean, we're talking aboutpeople's lives and it is so
disgusting what I see a lot oftimes.
So if you are somebody thatfacilitates people, you better
be sure as fuck, If you're goingto crack them open, you know
(31:08):
how to guide them in a way thatserves them and their highest
good, not your marketing planand pocketbook 100%.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
You heard it right from Tracy O'Malley.
I'm telling you I needed tohave that conversation because
it's been so heavy on my heartwhen I watch it and witness it.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
It's so discouraging, it's part of why I have stepped
back the last year, becausethere's so much noise it's like
I don't want to be grouped intothat.
So much noise, it's like Idon't want to be grouped into
that and people of light reallyneed to step forward to drown
out that.
But I had to recalibrate andget good with myself, because
I'm so fucking angry about that,like it's so irresponsible.
(31:42):
It's so irresponsible what Isee people do and then they end
up with me when they have fullblown PTSD and they've been sold
shit that you know is terribleand took them down a rabbit hole
that they didn't need to go to.
But this last year for me hasbeen building up my spiritual
wellness, my spiritual muscles,so that I can come out guns
blazing for these people.
(32:04):
I'm done.
I'm done being quiet about it.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I'm right there with you, fuck.
I just said it.
I'm joining forces with you.
I just said it.
So I guess it, I'm right there,and so it is, and so it is All
right.
Watch out world 2025.
Watch out the Jaguar's comingout, I guess.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
My God Big Aries moment.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Big Aries.
Aries is in my Venus.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Oh, and my Venus is in Taurus.
No wonder we love each other.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
I love it.
Are you ready for a rapid fire?
Speaker 2 (32:42):
round.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Fire away 18 power pack questions.
Oh shit.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
She has no idea what's coming at her right now.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
All right, are they spicy?
They can be, okay.
Good, I'm going to mix them up.
I have two sections I can dohere.
This is amazing.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Whatever we might have to make this two episodes
at this point, I'm going to dothis instead.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Okay, okay, all right .
What's one habit that haschanged your life?
Oh Prayer, if you could giveyour younger self one piece of
advice, what would it be?
Lean in.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
What's your go-to practice when you feel stuck or
overwhelmed?
Now I lean into my beautifulpeople in my life.
I go hiking, Honestly, I get ona mountain, get outside and
hike.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
What's one self-love ritual?
You swear by Baths.
What does healing look like toyou?
In one word?
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Hashtag messy as fuck .
So I saw one word if it's ahashtag.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
That's accurate.
What's the most powerful lessonpain has ever taught you?
This too shall pass.
What's your favoriteaffirmation or mantra?
Speaker 2 (34:04):
I am courageous, brave and open.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
How do?
Speaker 2 (34:08):
you tap into your intuition and open.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
How do?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
you tap into your intuition Quiet outdoors, like
being in nature, outside is thebest way Movement, movement.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
If you had to describe your soul's purpose in
one sentence, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
The rescuer.
What's one belief you had tounlearn to reach your next level
.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
That vulnerability is weakness.
What's the best investmentyou've ever made in yourself?
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Rehab.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
What's a lie you've told yourself for way too long.
That's not how strong girls doit.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
What's your most embarrassing spiritual or
self-growth moment?
I don't think there's any thatare embarrassing.
I will say it's notembarrassing, but it was a
learning experience and it goesback to kind of what we talked
about is me being on stages infront of 20,000 people and
telling the story.
I thought I was beingvulnerable and I preached that I
(35:21):
was being vulnerable, but I wasactually being transparent.
Big difference.
I was telling a story that I'dalready figured out and so I
wouldn't say it's embarrassing,but it was probably my biggest
deepest understanding and switchthat I have flipped.
That vulnerability is in realtime, not sure how things are
going to go, leaning in andsharing that with somebody who
may or may not be able to guideyou through that, but it isn't
(35:45):
embarrassing.
This is just like that's how welearn sometimes is through it.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Have you ever received an intuitive nudge,
ignored it and instantlyregretted it.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
It usually is an instant.
I don't regret it because therewas something for me to learn
through the fall of it.
Not fun though.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Never.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
No.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Have you ever had a spiritual meltdown in the most
inconvenient place?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
spill the tea I don't know about inconvenient place,
but I do have spiritualmeltdowns um like never at like
the grocery store checkout.
No like that no, I really,really don't, not now.
I'm so like emotionallyregulated for the most part.
I will say, like there aretimes, like I said for me today,
(36:38):
intensity like back in the day15 years ago, like seriously,
like I joke when I say I couldturn my life into a dateline
episode in two minutes.
That's no joke now.
It's like that, that burst ofand anger.
It's so rare anymore.
And even when it happens now,like anger is a healthy emotion
(36:58):
when leveraged and shifted intosomething good, so I turn it
pretty quickly.
So no, I wouldn't say there'sanything I'm embarrassed of or
inconvenient about it.
I will say last week I had aspiritual meltdown, but it
wasn't embarrassing.
In fact that was one of themost vulnerable growing moments
of my life.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
What's the one thing?
Entrepreneurs waste too muchtime on Learning and not doing.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
I'm talking to myself , y'all, just so you know.
Sitting in the work, gettingmore information, gathering more
information, and the more we dothat, it's like we're creating
our own virus in our body,because it's like overload,
overload.
It's like take a nugget andimplement it.
Take a nugget, implement it.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Are you sure the extra hundred certifications I
get aren't going to help me?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
No, which is funny because I'm not like a typical
certification getter kind ofgirl, but like I do like to
learn things, but then it's likeI get paralyzed by it instead
of just doing them what's onebelief that has completely
changed your life?
That god is good all the time,honestly so true.
(38:07):
Even when it's hard Hashtag,god is good.
Even when you're getting theshit kicked out of you sometimes
, god is good.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
If you had 30 seconds to inspire the world, what
would you say?
Oh God, you can make it aminute, I don't even know.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Honestly, it depends Like.
It depends who's in front of me, Like I can't cookie cut or
something.
It depends who's in front of me, Like I can't cookie cutter
something.
This is the beauty of myconnection to God is I can't
just pop out something withoutsome kind of energy in front of
me, because I'm not a cookiecutter kind of girl.
What I think the world probablyneeds to hear is to have hope
(38:48):
that you know the things thatyou are going through today, no
matter how unthinkable orunmanageable, there is something
beautiful that will come of it.
If you lean in, if you stay inthe full process of
understanding and feeling.
Understanding and feeling, youwill go to transformation and
acceptance and see why maybesome of that had to happen for
(39:11):
you to step into the highestversion, the version that God
has always created you to be.
And I will say that I know thatif you're in the thick of it,
it feels like you're drowning,it feels like you're all alone,
and I promise you you are notand you have to lean in.
I mean, that's not flashy orquotable, really, but that's the
fucking truth that I think mostof us need reminding of amen
(39:33):
sister, amen tracy o'malley.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
I adore you, I love you.
I love you.
Thanks for having me and notlet me cancel and I didn't let
you cancel so here we are,letting me cancel and we both
look kind of pretty today and wedo got our hair and makeup done
, got it all dude, dude, I knowI walked out of the house and
he's like damn like.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
I know it's not the troll that you usually see.
Thanks, the troll.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
I lay down that.
Thank you so much.
My pleasure, I appreciate you,love you, love you.
Attention, all my soul sisters, Imagine this eight
days of pure transformation ata private 10,000 square foot
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reconnecting with your highestself Heal, in the crystal clear
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what no longer serves you,You'll enjoy private boat rides
to hidden coves and a soulawakening visit to the iconic
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This is a once-in-a-lifetimeexperience that you do not want
(01:10):
to miss.
Everything is designed toawaken the divine within.
This is more than a retreat.
It's a homecoming to yourself.
So are you ready to transform?
If so, then join us in Greecethis September.
You can head on over tochrissymaycom for more
information and to schedule yourcall Now back to the show.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
And so this last year I've been in my full feminine
energy and I am not a fan and Ialso really fucking love it,
because everything that is forthis next layer of my life, this
next era of my life, my curtaincall, so to speak, this curtain
call and the legacy I'm goingto leave behind this is required
(01:56):
because I'm recalibrating tonot just be the force that I am.
I know I'm a force Like as agiven.
I've been a force since I wastwo feet tall, but now to be
this divine feminine force islike the real glow up and the
real flex, and so I'm here forit, no matter how uncomfortable
(02:17):
it is Deep bow, sister, deep bow.
That is so uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Oh my god, that is the real work in real time.
Real time, and that is the, tome, the epitome of people
showing up and doing the realwork, not just the work.
I'm checking the boxes and Idid my practices.
Every day, like you're in thetrenches of fully living and
showing up and you're only goingto find your people by going
(02:46):
through it.
Right, for instance, I felt youso deeply when you mentioned
about being vulnerable, so wedid have that powerful
conversation and I think whatit's so scary is when you've
been vulnerable in the past andsomeone has used that abusively
against you, or however that maylook like, it's really hard to
trust in that process again toopen up and be so.
However, and that's the wholepart of it, you're supposed to
(03:11):
keep moving through thosechapters and seasons so you can
build this beautiful beingnessand becoming even more connected
and deeply, deeply connected intrue oneness, and so I love
that you shared that.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
I will share this too , because what you just said is
so key, like when you've beenburned, especially by people
that you thought you could trustfully.
I had a betrayal about God twoand a half years ago now with
one of the very few women that Iallowed myself to be fully,
well as vulnerable as I wascapable in that relationship.
I will say I never fully wentthere because I intuitively and
(03:45):
was divinely protected to knowshe couldn't do it.
However, she got more of methan any other person outside of
my children had gotten andthere was this breakdown in the
relationship and she betrayed me.
She did me so dirty, so dirtyand even though I knew it wasn't
about me, it was more about her, it's still fucking hurt.
(04:06):
I'm a human being.
Um, this was hard for me and myvery first prayer in the very
like first, don't get me wrong,I'll turn my life into a
Dateline episode in two minutesif I have to.
However, once I got throughthat, the rage that I felt for
those two minutes because I waslike, so angry, my very first
prayer was God, please don'tharden my heart and wall me up
(04:29):
so much that I miss thebeautiful, beautiful, amazing
connections and women that arecoming to be my sisters on this
journey so that I can honor thecalling and the mission you have
on my life.
My very first prayer within twominutes was do not harden my
heart.
And sure shit, the right peoplelike that.
Betrayal made room for all ofit, and had I been so angry and
(04:53):
and let betrayal rob me of myown vulnerability, I'm not here
today with you having thisconversation.
My spirituality would have beena fucking marketing plan rather
than my essence and myembodiment.
You know what I'm saying.
So I have to walk that talk.
It's not easy.
It's not easy and even still,with my you know, I got a tattoo
(05:17):
with two of my girls the otherday.
It's this triangle, right Mind,body, spirit and we're all one
corner of it.
And even knowing how safe andsecure and pure they are, I'm
still scared.
Every time I'm in vulnerabilitywith them, I'm like, please
don't betray me.
Yeah, like please don't betrayme.
Please don't turn your back onme, even if we have to have a
(05:39):
hard conversation, or even if Ido something that hurts you,
triggers you, whatever,activates you, whatever, please
stay in this with me.
I have never said that in mylife, ever, because the very
people that were supposed to dothat for me, failed me.
No matter how great of peoplethey were and they were, they
didn't have the skills or thewillingness or the
(06:01):
accountability to do that for me.
So leaning into that today isso I mean, I just I'm doing it
in real time with you all.
It doesn't.
I would say it's like buildinga muscle, like obviously the
more reps you put in, the easierit gets, but it's still scary
as fuck every time I do it yeah,I I agree with you.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I don't think there's ever a moment to where it's not
scary, because the past, thepast, the pain of the past is so
fresh.
You know that wound.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Muscle memory is no joke.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
It's like it's still there.
You've been cut open and rippedopen, ripped apart, and to
still show up, though, and stillcontinue to move forward and
blaze trails and trust theprocess.
But I think there's a deeperlayer to that, and that is where
, in my opinion, the differenceis to those that are truly
connected to God, as opposed tothose who are just walking their
(06:51):
own path and they're in theirown ego.
You can vastly see a differenceand you can feel a difference
and feel a difference and to thepeople that come and betray the
very vulnerable ability that weshare.
They're the ones walkingwithout connection.
They're the ones walking intospiritual ego and spiritual
(07:12):
narcissism many times right, andso I just feel like it's always
as much as it hurts and it justtears you to pieces.
It's also just a reminder ofthe spaces that are open to us
after the storm, the people thatare there for you when you know
that's where you're supposed tobe, I guess, is my point.
They just kind of fall away andyou're going towards where
(07:34):
you're supposed to be guided.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
You know it's painful .
I was telling you I had myAkashic records read human
design I'm into.
Obviously the Enneagram is myfavorite tool, astrology, all
the things.
And part of my calling is to bethis mirror for people and some
people are really drawn to it.
(07:56):
A lot of people are reallydrawn to it at first and either
they get what they need from mein the mirror that I am and they
move on and that can feelpainful sometimes, or the mirror
is so bright that they can'thandle the light and then
they'll project and blame likethat person did.
And that also, even though Iunderstand all of this from the
(08:17):
neck up, like in all of mycharts and all of my tools that
kind of explain who I am andGod's plan for my life even
though I understand this fullyfrom the neck up and cognitively
know this is more about themthan it is you, it's still from
the neck down is so painful andI think this was a really
important part of gettingthrough grief of any sort.
(08:39):
And to get to transformation youhave to have acceptance and to
get to acceptance you have tofeel everything, not just
understand it.
Like feeling it from the neckdown felt weak to me at first.
I was like, well, if I justunderstand this, then they can't
hurt me and then I can move on.
And the same package withdifferent wrapping paper would
continue to show up.
(08:59):
And it's not until we allowourselves to feel the pain and
the hurt of those things that wecan move through it and blaze a
different trail.
The other thing that was saidto me just the other day because
I am in this state ofrecalibration and radically
uncomfortable, like I feel likeI'm blowing up my life in a lot
(09:20):
of ways.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I'm like what the fuck am I doing?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Like seriously, I don't even know.
I'm like am I an asshole?
Am I a fraud?
Am I going to?
You know, go on a bender.
What is happening, god, likeseriously, and it's just, I'm
being recalibrated.
And how it was explained to meis every time that we step out
like look at life like atightrope, right, and no matter
how skilled you are even youknow the people that do it as a
(09:42):
circus act and it's their careerthe first few steps are wobbly,
but it's not until you start toget momentum that it's like
boom, effortless.
And what was said to me is likeyou've been stepping out on the
tightrope most of your life.
You're just on level 2000.
So you're really way up thereright now and the look down is a
little bit.
(10:03):
It's a bigger fall.
You know, the higher you go up,the further the fall right.
And it's still the same fuckingtightrope, though you just got
to take those first few stepsout there.
And it was cool because I'm inthis mastermind and last year
one of the kind of like bondingthings we did was a ropes course
and one of the things was atightrope.
(10:23):
It is so symbolic for where Ihave, where I've been in the
last few months.
Like you know, I'm, my feet areon the rope, but my hand is
still on the post behind me andI'm, like you know I'd start to
take a step.
It's like no, no, not yet, notyet, not yet, not yet, not yet.
And on the other end of the ropewas somebody that we were to
(10:44):
meet in the middle.
I could see how terrified shewas.
She was petrified and I waslike she's not going to go if I
don't.
And I let go and, of course,like my heart, like I'm feeling
it in my whole body right now,the first few steps, I'm like
fuck, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonnafall, I'm gonna fall.
And I was like I just likelaser focus, straight ahead.
And she's like your eyes arekeeping me sane right now.
(11:05):
And I was just like laser focusand I was like boom, like a
jaguar across that thing.
And when that was reminded tome this week, I was like just
get on the goddamn rope, justget on the rope and get some
momentum and the rest will fallinto place.
So, no matter what level, howmany ropes high you are, right
(11:26):
now, it's still the same damnrope.
Look straight ahead, not downand go.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I love it.
Lock in, stay in your lane.
Yeah, just go yeah laserfocused, it's just go, and the
power of having somebody alongthe way, you know, I mean the
person you could even just lockinto.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, with that, trust, the process and all of it
crazy yeah crazy when I likewhen that was said to me this
week about the tightrope and I Irecalled back to that moment
and the strength I felt inanything in my life when I, you
know, walked away from thecareer and started a whole new
in a whole new industry with awhole different kind of person.
(12:03):
I got on that rope and just wentand I felt like, so embodied in
God, like this is the callingon my life, Like I honor the
calling and the mission you haveon my life.
But I have to take those stepsof faith that even if I fall,
it's going to be okay, it'sgoing to be more than okay, and
every time I have fallen in mylife I got back up and something
(12:26):
better was on the other end ofthe rope and so I'm just going
to keep doing it.
I'm terrified, honestly, rightnow I'm so terrified because
this is the biggest highestlevel that I've ever gone.
I have a lot more to lose todaythan I did 15 years ago.
15 years ago, like people wereeating popcorn, we're like this
is going to be fun to watch thisshit show.
Now, you know, I've earned alot of credibility and trust and
(12:49):
respect in, you know, networksall over the globe today that me
falling off that rope seemslike death to me, and it's
actually where I can facilitatemore transformation is having
the courage and bravery to justfucking go.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Absolutely, and by I mean just by doing it and being
so open and honest about whereyou're at with everything.
I think just it hits so muchdeeper than with somebody
sitting in the seat, like youare at in your position, in your
power, in your authority andspeaking all perfect and how we
have it all together.
(13:27):
There's so much morerelativeness when you can
actually know that we're all init.
Right, we're all going throughsomething at some season in our
life, but we are petrified andthe only way out is through, you
know and not numbing and not,you know, finding ways to check
out.
And I've been there, you know,and it's like it doesn't do you
(13:48):
any good.
You have to go through it.
You know, you're justprolonging.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Absolutely Honestly, you're just prolonging.
And I've sat on the deathbedwith the two most influential
men in my life both way before.
They should have been there andwe don't get this time back.
And both of them, even thoughthey had success in their life
and lots of good things in theirlife, they would have given
(14:13):
anything to do some thingsdifferently and to have more
time.
And I'll be damned if I wasteone more moment.
Okay, I'm saying this to you,god, like I hear you, like I'll
be damned if I waste one moremoment not honoring that calling
on my life.
No matter how terrified I am,I'm right there with you and I'm
(14:33):
so scared.
I'm so scared right now I'm herefor you.
I wanted to cancel thisinterview.
I was like I wanted to canceltoo.
I was like what the fuck am Idoing here?
Like seriously, I got nothing,and here we are having a great
conversation that's going tobless the hell out of somebody
else.
I agree.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
And I think guest Tracy just said she was going to
both be for similar reasons tosome degree, right, and it's
just keep showing up.
Get on the rope, yeah, Get onthe rope.
Get on the rope and go.
So I'm curious we don't need togo into too great detail of it
yeah how does the Enneagramreally tie into all of this?
All of it Just kind of like anyou know if you were to give
(15:13):
like a cliff?
note version you know cliffnotes back in the day, we had
those yellow packets yeah,Before you could use chat, gpt,
exactly Like yeah, we actuallyhad to buy the book.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
You know what I love about the Enneagram and how it
leads us back to God.
Even you know I've carried twobabies in my body and I know how
they were in utero before theywere earthside and before life
lifed them a little bit, liketheir essence and their makeup.
I could feel it in my body.
And then you know they come outinto the world and you know
(15:45):
very true to that.
But then you know they're putinto circumstances and families
and situations and even traumasthat can alter the expression of
that.
And I think what's cool aboutthe Enneagram is it brings us to
the true essence of who Goddesigned you to be.
Now we do have free will andlife is gonna life, you right,
and that's where the rest of itkind of serves as this roadmap.
(16:07):
I know like my calling and mymotive is all into being strong
and powerful in a healthy wayright, but what I was taught,
told and modeled about whatbeing strong and powerful in a
healthy way right, but what Iwas taught, told and modeled
about what was strong andpowerful was very dysfunctional,
like being in that.
Vulnerability is actually whereall my power is and all my
strength is, but we gooff-roading, sometimes, right,
we come out of our home base.
(16:28):
Even God came out of his homebase.
God was an Enneagram 9,.
I believe Jesus was anEnneagram nine and although the
ultimate peacemaker that's whatthe nine is there were times
where Jesus had to throw it downfor some of the rascals in the
Bible.
Right, like he's, like you guysare crackers and you're acting
like nuts and what is going on?
(16:48):
He had to whip them, you know,like, so to speak, like into
shape, like even Jesus had tokind of step into other parts of
who he was in order to bring,you know, goodness and peace to
us all.
And I think we all have that.
And when we know, kind of goback to the Atlas for a minute
when I was a little girl, likehow do we get from here to there
(17:09):
?
When, when I want to be in thatwalled up, stoic, unvulnerable
version of myself with theframework of the Enneagram, when
you know how to integrate someof this information and make it
into transformation, if I'm justin that intensity all the time,
I can't do the work that I do,I can't be the mother that I am,
I can't be the friend that I am, that is nurturing and
(17:31):
sensitive and empathetic.
Sensitive and empathetic.
My natural makeup is likedivine and conquer and protect.
And so when you use the entireframework of the Enneagram, you
can tap into these other parts,you can pull these levers.
I like to liken it like if youthink about your favorite movie
characters or TV show characters, or even Jesus.
(17:51):
Right, there's always thissupporting cast within ourselves
, like obviously, out in theworld we have a supporting cast
and you know other players.
But the beauty of the Enneagramis seeing that we have a
supporting cast built into us.
We just have to know what theirskills are, when to pull them
out and it's all right there.
It's all right there.
(18:11):
So when I'm in that intensityand like a force and a bulldozer
, like although that has workedout sometimes in my life, it's
also almost destroyed the verythings that mean the most to me.
So I have to use kind of moreof this free spirited part of me
and the visionary and thinkingforward and the playful parts of
me, so it's not just so intenseall the time, and then I also
(18:33):
have to pull in the wisdom andthe inclusivity.
And how do I communicate thisin a filter where more can
receive the divine message,because not everybody's going to
receive the message if I'm sofucking intense all the time.
I'm still intense, but I canfilter it with, like this,
divine wisdom.
That's all the framework of theEnneagram and knowing how to
(18:53):
use it.
And then there's also thecompass part of the Enneagram
and knowing how to use it.
And then there's also thecompass part of the Enneagram.
Those are like the supportingcast parts of the Enneagram.
They're called the wings.
But then there's the compass tokind of let us know where we
are in this journey.
Right, we have this number.
We go to like if we're saying Iwant to be the best version of
myself, the target is very clearwhat that looks like in front
of you, and it's usually thething that makes you the most
(19:15):
uncomfortable, but at least whenyou see the target, you know
where you're aiming.
Doesn't mean it's easy andthat's why the supporting cast
is so strong.
The wings are so strong because, left to your own ways, you'll
never hit that target.
Left to my own, eight ways, Iam not going to that zone, but
the wings can.
The supporting cast can help medo that.
And also, when I'm underextreme stress or you're under
(19:37):
extreme stress before Iunderstood this, this is usually
where the self-loathing, theisolation, the beating ourselves
up, the annihilating ourselves,the numbing, the self-abuse
there's also within yourframework.
You can see what that mightlook like and instead of taking
it and going further off thecliff, you can understand like,
(19:59):
of course, you're under stress.
The supporting cast can come inand help pull you out and you
can also use that stressfulmoment.
There's gifts within stress.
If you channel and leveragethem properly, that can actually
catapult you further into yourtransformation.
But you have to know whatyou're working with.
It's kind of like if you get inyour car and you're just
(20:20):
driving you have no idea whereyou're going.
Who knows what could happen.
But having a little GPS, evenif you want to take a scenic
route or if you want to take adetour, like at least having an
idea of where that's headed willabsolutely help you enjoy the
journey a little bit more.
And that is my kind of way ofexplaining the Enneagram.
It's all like we are alldivinely here for a big purpose
(20:44):
and each Enneagram type hastheir own beautiful, unique
gifts, and they're all very,very important.
Unfortunately, for most of us,we've been dropped into
circumstances, family situations, cultures, traumas that have
altered the divine expression ofthat, and my goal with bringing
the Enneagram to individuals,couples, partners, teams,
companies now is to help you bein your true essence so that we
(21:06):
can be a force in this world forgood.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I love it.
It's like a roadmap to yourgreatest self, like to really
allowing that to shine throughwhile becoming so hyper
self-aware with all of yourgifts.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Yeah, and when we go off-riding because we are,
because that's life, and lifedoes get stressful.
We're never going to be able toavoid that, but what we do when
we're there is key, and theEnneagram is that map navigation
system.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I love it.
How do we find out our?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
number.
So you know you go online, takea test.
They're all inaccurate about 65to 70 percent of the time.
And if you're using this, likeI just explained it, like it is
next to God and my faith, thisis my number one tool, right,
you have to have the rightinformation.
So, going it'd be like hey, Iwant to go to San Diego and you
(21:53):
keep ending up in Mexico and youdon't understand why.
Like that's, when you go takean online assessment and they're
inaccurate, that could happen.
I don't recommend that.
The assessment that I use now isover 95% accurate and once you
have the accurate information,then you actually can use this
like a roadmap and the beautifulkind of self-awareness tool
(22:14):
that it is.
So you can go to my website,traciomalleycom.
You'll get your own customizedblueprint.
Think of it like this 75-pagereference manual of your type.
You know your supporting cast,the compass, all the different
components, so that when you arein this you're like, oh shit, I
need this supporting cast, Ineed this wing, you know
(22:35):
whatever.
But again, like, havinginformation doesn't equal
transformation, it's integratingthis.
But that kind of blueprint andreference manual can certainly,
certainly help you on your way.
Plus, I have a podcast withover 420 episodes of all
Enneagram leadership,spirituality, wisdom.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And sure that your podcast as well.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
It is now called the Legend's Journey.
It's Enneagram, leadership andspirituality all wrapped up into
one.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I'll have all those links in the show notes as well,
so you can easily access them.
Oh my gosh, I want to learnmore about this.
I'm fascinated.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Well, girl you know what I'm going to go down?
What do you think my number is?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
If you were to guess, knowing what you know about me,
probably a three.
We all want to be like you, soI'm a three there's, that is
three, the best one they're allvery, very important.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Threes are like the pace car you guys show us what's
possible, efficient,resourceful, tenacious.
Um see, a goal, hit a goal iskind of what your motive is.
You like to win.
But, and you know, a lot oftimes threes believe their worth
is in what they do, what theyachieve or how they appear in
the world.
So that can feel empty.
And how many times have youcrossed the finish line?
(23:45):
You're like, yep, well, I don'tfeel much from that so let's
just set another goal.
What's next?
What's next?
What's next um threes?
It's tough for you guys it is.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
It is tough being me, but you make it look really
easy.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
So it's hard sometimes for those of us that
aren't threes to see like theproblem in that.
But you also know, like howmany times have you gotten to
the end zone?
You feel like you're the onlyone there and it's like what am
I doing all this for?
Yeah, I feel a lot of that forsure.
So helping my goal in life isto help three slow down, which
they hate it, because it's likeif if I slow down, somebody's
(24:23):
gonna win, somebody else isgonna win.
But it's like if you slow down,you'll bring more with you.
You'll feel like you'll knowyou're doing this not just
because it's measurable or youcan win it.
You're doing it because youwere divinely ordered to do it
and it will feel so much betterand no matter what, when you
operate from that, from thatcalling, from that.
I'm doing this because I don'teven care about the measurables
(24:45):
attached to it.
When a three steps into that,you win every fucking time.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, I do.
I feel like that's where I'moperating from now.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I know you are Like where it's just you totally are.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Like I just love doing what I do.
I know and I'm not reallylooking at metrics.
I know that's important, butI'm not really concerned, At
least for right now.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
No, that's like that is the glow up for an Enneagram
3 is.
I usually challenge them to dothings that aren't measurable,
recorded on a spreadsheet, a P&Lacknowledged publicly and
they're like.
Then how do I know if I'm greator if I won?
I'm like because you are.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Just because you are.
I love that.
That is so good, yeah, tracyO'Malley.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
I just love having you on here right now Like ooh
ooh ooh, so I'm going toactually do.
I love these kinds of things Iknow.
I love not knowing the question.
She has no idea where I'm goingwith this one.
These are my favorite.
Okay, what are we doing?
Speaker 1 (25:41):
A few, just kind of.
I want to give some likeO'Malley tips you know, because
you have so many great.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Buckle up, you do.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
You really do.
So I'm going to go through aseries of questions that are
really going to help theaudience listeners too.
So get your pen and paper ready.
You know pen and paper.
Put your armor on.
Put it on.
It could get hot around here.
It always gets hot around herein the thick of the struggle.
(26:08):
I love correlating higher selfmoments back to younger self
moments for those that are inthe process of right now,
because it's always a journey,right?
We're constantly evolving andgrowing all the things, and so I
think it's always just so niceto tap into that higher self.
Looking back at the younger self, like really just sitting into
that whole seat of it all.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Honestly, what I say now is the same thing God said
to me this is all going tomatter for something much bigger
and more beautiful than you caneven imagine.
And so when I was four, when Iwas nine and very clearly heard
that messaging, that is now myown voice when I'm in the thick
of this, like right now, likethis is all gonna matter for
(26:51):
something much more big andbeautiful than you can even
imagine.
So write that down, yeah it'strue, it's hard.
It's like it's almost sayinglike I was joking with a friend
this week she's going throughsomething that was like really
hard and I'm like I'm not gonnabullshit you by saying, oh, this
is happening for you and not toyou.
(27:12):
Like that's real nice, but notwhen you're in it, Like it feels
this is happening to me, Right,and so, instead of even
patronizing myself with oh, thisis happening for you, it's more
like this divine knowing, likethis is going to be more
beautiful and impactful than youcan even imagine.
That feels way better than oh,you're being punished and this
(27:34):
is happening for you Like youalways have to struggle in order
for it to be for you Like no,that's not always true, but like
more of that nurturing,protective, guiding voice that
God has always been in my life.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
I love that you share that, because I think we get so
just bombarded with Instagramclips.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Word salad, word salad.
I love that Word salad.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Shut the fuck up already with it Like throw a
little goddess dressing on it.
It's all going to be okay,please and don't, don't stop.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
I know there's a lot I know it's beautiful and
they're great marketers and I amenvious of that, but shut the
fuck up.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Yeah, already.
Yeah, I think it's so nice tohave just another real, real
explanation on when you're goingthrough the struggle and how
that looks like and how you canlean into it, lean in, not out.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Not avoid, not disassociassociate, not come up
with a better marketing plan.
Stop it right, lean in oreverything happens for a reason.
I fucking hate that, becausethere's there's a lot of heinous
shit that happens, that youknow I'm a product of sexual
abuse and assault and stuff, andthere's nothing in that that
(28:53):
happened for a reason.
Now I will say this thoughAnything that does happen, you
absolutely 100% have the powerto turn into something beautiful
.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
It's what you do with it.
It's what you do with it, but Iagree with you it didn't happen
for you?
No, that did not happen for me,I've been shifting my
perspective on a lot of that.
You know, just kind of, as weevolve and we grow inward and we
really stay more connectedalong this journey.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
You just start realizing how much spiritual
would you say spiritual salad,Spiritual arrogance.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, or just a lot of like blah blah, blah, blah
blah, you know, know, and pleasegetting more of the
best-selling books that are outthere right now.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I'm not gonna mention any but is it a lines in a line
?
It's not bad I love this book.
Good to know, but there aresome really great books out
there.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
That's like you didn't invent that shit yeah, I
know, it's just regurgitated,it's beautiful marketing it's
regurgitated and it's amazingand you got the platform, but,
please, you trademarked it.
You didn't fucking do it.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah, whatever yeah, but people feel through, people
see through that, though, andfeel through it.
They will eventually, you knowif it's not now, it'll
eventually will be there it'sokay.
Just because we're along thistopic, and I would love to hear
your feedback too.
You know, as I'm moving throughfacilitating a lot of these
women's sacred experiences andretreats and they're all so
different in so many ways andhow they're curated.
(30:16):
I'm obviously meeting a lotmore facilitators, you know, in
this space and I think that'sjust the one thing that really
kind of stings is when you startfinding people in this space of
leadership that are shaming andguilting, Irresponsible.
Irresponsibly, I mean, here weare showing up but they can't
sell them into the next thing.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
if there's not a problem to solve, so let's shame
and put them in a deeper holeso that this product is what you
can do next.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Right, Like I get it.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Trust me Like I'm a business savvy person, but not
at the expense of integrity,irresponsibility.
I mean, we're talking aboutpeople's lives and it is so
disgusting what I see a lot oftimes.
So if you are somebody thatfacilitates people, you better
be sure as fuck, If you're goingto crack them open, you know
(31:08):
how to guide them in a way thatserves them and their highest
good, not your marketing planand pocketbook 100%.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
You heard it right from Tracy O'Malley.
I'm telling you I needed tohave that conversation because
it's been so heavy on my heartwhen I watch it and witness it.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
It's so discouraging, it's part of why I have stepped
back the last year, becausethere's so much noise it's like
I don't want to be grouped intothat.
So much noise, it's like Idon't want to be grouped into
that and people of light reallyneed to step forward to drown
out that.
But I had to recalibrate andget good with myself, because
I'm so fucking angry about that,like it's so irresponsible.
(31:42):
It's so irresponsible what Isee people do and then they end
up with me when they have fullblown PTSD and they've been sold
shit that you know is terribleand took them down a rabbit hole
that they didn't need to go to.
But this last year for me hasbeen building up my spiritual
wellness, my spiritual muscles,so that I can come out guns
blazing for these people.
(32:04):
I'm done.
I'm done being quiet about it.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I'm right there with you, fuck.
I just said it.
I'm joining forces with you.
I just said it.
So I guess it, I'm right there,and so it is, and so it is All
right.
Watch out world 2025.
Watch out the Jaguar's comingout, I guess.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
My God Big Aries moment.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Big Aries.
Aries is in my Venus.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Oh, and my Venus is in Taurus.
No wonder we love each other.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
I love it.
Are you ready for a rapid fire?
Speaker 2 (32:42):
round.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Fire away 18 power pack questions.
Oh shit.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
She has no idea what's coming at her right now.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
All right, are they spicy?
They can be, okay.
Good, I'm going to mix them up.
I have two sections I can dohere.
This is amazing.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Whatever we might have to make this two episodes
at this point, I'm going to dothis instead.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Okay, okay, all right .
What's one habit that haschanged your life?
Oh Prayer, if you could giveyour younger self one piece of
advice, what would it be?
Lean in.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
What's your go-to practice when you feel stuck or
overwhelmed?
Now I lean into my beautifulpeople in my life.
I go hiking, Honestly, I get ona mountain, get outside and
hike.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
What's one self-love ritual?
You swear by Baths.
What does healing look like toyou?
In one word?
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Hashtag messy as fuck .
So I saw one word if it's ahashtag.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
That's accurate.
What's the most powerful lessonpain has ever taught you?
This too shall pass.
What's your favoriteaffirmation or mantra?
Speaker 2 (34:04):
I am courageous, brave and open.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
How do?
Speaker 2 (34:08):
you tap into your intuition and open.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
How do?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
you tap into your intuition Quiet outdoors, like
being in nature, outside is thebest way Movement, movement.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
If you had to describe your soul's purpose in
one sentence, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
The rescuer.
What's one belief you had tounlearn to reach your next level
.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
That vulnerability is weakness.
What's the best investmentyou've ever made in yourself?
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Rehab.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
What's a lie you've told yourself for way too long.
That's not how strong girls doit.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
What's your most embarrassing spiritual or
self-growth moment?
I don't think there's any thatare embarrassing.
I will say it's notembarrassing, but it was a
learning experience and it goesback to kind of what we talked
about is me being on stages infront of 20,000 people and
telling the story.
I thought I was beingvulnerable and I preached that I
(35:21):
was being vulnerable, but I wasactually being transparent.
Big difference.
I was telling a story that I'dalready figured out and so I
wouldn't say it's embarrassing,but it was probably my biggest
deepest understanding and switchthat I have flipped.
That vulnerability is in realtime, not sure how things are
going to go, leaning in andsharing that with somebody who
may or may not be able to guideyou through that, but it isn't
(35:45):
embarrassing.
This is just like that's how welearn sometimes is through it.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Have you ever received an intuitive nudge,
ignored it and instantlyregretted it.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
It usually is an instant.
I don't regret it because therewas something for me to learn
through the fall of it.
Not fun though.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Never.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
No.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Have you ever had a spiritual meltdown in the most
inconvenient place?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
spill the tea I don't know about inconvenient place,
but I do have spiritualmeltdowns um like never at like
the grocery store checkout.
No like that no, I really,really don't, not now.
I'm so like emotionallyregulated for the most part.
I will say, like there aretimes, like I said for me today,
(36:38):
intensity like back in the day15 years ago, like seriously,
like I joke when I say I couldturn my life into a dateline
episode in two minutes.
That's no joke now.
It's like that, that burst ofand anger.
It's so rare anymore.
And even when it happens now,like anger is a healthy emotion
(36:58):
when leveraged and shifted intosomething good, so I turn it
pretty quickly.
So no, I wouldn't say there'sanything I'm embarrassed of or
inconvenient about it.
I will say last week I had aspiritual meltdown, but it
wasn't embarrassing.
In fact that was one of themost vulnerable growing moments
of my life.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
What's the one thing?
Entrepreneurs waste too muchtime on Learning and not doing.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
I'm talking to myself , y'all, just so you know.
Sitting in the work, gettingmore information, gathering more
information, and the more we dothat, it's like we're creating
our own virus in our body,because it's like overload,
overload.
It's like take a nugget andimplement it.
Take a nugget, implement it.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Are you sure the extra hundred certifications I
get aren't going to help me?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
No, which is funny because I'm not like a typical
certification getter kind ofgirl, but like I do like to
learn things, but then it's likeI get paralyzed by it instead
of just doing them what's onebelief that has completely
changed your life?
That god is good all the time,honestly so true.
(38:07):
Even when it's hard Hashtag,god is good.
Even when you're getting theshit kicked out of you sometimes
, god is good.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
If you had 30 seconds to inspire the world, what
would you say?
Oh God, you can make it aminute, I don't even know.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Honestly, it depends Like.
It depends who's in front of me, Like I can't cookie cut or
something.
It depends who's in front of me, Like I can't cookie cutter
something.
This is the beauty of myconnection to God is I can't
just pop out something withoutsome kind of energy in front of
me, because I'm not a cookiecutter kind of girl.
What I think the world probablyneeds to hear is to have hope
(38:48):
that you know the things thatyou are going through today, no
matter how unthinkable orunmanageable, there is something
beautiful that will come of it.
If you lean in, if you stay inthe full process of
understanding and feeling.
Understanding and feeling, youwill go to transformation and
acceptance and see why maybesome of that had to happen for
(39:11):
you to step into the highestversion, the version that God
has always created you to be.
And I will say that I know thatif you're in the thick of it,
it feels like you're drowning,it feels like you're all alone,
and I promise you you are notand you have to lean in.
I mean, that's not flashy orquotable, really, but that's the
fucking truth that I think mostof us need reminding of amen
(39:33):
sister, amen tracy o'malley.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
I adore you, I love you.
I love you.
Thanks for having me and notlet me cancel and I didn't let
you cancel so here we are,letting me cancel and we both
look kind of pretty today and wedo got our hair and makeup done
, got it all dude, dude, I knowI walked out of the house and
he's like damn like.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
I know it's not the troll that you usually see.
Thanks, the troll.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
I lay down that.
Thank you so much.
My pleasure, I appreciate you,love you, love you.
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